Added a few extra lines of dialogue. Also thinking of naming the next chapter "Little Birdie" after watching Charlie Brown earlier.
Just a thought.
Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 16 Now Up
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Well, fellas, suffice it to say, this story's on a long hiatus.
To put it simply, I don't know where I want to go with it. Along with that, I doubt I'll be able to explore the characters in a way that hasn't been done much better by others.
So, with a heavy heart, the adventures of Suzu and Aaron are going to be on hold for now.
To put it simply, I don't know where I want to go with it. Along with that, I doubt I'll be able to explore the characters in a way that hasn't been done much better by others.
So, with a heavy heart, the adventures of Suzu and Aaron are going to be on hold for now.
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Hey, look, it's not on hiatus anymore!
I'm here to fill in the Suzu shaped hole in your life, and hopefully you enjoy my efforts.
Please leave a comment and critique!
Also, a special thanks to neio for proofreading and making me sound not dumb.
Chapter 13: Sirius
“A date, you say? I was wondering why you smelled so much better than usual.”
“Well, in my completely unbiased opinion, I think I smell wonderful all the time.”
“Ah, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. All teenage boys have that funk, it’s only natural! Ask Mr. Mutou, I’m sure he’ll tell you.”
Ms. Tanaka giggles, and I follow suit. I caught up to her in the library as she was helping Yuuko finish some chores, and more than likely attempting to get her to try a fruity new drink she discovered recently.
“Did you do something with your hair?” I ponder aloud.
Ms. Tanaka’s usual long mane of auburn hair has been condensed into a neat little bun at the top of her head, held in place by a couple of dark red pins.
“Just thought I’d go for a little change in wardrobe. You know us women, trying out something new every week.”
“Wouldn’t happen to be a change for our dashing science professor, would it?”
She laughs, almost devilishly. “Nice try, kid. You can’t even comprehend how many times people have guessed about my love life. You can’t fluster me! And I’ll sign you up for the knitting club next time you ask!”
I pout.
“You’ve made your point. But, just out of morbid curiosity, how does Yuuko react to questions about her love life?”
“The usual.”
“Blushing and fainting?”
“Bingo! Now that you’ve planted the idea in my head, I may just go ask her later.”
Once again, we both laugh. I guess we’re just in a very happy mood today.
“So you’re finally taking Suzu out, hmm?” she asks.
“Kinda-sorta. I’ve been out and about with her before, but now it’s official.”
“Well, it’s good to hear you’re taking the initiative! Some people go their whole lives living in regret over things like that. Not going for who they wanted to, I mean.”
Is she speaking from personal experience on that?
Either way, I don’t really have the heart to tell her that the two of us were set up by an overzealous pair of girls in our class.
“When’s the date?”
“I’m going to meet her at six.”
“Six?” the counselor asks with a bemused look. “That’s four hours from now. Why are you dressed up so early?”
I look down proudly at my choice of apparel: a black button-down with dark brown slacks and casual loafers. Let it be known that Aaron Fukui is a man who knows to how dress.
“Just wanted to be prepared,” I shrug.
The better part of my day has been spent walking around the entirety of Yamaku in a fluttery, pre-date stupor. I hit the cafeteria earlier for a bit of breakfast, spied on some art students working on landscapes out in the courtyard, and watched some squirrels play with an empty carton of strawberry milk. I finally decided to head back inside before I started smelling like the outdoors.
My mind leaps to an opportunity that I simply can’t pass by.
“Do you mind if I ask you for some advice about tonight?” I asks her, polite as a maid in a cafe.
A wistful look appears on her face. I imagine she’s flashing back to her days as a younger girl. If she looked as good back then as she does now, I bet she was quite a catch. I’ll need to save that line for a later date, when I’m in need of brownie points.
“Well,” she begins. “A first date is... different. You never truly forget your first date. It’s something special, magical even. It’s the night when all of your cards are on the table, when the veil is pulled back. All the stars are shining bright like lights. It’s just... well, it’s a very important night, is what I’m getting at.”
“Great, so no pressure then, right?”
She grins and pats me on the shoulder.
“Just follow your head, and you’ll do alright. The one on top, I mean. The other one just gets you into way more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Ms. Tanaka! That’s inappropriate!” I chide, failing to stop both my blush and my goofy smile.
“It was, wasn't it?” she grins mischievously. "Maybe we should keep this conversation to ourselves, hmm?”
“Won’t say a word.”
“Good man! Now you should run off before you get stuck pulling a thirty pound box of Advanced Chemistry copies off of Yuuko.”
With a wave and a quick goodbye, I lightly jog out of the library and back into the hallway. It’s been a slow day so far-- not that I’m complaining. My parents always told me that the people around you bleed into you. I thought it sounded pretty gross when I was younger, but now it makes a lot of sense. The general light-heartedness of a sunny weekend afternoon should, in theory, lead to a tranquil weekend night. Again, “in theory.”
However, as my time here at this prestigious academy has shown me, you should never expect anything less than the unexpected, and doing otherwise can yield some very confusing and potentially scarring results.
But, what do I have to fear? Worrying about tonight won’t change the outcome, so there’s no point to any of it, right? I should just go and let fate steer the course. Que Sera, Sera.
I pass by a classroom along the way. A handful of people are inside, mulling over some coursework from earlier in the week. Molly is a part of the study group, and I contemplate going inside to talk to her. She makes eye contact with me and waves briefly. I opt to just do the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wait patiently at the bus stop, nodding politely to any student or faculty member who joins me on the bench. I’m squished towards the end before long, the metal armrest digging into my rib cage. I got a text from Suzu earlier, declining my offer to come and pick her up. She said she wanted to “surprise me.” I’m a bit worried. In Suzu language, that can mean one of many things.
Luckily, I don’t have to wait long for her to arrive.
From beyond the iron archway of Yamaku, my date for the night appears, wearing a light grey jacket and a baby blue dress underneath. I smirk upon spotting her pair of old red converse with the laces tied into a neat little bow. I can just imagine her knotting and unknotting them with the same eagerness of a girl primping her hair.
I wave over to grab her attention. She spots me after a few seconds and begins to jog over.
The bench is so crowded that I'm struggling to keep my lungs from collapsing. Apparently not too concerned by this fact, Suzu takes a seat next to me. Her small frame allows her just enough room to squeeze between me and the hand rest, albeit with one leg draped over my lap.
“So, where are we off to?” she asks me, swinging her pale legs to and fro nonchalantly.
“I found this nice place online,” I respond. “Constellation. It’s this trendy cafe downtown, apparently a lot of artists like to eat there. Sounded like somewhere you’d like to go.”
The grin on her face tells me I've chosen right. We’re off to a good start here!
The two of us wince as a girl on her phone scoots over a few inches to the right. This is the moment to be thankful that most everyone here at Yamaku is in at least decent shape. Otherwise, a broken bench and wood splinters up the ass. Literally.
The bus arrives after a few minutes, putting an end to our suffering. No one is in any particular hurry to make it on, so I grab Suzu by the forearm and take the opportunity to scout ahead for the best seats. I’ve always fancied the area between the front and center of the bus, and Suzu isn't exactly providing any counter suggestions, so I suppose we’ve found our spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time we arrive at the front of Constellation, the sun has sunk well below the horizon, leaving behind a dark blue glow over downtown. Somehow, I can’t imagine seeing this place any other way.
“After you,” I tell her, holding open the door and wringing the hem of my jacket.
“How very gentlemanly,” she says. “Just tell me when you have to go to the bathroom and I’ll hold the door open for you. It’s the least I can do.”
Smiling at her little quip, we both settle down at a table at the far end of the club. A mystic blue glow spreads from wall to wall, accompanied by the soft crooning of the house band playing what can best be described as soft blues-jazz fusion for the romantic indie fan. Definitely a good place for someone like Suzu.
Our waitress, a perky young girl, comes to take our order. As she’s taking Suzu’s order, I can’t help but notice the girl’s sidelong glances my way. When she finally turns to get a good look at me, a dreadfully familiar smile appears on her face.
“Can I half your order, saw?” she asks in painfully broken English.
Despite my best efforts, I get recognized every so often for what I really am: a foreigner trying to wing his way through a culture he’s only experienced through the long-winded tales of his family. The very first day I arrived here in Japan, I was assaulted by overeager residents, mostly food court cashiers and baggage handlers, who apparently just spend their days waiting for tourists to arrive at the airport so they can show off their English skills to a native speaker. It’s partly my fault, I suppose, for talking a bit too loudly on the phone with my mom, but in my defense a plane was taking off and I wasn't able to hear.
“Just water, please. And your English is nice.”
My compliment brightens her smile considerably. She happily jots down my drink order and returns to the back.
“What was that about?” Suzu asks under her breath.
“An aspiring English speaker. I thought I’d managed to escape them, but it looks like I thought wrong.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“She had a nice ass.”
I successfully avoid her smack.
“Dumbass,” she chuckles.
Our waitress returns a short while later with our drink orders. The two of us order some soup and sit there in silence when she leaves.
It’s embarrassing that I just now realized that I don’t have all that much to talk about. We both share the same classes, after all, and it’s not as if I do anything productive during the day. How can I compare to one of the most interesting girls in the entire school?
“I like your jacket,” she compliments. “Leather?”
“Oh, thank you. And no, it’s polyurethane, actually. They’re usually about a hundred dollars retail, but I saved about sixty percent buying it online, so I guess you could say it was a steal! Not that I actually stole it, but, yeah...”
Suzu nods cordially. Should I just spend the rest of the night telling her about my uncanny ability to spot great deals online? It’d definitely be more interesting than the scenarios I’m going through in my head.
“Sausage gumbo, huh?” she inquires.
“I’m kind of curious to see how they make it.”
“I thought you would be Johnny American and order the bacon cheeseburger.”
I chuckle. “I thought about it, but I doubt it’d be the same as the down home fare. What made you want cream of chicken?”
“I guess I’m curious, too.”
“Hmm,” we mutter simultaneously. This temporary lull in our conversation leaves us both with ample time to twirl our straws in our drinks and practice napkin origami. There’s a little girl at a table across the floor, staring agape at us, more specifically the left side of my face. I smile and wave, as has become my custom whenever I catch someone gazing at me. The young girl swiftly turns her head back towards her small plate of french fries.
“Does it still bother you?” Suzu asks.
It takes me a little bit to catch her meaning.
“Sometimes. I've gotten used to it for the most part, though. I’d probably stare too. It’s just human nature to be curious.”
“It’s still rude,” she gripes.
“Yeah, that’s true. I guess I just don’t like making a big deal out of those things.”
Hm...
“Hey, Suzu?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever... well, has your narcolepsy ever, like, hit you in public?”
“You mean, have I ever fallen asleep in public?”
“Well, no, I know you have, but has it ever gotten you unwanted attention? Like, you were just walking down the hall one day, and...”
Her lips recede backwards somewhat, and for a moment I regret bringing the subject up.
“Sometimes. When I was six or seven I fell over in my seat during lunchtime and fell to the floor. My teacher was the only one who knew about my condition, I never worked up the nerve to tell my classmates. So she ended up having to carry me out to the nurse’s office while everyone else was crying because they thought they just saw someone die.”
I stare down grimly into the whirlpool I just made in my drink, partly to hide the shameful reaction I feel building up in me.
“It’s ok, you can laugh,” she tells me, and in fact starts to do just that. “It’s a pretty funny story, looking back.”
“It kind of is,” I admit, snickering hushedly.
It’s pretty alarming that the thought of young children crying amuses us. Maybe we’re destined to end up as the childless couple, cringing at pictures of the peanut-headed monstrosities that our friends show off on their phones.
I wonder if we’ll even make it that far?
The waitress returns, thankfully diverting my attention away from this potentially negative train of thought.
“Here’s your soup! I hope the long wait didn't inconvenience you!”
She’s sticking to her much smoother Japanese, luckily.
“Enjoy the show!” she tells us as she departs. We’d almost forgotten about the house band and the soft jazz-blues-whatever they’ve been playing. It’s easy for the music to simply fall in with the atmosphere until you barely even register it anymore. That’s the beauty of places like this, I suppose. Personally, I’d prefer to have people focused on me instead of their coffee if I were in a band, but that’s probably just me being conceited.
“Have you heard of these guys?” Suzu inquires.
“Nope. Must be some local band,” I answer.
My date titters through a mouthful of chicken.
“Not exactly. They’re actually kinda-sorta famous. They’re called Sirius. They've released an album and everything.”
This mildly-interesting fact of the day brought to you by Suzu Suzuki.
“Looks like they've got a guest,” I point out.
A slender young guy walks onstage, an acoustic guitar in one hand and a foggy shot glass in the other. Everything he has on is some shade of black or grey, like a stagehand for a kabuki play. As he takes a seat on a stool, the rest of the band retreats into the background, hands crisscrossed behind their backs. This looks like a solo performance.
Strum.
The lights reflect from the lenses of his spectacles. Add that with the long hair framing his face, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that a shadow had walked onto the stage. He wastes no time in beginning his song. His voice is like an ocean current: silent, but with an undeniable power. I feel a chill resonate through my bones upon hearing the echo of his guitar.
I recognize the song the guy’s playing. It’s by Jose Gonzalez. Of course, he’s redone it with Japanese lyrics, but he’s still somehow managed to keep the same rhythm and feel amidst the translation.
Put your hand on your heart, and tell me. It’s all over. I won’t believe it till you put your hand on your heart and tell me. That we’re through.
Not a bad choice of song.
I glance over Suzu’s way, just to see her reaction. I have a habit of looking over at people during performances, just to see if they’re enjoying it as much as I am.
Her face seems... off. Almost a cocktail of dumbstruck and nauseous. She’s also gotten pretty sweaty.
“You ok?” I whisper, placing a hand over hers.
She pulls away like a frightened animal and leaps to her feet.
“Bathroom,” she mumbles to me, making a break for the bathroom. Bad soup, I guess?
I turn back to watch the performer continue. On second glance, he seems to have been focused on our table intently. I haven’t even seen him look anywhere else, as a matter of fact. Even through the impenetrable glare of his glasses, I can sense him watching me. It’s unsettling, to say the least, and I feel myself slide down in my seat and avoiding any eye contact.
He finishes, thanks the applauding audience and steps away from the stage. I don’t catch sight of him for a while from beyond the curtain, so my concern alleviates a bit. It seems like a silly thing to have been worried about in hindsight, and I’m actually a bit frustrated that I let it get in the way of my musical entertainment.
The door to the girl’s bathroom opens, and out walks Suzu. Her breaths appear to be rather heavy, and forceful, like someone trying to stave off the feeling of nausea. I push away the rest of my gumbo, just to be safe.
All of a sudden, she stops at the halfway point between the door and her seat, her body frozen and glistening with sweat. As I follow the direction of her gaze, I notice the young man from earlier, still dressed in his black winter jacket and grey pants.
I could swear I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. What exactly is his game?
He strides over towards my table, his stance firm and determined.
“Was Suzu Suzuki just here?”
“Who's asking?” I reply, more on edge that I thought.
“Jin. My name is Jin. She’ll know who I am.”
I'm here to fill in the Suzu shaped hole in your life, and hopefully you enjoy my efforts.
Please leave a comment and critique!
Also, a special thanks to neio for proofreading and making me sound not dumb.
Chapter 13: Sirius
“A date, you say? I was wondering why you smelled so much better than usual.”
“Well, in my completely unbiased opinion, I think I smell wonderful all the time.”
“Ah, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. All teenage boys have that funk, it’s only natural! Ask Mr. Mutou, I’m sure he’ll tell you.”
Ms. Tanaka giggles, and I follow suit. I caught up to her in the library as she was helping Yuuko finish some chores, and more than likely attempting to get her to try a fruity new drink she discovered recently.
“Did you do something with your hair?” I ponder aloud.
Ms. Tanaka’s usual long mane of auburn hair has been condensed into a neat little bun at the top of her head, held in place by a couple of dark red pins.
“Just thought I’d go for a little change in wardrobe. You know us women, trying out something new every week.”
“Wouldn’t happen to be a change for our dashing science professor, would it?”
She laughs, almost devilishly. “Nice try, kid. You can’t even comprehend how many times people have guessed about my love life. You can’t fluster me! And I’ll sign you up for the knitting club next time you ask!”
I pout.
“You’ve made your point. But, just out of morbid curiosity, how does Yuuko react to questions about her love life?”
“The usual.”
“Blushing and fainting?”
“Bingo! Now that you’ve planted the idea in my head, I may just go ask her later.”
Once again, we both laugh. I guess we’re just in a very happy mood today.
“So you’re finally taking Suzu out, hmm?” she asks.
“Kinda-sorta. I’ve been out and about with her before, but now it’s official.”
“Well, it’s good to hear you’re taking the initiative! Some people go their whole lives living in regret over things like that. Not going for who they wanted to, I mean.”
Is she speaking from personal experience on that?
Either way, I don’t really have the heart to tell her that the two of us were set up by an overzealous pair of girls in our class.
“When’s the date?”
“I’m going to meet her at six.”
“Six?” the counselor asks with a bemused look. “That’s four hours from now. Why are you dressed up so early?”
I look down proudly at my choice of apparel: a black button-down with dark brown slacks and casual loafers. Let it be known that Aaron Fukui is a man who knows to how dress.
“Just wanted to be prepared,” I shrug.
The better part of my day has been spent walking around the entirety of Yamaku in a fluttery, pre-date stupor. I hit the cafeteria earlier for a bit of breakfast, spied on some art students working on landscapes out in the courtyard, and watched some squirrels play with an empty carton of strawberry milk. I finally decided to head back inside before I started smelling like the outdoors.
My mind leaps to an opportunity that I simply can’t pass by.
“Do you mind if I ask you for some advice about tonight?” I asks her, polite as a maid in a cafe.
A wistful look appears on her face. I imagine she’s flashing back to her days as a younger girl. If she looked as good back then as she does now, I bet she was quite a catch. I’ll need to save that line for a later date, when I’m in need of brownie points.
“Well,” she begins. “A first date is... different. You never truly forget your first date. It’s something special, magical even. It’s the night when all of your cards are on the table, when the veil is pulled back. All the stars are shining bright like lights. It’s just... well, it’s a very important night, is what I’m getting at.”
“Great, so no pressure then, right?”
She grins and pats me on the shoulder.
“Just follow your head, and you’ll do alright. The one on top, I mean. The other one just gets you into way more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Ms. Tanaka! That’s inappropriate!” I chide, failing to stop both my blush and my goofy smile.
“It was, wasn't it?” she grins mischievously. "Maybe we should keep this conversation to ourselves, hmm?”
“Won’t say a word.”
“Good man! Now you should run off before you get stuck pulling a thirty pound box of Advanced Chemistry copies off of Yuuko.”
With a wave and a quick goodbye, I lightly jog out of the library and back into the hallway. It’s been a slow day so far-- not that I’m complaining. My parents always told me that the people around you bleed into you. I thought it sounded pretty gross when I was younger, but now it makes a lot of sense. The general light-heartedness of a sunny weekend afternoon should, in theory, lead to a tranquil weekend night. Again, “in theory.”
However, as my time here at this prestigious academy has shown me, you should never expect anything less than the unexpected, and doing otherwise can yield some very confusing and potentially scarring results.
But, what do I have to fear? Worrying about tonight won’t change the outcome, so there’s no point to any of it, right? I should just go and let fate steer the course. Que Sera, Sera.
I pass by a classroom along the way. A handful of people are inside, mulling over some coursework from earlier in the week. Molly is a part of the study group, and I contemplate going inside to talk to her. She makes eye contact with me and waves briefly. I opt to just do the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wait patiently at the bus stop, nodding politely to any student or faculty member who joins me on the bench. I’m squished towards the end before long, the metal armrest digging into my rib cage. I got a text from Suzu earlier, declining my offer to come and pick her up. She said she wanted to “surprise me.” I’m a bit worried. In Suzu language, that can mean one of many things.
Luckily, I don’t have to wait long for her to arrive.
From beyond the iron archway of Yamaku, my date for the night appears, wearing a light grey jacket and a baby blue dress underneath. I smirk upon spotting her pair of old red converse with the laces tied into a neat little bow. I can just imagine her knotting and unknotting them with the same eagerness of a girl primping her hair.
I wave over to grab her attention. She spots me after a few seconds and begins to jog over.
The bench is so crowded that I'm struggling to keep my lungs from collapsing. Apparently not too concerned by this fact, Suzu takes a seat next to me. Her small frame allows her just enough room to squeeze between me and the hand rest, albeit with one leg draped over my lap.
“So, where are we off to?” she asks me, swinging her pale legs to and fro nonchalantly.
“I found this nice place online,” I respond. “Constellation. It’s this trendy cafe downtown, apparently a lot of artists like to eat there. Sounded like somewhere you’d like to go.”
The grin on her face tells me I've chosen right. We’re off to a good start here!
The two of us wince as a girl on her phone scoots over a few inches to the right. This is the moment to be thankful that most everyone here at Yamaku is in at least decent shape. Otherwise, a broken bench and wood splinters up the ass. Literally.
The bus arrives after a few minutes, putting an end to our suffering. No one is in any particular hurry to make it on, so I grab Suzu by the forearm and take the opportunity to scout ahead for the best seats. I’ve always fancied the area between the front and center of the bus, and Suzu isn't exactly providing any counter suggestions, so I suppose we’ve found our spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time we arrive at the front of Constellation, the sun has sunk well below the horizon, leaving behind a dark blue glow over downtown. Somehow, I can’t imagine seeing this place any other way.
“After you,” I tell her, holding open the door and wringing the hem of my jacket.
“How very gentlemanly,” she says. “Just tell me when you have to go to the bathroom and I’ll hold the door open for you. It’s the least I can do.”
Smiling at her little quip, we both settle down at a table at the far end of the club. A mystic blue glow spreads from wall to wall, accompanied by the soft crooning of the house band playing what can best be described as soft blues-jazz fusion for the romantic indie fan. Definitely a good place for someone like Suzu.
Our waitress, a perky young girl, comes to take our order. As she’s taking Suzu’s order, I can’t help but notice the girl’s sidelong glances my way. When she finally turns to get a good look at me, a dreadfully familiar smile appears on her face.
“Can I half your order, saw?” she asks in painfully broken English.
Despite my best efforts, I get recognized every so often for what I really am: a foreigner trying to wing his way through a culture he’s only experienced through the long-winded tales of his family. The very first day I arrived here in Japan, I was assaulted by overeager residents, mostly food court cashiers and baggage handlers, who apparently just spend their days waiting for tourists to arrive at the airport so they can show off their English skills to a native speaker. It’s partly my fault, I suppose, for talking a bit too loudly on the phone with my mom, but in my defense a plane was taking off and I wasn't able to hear.
“Just water, please. And your English is nice.”
My compliment brightens her smile considerably. She happily jots down my drink order and returns to the back.
“What was that about?” Suzu asks under her breath.
“An aspiring English speaker. I thought I’d managed to escape them, but it looks like I thought wrong.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“She had a nice ass.”
I successfully avoid her smack.
“Dumbass,” she chuckles.
Our waitress returns a short while later with our drink orders. The two of us order some soup and sit there in silence when she leaves.
It’s embarrassing that I just now realized that I don’t have all that much to talk about. We both share the same classes, after all, and it’s not as if I do anything productive during the day. How can I compare to one of the most interesting girls in the entire school?
“I like your jacket,” she compliments. “Leather?”
“Oh, thank you. And no, it’s polyurethane, actually. They’re usually about a hundred dollars retail, but I saved about sixty percent buying it online, so I guess you could say it was a steal! Not that I actually stole it, but, yeah...”
Suzu nods cordially. Should I just spend the rest of the night telling her about my uncanny ability to spot great deals online? It’d definitely be more interesting than the scenarios I’m going through in my head.
“Sausage gumbo, huh?” she inquires.
“I’m kind of curious to see how they make it.”
“I thought you would be Johnny American and order the bacon cheeseburger.”
I chuckle. “I thought about it, but I doubt it’d be the same as the down home fare. What made you want cream of chicken?”
“I guess I’m curious, too.”
“Hmm,” we mutter simultaneously. This temporary lull in our conversation leaves us both with ample time to twirl our straws in our drinks and practice napkin origami. There’s a little girl at a table across the floor, staring agape at us, more specifically the left side of my face. I smile and wave, as has become my custom whenever I catch someone gazing at me. The young girl swiftly turns her head back towards her small plate of french fries.
“Does it still bother you?” Suzu asks.
It takes me a little bit to catch her meaning.
“Sometimes. I've gotten used to it for the most part, though. I’d probably stare too. It’s just human nature to be curious.”
“It’s still rude,” she gripes.
“Yeah, that’s true. I guess I just don’t like making a big deal out of those things.”
Hm...
“Hey, Suzu?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever... well, has your narcolepsy ever, like, hit you in public?”
“You mean, have I ever fallen asleep in public?”
“Well, no, I know you have, but has it ever gotten you unwanted attention? Like, you were just walking down the hall one day, and...”
Her lips recede backwards somewhat, and for a moment I regret bringing the subject up.
“Sometimes. When I was six or seven I fell over in my seat during lunchtime and fell to the floor. My teacher was the only one who knew about my condition, I never worked up the nerve to tell my classmates. So she ended up having to carry me out to the nurse’s office while everyone else was crying because they thought they just saw someone die.”
I stare down grimly into the whirlpool I just made in my drink, partly to hide the shameful reaction I feel building up in me.
“It’s ok, you can laugh,” she tells me, and in fact starts to do just that. “It’s a pretty funny story, looking back.”
“It kind of is,” I admit, snickering hushedly.
It’s pretty alarming that the thought of young children crying amuses us. Maybe we’re destined to end up as the childless couple, cringing at pictures of the peanut-headed monstrosities that our friends show off on their phones.
I wonder if we’ll even make it that far?
The waitress returns, thankfully diverting my attention away from this potentially negative train of thought.
“Here’s your soup! I hope the long wait didn't inconvenience you!”
She’s sticking to her much smoother Japanese, luckily.
“Enjoy the show!” she tells us as she departs. We’d almost forgotten about the house band and the soft jazz-blues-whatever they’ve been playing. It’s easy for the music to simply fall in with the atmosphere until you barely even register it anymore. That’s the beauty of places like this, I suppose. Personally, I’d prefer to have people focused on me instead of their coffee if I were in a band, but that’s probably just me being conceited.
“Have you heard of these guys?” Suzu inquires.
“Nope. Must be some local band,” I answer.
My date titters through a mouthful of chicken.
“Not exactly. They’re actually kinda-sorta famous. They’re called Sirius. They've released an album and everything.”
This mildly-interesting fact of the day brought to you by Suzu Suzuki.
“Looks like they've got a guest,” I point out.
A slender young guy walks onstage, an acoustic guitar in one hand and a foggy shot glass in the other. Everything he has on is some shade of black or grey, like a stagehand for a kabuki play. As he takes a seat on a stool, the rest of the band retreats into the background, hands crisscrossed behind their backs. This looks like a solo performance.
Strum.
The lights reflect from the lenses of his spectacles. Add that with the long hair framing his face, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that a shadow had walked onto the stage. He wastes no time in beginning his song. His voice is like an ocean current: silent, but with an undeniable power. I feel a chill resonate through my bones upon hearing the echo of his guitar.
I recognize the song the guy’s playing. It’s by Jose Gonzalez. Of course, he’s redone it with Japanese lyrics, but he’s still somehow managed to keep the same rhythm and feel amidst the translation.
Put your hand on your heart, and tell me. It’s all over. I won’t believe it till you put your hand on your heart and tell me. That we’re through.
Not a bad choice of song.
I glance over Suzu’s way, just to see her reaction. I have a habit of looking over at people during performances, just to see if they’re enjoying it as much as I am.
Her face seems... off. Almost a cocktail of dumbstruck and nauseous. She’s also gotten pretty sweaty.
“You ok?” I whisper, placing a hand over hers.
She pulls away like a frightened animal and leaps to her feet.
“Bathroom,” she mumbles to me, making a break for the bathroom. Bad soup, I guess?
I turn back to watch the performer continue. On second glance, he seems to have been focused on our table intently. I haven’t even seen him look anywhere else, as a matter of fact. Even through the impenetrable glare of his glasses, I can sense him watching me. It’s unsettling, to say the least, and I feel myself slide down in my seat and avoiding any eye contact.
He finishes, thanks the applauding audience and steps away from the stage. I don’t catch sight of him for a while from beyond the curtain, so my concern alleviates a bit. It seems like a silly thing to have been worried about in hindsight, and I’m actually a bit frustrated that I let it get in the way of my musical entertainment.
The door to the girl’s bathroom opens, and out walks Suzu. Her breaths appear to be rather heavy, and forceful, like someone trying to stave off the feeling of nausea. I push away the rest of my gumbo, just to be safe.
All of a sudden, she stops at the halfway point between the door and her seat, her body frozen and glistening with sweat. As I follow the direction of her gaze, I notice the young man from earlier, still dressed in his black winter jacket and grey pants.
I could swear I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. What exactly is his game?
He strides over towards my table, his stance firm and determined.
“Was Suzu Suzuki just here?”
“Who's asking?” I reply, more on edge that I thought.
“Jin. My name is Jin. She’ll know who I am.”
Last edited by DanjaDoom on Fri May 10, 2013 2:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Dun Dun DUN.
Huzzah, for you have returned!
Huzzah, for you have returned!
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Seems like I've been "returning" a lot, doesn't it?Hoitash wrote:Dun Dun DUN.
Huzzah, for you have returned!
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Perhaps, but it's a good thing. gives you a chance to wear a cool cap and wear aviator sunglasses all the timeDanjaDoom wrote:Seems like I've been "returning" a lot, doesn't it?Hoitash wrote:Dun Dun DUN.
Huzzah, for you have returned!
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
-
Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6216
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
Just one thing:
A pretty elaborate introduction for a mere side story - interesting
A factoid is a piece of information that is quite probably wrong. In the context I don't think that is what you were going for.This mildly-interesting factoid of the day brought to you by Suzu Suzuki.
A pretty elaborate introduction for a mere side story - interesting
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
This is a main part of the story, actually, heh.Mirage_GSM wrote:Just one thing:A factoid is a piece of information that is quite probably wrong. In the context I don't think that is what you were going for.This mildly-interesting factoid of the day brought to you by Suzu Suzuki.
A pretty elaborate introduction for a mere side story - interesting
And I wasn't aware of that. Thanks for being smarter than me, Mirage
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Side Story #2 Now Up
Nah, I like my head to have breathing room. I'm down to rock the aviators, though.Hoitash wrote:Perhaps, but it's a good thing. gives you a chance to wear a cool cap and wear aviator sunglasses all the timeDanjaDoom wrote:Seems like I've been "returning" a lot, doesn't it?Hoitash wrote:Dun Dun DUN.
Huzzah, for you have returned!
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
-
Guestimate
- Posts: 117
- Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:32 am
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
It Lives! Woo! Good to see this back.
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
Good to have people actually reading it again, Guestimate!Guestimate wrote:It Lives! Woo! Good to see this back.
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
Well, I said before I'd check this out when Scissorlips is done. Now that he's finished making up a story about a warm, fuzzy narcoleptic with awful nightmares who dreads her future, and I've had a little time to forget some things about his interpretation, I've decided to do just that.
It works out that I'm about three weeks ahead on my TD release schedule, so I opened up page one, prepped a reply post, and read your first chapter: I'm reasonably impressed--that doesn't shock me.
Anyway, since I'm as much a critic as I am a reader, I noted a few issues:
After reading the first chapter, I'd reiterate the first comment by saying his immediate infatuation with Suzu ought to be explained. Even if you only spend a few extra sentences describing her--add weight to the description versus the other girls--so when his boyish thoughts center on her after she passes out, it makes a little more sense.
I'll probably use PMs for future chapter notes, but I don't think I've ever posted on this thread, so I figured I might as well add it to my watched threads by doing so.
Blarg!
It works out that I'm about three weeks ahead on my TD release schedule, so I opened up page one, prepped a reply post, and read your first chapter: I'm reasonably impressed--that doesn't shock me.
Anyway, since I'm as much a critic as I am a reader, I noted a few issues:
You have too much the.A stubborn, bull-headed part, sitting away in the corner while the all the other parts socialize and pity the poor little boy, wallowing in self-pity.
Perhaps at should be from, here?like a bad hot dog at a movie theater that makes you hallucinate at one in the morning.
Space, the final frontier... these are the voyages of an errant additional divider. A fourteen month mission to reduce the quality of a fictional work ever so slightly, and place a tiny blight on its well-written structure, to boldly annoy a stickler for grammar. With liberty and justice for all!“Hi there! You must be new, I haven’t seen you around here, ” she says,
I'm guessing your intent is to have him rifle off the words quickly, in which case hyphens might be more effective. Though considering it's a repeated problem in other areas, I'm thinking you just didn't notice the spaces were missing originally...but,uh,well...
First, love the line here. Second, 'said' is a tense error.“I’m pretty sure the word was ‘like cow piss,’ not ‘funny,’” Molly said.
After reading the first chapter, I'd reiterate the first comment by saying his immediate infatuation with Suzu ought to be explained. Even if you only spend a few extra sentences describing her--add weight to the description versus the other girls--so when his boyish thoughts center on her after she passes out, it makes a little more sense.
I'll probably use PMs for future chapter notes, but I don't think I've ever posted on this thread, so I figured I might as well add it to my watched threads by doing so.
Blarg!
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
Fixed errytang, and even added a spankin' new pop culture reference somewhere in there. Cause, you know, I don't have enough already.
Lemme just say, going back to read the first chapter of your fic is... off. Everything's so different. It's like watching the pilot of your favorite TV show. Only it's a show
I wrote.
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this as much as Scissorlips', Helbereth. I wouldn't want to ruin Suzu for you.
Lemme just say, going back to read the first chapter of your fic is... off. Everything's so different. It's like watching the pilot of your favorite TV show. Only it's a show
I wrote.
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this as much as Scissorlips', Helbereth. I wouldn't want to ruin Suzu for you.
My fine literary endeavors: Real, M&M, Rat Race, and Hideaki: A Tale of Manliness. Feel free to stroke my ego and read them.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey-Sanic
-
Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6216
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
Probably just wasting more time on cracked and similar sites...DanjaDoom wrote:And I wasn't aware of that. Thanks for being smarter than me, Mirage
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Real (A Suzu/OC Story) Chapter 13 Now Up
It's back from the dead! From the comments I've been reading, sounds like this story almost went hollow.
Looks like DanjaDoom went back to Undead Asylum. Um, anyways.
It's good. There are just a number of very small, small grammatical errors scattered about, but I'm not very nit-picky (which means I can't remember where they are). Real is a nice, refreshing dose of narcoleptic adorable.
Better make chapter sixteen a slammer, since it's implied Aaron might dislike it.
Looks like DanjaDoom went back to Undead Asylum. Um, anyways.
It's good. There are just a number of very small, small grammatical errors scattered about, but I'm not very nit-picky (which means I can't remember where they are). Real is a nice, refreshing dose of narcoleptic adorable.
Better make chapter sixteen a slammer, since it's implied Aaron might dislike it.