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I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:03 am
by HarvestmanMan
Rin was eating a bag of peanuts. She lifted her foot, put it into the bag, and pulled out a peanut between her toes. She gracefully lifted her foot to her mouth and ate the peanut, shell and all. She lifted her foot, put it into the bag, and pulled out a peanut between her toes. She gracefully lifted her foot to her mouth and ate the peanut, shell and all. She lifted her foot, put it into the bag, and pulled out a peanut between her toes. She gracefully lifted her foot to her mouth and ate the peanut, shell and all. She lifted her foot, put it into the bag, and pulled out a peanut between her toes. She gracefully lifted her foot to her mouth and ate the peanut, shell and all. She lifted her foot, put it into the bag, and pulled out a peanut between her toes. She gracefully lifted her foot to her mouth and ate her own toe! She quickly realized that, although it was salty and sort of crunchy, it was NOT a peanut and should not be treated as such. She shrugged generically.

Meanwhile, in the library, Yuuko was organizing the books. She suddenly heard footsteps, which caused her to stop what she was doing and look up for the source of the noise. She was astonished to see Emily Dickinson walking toward her. "I'm Nobody!" Yuuko was dumbfounded, and stammered, "Hi." Emily replied, "Are you--Nobody--too?" "No," Yuuko explained frantically. "I don't like being called that." "Then there's a pair of us!" Emily replied cheerfully. "Don't tell--they'd banish us, you know." "Banishy us to WHERE?" Yuuko exclaimed. "Oh, fuck if I know. I have to go write stuff about death now," Emily shouted exasperatedly.

In another room, the three fully functional teens in the school, those being Hanako, Misha, and Hisao, were gettin' jiggy wid it. Hanako turned on Jefferson Airplane for some reason and popped an assortment of pills into Hisao's mouth. "One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small..." Grace Slick sang. Hisao noticed that he had taken about four of each, involuntarily. "And the ones that Hanako gives you don't do anything at all..." Hisao quickly recognized this as utter bullshit of the highest degree. "Go ask Misha, when she's ten feet tall." Again, Hisao noticed the dubious veracity of this statement, as Misha was clearly three times that amount at the very least.

As if someone had flipped a switch, Bugs Bunny replaced Misha, and Daffy Duck replaced Hanako. "Wabbit season!" shouted Hanako. "Duck season!" retorted Misha. "Wabbit season!" shouted Hanako. "Duck season!" retorted Misha. "Wabbit season!" shouted Hanako. "Duck season!" retorted Misha. "FEED YOUR HEAD," screamed Grace Slick. "Wabbit season!" shouted Hanako. "Duck season!" retorted Misha. "Bang," said the Colt 45 which Hisao had shot "Daffy Duck" in the "bill" (really "Hanako" in the "scarred cheek") with.



No waifus were harmed in the above story, but I've been eating those nasty-as-fuck Barbecue Pringles again and I really need to get to bed.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:17 am
by Daitengu
... What were you on when you wrote that? lol

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:32 am
by Doomish
And people say MY writing is strange.

Well done, sir. Incoherence is sometimes better than straightforward storytelling.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:47 am
by Silentcook
HarvestmanMan wrote:I wrote this in ten minutes
It shows.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 8:34 am
by BlackWaltzTheThird
I don't usually swear, but what the actual fuck did I just read?

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:44 am
by HarvestmanMan
Daitengu wrote:... What were you on when you wrote that? lol
Barbecue Pringles. They've been known to fuck up my dreams something terrible, and it looks like they fuck up my writing as well.
Doomish wrote:Well done, sir. Incoherence is sometimes better than straightforward storytelling.
You appear to have discovered my typical writing style! That is, extremely rushed, incoherent, and nonsensical.
Silentcook wrote:It shows.
I know, right? And that was with copypasta!
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:I don't usually swear, but what the actual fuck did I just read?
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:38 pm
by Mahorfeus
The White Rabbit reference just flew out of nowhere (like everything else did) and actually made me laugh. I suppose I can thumbs you up for that.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:46 pm
by Demonhornz
I love you.

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:24 pm
by HarvestmanMan
Demonhornz wrote:I love you.
Thanks. Do you have the lemon lube?

Re: I wrote this in ten minutes

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:17 pm
by Zaknafein
It's like I just read some horrifying mixture of KS and Fear and Loathing. I don't know how to feel about it... what the hell man?