Hanako's Honeymoon (erotic) (part 12+epilogue. Finished)

[Oddball]

I don't know what exactly, but there's something just really amusing about a desperate and pervy Hanako.

[YOTC]

I had an odd feeling when I started reading this. I thought I just didn't like the writing style, but now I realize exactly what it was.

Good job sir. I have chuckled today.

[txalolrn9]

I don't know what exactly, but there's something just really amusing about a desperate and pervy Hanako.

Brogurt proved it can be not amusing at all

[Oddball]

I don't know what exactly, but there's something just really amusing about a desperate and pervy Hanako.

Brogurt proved it can be not amusing at all

That's a different kettle of fish altogether.

This is the normal desperate pervy Hanako and it's good.
Brogurt's is the weird alternate pervy Hanako that hangs out with a vest wearing Kirk and a Spock with a goatee and it's evil through and through.

But enough about that. Let's talk about this story. It's awesome.

[themocaw]

Give me the chocolate, Hisao.

I lol'd.

I have to say, this story's not exactly the greatest I've ever read: there's a lot of technical issues to it, and the writing needs some work. On the other hand, it's been fun to read.

[DanjaDoom]

The dialogue seems a bit...awkward? I kinda felt like I was watching an anime sub, hehe.

Good concept though, keep at it

[Beoran]

I know my writing is not the greatest, it's been like 10 years since I wrote any fiction. And I'm not a native English speaker either. So I'd love to get some more detailed suggestions and corrections in this thread or by PM, whatever way you prefer. If it feels a bit like an anime sub, though, that is because I wanted to emphasize that Hanako and Hisao are truly and well Japanese, because that is crucial to the story.

But I'm glad you people can enjoy the story and the humor. Well, on to part 6.

[Beoran]

And another part. It looks like this story may even run up to 10 parts? Lots of exposition in this part.

Part 6 -- Mysterious

The faint light of morning shines though my closed eyelids. I open them and find that I'm lying in bed, covered up with a sheet and a blanket. Next to me I hear Hisao's slow breathing. He's still asleep. Last night he must have covered me up without waking me. He's so kind. I smile. Then I notice there is still chocolate on my hands, and I feel a bit itchy down there. So I silently slip out if the bed and head for the bathroom.

I use the toilet and wipe down there a bit. Running a shower would make too much noise, so I plug the washbasin, and let warm water slowly flow inside. I look in the mirror. There are brown smears over my face as well, so I wash my hands and my face, before I take off my blouse and bra. Then I rub my lips down there clean. Hmmm... yesterday felt so nice, it was different, much more exciting and fun. We never did that before, and Hisao...

Hiaso also never did that before... I frown... How did he know what to do? It couldn't be... Does he have a girlfriend who taught him? Ah, but... no, he wouldn't right? Besides I also never did that before, and I learned it from that movie. He must also have seen it some perverted manga or anime something like that. I'm reminded of when we moved in to our appartment. There was a box with his name on, and he requested that I didn't look inside it. I want to respect my husband's privacy so I didn't think anything of it then. But now I see... he must have lot of perverted stuff in that box! And that means... he can't get excited about me, so he uses that to make do...

I see my face has completely clouded up now as if I'm ready to cry. Hisao, yesterday was not different. It was the same as always. I remember the first time, I just took of my clothes, forbade him to speak, and I made him do what I wanted him to do to me. It was bit painful then because we were both virgins, but I really enjoyed the thought of finally having sex with him. And after that, those twenty two other times, went much the same. Well, they were more fun than the first time because I found out soon how to do it right. I guess he did too.

But I always shut him up. I don't listen to what he has to say. I'm so lewd that I always simply force him to do what I want. I know Hisao really loves me, and I love him. He doesn't coddle or pity me, and he lets me take care of him as well as he takes care of me. But when it comes to sex... He must have been overwhelmed by me. I'm not exciting at all, with my body like that, and his heart condition makes it hard on him too. And I do nothing but crave for him like he's a chocolate bar.

Yesterday too, I made him shut up. And shouting at him to fuck me... that's no way to talk to him... I wonder why it's so hard for me to talk to Hisao about my desires. We can talk about almost everything, our feelings, our ideas, our friends, our work, anything. But it's as if, because I feel so close to him, that the topic of sex is just too embarrassing, too lewd, too grotesque to address. I feel like if I say that I want to have sex with him every day, he will think of me as if I had asked him to rob a bank every day, or even like I asked him to to eat a turd every day...

I look at myself in the mirror again. I look like a dejected old lady now. No, I promised... I won't be bitter! I try to cheer up, and I'm reminded of the wink that lady at the opera gave us. I try to wink myself, but only manage to blink both my eyes at the same. Strange, it's really true we Japanese have a hard time winking. I put my hand over my right eye and close it, and I keep my left eye open. Then I slide my right hand down. Ah, yes, that's more like a wink, isn't it? I practice a few times more until it comes out right.

A cultural difference. I remember reading in the guide book that French people often show their emotions freely. I look at the water. The sink has filled up and starts to overflow though the second hole. Overflow. I have to open the sink, otherwise it will overflow. I pull out the stopper and watch the dirty water flow out. This sink is like my heart. I have to open it up, or it will overflow too. The dirt will remain inside if I don't. I nod with a determined look on my face. Now I know what I have to do.

But first things first. We have tickets for the Louvre for this morning. The tickets are on hour, and we have to be there in time. If we are too late, we won't be able to visit and we'll lose our money as well. So, we should get ready and head down to eat breakfast. I step out of the bathroom for a moment to look at the clock. We will have to hurry a bit. I walk over to Hisao and go sit next to him, and wake him with a kiss. He blinks as he looks at me.

"Good morning, Hanako." he says with a faint smile. I can see him glance at my breasts.
"Good morning, Hisao." I say. He quickly sits up.
"Oh, right, today is the Louvre! He looks at the clock. "Not much time left, and I didn't shower last night!". Of course, he didn't want the sound to wake me up.
"I only washed my hands and face, I also still need a shower. So let's take one together?" I suggest.
"Good idea Hanako, it will be faster that way!"

We head over to the shower and step in together. I turn the tap until I find a water temperature we can both enjoy. I take the small soap bar in my hands and wash Hisao's back. I pass him the soap and turn around. He gentry rubs an massages my back as he works up a lather and rinces. I'd love him to repeat, but we have to hurry, so we finish our shower together. Hisao steps out first and hands me a big towel with both hands. I step forwards against the towel and he rubs my body to dry me. When I'm all dried up, I take a towel myself and pad Hisao dry. Hisao then dries his hair with a towel, and I use the hotel's hairdryer, which turns to be remarkably powerful. We step out of the bathroom and get dressed.

"I still have to put my make-up on." I say, as I head back to the bathroom.
"If you're OK with it, I'll already go down and get us some breakfast." Hisao says.
"Ok, I'll come down after you. Hot chocolate and toast for me, please." I say. I hear Hisao head out. I take the Covermark but then I decide against it. No, not today. I won't cover up. Not my face, and not my feelings, even if they are ugly. So I just apply some light foundation, draw my eyebrows and put on some lipstick. Kiss proof. I hope I will need it.

It looks like today will also be a sunny day, so I just take my purse, the tickets for the Louvre, and the room key, and step into my boots. I head down and after getting lost a bit, one of the staff members shows me the way to the breakfast room. Hisao waves me over to his table. Two plates with two toasts each, a hot chocolate and tea. The breakfast is buffet style, but we have to hurry a bit, so we quickly gobble down our food without talking.

"Everything set?" Hisao says as he gets up.
"Yes, let's go!" I say.
We walk out of the room, though the lobby and outside. We make a brisk walk to the metro, and after a change of trains we end up at the station under the Louvre. I look at my watch...
"Only ten minutes..." I say.
"Let's run, Hanako!" Hisao takes my arm in his and together we dash up the stairs to the museum, criss crossing between the people. I giggle all the way and I see Hisao is smiling too. The guard looks a cross at us as we almost fall at the door. Hisao opens it and I enter with my breath heavy. Hisao feels his chest, and everything is OK, so we continue on inside. I look for the desk for prepaid tickets. Fortunately there is no no queue there so we make it there right on time.

The Louvre is huge, and I want to visit that other place this afternoon, so with the book, I guide Hisao around the most famous paintings, skipping over the others. After seeing several masterpieces, we pass by "Liberty Leading the People".
"Nice, but I like your breasts better!" Hisao jokes.
"T-thank you!" I smile. Well, there's no other Japanese nearby so no one can understand the compliment anyway. And it makes me really happy!

Then after a few more paintings and statues we head down to the famous "Mona Lisa". The room is busy. I admire the picture from some distance.
"Her smile is really mysterious." I say.
"I think it is because she had great sex the night before." Hisao whispers in my ear.
"You think so?" I whisper, then I step back and show my face to Hisao as I try to imitate the painting's expresion as well as I can.
"Definitely!" He whispers back in my ear.
And we both burst out in laughter. I see some of the other tourists frown at our rowdiness.

"They're getting miffed. Let's escape!" I elbow his arm with a flawless wink. Good thing I practiced this morning! He takes my arm and guides me out of the room though a few corridors, until we're away from the crowd. Then he turns to me, lifts up my chin with his hand, and gives me a quick French kiss.
"Hisao..." I say. "Let's go somewhere else." I smile. He will understand!

I take his hand again, and after some more corridors, room and stairs, we walk out of the Louvre. I lead Hisao into the metro. We take the rain and sit down. Not far from us we can see a young couple kissing each other.
"Let's show them that the French have nothing on us Japanese" he whispers in my ear. Then he turns his face to mine again and I open my mouth to let his tonge in as we kiss even more passionately and deeply than before. My tongue fools around against Hisao's, sucking and licking for minutes. Surely he will understand!

<Pigalle> A voice announces. I break the kiss.
"It's here, quick!" I say, and pull Hisao off the train. The door buzzes and snaps closed right behind him.
"That was close!" he says.
We're both laughing like madmen again.
I jump up, wrap my hands around Hisao's shoulders and hug him.
"I love you Hisao!" I say.
"Watch it, you're going to make me falls on the rails." he says with mock indignation. He carries me a few steps as I hang from his shoulders, then he puts me back on my feet. "But I'll forgive you because you are my beloved wife." he says and kisses my forehead. Certainly, he will understand!

[Daitengu]

"Good morning, Hanako." she says with a faint smile. I can see him glance at my breasts.

[Beoran]

Nice catch Daitengu! Already fixed. Thanks!

[BlackRockHanako]

This just has me laughing solidly, some light heartedness is nice. More than a few mistakes in the last part, might be worth reading it over again.

[Mirage_GSM]

I know my writing is not the greatest, it's been like 10 years since I wrote any fiction. And I'm not a native English speaker either. So I'd love to get some more detailed suggestions and corrections in this thread or by PM, whatever way you prefer.

Well, one suggestion right there: Take your time. Read your story over at least twice before you post it. Fix things you don't like. You don't have a deadline to meet, and nobody forces you to churn out two chapters a day.

And the writing may be not as good as before, sorry about that.

After all, you seem to have noticed it yourself...

[Beoran]

Mirage_GSM, that's all very good advice.

I guess he problem is that I'm not very patient. When I have a story in my mind, I want to write it out as quickly as I can. It's because for me a story flows out of my fingers almost organically. Many things have happened in this story, that I hadn't planned for at all. They just came to me in the moment. Even now I don't know how far this story will take me. That's why I feel some urgency to push it all out in one go, but I also kind of like it that way.

But what I will do is that I will reread every part a few times before I post it, and when I have the whole story, review everything once more in depth.

[Mealforthree]

"Hmmma hahmm hamma hammah hamahamm hahamam hamm".

Hisao and the Bacon Girl save the day!

[DanjaDoom]

Mirage_GSM, that's all very good advice.

I guess he problem is that I'm not very patient. When I have a story in my mind, I want to write it out as quickly as I can. It's because for me a story flows out of my fingers almost organically. Many things have happened in this story, that I hadn't planned for at all. They just came to me in the moment. Even now I don't know how far this story will take me. That's why I feel some urgency to push it all out in one go, but I also kind of like it that way.

But what I will do is that I will reread every part a few times before I post it, and when I have the whole story, review everything once more in depth.

I have the same problem with my stories, lol.