Page 1 of 1

Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 2:38 am
by MasterJHG
A week has passed now. I realize that Shizune has been evading both Misha and me, I don't blame her either, but I need to tell her how I feel, I need to tell her that I love her, I need to tell her that i'll be rigth here, and I won't get away from her, but she isn't here, and when I see her, she only goes away, leaving me with my feelings in my hands, even Misha looks so sad, I feel guilty, 'cuse I broke their friendship in the worse way, I feel like I'll gona die, for all this bad feelings I have, guilt, sadness and suffering, the only thing that give me hope it's that she realize that everything was a fool mistake, from both of us, a night that we both feel the sadness to see her away from us, and both felt...

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I'm here in my room, a soft and almost unrecognizable voice comes from the other side of my door.

Misha:Hicchan....are....are you there?

Hisao:Yes...you can come in

Misha:Shicchan don't wanna talk to meee....why?....she, she is not like she is....she is like....like she hate us....

she breaks in tears, I just can hug her and try to confort her sorrow, then, I see my own fate, Shizune hates me, I'm an Idiot, I lose her, but I, and last can try to stop this pain...

Misha looks at me, then she kiss me....i don't stop her.....and like that night we had sex....but It's a nonsense....there is no love, no joy, just a way out of this pain....

And like nothing a cuople of months have passed...every night Misha comes, we had sex...but It's seems a bit more enjoyable every time, sometimes we talk, sometimes we laugh, but then, at the end the same question always shows up....She's gonna forgive us someday?...I doubt it.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Misha: Hicc..Hisao...did I...like you?

I don't know why she's asking this....maybe....well....maybe can we at last be...just a litte...happy at last?

Hisao: Yes...I like you...and I don't wanna let you alone, I'm here..for you

Misha: Thanks....you aren't a bad person....I shuold fall in love with you...

this last statement is something that i say to myself...Did i just never start dayting Shizune at all?

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I haven't seen Misha today, it's weird, she at last has give me a call....why she didn't, then I get shocked by the presentation of an exchange student...what the hell it's going on?

I asked Matou where is Misha, then he tell me this

Matou: Hisao....sorry, but Misha has gone to america...to improve her sign language

then a flash in my mind...i could stop her yesterday...but i only let her go away....now I'm alone...and this time the only tiny hope I was holding it's finaly gone....forever

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 3:29 am
by Elcor
This will be interesting.

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:41 am
by acewing905
You have chosen an interesting premise for this. Would like to see where this goes. :)
That said, there are several spelling and grammar mistakes. Possibly, English is not your native language? Maybe you could ask someone to help you with proof-reading.

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 9:59 am
by MasterJHG
acewing905 wrote:You have chosen an interesting premise for this. Would like to see where this goes. :)
That said, there are several spelling and grammar mistakes. Possibly, English is not your native language? Maybe you could ask someone to help you with proof-reading.
hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:03 am
by acewing905
MasterJHG wrote: hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one
Well, if you're going to write anymore, ask someone for help with spelling and grammar. :)

If this is a one shot, it's kinda too gloomy, IMO. It's hard to imagine that Misha would just leave like that. :(

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:50 am
by BlackRockHanako
A well as getting a proof reader for this and any future work you do, you should ditch the script format for dialogue too.

Re: Hopeless (Misha-Hisao-Shizune Bad Ending)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 3:37 pm
by Elcor
acewing905 wrote:
MasterJHG wrote: hehehe yeah you got me, it'll be great is someone give me a hand with the grammar, but this was only a one shot....I think that Shuzune's bad ending was someting more like "here we had sex, and stuff, but I think that it's over", and she didn't mention the "confort episode"....that ending was like "and she lives like that forever...." that's why I wrote this one
Well, if you're going to write anymore, ask someone for help with spelling and grammar. :)

If this is a one shot, it's kinda too gloomy, IMO. It's hard to imagine that Misha would just leave like that. :(
Ah, so it was a one shot, I had a feeling. I questioned myself when you had an exchange student added to the class, it seemed you were taking the story toward a heart healing romance.