Katawa Shoujo Forums

Hi, I've never posted on these forums before (and I'm sure it will show), but I've been working on Hanako's story line... I've been working on this for a month, and it's not nearly close to done, but I was hoping if someone could check if the story makes sense so far out. (Haven't really worked on choices so far)

Hisao: Check.

I let go of my bishop and give a smile. 

Hisao: Your turn.

Hanako doesn't give any acknowledgement, but instead looks for a counter move.
She still impresses me with how different she can be in front of me.
For a moment, it reminds me of a pool game we once played.
Her determination can be seen in her facial expressions, yet her eyes tell her concentration.

Hanako: Checkmate

She moves her pawn forward blocking my bishop and opening a new path for her queen.
With her rooks trapping my king in the corner, her queen finishes the job.
It's a shame that most games I play with Hanako end this way.

Lilly: Well done Hanako, I believe that's your third win in a row today.

Hanako blushes and gives a look of satisfaction.
She's changed since we've meet. 

Hanako: I... could go easy on... you.

Well I guess she hasn't changed that much...

Hisao: No, I think I know how I can beat you this time.

It has been two months since I confessed my love to Hanako.
Although it was tough to get through to her, I feel I know her better. 
I still believe there are things I don't know about Hanako and she could say the same, but we'll get there together when we're ready.

We told Lilly about our relationship when she got back from Scotland. Of course we didn't tell her about the night we spent together, but I'm sure Lilly has her own suspicions on what happen.
She sits next to Hanako enjoying a small cup of tea.

She seems more relieved now that Hanako has come more out of her shell.

With the exams coming up, the three of us have been working hard on school work. 
Lilly has been practicing her English; I guess it makes sense due to her wanting to become an English teacher.

I have been focusing on my math and sciences. I feel like I have a real knack at it, but I still don't know what I want to do when I get a career. There are so many options and I can't choose them all. Mr. Mutou says I could work as a scientist, but I don't know if I want to.

Hanako has also been working harder in her math skills, but I don't think she truly knows what she want to do either.
I want to be able to encourage her, but I can never think of the right thing to say.

I know we want to be together and support each other, but how? 

Hanako: It's your move, Hisao.

Hisao: Oh sorry, my head was in the clouds.

I wonder if she thinks about it too.

I place my knight in position to fork her rook and king.

Hisao: Check

I feel as if Hanako isn't prepared for the life outside of Yamaku High School.

Hanako: Oh, I don't think you can do that.

She points out how the knight was blocking her bishop from taking my king.

Hisao: Oh yeah, sorry about that.

But are any of us really prepared? I mean even Lilly doesn't know where she wants to learn to teach.

Lilly: Is something wrong Hisao? You seem troubled.

Hisao: No, it's just... 

I think about the word choice as delicately as possible.

Hisao: What are you two planning to do for the summer?

Not the real question I wanted to ask, but I feel it would be more appropriate.

Hanako goes quiet and avoids my eyes.

Hanako: I... am staying... in the orphanage. They said I could stay there until college.

Her concentration drifts to the window.

Hanako: I was planning that we could all... be together. I mean for the summer of course.

She puts on a smile and refocuses on the me, but it doesn't leave me convinced. The unsteady tone makes it sound as if she's being dependent on us.

My eyes are trained on Lilly as if waiting for her blessing.
Lilly's cheer disappears from her face and is replaced with a frown. Hanako refocus on the game; she's trying to ignore the fact that the year is ending and the result being a new place, new people, maybe even a new life.

Lilly: My sister and I will be returning to Scotland.

What? I mean we knew she would have to return home, but so soon?
Hanako's eyes close shut.
Her body turns off part by part.
The motion of lifting her pawn slows down to a stop, as she holds it in midair. 
Her body isn't moving and her breathing is barely noticeable.
I think Hanako knew Lilly would leave, but she has never pondered about a life without her.
She says she didn't want us to notice her, but I think she's become more reliant on both lilly and me.

Hisao: When do you have to go?

With any luck she may stay for the beginning of the summer...

Lilly: Just before the end of the school year. I don't know if we can come back.

Lilly becomes quiet. She can only guess the situation developing in front of her as Hanako freezes.

Hanako's eyes are still shut and she's beginning to break.
A tear falls down her cheek, followed by another tear and another. 
Lilly has always been there for Hanako, almost like a mother.
Besides the library, Lilly was a save haven for Hanako. Hanako walked everywhere with Lilly.
And now, her world is being flipped around.

I have to say something before it gets worse.

Hisao: I'll be free for the summer.

No good, Hanako is still on the verge of bursting into tears.

Hisao: And Lilly... I'm sure you could come during the summer to see Hanako and me in the beach house we're going to.

Hanako's expression changes slowly from sorrow to curiosity.
She looks towards me and I see her full face.
Her hair is still the beautiful shade of violet it has always been. 
Her light purple eyes combine with the elegance of her hair.
Her scars add texture to her fair face and they pull me even closer.
Yet the sorrow she shows...
The tears are still dropping, but the her eyes are begging for a way out.
If I didn't know better, it was as if I had just accepted the new spot as Lilly.

Hanako tries to talk through the tears.

Hanako: I don't... understand... I...

Hisao: Well I was hoping that you could go with me to the beach house for the summer.

Hisao: I was going to bring it up with you after the exams, but I guess now would be the best time to ask you.

We never talked about life after high school; but whatever would happen, I am sure we will be together.
Hanako forms a small smile, but is still unsure. 
I can see she's thinking it over right now.
Silence overtakes the room and the only movement is the last of the tears dropping from Hanako's cheeks.

Lilly: Aren't you going to see your parents though?

I completely forgot that Lilly was still with us.
By the looks of it, she has been able to follow along with what's been happening.

Hisao: They said I needed to prepare for the adult world. Something about me being more independent.

Lilly shivers, almost as if I set off a key word. I never thought 

Hisao: Besides, they rented a nice beach house for the summer and told me to invite some of my friends!

They also said they would be there to keep an eye on me... I wonder if they know how old I am by now.

Hisao: The house is one of the only three near the beach, but it's a little walk away from a quiet town.

Hanako's expression has drastically changed from one of great sorrow to great joy. 
It's a place for herself, where she doesn't have to worry about people but close enough to go out for fun. 
I purposely asked my parents to find somewhere like this and it looks like they did a perfect job.
By the redness in her cheeks, I take it she agrees.

Hanako: Would it be... just the two of us.

It's my turn to blush.
When she puts it that way...

Hisao: I was kind of hoping Lilly would go too, but yes. I guess it would be just the two of us.

Hanako's eyes finally lock onto mine. It's almost as if we are both looking deeply into each other.

All I can hear is my mind repeats the same line over and over again.
I can't have her deny me. After all this time, she can't say no...

Hanako: Well, I... Yes.

The answer takes me back.
I thought she would at least have to think about it.
I give a smile in response, and my heart feels lighter. 
I never thought I would have the chance to be alone with Hanako again.

Hisao: Then it's a date.

Hanako blushes, she still hasn't got use to the idea of our close relationship.

Hisao: I didn't mean that... I mean if you don't... I mean...

Hanako: No, I like it. It's a date.

Lilly giggles bringing me back to the real world. The daylight which had surrounded us has disappeared.

Hisao: I think it's time to go.

Lilly: Oh is it that time already?

Hanako: Yes. I'll clean up. You guys go ahead.

I get up to help Hanako, but Lilly is quick to stop me before I can utter a single word.

Lilly: I'll help Hanako clean up too. Good night Hisao.

Hisao: But I...

Lilly: No, we are quite capable of cleaning up. You've been enough of a gentleman to us tonight.

Lilly begins pushing me out of the door. Well it's not pushing, but rather herding me out of the door.
It's very impressive for a blind girl to push a man out with no physical contact.

I take it she wants to talk to Hanako privately.

Hanako raises her hand.

Hanako: Good night H...

Lilly shuts the door in my face before I can here the last of her sentence.
She must really want to speak to Hanako alone. I wonder what it could be she is talking about... 

I turn around and head back to my dormitory.



As I arrive, I find Kenji stumbling with his key.

Hisao: Hey Kenji, how's the studying going?

Kenji jumps at the sound of his name. Theres nothing quite like startling Kenji to end the day.
As his body turns around, his right arm ejects towards me, pointing his key at me as if it was a spear.

Kenji: Who's there! Is it one of you damn girls?!? You're not taking me down! I know the truth...

Hisao: Calm down, it's just me, Hisao.

Kenji: Oh a fellow fighter of the feminist ways... How's it going man?

Hisao: Fine. Are you ready for the exams next week?

Kenji: Exams? What exams?

If anyone were to forget the exams at the end of the year, it would be Kenji. Actually, I take that back. First it would be that Rin girl with her head in the clouds, then Kenji.

Hisao: The end of year exams? The one that decides your fate in college? Don't tell me you already forgot...

Kenji: I was never told of that. It's all the females trying to take the world! They're trying to control who succeeds and who fails! Well I won't fail, I'll show them!

Hisao: Sounds like you have a lot of studying to do.

Kenji: Thanks man, if we don't stick together we'll never over come those women!

Kenji walks through the door and slams it shut behind him.
What a life he lives, worrying about the female gender in the world. I wonder if it's all he thinks about sometimes...

As I retire for the night, I take two of the last ten pills in the container.
I don't really need them anymore, but the nurse says I still need to take two a day. Even when I leave I'll still need to take them.
He also said if I had exercise more, I would't have such a bad heart. 
I mean I'm still trying to fix it, but I know I'm gonna have to deal with my heart problem for the rest of my life.
Yet the thought of taking these pills for the rest of my life... If I had exercise more often, I may have actually been off them by now. 
I wonder if I should have ran with that girl... Emi.
But then I would have never had time for Hanako.

I pull the covers over my head, and think of the better days with Hanako up ahead.



*Knock, Knock, Knock*

???: Is anyone alive in there?

Why do I have to get up. The world can go on without me for a few more hours.

???: If you don't get up, we'll break the door down!

Hisao: Okay! I'm up! I'm up.

I walk over to the door and yank  it open.

Hisao: Yes?

Misha and Shizune stand in the hallway giving me funny looks.
Misha bursts out laughing, as Shizune looks away.

Misha: Wahahaha, Hisha did you forget to dress before answering your door?

What does she... Oh crap, I forgot to throw a shirt and a pair of pants on.

I slam the door shut and rush to get dressed.

Misha: Oh Hisao, you didn't have to shut the door for us... We're friends right?

Not the best word I would use for our 'bond'.

Hisao: If this about a student council meeting, I'm not...

Misha: We have a letter from your parents!

A letter? From my parents?
I've only got one other letter since my stay here, and that didn't end well.

I paused. This is the first time my parents actually sent me any contact since I came to the high school.
I wonder what they wrote. There are so many possibilities...

Note: Son, good job in high school.

They could have told me that at graduation.

Note: Son, we want you to work in a sweatshop instead of going to college.

Can't be that, otherwise they wouldn't have threaten me to get great grades.

Note: Son, we are moving to Canada.

It's too late for that, and why would they want to move to Canada?

Note: Son, if we find that you've been with a girl...

I hope not.

I yank the door open. The two of the are still standing in the hallway. Shizune hands me the envelope, the weight of it catching me by surprise. 

Hisao: Are you sure?

Shizune: ... 

Misha: Yes, but we should go to class, we're gonna to be late.

We head off to class with the envelope in my hand.

I walk into class finding only half of the class there yet. 
I guess that's what you get when you make it optional to go to the morning review classes.
I glance to the back of the room to see if Hanako had come in yet.
As I guessed though, she isn't here.
Normally we would meet up and walk to class together, but Misha and Shizune kinda made me change my schedule...

I pull out my Japanese and English books to go over for the exams.
Although they may not be my main focus for college, I still need to pass those tests with somewhat high marks.
Mutou walks around the class making sure nobody needs individual help.
Surprisingly, Misha seems to be hard at work. 
It's almost as if she understands the importance of the exams coming up.
I never thought she'd be the one working the hardest right now.

The classroom door opens and Hanako enters. Her eyes dart to my desk and slowly creeps upwards. When our eyes meet, I can see her's smile.

She briskly walks to her desk and takes a seat.

I start to get up to move my desk next to hers, but the first bell rings just as I stand up.

Mutou: Okay, everyone, class has started. We'll begin with learning special equations you can use on the math portion of the exams...

The class period is slow and quiet. I've always enjoyed math somewhat, but this? This is painful.
Eventually I lose my focus and, like most of the students, zone out.
The envelope my parents enters my mind.
What did my parents write to me that they couldn't say to me at graduation?
I stare out of the window in the middle of class and see a white bird fly past the window.
It elegantly places itself on top of a thin electric wire.
Its wings are large and magnificent. If it wanted, it could fly across the world and strife for greatness. It's not trapped to a wooden shackle studying for its future fate. 
I wish I could be that bird; but then again, I don't.

I glanced back to Hanako seeing her struggling to keep up. Mutuo doesn't seem to notice any of the students and continues to speak quickly. I raise my hand.

Hisao: Err, can you slow down a bit?

Mutuo: Oh, yes. I forgot you need to be understanding what I'm saying. I'll try to slow down.

I return my focus to Hanako who gives me a smile in approval. She maybe less shy with me, but she's still not opening up to others around her.
I turn my head and return to writing down the notes.

The school bell finally rings. 
Mr. Mutuo nods his head and all the students pile out of the class leaving Mr. Mutuo, Hanako and I alone.
I take the envelope from my desk and put it in my back pocket.
Hanako rises and starts to walk towards the exit. I follow her as she passes my desk.

The two of us start our way to the tea room as Mr. Mutuo stops us. 

Mutuo: Just before you two go, I was hoping I could ask you a question.

Hisao: Yes?

Mutuo: You two have made a huge improvement. The pair of you are two of the top three in my class. 

Mutuo: I am interested if you know what you are planning to do later in life.

Why is he asking us now? And why the two of us together? Normally he pulls me out of class to ask me these kind of questions.
Hanako grabs my arm and squeezes. I can tell she doesn't feel that comfortable about the subject.

Hisao: To be honest, I still don't know. The suggestion you told me earlier this year seems to be my best choice.

Mutuo nods. His eyes then turn to Hanako. 
She sakes her head, yet she doesn't look up.

Mutuo: You two need to prepare for what's out there, it's not willing to slow down for anyone.

Mutuo: It would be a shame to lose two great students because they were unsure what to do.

I nod.

Mutuo: Good, now go enjoy lunch. We've only got a few days before finals.

With that, the two of us leave his room.
As we walk to the staircase, we look at each other.

Hanako: Do you think he knows? I mean about us?

I give a smile. I guess he may know.
He's probably seen secret couples in his years as a teacher.
Then again, we always hang out together.

Hisao: Probably not, but I think he knows we're at least friends.

We arrive at the tea room to find Lilly waiting outside the door.

Lilly: Ahh, there you two are.

She maybe blind, but her hearing is incredible. To be able to know when someone is near by a sense of sound...
I wonder what happens when it's someone she is not expecting. 

Hisao: Sorry we're a little late, we got held up.

Hanako: I think... Lilly wants to tell you something.

Lilly nods and beckons us inside by opening the door.
The two of us head inside and sit down next to each other.
She shuts the door and works her way to her chair.

I can tell this is about the conversation the two had yesterday.
Does Lilly feel that I shouldn't have asked Hanako to go so suddenly?
Or does Lilly feel I forced Hanako to go?

Lilly: I thought about my trip to Scotland, and I have been able to come up with a compromise with my sister.

Lilly: Although we will have to return home, we can wait a little longer. 

Lilly: I even convinced Akira to find a temporary job for the summer. 

Hisao: And I take it you now want to go with us to the beach house?

Lilly: If the offer is still available.

Hisao: Of course!

I honestly wish it was just me and Hanako, but I can tell it would be for the best. Besides, my parents would be at the house anyways and if it was just the two of us with them, it would have been extremely awkward for us.

Hisao: What kind of job was Akira able to find?

Lilly: At such sort notice, Akira was lucky enough to find a high-paying job as a maid.

Akira as a maid, imagine what a sight that would be.

The three of us eat our lunch.
It's always peaceful and quiet in the tea room.
To imagine if I had never stumbled in here by mistake, I would have never meet Lilly.
Which leads to me never introducing myself Hanako.
It's funny how things work in life.

I watch as Hanako helps Lilly remove a bit of rice off her cheek.
Normally Lilly is helping Hanako, but it's little exceptions such as these that show the balance of the two's relationship.
Hanako describes about the surroundings in great detail, while Lilly walks forward through the surroundings as a human shield for Hanako.

I fidget to find a comfortable place in my seat.
It's not until after sliding left and right a few times do I realize the envelope in my back pocket.
I pull out my parents envelope from my pocket. The size and weight of it still concerns me.
I finally open the letter and pull out a large stack of 10,000 yen notes and a letter.
Hanako glances over and stares at the stack of money in front of me.

Hanako: Who sent that?

Lilly: What did he get?

Hisao: A letter and some money from my parents.

I begin to read the note outload, each word new to me as well as to the audience around me.

Note: Dear Hisao,

As you know we are proud to be your parents and have stuck with you all the way through your life. Your mother and I have cradled you as a small baby to the young man you are now. We will always love you and support you whenever you need help.

As you may have already found, there is almost over 10,000,000 yen in this envelope. There are also four train tickets attached to the back of this letter for you and three of your friends. These are for your stay in the beach house this summer. The key will be in the 2nd flower pot to the right of the door.

Your mother and I are caught in a business transaction with a very important client. Sadly, he is not willing to put it off until the middle of summer so your mom and I have to stay in China until we can get this deal sorted out.

We were able to hire a maid to look after the house until we are able to arrive. She'll arrive at the train station to meet you. 

Love,
Dad and Mom

P.S. - Her name is...

Hanako: What's her name?

Hisao: Arika.

The three us start laughing. None of us can believe the thought of Arika babysitting us in a maid's outfit.

The bell rings calling us back to the school.
I hand one of the tickets to each of them, leaving me with one spare.

Lilly: It seems there would be an extra ticket if you read the letter correctly.

Hisao: Yeah, and I think I know who I want to give it too.

We all get up and exit the tea room. It maybe the last time I will ever see it again.
Closing the door behind us, I think of the two people I could give the ticket to.

There's Kenji, who I'm sure wouldn't mind joining us on the trip. 
Then again, maybe we would mind him going on the trip.

There's also Yuron who could take time off work to spend the beginning of summer with us.

Or I could just not give the ticket to anyone, and just have it be the three of us... Plus Arika. 

*Invite Kenji
*Invite Yuron
*Let it be just the three of us.

(Kenji)
I think I'll try to invite Kenji to come with us. He maybe busy with his fallout shelter, but a little fresh air won't kill him.

Back in the classroom, everyone is sitting down like mindless zombies. I swear, it's almost as if the school is damaging our brains rather than developing them.
And the hot air doesn't help either. Some of the windows are open, but all it's doing is letting in hotter humid air.
I take my seat and as soon as I do, Misha passes me a note.

Note: Do you have anything planned for the summer?

I take out a blue pen and write my reply under her question.

Note: Yes, why?

Note: Well the two of us wanted to know if you wanted to meet up.

Note: I don't think I can, I'm staying in a beach house.

Misha gives me an unsatisfied look and signals it to Shizune.

Shizune seems hurt but she tries to hide it. She smiles, nods, and changes her focus back to the front of class.

I can't say I don't feel bad for turning her down, but I already have plans with Hanako and Lilly. Besides, Misha and Shizune will most likely be together for the summer.

I close my eyes and ponder what will happen this summer.

For the three of us it's a nice relaxation by the beach. 
I imagine Lilly would wear a summer dress and listen to the sound of ocean tide. 
Arika would be watching next to her boyfriend. I still have yet to meet him... 
Then there would be Hanako, I'm not sure what she would be doing. She may just end up sitting off to the side next to the beach.
Still, it brings up a lot of questions, like has Hanako gone to the beach before?
Does she know how to swim?
Has she been comfortable near a public beach?
Does a bikini suit or a one piece? Probably the one piece to hide her scars...

A hard poke to my lower rib cage wakes my from dream. I look to Misha who gives a smirk and glances to my desk.

I look down to see another note.

Note: What are you thinking about? Your cheeks are turning red.

A classic villain 

Ignoring her, I return my attention to the front of the class. There's a lot of notes since last time, but it's all review.
I start to write the new notes to look busy, but my imagination is still at work.

I can see Arika driving all of us into town. We may find a small bar and have a few drinks and laughs. Then again, maybe we shouldn't go out for drinks.

Mutuo: Do you all understand what is on the board?

Everyone mumbles what sounds like a group yes. The typical response on a Monday.

I look back to see Hanako doodling in her notebook. The picture has two figures, a purple haired girl and a boy, holding hands on a beach. She's thinking about the summer coming up too.

My heart begins to race, a warm feeling overtakes me inside. The feeling fades, developing into a heart ache. I try to control my breathing, but my heart gets worse and worse. I quickly slip onto the floor as my hands try to grasp the objects nearby. I hear a few screams and look up to the faces of my classmates.

The world becomes grey and hazy around me as everything disappears. I've never felt such a sensation before. The heart attacks I've had in the past have always had me blank out or lose any recollection, but this time I can see an image of Hanako right in front of me. The blackness surrounding us becomes a blinding bright light introducing me to an open area of long grass and large trees. Besides us lies a calm river that appears shallow. Hanako opens her mouth.

Hanako: I... Can't.

I do not understand what she is talking about, nor do I know where we are. I want to ask, but the words don't come out of my mouth. Instead, my mind fills with thoughts of disappointment and sorrow.

Hisao: You have to try, for both of us, it's the only way.

I have no control over what I say, and by the way it's heading, it sounds like I'm trying to convince her of something.

Hanako: I told you I... I would try, but... It's not easy...

Hisao: I know and I'll always try to be here for you, but what happens when I'm not here. 

Hisao: You know about my weak heart, and It's not getting better. Please, I'm trying for you but I need you to try for me too.

My head goes blank.

I wake up to purple hair covering my face. As I push the hair aside, I find myself late at night in the nurse's office. 
Slowly, I lift my shoulders to sit up straight.
I can only get half way due to the head on top of my heart. 
Hanako's face is pointed towards me, with tears running all the way to her chin. It must be late at night if she feel asleep crying...

I lay back more and stare at the sight.

Her right cheek is pressed up against my heart, and if it wasn't for the school uniform, our scars would be touching.

I could wake her and ask her what time it is, but she looks tired...

*Wake her
*Let her sleep

(Wake her)
I gently shake her left shoulder to wake her.
Her eyes begin to open as she lifts her head. I doubt she meant to fall asleep on top of me.
It's not until her eyes reach mine, does she fully wake up.

Hanako: Hisao, you're awake!

Before I can say anything, I receive a hug sucking all the air out of me. I must be getting really weak...

Hisao: It's... Nice... Seeing... You... Too

She stops and backs away. Her face changes from relieved to worrisome. 

Hanako: Sorry, I forgot the... State you are in. The nurse said you may not be able to do anything too... Physically stressing. I hope I didn't hurt you.

Hisao: It's okay, honestly. How long was I out?

Hanako: About two days. The final exams are...

She bits her lips to stop herself. If my logic is correct tonight is Wensday and tomorrow is Thursday. The day just before the exams.

Hisao: The next day, meaning I've only got a day left for studying.

Hanako nods her head and looks down. She worries for me deeply, but there's nothing she can do about it.

Hisao: Don't worry, I just need to prepare a little. I know math, science, and history well enough, all I need is help in writing and english.

I can't lie, I feel like I'm gonna to die. There's nothing I can do about it though.
I glance past Hanako to get Read the time on the clock.
1:35... A.M...

Hisao: Hanako, how long have you been here?

Hanako: Since you've been here. Lilly has come in to check on you a few times, but she had to leave to study for her tests. She brought some books and food for the two of us, hoping you would wake up.

I hear a loud yawn coming from office. The door opens as the nurse walks out with a tired expression.

Nurse: Must have doze off to sleep. Hisao, are you finally awake?

Hisao: Yes, I didn't mean to wake you.

Nurse: It's not like you can choose wether to be conscious or not. Your heart took you for a bit of a ride though.

Nurse: To be fair, I thought it maybe a few more days before coming back. You mist really want to take those exams.

He gives a smirk. It's not the best type of humor, but he's trying to help.

I would like to see more. I'd like to see their holidays, especially when Hanako is in a swimsuit fap fap fap.
And is Arika, Akira?

I like it. The way you wrote it like a VN might turn off some people though. Personally I have no problem with it.

Some minor nitpicks. After the letter you constantly spell "Akira" as "Arika," and there are a handful of typos throughout the whole thing. I am liking the story so far though

Okay, there are a few typos, but it's not really worth mentioning.
A few things about the story, though:
- First of all: Don't write in script style!
- The Japanese schoolyear ends at the end of march, so the final exams would be in march. The summer holidays are just between the first and the second trimester.
- It's a bit strange that Hisao's parents never once wrote him in the time he was at Yamaku. Depending on whether you decide to set your story in late July (before the summer holidays) or in early March (before the end of the school year) that would be either three or eleven months. In any case Hisao is remarkably NOT curious enough to actually open the letter for quite some time...
- What is a sweatshop?
- I don't think Hisao's parents could affort to rent a beach house for a whole month. They don't seem to be too well off...
- Conversely, Akira doesn't need to part-time as a maid. She could probably hire half a dozen maids with what she earned at her regular job.
- Hisao's parents send him the equivalent of about 130.000 USD in the mail??? In cash? Are they crazy?
- Inviting Kenji along for a holiday with three girls does not seem like Hisao's brightest idea...
- Who is Yuron?
- At the beginning you wrote that Hisao's heart had gotten better to the point where he almost didn't need his medication at all anymore (which is not how his condition works, but anyway...) So why does he now get a heart attack for no reason at all?
- If Hisao had a heart attack bad enough to knock him out for two days, they'd have him in a ahospital in intensive care...

So these are the thoughts that went through my head as I was reading the story.
You should probably give some more thought to the timeline, and the only reasonable explanation for Akira jobbing as a maid would be that she knows who her employers are and uses this as an excuse to stay with Lilly.

Who is Yuron?
What's the plan with all those choices? Do you plan on making some huge branching chimera expanding on all those options later, or what?
Why don't you make an account? Doing so would let you edit your posts to fix typos and stuff, of which there are many. Of course, that would necessitate remaking this thread, but it seems like a small price to pay.

Anyway, the prose seems acceptable, although it seems like the sentence structure is a bit too simple a lot of the time, but that might just be me. I expect that a lot of people will bitch about the dialogue format, but I don't think it detracts that much from the storytelling.

Anyway, 's pretty coo'. There's some obvious discrepancies between your canon illustrates and what my canon illustrates, and to that extent, I'd encourage you to look at how viable some of the scenarios are, (such as Hanako going catatonic when Lilly admits that she'll be leaving, but super happy once she hears about the summer house) but I wouldn't call it a problem as long as it's consistent within your own story.

Brogurt wrote:There's some obvious discrepancies between your canon illustrates and what my canon illustrates

Guess I should elaborate. Specifically, I'm talking about my existing fic "Homecoming," where I tried to get the point across that, with our favorite couple in an actual loving relationship, it would be much more likely that they'd be investigating their futures before Lilly even gets back, rather than having not even touched on it 2 months later.

- What is a sweatshop?

Where people without educations go to work, in bad conditions, for low pay. They're in Taiwan and China.

Might have some more comments when I get back home.

Okay, got an account!

Is it better to write in novel form or skript form?

I do need to fix alot of errors, I come to this after classes on college.

Im not very familiar with the Japanese school system (probably should have researched that...), so how do the exams work? Its suppose to be the week before exams to the beginning of college.

With the issue around characters, I do need to "tidy" some up. IE: Arika's job, Hanako's reactions, word choice.

The heart issue will be explained (although the length of time he's knocked out for is too long). I got the picture of the entire story but just not the words.

The money... I could have it on a debit/credit card, but he's never used one; I could have Akira hand over the money, but I may have to remove her as a maid. hmm, I do want the concept because it plays a role in the end...

I do plan of extending it more (more branches).

@Brogurt don't wanna log in
Hanako should react more sadden inside of 'ignoring' Lilly's leaving? I was kind of thinking she wouldn't want to exsist anymore.

Surfusa wrote:Okay, got an account!

Is it better to write in novel form or skript form?

I do need to fix alot of errors, I come to this after classes on college.

Im not very familiar with the Japanese school system (probably should have researched that...), so how do the exams work? Its suppose to be the week before exams to the beginning of college.

With the issue around characters, I do need to "tidy" some up. IE: Arika's job, Hanako's reactions, word choice.

The heart issue will be explained (although the length of time he's knocked out for is too long). I got the picture of the entire story but just not the words.

The money... I could have it on a debit/credit card, but he's never used one; I could have Akira hand over the money, but I may have to remove her as a maid. hmm, I do want the concept because it plays a role in the end...

I do plan of extending it more (more branches).

@Brogurt don't wanna log in
Hanako should react more sadden inside of 'ignoring' Lilly's leaving? I was kind of thinking she wouldn't want to exsist anymore.

Novel form definitely.

The school year in Japan begins in April and classes are held from Monday to either Friday or Saturday(half Saturdays in Yamaku's case). The school year consists of two or three terms(school dependent, and not stated in KS), which are separated by short holidays in spring and winter, and a six week long summer break. Year end exams are in spring.

I think having Hisao's parents entrust the money with Akira to deliver to Hisao at the beach house could work, if not a debt card. And wow that is that a lot of cash. Like enough to live on for two years depending on location, bills included. o.O

- Yamaku's school year definitely has trimesters.
- Usually there s an exam week towards the end of each Trimester. Sometimes there are also so-called "mid-terms", but I'm not sure if Yamaku has those as well.
- In "Bundle of Hisao" Hisao's parents were considering selling their house to pay for Hisao's medical bills, so they're probably not THAT wealthy. Of course if you want to make them millionaires, you can either ignore canon for that point or have them win the lottery or something. In any case 10 million Yen is more than Hisao can realsitcally be expected to need for a one month vacation, even if they are swimming in money...

Okay, fixed the majority I believe and some of the problems... Still a bit unsure about the money and the time of the events... (As much as I hate to say this, I am typing this on the iPhone, and at the moment, the script format is the easiest for me to write)

Updated: 4/9/2012

Hisao: Check.

I let go of my bishop and give a smile. 

Hisao: Your turn.

Hanako doesn't give any acknowledgement, but instead looks for a counter move.
She still impresses me with how different she can be in front of me.
For a moment, it reminds me of a pool game we once played.
Her determination can be seen in her facial expressions, yet her eyes tell her concentration.

Hanako: Checkmate

She moves her pawn forward blocking my bishop and opening a new path for her queen.
With her rooks trapping my king in the corner, her queen finishes the job.
It's a shame that most games I play with Hanako end this way.

Lilly: Well done Hanako, I believe that's your third win in a row today.

Hanako blushes and gives a look of satisfaction.
She's changed since we've meet. 

Hanako: I... could go easy on... you.

Well she hasn't changed that much...

Hisao: No, I think I know how I can beat you this time.

It has been about two months since I confessed my love to Hanako.
Although it was tough to get through to her, I feel I know her better. 
There are things I don't know about Hanako and she could say the same about me, but we're getting there each day.

Lilly sits next to Hanako enjoying a small cup of tea. 
We told her about our relationship shortly after she got back from Scotland. Of course we didn't tell her about the night we spent together, but I'm sure she has her own suspicions on what happen.

She seems more relieved now that Hanako has come more out of her shell.

With the final exams coming up, the three of us have been working hard on school work. 
Lilly has been practicing her English trying her best to become an English teacher.

I've been focusing on my math and sciences. I feel like I have a real knack at it, but I still don't know what I want to do when I get a career. There are so many options and I can't choose them all. Mr. Mutou says I could be a scientist, but I don't know if I want to.

Hanako has also been working in her math skills, but  she doesn't truly know what she want to do either.
I want to be able to encourage her, but I can't think of the right thing to say to her. 
How can I when I don't know what to tell myself.

Hanako: It's your move, Hisao.

Hisao: Oh sorry, my head was in the clouds.

I wonder if she thinks about it too.

Placing my knight in a position to fork her rook and king.

Hisao: Check

We may have gone over it, but I've still got a gut feeling inside.
I feel as if Hanako isn't prepared for the life outside of Yamaku High School.

Hanako: Oh, I don't think you can do that.

She points out how the knight was blocking her bishop from taking my king.

Hisao: Oh yeah, sorry about that.

But are any of us really prepared? I mean even Lilly doesn't know where she wants to stay for college.

Lilly: Is something wrong Hisao? You seem troubled.

Hisao: No, it's just... 

I think about the word choice as delicately as possible.

Hisao: What are you two planning to do for the summer?

Not the real question I wanted to ask, but I feel it would be more appropriate.

Hanako goes quiet and avoids my eyes.

Hanako: I... am staying... in the orphanage. They said I could stay there until college.

Her concentration drifts to the window.

Hanako: I was planning that we could all... be together. I mean for the summer of course.

She smiles towards me, but it doesn't leave me convinced. The unsteady tone makes it sound as if she's being dependent on us.

All eyes lie on Lilly as if waiting for her blessing.

Lilly's cheer disappears and is replaced with a frown. Hanako reacts by refocusing on the game; she's trying to ignore the fact that the year is ending and the result being a new place, new people, maybe even a new life.

Lilly: My sister and I will be returning to Scotland.

What? I mean we knew she would have to return home, but so soon?

Hanako's eyes close shut.
The motion of lifting her pawn slowly grinds to a stop in midair. 
She's become motionless and her breathing is barely noticeable.
She can't control herself as her eye ducts overload with tears.

Hanako knew Lilly would leave, but she has never taking the time to plan a life without her.
Although she has said in the past she didn't want us to notice her, she's become more reliant on both lilly and me. That's our own fault.

Hisao: When do you have to go?

With any luck she may stay for the beginning of the summer...

Lilly: Just before the end of the school year. I don't know if we can come back.

Lilly becomes quiet. She can only guess the situation developing in front of her as Hanako freezes.

Hanako's eyes are still shut and she's beginning to break.
A tear trickles down her cheek, followed by another tear and another. 
Lilly has always been there for Hanako, almost like a mother.
Besides the library, Lilly was a save haven for Hanako. Hanako walked everywhere with Lilly.
And now, her world is being flipped around.

I have to say something before it gets worse.

Hisao: I'll be free for the summer.

No good, Hanako is still on the verge of bursting into tears.

Hisao: And Lilly... I'm sure you could come during the summer to see Hanako and me in the beach house we're going to.

As if I had cast a magic spell at the right time, the universe pauses for us.
Hanako's expression changes from sorrow to curiosity.
She looks towards me and I see her full face.
Her hair is still the beautiful shade of violet it has always been. 
Her light purple eyes combine with the elegance of her hair.
The scars add texture to her fair face and pull me even closer.
Yet the sorrow she shows...
The tears are still dropping, but the her eyes are begging for a way out.
If I didn't know better, it was as if I had just accepted the new spot as Lilly.

Hanako tries to talk through it all.

Hanako: I don't... understand... I...

Hisao: Well I was hoping that you could come with me to the beach house for the summer.

Hisao: I was going to bring it up with you after the exams, but I guess now would be the best time to ask you.

We never talked about life after high school; but whatever would happen, we would be together working through it as a couple.
Hanako forms a small smile, but still struggles with herself. 
I can see she's thinking it over right now.
Silence overtakes the room and the only movement is the last of the tears dropping from Hanako's cheeks.

Lilly: Aren't you going to see your parents though?

I completely forgot that Lilly was still with us.
By the looks of it, she's been able to follow along with what's been happening.

Hisao: They said I needed to prepare for the adult world. Something about me being more independent.

Lilly shivers, almost as if I set off a key word. I never thought parents would be a trigger word for her.

Hisao: Besides, they rented a nice beach house for the summer and told me to invite some of my friends!

They also said they would be there to keep an eye on me... I wonder if they know how old I am by now.

Hisao: The house is one of the only three near the beach, but it's a little walk away from a quiet town.

Hanako's expression has drastically changed from one of great sorrow to great joy. 
It's a place for herself, where she doesn't have to worry about people but it's close enough to go out for fun. 
I purposely asked my parents to find somewhere like this and it looks like they did a perfect job.
By the redness in her cheeks, I take it she agrees.

Hanako: Would it be... just the two of us.

It's my turn to blush. I lower my head without breaking my gaze.
When she puts it that way...

Hisao: I was kind of hoping Lilly would go too, but yes. I guess it would be just the two of us.

Hanako's eyes finally lock onto mine.

All I can hear is my mind repeats the same line over and over again.
I can't have her deny me. After all this time, she can't say no...

Hanako: Well, I... Yes.

The answer takes me back.
I thought she would at least have to think about it.
I give a smile in response, and my heart feels lighter. 
I never thought I would have the chance to be alone with Hanako again.

Hisao: Then it's a date.

Hanako blushes, she still hasn't got use to the idea of our close relationship.

Hisao: I didn't mean that... I mean if you don't... I mean...

Hanako: No, I like it. It's a date.

Lilly's giggles brings me back to the real world. The daylight which had surrounded us has disappeared.

Hisao: I think it's time to go.

Lilly: Oh is it that late already?

Hanako: Yes. I'll clean up. You guys go ahead.

I get up to help Hanako, but Lilly is quick to stop me before I can utter a single word.

Lilly: I'll help Hanako clean up too. Good night Hisao.

Hisao: But I...

Lilly: No, we are quite capable of cleaning up. You've been enough of a gentleman to us tonight.

Lilly begins pushing me out of the door. Well it's not pushing, but rather herding me out of the door.
It's very impressive for a blind girl to push a man out with no physical contact.

I take it she wants to talk to Hanako privately.

As I step into the hallway, I bid the two a good night.

Hanako raises her hand.

Hanako: Good night H...

The door slams in front my face before I can hear the last of her sentence.
Lilly must really want to speak to Hanako alone. I wonder what it could be she is talking about... 

I turn around and head back to my dormitory.



As I arrive, I find Kenji stumbling with his key.

Hisao: Hey Kenji, how's the studying going?

Kenji jumps at the sound of his name. There's nothing quite like startling Kenji at the end the day.
As his body turns around, his right arm ejects towards me, pointing his key at me as if it was a spear.
It would be a little more dramatic if I wasn't 20 feet away.

Kenji: Who's there! Is it one of you damn girls?!? You're not taking me down! I know the truth...

Hisao: Calm down, it's just me, Hisao.

Kenji: Oh a fellow fighter of the feminist ways... How's it going man?

Hisao: Fine. Are you ready for the exams next week?

Kenji: Exams? What exams?

If anyone were to forget the exams at the end of the year, it would be Kenji. Actually, I take that back. First it would be that Rin girl with her head in the clouds, then Kenji.

Hisao: The exams at the end of ever semester? The one that decides your fate in college? Don't tell me you already forgot...

Kenji: I was never told of that. It's all the females trying to take the world! They're trying to control who succeeds and who fails! Well I won't fail, I'll show them!

Hisao: Sounds like you have a lot of studying to do.

Kenji: Thanks man, if we don't stick together we'll never over come those women!

Kenji walks through the door and slams it shut behind him.
What a life he lives, worrying about the female gender in the world. I wonder if it's all he thinks about sometimes...

As I retire for the night, I take two of the last ten pills in the container.
I don't really need them anymore, but the nurse says I still need to take two a day. He says Even when I leave I'll still need to take them.
He also said if I had exercise more, I would't have such a bad heart.
But it's not like I can control my heart's condition.
I mean I'm still trying to fix it, but I know I'm gonna have to deal with my heart problem for the rest of my life.
Yet the thought of taking these pills for the rest of my life... If I had exercise more often, I may have actually been off them by now. 
I wonder if I should have ran with that girl... Emi.
But then I would have never had time for Hanako.

I pull the covers over my head, letting all the thoughts fade with the exception of one; better days with Hanako up ahead.



*Knock, Knock, Knock*

???: Is anyone alive in there?

Why do I have to get up. The world can go on without me for a few more hours.

???: If you don't get up, we'll break the door down!

Hisao: Okay! I'm up! I'm up.

I walk over to the door and yank  it open.

Hisao: Yes?

Misha and Shizune stand in the hallway giving me funny looks.
Misha bursts out laughing, as Shizune looks away.

Misha: Wahahaha, Hisha did you forget to dress before answering your door?

What does she... Oh crap, I forgot to throw a shirt and a pair of pants on.

I slam the door shut and rush to get dressed.

Misha: Oh Hisao, you didn't have to shut the door for us... We're friends right?

Not the best word I would use for our 'bond'.

Hisao: If this about a student council meeting, I'm not...

Misha: We have a letter from your parents!

A letter? From my parents?
I've only got one other letter since my stay here, and that didn't end well.

This is the first time my parents actually sent me any contact since my transfer.
I wonder what they wrote. There are so many possibilities...

Note: Son, good job in high school.

They could have told me that at graduation.

Note: Son, we want you to work in a Chinese sweatshop instead of going to college.

Can't be that, otherwise they wouldn't have threaten me to get great grades.

Note: Son, we are moving to Canada.

It's too late for that, and why would they want to move to Canada?

Note: Son, if we find that you've been with a girl...

I hope not.

I yank the door open. The two of the are still standing in the hallway. Shizune hands me the envelope, the weight of it catching me by surprise.
It's top light to be just a letter.

Hisao: Are you sure?

Shizune: ... 

Misha: Yes, but we should go to class, we're gonna to be late.

We head off to class with the envelope in my hand.
As Shizune and Misha sign to each other, I fiddle with the envelope.
The contents inside doesn't move or make any sound when shaken, nor does it bend when folded.
I want to open it now, but there's a clear message on the back of the envelope.

'Open at a table'

Well, it can wait until lunch.

We walk into class finding only half of the class there yet. 
I guess that's what you get when you make it optional to go to the morning review classes.
I glance to the back of the room to see if Hanako had come in yet.
As I guessed though, she isn't here.
Normally we would meet up and walk to class together, but Misha and Shizune kinda made me change my schedule...

I pull out my Japanese and English books to go over for the exams. The two main villains in my academic life!
Although they may not be my main focus for college, I still need to pass those tests with somewhat high marks.

Mutou walks around the class making sure nobody needs individual help. 
Surprisingly, Misha keeps calling him over to her desk. 
She's changed over night since last week.
It's almost as if she understands the importance of the exams coming up.

The classroom door opens and Hanako enters. Her eyes dart to my desk and slowly creeps upwards. When our eyes meet, she pouts, almost as if in disapproval.

She walks briskly to her desk and takes a seat. 

I take it she waited for me... Well this looks bad, I should explain what happen to her.

I start to get up to move my desk next to hers, but the first bell rings just as I stand up. 

Mutou: Is something wrong Hisao?

Everyone's eyes fall upon me. It's worse when you're not having a heart attack...

Hisao: No, I... I was just stretching.

At least when you're having a heart attack, no ones snickering...

Mutou: Very well, it's time to take your seat.

I sit down and grab my notebook. If I just act causal, no one will even care what just happen.

Mutou: Okay, everyone, class has started. We'll begin with learning special equations you can use on the math portion of the exams-

The class period is slow and quiet. I've always enjoyed math somewhat, but this? This is painful.
Eventually I lose my focus and, like most of the students, zone out.
The envelope my parents enters my mind.
What did my parents write to me that they couldn't say to me at graduation?

A white blur zoo passes in the corner of my eye.
The perfect distraction; how can I not resist to look?
It zooms by again from the right side to the left this time and this time I catch a glimpse of a white bird.
I search for the bird with no avail. Finally, it reappears, placeing itself on top of a thin electric wire.
As it outstretches its wings, I see the detail of the large wings. If it wanted, it could fly across the world and strife for greatness. It's not trapped to a wooden shackle studying for its future fate. 
I wish I could be that bird; but then again, I don't.

I glanced back to Hanako seeing her struggling to keep up. Mutuo doesn't seem to notice any of the students with his back on us. He's erasing the board to write new equations and continues to speak quickly. I raise my hand supported with a large cough.

Hisao: Err, can you slow down a bit?

Mutuo: Oh, yes. I forgot you need to be understanding what I'm saying. I'll try to slow down.

My eyes return to Hanako who gives me a smile of forgiveness.  She maybe less shy with me, but she's still not opening up to others around her.
I turn my head and return to writing down the notes.

The school bell finally rings. 
Mr. Mutuo nods his head and all the students pile out of the class leaving Mr. Mutuo, Hanako and me alone.
I shove the last of my textbooks into my bag and stand, swinging the bad onto my shoulders.
Hanako rises and starts to walk towards the exit. I follow her as she passes my desk.

As the two of us start our way to the tea room, Mr. Mutuo stops us. 

Mutuo: Just before you two go, I was hoping I could ask you both a question.

Hisao: Yes?

Mutuo: You two have made a huge improvement. The pair of you are two of the top three in my class. 

Mutuo: I am interested if each of you know what you are planning to do later in life.

Why is he asking us now? And why the two of us together? Normally he pulls me out of class to ask me these kind of questions.
Hanako grabs my arm and squeezes. I can tell she doesn't feel that comfortable about the subject.

Hisao: To be honest, I still don't know. The suggestion you told me earlier this year seems to be my best choice.

Mutuo nods. His eyes then turn to Hanako. 
She shakes her head without looking up.

Mutuo: You two need to prepare for what's out there, it's not willing to wait for anyone.

Mutuo: It would be a shame to lose two great students because they were unsure what to do.

We both nod.

Mutuo: Good, now go enjoy lunch. We've only got a few days before finals.

With that, the two of us leave his room.
As we walk to the staircase, we exchange faces.

Hanako: Do you think he knows? I mean about us?

I give a smile. He's probably seen secret couples in his years as a teacher.
I'ld be surprised if he didn't have atleast a suspicion.
Then again, we always hang out together.

Hisao: Probably not, but I think he knows we're at least friends.

We arrive at the tea room to find Lilly waiting outside the door.

Lilly: Ahh, there you two are.

She maybe blind, but her hearing is incredible. To be able to know when someone is near by a sense of sound...
I wonder what happens when it's someone she is not expecting.
Maybe she can tell a person by her sense of smell as well.

Hisao: Sorry we're a little late, we got held up.

Hanako: I think... Lilly wants to tell you something.

Lilly nods and beckons us inside by opening the door.
The two of us head inside and sit down next to each other.
She shuts the door and works her way to her chair.

I can tell this is about the conversation the two had yesterday.
Does Lilly feel that I shouldn't have asked Hanako to go so suddenly?
Or does Lilly feel I forced Hanako to go?

Lilly: I put a lot of thought into my trip to Scotland, and I have been able to come up with a compromise with my sister.

Lilly: Although we will have to return home, we can wait a little longer. 

Lilly: Akira was actually more willing to hold off than I thought and said she found the perfect job to keep her occupied.

Hisao: And I take it you now want to go with us to the beach house?

Lilly: If the offer is still available.

Hisao: Of course!

I honestly wish it was just me and Hanako, but I can tell it would be for the best. Besides, my parents would be at the house anyways and if it was just the two of us with them, it would have been extremely awkward for us.

Hisao: What kind of job was Akira able to find?

Lilly: Akira wouldn't tell, she said it was a special job. One that's best not to mention.

New thoughts and images of Akira's job flow through my mind, some of which are best not to ask about. Damn a man's first thoughts! 

The three of us eat our lunch.
It's always peaceful and quiet in the tea room.
To imagine if I had never stumbled in here by mistake, I would have never meet Lilly.
Which leads to me never introducing myself Hanako.
It's funny how things work in life.

I watch as Hanako helps Lilly remove a bit of rice off her cheek.
Normally Lilly is helping Hanako, but it's little exceptions such as these that show the balance of the two's relationship.
Hanako describes about the surroundings in great detail, while Lilly walks forward through the surroundings as a human shield for Hanako.

I fidget to find a comfortable spot in my chair. 
It's not until after sliding left and right a few times do I realize the envelope in my back pocket.
I pull out my parents envelope from my pocket. The size and weight of it still concerns me.
I finally open the envelope and pull out a small stack of 1,000 yen notes and a letter.
Hanako glances over and stares at the stack of money in front of me.

Hanako: What's that letter... Who sent that?

Lilly: What did he get?

Hisao: A letter and some money from my parents.

I begin to read the note outload, each word new to me as well as to the audience around me.

Note: Dear Hisao,

As you know we are proud to be your parents and have stuck with you all the way through your life. Your mother and I have cradled you as a small baby to the young man you are now. We will always love you and support you whenever you need help.

As you may have already found, there is almost 15,000 yen in this envelope. (Don't lose it!) There are also four train tickets attached to the back of this letter for you and three of your friends. These are for your stay in the beach house this summer. The key will be in the 2nd flower pot to the right of the door.

Your mother and I are caught in a business transaction with a very important client. If this goes well, I'll be promoted to the head of Chinese affairs. Sadly, he is not willing to put it off until the middle of summer so your mom and I have to stay in China until we can get this deal sorted out.

We were able to hire the daughter of an old-time co-worker and friend to look after the house we are in China. She'll arrive at the train station to meet you there and give you the other 15,000 yen for the summer.

Love,
Dad and Mom

P.S. - Her name is...

Hanako: What's her name?

Hisao: Akira.

The three us start laughing. None of us can believe the thought of Arika babysitting us.

The bell rings calling us back to the school.
I hand one of the tickets to each of them, leaving me with one spare.

Lilly: It seems there would be an extra ticket if you read the letter correctly.

Hisao: Yeah, and I think I know who I want to give it too.

We all get up and exit the tea room. It will be one of the last time we will ever see it again. Except for Lilly of course, for her it'll be one of the last times she ever sets foot in it.
Closing the door behind us, I think of the two people I could give the ticket to.

There's Kenji, who I'm sure wouldn't mind joining us on the trip. 
Then again, maybe we would mind him going on the trip.

There's also Yuuko who could take time off work to spend the beginning of summer with us.

Or I could just not give the ticket to anyone, and just have it be the three of us... Plus Arika.

*Invite Kenji
*Invite Yuuko
*Let it be just the three of us.

(Kenji)
I think I'll try to invite Kenji to come with us. He maybe busy with his fallout shelter, but a little fresh air won't kill him.

Back in the classroom, everyone is sitting down like mindless zombies. I swear, it's almost as if the school is damaging our brains rather than developing them.
And the hot air doesn't help either. The windows are open, but all it's doing is letting in hotter humid air.
I take my seat and as soon as I do, Misha passes me a note.

Note: Do you have anything planned for the summer?

I take out a blue pen and write my reply under her question.

Note: Yes, why?

Note: Well the two of us wanted to know if you wanted to meet up.

Note: I don't think I can, I'm staying in a beach house.

Misha gives me an unsatisfied look and signals it to Shizune.

Shizune seems hurt but she tries to hide it. She smiles, nods, and changes her focus back to the front of class.

I can't say I don't feel bad for turning her down, but I already have plans with Hanako and Lilly. Besides, Misha and Shizune will most likely be happily together for the summer.

I close my eyes and ponder what will happen this break.

For the first few days the three of us would relax by the beach. 
I imagine Lilly would wear a summer dress and listen to the sound of ocean tide. 
Arika would be watching next to her boyfriend. I still have yet to meet him... 
Then there would be Hanako, I'm not sure what she would be doing. She may just end up sitting off to the side next to the beach building a sand castle.
Still, it brings up a lot of questions, like has Hanako gone to the beach before?
Does she know how to swim?
Has she been comfortable near a public beach?
Does a bikini suit or a one piece? Probably the one piece to hide her scars...

A hard poke to my lower rib cage wakes my from dream. I look to Misha who gives a smirk and glances to my desk.

I look down to see another note.

Note: What are you thinking about? Your cheeks are turning red.

Ignoring her, I return my attention to the front of the class. There's a lot of notes since last time, but it's all review.
I start to write the new notes to look busy, but my imagination is still at work.

I can see Arika driving all of us into town. We may find a small bar and have a few drinks and laughs. Then again, maybe we shouldn't go out for drinks.

Mutuo: Do you all understand what is on the board?

Everyone mumbles what sounds like a group yes. The typical response on a Monday.

I look back to see Hanako doodling in her notebook. The picture has two figures, a purple haired girl and a boy, holding hands on a beach.

My heart begins to beat slightly faster, a warm feeling overtakes me inside. The hot air is really not helping. 
Then it hits me.
A sharp, searing pain on the left side of my head. My heart races as the force against my head pushes me right. I try to control my self, but my heart gets the better of me. I quickly slip onto the floor as my hands try to grasp anything nearby. I hear a few screams and look up to the faces of my classmates.

The world becomes grey and hazy around me as everything disappears. I've never felt such a sensation before. The heart attacks I've had in the past have always had me blank out or lose any recollection, but this time I can see an image of Hanako right in front of me. The blackness surrounding us becomes a blinding bright light introducing me to an open area of long grass and large trees. Besides us lies a calm, shallow river. Hanako opens her mouth.

Hanako: I... Can't.

I do not understand what she is talking about, nor do I know where we are.
I want to ask, but the words don't come out of my mouth. Instead, my mind fills with thoughts of disappointment and sorrow.
Their not my thoughts, but rather emotions I can sense.

Hisao: You have to try, for both of us, it's the only way.

I have no control over what I say, and by the way it's heading, it sounds like I'm trying to convince her of something.

Hanako: I told you I... I would try, but... It's not easy...

Hisao: I know and I'll always try to be here for you, but what happens when I'm not here?

Hanako: Don't say that!

Her voice echoes through the valley.

Hisao: You know about my weak heart, and It's not getting better. Please, I'm trying for you but I need you to try for me too.

The image crumbles in front of me. The last to go is Hanako's face. 
After that, my head goes blank.

I wake up to purple hair covering my face. As I push the hair aside, I find myself late at night in the nurse's office. 
Slowly, I lift my shoulders to sit up straight.
A  get half way due to the head on top of my heart. 
Hanako's face is pointed towards me, with tears running all the way to her chin. It must be late at night if she fell asleep crying...

I lay back down and stare at the sight.

Her right cheek is pressed up against my heart, and if it wasn't for the school uniform, our scars would be touching.

I could wake her and ask her what time it is, but she looks tired...

*Wake her
*Let her sleep

(Wake her)
I gently shake her left shoulder to wake her.
Her eyes begin to open as she lifts her head. I doubt she meant to fall asleep on top of me.
It's not until her eyes reach mine, does she fully wake up.

Hanako: Hisao, you're awake!

Before I can say anything, I receive a hug taking all the air out of me.

Hisao: It's... Nice... Seeing... You... Too.

She stops and backs away. Her face changes from relieved to worrisome. 

Hanako: Sorry, I forgot the... State you are in. The nurse said you may not be able to do anything too... Physically stressing. I hope I didn't hurt you.

Hisao: It's okay, honestly. How long was I out?

Hanako: About two days. You didn't miss any notes, just some of the review. The final exams are...

She bits her lips to stop herself. If my logic is correct tonight is Wensday and tomorrow is Thursday. The day just before the exams.

Hisao: The next day, meaning I've got only a day left before my test.

Hanako nods her head and looks down. She worries for me deeply, but there's nothing she can do about it.

Hisao: Don't worry, I just need to prepare a little. I know math, science, and history well enough, all I need is help in writing and english.

I can't lie, I feel like I'm doomed to fail, but there's nothing I can do about it.
I glance past Hanako to read the time on the clock.
1:35... A.M...

Hisao: Hanako, how long have you been here?

Hanako: Since you've been here. Lilly has come in to check on you a few times, but she had to leave to study for her tests. 

Hamako: She brought some books and food for the two of us, hoping you would wake up.

A loud yawn coming from office interrupts her. The door opens as the nurse walks out with a tired expression.

Nurse: Must have doze off to sleep. Hisao, are you finally awake?

Hisao: Yes, I didn't mean to wake you.

Nurse: It's not like you can choose wether to be conscious or not. You took a nasty knock to the head however and your heart condition didnt help either.

Nurse: You may keep telling me you don't need those pills, but you do. And you should be doing more exercise... If it wasn't for the fact it was a head injury that knocked you out, you'ld be in the hospital for special treatment again.

Hisao: This happened because something hit me?

Nurse: Not just something, a bird traveling pretty fast hit you in the head. Thought you'ld be out for another day, but I guess you really want to study for Friday.

He gives a smirk. It's not the best type of humor, but he's trying to help.

Nurse: I took the liberty of refilling your medicine, and leaving a calling card in your room. You're parents told me you were alone, so the numbers for emergencies.

Hisao: Aren't you staying here?

Nurse: Well a special client convinced me to visit here child every now and then to check he daughter is good enough to stay out of a wheel chair...

Nurse: Their staying in the same neighborhood as you, so figured if I have to do two housecalls, I may as well do them at the same time. If you can, try to have your heart your heart attacks during then.

He grins again. Talk about a sick sense of humor...

Hanako has been pretty quiet. I got a feeling, she's creeped out by the nurse as well.

Nurse: Any way, it's late and I'm sure you want to go back to your dorm to get some sleep. 

Hisao: I can go? Just like that?

Nurse: It was just an accident, a natural one too. It's something that someone like you with your problem can't help.

Someone like me? Is he implying it's my fault that I had a heart attack?

Nurse: Now the two of you grab some shut eye... You wouldn't want to fall asleep or unconscious for your exams.

All in one swift motion, he picks us up and out the door in a matter of seconds.
The slamming of the door which follows signifies that we had been official kicked out of the nurse's office.
Talk about friendly...

Hanako: I like him.

Hisao: Hmm, How come?

Hanako: He's funny.

There are so many things wrong with that statement.



The moonlight illuminates the path back to our rooms. Only our breath penetrates the cold late-spring air. 
Hanako's right arm wraps itself tightly around mine. She pulls herself closer to me, her rough skin hidden behind her sleeve brushing against mine.
I enjoy being close to Hanako and can't help to inch myself closer to her as well.

Not a sound is made as we walk back to the dormitories, up the stairs, and to Hanako's room.  It's not until we reach the door does she speak.

Hanako: I was really worried about you.

She turns her head, her eyes meeting my gaze.

Hanako: The thought of you... Leaving... I'm not sure  how life will be outside of school, but...

Tears begin to build up and her smile fades.
I can already tell where this is heading, but there is no way to avoid it. 

Hanako: If you... Go... There won't be anyone I can... talk to...

At each pause, a tear trickles down her cheeks. Each one leaving a mark in her shirt.

Hanako: You can't leave me alone... Not like all my friends before. 

Her voice cracks and so do her tear ducts. In order to stop crying, Hanako shuts her eyes and pulls me towards her as if I were a rag doll.

Hanako: Promise me, Promise me you won't leave me!

Thanks to the bird who knocked me out; after all this, I'm going hunting.
I hug her to calm her done and whisper into her ear.

Hisao: Shh, it's okay. I'm not leaving you.

Hanako: Then promise me.

Hisao: With my heart condition, I can't. I can only try to improve my health and hope for the best.

Hanako: That's not fair!

Hanako's last few words echo in the hallway. Thankfully, nobody hears the shouting; but Hanako pulls back in embarrassment.

Hisao: How about we make a deal?

Hisao: What if I promised to make my heart stronger during the summer, but then you have to promise to talk to other people.

Hanako: What?

Hisao: We made a similar deal a while back and we both kind of...

I pause, searching for the correct word to use without placing the blame on anyone. 

Hanako: Forgot.

Hanako: I... I will...

She lifts her head and shows me a determined smile... Or at least a 'Hanako' determined smile.

Hanako: I-I'll try to be more... Social, but then, you have to promise to become stronger.

Hisao: So we have a deal?

She nods. It's all I could have asked from her.
However, this does mean I will have to get in shape again...

Hanako opens the door, steps inside, and quickly jars the door so only her head pops out.

Hanako: Good night, Hisao.

Hisao: Good night.

The door closes, leaving me to stand in the hallway alone.
I'm asking a lot from her, but thats what couples do when their in love... Or that's what people say.



[fades to black and next scene is in Hisao's room. An alarm goes off, waking Hisao up]

Huh? What time is it? It feels as if it's only been a few hours.

4:33 A.M... I slept for two and a half hours.. Great.
Why am I getting up so early? Something about running or studying. 
I should do one of them, or I could just go back to sleep.

*Get up and exercise
*Get down to studying
*Get back to sleep

(Get up and exercise)
Now I remember, I was going to run some laps down at the track. Its best if I start now, than putting it off until later.

The script format was a little clunky at first, but given its general similarity to the style of the visual novel, it was easy enough to get used to.

I couldn't help but feel a little copped out when Lilly revealed that she'd be able to make it after all, but I like where things are going so far. With the Nurse and Kenji(?) it looks like we're getting an ensemble cast.

The format with the options like a VN are a minor disturbance. It just caught me off guard. The first time I saw them, I was pretty confused. Anyway, it's an ok story. I think you're still calling Lilly's sister "Arika".

Can't wait to read the rest of this story. I like the way it is I can easily tell who is talking.

I've updated the 10th post! (shortly after I post this)

I feel as if I got Hanako breaking down too often... And I feel like I'm being too repetitive.

I have a question for the part coming up. As you can tell, he's going to meet Emi again who will help him become stronger. However, there's a moment I'm gonna add which brings up Emi's father. I know she wouldn't talk about her father in front of Hisao (don't forget, the two don't really know each other), but would she just push the issue aside or be defensive? For example, would she say "I rather not talk about it" or "just drop it!". I want to say the latter, but I'm not the best when it comes to the other characters and their reactions.