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A week has passed now. I realize that Shizune has been evading both Misha and me, I don't blame her either, but I need to tell her how I feel, I need to tell her that I love her, I need to tell her that i'll be rigth here, and I won't get away from her, but she isn't here, and when I see her, she only goes away, leaving me with my feelings in my hands, even Misha looks so sad, I feel guilty, 'cuse I broke their friendship in the worse way, I feel like I'll gona die, for all this bad feelings I have, guilt, sadness and suffering, the only thing that give me hope it's that she realize that everything was a fool mistake, from both of us, a night that we both feel the sadness to see her away from us, and both felt...

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I'm here in my room, a soft and almost unrecognizable voice comes from the other side of my door.

Misha:Hicchan....are....are you there?

Hisao:Yes...you can come in

Misha:Shicchan don't wanna talk to meee....why?....she, she is not like she is....she is like....like she hate us....

she breaks in tears, I just can hug her and try to confort her sorrow, then, I see my own fate, Shizune hates me, I'm an Idiot, I lose her, but I, and last can try to stop this pain...

Misha looks at me, then she kiss me....i don't stop her.....and like that night we had sex....but It's a nonsense....there is no love, no joy, just a way out of this pain....

And like nothing a cuople of months have passed...every night Misha comes, we had sex...but It's seems a bit more enjoyable every time, sometimes we talk, sometimes we laugh, but then, at the end the same question always shows up....She's gonna forgive us someday?...I doubt it.

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Misha: Hicc..Hisao...did I...like you?

I don't know why she's asking this....maybe....well....maybe can we at last be...just a litte...happy at last?

Hisao: Yes...I like you...and I don't wanna let you alone, I'm here..for you

Misha: Thanks....you aren't a bad person....I shuold fall in love with you...

this last statement is something that i say to myself...Did i just never start dayting Shizune at all?

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I haven't seen Misha today, it's weird, she at last has give me a call....why she didn't, then I get shocked by the presentation of an exchange student...what the hell it's going on?

I asked Matou where is Misha, then he tell me this

Matou: Hisao....sorry, but Misha has gone to america...to improve her sign language

then a flash in my mind...i could stop her yesterday...but i only let her go away....now I'm alone...and this time the only tiny hope I was holding it's finaly gone....forever

This will be interesting.

You have chosen an interesting premise for this. Would like to see where this goes.
That said, there are several spelling and grammar mistakes. Possibly, English is not your native language? Maybe you could ask someone to help you with proof-reading.

acewing905 wrote:You have chosen an interesting premise for this. Would like to see where this goes.
That said, there are several spelling and grammar mistakes. Possibly, English is not your native language? Maybe you could ask someone to help you with proof-reading.

hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one

MasterJHG wrote: hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one

Well, if you're going to write anymore, ask someone for help with spelling and grammar.

If this is a one shot, it's kinda too gloomy, IMO. It's hard to imagine that Misha would just leave like that.

A well as getting a proof reader for this and any future work you do, you should ditch the script format for dialogue too.

acewing905 wrote:

MasterJHG wrote: hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one

Well, if you're going to write anymore, ask someone for help with spelling and grammar.

If this is a one shot, it's kinda too gloomy, IMO. It's hard to imagine that Misha would just leave like that.

Ah, so it was a one shot, I had a feeling. I questioned myself when you had an exchange student added to the class, it seemed you were taking the story toward a heart healing romance.