A view from the dark (Feedback appreciated!)

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Daitengu
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Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 7:56 pm

Re: A view from the dark (Feedback appreciated!)

Post by Daitengu »

Only just now got around to reading this fic. I think it's interesting. Though I usually think new characters are interesting.

I can see why people were confused on Act II part 1. It was mainly the switch in writing style while trying to stay in the present. To go from a chronological style to a mysterious conflict with flashbacks is a bit jarring. I think it could be worked if segues were worked to present it and introduce the chapter better. Perhaps combine the stand alone preview journal entry with the chapter as a preface to allow the reader a change in style. It would allow for a buffer, and opportunity for context. Better than just dumping the reader into a indeterminate time in the future with mystery events. Think of how the flashback scenes are worked in Forest Gump, or the journal entries in Dracula, or Interview with a Vampire segued flashback.

I wonder what you're going to do with the poem Kezukio wrote. Seems to me that it could be an interesting plot device to present to Hanako. I'd think she would get more understanding out of it than Rin heh.

I also wonder if you going to work on this more or continue with other stories like amendments. I have to admit I'm similar when it comes to projects. New ideas pop up and older stuff tends to get forgotten lol.
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Eprlide
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:27 am

Re: A view from the dark (Feedback appreciated!)

Post by Eprlide »

Daitengu wrote:Only just now got around to reading this fic. I think it's interesting. Though I usually think new characters are interesting.

I can see why people were confused on Act II part 1. It was mainly the switch in writing style while trying to stay in the present. To go from a chronological style to a mysterious conflict with flashbacks is a bit jarring. I think it could be worked if segues were worked to present it and introduce the chapter better. Perhaps combine the stand alone preview journal entry with the chapter as a preface to allow the reader a change in style. It would allow for a buffer, and opportunity for context. Better than just dumping the reader into a indeterminate time in the future with mystery events. Think of how the flashback scenes are worked in Forest Gump, or the journal entries in Dracula, or Interview with a Vampire segued flashback.

I wonder what you're going to do with the poem Kezukio wrote. Seems to me that it could be an interesting plot device to present to Hanako. I'd think she would get more understanding out of it than Rin heh.

I also wonder if you going to work on this more or continue with other stories like amendments. I have to admit I'm similar when it comes to projects. New ideas pop up and older stuff tends to get forgotten lol.
AHHHH! Started to many projects!

Well, another problem is that too many new ideas come to me. With most stories I think of, I know the beginning and end by heart alone with a few snippets between. Writing filler that makes a good start up, AKA the rising action, is something I've been needing to work on. I still have the idea as to where this story was going to go and end, but the filler...

I will keep Breaking the Rules as it is (A one-shot), finish up Amendments (should only take two more posts) then get back with this.
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!
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Daitengu
Posts: 324
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 7:56 pm

Re: A view from the dark (Feedback appreciated!)

Post by Daitengu »

Eprlide wrote: AHHHH! Started to many projects!

Well, another problem is that too many new ideas come to me. With most stories I think of, I know the beginning and end by heart alone with a few snippets between. Writing filler that makes a good start up, AKA the rising action, is something I've been needing to work on. I still have the idea as to where this story was going to go and end, but the filler...

I will keep Breaking the Rules as it is (A one-shot), finish up Amendments (should only take two more posts) then get back with this.
lol I do the same thing, only with crafting and art stuff. All I can recommend is create an outline or timeline of notes to make the middle easier to flesh out. Hell, Frank Herbert had the outline to 4 more novels for the Dune series when he died. It's the only reason his nephew was able to finish writing out the series in his place.

I happen to like all your stuff that I've read so far, so take your time and enjoy the process.
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Mirage_GSM
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Location: Germany

Re: A view from the dark (Feedback appreciated!)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

With most stories I think of, I know the beginning and end by heart alone with a few snippets between.
Heh, I know exactly how you feel. With "Tripping", I know exactly how the story is going to end, but the story calls for several more days passing before the main plot can continue and there's some more characterization that has to happen in thse days...
I really have to continue that story soon...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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