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He isn't too sure how things lead to this,

but tonight,

Kenji Setou is going to become a man.

Misha was undressed down to her lingeries, at least, he thinks thats lingeries she's wearing.

Between him and his steam-covered eyeglasses, he couldn't make out the blurry, skin-colored figure before him.

He reaches forward and places his trembling hands on her ch-

Oh.

So this is what a breast feels like, it's a lot softer than I thought.

She breathes deeper.

==============================================

Kenji embraces Misha, the two of them crash onto the bed in one giant POMF

their tongues meet, and they drown in each other's passion-

or saliva, he can't really tell which is which at this point.

now what do I do?

It was at that moment Kenji realized that he didn't know what sex looked like.

He was hoping his instincts would take over naturally, hips would start moving on their own, and everything would flash to a blissful white.

but instead time seems to be slowing down, he must have been making out and spooning with Misha for over half an hour now.

======================

Kenji aims the tip of his penis directly towards this wrinkly rubbery blur that should be the vagina.

It is wet and cold down there, that should be an affirmative for him to proceed.

This is it! It is time to fathom myself in the best of the pleasure that human Biology has to offer.

Finally! FINALLY I'M GETTING LAID!

Kenji shoves his hip forward!

- and his penis bends to the side!

FFFFFFUUUU-

Awkwardly, Kenji readjusts himself and prepares for another round of penetration,

but, it failed! His penis once again slides around her crotch, never entering her victory gate.

Misha took over and climbs on top of Kenji

"Here," she reaches down to his penis "let me..."

The two of them embarrassingly feel for each other in the dark,

but eventually, the penis tip is touching her wet, silky vaginal lips.

Misha sits downward-

but Kenji doesn't have enough blood down there to piston the engine.

Panic.

"Wait, I got this, I.." He mutters at Misha's general direction

He continues to thrust, but it was over, Lil' Kenji has aleady limped back into its flaccid position.

In an act of desperation, Kenji sits up and kisses Misha once more, his hands roam around her body in order to excite himself.

What's going on? I should be turned on by this! WhyamInotgettinghardwhatthefuck

No, no no no no NO NO NONONONO-

==============================================

Kenji Setou is lying face down on his bed, alone, exhausted, defeated...

Confused.

There was a vagina in front of him, it should have been everything that puberty wanted, but-

how could this-

she-

I...

Great stuff, short, but it defiantly made me laugh a few times, and that's all I really want

Things could have gone better for poor Kenji though. Strangely enough, I assumed that kenji was the kinda guy who watched plenty of porn, but alas, I was wrong.

I doubt watching porn can turn you into a sexpert, especially if you're living in Japan.

It also doesn't help that Kenji's almost blind, and probably doesn't even have access to internet porn due to Yanmaku's parental control.

traitor wrote:I doubt watching porn can turn you into a sexpert, especially if you're living in Japan.

It also doesn't help that Kenji's almost blind, and probably doesn't even have access to internet porn due to Yanmaku's parental control.

Ah, I forget he's practically blind, its just where he said he didn't know what sex looked like I assumed he meant he just hadn't seen it, rather than that he couldn't.

This is an amusing little ficlet, but my inner proofreader demands that I bring

he thats lingeries

to your attention as a confusing bit of non-English.

traitor wrote:
It is wet and cold down there, that should be an affirmative for him to proceed.

Wait...wet and cold? Wet I can understand, bodily fluids and such, but cold? If anything, body heat and lustful passion in general should make her anything BUT cold!

Fixed engrish thanks to G.Haberdasher


as for

Sgt_Frog wrote: Wait...wet and cold? Wet I can understand, bodily fluids and such, but cold? If anything, body heat and lustful passion in general should make her anything BUT cold!

just... trust me on this one.

traitor wrote:Fixed engrish thanks to G.Haberdasher


as for

Sgt_Frog wrote: Wait...wet and cold? Wet I can understand, bodily fluids and such, but cold? If anything, body heat and lustful passion in general should make her anything BUT cold!

just... trust me on this one.

Maybe she's...frigid.

On the subject of Kenji watching porn while being blind, he does make references to tv shows and movies.

It was like in the openings to some kind of anime show, you know how there is always a part where the main dude is fighting his rival, and they fly at each other and clash swords and there's like, big dramatic colored auras and zoom? It was like that, but with poo.

There can only be one, like in that foreign movie where there could only be one, and in the end there is only one dude left, because that was the point.

It seems that he sees well enough to watch television, possibly with his eyes practically touching the screen.

hey, that's pretty good. I had to stop reading at one part to laugh too.

Oh god.... that pairing.... is... no, just no *shivers*

This is certainly an interesting pairing, and a funny, although natural courser of events.