Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[rockin robin]

because i have one for each family member. its part of the story, but writing it on this vita is frustrating

[Xanatos]

By the way. I think conversation with my crush is getting awkward. I feel like it's consist of my "Hellooooo, How are you?" and few more line. Any idea how to make this less boring for everyone else? (I personally find communicating with my crush is ALWAYS joyful)

Try finding a common interest. Small talk is ALWAYS boring and useless.

[simmr001]

By the way. I think conversation with my crush is getting awkward. I feel like it's consist of my "Hellooooo, How are you?" and few more line. Any idea how to make this less boring for everyone else? (I personally find communicating with my crush is ALWAYS joyful)

Try finding a common interest. Small talk is ALWAYS boring and useless.

Kinda cliche, but ask for her hobbies. Fish for info.small talk is painful to an atmosphere.

Also, robin's nearly finished, she's worried people will think her a bitch for her past but she says she's beyond caring about fear and anger control her. She also won't let me read it beforehand

[Xanatos]

By the way. I think conversation with my crush is getting awkward. I feel like it's consist of my "Hellooooo, How are you?" and few more line. Any idea how to make this less boring for everyone else? (I personally find communicating with my crush is ALWAYS joyful)

Try finding a common interest. Small talk is ALWAYS boring and useless.

Kinda cliche, but ask for her hobbies. Fish for info.small talk is painful to an atmosphere.

Also, robin's nearly finished, she's worried people will think her a bitch for her past but she says she's beyond caring about fear and anger control her. She also won't let me read it beforehand

If she's worried about that then chances are she was a bitch in her past. No big deal though. The past is just that: Past. Denying it or worrying about it only lends it power.

[rockin robin]

ive written this about 6 times now, and its never looked right because ive always sugar-coated it. i hate what i oncee was, and although i wanted to talk about my past; i was worried people would see me as what i was. but thinking about it made me realise how full of shit that was. so ive decided to be as blunt as possible (means i may use obscenities)

my life is defined by two moments: when i found out i was the bastard daughter of a whore. and when i lost the ability to bitch about it.

before my 18 th birthday me and my family were getting along great. im one of three identical triplets, and we tried to look out for each other. then on our 18th birthday, just before we were going too our universities (southampton solent, manchester metropolitan i think its called, and UCS) dad got drunk. then he started talking. how he met our mother in an alley, and we only existed because our mom forgot to take the pill. he also said he only married her so he wouldnt't "sire bastard childen"

then the three of us all went on our merry way, safe in the knowledge of having no expectations of ourselves as we wernt suupposed to exist. Hannah got over it, shes doing well for herself in manchester but makees regular visits. Elizabeth worshipped our father and hearing that nearly destroyed her, i had to take a roundabout trip from london to southampton and get her to Hannah because she got kicked out for alcoholism. shes in a clinic.

my mother went right back to where she began. which turned me into a resentful bitch with mummy issues. im not going into anumbers but i ended up with a lot of guys in UCS, (and a few girls too, one of whom has an open invitation to both of us. feel free to mock simmr001s refusal, i know i do) i didnt even enjoy it, it was just so i could rub it in my mums face. i met simmr001 back then, and all i thought was it was nice to know i wasnt the only FUBARd individual around. i really hate this moment in my life, and its my greatest regret.

its also when i got throat cancer. i was in and out of hospital for a year with treatments, when it wasnt responding, they removed my chords and gave me one of those electrolarynxes. and the two people to stay with me the whole time. siimmr001 and my father.

i took a year out, rebuilt my releationship with with my father (who is now paying for lizs rehab), developed my rmance with robert (simmr001s real name)) replaced the electolarynx with the name in my sig. and got into UEL instead.
thats the gist of it, id write more but right now i need a hug

[Loonie]

Robin, having been brought into this world with the words: "Not another boy! I got two already!" I can only say what I've learned about the whole 'not supposed to exist' part...

There is a strange power one can wield, when they realize, with every inch of their being, that every moment spent in this world is them cheating death and fate.
And there is a strange peace one can feel, when they use that power to do the last thing anyone ever expected from them and which makes them happy.

*hugs*

Can't believe I broke my own rule and posted here.

[Xanatos]

Had I known you then, I'd have kicked you into shape (figuratively and literally if necessary) or destroyed you in the attempt. Such is the risk of uncompromising harshness in dealing with people...But you've evidently done well enough since so good for you. Though I'm frankly puzzled as to how you were rubbing anything in your mother's face...Many parents would love to see their kids follow in their footsteps. Also simmr done fucked up. Just...Refusing an open invitation like that, what the hell.

I wasn't supposed to exist, not for very long...Now I'm headed toward my third decade. Though I've not accomplished shit because I've yet to work out my issues. I can't say for sure but I think the words I was brought in with were "GET THE FUCK BACK IN THERE, YOU'RE THREE MONTHS EARLY!"

[wazuzu]

right now i need a hug

Here, have an e-hug.
It's a nice thing to sometimes let the steam out. As more steam goes out, your head has less chance to eventually explode, like Hanako's did during her bad end.

As for my story, I was an unwanted surprise gigantic baby for a woman that liked to travel a lot and never stayed in one place. And I literally wrecked my mom's health during my birth, since I was about 5kg (that's almost twice as big as most modern babies' weight).
She married my dad post-factum after she got pregnant. After 2 years of so-so relationship, my dad started drinking like mad. And once, when I was 4 years old, he was so drunk that he actually brought another woman at our home. They divorced soon after that, and I was raised by a woman that secretly hated me for destroying her life, but nevertheless worked 12-16 hours a day just to feed me and herself. And now I have a very difficult relationship with her, not talking about the fact that there was no one to raise me, and I was completely socially inadapted until, like, my 18th birthday. My dad has another son now, and I hope he's happy. I never ever saw him after my fifth birthday which was the last time I ever saw him from behind my mom not letting him inside the house, and taking his present to pass it to me (it was an electric Mars Rover, I bet it was very expensive). I am 27 now, so it's more than 20 years I haven't seen my dad. Not that I want to. It's too late, I think.

[simmr001]

right now i need a hug

Here, have an e-hug.
It's a nice thing to sometimes let the steam out. As more steam goes out, your head has less chance to eventually explode, like Hanako's did during her bad end.

As for my story, I was an unwanted surprise gigantic baby for a woman that liked to travel a lot and never stayed in one place. And I literally wrecked my mom's health during my birth, since I was about 5kg (that's almost twice as big as most modern babies' weight).
She married my dad post-factum after she got pregnant. After 2 years of so-so relationship, my dad started drinking like mad. And once, when I was 4 years old, he was so drunk that he actually brought another woman at our home. They divorced soon after that, and I was raised by a woman that secretly hated me for destroying her life, but nevertheless worked 12-16 hours a day just to feed me and herself. And now I have a very difficult relationship with her, not talking about the fact that there was no one to raise me, and I was completely socially inadapted until, like, my 18th birthday. My dad has another son now, and I hope he's happy. I never ever saw him after my fifth birthday which was the last time I ever saw him from behind my mom not letting him inside the house, and taking his present to pass it to me (it was an electric Mars Rover, I bet it was very expensive). I am 27 now, so it's more than 20 years I haven't seen my dad. Not that I want to. It's too late, I think.

@wazuzu you sound like your at peace with your father, sounds like my uncle tbh, if he is you sound like . A better person without him.
@xanatos yeah yeah, it's less not wanting too and more not wanting to screw This up up, the first time I thought she was joking. And it Is still open also her mother IS a "street-walker" I've met her. She tried to proposition BOTH of us because she was too drunk to see it was her daughter. Have to ask her over why she was angry but she's passed out in a fetal ball effectively trapping me in our bed. Can think of worse situations.
@Loonie yeah, that sounds like one hell of a feeling. Her father has never apologised for what he said but he's tried to help them where he could. My parents are more proud of her than her own, which is kinda sad.

[wazuzu]

@wazuzu you sound like your at peace with your father, sounds like my uncle tbh, if he is you sound like . A better person without him.

I don't quite get it. How can I be at peace with a man I never actually saw in my conscious life? I just don't need him now as he was better off without me when I needed him the most.
It's a little sad in the end, but I'm not mad, what is done is done, and things happen, so we live our separate lives not even making any attempt to change it.

Also it's quite fun to hear your story, as it reminds me of someone I knew about 5 or 6 years ago.

[simmr001]

@wazuzu you sound like your at peace with your father, sounds like my uncle tbh, if he is you sound like . A better person without him.

I don't quite get it. How can I be at peace with a man I never actually saw in my conscious life? I just don't need him now as he was better off without me when I needed him the most.
It's a little sad in the end, but I'm not mad, what is done is done, and things happen, so we live our separate lives not even making any attempt to change it.

Also it's quite fun to hear your story, as it reminds me of someone I knew about 5 or 6 years ago.

No that's the parts of robin's Story I know. Mine is at the top of 223

[Loonie]

@Loonie yeah, that sounds like one hell of a feeling. Her father has never apologised for what he said but he's tried to help them where he could. My parents are more proud of her than her own, which is kinda sad.

Maybe. But give it a decade or so and who knows what might happen. Things with my mother and myself have been patched up to the point where she's not only admitted how unfair it was of her to me, but also to some of the things she inadvertently did to my brothers.

Given enough time, perhaps the same can be true for robin and her dad. The simple fact that he tries helping certainly opens up that possibility, but not knowing him I honestly can't say anymore on that point. All I can say for certain is about myself - that the feeling I described (of cheating death and fate every day I was doing something no one ever thought I would) has helped me find the kind of peace I've seen few people have.

Hopefully the same can be true for robin.

[simmr001]

@Loonie yeah, that sounds like one hell of a feeling. Her father has never apologised for what he said but he's tried to help them where he could. My parents are more proud of her than her own, which is kinda sad.

Maybe. But give it a decade or so and who knows what might happen. Things with my mother and myself have been patched up to the point where she's not only admitted how unfair it was of her to me, but also to some of the things she inadvertently did to my brothers.

Given enough time, perhaps the same can be true for robin and her dad. The simple fact that he tries helping certainly opens up that possibility, but not knowing him I honestly can't say anymore on that point. All I can say for certain is about myself - that the feeling I described (of cheating death and fate every day I was doing something no one ever thought I would) has helped me find the kind of peace I've seen few people have.

Hopefully the same can be true for robin.

I hope so for Liz too. She became a beggar in Southampton until they got her out off their because it nearly destroyed her. And her is one of those "own your mistakes, and move on" people, so I don't think he ever will

[wazuzu]

No that's the parts of robin's Story I know. Mine is at the top of 223

I meant your and robin's. Those intersecting parts.
And thanks, I'll read yours too.

[simmr001]

No that's the parts of robin's Story I know. Mine is at the top of 223

I meant your and robin's. Those intersecting parts.
And thanks, I'll read yours too.

Yeah, most of it initially was us moping, complaining about the past, and me refusing to sleep with her. Meanwhile, having to help with Liz, an awkward moment with me Hannah and a gay bar in Manchester. (Don't ask) and the moment I met her father was nerve wracking, as all I had was the three of their testimonies.

In contrast, robin got freaked by my 5 brothers niceness to her. And the fact my dad is as subtle as the stay puff marshmallow man when it comes to sensitive topics. And my mother decided to pursue her mum's profession and how much it affected her and if her throat cancer would resurface.