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Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:32 am
by themocaw
A drabble is a story in one hundred words.

If I think of one that I don't think belongs in a "set" like my others, I'll put them here.


-----

I wake up to the sound of chirping birds and a lovely naked woman with dark hair laying in my bed. I lean over and give her a gentle kiss on the forehead. She smiles, and her eyes flutter open. “Good morning, dear.”

“Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” She curls up and closes her eyes again, going back to sleep.

I slip out of bed and out of Hanako’s bedroom. My wife is standing in the kitchen, making breakfast. “Good morning, dear,” Lilly says.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I embrace her from behind.

God bless whoever invented saishoudoukin.

-----

The other three bodyguards go for their guns when the first one goes down. Big mistake. Rule number 1: protect the client first. US Secret Service would have him out the door already. These yakuza goons stick around, try to fight.

Three quick headshots and they go down.

The target is staring up at me, face white in horror. I pull back the hair from the right side of my face. I let him see the real me. “I know you,” he whispers. “You’re Hanako the Black Rose. You’re Boss Matsumoto’s angel of death.”

One more headshot. Another successful mission.

-----

“We are Locutus of Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!”

I winced as the piercing voice of my former first officer, interpreting for my former captain, echoed through the ship’s bridge. “Mister Setou?” I hissed. “Fire.”

The torrent of blue-white energy erupting from the ship’s deflector shield impacted the cube-shaped spacecraft and did absolutely nothing. “Silly Hicchan!” the pink-haired Borg drone said, waving her finger admonishingly. “We know all about your plans through me and Shicchan. Resistance is futile!”

-----

“We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start,” the man in the black suit said. “All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”

“Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal,” Shizune said. “But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger and you give me my phone call.”

“Miss Hakamichi. You disappoint me.”

“You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap,” Shizune scoffed. “I know my rights. I want my phone call.”

“Tell me, Miss Hakamichi,” the man said. . .

-----

She stands atop her mecha, the wind whipping through her long pink drills, the young man with the heart condition staring up at her in awe.

“Shicchan is dead!” Misha shouts. “She’s gone from this world. But here, in my heart, and here, on this flag, she lives on! If you’re going to laugh, laugh to the heavens! No matter what happens, I’ll never stop! If I can keep laughing, nothing can get me down!”

She points to the stunned blonde girl. “JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM! I’M NOT SHICCHAN’S INTERPRETER! I’M MISHA! MISHA THE WAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!”

-----

“So, how did you become legally blind, anyway?” Hisao asks me.

I think back to that day in the countryside: Love Machine running riot all over OZ, Natsuki (that feminist infiltrator!) playing the greatest game of Koi-Koi of all time, Kazuma punching the hell out of that mouse-faced AI. They told me I suffered a debilitating brain aneurism from the stress of solving three 2056-bit encryptions within ten minutes, which damaged my optic nerves. It didn’t matter. I’d saved the world.

“Natural causes,” I tell Hisao.

Real heroes don’t need to be recognized. We just live our lives in peace.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 2:27 pm
by griffon8
1: Okay, that could be interesting. Perhaps even plausible.

2: Nice, Hanako becomes an assassin.

3: What.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:58 pm
by Cropsy
I couldn't help but smile as each the WTF levels increased with each drabble. A weirdly hilarious change from a lot of your drabble collections so far.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:06 pm
by themocaw
Added another.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:08 pm
by sabre98
Love the Star Trek and Matrix references. Excellent work as usually

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:11 pm
by Bagheera
sabre98 wrote:Love the Star Trek and Matrix references. Excellent work as usually
Matrix? Didn't see that. Oh, you added many more! Never mind . . .

The Summer Wars bit was great though.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:22 pm
by Mahorfeus
Summer Wars for the win.

I nearly spit Dr. Pepper all over my screen over that one.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:23 pm
by CNB
themocaw wrote:“Tell me, Miss Hakamichi,” the man said. . .
Okay, you got me.

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:34 pm
by GG Crono
The Gurren Lagann one made me laugh out loud. :mrgreen:

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:03 am
by Demoneq
themocaw wrote: Real heroes don’t need to be recognized. We just live our lives in peace.
I like this line, even if coming from Kenji it should probably be at least a little disturbing. :P

Also, what are the "summer wars" people mention? :o

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:22 am
by Mirage_GSM
Summer Wars. Watch it ;-)

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:10 am
by Lothbrok
Mirage_GSM wrote:Summer Wars. Watch it ;-)

I didn't know Kenji was THIS bad-ass!

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:39 pm
by themocaw
"Hanako," Sho says, tenderly stroking the scarred woman's face, “there's something I need to tell you. It’s something I’ve been thinking about since we took that trip to Scotland together, something that has been simmering inside me since I first met you so many years ago. I know that this might change the relationship between us. I know this means I might not be able to be your publicist or your friend, but you need to understand when I say that I just saved ten percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Also, I just lost The Game.”

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:55 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Hmm... I'm not sure this is what Rob had in mind when he offered you to continue his story^^°

Re: Random Drabbles

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:38 pm
by CNB
Now do one parodying Casablanca.