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Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:07 am
by Rikaficfan
nemz wrote:it's just hebrew, should be easy enough to translate online if you really care.
I'm on an iPod,
What are they saying?
Are you Jewish?

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:30 am
by nemz
No, but I know it's hebrew just by looking at it. No idea what it says, but I don't really care either.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:38 am
by Bagheera
I'm just trying to figure out why they're talking about communist plots in Hebrew, of all things. What's wrong with good ol' Russian eh?

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:22 am
by RikaficfanHanako
Bagheera wrote:I'm just trying to figure out why they're talking about communist plots in Jewish, of all things. What's wrong with good ol' Russian eh?
Omg Jewish commies must die!

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:00 pm
by Comrade Lenin
RikaficfanHanako wrote:
Bagheera wrote:I'm just trying to figure out why they're talking about communist plots in Jewish, of all things. What's wrong with good ol' Russian eh?
Omg Jewish commies must die!
Too much comrade

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:37 am
by Silentcook
Okay.

First: please stop using languages other than English on these forums.

Second: please don't go on tangents completely unrelated to the thread.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 8:29 am
by Comrade Lenin
Silentcook wrote:Okay.

First: please stop using languages other than English on these forums.

Second: please don't go on tangents completely unrelated to the thread.
The American gov is monitoring our own website so we cant discuss it there.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:16 pm
by Ultraxion
Here are a few comments I have about the story.

-I don't think anyone brought it up before, but according to the blog post, Rika is a second-year student, which, if she were implemented, would have made her the only named student outside Hisao's year. While the only thing that would be affected if she were not a first year is the plotline with the possible cheating on the exam (Rika would have an entirely different teacher and an entirely different test), I wonder how Hisao would react to being separated from his girlfriend by the fact that he is graduating and she is not (unlike Lilly's route in which she and Hisao decide to go to the same university).

-The story vaguely reminds me of the Rin route (which I liked, but which, as my least favorite, I find myself unfavorably comparing to others). Hisao seems more withdrawn and angsty than in others, especially in his musings over Yamaku's purpose and its shortcomings as a community, and makes relatively little growth as a person. The other girls, besides Emi, have hardly any appearances (understandable, since she's said to be a loner) and there's more presence from characters unique to the route (Miki could also count, as she appears more often than in Hanako's route). As such, some of my criticism is because it is less, to use an expression, less my cup of tea than if it were more like others. This is quite well written, though; I am quite interested in seeing where everyone ends up, and hope there will be a resolution to the cheating subplot.

-As for Rika, while I would say she falls between Emi and Rin in the order I like the girls (especially considering her attitude about life and death), you've done a good job turning her paragraph-long character summary into a character who can serve as the main character of a route, although I wonder how well Rika being on less than good terms with Emi and Takashi meshes with her "get(ting) along well with most people".

-I would have liked to have seen Rika's version of Act 1, to see what decisions Hisao made to get together with Rika; I imagine he took Emi's route and made a choice that wasn't in the game to couple with Rika. As it stands now, it has a few elements of "Remember the New Guy", in that it suddenly jumps to them having an established relationship.

-I liked the multiple endings, although when I first read the story, I was able to guess that"Comfort Emi" was the wrong choice in part because it was the only one that had a link. The fake ending was an interesting concept in that it had Hisao get forced to switch schools again, and would have made for an excellent bad ending in the game.

On that note, in response to BobBobberson, I've noticed that most of the bad endings are in Act 4
Emi: Her bad ending is at the end of Act 3; she has a remarkably short fourth act.
Hanako: Both her bad and her "neutral" endings are in Act 4.
Lilly: The bad ending, if it can be called that, is in Act 4.
Rin: The bad ending is near the end of Act 3 and the "neutral" one is in Act 4.
Shizune: The decision is in Act 3, but the ending itself is in Act 4.

-It's a minor point, but I've noticed characters (especially Rika) occasionally randomly switch between calling others by their given names and their surnames. It doesn't detract from the story, but it's a small inconsistency.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:32 pm
by Titus
I think Rikabro said somewhere that he made Rika the same age as Hisao in this story.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:53 pm
by Leaty
Ultraxion wrote:I would have liked to have seen Rika's version of Act 1, to see what decisions Hisao made to get together with Rika; I imagine he took Emi's route and made a choice that wasn't in the game to couple with Rika. As it stands now, it has a few elements of "Remember the New Guy", in that it suddenly jumps to them having an established relationship.
I actually agree with this. My philosophy with writing branches is that they need to have a context relative to the game, i.e., they need to seem, on some level, like they ARE in the game, but nobody's unlocked them yet for whatever reason. themocaw's Saki route does a pretty good job of this, by showing that Saki's route is accessed by Hisao alienating both Lilly and Shizune during their Act 1 confrontation. Since Rika's path doesn't show anything that happened in Life Expectancy, the circumstances of "how to get to it" are nebulous; like you said, it seems to involve staying on Emi's route and then deviating at the last minute. Rika's not in the Nurse's office when Hisao's brought in after collapsing on the track, though, so I have to assume some kind of crazy conditional situation, like you encounter Rika there only if you've already gotten all the bad endings for the main five girls.

It might seem like I'm giving this too much thought, but I feel that when writing a story about a game, some element of game design needs to be retained in the plot. This story otherwise does it superbly, with the amazing bad/neutral endings and whatnot.

I don't agree with you about the similarities to Rin's route, though. Well, actually, as I write that, I realize there are some similar themes of alienation, but only superficially so. Rin is alienated from everybody else in a way unique to her, whereas Rika and Hisao, through their ultimately terminal conditions, share a feeling of alienation towards others, whilst otherwise being on the same frequency. Rin's story is about "me," but Rika's story is about "us." Hisao's whole dilemma in the story is deciding if he really wants to be a part of that alienated "us."

Rin's story is probably my least favorite, but I would rank Rika's branch above it and Shizune's, at the very least.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:19 am
by nemz
Leaty wrote:I actually agree with this.
Ditto.
I don't agree with you about the similarities to Rin's route, though. Well, actually, as I write that, I realize there are some similar themes of alienation, but only superficially so. Rin is alienated from everybody else in a way unique to her, whereas Rika and Hisao, through their ultimately terminal conditions, share a feeling of alienation towards others, whilst otherwise being on the same frequency. Rin's story is about "me," but Rika's story is about "us." Hisao's whole dilemma in the story is deciding if he really wants to be a part of that alienated "us."

Rin's story is probably my least favorite, but I would rank Rika's branch above it and Shizune's, at the very least.
I think you're forgetting the secondary theme of self-destruction Rin goes through and Hisao's struggles to decide just how far he's willing to help her on this endeavor and where he's drawing the line. There's a different motivation behind this behavior of course but I definately see a connection.

Rin and Shizune are at the top of my list but I'm comfortable saying this Rika route would find itself somewhere at that end of the sig line for me as well.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:56 pm
by templar627
Leaty wrote:
Ultraxion wrote:I would have liked to have seen Rika's version of Act 1, to see what decisions Hisao made to get together with Rika; I imagine he took Emi's route and made a choice that wasn't in the game to couple with Rika. As it stands now, it has a few elements of "Remember the New Guy", in that it suddenly jumps to them having an established relationship.
I actually agree with this. My philosophy with writing branches is that they need to have a context relative to the game, i.e., they need to seem, on some level, like they ARE in the game, but nobody's unlocked them yet for whatever reason. themocaw's Saki route does a pretty good job of this, by showing that Saki's route is accessed by Hisao alienating both Lilly and Shizune during their Act 1 confrontation. Since Rika's path doesn't show anything that happened in Life Expectancy, the circumstances of "how to get to it" are nebulous; like you said, it seems to involve staying on Emi's route and then deviating at the last minute. Rika's not in the Nurse's office when Hisao's brought in after collapsing on the track, though, so I have to assume some kind of crazy conditional situation, like you encounter Rika there only if you've already gotten all the bad endings for the main five girls.
I think that an easier way to put Rika into Act 1 would be to simply have a third choice on one of the branches. Perhaps, during the scene when Hisao is talking to Misha and Shizune where to go, there could be another choice to go the Nurse's office or something.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:43 am
by Leaty
Yeah, I mean, pragmatically speaking, that would be the right thing to do, but in my mind, Rika and Saki are "secret" characters, so I prefer the idea of having to "unlock" them.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/15/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:21 am
by Ultraxion
Here's how I could see Rika's path being unlocked in the actual game. It would happen as Hisao is exiting the nurse's office after "Go(ing) for it" in the second run (the visual novel seems to imply that characters might be in a room even if they're not on-screen; this seems to happen fairly often in the library).You would have a choice to talk with Rika (in which, if you didn't have the DLC, the choice would either be grayed out or skipped over). She will then ask you about your disability, and you can either say you see your condition as an obstacle to overcome, or as a part of your life that you must learn to live with. Choosing the former would cause Rika to walk off in disappointment, leading to Emi's route. Choosing the latter causes her to approve (as to her, you will always be limited in some way by your condition, and she is happy that you are willing to accept this), and for you to get Rika's route.

On the day of the festival, I suspect Kenji would accuse Rika of her being someone who roots out opposing conspiracies for the feminist movement on the basis of her being a loner, and you would spend the festival alone with Rika.

As for Saki, I think you would be able to talk to her in one of the late Act 1 scenes before getting Rin and/or Emi, possibly on the way to the art club, although I do not have any ideas over what choices would be required for her route. Kenji would also go into his rant about the art club, like he does in Rin's route, and at the festival, you would see some of Saki's art for the festival.

The April Fool's Day post mentioned there would be four routes with new characters not seen elsewhere, so I wonder who the other two would be (although the "not seen elsewhere" part implies they are not Misha, Kenji, Yuuko or anyone else already in the game), and if they would appear in Rika or Saki's paths.

ASDFGTHYUJKILK

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:36 pm
by ZD101
Is this still being worked on?