The L-Word
Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:01 pm
It's nearly curfew and I'm stumbling down my hallway after a wonderful date with Hanako. I felt it tonight, it's unmistakable. It's love and I have to tell someone or else I'd scream it at the top of my lungs. The latter is sort of frowned upon at Yamaku. I knocked on Kenji's door since he's, like, the only guy I socialize with further than a nod or friendly greeting.
I hear the familiar disabling of way more than necessary locks, and my bespectacled hallmate appears.
“Hisao, you're late. You've been late a lot recently.”
“Are you spying on me, Kenji?”
“No.”
“That's what a spy would say when confronted on whether or not he's a spy.”
“Okay, you got me. You're a fast learner, Nakai.”
“I learned from the best,” and we brofisted. “Anyways, I have to tell you. I have to tell somebody.”
“What is it?” He looks genuinely concerned.
“I think I've succumbed to the L-Word.”
“L-Word? … Lesbian?”
“No, Kenji, not lesbian.”
“Licorice? Lucifer?”
“Love, Kenji, I'm in love!”
He furrows his brows, “Hisao, you've fallen for Ikezawa's feminine wiles?”
“I'm 'fraid so.”
“Be careful, man, I don't trust her. She's so … mysterious.”
“I know. That's what makes her so …” I trailed off with a lovestruck smile plastered on my face.
“I don't trust mysterious people. They're so … mysterious. They could be spys or secretly know thought to be long lost forms of karate.”
“I don't think she knows karate, Kenji.”
“Secretly!” he interjects, “Besides, what do you really know about her? Where was she born? Where was she raised? Does ancient text refer to she as 'The Chosen One?' I bet you've never even met her parents, have you?”
“Um, Kenji, she kind of don't have parents. Well, she did have parents … she's an orphan. She grew up in an orphanage.”
“An orphanage, eh? I'm not allowed within 500 feet of one. Same for playgrounds and elementary schools. You know, because of the children.”
“Uh, I'm afraid to ask why.”
“Last year. Took over a daycare. Locked the doors and told those 3 to 5 year olds it's Battle Royale and there will only be one winner/survivor.”
“Yeah, I'm right to be afraid.”
“Nobody was killed, only one kid got stabbed with a knife because I was showing them an example and one kid got sick from eating glue. The local media attributed to some bullshit Battle Royale rip off from America called Hunger Games or something.”
“Huh. I guess I'm going to sleep and try to forget about that terrible image now.”
“Good night, man.”
I hear the familiar disabling of way more than necessary locks, and my bespectacled hallmate appears.
“Hisao, you're late. You've been late a lot recently.”
“Are you spying on me, Kenji?”
“No.”
“That's what a spy would say when confronted on whether or not he's a spy.”
“Okay, you got me. You're a fast learner, Nakai.”
“I learned from the best,” and we brofisted. “Anyways, I have to tell you. I have to tell somebody.”
“What is it?” He looks genuinely concerned.
“I think I've succumbed to the L-Word.”
“L-Word? … Lesbian?”
“No, Kenji, not lesbian.”
“Licorice? Lucifer?”
“Love, Kenji, I'm in love!”
He furrows his brows, “Hisao, you've fallen for Ikezawa's feminine wiles?”
“I'm 'fraid so.”
“Be careful, man, I don't trust her. She's so … mysterious.”
“I know. That's what makes her so …” I trailed off with a lovestruck smile plastered on my face.
“I don't trust mysterious people. They're so … mysterious. They could be spys or secretly know thought to be long lost forms of karate.”
“I don't think she knows karate, Kenji.”
“Secretly!” he interjects, “Besides, what do you really know about her? Where was she born? Where was she raised? Does ancient text refer to she as 'The Chosen One?' I bet you've never even met her parents, have you?”
“Um, Kenji, she kind of don't have parents. Well, she did have parents … she's an orphan. She grew up in an orphanage.”
“An orphanage, eh? I'm not allowed within 500 feet of one. Same for playgrounds and elementary schools. You know, because of the children.”
“Uh, I'm afraid to ask why.”
“Last year. Took over a daycare. Locked the doors and told those 3 to 5 year olds it's Battle Royale and there will only be one winner/survivor.”
“Yeah, I'm right to be afraid.”
“Nobody was killed, only one kid got stabbed with a knife because I was showing them an example and one kid got sick from eating glue. The local media attributed to some bullshit Battle Royale rip off from America called Hunger Games or something.”
“Huh. I guess I'm going to sleep and try to forget about that terrible image now.”
“Good night, man.”