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Re: Tripping

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:04 am
by Leotrak
The Rin chapter was like watching a bunch of lines burst out in every direction then converge two inches away of their starting point, only to burst apart again, and then repeat ad infinitum... Brilliantly done :P Ooki's dream not being a dream was fun too ^_^ Hope this "on hold, please wait" doesn't last too long ^_^

Re: Tripping

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:04 am
by moonpalace
^ What he said.

Re: Tripping

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:51 am
by Mirage_GSM
Okay, so I decided to take a break from the translation and write another chapter of my story or two, just to show this story is still alive. Don’t expect regular updates anytime soon, though. The translation is still my priority.
The break has been a bit longer than I expected it to be. I planned to get at least a few more chapters done before the release, but then the beta came along…

Anyway.

A few things I should mention for newcomers: I started to write this story before the full version of KS was released, so I had only Act 1 to go on. Obviously this led to some parts of the story being Jossed.
Still, I decided not to retcon anything I’d previously written, so this FanFic will deviate from canon in a few points. As for stuff I had NOT previously written, I’m taking into account the events of Acts II-IV.

Basically you can assume the story is set after Emi’s good end, except for the following:
- Motoki’s canon name is Taro, and he isn’t narcoleptic but paraplegic. That much was known even before the full version’s release, but not to me and not before I created the character.
- “Leon” is gone from the classroom CG, but as he’s one of the main characters in this story, of course he will stay.
In my version Hisao’s and Emi’s relationship progressed a bit slower, and they didn’t have sex yet – oh, and Hisao isn’t quite as enthusiastic about running. I didn't originally plan on Emi having had a boyfriend before Hisao, but as I didn't specifically say so until now, I changed my mind ;-)
- I made Emi the captain of the track team. Actually this isn’t even a deviation from canon, since the story is set after the end of Emi’s regular route, so the old team captain could have changed schools in the meantime.
- Obviously Lilly hasn’t left for Scotland (yet?).
- And, well… My version of Nomiya is actually nice. Live with it.

And with that, here’s the new chapter:

Day 4, 12:30
It really is a beautiful view. I was a bit disappointed that we wouldn’t be able to walk all the way around the lake – it is too large for that – but Mr. Nomiya suggested to walk to the western tip of the lake and back. A round trip of about five kilometers shouldn’t strain Hisao too much.

Not that there’s any danger of Hisao overexerting himself on this tour. Since Kenta and Mai decided to come along we are adjusting our pace to Mai’s, which is barely a stroll. I guess I’ll have to have Hisao go running with me again starting tomorrow, or he won’t get enough exercise on this trip.

The others who joined us are Nanami, who is walking behind us with Mai and Kenta and – surprisingly – Jun, who is chatting with Ms. Uehara, the nurse Mr. Nomiya insisted to send along with us.

She is laughing, apparently at some joke Jun told her.

Hisao brings his head close to mine and whispers. „Do you think Jun is hitting on Ms. Uehara?”

I have to suppress a giggle. „Of course not! How did you get that idea?”

„Well, you know the rumours about Ms. Uehara…”

„Actually I don’t. What are the rumours about her?”

„Well… They say she lost her previous job, because…” He hesitates for a second. „…because she had an affair with a minor.”

I roll my eyes. „Sure, and if that were true she’d certainly be offered a job at a school right away. Where did you hear a rumour like that?”

Hisao drops his head sheepishly. „Last week I was waiting with Miki in front of the nurse’s office, and she told me.”

I turn to Hisao and give him a playful smack on the back of his head. „You should know better than to listen to her. That girl has more imagination than Lewis Carroll, and her stories are almost as surreal. Do you know what the current rumour about your reason for being at Yamaku is?”

Hisao shakes his head, so I tell him. His eyes go wide. „Surely nobody believes this!”

I don’t bother to hide my grin at his reaction. „Well, you know there’s always some dimwit who believes everything they’re told and passes it on as fact…”

„Ouch.” He looks at me with a hurt expression. Damn, he’s learning how to do my special puppy-dog eyes!

„Anyway,” I say, changing the subject, „Jun would never do something like that.”

“Really? How would you know?”

Uh oh… Out of the frying pan and into the fire! Now, this could be awkward... Guess I’ll take the direct approach. “Well, do you remember when I told you I had a boyfriend before we met?”

“Yes, what…” His head whips around to face me. “Wait, you mean that was Jun?”

“Yes, his baseball training used to be before my track training during our first year, and sometimes he’d stay behind to cheer us on. Sometime we’d hang out after that…”

Hisao falls silent for a while, and I gaze out over the lake as we continue to walk.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I try to discern his feelings about this, but come up blank. “Well, I didn’t plan to keep it a secret, but you never asked, so I thought either you didn’t care or you didn’t want to know.”

He shrugs. “Maybe you were right. I guess it doesn’t really matter. It just seems strange that you’d date someone who smokes. I’m surprised you let him get away with that.”

“Oh, he didn’t smoke back then. In fact…” I hesitate, unsure of how much to say. Jun told me a lot of things about himself and his family that he wouldn’t want widely known, but I guess I can tell Hisao about that. “Promise me you won’t repeat this to anyone!”

Hisao nods.

“Well, I think he just started smoking to spite Shizune.”

“What?”

“Yes, A few months into our second year he got into a big fight with Shizune about school rules and stuff. You know how she can be. Anyway, the next day he came to school with his first pack of cigarettes, and he made a point of always smoking when Shizune was around. I think it’s more of an image thing for him.”

Hisao shakes his head. “Yes, that sounds like something he’d do, and I can imagine Shizune’s reaction.”

“Oh yes.” I break into a grin, remembering. “She was furious, but Jun just kept ignoring her. I think she was close to hitting him once, but of course that would have meant he’d won. Nowadays they just avoid each other whenever possible.”

We walk on in silence. The trail swings close to the lake at this point, and I scan the shore for marimo. Of course I have no such luck. I guess they’re protected for a reason.

A bit ahead of us, Ms. Uehara and Jun have stopped and turned around. “I think we should turn back here,” she says, “or we’ll be too late for the return trip.”

Hisao looks at his watch. “I guess she’s right. Besides, maybe we can grab a bite in Akanko. I’m getting a bit hungry.”

I look at the way ahead, disappointed that we have to turn back already, but Hisao is right. I’m getting a bit hungry as well. I turn around and put my arm around his waist. “In that case let’s hurry back and find something to eat.”

Re: Tripping

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:01 pm
by Minister of Gloom
My god, you actually continued this story! Now I'm honor bound to continue mine. :)

I really enjoy your writing. It's incredibly professional, and everything is so well thought out! I used to think that you were one of the devs when I first arrived on the forum. Please keep this up!

Re: Tripping

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:45 pm
by stanman237
Nice to see you continuing this even though you have to translate the whole story which could take years. Well I wish you good luck on that

Re: Tripping

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 7:01 pm
by Elcor
Really interesting, I'm looking forward to reading more.

Re: Tripping

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:51 pm
by Joonwoo
I'm lookin forward to updates :)

Re: Tripping

Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 5:11 am
by Mirage_GSM
This story is not dead. It is on temporary but very extended hold, while I'm working on the German translation of KS.
I might add one or two chapters once I'm finished translating Emi's path, though, which could be sometime next month.

Re: Tripping

Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:56 am
by Carighan
Machst du die Übersetzung alleine? O.O

Re: Tripping

Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:34 am
by Mirage_GSM
Like I promised, this story isn't dead.
It just updates extremely irregularly...

Day 4, 20:00
Ah, this feels good!

I turn the dial a few more degrees towards “hot” and relish the feeling of the water rinsing away the soap. After our hike halfway around Lake Akan and an afternoon spent in some boring museum with a faulty air-conditioning I was feeling kind of ripe.

Nevertheless Ikuno and I agreed to let Mai have the first go at the showers since she’d take the longest to finish. Then Ikuno and I played jan-ken to decide who would go second, which I lost. Next time I’ll suggest drawing lots.

My musings are interrupted by a couple of forceful knocks on the bathroom door.

“Are you ready to go Nanami? Dinner is starting soon.”

“Just two more minutes, Ikuno, I’m almost done!”

I turn off the water and reach for the bottle of shampoo, but instead of grabbing it, I miss and knock it from its tray. Instinctively I try to catch it before it hits the floor of the bathtub, but that makes me lose my balance, and with a sharp scream, I fall down, hitting my elbow hard against the spigot on my way down.

Immediately the door flies open and Ikuno rushes in. “Nanami, what happened? Are you okay?”

Grimacing I sit back up and examine my elbow, experimentally moving the joint a few times. “I think nothing’s broken. Smarts like hell, though.” I look up at her and extend my good arm to let her help me stand up. I’d rather not risk falling down again.

She pulls me to my feet and hands me a towel. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to rush you.”

“Not your fault. It was just my own clumsiness. I’ve got no one to blame but myself.” and my mother, but I keep that latter thought to myself.

As I step out of the bathtub and start drying myself off, I see Mai watching me from the doorway. She could probably hear that thought even if I didn’t vocalize it…

***

Fifteen minutes later we’re all sitting in the cafeteria digging into our supper. My elbow sports a nasty bruise by now, so I went with a long-sleeved blouse for the evening. The sun has already gone down so it’s not too hot anymore.

I’m just about to get up to get seconds when Mr. Nomiya strikes his glass with a knife to get our attention. I decide to sit back down and wait until he’s done with his speech.

“…oys and girls… … gram … orrow. … weather forecast…”

Why can’t he ever speak loudy and clearly? Frustrated, I look around the room until I spot Leon translating for the twins. If I push my chair back half a meter I can make out his signs from here...

…probably going to rain tomorrow. That’s why we’re doing the trip to the Kawayu Hot Springs that we planned to do on Friday tomorrow. I hope you can bear the rain better when you’re all wet anyway.

Leon grimaces as he translates this. So this was the joke Mr. Nomiya chuckled about a few seconds ago… Well, at least there’s one person in the room who finds it funny.

The hot spring we’re going to is part of the Midoriya hotel, and sadly in the morning its use is restricted to guests of the hotel. So you’ll be able to sleep in tomorrow, but let me remind you that breakfast hours are only until half past nine. Lunch will be at noon, and our bus will depart one hour later.

As Mr. Nomiya goes on to advertise some art club activities in the morning I lose interest and instead let my gaze roam across the room. Jun is whispering something to the others at his table to the great amusement of Ooki and Hisao, while Emi turns beet red and tries to kick him under the table. Too bad she seems to have missed.

In the corner of the room, Lilly and Hanako are sitting a bit removed from the rest of the group. Hanako is looking a bit ill. For a moment I wonder what’s wrong with her, but then I realize the obvious: We’re going to a hot spring tomorrow. Of course she’ll be mortified by the thought. At Yamaku she always showers before six in the mornings so she won’t run into anyone else. When we were both in our first year I once ran into her there, and she completely freaked out.

Well, I expect the nurse will let her opt out of this trip.

In the meantime Mr. Nomiya seems to have finished his speech, and I remember that I wanted to get a second helping of the teriyaki.

I rise from my chair. “I’m going for seconds. Do you want anything as well, Mai?”

“Yes, please.” She carefully picks up her plate and extends it to me. “Will you be okay with two plates.”

Before I can answer, Ikuno takes the plate from Mai’s hand. “I’m taking it. I was going to go for seconds as well.” As we both eye her skeptically she adds, “Just vegetables, no carbs.”

“I think I could have handled two plates, but thanks anyway.”

I wonder if she really was going to get more for herself or if she’s just trying to help out Mai and me. In the end it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Re: Tripping

Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:21 pm
by WRXJoey
It's alive IT'S ALIVE
Thanks for the new chapter :D

Re: Tripping

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:10 am
by Mirage_GSM
Ooh, look! Another chapter already...

Day 5, 08:00
Damn that weather!

Nomiya sure wasn’t kidding when he said it would probably rain today. It started around two o’clock in the morning and kept on until now. Since our rooms are directly beneath the roof I didn’t get nearly enough sleep tonight.

Still, since trying to get more sleep was moot anyway, I decided to at least get a decent breakfast.

As I come down the stairs, I see several people already in the lobby. On one couch there are Leon and Misaki; apparently just sitting around bored. These days it’s remarkably easy to tell the twins apart: The one who is even more irritable than usual has to be Mizuki. She really hates being dragged along on this trip to nowhere.

In the other corner of the room there are Emi, Hisao and Ooki sitting around a table and chatting animatedly.

Ooki gives me a wave. “Morning, Jun! You’re up early.”

Deciding to postpone my breakfast a bit, I make a beeline for the table and plop down on the couch next to Ooki. “Yup. Couldn’t sleep at all with the rain hammering against the window all night. You?”

Ooki grins. “I’ve been out like a light since directly after dinner last night. Slept like a baby and woke up at half past six this morning. Sat around bored until those two returned from their morning run.”

I raise my left eyebrow and look at Hisao. “She took you running in this weather? Boy, you really do love her, don’t you.”

Hisao blushes a deep crimson, and Emi tries to kick me with her prosthetic. Too bad for her I was expecting that.

“Hisao has to get himself back in shape. It’s part of his therapy. We can’t skip his training just because of a little rain. Besides, it’s still warm outside, so we won’t catch a cold.”

I look at her questioningly, but she doesn’t elaborate. I don’t think Hisao has told many people why he is at Yamaku, but between Lilly’s cryptic remark the other day and Emi’s ‘therapy’ I think I can form an educated guess. As long as he’s not comfortable talking about it, I probably shouldn’t broach the topic, though.

Before the silence can get too uncomfortable, Ooki speaks up. “Speaking of the rain, It looks like it’s going to keep up for a while. We should all be sure to watch TV tonight.”

At this, Hisao breaks out in giggles, while Emi and I just stare at each other confusedly. “Why? To see the forecast for tomorrow?”

Hisao waves his girlfriend off, still smiling. “No, no. That was supposed to be a joke, but if you don’t know the reference, you can’t get it.” He turns to Ooki. “I really hope nobody of us is going to show up on TV, though.”

I’m about to question him further, when Nomiya comes down the stairs. “Good morning, children! I hope you all slept well.”

We all look up at him and nod our heads.

He pokes his head into the cafeteria, then turns back to us. “Say, have any of you seen Tezuka? I wanted to talk to her about her last painting, but she doesn’t seem to be in her room.”

Emi seems surprised by that. “She isn’t? When Hisao and I left for our run, she was still asleep.”

Nomiya strokes his chin. “Strange… Oh well, I’ll just have to look for her. The house isn’t that big after all.” He heads for the corridor leading towards the common rooms.

Before he can reach it though, Misaki stands up, staggers a few steps in his direction and catches his sleeve.

He stops and looks at her confusedly. “Yes, Yamaguchi? Is there something you wanted?”

Misaki starts to gesture one-handed without letting go of Nomiya’s sleeve. Her gestures don’t make any sense - one-handed gestures rarely do – but Nomiya doesn’t know sign language anyway, so what is she…?

Nomiya looks to Leon for a translation.

“Misaki… ah… dizzy… Bring nurse, yes?”

A bright smile appears on Nomiya’s face. “Ah, yes, must be the humidity. Don’t worry, I’ll get you upstairs to see Miss Uehara. I’m sure you’ll be fine if you just lay down for a while.”

Misaki gives him a thankful smile, though she couldn’t possibly have understood a word of what he said. As she lets herself be led upstairs I shoot a questioning glance at Leon.

So what was that about. Using sign language will be both more convenient for Leon and keep Nomiya from hearing whatever they want to keep secret from him.

Leon smiles apologetically and signs his reply. Rin and Nanami are in the common room, but we don’t want Mr. Nomiya to walk in on them right now.

I raise my eyebrow suggestively. Oh? What are they doing in there all by themselves?

Dumbass. I didn’t think that word was in Leon’s sign vocabulary. Mr. Nomiya’s birthday is the day after tomorrow. The art club is working on a collage for him, and we didn’t get it finished before we left Yamaku. So Rin and Nanami are working on it right now. And now excuse me. I have to get Rin, before Mr. Nomiya comes back.

As Leon leaves for the common rooms, I relay the information to my three gestically challenged companions.

“Well, duh. Why didn’t she tell me? I’m sure I could have managed a way better distraction than Misaki.”

“I’m sure you could, Emi, but they wanted to distract only Mr. Nomiya and not the whole youth hostel.” Before that quip can have any consequences for me, I rise. “So, anybody else up for some breakfast?”

Ooki is quick to back me up. “Thought you’d never ask. Let’s go!”

**********

Anyone who notices an apparent contradiction to one of the earlier chapters will have to... just wait and see ;-)

Re: Tripping

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:08 pm
by griffon8
It lives again!

Interesting to see a story started before the release continue after it. I just made my stories short enough not to worry about that.

One comment: while 'nobody of us is going' is grammatically correct (nobody being a singular noun), to English ears it sounds awkward. I suggest 'none of us are going' instead. Unless it somehow affects the joke which, like Emi and Jun, I don't get.

Re: Tripping

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:18 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Well, it usually is just a single person showing up on TV. It wouldn't totally kill the joke, but I'm still going to leave it as it is.
Interesting to see a story started before the release continue after it.
Yes, when I reread the story last year, I found it interesting how much of what I'd written was actually compatible with the finished VN.
I listed the few things that differ from the VN canon somewhere at the top of this page.

Re: Tripping

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:58 pm
by Mader Levap
I hope it will continue. This kind of format (string of mini-chapters, every one from POV of next person) is refreshingly different from usual.