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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:36 pm
by Alexbond45
I don't know.

I really thought I had it bad, In my High School, I ALWAYS get screwed in 4th Period, I had English on A Days and Spanish with Ms. Lamandri (Nicknamed: The Class from Hell)
In the beginning, I had to go up at 7 AM every morning for the first 3 weeks before school, and then, for the 1st two months, I had to go to morning band! I love band, but It is so much harder than people see it to be :roll: .

Anyway, Marching Band counts for PE, So I consider myself Lucky.

American Education isn't very good, Especially Texas.

EDIT: American PUBLIC education

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:14 pm
by Xerxes
Alexbond45 wrote:I don't know.

I really thought I had it bad, In my High School, I ALWAYS get screwed in 4th Period, I had English on A Days and Spanish with Ms. Lamandri (Nicknamed: The Class from Hell)
In the beginning, I had to go up at 7 AM every morning for the first 3 weeks before school, and then, for the 1st two months, I had to go to morning band! I love band, but It is so much harder than people see it to be :roll: .

Anyway, Marching Band counts for PE, So I consider myself Lucky.

American Education isn't very good, Especially Texas.

EDIT: American PUBLIC education
If you think that public education in your country is bad, here's worse, because public teacher's syndicates were/are in constant conflict with goverment for their wages or salary. If public teachers aren't pleased, they go on strike, suspending classes. No wonder why there's a high dropout rate in public elementary and high schools.

It's a strange country, because public universities, with all their problems (including teacher strikes), they actually manage to keep with good standards of education and with the fact that are FREE, you only have to pay for your education materials (books n' stuff), they are on par or even higher than most private universities and tertiary education schools, that are awfully expensive.

This time I understand them, because collegue teachers don't earn much.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:18 pm
by Daitengu
Alexbond45 wrote:I don't know.

I really thought I had it bad, In my High School, I ALWAYS get screwed in 4th Period, I had English on A Days and Spanish with Ms. Lamandri (Nicknamed: The Class from Hell)
In the beginning, I had to go up at 7 AM every morning for the first 3 weeks before school, and then, for the 1st two months, I had to go to morning band! I love band, but It is so much harder than people see it to be :roll: .

Anyway, Marching Band counts for PE, So I consider myself Lucky.

American Education isn't very good, Especially Texas.

EDIT: American PUBLIC education
You got up at 7?! Man, my high school in NC started at 6:30 am. I had to get up at 5am, and ride a bus for 30 minutes to get to school lol

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:55 pm
by Exbando
Alexbond45 wrote:I don't know.

I really thought I had it bad, In my High School, I ALWAYS get screwed in 4th Period, I had English on A Days and Spanish with Ms. Lamandri (Nicknamed: The Class from Hell)
In the beginning, I had to go up at 7 AM every morning for the first 3 weeks before school, and then, for the 1st two months, I had to go to morning band! I love band, but It is so much harder than people see it to be :roll: .

Anyway, Marching Band counts for PE, So I consider myself Lucky.

American Education isn't very good, Especially Texas.

EDIT: American PUBLIC education
My high school started at 7:12 AM. I had to have my alarm set for 5 in the morning, just to make sure I could get up in time to catch the bus.

My marching band practice was always after school, for 4 hours. I could have used marching band as a replacement for a physical education credit, but it was so much paperwork that it wasn't even worth it. Also, my school didn't consider marching band a sport, even though we practiced longer than any other sport in the school.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:00 pm
by Gelastic
This thread is amazing and the people in it are amazing too. That said, I guess I have a story to tell too.

Reading back on my story, it is quite boring for a while, so thank you if you read it all. In case you don't want to read it all, I'll summarize it up to 5th grade. I was solitary and shy, I was the only Asian in my classes, my mom turned schizophrenic, and I never got close to anyone, never sharing my opinion or thoughts to anything.

I'm not sure as to where to start, I guess I'll start with my childhood. Growing up, I didn't have very many friends but I had a pretty good life. My parents were together, and I had a brother and sister and we never fought. I didn't speak one word until I was 4 years old. I played with toys to pass the time, such as hot wheels and items as weird as billiards balls, until I was 10. I had one true friend and neighbor, named Chuckie, until I was in 1st grade. We didn't know much about each other, but he didn't have many friends either. We became best friends who would hang out on weekends. He moved away because of his dad's job, still close by, but we slowly stopped visiting and talking to each other. I haven't contacted him in almost a decade, revealing right now that I am 14 years old.

In 1st grade, I still hadn't made friends and was quite lonely until I entered a gifted program, which apparently I took a test that I didn't remember in kindergarten. There were hardly any Asian people at my school, me being Japanese, so the girls took an interest to me. I was cute to them, and one might have developed a crush on me who had either stopped having a crush on me, or her friend was messing with my mind. The boys in the class still believed that girls had cooties, I went along with it even though I knew it was absurd. The boys, including me, had banded together in a sort of group. I didn't talk much, like Hanako, answering yes or no questions and answering other questions with very short responses. Moving onto 2nd grade, I had been permanently put into gifted classes with the same people I was with in the gifted program. Nothing much happened in 2nd grade, I still hadn't talked much to anyone, and was solitary.

In 3rd grade, I entered a sort of depression for reasons unknown. I was smart, being in gifted programs, but I almost never did my homework. My teacher would try to help me with my problems, making it worse by bringing my parents into it. I cried the most in my life throughout 3rd grade. The homework was really easy, so I never did understand why I was depressed in the 3rd grade. I got into my first and only fight in 3rd grade, on the bus. Everyone called me Jackie Chan, with one guy who started a fight with me for no reason. Luckily, being stereotyped into everyone thinking I know martial arts, I stopped the fight just by yelling "STOP!" I had never opened up to anyone, nor shared my opinions with anyone on anything.

In 4th grade, my feelings of depression lessened, and I made a good friend. His name was Michael and I made friends through him by his friendly attitude. I guess I didn't have a true friend like him, not even until today. We would hang out with each other in moderation. Even with him as my best friend, I still never opened up to him or anyone. Later on, my mom suffered from extreme paranoia. She became schizophrenic which made her think there was a man stalking us, which I am sure was not possible. She told Michael's parents about this man, warning them of him and what he says. His parents knew that my mom was crazy, denying Michael from hanging out with me anymore. They moved away because of this, not telling me goodbye or that he was moving. I was alone again, back to square one.

There I was, in 5th grade, still alone. Girls still found me cute because of me being the only Asian and my small person. I became part of a group of friends being 5 of us, all guys. Keith, Jonathan, Federico, Boma, Gregory, and Tommy(me). There were two bullies named D'Andre and Kevin. They acted like complete jerks to everyone in our little group. I let them bully me, fortunately they had no intention of doing it physically. I still didn't open up to anyone, bottling up my emotions. I was also still solitary, despite the 5 of us talking everyday in school. I spent the last few months of elementary school with a girl named Melissa, who I had developed feelings for. We enjoyed talking with each other, but we never got close. We were at a point where if we were to hang out out of school, it'd be a date. Me being the solitary guy I am, I never told her how I feel and we parted ways. Oh yes, I almost forgot. I encountered a problem with my heart. Tachycardia. The day I first knew something was wrong, my heart literally raced uncontrollably for about an hour. I felt lightheaded and I could see my heart pounding, the skin on my chest vibrating. I told no one of this, and it eventually went away. It didn't come back until a few months later which I then told my teacher. No one knew of my problem and I felt scared and, like always, alone. Not even the paramedics could help me, leaving me in this unbreakable state of my heart beating fast uncontrollably. My heart problem came back within the first few weeks of summer. I told no one of it and let it pass.

6th grade was a surprise to me in change of difficulty from 5th grade. My heart problem occurred more and more often as time went on. Escalating to only days before it would occur again. My group of friends did go to the same middle school, but we had different schedules, causing us to split apart. Yet again, I was alone. My mom's condition had only gotten worse, driving me into depression. She would ask me very weird questions, some of which would shock you. I was in a magnet program, advanced program, where a C would not be acceptable and you would be given two warnings, the third where they would kick you out. My grades dropped, something that hadn't happened since 3rd grade. I nearly got kicked out of the program, with 2 warnings.

7th grade. Nothing had changed. I was still solitary, with little to no friends, never opening up to anyone. My grades improved slightly, back to A's and B's, but with a lot more A's than B's. With nothing to do with my time, I began looking at hentai, which slightly changed me. I was a nice guy, very shy, never letting anyone get an impression on me. I'm still like that, but my mind had become perverted. I was always more mature than my age because I only truly talked to my brother and his friends, who were in high school. I had known what sex was and all those types of things in 3rd grade. Of course, knowing what sex is at a young age doesn't make me more mature, but with excess time, I thought. A lot. Youtube became my best friend, passing time by entertaining me with gameplay commentary and humorous videos. My brother confessed to our family that he is gay, and has been gay since he was in the 5th grade. My dad refusing to believe so, my mom and sister only slightly surprised by this. I felt no change when he confessed, mainly because we were never close. I had my first surgery, which was heart surgery that would stop the tachycardia from occurring. I was excluded from P.E., only to be alone even further.

Now, present time. 8th grade. I was still excluded from P.E., giving me even more time to think. Without any changes, I passed everyday by, living like a robot, forced to follow the same pattern. In the 2nd grading period, I consulted my doctor into admitting me back into P.E. I could only do light exercise, and no sports. I wasn't good at sports, so I didn't mind. I was like Rin, trying to find myself. I got into visual novels, discovered that I like singing and beatboxing, am average at drawing, and still, I am solitary without getting close to anyone.

Wow, this story is really long and quite...boring. I guess I live a life in solitary. KS means a lot to me because of its emotional impact on me, as with everyone else, and characters with problems very similar to mine. A thing I can't believe is that I have a crush on Hanako. I didn't think it's possible to be in love with pixels, but sadly, I can't get Hanako out of my mind. I will take my leave, but I have two questions for all of you. Would you have suspected me to be 14 years old if I didn't admit it? Do you think of me differently because I am 14?

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:33 pm
by Mirrormn
Gelastic wrote:Would you have suspected me to be 14 years old if I didn't admit it?
You write better than 99% of high school students, let alone 8th graders (I'm actually kind of an expert on the topic). Impressive.
Gelastic wrote:Do you think of me differently because I am 14?
Different than what? You admit your age right at the beginning of your post, so there's no way anyone could form preconceptions about you without already having the knowledge of your age as part of their first impression. Differently than older people, I guess? Sure. You seem intriguingly mature for a 14 year old, but you will basically change completely as a person several times in the coming decade of your life. That's just how human development works. It's pretty weird.

Welcome to the forums, anyway!

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:54 pm
by Daitengu
Well Gelastic,

Considering how well you remember your elementary years I would have guessed you were young anyway. I tend to treat kids and adults the same anyway, which pisses off parents, but the kids respect honesty in adults.

As it is, I was one of two asian kids in school. I never really knew the other one, we were always in different classes. I don't really think your heart condition played any role in you being alone. I can only say that because I was also forever alone in school. Ever notice the group make up of the kids around you? Rather segregated right? In my teen years I hypothesized that it's unconscious racism. In a "he's different so I don't exactly feel comfortable around him" kind of way. It's one of them innocent cruelties. It takes effort to fit in with others and you still feel alone. Just alone in a crowd.

The best way to connect with your peers would be to find people that share interests. Which can be pretty hard if you don;t have more mainstream interests. Personally, I tended to like being around the art kids since I loved art at your age. It was never true friends, but it was a sanctuary of a class and we all got along. Really helped me get through school and life, since my parents were constantly fighting, and separating in middle school.

Aside from hentai and VNs, pick an interest that's more... universal, and go from there. Computer programming was a pretty fun course of me, and all us nerds got along there too. Learning to make games was fun by itself, so even being the recluse that I was and not really talking for two months after the course started, I still had fun learning.

At any rate if you written off your current semester, think about putting down an elective you're really interested in for the next one, just so you can have 'something' to keep your spirits up.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:07 am
by Gelastic
With all the thinking that I've made obvious I do, I've thought about the future. Well, I decided that I'm going to take an interest to drawing, as it always felt as something I had to do for myself and something that I've postponed since I was in elementary school. It's best I get some sleep, I had more to think about than usual this weekend.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:47 am
by Beoran
Xerxes and Geltastic, thanks for your story. For both of you, I hope all the best.

Xerxes, I'm also quite "lazy", in that I relied more on my talent than on studying, which isn't a good idea. It's probably too late for us, but I'd say that if you're a high school student who finds school easy, you should probably take up a language or programing, or another study on the side to challenge yourself a bit more.

Gelstastic, first of all, please keep taking good care of your health. I was worried when I read how you ignored your heart for that long.

Daitengu already said it well. If your social life isn't progressing, try to take up something or do something that will make you feel you go ahead in your own life, at least. But specifically because you are from Japanese origin, I'd recommend you learn Japanese and Japanese culture if you don't know it already, and even if you do you'll probably have to study up to learn all the kanji. I think it will be good for you to stay in touch with your roots, and also,
you'll be ready to go spend some time in Japan once you get a bit older.

As for "falling in love" with Hanako, I'd say you are idealizing and admiring her. And for that no real person is needed. I did this a with real girls, but it hurt since I was only craving after an illusion, a reflection I made in my own mind that had little to do with reality. There's nothing but pain that way. So please, try to do what it takes for you to snap out of it.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 2:38 am
by Naelron
I decided I'd post something here, and as a first post, and probably one of very few, as I'm more of a lurker and an awkward conversationalist.

To get right to the point, this isn't about a broken heart, though I guess it could sort of relate to the fact of why I haven't had a broken heart. As in I've had no romantic interactions with anybody, ever. Though I am only 15, and a half mind you, so I can't say I expected insta-romance. Also, don't expect phenomenal writing here, I'm only a freshman in high school, and despite being smart, and having a B in writing, I view myself as unfocused and bad when it comes down to it. I suppose I should say this light-hearted or casual tone will be completely gone by the first paragraph of my problems, as the only reason I am acting this way now, if I am acting this way, it sure feels like I am, is because of my socialization jitters. I have to get them out, hence the intro filled with a bit of irrelevant information. Oh, one last thing before I begin, I'm Nick, nice to meet you all, I've read each and every post here and find myself able to relate to a number of people. (Gelastic, I have an uncanny amount of similarities to you, not with the issues we face necessarily, but I've noticed some interest and personality similarities, though I may not touch on them in my writing.) < That's an example of my random unfocused behavior in writing, and that was thrown in there on purpose, it's just my style. Just looking back, I postponed my "One last thing... let's get started" thing a good bit. Time to refocus, here we go.

I'm a naturally shy individual, I always have been. I could go into depth on my personality, but I view myself in a very weird way, almost to the point where I feel arrogant and above everyone, but at the same time pitiful, and below everyone. A quick example being I find myself mature compared to other people my age group, but this sounds arrogant to me, and I hate my shy behavior, but I can't seem to overcome it and look down on myself. My low self-esteem probably hasn't helped matters much at all. Let's just say, the only pride I have in myself is my maturity and my intelligence, which, again, sounds arrogant, and I apologize.

First through fifth grade were dull and nothing of note. Though I will say I went to a small school, so going to a big high school was a bit of an unusual change for me. It was small classes, no more than 200 kids in the entirety of the school. It didn't help that I lived in a crummy, run-down(ish) area. My family is middle-class as far as I can tell, but it seems we're surrounded by those struggling financially, hence my description of the neighborhood. I took an interest in video games and television, never liking sports though. I had no true idea what I enjoyed, and I've always been jumping between interests, finicky is one word, though I'm not sure if it fits with that description, but I was finicky as well. I never made any close friends during these years, I randomly socialized with kids, shy, but not to the Hanako level.

My main issues that I face even today come from sixth grade through seventh grade, though I suppose eighth grade played an integral part in who I am.

In sixth grade I became close "friends" with one of the more popular kids in my class. I say "friends" because my definition of a friend is the average person's really close and trustworthy friend. That and he is the reason I now have severe trust issues. Anyways, I became known through the class, which wasn't necessarily hard seeing as it was only about 25 kids. Though we suffered from separation, clusters of three to five kids split off and went with each other, rarely socializing amongst other groups. At around seventh grade, though I didn't know it at the time, for reasons I will get to later, they merged together all except for about 7 of them. Back to sixth grade though. Anyways, I became known as the class pervert. I was viewed as most likely to become a sexual predator, though that wasn't the worst of some of the behaviors some kids had. I'm not trying to make myself sound better, as being a pervert isn't good, especially the level I took it to. This involved inappropriate contact with others, which I guess could be considered sexual harassment. Though I was one of many doing it, I was definitely the most active in it. No one minded it as far as I can tell though, even looking back on it, which disturbs me. Probably the early to middle of sixth grade, I began spending time with my friend's closest friend at the time, who got me into the whole of Japanese culture, excluding hentai and visual novels, which I got into later. (I say at the time, as I quickly became his closest friend, eventually. You'll see what I mean when I bring up the end of eighth grade.) I began getting close to the two of them, the popular one more so. (I'll call the popular one boy, and the anime fan girl, respective to their genders. Or at least refer to them as my male friend or female friend.) I began to trust him, something that lasted a mere 2-3 months.

At this point, things get a bit hazy. It was either late sixth grade or early seventh that this happened, but it was the only thing that happened during those times, so the timeline should remain logical enough. Basically, he lost my trust when I trusted him with a secret. Well, I suppose it wasn't necessarily a secret, but it was something I felt strongly about. I'm sure he realized how big of a deal this is. I am a very indifferent and indecisive person, so when I make up my mind on something AND feel strongly about it, people realize it is pretty important to me. Anyways, I told him this secret, which shall not be disclosed, and we went on, him telling me his "secrets" and I telling him mine. Whether they were true or not I couldn't tell you, he was someone who told white lies and exaggerated things a lot. Anyways, he revealed these secrets and twisted them, turning them into malicious rumors, then spreading them through the school and it made my friendship with those two awkward. My female friend was never all that mean, though she was violent. She enjoyed kicking my shins, and I have at least one scar to this day. I pushed through, though, I never told anyone one of my secrets again. That friend changed the definition of a friend for me. Instead of someone I get along with, and talk to, and enjoy being around, it became someone who I know enough about to be able to fill out a survey on them and someone who I have known long enough to be able to trust them. Trust for me has become something that I don't give away freely, like I used to, I realized then, that it is something that must be earned.

After that incident, was seventh grade. I couldn't take the lies being spread about and whispered behind my back, so I isolated myself. I stopped talking to people. I became Hanako shy. I never went out of my way to talk to someone, I'd merely respond when talked to. 90% of my social interactions from seventh grade to the present, aside from a rare few, consisted of shrugs, nods, smiles, fake laughs, and answers to questions. I didn't spend any time around anyone anymore, I found myself aimlessly wandering about during the times when I would normally be talking with my old friends. This allowed me to think about a lot, which helped. If I ventured a guess, I would say sometime around here, my maturity began to develop. I went on in isolation, until the beginning of eighth grade. All during this time, I continued my regular interests as well as developing several more, mainly my becoming hooked on my computer, eventually purchasing my own. It was nothing exceptional, but it was my own computer, in my own room, so I wasn't downstairs in the office all the time. I still played video games, but I never watched any TV anymore.

Now eighth grade is where I believe some of my current problems branched off of the previous one. For some random reason, my old friends began talking to me, and I would talk to them like I used to, and we began hanging out again. I couldn't tell you why, perhaps it was desperation from lack of any satisfying social interactions. That is probably the only way I could justify why I went back to those people. Anyways, they began to bully me, effectively shredding my self-esteem and stressing me out a good bit. I eventually developed some portion of a resistance to it, to the point where my rage would build up, and explode, probably every 3-4 months. I managed to vent this stress through the computer, which I had begun spending all of my free time on, every living moment of every day, even now, was spent on my computer. I also vented through bullying. I deeply regret this now, as I realized that I mainly bullied the one person who had never said a single thing mean, rude, or hurtful of any kind, towards me, or about me. I think once I realized this, I had hit true maturity. My previous level consisted of intolerance of injustice and wrong doing, which I then committed myself. This maturity basically ended my public perverted habits. I haven't physically touched someone, of my own free will, in well over a year now. I am still a dirty little pervert on the inside, hence my mention of hentai earlier, but that is aside from the point. After reaching this level of maturity, I wanted to apologize to that person I bullied, but I could never work up the courage, and after eighth grade, we all went our separate ways, or at least I did, and went to a new school in a different school district for my high school years.

Ninth grade will obviously be the easiest for me to remember, but is more about the effects of the earlier years on me, rather than more issues. As I had said, I had basically became Hanako on a social level. I responded, rarely in words, mostly gestures, and some ignoring in between. There were/are about 3 kids who brought me past this point, but I never got to know them all that well, and what I knew about them, was that we shared few to no interests. Even this socialization was simple small talk, usually about that persons social life or the class we were in, which for those 3, was Spanish. I considered myself blessed for a while, as I found an entire lunch table to myself. Of course, nothing like this would've lasted, as a ton of obnoxious, racist, "all-that" kids invaded my table, sandwiching me between them and another group of kids. This still goes on at the moment too. I pass all my classes so easily it is boring, which affected a very recent decision, about a few hours ago as I write this, that I hope will help a bit in terms of this.

This last bit is tid-bits on things I couldn't fit anywhere, and my current state of affairs.

First off I will mention family. I don't spend much if any time with them ever, seeing as how I spend much if not all of it on the internet. I get along with my younger sister, usually, despite the fact that if I am within 10 feet of her she finds it necessary to bathe in hand sanitizer. Yes, this is an exaggeration, but she is a germaphobe. I tend to irritate her a lot too, but we're siblings and that's what she is for right? That was a joke, don't take any offense. I don't talk to my family about any of my thoughts or issues because, well, I don't really trust them, nor enjoy talking with them about serious matters. They make everything awkward.

Second bit is how I ended up finding KS. I am a pretty avid YouTube watcher. One such person I watch, rarely, is ChilledChaos. He has a playthrough for this game, and I think he is done, or just about finished with Hanako's route. He doesn't take it seriously as far as I could tell, but it was funny and enjoyable, so I decided I would try out the game. (His interpretations of Kenji and Misha are the best.) This was my first VN as well, and I'm glad it was. I have played almost every route to the good ending, Shizune's excluded, I needed a break from "teh feelz." Anyways, KS affected me a ton, how I thought, and how I will treat people in the future, among other things, but this isn't the point of the post, so I will move on.

Recently, I faced a major decision. As in yesterday, and confirmed it today. It had to do with my education. I want to go to college and become successful, in what I'm not sure anymore. My interests have become so spread out, from art to music to technology and a teeny tiny bit of sports, if you count bowling as a sport. (I bowl leagues on a regular basis, not a just couple random outings with friends or anything.) Anyways, one thing that I've always been interested in was Japanese, anime, etc. That female friend of mine introduced it to me and I fell in love. There was a brief lull in my interest in it for several months, but for the most part, I've always loved it. Now onto the decision part. I had chosen to take 1st year Spanish, as Japanese apparently caused scheduling issues in ninth grade. I didn't want to deal with this, and plus the pressure from people around me, I settled with Spanish. Well, I will be signing up for classes for tenth grade tomorrow, and I decided to switch to Japanese (1st year.) Spanish was very uninteresting to me, but I was worried that if I didn't get enough credits, getting accepted into college would be difficult. I actually made the decision when I remembered an important message in Rin's path (I think), about living in the present, not dwelling on the past nor worrying about the future. So I decided Japanese then and there, all while listening to Moment of Decision. Fitting right? (I also felt I needed a challenge in school. Getting a 4.0 without studying once is boring.)

One last thing, before I forget. That girl I bullied, I recently learned, went to an auction from my old school, that is held annually. Her sister, and mine, both still go there, and as such, if I went to that auction, I would've seen her. I also recently made up that I will go to next year's auction in hopes that she will be there and that I can finally apologize for what I had done to her those years. That lifting of the guilt off my back would mean the world to me, but I fear I may forget or lose the courage later. I will try to stay motivated towards it though.

That is about it, let's see if I can actually be active on a forum for once rather than lurking for a few weeks. Thanks for reading. :)
I apologize for any grammatical errors or things that make little sense. This was written over 2 very late nights.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:08 am
by Beoran
Naelron, thanks for your story.

I know what it feels like to be arrogant and uncertain of myself. Arrogance and low self esteem are often two sides of the same coin,
the arrogance is a way to mask the lack of self-esteem. One thing I'd also like to say that nothing "perverted" about sex as long as
you don't bother other people. Furthermore I think it's admirable that you're going to make a few changes, challenge yourself and
try to amend your past mistakes. Keep that up, I hope things will keep on getting better for you.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:39 am
by The O.H.L.
There are a LOT of similarities between me and you Naelron. I learnt about KS through Chilled. Same age. Same interest in the Internet (I spend nearly all my time on my Xbox but that is only because we have a crappy ISP that cheats us out of what we pay for). And most of all the same arrogance problem. I feel most of the time that I am better then the people around me, and that I need to distance myself from them and I feel bad for thinking like that, and that I know that that would be unwise, so I get try to befriend those people I see that I think would benefit from my friendship. And it helps them, but never me and my inner demons.
Sometimes it is good to be selfish (not saying you are), but if you don't feel like you have any friends that you can trust you should try and reconcile with that girl you bullied now rather then latter, see if you sister can get her sisters number or something like that. I'm sure she would probably need the help from someone as well.

In some other thread on this site, there was a link to the lessons learnt from KS, and one of the lessons was that someone needs you. Right now.
If you say you bullied her she may have become introverted like you, and could probably use a friend. Also, apologizing would probably help a lot as well.

And for a finale, look at my signature if you feel offended in anyway.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:29 pm
by danyo
Just thought I'd pop in to say I still read every single post here, but I'm currently not able to say anything positive, so I figure it's better to just say nothing at all. Just not really feeling all that great lately, and I'm not sure even why anymore -.-'

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 2:03 pm
by Beoran
Hey danyo, I'm also feeling a bit tired as of lately, I've got a bit of a cold, and all this thinking about my own life is sometimes a bit tiring. Even the misses noticed and tried to cheer me up a bit. Well, I hope it gets better again for all of us.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:46 pm
by Lone Collie
Gelastic wrote:This thread is amazing and the people in it are amazing too. That said, I guess I have a story to tell too.

Reading back on my story, it is quite boring for a while, so thank you if you read it all. In case you don't want to read it all, I'll summarize it up to 5th grade. I was solitary and shy, I was the only Asian in my classes, my mom turned schizophrenic, and I never got close to anyone, never sharing my opinion or thoughts to anything.

I'm not sure as to where to start, I guess I'll start with my childhood. Growing up, I didn't have very many friends but I had a pretty good life. My parents were together, and I had a brother and sister and we never fought. I didn't speak one word until I was 4 years old. I played with toys to pass the time, such as hot wheels and items as weird as billiards balls, until I was 10. I had one true friend and neighbor, named Chuckie, until I was in 1st grade. We didn't know much about each other, but he didn't have many friends either. We became best friends who would hang out on weekends. He moved away because of his dad's job, still close by, but we slowly stopped visiting and talking to each other. I haven't contacted him in almost a decade, revealing right now that I am 14 years old.

In 1st grade, I still hadn't made friends and was quite lonely until I entered a gifted program, which apparently I took a test that I didn't remember in kindergarten. There were hardly any Asian people at my school, me being Japanese, so the girls took an interest to me. I was cute to them, and one might have developed a crush on me who had either stopped having a crush on me, or her friend was messing with my mind. The boys in the class still believed that girls had cooties, I went along with it even though I knew it was absurd. The boys, including me, had banded together in a sort of group. I didn't talk much, like Hanako, answering yes or no questions and answering other questions with very short responses. Moving onto 2nd grade, I had been permanently put into gifted classes with the same people I was with in the gifted program. Nothing much happened in 2nd grade, I still hadn't talked much to anyone, and was solitary.

In 3rd grade, I entered a sort of depression for reasons unknown. I was smart, being in gifted programs, but I almost never did my homework. My teacher would try to help me with my problems, making it worse by bringing my parents into it. I cried the most in my life throughout 3rd grade. The homework was really easy, so I never did understand why I was depressed in the 3rd grade. I got into my first and only fight in 3rd grade, on the bus. Everyone called me Jackie Chan, with one guy who started a fight with me for no reason. Luckily, being stereotyped into everyone thinking I know martial arts, I stopped the fight just by yelling "STOP!" I had never opened up to anyone, nor shared my opinions with anyone on anything.

In 4th grade, my feelings of depression lessened, and I made a good friend. His name was Michael and I made friends through him by his friendly attitude. I guess I didn't have a true friend like him, not even until today. We would hang out with each other in moderation. Even with him as my best friend, I still never opened up to him or anyone. Later on, my mom suffered from extreme paranoia. She became schizophrenic which made her think there was a man stalking us, which I am sure was not possible. She told Michael's parents about this man, warning them of him and what he says. His parents knew that my mom was crazy, denying Michael from hanging out with me anymore. They moved away because of this, not telling me goodbye or that he was moving. I was alone again, back to square one.

There I was, in 5th grade, still alone. Girls still found me cute because of me being the only Asian and my small person. I became part of a group of friends being 5 of us, all guys. Keith, Jonathan, Federico, Boma, Gregory, and Tommy(me). There were two bullies named D'Andre and Kevin. They acted like complete jerks to everyone in our little group. I let them bully me, fortunately they had no intention of doing it physically. I still didn't open up to anyone, bottling up my emotions. I was also still solitary, despite the 5 of us talking everyday in school. I spent the last few months of elementary school with a girl named Melissa, who I had developed feelings for. We enjoyed talking with each other, but we never got close. We were at a point where if we were to hang out out of school, it'd be a date. Me being the solitary guy I am, I never told her how I feel and we parted ways. Oh yes, I almost forgot. I encountered a problem with my heart. Tachycardia. The day I first knew something was wrong, my heart literally raced uncontrollably for about an hour. I felt lightheaded and I could see my heart pounding, the skin on my chest vibrating. I told no one of this, and it eventually went away. It didn't come back until a few months later which I then told my teacher. No one knew of my problem and I felt scared and, like always, alone. Not even the paramedics could help me, leaving me in this unbreakable state of my heart beating fast uncontrollably. My heart problem came back within the first few weeks of summer. I told no one of it and let it pass.

6th grade was a surprise to me in change of difficulty from 5th grade. My heart problem occurred more and more often as time went on. Escalating to only days before it would occur again. My group of friends did go to the same middle school, but we had different schedules, causing us to split apart. Yet again, I was alone. My mom's condition had only gotten worse, driving me into depression. She would ask me very weird questions, some of which would shock you. I was in a magnet program, advanced program, where a C would not be acceptable and you would be given two warnings, the third where they would kick you out. My grades dropped, something that hadn't happened since 3rd grade. I nearly got kicked out of the program, with 2 warnings.

7th grade. Nothing had changed. I was still solitary, with little to no friends, never opening up to anyone. My grades improved slightly, back to A's and B's, but with a lot more A's than B's. With nothing to do with my time, I began looking at hentai, which slightly changed me. I was a nice guy, very shy, never letting anyone get an impression on me. I'm still like that, but my mind had become perverted. I was always more mature than my age because I only truly talked to my brother and his friends, who were in high school. I had known what sex was and all those types of things in 3rd grade. Of course, knowing what sex is at a young age doesn't make me more mature, but with excess time, I thought. A lot. Youtube became my best friend, passing time by entertaining me with gameplay commentary and humorous videos. My brother confessed to our family that he is gay, and has been gay since he was in the 5th grade. My dad refusing to believe so, my mom and sister only slightly surprised by this. I felt no change when he confessed, mainly because we were never close. I had my first surgery, which was heart surgery that would stop the tachycardia from occurring. I was excluded from P.E., only to be alone even further.

Now, present time. 8th grade. I was still excluded from P.E., giving me even more time to think. Without any changes, I passed everyday by, living like a robot, forced to follow the same pattern. In the 2nd grading period, I consulted my doctor into admitting me back into P.E. I could only do light exercise, and no sports. I wasn't good at sports, so I didn't mind. I was like Rin, trying to find myself. I got into visual novels, discovered that I like singing and beatboxing, am average at drawing, and still, I am solitary without getting close to anyone.

Wow, this story is really long and quite...boring. I guess I live a life in solitary. KS means a lot to me because of its emotional impact on me, as with everyone else, and characters with problems very similar to mine. A thing I can't believe is that I have a crush on Hanako. I didn't think it's possible to be in love with pixels, but sadly, I can't get Hanako out of my mind. I will take my leave, but I have two questions for all of you. Would you have suspected me to be 14 years old if I didn't admit it? Do you think of me differently because I am 14?

Thanks it really helps to see things like this ^^
I don't really have much to say but i have alot in common with you. Im currently in 8th grade (14), and i'm one of the few asians in my school (i've just recently moved about 3 weeks ago). I know how it feels to not get close to anyone because I absolutely cannot abide company with many of my classmates. Maybe im anti-social or something i don't really know but they come to me seeming immature and annoying.
Don't feel bad about the hentai, EVERYONE does that (well almost everyone that is a boy) and it always centers around 7th grade (it did for me and my classmates).

Recently just randomly found Katawa Shoujo and really, really enjoyed it. I didn't cry or anything but i found myself really attached to the characters and the writing style and all. I also seem to have fallen in love with Hanako as well which is not helping me at all right now unfortunately. Sigh.

Life is pretty depressing but I get along somehow.
Again, thanks for writing this I thought i was some kind of anti-social weirdo but we seem to have alot in common.
Goodluck, i suppose.