'Crush'
Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:24 pm
So I haven't failed badly in a bit. Seems like a good time to do it.
Storycodes: emi rin fan nosex
CRUSH
---
HELP
The wreck of the car is an unlovely, jagged thing. It has stopped smoking since, giving up its mechanical ghost. The tire marks on the asphalt, smudged and drowned in its bodily fluids, would remind an observer of the scratches left by a desperate, questing hand.
If there were an observer in the first place, that is.
PLEASE
The small girl is barely visible, compared to the bulk of the wreck. Pinned cruelly under the side of the car, she might as well be another ragged piece of debris - a shred of a tire, a portion of bumper, or the hand limply flopping out from the shattered windscreen.
There isn't all that much blood. She does not think this a blessing.
DADDY
She's done screaming - the first ten minutes, she did, almost continuously. The next twenty, she sobbed. Now she can only manage guttural, choking sounds; even agony can keep you going only so long.
She doesn't have the luxury of resigning herself yet; as bad as this is, there's hints of worse. The afternoon is windy, and now and then a particularly strong gust shifts the balance of the car a little bit. Every little bit makes her legs feel like they're being chewed up.
The wheels on the upper side of the car are but a memory. She doesn't want to bet on the flip of this hellish coin.
NOT RIGHT
So she keeps trying to scrabble forward - trying to get away from this almost-grinder, and in the process trying to get away from herself, in a sickeningly literal way. Her legs don't just protest, they revolt.
Past the nausea, past the tearing, past the aches: she needs to get away from here.
She pauses, panting. Her left pigtail is drooping in the dirt, the other has come undone a million years ago. The dust has greyed out her blonde hair as well as her pale face. The only color left are her eyes.
NO NONONO NONO
The wind blows.
There is a CREEEEAK...
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~
'EMI!!'
~...I blink, panting. There's a girl standing in front of me, short hair in disarray, in just her panties, prodding me rather roughly with her right foot. No arms. Rin.
'Emi, are you all right? Emi? Emi?'
I sit up, and finally I get it. I'm in my bed, this is my room, my bed feels soaked, Rin-chan is in front of me looking worried and upset. I don't feel all right, but it's miles better than what I was thinking. I manage a nod to reassure her, but I can't avoid sniffling and wiping at my eyes. My cheeks feel wet.
Rin half-sits on my bed, looking less upset, but still worried.
'What happened?'
'...I had a bad dream, Rin-chan. Sorry.'
I hug her. She stiffens a little, surprised, then does her best to reciprocate. It's not really fair, I know she feels a bit awkward about hugging, seeing as how she really can't do it herself - plus I must feel sweaty and icky. I'm sorry, but I do it anyway. I need to hold on to someone for a little while.
Once I think I have my tears under control, I release her. No complaints from her, despite me having surely woken her earlier as well. I'm so lucky to have Rin-chan as a friend and nearly-roommate.
She tilts her head to one side, scrutinizing me closely. I try to smile, to show her I'm truly all right - and I am, really. It's been years since I had this kind of nightmare. I thought it was gone, but well... not quite, apparently.
...she's getting closer, still watching me like a hawk.
'W-what?'
She's bent forward, staring at me right in the face from close range. I scoot back a little on my backside, but she's having none of it.
'Emi...'
'Y-yes?'
She cocks her head quizzically.
'...could you tell me what color was it? Your dream, I mean. If you remember.'
And with this, I crack up and dissolve into weak, helpless laughter. Rin just stands there, blinking and looking mildly confused. Yes, I'm lucky to have her as a friend... even if sometimes I can't understand her priorities.
Wiping my eyes again, but for a happier reason, I giggle and answer her, 'I'm sorry, Rin-chan, I can't. I don't really remember.'
This is a lie. I do remember all too well... it was the color of acid, and unyielding, and coal, and metallic. But I can't tell her. Rin's really good with this kind of thing, and she might get it in her head to draw it. Worse, she might get it right.
Me knowing the shape of this nightmare is one person too many already. I don't want to even consider seeing it again while wide awake.
'Thank you, Rin-chan, really. I'm okay now. You should go back to sleep, I'm sorry for having disturbed you.'
As though I turned off a switch, with a nearly audible 'click', Rin's eyes go unfocused. It's as though merely mentioning sleep is enough to get her halfway there. ...Well, I can't really blame her, though. What little light seeps in my room from the open door tells me it must be an ungodly hour.
'Mmm.' And with this comment, Rin stands, turns right around, and starts walking out. I have to quickly grab for my prostheses and fumble a bit in the half-light, in order to see her out the door and into her own room. Along the way, I get her key to my room out of the door and drop it in her usual place. I have a similar arrangement, making us nearly-roommates. One pair of goodnights - well, one goodnight and some mumbling, actually - later, I click the door to her room closed and take a deep breath in the quiet hallway.
So. Five in the morning, I'm wide awake, and yuck - this smell must be me. No way I'm going to be able to go back to sleep, especially in my sweat-soaked bedsheets. Only one thing to do, really.
***
As I shampoo my hair, I wonder. ...How come my nightmare returned? It's been several years since I last even thought about it. I'm done with that. I'm still me, I can do what I could do before, I haven't changed.
...Have I?
Urgh. Let's take stock.
New year, new classroom - scratch that. Been there done that, and I'm *not* a kid anymore.
Yeah, about that...
I look down at my breasts.
...Traitors.
Okay, so I'm not going to be a big cow. That's fine. That's dandy, actually. They're not going to be in the way while running, and they're going to keep their best shape forever, andand...
...And if Rin-chan wasn't my friend, I'd so murder her for having boobies just as firm, *and* the next larger bra size.
Gah. Get a grip, girl. Can't do anything about THAT. Focus.
Lots of scrubbing, rinsing, and toweling later, I still don't know what would make me so uneasy as to disturb my sleep.
Ah well. If there's anything, it'll come to me soon... I hope. I don't fancy getting a repeat of tonight, ever.
As I snap the elastics to keep my pigtails in place, I glance at the watch. Six in the morning... I might as well go to the track, get in a little light exercise. Heh, I'm slipping. Don't really want to get all sweaty and shower all over again, though. Next I know, I'll be just like...
...
I notice with a little detachment, it's a good thing the mirror is fogged because of the steam. Because if I could see my face in it well, I'm sure I would be even more embarrassed. The prickly feeling in my scalp and the hot flush I feel rising up from my neck must make a really spectacular blush. I must be beet-red.
...Hisao-kun.
Okay, so. I do like him, a little bit. He's so helpless at sports, but. He's really patient, he doesn't get angry at me. Even when I ran into him. Which I did. Twice. Plus, he's kind.
...He's rather cute toowheredidthiscomefrom?
I squeeze my eyes closed and slap my cheeks with my palms, twice, rather hard.
That helps, but it doesn't go away completely.
It's just...
He has this lust for life. I just keep running and running through life, going forward to avoid stopping. If we had a running contest, I would pass him right away. I'd leave him in the dust, lap after lap. But then I would finally get exhausted. I'd sit down in the track. And he would pass by me, smile, and give me a hand up. Then he would keep going at his unhurried pace, through the day, and the night, and the morning after would see him still going and beating my distance by miles.
I find out I'm fidgeting while thinking, and stop myself. Okay, if nothing else... I have figured out what is different in me. Now that I know...
I squeeze my hand into a fist.
I have a smile... no, a grin on my lips.
...Hisao-kun, it's time to get things in order.
One beat later, I'm out of the door, whistling.
-SC
Storycodes: emi rin fan nosex
CRUSH
---
HELP
The wreck of the car is an unlovely, jagged thing. It has stopped smoking since, giving up its mechanical ghost. The tire marks on the asphalt, smudged and drowned in its bodily fluids, would remind an observer of the scratches left by a desperate, questing hand.
If there were an observer in the first place, that is.
PLEASE
The small girl is barely visible, compared to the bulk of the wreck. Pinned cruelly under the side of the car, she might as well be another ragged piece of debris - a shred of a tire, a portion of bumper, or the hand limply flopping out from the shattered windscreen.
There isn't all that much blood. She does not think this a blessing.
DADDY
She's done screaming - the first ten minutes, she did, almost continuously. The next twenty, she sobbed. Now she can only manage guttural, choking sounds; even agony can keep you going only so long.
She doesn't have the luxury of resigning herself yet; as bad as this is, there's hints of worse. The afternoon is windy, and now and then a particularly strong gust shifts the balance of the car a little bit. Every little bit makes her legs feel like they're being chewed up.
The wheels on the upper side of the car are but a memory. She doesn't want to bet on the flip of this hellish coin.
NOT RIGHT
So she keeps trying to scrabble forward - trying to get away from this almost-grinder, and in the process trying to get away from herself, in a sickeningly literal way. Her legs don't just protest, they revolt.
Past the nausea, past the tearing, past the aches: she needs to get away from here.
She pauses, panting. Her left pigtail is drooping in the dirt, the other has come undone a million years ago. The dust has greyed out her blonde hair as well as her pale face. The only color left are her eyes.
NO NONONO NONO
The wind blows.
There is a CREEEEAK...
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~
'EMI!!'
~...I blink, panting. There's a girl standing in front of me, short hair in disarray, in just her panties, prodding me rather roughly with her right foot. No arms. Rin.
'Emi, are you all right? Emi? Emi?'
I sit up, and finally I get it. I'm in my bed, this is my room, my bed feels soaked, Rin-chan is in front of me looking worried and upset. I don't feel all right, but it's miles better than what I was thinking. I manage a nod to reassure her, but I can't avoid sniffling and wiping at my eyes. My cheeks feel wet.
Rin half-sits on my bed, looking less upset, but still worried.
'What happened?'
'...I had a bad dream, Rin-chan. Sorry.'
I hug her. She stiffens a little, surprised, then does her best to reciprocate. It's not really fair, I know she feels a bit awkward about hugging, seeing as how she really can't do it herself - plus I must feel sweaty and icky. I'm sorry, but I do it anyway. I need to hold on to someone for a little while.
Once I think I have my tears under control, I release her. No complaints from her, despite me having surely woken her earlier as well. I'm so lucky to have Rin-chan as a friend and nearly-roommate.
She tilts her head to one side, scrutinizing me closely. I try to smile, to show her I'm truly all right - and I am, really. It's been years since I had this kind of nightmare. I thought it was gone, but well... not quite, apparently.
...she's getting closer, still watching me like a hawk.
'W-what?'
She's bent forward, staring at me right in the face from close range. I scoot back a little on my backside, but she's having none of it.
'Emi...'
'Y-yes?'
She cocks her head quizzically.
'...could you tell me what color was it? Your dream, I mean. If you remember.'
And with this, I crack up and dissolve into weak, helpless laughter. Rin just stands there, blinking and looking mildly confused. Yes, I'm lucky to have her as a friend... even if sometimes I can't understand her priorities.
Wiping my eyes again, but for a happier reason, I giggle and answer her, 'I'm sorry, Rin-chan, I can't. I don't really remember.'
This is a lie. I do remember all too well... it was the color of acid, and unyielding, and coal, and metallic. But I can't tell her. Rin's really good with this kind of thing, and she might get it in her head to draw it. Worse, she might get it right.
Me knowing the shape of this nightmare is one person too many already. I don't want to even consider seeing it again while wide awake.
'Thank you, Rin-chan, really. I'm okay now. You should go back to sleep, I'm sorry for having disturbed you.'
As though I turned off a switch, with a nearly audible 'click', Rin's eyes go unfocused. It's as though merely mentioning sleep is enough to get her halfway there. ...Well, I can't really blame her, though. What little light seeps in my room from the open door tells me it must be an ungodly hour.
'Mmm.' And with this comment, Rin stands, turns right around, and starts walking out. I have to quickly grab for my prostheses and fumble a bit in the half-light, in order to see her out the door and into her own room. Along the way, I get her key to my room out of the door and drop it in her usual place. I have a similar arrangement, making us nearly-roommates. One pair of goodnights - well, one goodnight and some mumbling, actually - later, I click the door to her room closed and take a deep breath in the quiet hallway.
So. Five in the morning, I'm wide awake, and yuck - this smell must be me. No way I'm going to be able to go back to sleep, especially in my sweat-soaked bedsheets. Only one thing to do, really.
***
As I shampoo my hair, I wonder. ...How come my nightmare returned? It's been several years since I last even thought about it. I'm done with that. I'm still me, I can do what I could do before, I haven't changed.
...Have I?
Urgh. Let's take stock.
New year, new classroom - scratch that. Been there done that, and I'm *not* a kid anymore.
Yeah, about that...
I look down at my breasts.
...Traitors.
Okay, so I'm not going to be a big cow. That's fine. That's dandy, actually. They're not going to be in the way while running, and they're going to keep their best shape forever, andand...
...And if Rin-chan wasn't my friend, I'd so murder her for having boobies just as firm, *and* the next larger bra size.
Gah. Get a grip, girl. Can't do anything about THAT. Focus.
Lots of scrubbing, rinsing, and toweling later, I still don't know what would make me so uneasy as to disturb my sleep.
Ah well. If there's anything, it'll come to me soon... I hope. I don't fancy getting a repeat of tonight, ever.
As I snap the elastics to keep my pigtails in place, I glance at the watch. Six in the morning... I might as well go to the track, get in a little light exercise. Heh, I'm slipping. Don't really want to get all sweaty and shower all over again, though. Next I know, I'll be just like...
...
I notice with a little detachment, it's a good thing the mirror is fogged because of the steam. Because if I could see my face in it well, I'm sure I would be even more embarrassed. The prickly feeling in my scalp and the hot flush I feel rising up from my neck must make a really spectacular blush. I must be beet-red.
...Hisao-kun.
Okay, so. I do like him, a little bit. He's so helpless at sports, but. He's really patient, he doesn't get angry at me. Even when I ran into him. Which I did. Twice. Plus, he's kind.
...He's rather cute toowheredidthiscomefrom?
I squeeze my eyes closed and slap my cheeks with my palms, twice, rather hard.
That helps, but it doesn't go away completely.
It's just...
He has this lust for life. I just keep running and running through life, going forward to avoid stopping. If we had a running contest, I would pass him right away. I'd leave him in the dust, lap after lap. But then I would finally get exhausted. I'd sit down in the track. And he would pass by me, smile, and give me a hand up. Then he would keep going at his unhurried pace, through the day, and the night, and the morning after would see him still going and beating my distance by miles.
I find out I'm fidgeting while thinking, and stop myself. Okay, if nothing else... I have figured out what is different in me. Now that I know...
I squeeze my hand into a fist.
I have a smile... no, a grin on my lips.
...Hisao-kun, it's time to get things in order.
One beat later, I'm out of the door, whistling.
-SC
the accident was done perfectly, and the part of her talking about hisao was so sweet