The Decision
Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:27 am
The Decision
I don’t like waiting in line.
Considered one of the most quintessential Japanese qualities and I just don’t like it.
Waiting isn’t the problem. I have patience in good measure. It’s when I have to do it in a queue that I have difficulty. That’s when a dependence on others is forced upon me.
“You didn’t run your ticket through the wash this time, did you?”
“No Lilly, I didn’t. I have both of our tickets right here. Is this something you’re never going to let me live down?” Akira asks as she guides me forward one place in line.
“Not at all. I’m sure you will be providing new things with which to embarrass yourself. Constantly,” I giggle.
Though of course I can’t see it, I’m sure Akira is smiling at my gentle jab. This level of playing off each other is what produces envy in my friends who don’t have siblings.
“Right. I have to keep reusing the same ones of yours over and over,” she rejoins.
We fall silent after that, just waiting. For some reason I’m feeling more impatient than I ought to though. I let out a sigh through my nose as we take another step.
“Something bugging you, Lils?”
“No. I don’t think so. Nothing should be bothering me.”
“Uh, huh.”
I know that tone. “You think there’s something bothering me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Just that you’re about to leave the life you’ve had for the last six years, not to mention your home for eighteen years, behind. No, you’re right. There’s nothing there that should be bothering you.”
I frown at her words. “We’ve discussed this. This is the proper thing to do.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
Eager to end this line of talk, I don’t respond.
As we take yet another of what seems and endless number of steps, Akira says, “Just one more person ahead of us, Lilly. Then we’ll be able to go to our gate.”
I nod in response, not mentioning that I could determine our proximity by the voice of the woman checking bags.
At last we arrive at the counter. Akira hands over our tickets and then proceeds to put our luggage on the scales.
The airline woman is quick and efficient. “Thank you, Ms. Satou. Your flight on Air France from Tokyo to Inverness, Great Britain via Paris, France and Manchester, Great Britain will be boarding in fifty minutes. Your gate number is printed on your ticket.”
“Thanks. Well, Lilly, I guess we’ve got a little more waiting before we go. Wanna get a quick bite to eat after we pass through security?”
I think about it before I reply. “No, I will be fine waiting at the gate. If you wish to eat before our flight, that will be all right.”
“Okay.” Akira leads the way to our gate. Security doesn’t take long checking our things and us through.
Shortly we reach our destination. Akira finds a seat for me to sit with our carry-on bags, and says before she goes, “I noticed a ladies’ room just a little ways down the wall to your right. If you follow the wall, it’ll be the first door you come to.”
“Thank you, Akira. I don’t believe I will need it, but your directions are much appreciated.”
“Hey, no prob. I’ll be back in plenty of time. You have a book or something to read while you’re waiting?”
I place a hand on my bag. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Don’t have too many beers before we board; I’m sure drinks will be available on our flight,” I chide good-naturedly.
“Yeah, but we’re on Air France! That’s fine if I want champagne or wine, but a beer? Come on!” she laughs as she leaves, no doubt holding her hand high in a wave I can’t see.
And now I’m left by myself to wait for our plane. A plane that will take me to my parents’ home. A home I’ve been to only once, just a little while ago.
Are these second thoughts? I shouldn’t be having second thoughts at this point. I’ve made my decision. I’m going home.
“But whose home is it really?” I hear myself asking in my mind. “Yours?”
“It is now,” I respond in kind.
Sweeping these thoughts from my head, I pick up my carry-on bag. As expected, the book I’ve begun reading most recently is on top. What is unexpected is that the arrangement of my other things has been altered.
“Akira, what did you do?” She knows better than to change how I’ve packed my bag.
Sighing, I set about emptying my bag and making sure I know where everything is. At least I won’t be bored waiting for Akira to come back.
Spare clothes, now haphazardly bundled. Two more books. Toiletries in approved amounts and containers in a ziplock bag; at least that’s completely intact. And…
As soon as I touch it, I know what she’s done.
Gently, careful not to disturb it, I pull the box out of my bag and rest it in my lap. Feeling for the lid, I open it. The beautiful tune plays, so out of place in the middle of a bustling airport.
Memories flood through my mind, impossible to hold back. “Hisao…”
When he gave me this music box, I kissed him. Not a romantic kiss, but an affectionate one. But I knew then where we were headed.
His second call to me during my visit to Scotland, we said that we missed each other. But I know what we both ached to say.
I had told him I loved him. I told him over and over that day in the wheat field. Hormones took over us both the rest of our vacation, but they just affirmed our mutual feelings.
Were those feeling now a lie? Did I not trust myself, did I not believe in the truth of those feelings, now that my parents had called me to their home?
Hisao was always honest with me. Even when he wanted to hide his condition from the world, he told me about it. When he had a problem with me, he didn’t let it stew. How many people would admit to having just received a letter from his previous love? So easy to let details like that just be ignored.
“But Hisao knew that this was the right thing to do. He knew he couldn’t keep you anymore. What did he say? ‘It’s okay. You’ve got your own life to lead, after all.’”
“That’s right. I do have my own life to lead.” Grim determination sets in as I repack my bag.
As I finish, I hear Akira call out as she comes near. “Hey, Lilly. How are you… Ah. Found it, huh?”
“Yes. Yes I did. Akira, how could you?”
“Well, I don’t know. I just figured, you know, it might make you think of something…” she lamely trails off.
My face must be quite a sight to so cow her. “You’re right; it has made me think of something.”
“Um, okay. Like what?”
I stand up. “Like getting out of here and back to Hisao. Take our bags; we’re not getting on that plane!”
There’s a long pause before she responds. “Geez, Lils!” she begins as she picks up our bags. “About time! I was worried we’d be in the air before you finally figured this out!”
Ignoring her reply, we set about leaving back through the security we previously passed through.
“You know, our luggage is probably going to leave for Paris without us.”
“I don’t care. There’s nothing in them I can’t live without for now, and it’s all replaceable. Once we get a taxi you can try calling the airline to cancel our tickets and get our luggage unloaded.”
When we reach the exit, there’s a much larger commotion than I would have expected for this time of night. I can hear loud whistles and men shouting directions. “Akira, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Some kind of traffic snarl maybe; there’s someone directing cars.”
“Is there an officer or airport employee around we can talk to?”
“Yeah. Yeah, there’s one just to the left ahead. Hey, excuse me sir, what’s going on?”
“Apparently, someone had a heart attack right in front of the doors here. The ambulance just left.”
Akira and I stop dead still. A cold fear clutches my heart. “Excuse me, but did you happen to see the person who had the heart attack?” My voice sounds strange to me as I croak out my question.
“Yeah, looked pretty young. Even had a school uniform on.”
“White shirt, black tie, green pants?” Akira asks.
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
My mind goes blank. Dimly, I hear Akira call out for a taxi. Eventually, she leads me over to a cab and we get in. Akira tells the driver to take us to the nearest hospital.
“Hisao…”
“Hm? Lilly, did you say something?”
Tears are streaming down my face now. “You came for me…”
----------------------------------------
I posted this about 1:30 am my time—just had to get it out of me. Now that I've had some sleep, I wanted to write some comments about it.
As happy as I was with Lilly's Good End, I felt that the idea that Hisao needed to have a heart attack to convince Lilly to stay wasn't right.
So I figured, if Hisao's choices are changing how he thinks, maybe they can change how others think of him. So Hisao's honesty didn't just make him get Lilly, it helped Lilly get Hisao. This story was the result.
I don’t like waiting in line.
Considered one of the most quintessential Japanese qualities and I just don’t like it.
Waiting isn’t the problem. I have patience in good measure. It’s when I have to do it in a queue that I have difficulty. That’s when a dependence on others is forced upon me.
“You didn’t run your ticket through the wash this time, did you?”
“No Lilly, I didn’t. I have both of our tickets right here. Is this something you’re never going to let me live down?” Akira asks as she guides me forward one place in line.
“Not at all. I’m sure you will be providing new things with which to embarrass yourself. Constantly,” I giggle.
Though of course I can’t see it, I’m sure Akira is smiling at my gentle jab. This level of playing off each other is what produces envy in my friends who don’t have siblings.
“Right. I have to keep reusing the same ones of yours over and over,” she rejoins.
We fall silent after that, just waiting. For some reason I’m feeling more impatient than I ought to though. I let out a sigh through my nose as we take another step.
“Something bugging you, Lils?”
“No. I don’t think so. Nothing should be bothering me.”
“Uh, huh.”
I know that tone. “You think there’s something bothering me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Just that you’re about to leave the life you’ve had for the last six years, not to mention your home for eighteen years, behind. No, you’re right. There’s nothing there that should be bothering you.”
I frown at her words. “We’ve discussed this. This is the proper thing to do.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
Eager to end this line of talk, I don’t respond.
As we take yet another of what seems and endless number of steps, Akira says, “Just one more person ahead of us, Lilly. Then we’ll be able to go to our gate.”
I nod in response, not mentioning that I could determine our proximity by the voice of the woman checking bags.
At last we arrive at the counter. Akira hands over our tickets and then proceeds to put our luggage on the scales.
The airline woman is quick and efficient. “Thank you, Ms. Satou. Your flight on Air France from Tokyo to Inverness, Great Britain via Paris, France and Manchester, Great Britain will be boarding in fifty minutes. Your gate number is printed on your ticket.”
“Thanks. Well, Lilly, I guess we’ve got a little more waiting before we go. Wanna get a quick bite to eat after we pass through security?”
I think about it before I reply. “No, I will be fine waiting at the gate. If you wish to eat before our flight, that will be all right.”
“Okay.” Akira leads the way to our gate. Security doesn’t take long checking our things and us through.
Shortly we reach our destination. Akira finds a seat for me to sit with our carry-on bags, and says before she goes, “I noticed a ladies’ room just a little ways down the wall to your right. If you follow the wall, it’ll be the first door you come to.”
“Thank you, Akira. I don’t believe I will need it, but your directions are much appreciated.”
“Hey, no prob. I’ll be back in plenty of time. You have a book or something to read while you’re waiting?”
I place a hand on my bag. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Don’t have too many beers before we board; I’m sure drinks will be available on our flight,” I chide good-naturedly.
“Yeah, but we’re on Air France! That’s fine if I want champagne or wine, but a beer? Come on!” she laughs as she leaves, no doubt holding her hand high in a wave I can’t see.
And now I’m left by myself to wait for our plane. A plane that will take me to my parents’ home. A home I’ve been to only once, just a little while ago.
Are these second thoughts? I shouldn’t be having second thoughts at this point. I’ve made my decision. I’m going home.
“But whose home is it really?” I hear myself asking in my mind. “Yours?”
“It is now,” I respond in kind.
Sweeping these thoughts from my head, I pick up my carry-on bag. As expected, the book I’ve begun reading most recently is on top. What is unexpected is that the arrangement of my other things has been altered.
“Akira, what did you do?” She knows better than to change how I’ve packed my bag.
Sighing, I set about emptying my bag and making sure I know where everything is. At least I won’t be bored waiting for Akira to come back.
Spare clothes, now haphazardly bundled. Two more books. Toiletries in approved amounts and containers in a ziplock bag; at least that’s completely intact. And…
As soon as I touch it, I know what she’s done.
Gently, careful not to disturb it, I pull the box out of my bag and rest it in my lap. Feeling for the lid, I open it. The beautiful tune plays, so out of place in the middle of a bustling airport.
Memories flood through my mind, impossible to hold back. “Hisao…”
When he gave me this music box, I kissed him. Not a romantic kiss, but an affectionate one. But I knew then where we were headed.
His second call to me during my visit to Scotland, we said that we missed each other. But I know what we both ached to say.
I had told him I loved him. I told him over and over that day in the wheat field. Hormones took over us both the rest of our vacation, but they just affirmed our mutual feelings.
Were those feeling now a lie? Did I not trust myself, did I not believe in the truth of those feelings, now that my parents had called me to their home?
Hisao was always honest with me. Even when he wanted to hide his condition from the world, he told me about it. When he had a problem with me, he didn’t let it stew. How many people would admit to having just received a letter from his previous love? So easy to let details like that just be ignored.
“But Hisao knew that this was the right thing to do. He knew he couldn’t keep you anymore. What did he say? ‘It’s okay. You’ve got your own life to lead, after all.’”
“That’s right. I do have my own life to lead.” Grim determination sets in as I repack my bag.
As I finish, I hear Akira call out as she comes near. “Hey, Lilly. How are you… Ah. Found it, huh?”
“Yes. Yes I did. Akira, how could you?”
“Well, I don’t know. I just figured, you know, it might make you think of something…” she lamely trails off.
My face must be quite a sight to so cow her. “You’re right; it has made me think of something.”
“Um, okay. Like what?”
I stand up. “Like getting out of here and back to Hisao. Take our bags; we’re not getting on that plane!”
There’s a long pause before she responds. “Geez, Lils!” she begins as she picks up our bags. “About time! I was worried we’d be in the air before you finally figured this out!”
Ignoring her reply, we set about leaving back through the security we previously passed through.
“You know, our luggage is probably going to leave for Paris without us.”
“I don’t care. There’s nothing in them I can’t live without for now, and it’s all replaceable. Once we get a taxi you can try calling the airline to cancel our tickets and get our luggage unloaded.”
When we reach the exit, there’s a much larger commotion than I would have expected for this time of night. I can hear loud whistles and men shouting directions. “Akira, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Some kind of traffic snarl maybe; there’s someone directing cars.”
“Is there an officer or airport employee around we can talk to?”
“Yeah. Yeah, there’s one just to the left ahead. Hey, excuse me sir, what’s going on?”
“Apparently, someone had a heart attack right in front of the doors here. The ambulance just left.”
Akira and I stop dead still. A cold fear clutches my heart. “Excuse me, but did you happen to see the person who had the heart attack?” My voice sounds strange to me as I croak out my question.
“Yeah, looked pretty young. Even had a school uniform on.”
“White shirt, black tie, green pants?” Akira asks.
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
My mind goes blank. Dimly, I hear Akira call out for a taxi. Eventually, she leads me over to a cab and we get in. Akira tells the driver to take us to the nearest hospital.
“Hisao…”
“Hm? Lilly, did you say something?”
Tears are streaming down my face now. “You came for me…”
----------------------------------------
I posted this about 1:30 am my time—just had to get it out of me. Now that I've had some sleep, I wanted to write some comments about it.
As happy as I was with Lilly's Good End, I felt that the idea that Hisao needed to have a heart attack to convince Lilly to stay wasn't right.
So I figured, if Hisao's choices are changing how he thinks, maybe they can change how others think of him. So Hisao's honesty didn't just make him get Lilly, it helped Lilly get Hisao. This story was the result.