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~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 10:45 am
by cpl_crud
The following is written, mostly, for the hell of it.
To me, it’s a Bad End for the Good End Rin path that Hivemind has posted.

Conditions are that you started out with Emi, but then switch to Rin. Anyway, long story short, you’re heading into the city to meet with Rin for the final exhibition.
For whatever reason, you’re not travelling together, and you are going to take the train.

________________

I pace nervously along the station platform, lit dimly by a caged, fluorescent light.
Rin would be at the gallery by now; probably waiting out in the cold for me.

[Loudspeaker] The next train to arrive on platform three does not stop at this station. Please stand behind the yellow line.

The indicator board’s LEDs spell out my fate in scrolling, orange text. The next train is an express, due in five minutes, but it doesn’t stop here. It will be an agonising fourteen minute wait until the next train will pull up here. I take a deep breath to sigh, but the chill air causes a hackneyed cough.

The racking of my body is echoed by my fragile mind. Doubt starts to creep into my mind. Like a noxious gas, it finds the chinks in my psyche, and starts seeping into my consciousness.
What if Rin *isn’t* waiting for me? What if all of this is for naught?

What if... if it happens again.

My doubt smiles; it has found a breach in my mind’s defences, and attacks at full strength.

Just what did happen last time we held an exhibition together?

Well, you held an exhibition, and then she ran away, in tears if I recall correctly.

My stress has given my doubt a voice. It’s a sickly sweet voice, deranged, yet reassuring.

So? That wasn’t my fault!

Without realising, I’ve started addressing this doubt as if it were another person. The hectic preparation for this exhibition has been playing tricks with my mind, and now my mind is using the fatigue to play tricks back on me.

You’re just going to hurt her again. Is that what you want?

No! I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t hurt her...

But everything you do seems to cause her pain. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re just pushing yourself into her life? Maybe the best thing is for you to remove yourself from her life, and let her fulfil her destiny...

[Hisao] NO!

Without realising it, I’ve screamed at myself. My cry echoes into the distance, unheard on the empty platform. The outburst, however, serves to silence the voice in my head. I close and rub my eyes, trying to fight off the headache that was rapidly replacing the receding mist in my head.

[?] No what? Are you alright? Is it an attack?

My eyes snap open, and I look along the platform. Emi is rushing along the dreaded Yellow Line towards me, eyes wild like a gnu who’s seen a tiger. But this time, it’s me that’s frozen to the spot. I can’t muster any words to belay Emi, so I just gawk at her.

[Emi] No! It is an attack, isn’t it? Maybe you should sit down...

Maybe... maybe my doubt is right. Maybe all I do is cause Rin pain...

Emi closes the gap between us quickly. With one hand, she grasps my wrist to stop me from falling, and with the other she cradles my cheek.
This girl is genuinely concerned for me.
This girl cares for me.
This girl wouldn’t run away from me when I’m trying to help her...

I don’t even have to listen to Doubt’s words to believe them now.
I wasn’t to blame from Rin’s pain; she was. Rin, who only ever talked about her art. Rin, who only wanted to talk to me because I knew a little about a couple of painters. Rin, who threw all of my work back in my face, when all I wanted to do was help.

Rin, who hates me.

I look at Emi, her eyes pleading for a response. I blink myself out of my catatonic state, and look into her doe-like eyes. Before I can help myself, and before she can struggle, I have pulled her into my embrace, and I press my lips against hers.

For one magical moment, I taste the kiss that I have been waiting for since those days spent waiting by the running track.
Then, the moment is gone. Emi jumps back, but fails to release my hand.

[Emi] What the hell are you doing?

Her concern is replaced by confused anger.
So, Emi hates me too.

[Hisao] Isn’t this what you wanted?

[Emi] NO!

I’m confused. I’m tired. My brain makes hasty calculations, and assures me of their certainty.

[Hisao] Why else would you be here, unless you came to see me?

Emi looks even more confused.

[Emi] I’m going into town to meet with my Aunt! Not that it’s any of your business.

Once again, I drift into catatonic calculation.
Emi is yelling at me.
Emi is going to tell everyone what happened tonight.
I can’t let Emi do that.

[Emi] Stop.... it...

Emi’s wheezing words disturb my thoughts.

[Hisao] Stop what?

I look back down at Emi. She’s clawing at her throat... no... at something around her throat. Her eyes are a lot redder than they were a minute ago... is she crying? And that red line connecting her nose and her lips... was that there a second ago?

I become aware of a pain in my legs.
Looking down, I see prosthetic limbs bashing into my shins.

[Hisao] Emi, what’s going on?

I look back at her face, which has taken on a strange shade of red. But this doesn’t matter. For some reason, my hands feel hot. That’s not right; it’s a cool night.

Still in a half trance, I follow the line of my arms to their conclusion at Emi’s throat.

Emi’s frantic scratches at my hands are weaker now. Her face is bloated, and going a deeper shade of read with every second. The rivulet of blood from her nose has now tainted her lips dark rouge.
The colour suits her.

A strange, white aura starts to envelop her face, as if lit from behind.
Could this be her soul escaping? Is this the delicate life force that has sustained my little friend through out all her hardships?
To test the theory, I let my grip relax a little to see how the aura is affected. Yet, even as the colour drains a little from her face, and she wheezes a shallow breath, the light grows stronger.

The thin gasp of air seems to give Emi a new strength. I feel a great pain in my knees, and one of them starts to buckle. My hands, lubricated by the sweat pouring from both of us, slip away from Emi’s bruised neck. I stumble on my collapsing knee, and trip.

Emi’s aura separates from her body. My hazy eyes quickly recognize the source.
My senses return to me in a white-hot flash.

[Loudspeaker] ... behind the yellow line.

As I topple over the edge of the platform, I make a quick choice, and turn my head away from the oncoming ‘aura’ to take one last look at Emi’s face, still pink from the strangulation, but her eyes wide open in terror.

I wonder if I have time....

[Hisao] I’m....

____________________



Eh, not my greatest. Hell, it might even be far too “out there” to even count as writing.

Still, I had a crappy day.

Originally, The MC was going to stab the fuck out of Emi, then throw himself in front of the train. I was then going to get a bit more descriptive with the strangling, but as I was stepping through it in my mind, I found myself (funnily enough) in one of the aforementioned catatonic states. (For those that are interested, I ended up looking at a vending machine for about 2 minutes. A friend walked past behind me, and had to tap me on the shoulder to make me notice them.) That’s what got me thinking... I wonder just how much I would have to do before I woke up?

I guess getting hit by a train would probably do it >>.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 11:09 am
by cpl_crud
Thanks konflikti:

Image

Re: ~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:23 pm
by Aakren
I actually liked what you have wrote. I thought the vocabulary you used was great, and I got quite into your ending. I got a bit upset when it ended hehehehe. Nice Job. Post more ideas dude...

Re: ~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:36 pm
by griffon8
Dude…

You posted on a thread over four year dead. :roll:

Re: ~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:43 pm
by Petermeter
I hereby give today's golden spade for digging up the (pretty much) oldest post available to Aakren. Grats, man.

Re: ~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:44 am
by Aakren
Why thank you! I am most pleased!

Re: ~Bad End ~ (Rin's path)

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2024 10:44 am
by Oddball

With all the deep diving I've done into the early and unused material, I've somehow missed this one until now. It's always fascinating seeing some of the earliest take on the characters and events before they'd yet to fully form.

I'm really glad we ended up with a main character that's less murder-y. :wink: