Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat May 25, 2013 6:08 pm
Okay, but blame robin when I'm finished. didn't want to say as not many believe me when I tell them parts of this.
Age 4 I lost the opportunity to be diagnosed with autism as the person who noticed it prompted my brother to beg to quit preschool, so I wasn't diagnosed until I was 17, since then I have been bullied and ridiculed for my eccentricities and insecurities through first and middle school. One group of girls stole my shoes and threw them into an electric substation, because they knew I wouldn't notice the DANGER OF DEATH! Signs. I spent most of childhood in the library, hiding their. My only friend at that time getting transferred when I was 8.
In middle school it got worse. With a school that promoted "physical and social interaction" I ended up with multiple cuts bruises from diving to avoid football's, kids thinking it funny to pick on the short kid. also had a group of girls take an interest, but took my avoiding people as playing with them which only stopped in secondary School.
Secondary school in the first year, I contemplated suicide. Our school was brand new. State of the art equipment to use and escape the outside world s hatred, a library which I once got detention for by staying in their for three lessons. But because it was new it had no reputation. So it had to accept any it could get. Including students who had been expelled for violent behaviour from previous schools
Funny thing about English education system. It takes three expulsions to get put in a "special facility".
My reporting of what they did to me, accounted for 30% of them being expelled in the first year. after the second year I started acting the clown, purposely trying to get people to avoid me. And it worked. Until the French residential trip. When I got my childhood friend (and next door neighbour) respond to my confession with a laugh in the face. And had my roommate sexually assault me (France still refuses to recognise, forced male intercourse as rape, only sexual assault). Still have nightmares, and its the main reason I refused to go out with robin at first. Thought she deserved someone better. Less damaged.
In my final year I met clarrabelle robin's Aka rockin robin (she doesn't mind, she doesn't have Facebook, Twitter or any of that so she's not too worried about data theft). Alongside her and two other friends, I got my life back together, got my diagnosis of aspergers (an apology to my brother too, not that he honestly meant anything to him) learned learned to trust again. And to love.
You know why I like hanakos bad ending so much? Because she wasn't stuttering, she wasn't hiding her scars, she wasn't acting like everything was okay, when inside her true feelings were tearing herself apart. In that one scene she stopped hiding and showed the world, technically hisao, what she truly felt. Before today, I've never fully done that. And now I feel drained.
Age 4 I lost the opportunity to be diagnosed with autism as the person who noticed it prompted my brother to beg to quit preschool, so I wasn't diagnosed until I was 17, since then I have been bullied and ridiculed for my eccentricities and insecurities through first and middle school. One group of girls stole my shoes and threw them into an electric substation, because they knew I wouldn't notice the DANGER OF DEATH! Signs. I spent most of childhood in the library, hiding their. My only friend at that time getting transferred when I was 8.
In middle school it got worse. With a school that promoted "physical and social interaction" I ended up with multiple cuts bruises from diving to avoid football's, kids thinking it funny to pick on the short kid. also had a group of girls take an interest, but took my avoiding people as playing with them which only stopped in secondary School.
Secondary school in the first year, I contemplated suicide. Our school was brand new. State of the art equipment to use and escape the outside world s hatred, a library which I once got detention for by staying in their for three lessons. But because it was new it had no reputation. So it had to accept any it could get. Including students who had been expelled for violent behaviour from previous schools
Funny thing about English education system. It takes three expulsions to get put in a "special facility".
My reporting of what they did to me, accounted for 30% of them being expelled in the first year. after the second year I started acting the clown, purposely trying to get people to avoid me. And it worked. Until the French residential trip. When I got my childhood friend (and next door neighbour) respond to my confession with a laugh in the face. And had my roommate sexually assault me (France still refuses to recognise, forced male intercourse as rape, only sexual assault). Still have nightmares, and its the main reason I refused to go out with robin at first. Thought she deserved someone better. Less damaged.
In my final year I met clarrabelle robin's Aka rockin robin (she doesn't mind, she doesn't have Facebook, Twitter or any of that so she's not too worried about data theft). Alongside her and two other friends, I got my life back together, got my diagnosis of aspergers (an apology to my brother too, not that he honestly meant anything to him) learned learned to trust again. And to love.
You know why I like hanakos bad ending so much? Because she wasn't stuttering, she wasn't hiding her scars, she wasn't acting like everything was okay, when inside her true feelings were tearing herself apart. In that one scene she stopped hiding and showed the world, technically hisao, what she truly felt. Before today, I've never fully done that. And now I feel drained.
