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Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 8:07 pm
by Mentlegen
Not sure if this was already asked but will Ben have any love interests?

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 3:55 pm
by Roamin12
Mentlegen wrote:Not sure if this was already asked but will Ben have any love interests?
It's a KS fanfic, that should answer that :lol:Relationship development will start next chapter
*EDIT: This may no longer be the case, things have changed from before (See Update), and that part of the story is actually up in the air at the moment, but the main cast of characters will start to play a bigger role than they have previously.

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:33 pm
by griffon8
Roamin12 wrote:Chapter 10: Rain

"Unfortunately I'm the only one here at this time, I imagine Hisao and Hanako are doing something together, those two are piratically inseparable,"
Yar! Hoist the yardarm! Bring the ship alongside! Ready the cannons!
Roamin12 wrote:Chapter 11: Further

I watch as the game progresses, and I clearly see Lilly has no chances of wining. She is down to a rook, two pawns, and a king, meanwhile Hanako still has more than half her forces, including her queen.
You mean the game is already over, but they're still pushing pieces around?

Sorry, but I found those errors particularly amusing. :P

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:17 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Not "down" but "down to". Subtle difference:-)

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:44 pm
by griffon8
Oh, hey, you're right. I totally misread that.

The first one is still funny.

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:23 pm
by Roamin12
Story Progress Update/Notice thing:
It’s been a while since the last update, almost three months now, I believe, and I would like to apologize for that.

Things have been hectic, summer went by incredibly fast, my grandmother with dementia stayed at my house for a month or so, I have been trying to help my friend through some rough times at his house (Parents physically fighting while he tries to keep his little brother out of it), and several other things have kept me from really working on the story, and also the fact the my laptop went kaput, along with every part of this story, chapter out lines, story concepts, character bios, etc., and none of that can be reclaimed as the hard drive pretty much exploded. Despite all this, I have been busy the past few weeks trying to get all that data back onto this computer, although the story will be altered from what it was first meant to be like, but I like the looks of it more than the last one, so the explosion of my hard drive may have been a blessing in disguise.

I cannot say for sure when I will put up the next chapter, (The one I had up for about a day before I took it down due to me realizing that writing at 2:00 AM may not be a good idea.), also the chapter will have more differences than the previous plan meant it to have due to change in the future parts of the story. I can say that it will probably be up in a week or two, but updates won’t be as frequent as they used to be since I am already swamped in school work only a week into school.

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:58 pm
by Guest90206
YOU'RE BACK!

Image

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:47 pm
by Roamin12
Once again, I am sorry for the long delay, I was extremely busy during the summer. Even when summer ended, school decided to destroy my free time with homework and projects. A bunch of house renovations, trying to find a new house to move to, and other things has kept me from writing. Even when I find time to write, my laptop exploding and losing everything set me back quite a bit, but I finally have a new chapter, I hope you enjoy, but I may be a little rusty.

I ended up changing a lot more than I originally intended to from the original due to complications.
_________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 12: Anger

I hobble down the school halls as fast as possible to try and reach the comfort and safety of my dormitory room as fast as possible. Unfortunately, I cannot claim to be the fastest person around here, especially when you factor in my crutches.

Thankfully, I manage to open the door to my room unchallenged.

By the time I sit down on my twin bed, having already put down my crutches on the floor in front of me, my arms are ever-so-slightly shaking, symptom number one, check.

I feel an odd sensation somewhere between my stomach and upper torso, symptom two, check.

I can feel the pit begin to struggle against the walls I have set up to keep it in check. I know the pit isn`t some physical being, but I swear that I can feel it thrashing against my barriers, that or I’m just imagining it. Symptom three, check. All systems are a go. And thus, the struggle begins.

#2, or word 2, doesn’t mess around at all, it doesn’t require it to be used multiple times for it to become dangerous, and for some reason if I taste something that has #2 in it, then it has the same effect as the verbal use has. But, there is one weakness, well not really weakness, but it can’t stack, or in other words, once it is used, even if it is said twice, tasted twice, or vice versa, it won’t strengthen. I can’t tell you how many times I triggered the pit on purpose to get that information, not because it’s too many to count, but because I got tired of counting how many times I willingly let that thing attack me.

Unfortunately, knowing is only half the battle, and the other half is the one that ends up mattering the most. My barriers have been conditioned by years of struggling against the pit, they will never, and have never come down easily, but when #2 triggers the pit, it guarantees a difficult fight no matter what the circumstances are. When #1 triggers the pit, it feels dark, bitter, and angry, but when it is a #2 trigger, it is fused with blind hate, fury and horrible fear, and like many things about the pit, I cannot really be sure why this is, and it is starting to get immensely frustrating not knowing a damn thing about the enemy. For the most part, I manage to keep the pit under control, but the pit is not something to take lightly, in my mind’s eye, I watch with dismay as the pit eventually forces back my defensive lines, although I replace my barriers almost quickly as they fall, the pit gains a little ground. It may obey the general rules of the trigger words; they are only general rules, in reality I know next to nothing about the pit, if I did know, I might actually stand a better chance against the damned thing.

The pit rages against my inner walls, smashing many, only to end up halting its advance again due to another barrier blocking its path for every one they destroy.

Fighting the pit has never been a very enjoyable experience, even though I am aware there is no possible way that the pit is a physical entity, it does not prevent any confrontation with the pit from being an uncomfortable, tiring, and sometimes even physically painful. No matter how many times I may face it, nothing about it ever feels natural, it even feels a little artificial if anything. The mental strain of fighting the pit is just as tiring as fighting a physical being, and I had seen enough examples of how the pit can cause physical pain.

Every encounter with the pit is a little different, sometimes it may be what I call a “Dud”, an easily dealt with breakout, other times it is merely average ,or “Joe”, which is short for “Average Joe”, and at the pit’s strongest point, I call it “Defcon 1”. I cannot remember the reason I started calling the levels of severity by a nickname, I may never have had a reason, I just started naming the levels one day and I suppose that is all that really matters, if that matter at all. This time it seems to be a slightly more dangerous Joe. It may obey the general rules of the trigger words; they are only general rules, in reality I know next to nothing about the pit, if I did know, I might actually stand a better chance against the damned thing.

In my mind’s eye, I imagine a dam standing before a mighty surge of water, capable of destroying the once proud concrete structure, only for the water to find that many more dams stand between it and the ocean, its goal. The metaphor may not be perfect, for whatever battlefield the pit fight on, the playing field is not linear what-so-ever, it is has multiple paths and in actuality the a river wouldn`t be able to destroy that many concrete barriers. Actually, a prison riot is probably the best metaphor, the guards do their best to overwhelm the convicts, and usually they manage to keep all of them in the jail, but sometimes a few escape and wreak havoc on the surrounding area until the police are able to subdue them. In that metaphor, I am the police, the pit playing the convicts, and my internal barriers acting as the prison guards. Unfortunately, in this prison riot, a few convicts manage to escape into the night, and begin the cause trouble. The guards try to stop them, but they have already broken through their defensive lines, leaving the police to clean it up. I scowl with frustration, any time convicts escape, I am left with the worst job of them all, taking care of the convicts.

This is the worst part for a reason; there are two methods I have discovered that work against the pit, one is the method I used last Wednesday, where I direct the anger at myself, and that is the method that is only used as a last resort, when I am in public, in other words. The reason why is that if I try to use the second method in public, it would only backfire and cause me to lash out at the first person I see. However, in situations like this, the second method is ideal, well not really ideal, but the best option I have available. It is simple but drawn out, simply allow the anger to burn itself out. The pit’s forces self-destruct and then reform over-and-over, each time getting smaller and smaller, until it finally burns out. Just like almost everything having to do with the pit, I have no idea why this happens and it infuriates me to no end. I have used logic successfully for almost every other problem in my life, but the pit defies logic, none of the laws of physics, biology, or math will help me in this, and I have no idea what will.

I grit my teeth as the pit’s anger and hate sweeps over me. My hands start shaking without remorse. The second method may be simple and the most ideal, but it is by no means a leisurely stroll in the park. I feel anger and hatred, not from the pit, but from myself, and directed towards the pit. I have never allowed myself feel angry or hateful for anything, the pit being the only exception.

It is almost unbearable at first, but after a few minutes, the hate begins to simmer down a little, without anything to strike out at, it begins its self-destructive cycle, which will eventually get rid of the hate and anger, but that will take several hours at best.

I settle in for the long haul and stare vacantly at the wall across from my bed for a while, but not in peace. The pit is still churning in my stomach and the hate and anger is still there, and it will be there for a few hours.
Without really knowing why I start softly humming a tune, I don`t even remember the words to or the name of the song, just the tune. It was soft, droning, and remorseful. It kept my mind off the anger and hate.

After a few minutes, the song ends, and I transition into softly singing another song, there may be no instruments physically playing, but I can imagine it, the slow guitar chords, the deep, hollow sounds of the bass and drums, gentle playing of a piano, a violin at some parts, and the quiet, subdued voice. In my mind, it makes unparalleled harmony of one of the greatest, and saddest, songs of all time.

“So glad to see you have….overcome them….completely silent now…with heaven’s help, you cast your demons out. And not to pull your halo down…around your neck and tug you off your cloud…but I’m more, than just, a little curious about how you’re planning to make your amends…to the dead…to the dead.”* I softly sing the anger fading into the background as I continue to hum and softly sing the words of the song. Once it ends, I start another, without thinking I start a cycle of singing and humming, transitioning from one song to the next without really thinking about it.

I start another one, the anger continuing to recede.
*****************************************
“But I’m on the outside, I can see through you, see your true colours, cause inside you’re ugly, ugly like me, I can-“**

RING RING RING.

Goddamn alarm clocks.

The clock continues to make the most annoying sound ever created, only silencing when I slam my palm on the snooze button, and proceeding to turn it off.

I groan a little as I sit up, I hadn`t even noticed that it was already dawn. I apparently stayed up until the first light, even though the pit had more than likely subsided several hours ago, I can’t really tell, I had been lost in the music of my head, and for some reason, I don`t even feel all that tired.

I go about my morning routine, getting a bath, putting on my school uniform, all the usual stuff. I play my acoustic a little longer than I normally do, wanting to put the encounter last night behind me.

Once I finish that, I fish my iPod out of my bag, plug in my headphones, choose Tool, and head out the door to face the world again.
___________________________________________________________________________________
*The Noose by A Perfect Circle
**Outside by Staind

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:39 am
by Mirage_GSM
An excercise in "How many metaphors can I cram into one chapter?"
And another case of "That guy needs to see a psychiatrist."

Re: The Foreigner

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:43 pm
by Roamin12
Mirage_GSM wrote:An excercise in "How many metaphors can I cram into one chapter?"
I blame Literature Composition class.
And another case of "That guy needs to see a psychiatrist."
I said I changed more than I intended to, but I had no intentions of changing that, and pretty much every character in KS (other than a few) should see a psychiatrist.