Of Jigoro and Hisao
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:48 am
Gettin' Jiggy
Hisao tugged at his tie and sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. "God, if You're listening, then please, please let this go well," he mumbled as he fixed the offending article. "And if that's too much to ask, then could I at least live through this whole thing?"
A tapping from his right drew his attention to the young lady in the dark blue, bare-shouldered evening dress rapping her knuckles on the cupboard. [Sorry to interrupt], Shizune signed. [Is something wrong? I saw you saying something; with that look on your face, it couldn't have been good.]
[No, no,] Hisao replied. [Just a little nervous, is all. I mean, your dad does have a katana.]
[Which he hardly ever uses,] Shizune pointed out.
[Hardly?]
Shizune grinned and took Hisao into her arms. Hisao reciprocated, and added a kiss besides. Shizune was the first to let go, and only reluctantly because she needed to speak. [Hardly. And don't be so nervous!] she added, with a withering smile. [He'll accept our engagement whether he likes it or not,] she signed, the look she gave him tinged with finality.
Hisao grinned as he let her go. [Well, someone's confident,] he replied.
[Of course. You'll never get anything done otherwise,] she replied smugly. [Now, get that tie straightened out,] Shizune added. [Honestly, sometimes I think I would've needed to marry you anyway,] she said, as Hisao applied the finishing touches. [You'd fall apart without me.]
Suddenly, Hisao kissed her once again, and unlike the quick peck on the lips they shared moments before, this one was deep, yet tender, one's warmth flowing into the other's body and back again as they pressed themselves against each other. When they finally parted, their faces were flush, as their quickened blood flow rushed to distribute the air their heavy breathing was taking in.
[...Well, that was unexpected,] Shizune signed, her hands trembling slightly, partly out of slight shock, partly because she was still being held by Hisao, partly because she found herself once more entranced by how easily she got lost in his eyes (though I'd be a cold day in hell before she'd admit it). [Where did THAT come from?]
[Said break without you,] Hisao replied with one hand. [You right.]
[Again, of course,] she said, the look on her face oozing 'smugly romantic'. [I'd have thought you would be used to it by now. And speaking of 'now', we had best be going before we end up ruining my dress. That can wait until after we get home.]
[So, who'll drive?] Hisao asked as they left the room. When they were awarded their scholarships, Hisao's parents decided to award him with a car. True, it wasn't a top of the line Ferrari or anything, but the Honda was reliable enough, and necessary for their studies, considering how far from home the two of them would be. That said...
[Hey, you can't call heads!] Hisao said when Shizune immediately tapped the face of the coin upon bringing it out. [The flipper doesn't call!]
[All right then, you flip the coin,] Shizune said after pressing the coin into Hisao's hand. [I'll call whatever side's facing up. On a completely unrelated note, did you know that a coin flip is more likely to land with the same side facing up as when it started? I think you did.]
Hisao have a guilty start. [It's only a difference of 2 percent,] he said with a guilty grin.
[Right,] Shizune smirked sarcastically. [And that's why the steering wheel's practically imprinted with your fingerprints. Flip... Ah, what a coincidence! I win!]
"It was bought for me," Hisao mumbled as he gave Shizune the keys.
[What was that? I didn't quite catch what you said,] Shizune smirked, heading off to the car. [Too busy planning the route I'm going to drive.]
Pulling out of the driveway, Hisao gave a glance out the window to the house they shared. Where his parents bought him a car, Jigoro pulled a few strings (and perhaps a few limbs out of their sockets) to get Shizune a small place. Like the Honda, it was functional enough, and suited both Shizune and Hisao just fine. If anything, the small, cozy place had brought the two of them closer together, both literally and otherwise- hence the proposal Hisao made at the dinner table just a week before, only to be confronted by an equally furiously-blushing Shizune holding up a small box of her own.
And so it was with (only semi-serious) hopes that if Jigoro killed him, Shizune would at least be able to return the ring for a refund that Hisao helped his fiancée from the car and to the restaurant. It was an upper-class establishment, and while it definitely cut into their budget, both of them chose the place in the hopes that Jigoro would be able to restrain himself in such an environment.
Fat chance.
"Where's the kid who's sleeping with my daughter?!" echoed through the dining room around 15 minutes after Shizune and Hisao had settled in.
[The full Jigoro package, I expect,] Shizune signed resignedly after seeing Hisao slump into and try to merge with his chair. A miserable Hisao could only nod, as Chapter 2 of Jigoro's Big Dinnertime Adventure began.
"The hell do you mean I can't bring the sword in?!" he thundered at the cowering waiter. "This sword's been in the family for generations, and you're telling me I can't bring it in?! You sir, are a disgrace to the whole art of fine dining! And speaking of disgraces to art, who the hell designed your penguin suit?!"
Hisao could only hope that Jigoro would somehow fail to notice them, and next time they could probably send him a postcard or something, but it was not meant to be. It was with a sinking feeling that Hisao's bad luck found him locking gazes with Jigoro, whose eyes narrowed as they found their target.
"YOU." Jigoro snarled as he pushed past the waiter to their table. Hisao was sure he would be decapitated on the spot if it were not for Shizune aiming a preemptive glare at her father. "Pfft, whatever," he growled, glaring at the third chair at the table. "The hell is this? Rattan?"
"It is an Indonesian restaurant, sir," Hisao. "It's there for ambience."
"Did I ask for your opinion, Nakai? No, I didn't, because it's objectively worthless. And what kind of New Age, patchouli-smelling hippe uses words like 'ambience' anyway? You two stay here, I'm going to get myself a real chair," Jigoro snarled as he stormed off to the lounge area.
[Well, that went well,] Shizune sighed, before looking up at Hisao with a sympathetic look. [If you want to call this dinner off, I wouldn't mind.]
HIsao shook his head. [Not a chance, Shizune. I don't know about you, but if there's one thing I think Jigoro and I would agree about you, is that a lady like you doesn't deserve to marry a quitter. As long as I live through tonight, it'll be gold. Like you said, if he doesn't approve, we'll get married anyway.]
[Damn straight,] Shizune nodded determinedly, before leaning back in relief. [Love you.]
{Yeah, I love me too,] Hisao joked back, and was rewarded with a quiet laugh in response. Hisao then turned to the patron next to him. "I'm really sorry about this, sir."
"Oh no, considering the situation, I'm sorry for you."
"Tell me about it," Hisao sighed, seeing Jigoro return, a sofa seat being carried on the backs of a few suffering servants. Judging by the way they were dressed, they must have been the lounge's performers.
"Yeah, just put it down there. And don't look at me like that- you're paid more than enough. And besides, it's not as if you spend it on clothes. Seriously, is that dental floss you're wearing?" he told them as they stormed off. "Right, now that we're here, let's see if the food's as bad as the service," he said, picking up the menu. "Rabbit food, rabbit food, what looks like rabbit crap, rabbit food- dammit, where's the real people food?!"
Hisao sighed. [It's going to be a loooong night.]
[You're the one who didn't want to quit.]
[That's me, Hisao Nakai, master of getting in over his head. After proposing to you, I thought my luck would hold up a second time.]
"Hey, hey! None of that creepy sign language crap in front of the normals!" Jigoro interrupted, before snapping his fingers in the air. "Waiter! Get me a bottle of whiskey!"
Yep. Long night.
Or rather, it would have been, had the police not arrived. Though charges were not pressed (thanks to the manager simply wanting Jigoro out ASAP, Jigoro apparently having the local Chief of Police on speed-dial, and Hisao's fervent apologies), Jigoro still threatened to sue the hell out of the restaurant for a terrible dining experience (Earlier: "The hell do you mean, you don't have whiskey?! Indonesia's a Muslim country! They love alcohol- it's not like they have water in the desert!") and the police for obstruction of justice.
[Obstruction of WHAT?!] Shizune signed incredulously, as Jigoro drove them home. Hisao was grateful for the ooportunity to recap, as it distracted him from Jigoro's endless tirade on the 'mobile scrap heap your deadbeat parents jacked from a nice neighbourhood'. [Wait, does this have anything to do with that officer asking me if I was there of my own free will?] she asked. Hisao would have translated to her then, but he was too busy trying not to get arrested.
Hisao's face fell, and judging by the way Shizune's followed his, that was all the answer she needed. [I'm sorry, Hisao. I didn't know he'd be like this- he's usually more restrained in public.]
Hisao shrugged. [He'd losing his daughter. If he's feeling anything like how I'd feel about losing you- well, I can understand.]
"Hey, what did I say about signing in front of the normals?!"
Hisao was about to reply, when Shizune placed a finger on his lips. Her sole response was a glare aimed at the rear-view mirror that immediately shut Jigoro up- relatively speaking. Instead of his loud rant on Hisao's car and ancestry, he was now reduced to a sputtering, mumbling rage about playing shady cab driver to horny kids.
[Damn, wish I could do that,] Hisao said in awed admiration.
[Don't. I only reserve that glare for people who piss me off.]
[Considering how amazing you look when you do that, all you're doing is giving me license to screw up.]
Shizune tried to glare at him then, but couldn't quite manage, and settled for an exasperated sigh. [Oh well, at least we've saved a little money on dining expenses,] she said, as they pulled into their house.
"Look at this place," she sighed/snarled. "If I knew just how much space you wasted, I'd have bought a bigger house."
"I'd appreciate that, actually," Hisao said, signing away as he stepped out of the car. "Give me a place to put all my sweatervests."
"Don't you get smart around me, Nakai."
"I don't know- I just think it's about time someone kept up with Shizune," Hisao replied calmly, looking Jigoro straight in the eye.
For his part, Jigoro's eyes narrowed into slits. "You insulting me, boy?"
Hisao knew he was living dangerously, but he couldn't resist. "Maybe. Why don't you sleep on it, figure it out in the morning?"
A slight click, that's all it was, but Shizune would later swear that even she heard the sound of her father's thumb pushing the katana out of its scabbard. "Have some respect for your elders, boy."
At first, Hisao thought about backing down. Jigoro didn't look like he was kidding with that sword- but Hisao knew he couldn't back down now. Shizune was going to kick his ass for this if he lived, but this was something he had to do. "Come on," he sneered. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jiggy, you're not that old."
"The hell did you call me?!"
A loud slam made the two of them jump slightly. Shizune was glaring at them, but Hisao saw an undercurrent of fear that she was trying to hide with anger. Did Jigoro see it too? [That's enough!] she signed to Hisao. To her father, another glare, followed by her pointing to the sword, and making a sweeping sideways karate chop motion. Did he understand that?
Apparently he did, but even so, "This'll have to be one of the few times I'm gonna have to disobey Shizune. And do you know why? Because I don't think you're good enough for her, and let's be honest, you're not. Just some middle-class shit with a broken heart, boo-fucking-hoo. Shizune told me you want to become a teacher. A teacher! You know what they say about teachers? 'Those who can't do, teach'! And that's just not good enough for my daughter!"
"So? Who the hell are you to decide who your daughter can or cannot marry?"
"I'm her fucking father, boy!"
"And I'm the guy she could've said no to. She made that choice, not me. Next question, please."
Jigoro glared at Hisao, then sneered. "Brave words coming from someone who just pissed his pants."
Damn. Hisao had hoped Jigoro wouldn't notice that. "Big words, coming from someone built like a brick shithouse- and about half as smart- aiming to cut down an unarmed kid," Hisao replied. The hurried beating of his heart was tempered by the sight of the range of expressions and colours Jigoro's face went through would have shamed Rin's artwork.
"Don't you talk back to me, boy!"
"Someone has to- it's not like you'd listen to your daughter," Hisao replied, breathing calmly, fighting to keep his voice under control. Surprisingly, despite the fear making him piss his pants, it wasn't enough to drive his heart crazy. Indeed, now that Hisao had evacuated his bladder, he felt a strange sense of calm overtake him. He wasn't afraid of dying anymore, wasn't afraid of Jigoro- if anything, he felt that if he didn't prove himself now, if he didn't take a stand for himself, he might as well let Jigoro cut him down now.
"She can't talk!"
"She can- you simply wouldn't listen."
"What kind of fortune-cookie crap is that?!"
"Reality dumbed down for your benefit."
The three of them stood in silence for a few moments. Neither Shizune or Hisao were willing to make a move, for fear of setting Jigoro off- when the older man let the sword fall back into the scabbard. And laughed. But what really caused Hisao's jaw to drop was what happened next.
[Hell of a boyfriend you've got there, Shizune,] Jigoro signed.
For her part, Shizune didn't reply. Instead, she walked over to her father, drew her hand back and slapped him in the face in one smooth, strong motion. Maybe it was the surprise, or maybe she really was that strong, but Jigoro staggered back like he was hit by a prizefighter. [Get. Out.] she signed. The look she gave her father wasn't the hot 'angry look' she gave him earlier. This was pure fury and disappointment combined, and Hisao prayed that he'd never have to experience having that look directed at him.
[Come on, Shizune, I was-]
Another lightning-fast backhand shut Jigoro up again. [I thought you were going to kill him. For all I know, you were. It doesn't matter. You threatened the man I love- how did you think I would react?]
[Shut up. Nothing you could say would excuse your behaviour. I am afraid you overstayed your welcome.}
"I am your father!" Jigoro blurted.
Shizune didn't respond, but turned to Hisao, who hurriedly signed what Jigoro said. [Yes, you are. I will work out a proper payment plan to repay the financial costs of raising me, as well as getting us this house. Goodbye.]
Jigoro raised his hands up to sign something, but thought better of it. Hisao didn't even step aside when Jigoro walked past him, so broken did he seem. He turned and watched Shizune's father stride off into the night. As he turned back, he found Shizune approaching him and placing her arms on his shoulders. [Well,] he signed. [Guess I'm going to ruin your dress after all,] he said, pointing to the dark patch on his pants.
[Don't worry,] Shizune replied. [I've got payback right here,] she added before she pulled Hisao into a tight embrace and began sobbing quietly into his chest.
* * *
It was a few days later when Hisao found himself waiting at a park bench, staring off at the lake in front of him. Shizune had not approved of this to say the least, but something about Jigoro's voice on the phone convinced Hisao that he wouldn't be in any danger. As Hisao turned to the sound of approaching footsteps, he saw that Jigoro was, to his surprise, dressed quite conservatively. Gone was the Hawaiian shirt that was somehow louder than he was, as well as the katana; a polo shirt and some loose-fitting jeans made him look almost normal.
He sat down next to Hisao, leaned back, and looked across the lake. Seeing as Jigoro wasn't in the mood to speak yet, Hisao decided to follow his future father-in-law's example. After a few minutes, Jigoro made the first move.
"A man who doesn't piss himself when he's in danger, that man's thicker than a sack of walls, and Shizune's way too smart to fall for a moron. A man who pisses himself and backs down, that man's a coward, and there's no way this side of hell am I letting my little girl marry a coward."
He sighs. "You? You pissed yourself, literally- and stood your ground. Not a lot of people like that around, let me tell you."
"Gee, thanks," Hisao says, realizing a moment later that it came out meaner, more confrontational than he meant.
But Jigoro doesn't pick up on it, or if he did, doesn't mind. "You're welcome."
"So what, you were testing me last night?"
"Had to. Shizune loves you, had no choice. You two have desperation sex after I left?"
Ah, there was the Jigoro Hisao knew. In any case, he was mentally prepared for something like this. "Nope. Went straight to bed."
Jigoro considered Hisao a minute. "Face like that's meant for poker. Anyway, I hope you're lying; desperation sex is the best sex. Even better than angry sex. Angry sex is just another way of continuing the argument; all you have is two people trying to break each others' bones. Desperation sex though? That's when you try to feel alive, and when you're done, that feeling you get? That feeling of -knowing- you're still alive? That's the best thing."
"You seem to know a lot about this kind of thing," Hisao deadpanned.
Jigoro didn't reply for a moment. "I was in the Yakuza, you know?"
Hisao's heart jumped a little, but only a little. "Explains the sword- to be honest, it explains a lot of things besides," he replied calmly. "You said 'was'?"
Jigoro nodded. "Marriage was tough. Lot of angry and desperation sex back then. Eventually, I had to make a choice- the family, or my family."
"What, just like that?" Hisao asked, curious despite himself.
"Well, there were a few spirited discussions, but after I assured the survivors I wouldn't go to the police, things quieted down a bit. I'm a lot of things, Hisao, but I never go back on my word."
"You have the police chief on speed dial, though."
"Every man has skeletons in the closet. Some I helped put there. Anyway, that's beside the point- point is, love does funny things to you."
His eyes grew distant, wistful. "You know what postpartum depression us, Hisao? Seems like after a woman's had a kid, they get all depressed. Hormones and shit, I don't know. Truth is, I'm afraid of knowing- maybe I had something to do with it, you know? Anyway, after Hideaki was born, my wife... seemed to break down, I don't know."
He paused for a moment. "Mayoi was the strongest person I knew, you know? Anyone could've done my job, putting the hurt on. That's easy. Taking the hurt, though? Suffering for other people? That takes balls, and she had bigger balls than I did. Figuratively speaking, I'm not into freaks."
"Suffering for other people?" Hisao asked, ignoring that last part.
"She was a social worker," Jigoro said, before letting out a short laugh. "You know, the day we met, I was supposed to put the fear of my group into her and her people; couldn't have people going around, encouraging our customers to stop taking drugs, that kind of thing."
He turned to Hisao. "I grew up in that kind of place; a career with the Yakuza was all I could hope for. Changing things? Too hard, a dream for idiots. But Mayoi? She took it on. Took the whole fucking world on her shoulders. She didn't have to, you know; her side of the family, Lily's family, they had cash to spare, but she didn't take any of it. Said she couldn't take living with her family's money when there were people out there who needed help."
The laughter died down. "That's why I thought she had things under control. I mean, we had Shizune and Hideaki to take care of, and I was trying to work a 9-5 while trying to kick a drug habit, so she was the rock of the house. Maybe... maybe it was the stress getting to her, maybe it was the depression, maybe it was both."
Silence again, an uncomfortable quietness where Hisao felt like an intruder. Jigoro was back to staring across the lake when he continued. "I came back one day, and the kids were crying. Going cold turkey wasn't really helping, and I don't know how I managed to keep from thrashing them quiet. Oh, don't look at me like that!" he said, to Hisao's horrified look. "I have not beaten my kids in my life; only deadbeat dads do that, and I'm no fucking deadbeat. Anyway, they were crying, and I went up to see what the fuck they were crying about. Was gonna take away Shizune's crayons and Hideaki's storybooks for pissing me off- but then I saw Mayoi on the bed."
His eyes began tearing up as he continued. "She looked so peaceful. Even now, I still don't know what happened to her. She just... went to sleep, and didn't wake up. Like her heart just stopped," he said, and Hisao unconciously rubbed his chest. "If only she said something, I could- I could have..."
Jigoro's eyes narrowed then, hardening into two dagger-like mirrors. "Well, if life was going to give me lemons, I was going to strap life down, and squeeze those lemons' juice right into life's eyes. Apologized at her grave, and went on my hands and knees, begging the Satous for money. First and last time I did that," he added, fire reflected in those daggers. "Used that money to start up my own business. I won't lie, things were rocky at the time, but I managed to get things going. I had a thing for business, who knew? Not a lot of difference from Yakuza work, and about half as honest. Hell, most of my first customers, and a lot of my currrent ones were my contacts from the old days."
He turned to Hisao again. "That's my life story done, now let me tell you about where Shizune fits in with all of us. See, it was hard enough when we found out she was deaf-mute, but after her mother passed, I was twice as determined to make sure she could handle herself. I couldn't be around all the time, so I-"
"Was as much an asshole to her as you were to me? To everyone around you?" Hisao interrupted. "I remember you telling me that you had her put in classes to speak, to make her 'normal'," he added. Though his voice and manner were calm, not even Shizune would have missed the angry undertones.
"Damn right I was an asshole to her! She's deaf and mute! I knew that if I didn't do my best to toughen her up, the world would break her anyway- play her for a fool!"
His face then softened as he turned away. "I knew it all worked out when she signed up for the speech lessons."
"Wh... what?"
"That's right, those were all her idea," Jigoro grinned, and Hisao raised an eyebrow. "I pulled her out of the classes; for all that she tried, she couldn't help sounding retarded when she tried to talk- no sense of volume control, see."
"But back then, you-"
"Of course I said I was responsible! You came in with your smug face and sweatervest, how could any man think you were good enough for his daughter?! I wanted to get you good and pissed, I wanted you to fight for my daughter's honour! We could've had this conversation years ago, but you backed off!"
"I was trying to be polite!"
"Tough shit boy, the world doesn't work that way," Jigoro said, turning away to the lake. "Relax, I understand, and I'm still giving you my blessing for the wedding, it's just that- well, you know Lily, right?"
"Yes...?" Hisao replied.
"She was born blind. That's it. Blind. People don't need an interpreter, or to know a whole new language to fucking communicate with her. And yet, her father treated her like a disgrace. Would have left her with a nanny and never came back if it weren't for Akira fighting him tooth and nail to stay and take care of her sister. Honestly, I wish I could adopt those two, but if I said one cross word to Lily, Akira would kick my ass from here to China. Anyway, their father's a damn asshole, I swore to never be like him. No matter what comes, I'll be there for my Shizune and Hideaki until the day I bite it."
"Is that why you thought I needed to be tested? So you can feel safe leaving Shizune with another man?" Hisao asked.
"No... see, love, Hisao... love does strange things to a person," Jigoro answered. "To be honest, if Shizune was after your dick or your wallet, I wouldn't give a fuck about you. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and if she wants a man for an accessory, well, she's old enough. But..."
Another sigh, and suddenly, Jigoro looks his age, all 50-odd years of it. "She's in love with you, Hisao. Heart and soul, just like I was with her mother. Shit, just like I -am-. And I know about your heart condition, Hisao, and the thought of you dying? No offence, but while I don't care about you that much, it scares me to know that my Shizune might have to go through that one day."
"And look what happened to you," Hisao said.
"What?"
"Could you have done all you have done, if she wasn't there for you? Even after she passed away, the hold she had on you, it kept you going, didn't it? And Shizune and Hideaki, you wouldn't have abandoned them like Mr. Satou did to Lily, would you?"
"Hell no! And if you're implying I would've, let me remind you I can still-"
"Tell me, Jigoro," Hisao interrupted with ruthless determination. "If you could change everything, would you give up the few years you had with your wife?"
"...what?" Jigoro asked quietly, his face in shock.
"Just like I asked, Jigoro. All these years of pain after she passed away- were they worth it, Jigoro?"
Hisao turned his gaze from Jigoro. "I don't know about Shizune, but if she were to pass away tomorrow, and some genie or wizard or God or whoever asked me that question, I'd still say I'd rather live with the pain. And do you know why? It's because I love her, and the thought of having never felt about her the way I do now? Scares the hell out of me, Jigoro."
"...you ought to write fortune cookies, Hisao. That's not an insult, by the way. Shit like that? Gets people thinking. Better than the bullshit they put in them these days."
"You still haven't answered the question, Jigoro."
Jigoro didn't reply at first, instead burying his face in his hands. His shoulders started shaking, and for a moment, Hisao thought Jigoro was laughing. But when the older man brought his face up, it was streaked with tears. "Not a chance, Hisao. Not a fucking chance I'd give up what I had with Mayoi just because what came after hurt too bad."
Hisao nodded. "Have faith in your daughter, Jigoro. Odds are, she's a whole lot stronger than either of us think."
"Wouldn't surprise me," Jigoro replied, and they both laughed.
Suddenly, Hisao felt a massive arm on his shoulder that pulled him closer to Jigoro. "You know what? I really, really think you're all right, son. I might have to start giving a shit about you."
"I'll try to return the favour," Hisao replied.
"So...?"
"Huh?"
"That night. Desperation sex."
"...yeah."
"Knew it."
"Can we not talk about this, please? Especially with your arm around me?"
"You a faggot, Hisao?"
"No, but-"
"Then stop thinking faggot thoughts and enjoy the fucking sunset. Shit like this doesn't happen every day."
"Yes it does. It's a goddamn sunset."
"Shut the fuck up, son."
"Sure, dad."
"Good boy."
***
7 years later...
"Happy birthday to you!" / [Happy birthday to you!]
Little Keiko and Kyouko Nakai blew out the candles on their cake together. "You too, Grandpa! You too!"
"Damned right it's my turn!" Jigoro grinned, then scowled as his cake was brought in. "What the he- heck is this sh- crap?! What's with the six candles?!"
[Let me guess,] Shizune said. [You're complaining about the candles.]
[Yes he is, mom!] her twins signed in unison, giggling all the while.
[What's wrong with sixty candles?! This is cow pudding!]
"Eeeew, Grandpa signed a bad word!"
"Jigoro!"
"Shut it, son," Jigoro scowled. "You're beginning to sound like -your- mother."
"As well he should," Hisao's mother said from next to him. "Now blow out the candles, before my son wears his hands out signing all your complaints."
"Pah! Very well, here goes!" Jigoro replied, taking a deep breath.
[Two tries.]
[Have some confidence in your father! I say he does it in one go!]
[Deal. Second slice of cake to the winner.]
"WILL YOU TWO STOP THAT?!"
And laughter (along with some pretend-angry muttering) echoes through the house, as one family watches an old man pass his test.
Hisao tugged at his tie and sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. "God, if You're listening, then please, please let this go well," he mumbled as he fixed the offending article. "And if that's too much to ask, then could I at least live through this whole thing?"
A tapping from his right drew his attention to the young lady in the dark blue, bare-shouldered evening dress rapping her knuckles on the cupboard. [Sorry to interrupt], Shizune signed. [Is something wrong? I saw you saying something; with that look on your face, it couldn't have been good.]
[No, no,] Hisao replied. [Just a little nervous, is all. I mean, your dad does have a katana.]
[Which he hardly ever uses,] Shizune pointed out.
[Hardly?]
Shizune grinned and took Hisao into her arms. Hisao reciprocated, and added a kiss besides. Shizune was the first to let go, and only reluctantly because she needed to speak. [Hardly. And don't be so nervous!] she added, with a withering smile. [He'll accept our engagement whether he likes it or not,] she signed, the look she gave him tinged with finality.
Hisao grinned as he let her go. [Well, someone's confident,] he replied.
[Of course. You'll never get anything done otherwise,] she replied smugly. [Now, get that tie straightened out,] Shizune added. [Honestly, sometimes I think I would've needed to marry you anyway,] she said, as Hisao applied the finishing touches. [You'd fall apart without me.]
Suddenly, Hisao kissed her once again, and unlike the quick peck on the lips they shared moments before, this one was deep, yet tender, one's warmth flowing into the other's body and back again as they pressed themselves against each other. When they finally parted, their faces were flush, as their quickened blood flow rushed to distribute the air their heavy breathing was taking in.
[...Well, that was unexpected,] Shizune signed, her hands trembling slightly, partly out of slight shock, partly because she was still being held by Hisao, partly because she found herself once more entranced by how easily she got lost in his eyes (though I'd be a cold day in hell before she'd admit it). [Where did THAT come from?]
[Said break without you,] Hisao replied with one hand. [You right.]
[Again, of course,] she said, the look on her face oozing 'smugly romantic'. [I'd have thought you would be used to it by now. And speaking of 'now', we had best be going before we end up ruining my dress. That can wait until after we get home.]
[So, who'll drive?] Hisao asked as they left the room. When they were awarded their scholarships, Hisao's parents decided to award him with a car. True, it wasn't a top of the line Ferrari or anything, but the Honda was reliable enough, and necessary for their studies, considering how far from home the two of them would be. That said...
[Hey, you can't call heads!] Hisao said when Shizune immediately tapped the face of the coin upon bringing it out. [The flipper doesn't call!]
[All right then, you flip the coin,] Shizune said after pressing the coin into Hisao's hand. [I'll call whatever side's facing up. On a completely unrelated note, did you know that a coin flip is more likely to land with the same side facing up as when it started? I think you did.]
Hisao have a guilty start. [It's only a difference of 2 percent,] he said with a guilty grin.
[Right,] Shizune smirked sarcastically. [And that's why the steering wheel's practically imprinted with your fingerprints. Flip... Ah, what a coincidence! I win!]
"It was bought for me," Hisao mumbled as he gave Shizune the keys.
[What was that? I didn't quite catch what you said,] Shizune smirked, heading off to the car. [Too busy planning the route I'm going to drive.]
Pulling out of the driveway, Hisao gave a glance out the window to the house they shared. Where his parents bought him a car, Jigoro pulled a few strings (and perhaps a few limbs out of their sockets) to get Shizune a small place. Like the Honda, it was functional enough, and suited both Shizune and Hisao just fine. If anything, the small, cozy place had brought the two of them closer together, both literally and otherwise- hence the proposal Hisao made at the dinner table just a week before, only to be confronted by an equally furiously-blushing Shizune holding up a small box of her own.
And so it was with (only semi-serious) hopes that if Jigoro killed him, Shizune would at least be able to return the ring for a refund that Hisao helped his fiancée from the car and to the restaurant. It was an upper-class establishment, and while it definitely cut into their budget, both of them chose the place in the hopes that Jigoro would be able to restrain himself in such an environment.
Fat chance.
"Where's the kid who's sleeping with my daughter?!" echoed through the dining room around 15 minutes after Shizune and Hisao had settled in.
[The full Jigoro package, I expect,] Shizune signed resignedly after seeing Hisao slump into and try to merge with his chair. A miserable Hisao could only nod, as Chapter 2 of Jigoro's Big Dinnertime Adventure began.
"The hell do you mean I can't bring the sword in?!" he thundered at the cowering waiter. "This sword's been in the family for generations, and you're telling me I can't bring it in?! You sir, are a disgrace to the whole art of fine dining! And speaking of disgraces to art, who the hell designed your penguin suit?!"
Hisao could only hope that Jigoro would somehow fail to notice them, and next time they could probably send him a postcard or something, but it was not meant to be. It was with a sinking feeling that Hisao's bad luck found him locking gazes with Jigoro, whose eyes narrowed as they found their target.
"YOU." Jigoro snarled as he pushed past the waiter to their table. Hisao was sure he would be decapitated on the spot if it were not for Shizune aiming a preemptive glare at her father. "Pfft, whatever," he growled, glaring at the third chair at the table. "The hell is this? Rattan?"
"It is an Indonesian restaurant, sir," Hisao. "It's there for ambience."
"Did I ask for your opinion, Nakai? No, I didn't, because it's objectively worthless. And what kind of New Age, patchouli-smelling hippe uses words like 'ambience' anyway? You two stay here, I'm going to get myself a real chair," Jigoro snarled as he stormed off to the lounge area.
[Well, that went well,] Shizune sighed, before looking up at Hisao with a sympathetic look. [If you want to call this dinner off, I wouldn't mind.]
HIsao shook his head. [Not a chance, Shizune. I don't know about you, but if there's one thing I think Jigoro and I would agree about you, is that a lady like you doesn't deserve to marry a quitter. As long as I live through tonight, it'll be gold. Like you said, if he doesn't approve, we'll get married anyway.]
[Damn straight,] Shizune nodded determinedly, before leaning back in relief. [Love you.]
{Yeah, I love me too,] Hisao joked back, and was rewarded with a quiet laugh in response. Hisao then turned to the patron next to him. "I'm really sorry about this, sir."
"Oh no, considering the situation, I'm sorry for you."
"Tell me about it," Hisao sighed, seeing Jigoro return, a sofa seat being carried on the backs of a few suffering servants. Judging by the way they were dressed, they must have been the lounge's performers.
"Yeah, just put it down there. And don't look at me like that- you're paid more than enough. And besides, it's not as if you spend it on clothes. Seriously, is that dental floss you're wearing?" he told them as they stormed off. "Right, now that we're here, let's see if the food's as bad as the service," he said, picking up the menu. "Rabbit food, rabbit food, what looks like rabbit crap, rabbit food- dammit, where's the real people food?!"
Hisao sighed. [It's going to be a loooong night.]
[You're the one who didn't want to quit.]
[That's me, Hisao Nakai, master of getting in over his head. After proposing to you, I thought my luck would hold up a second time.]
"Hey, hey! None of that creepy sign language crap in front of the normals!" Jigoro interrupted, before snapping his fingers in the air. "Waiter! Get me a bottle of whiskey!"
Yep. Long night.
Or rather, it would have been, had the police not arrived. Though charges were not pressed (thanks to the manager simply wanting Jigoro out ASAP, Jigoro apparently having the local Chief of Police on speed-dial, and Hisao's fervent apologies), Jigoro still threatened to sue the hell out of the restaurant for a terrible dining experience (Earlier: "The hell do you mean, you don't have whiskey?! Indonesia's a Muslim country! They love alcohol- it's not like they have water in the desert!") and the police for obstruction of justice.
[Obstruction of WHAT?!] Shizune signed incredulously, as Jigoro drove them home. Hisao was grateful for the ooportunity to recap, as it distracted him from Jigoro's endless tirade on the 'mobile scrap heap your deadbeat parents jacked from a nice neighbourhood'. [Wait, does this have anything to do with that officer asking me if I was there of my own free will?] she asked. Hisao would have translated to her then, but he was too busy trying not to get arrested.
Hisao's face fell, and judging by the way Shizune's followed his, that was all the answer she needed. [I'm sorry, Hisao. I didn't know he'd be like this- he's usually more restrained in public.]
Hisao shrugged. [He'd losing his daughter. If he's feeling anything like how I'd feel about losing you- well, I can understand.]
"Hey, what did I say about signing in front of the normals?!"
Hisao was about to reply, when Shizune placed a finger on his lips. Her sole response was a glare aimed at the rear-view mirror that immediately shut Jigoro up- relatively speaking. Instead of his loud rant on Hisao's car and ancestry, he was now reduced to a sputtering, mumbling rage about playing shady cab driver to horny kids.
[Damn, wish I could do that,] Hisao said in awed admiration.
[Don't. I only reserve that glare for people who piss me off.]
[Considering how amazing you look when you do that, all you're doing is giving me license to screw up.]
Shizune tried to glare at him then, but couldn't quite manage, and settled for an exasperated sigh. [Oh well, at least we've saved a little money on dining expenses,] she said, as they pulled into their house.
"Look at this place," she sighed/snarled. "If I knew just how much space you wasted, I'd have bought a bigger house."
"I'd appreciate that, actually," Hisao said, signing away as he stepped out of the car. "Give me a place to put all my sweatervests."
"Don't you get smart around me, Nakai."
"I don't know- I just think it's about time someone kept up with Shizune," Hisao replied calmly, looking Jigoro straight in the eye.
For his part, Jigoro's eyes narrowed into slits. "You insulting me, boy?"
Hisao knew he was living dangerously, but he couldn't resist. "Maybe. Why don't you sleep on it, figure it out in the morning?"
A slight click, that's all it was, but Shizune would later swear that even she heard the sound of her father's thumb pushing the katana out of its scabbard. "Have some respect for your elders, boy."
At first, Hisao thought about backing down. Jigoro didn't look like he was kidding with that sword- but Hisao knew he couldn't back down now. Shizune was going to kick his ass for this if he lived, but this was something he had to do. "Come on," he sneered. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jiggy, you're not that old."
"The hell did you call me?!"
A loud slam made the two of them jump slightly. Shizune was glaring at them, but Hisao saw an undercurrent of fear that she was trying to hide with anger. Did Jigoro see it too? [That's enough!] she signed to Hisao. To her father, another glare, followed by her pointing to the sword, and making a sweeping sideways karate chop motion. Did he understand that?
Apparently he did, but even so, "This'll have to be one of the few times I'm gonna have to disobey Shizune. And do you know why? Because I don't think you're good enough for her, and let's be honest, you're not. Just some middle-class shit with a broken heart, boo-fucking-hoo. Shizune told me you want to become a teacher. A teacher! You know what they say about teachers? 'Those who can't do, teach'! And that's just not good enough for my daughter!"
"So? Who the hell are you to decide who your daughter can or cannot marry?"
"I'm her fucking father, boy!"
"And I'm the guy she could've said no to. She made that choice, not me. Next question, please."
Jigoro glared at Hisao, then sneered. "Brave words coming from someone who just pissed his pants."
Damn. Hisao had hoped Jigoro wouldn't notice that. "Big words, coming from someone built like a brick shithouse- and about half as smart- aiming to cut down an unarmed kid," Hisao replied. The hurried beating of his heart was tempered by the sight of the range of expressions and colours Jigoro's face went through would have shamed Rin's artwork.
"Don't you talk back to me, boy!"
"Someone has to- it's not like you'd listen to your daughter," Hisao replied, breathing calmly, fighting to keep his voice under control. Surprisingly, despite the fear making him piss his pants, it wasn't enough to drive his heart crazy. Indeed, now that Hisao had evacuated his bladder, he felt a strange sense of calm overtake him. He wasn't afraid of dying anymore, wasn't afraid of Jigoro- if anything, he felt that if he didn't prove himself now, if he didn't take a stand for himself, he might as well let Jigoro cut him down now.
"She can't talk!"
"She can- you simply wouldn't listen."
"What kind of fortune-cookie crap is that?!"
"Reality dumbed down for your benefit."
The three of them stood in silence for a few moments. Neither Shizune or Hisao were willing to make a move, for fear of setting Jigoro off- when the older man let the sword fall back into the scabbard. And laughed. But what really caused Hisao's jaw to drop was what happened next.
[Hell of a boyfriend you've got there, Shizune,] Jigoro signed.
For her part, Shizune didn't reply. Instead, she walked over to her father, drew her hand back and slapped him in the face in one smooth, strong motion. Maybe it was the surprise, or maybe she really was that strong, but Jigoro staggered back like he was hit by a prizefighter. [Get. Out.] she signed. The look she gave her father wasn't the hot 'angry look' she gave him earlier. This was pure fury and disappointment combined, and Hisao prayed that he'd never have to experience having that look directed at him.
[Come on, Shizune, I was-]
Another lightning-fast backhand shut Jigoro up again. [I thought you were going to kill him. For all I know, you were. It doesn't matter. You threatened the man I love- how did you think I would react?]
[Shut up. Nothing you could say would excuse your behaviour. I am afraid you overstayed your welcome.}
"I am your father!" Jigoro blurted.
Shizune didn't respond, but turned to Hisao, who hurriedly signed what Jigoro said. [Yes, you are. I will work out a proper payment plan to repay the financial costs of raising me, as well as getting us this house. Goodbye.]
Jigoro raised his hands up to sign something, but thought better of it. Hisao didn't even step aside when Jigoro walked past him, so broken did he seem. He turned and watched Shizune's father stride off into the night. As he turned back, he found Shizune approaching him and placing her arms on his shoulders. [Well,] he signed. [Guess I'm going to ruin your dress after all,] he said, pointing to the dark patch on his pants.
[Don't worry,] Shizune replied. [I've got payback right here,] she added before she pulled Hisao into a tight embrace and began sobbing quietly into his chest.
* * *
It was a few days later when Hisao found himself waiting at a park bench, staring off at the lake in front of him. Shizune had not approved of this to say the least, but something about Jigoro's voice on the phone convinced Hisao that he wouldn't be in any danger. As Hisao turned to the sound of approaching footsteps, he saw that Jigoro was, to his surprise, dressed quite conservatively. Gone was the Hawaiian shirt that was somehow louder than he was, as well as the katana; a polo shirt and some loose-fitting jeans made him look almost normal.
He sat down next to Hisao, leaned back, and looked across the lake. Seeing as Jigoro wasn't in the mood to speak yet, Hisao decided to follow his future father-in-law's example. After a few minutes, Jigoro made the first move.
"A man who doesn't piss himself when he's in danger, that man's thicker than a sack of walls, and Shizune's way too smart to fall for a moron. A man who pisses himself and backs down, that man's a coward, and there's no way this side of hell am I letting my little girl marry a coward."
He sighs. "You? You pissed yourself, literally- and stood your ground. Not a lot of people like that around, let me tell you."
"Gee, thanks," Hisao says, realizing a moment later that it came out meaner, more confrontational than he meant.
But Jigoro doesn't pick up on it, or if he did, doesn't mind. "You're welcome."
"So what, you were testing me last night?"
"Had to. Shizune loves you, had no choice. You two have desperation sex after I left?"
Ah, there was the Jigoro Hisao knew. In any case, he was mentally prepared for something like this. "Nope. Went straight to bed."
Jigoro considered Hisao a minute. "Face like that's meant for poker. Anyway, I hope you're lying; desperation sex is the best sex. Even better than angry sex. Angry sex is just another way of continuing the argument; all you have is two people trying to break each others' bones. Desperation sex though? That's when you try to feel alive, and when you're done, that feeling you get? That feeling of -knowing- you're still alive? That's the best thing."
"You seem to know a lot about this kind of thing," Hisao deadpanned.
Jigoro didn't reply for a moment. "I was in the Yakuza, you know?"
Hisao's heart jumped a little, but only a little. "Explains the sword- to be honest, it explains a lot of things besides," he replied calmly. "You said 'was'?"
Jigoro nodded. "Marriage was tough. Lot of angry and desperation sex back then. Eventually, I had to make a choice- the family, or my family."
"What, just like that?" Hisao asked, curious despite himself.
"Well, there were a few spirited discussions, but after I assured the survivors I wouldn't go to the police, things quieted down a bit. I'm a lot of things, Hisao, but I never go back on my word."
"You have the police chief on speed dial, though."
"Every man has skeletons in the closet. Some I helped put there. Anyway, that's beside the point- point is, love does funny things to you."
His eyes grew distant, wistful. "You know what postpartum depression us, Hisao? Seems like after a woman's had a kid, they get all depressed. Hormones and shit, I don't know. Truth is, I'm afraid of knowing- maybe I had something to do with it, you know? Anyway, after Hideaki was born, my wife... seemed to break down, I don't know."
He paused for a moment. "Mayoi was the strongest person I knew, you know? Anyone could've done my job, putting the hurt on. That's easy. Taking the hurt, though? Suffering for other people? That takes balls, and she had bigger balls than I did. Figuratively speaking, I'm not into freaks."
"Suffering for other people?" Hisao asked, ignoring that last part.
"She was a social worker," Jigoro said, before letting out a short laugh. "You know, the day we met, I was supposed to put the fear of my group into her and her people; couldn't have people going around, encouraging our customers to stop taking drugs, that kind of thing."
He turned to Hisao. "I grew up in that kind of place; a career with the Yakuza was all I could hope for. Changing things? Too hard, a dream for idiots. But Mayoi? She took it on. Took the whole fucking world on her shoulders. She didn't have to, you know; her side of the family, Lily's family, they had cash to spare, but she didn't take any of it. Said she couldn't take living with her family's money when there were people out there who needed help."
The laughter died down. "That's why I thought she had things under control. I mean, we had Shizune and Hideaki to take care of, and I was trying to work a 9-5 while trying to kick a drug habit, so she was the rock of the house. Maybe... maybe it was the stress getting to her, maybe it was the depression, maybe it was both."
Silence again, an uncomfortable quietness where Hisao felt like an intruder. Jigoro was back to staring across the lake when he continued. "I came back one day, and the kids were crying. Going cold turkey wasn't really helping, and I don't know how I managed to keep from thrashing them quiet. Oh, don't look at me like that!" he said, to Hisao's horrified look. "I have not beaten my kids in my life; only deadbeat dads do that, and I'm no fucking deadbeat. Anyway, they were crying, and I went up to see what the fuck they were crying about. Was gonna take away Shizune's crayons and Hideaki's storybooks for pissing me off- but then I saw Mayoi on the bed."
His eyes began tearing up as he continued. "She looked so peaceful. Even now, I still don't know what happened to her. She just... went to sleep, and didn't wake up. Like her heart just stopped," he said, and Hisao unconciously rubbed his chest. "If only she said something, I could- I could have..."
Jigoro's eyes narrowed then, hardening into two dagger-like mirrors. "Well, if life was going to give me lemons, I was going to strap life down, and squeeze those lemons' juice right into life's eyes. Apologized at her grave, and went on my hands and knees, begging the Satous for money. First and last time I did that," he added, fire reflected in those daggers. "Used that money to start up my own business. I won't lie, things were rocky at the time, but I managed to get things going. I had a thing for business, who knew? Not a lot of difference from Yakuza work, and about half as honest. Hell, most of my first customers, and a lot of my currrent ones were my contacts from the old days."
He turned to Hisao again. "That's my life story done, now let me tell you about where Shizune fits in with all of us. See, it was hard enough when we found out she was deaf-mute, but after her mother passed, I was twice as determined to make sure she could handle herself. I couldn't be around all the time, so I-"
"Was as much an asshole to her as you were to me? To everyone around you?" Hisao interrupted. "I remember you telling me that you had her put in classes to speak, to make her 'normal'," he added. Though his voice and manner were calm, not even Shizune would have missed the angry undertones.
"Damn right I was an asshole to her! She's deaf and mute! I knew that if I didn't do my best to toughen her up, the world would break her anyway- play her for a fool!"
His face then softened as he turned away. "I knew it all worked out when she signed up for the speech lessons."
"Wh... what?"
"That's right, those were all her idea," Jigoro grinned, and Hisao raised an eyebrow. "I pulled her out of the classes; for all that she tried, she couldn't help sounding retarded when she tried to talk- no sense of volume control, see."
"But back then, you-"
"Of course I said I was responsible! You came in with your smug face and sweatervest, how could any man think you were good enough for his daughter?! I wanted to get you good and pissed, I wanted you to fight for my daughter's honour! We could've had this conversation years ago, but you backed off!"
"I was trying to be polite!"
"Tough shit boy, the world doesn't work that way," Jigoro said, turning away to the lake. "Relax, I understand, and I'm still giving you my blessing for the wedding, it's just that- well, you know Lily, right?"
"Yes...?" Hisao replied.
"She was born blind. That's it. Blind. People don't need an interpreter, or to know a whole new language to fucking communicate with her. And yet, her father treated her like a disgrace. Would have left her with a nanny and never came back if it weren't for Akira fighting him tooth and nail to stay and take care of her sister. Honestly, I wish I could adopt those two, but if I said one cross word to Lily, Akira would kick my ass from here to China. Anyway, their father's a damn asshole, I swore to never be like him. No matter what comes, I'll be there for my Shizune and Hideaki until the day I bite it."
"Is that why you thought I needed to be tested? So you can feel safe leaving Shizune with another man?" Hisao asked.
"No... see, love, Hisao... love does strange things to a person," Jigoro answered. "To be honest, if Shizune was after your dick or your wallet, I wouldn't give a fuck about you. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and if she wants a man for an accessory, well, she's old enough. But..."
Another sigh, and suddenly, Jigoro looks his age, all 50-odd years of it. "She's in love with you, Hisao. Heart and soul, just like I was with her mother. Shit, just like I -am-. And I know about your heart condition, Hisao, and the thought of you dying? No offence, but while I don't care about you that much, it scares me to know that my Shizune might have to go through that one day."
"And look what happened to you," Hisao said.
"What?"
"Could you have done all you have done, if she wasn't there for you? Even after she passed away, the hold she had on you, it kept you going, didn't it? And Shizune and Hideaki, you wouldn't have abandoned them like Mr. Satou did to Lily, would you?"
"Hell no! And if you're implying I would've, let me remind you I can still-"
"Tell me, Jigoro," Hisao interrupted with ruthless determination. "If you could change everything, would you give up the few years you had with your wife?"
"...what?" Jigoro asked quietly, his face in shock.
"Just like I asked, Jigoro. All these years of pain after she passed away- were they worth it, Jigoro?"
Hisao turned his gaze from Jigoro. "I don't know about Shizune, but if she were to pass away tomorrow, and some genie or wizard or God or whoever asked me that question, I'd still say I'd rather live with the pain. And do you know why? It's because I love her, and the thought of having never felt about her the way I do now? Scares the hell out of me, Jigoro."
"...you ought to write fortune cookies, Hisao. That's not an insult, by the way. Shit like that? Gets people thinking. Better than the bullshit they put in them these days."
"You still haven't answered the question, Jigoro."
Jigoro didn't reply at first, instead burying his face in his hands. His shoulders started shaking, and for a moment, Hisao thought Jigoro was laughing. But when the older man brought his face up, it was streaked with tears. "Not a chance, Hisao. Not a fucking chance I'd give up what I had with Mayoi just because what came after hurt too bad."
Hisao nodded. "Have faith in your daughter, Jigoro. Odds are, she's a whole lot stronger than either of us think."
"Wouldn't surprise me," Jigoro replied, and they both laughed.
Suddenly, Hisao felt a massive arm on his shoulder that pulled him closer to Jigoro. "You know what? I really, really think you're all right, son. I might have to start giving a shit about you."
"I'll try to return the favour," Hisao replied.
"So...?"
"Huh?"
"That night. Desperation sex."
"...yeah."
"Knew it."
"Can we not talk about this, please? Especially with your arm around me?"
"You a faggot, Hisao?"
"No, but-"
"Then stop thinking faggot thoughts and enjoy the fucking sunset. Shit like this doesn't happen every day."
"Yes it does. It's a goddamn sunset."
"Shut the fuck up, son."
"Sure, dad."
"Good boy."
***
7 years later...
"Happy birthday to you!" / [Happy birthday to you!]
Little Keiko and Kyouko Nakai blew out the candles on their cake together. "You too, Grandpa! You too!"
"Damned right it's my turn!" Jigoro grinned, then scowled as his cake was brought in. "What the he- heck is this sh- crap?! What's with the six candles?!"
[Let me guess,] Shizune said. [You're complaining about the candles.]
[Yes he is, mom!] her twins signed in unison, giggling all the while.
[What's wrong with sixty candles?! This is cow pudding!]
"Eeeew, Grandpa signed a bad word!"
"Jigoro!"
"Shut it, son," Jigoro scowled. "You're beginning to sound like -your- mother."
"As well he should," Hisao's mother said from next to him. "Now blow out the candles, before my son wears his hands out signing all your complaints."
"Pah! Very well, here goes!" Jigoro replied, taking a deep breath.
[Two tries.]
[Have some confidence in your father! I say he does it in one go!]
[Deal. Second slice of cake to the winner.]
"WILL YOU TWO STOP THAT?!"
And laughter (along with some pretend-angry muttering) echoes through the house, as one family watches an old man pass his test.
If done right, it could even serve to throw off police investigations and the like, as well as win Jigoro some popular support (hmm, that gives me a few ideas- how do elections in Japan work?).
... Well Done. "sniff"