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Because it wouldn't seem right for this day to go by without an associated story. I'm only going to write Hanako's because I have no clue what kind of character development will occur with the others. There might be a second part on the way, depending on if I decide to finish it.

Life officially sucks.

I’m sitting here on February 14th, the day of love worldwide. I should be spending the day with Hanako, Instead...

Ke:“Hand me that disc will ya?”

Hi:“Yeah yeah, give me a second.”

I have been trapped, held hostage in my own room by my neighbour due to another one of his insane theories. I hand him the disc and he pops it into the old laptop he’s set up on my desk.

Hi:“Quick question”

Ke: “Shoot, or don’t unless that’s what you’re asking about.”

Hi: “Why the hell are you in my room?”

Ke: “They won’t expect me to be here, don’t worry, I’ve air sealed the place.”

If you can call using packing tape around the door and window air sealing...

Hi: “Why?”

Ke: “Airborne toxins, I think they’re going to strike today. It also keeps out the food based ones as well.”

Hi: “I assume you mean the chocolate nearly every other guy in school is getting.”

Ke: “Exactly, they use the airborne pheromones to distract everyone, then they get you with mind controlling chocolate. It’s a devious plan.”

Hi: “Uh huh.”

I begin looking for a way out, preferably without alerting Kenji. Then again, do I really want him in my room... alone... in semi-panic mode?

Hi: “You know what would be really clever, you could try one of the unused rooms in the school. Maybe one without windows, way in the back.”

Ke: “Risky plan, they could’ve already released the gas. We’d be walking straight into a trap.”

Hi: “Well I’m sure they won’t notice when neither of us show up, and they certainly won’t come looking for us where we live...”

Ke: “Hmm I guess moving camp would be in our best interests.”

He begins tearing off the tape on my door and packing his setup (his laptop, several charts, a map and god knows what else) into a duffel bag and leans up against the door.

Ke: “We have to be careful, and sneaky, like a snake.”

Hi: “Of course.”

I wait until he opens the door and starts walking down the hall before I follow.

Hi: “Hey Kenji?”

Ke: “What’s up?”

Hi: “I need you to punch me; pain might help us overcome the gas right?”

Ke: “Good idea.”

He gives me a light punch to the shoulder; just enough that it’ll bruise and I’ll feel it for awhile. I retaliate with my hardest punch delivered straight to his stomach.

Ke:“Too... much...”

I quickly make a break for the hall door, followed by a fast walk into the open air. I slow my pace after I leave the dorms and calmly walk to the school, as if the last hour had never happened. Thankfully, this fiasco started early enough that I’m only slightly late for first class.

(Time Skip)

The beginning of lunch turns into an interesting display. Most of the girls in our class near simultaneously pull out bags and then trying to rush out the door all at once. Not to mention that there are people trying to get in causing even further chaos.

Ha: “Hisao?”

Thank god my girlfriend is in the same class.

Hi: “What can I do for you Hanako?”

Ha: “H-here.”

She pushes an elaborately wrapped box into my hands before beginning to fidget in place.

Ha: “S-sorry, I’ve never...”

Hi: “Thank you. I don’t think I’ve actually gotten real ones before.”

Ha: “R-really?”

I notice at least two of the other guys giving me death stares.

Hi: “At least this isn’t a surprise, I’m sure a BUNCH of guys are going to get confessed to without any warning what so ever.”

My rather loud statement causes other the guys to back down, each one with the same look on their face that clearly reads: ’please don’t let me be the only guy left out.’

Ha: “I think Li-”

I cover her mouth before she can finish. I’d rather not be killed out of jealousy.

Hi: “Tea room right?”

She nods behind my hand and we quietly vacate the room.

Lily is already waiting for us when we finally make it there.

Li:“Trouble?”

Hi: “A bit. everyone is going a little... crazy.”

I briefly entertain the thought of mentioning that it’s mostly the female students causing problems. I dismiss it as Kenji’s paranoid ranting from this morning. A large thud from outside the door confirms my statement.

Li: “Could you go see what’s wrong Hisao?”

Hi: “Sure.”

I open the door to find one of my least favourite people sitting on the floor.

Hi: “Kenji?!”

Li: “hmmmm?”

Ha: “wh-what?”

Ke: “Hey man, you been hiding out here?”

Hi: “Uh... no, Just having lunch. What the hell are you doing here?”

Ke: “This seemed like the safest place in the building. Most of those bitches wouldn’t come near here.”

I can hear the silence behind me. If I don’t convince him to leave now, there’s going to be... problems. I drop my voice to a whisper.

Hi: “Might want to move over a few doors, they’re already here. I’ll distract them while you get away.”

Ke: “R-really... they’re more cunning than I gave them credit for. You’re a good man Hisao, I owe ya.”

He slinks down the corridor, duffel bag over his shoulder and slip into another room.

Li: “Hisao?”

Hi: “Yeah?”

Li: “Who was that?”

Hi: “Kenji, from your class.”

Li: “I have never heard Kenji speak... in that way before.”

She shakes her head, trying to shake the memory out of her head. She seems quite eager to put the incident out of her mind as quickly as possible.

Li: “Hisao, Hanako these are for you.”

She pulls two identical boxes out and hands one to each of us.

Hi: “Lilly can I ask you something really stupid?”

Li: “What is it?”

Hi: “How does that work?”

Li: “What do you mean?”

Ha: “Here Lilly.”

She hands Lilly a box that is slightly smaller than the one she gave me.

Li: “Thank you Hanako. Now what was it you wanted to ask Hisao.”

Hi: “That just answered my question, bit depressing though.”

Li: “Hmmmm?”

Hi: “You can just give each other chocolate today right? Meanwhile I have to go insane for a month trying to pick something, and then my wallet is empty for the next few weeks”

They both begin laughing, glad they can find it funny.

Li: “Sorry Hisao, I didn’t know it was that much pressure.”

Ha: “I... I suppose I could g-give you something that wouldn’t cost much... if...if you wanted... ”

Hanako leans in with her face turning redder by the second.

Hi: “Eh? Wait wha-what about Lilly? She’s right- ”

Li: “Hmmm, is there someone else here? I seem to have gone temporarily deaf.”

Hanako proceed to use her mouth to suffocate me, stopping only when my face begins turning red from lack of air.

Hi: “Was that really necessary?”

Ha: “W-well you don’t have to worry about what to buy... ”

Hi: “Actually now I have to worry about what to buy in return for the chocolate and trying not killing you with the return kiss.”

Ha: “S-sorry.”

She doesn’t look the least bit sorry. I tap Lilly shoulder to let her know Hanako has managed to not kill me.

Hi: “Can we eat lunch now? You know, pretend like it isn’t a holiday?”

Li: “Of course”

The rest of lunch proceeds normally as per my request, minus a few jokes at my expense.

When we return to class the same group of guys repeat their death stares, apparently it was a bad day for them. The rest of class proceeds as usual, even walking back to the dorms with the two girls proves to be exceptionally normal given what happened at lunch.

I never knew Hanako kiss by sucking the air out of people. That's probably gonna kill Hisao after a couple such more.

a few parts made me laugh.

Hanako is an air vampire!

Virgins don't know 'bout breathing through their noses.

And Hanako stopped the kiss because it was Hisao who was suffocating. Not her.

Hmm...

^either that or he happens to be stuffed up. it's Feb. 14. and unless there's a huge time jump in the original's story, Hisao probably isn't a complete novice or a virgin anymore.

an notice on the second part.... it's uh kinda turning into a FMP: fumoffu episode. I have a couple guesses as to why (too much gundam probably, you can find a wing reference in pt 1) but i'm just going to run with it anyways.

I will make one promise though to those who... aren't Hanako fans. the next piece will not feature Hanako or Lilly. I will attempt to not even mention her if possible.

edit: btw noone objects to kenji being verbally/physically attacked right?

chaix wrote:edit: btw noone objects to kenji being verbally/physically attacked right?

Why would we? Isn't that what he's there for?

dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I have no idea which part of my brain this came from. more Kenji abuse, more wth than I know what to do with and the return of the resident fan-girl director.... anyone who likes a basic, realistic romantic comedy STOP READING HERE.

(blank skip)

My head hurts, like someone has had it in a vice or something. When I open my eyes, my vision is... blurry at best, a swirling mass of colour at worst. I can just barely hear someone moving around, I try to raise myself up... no good my arms and legs aren’t that cooperative. My neck seems to work, if a bit stiff, so I try calling out.

Hi:“hrrrrmmmm”

Nothing comprehensible, but it does seem to alert the other person to my presence.

??:“Himao?”

Hearing’s still a bit fuzzy, but I can make out my name.

??: “Cam wu hear we?”

it takes a moment to decipher the question, but I try moving my head as best as I can to awnser.

??: “Wank wod you’re awight!”

I feel a light pressure on both sides, I guess I’m being hugged?

??: “I have to wo owt for a bit. Wu shoud west.”

I can vaguely hear a door shut followed by silence. I can’t see any reason not to, so I take the voice’s advice and let my mind slip back into the void.

(time skip)

I open my eyes to a much more defined world than the one I left. I move my neck around, it’s still stiff but it’s better than before. I try moving my arms and legs, they’re
even stiffer. Moving from where i’m laying isn’t an option for now. I look around the room, It appears that for whatever reason, I’m laying in Hanako’s bed. Since my
ability to move is next to zero at the moment I opt to wait for Hanako to return. I don’t have to wait long, I can just hear her key entering the lock, it sounds as though
she has a bag with her.

Ha:“Hisao, are you awake?”

Hi: “Yes.”

she runs over to the bed and starts hugging me again, or at least what I assume to be again.

Ha: “H-How are you feeling?”

Hi: “I have a massive headache, and my arms and legs feel like rocks.”

Ha: “B-but you’re okay right?”

Hi: “I think so.”

She squeezes tighter, it’s just bordering on the level of pain now.

Hi: “Why am I in your room?”

Ha: “Uh.... wh-what do you remember last?”

Hi: “Going into the boys dorms, then... nothing.”

Ha: “Do you remember anything after that?”

Hi: “No, just some fuzzy images. I think it was you leaving the room. What happened?”

Ha: “S-some girls were... aggressive.”

Hi: “Aggressive, Like blunt object to the head? It would explain the headache.”

Ha: “N-no... apparently some of the others didn’t want to be alone and...”

Hi: “What?”

Ha: “They... they... theygassedtheboysdorm!”

Hi: “Wh-what?”

Ha: “They- they g-gassed you and the others.”

Hi: “WITH WHAT?!”

Ha: “I-I’m not sure.”

Hi: “I’m not going to die am I?”

Ha: “I-I don’t think so...”

Hi: “So how did I end up here?”

Ha: “One of the girls noticed you on the floor. They brought you here because they said they you were ‘claimed’ already.”

Hi: “C-claimed? What am I, a piece of luggage? And where were the teachers?”

Ha: “I-I heard some of them...m-might have been... in on it.”

No verbal sound could possibly express my disbelief at this moment, I simply let my jaw drop in response.

Ha: “It’s too late to do anything now... we’ll just have to sleep on it.”

Sleep? They could’ve killed us. I’m far too pissed at whoever did this to sleep!

Hi: “Shouldn’t we do something?!”

Ha: “I-it’s just past midnight, a-anyone we could try to ask for help is either asleep or knows about it already.”

Hanako changes into her pajamas (while I both curse and praise that my lower body is still mostly paralyzed), and we both go to sleep.

(time skip)

??: “Wake up Hanako! Wake up Hanako!”

I wake up to Hanako’s alarm going off, probably the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I shut it off then wake her up myself.

Ha: “What time is it?”

Hi: “Little past seven, we need to get ready for class. Maybe we’ll find out about what happened last night.”

Ha: “Do you need to go back to your room?”

Hi: “Probably, it should be okay right?”

Ha: “P-probably... can you move around by yourself?”

Hi: “Think so...”

I try standing up, my legs are still stiff, but it’s nowhere near as bad as last night.

Hi: “I should be fine. Though If I’m late for class, come find me.”

Ha: “O-okay.”

I take a fairly leisurely pace on the way to my room, mostly because of my legs feeling sluggish, but also because I don’t want to agitate my un-medicated heart. The dorms
are... quieter then they should be, like one of those ghost towns you figure only exist in books and movies. I quickly change and take the morning meds before heading
back to the school. Despite what happened, it seems relatively normal, right up until I get to my class and find someone else in my seat.

Hi: “Uh, Lelouch... what are you doing in my chair?”

He raises his chin to reveal a small black collar around his neck.

Mi:“I claimed him last night Hicchan, you can go and sit with your girlfriend.”

Even though it’s Misha talking, the venom in Shizune’s words is still obvious”

Hi: “Wait, claimed... you mean”

Mi: “I was the first to put my collar on him, therefore he’s mine, er Sicchan’s.”

A closer examination of the collar reveals Shizune’s name in gold.

Hi: “So you were one of the ones who attacked us last night?”

Le:“Heh I wouldn’t call it attacked, more like mass kidnapping.”

Shizune makes a small movement with her hand and Lelouch winces in pain.

Mi: “Bad Lelouch, talking out of turn.”

Le: “Sorry, Shizune.”

His voice is filled with the same poison I felt from Shizune before. It’s probably a good thing she can’t hear it.

Le: “Anyway, you should probably go over to Hanako, it’ll be safer for you if you’re with her.”

I walk over to Hanako’s desk and take the desk to her left; I hope the guy who normally sits here doesn’t mind.

Hi: “Find out anything I should know?”

Ha: “N-no, but I haven’t seen Lilly yet so-”

She’s interrupted by Muto opening the door, followed shortly after by a woman.

Mu:“As many of you know, last night an incident occurred in the boys dorm. Because of this, I will be forced to teach with a... companion today. This as some of you know, is Ms. Yamaku, our school’s director and apparently my owner.”

A collective silence falls over the class as we process his statement.

??:“O-owner?”

??:“Why the hell does Muto get her?!”

??:“What the hell do you mean owner?”

Ya:“New school policy states that if a girl places one of our collars on a male of their choosing, they are to stay together until the girl chooses to remove it.”
Whether every guy is simply dumbstruck or trying to restrain their rage I’m not sure.

Le:“S-so i’m stuck with this witch for the rest of the year.”

Ya:“If she feels that she’s in love with you... yep!”

Hi: “And why was this policy implemented?”

Ya:“Because our student council president was quite distraught that males are more likely to break a young girl’s heart.”

Hi: “And the gas?”

Ya:“Hmmm gas?”

She looks over at Shizune.

Ya:“Oh that, apparently it’s a sleeping agent mixed with female pheromones.”

Ha: “U-um wh-what about couples who are a-already t-together.”

Ya:“Hmm, what was that?”

She walks over so Hanako can whisper in her ear. In her hand I can just see a black cord.

Ya:“Oh that, you’re Ikezawa right? Which one is yours?”

She lightly grabs my shirt.

Ha: “y-you don’t have to d-do that-”

I can feel the collar snap around my neck... crap.

Ya:“There you go, just think of it as a deterrent for the other girls, like a wedding ring.”

Ha: “w-w-w-”

Hi: “And when does this thing come off?!”

Ya:“When you graduate, Or when she decides to dump you.”

Her smile doesn’t help a bit, I’m pissed, just like every other guy in the room.

??:“And if we oppose this policy?”

Ya:“Well I have the master key in my office... if you want to try and take it.”

(time skip)

1600 hrs Loc: Tea room

Hi: “Alright Kenji, what’s the plan?”

Ke: “Barricade ourselves in here.”

I deliver a punch to Kenji’s gut.

Hi: “Why did I even bother... Lelouch, what’s the plan?”

Le: “We know the master key is here, but that door is heavily locked. Several of the guards are likely to be the owners of these collars.”

Hi: “Can we get these things off any other way?”

Le: “Not without risking bodily harm.”

Hi: “Alright then, how do we get in?”

Le: “You and Hanako can probably use the air ducts, we’ll make a distraction for you. If possible, we’ll try to open the front entrance so we can get rid of these blasted
things all at once.”

Hi: “Uh, why Is Hanako coming with me?”

Le: “One: Hanako is your owner, it’ll be less suspicious if you’re with her. Two: she’s the only female that I think we can trust. Three: you two might get a good mood or
something going, I’ve heard adrenaline is quite the aphro-”

I was trying to resist the urge to punch him, apparently I have more self-restraint than Hanako.

Har:“I don’t know what’s with all this stealth stuff, we should just charge in and-”

Le: “We’re men, not assholes. We don’t hit girls.”

Har: “Fine time to be noble.”

Hi: “Alright, Hisao, you’ve got your assignment. Good luck.”

Ke:“Why the hell are we relying on women for-”

Haruhiko tries his best to mimic my earlier attack, he doesn’t hold back as much though.

Ke:“F-feminist.... b-bitches.”

We leave the room just as Kenji passes out.

Ha: “Hi-hisao... w-was that a war meeting?”

Hi: “Err... I guess so. Everything happened kinda fast.”

Ha: “Where are we going?”

Hi: “The maintence room, according to kenji’s maps, there’s an air vent that connects directly to the director’s office.”

We reach the room (more a closet than an actual room) without running into anyone. we rearrange a couple boxes to give us something to stand on and I open the vent.

Hi: “I’ll pull you up, give me a second.”

I climb up into the vent, It’s surprisingly roomy, I can almost sit upright in it.

Hi: “Give me your hand.”

I pull Hanako up, and we begin working our way through the air ducts.

Ha: “Hisao, I-if I had tried t-to put a collar on you the first day, would you...”

Hi: “Wha- You’re asking this now?”

Ha: “S-sorry. You would’ve hated me right?”

Hi: “Not hated. Mad definitely, possibly curious as to why someone I had never met wanted to do something like that to me. Not hate though. You’re not actually saying
you like this insane thing though right?”

Ha: “O-of course not. I-if I had the chance though, I-I might’ve done it.”

Hi: “Would you have liked forcing me to be with you?”

Ha: “N-no.”

Hi: “Then you wouldn’t have done it, and it’d probably turn out the same way. Unless shizune stuck her collar on me, then I might’ve end up as her slave or something”

Ha: “R-right.”

Hi: “Give me a second, where are we?”

Ha: “Uh I think we just passed our class a little while ago.”

Hi: “Let’s see...”

I pull out a flashlight and go over the map.

Hi: “I think we made a wrong turn two junctions back.”

Ha: “S-sorry.”

Hi: “We’ll just have to turn around and go the right way. You take the map, I’ll follow you.”

As I turn around, I notice another problem.

Hi: “Uh, Hanako... your skirt... ”

Ha: “Wha- owww”

Her surprise apparently made her forget she was in a closed space, resulting in her banging her head against the top of the duct with a huge thud.

Hi: “H-here let me...”

I flip down the back of her skirt so that my vision now consists of a green wall surrounded by dark grey metal.

Ha: “Y-you didn’t see-”

Hi: “K-kind of... I tried to look away when I noticed.”

Ha: “I-I know I shouldn’t mind but...”

Hi: “Don’t worry, just keep going”

After a few minutes we have corrected our course and we are just outside the director’s office.

Hi: “Anyone there?”

Ha: “I don’t see anyone.”

Hi: “Good, here’s the screwdriver”

Maybe a minute later I hear the cover fall to the floor and we slide out.

??:“Welcome Mr.Hero, come to spoil my fun?”

The director spins her chair around like some evil villain greeting the hero before breaking out into a fit of giggling

Ya:“Sorry, couldn’t resist. Key’s in the top shelf of that cabinet.”

Hi: “Huh?”

Ya: “I was kind of hoping you guys would stick with it for a day or two though. ”

Hi: “You knew we would come for the key?”

Ya: “From the very second Miss Hakamichi proposed the idea. I just wanted to see what would happen.”

Ha: “Y-you mean we were all... we were like your pawns?!”

Ya: “Pawns would mean I had control, it was more like watching a tv show.”

She motions to several screens on another desk, each one showing images of the chaos inside the school.

Ya: “I’d get out of here as soon as you get the key. I’m under the impression that that girl has a grudge against you.”

She motions to a screen showing Shizune and Misha making their way toward her office.

Hi: “Got it, Hanako c’mon. We had better get outta here”

I pull myself into the vent and the help Hanako get back in.

Mi: “Director!”

Just in time too apparently. Behind us I can hear a very energetic Misha inform the director of the other’s distraction. After a few minutes we reach a ceiling grate that I
assume to be the one in the room where we were all supposed to meet up.

Hi: “Coming down!”

Despite my warning I can feel that I landed on someone.

Hi: “Er sorry... I tried to war- oh.”

Turns out I had landed on Kenji’s unconscious body; apparently they stuck him in here to hide him.

Hi: “It’s safe, just drop down.”

She turns out to have a bit more momentum than I had anticipated, slamming me to the ground and landing on top of me.

Ha: “S-sorry.”

Le: “Well I thought you might get in a good mood, but this is a bit ridiculous.”

Lelouch is now standing in the doorway, he must’ve opened it right after she fell.

Hi: “Mission accomplished, we got the key. What happened with the distraction though? Shizune almost caught us.”

Le: “The barriers we put up apparently didn’t hold as long, and whatever the science guys cooked up did just as much damage to us as it did to them.”

Hi: “Hanako, could you get this off me? It’s getting annoying.”

Ha: “S-sure.”

She unlocks the collar and hands the key to Lelouch.

Le: “Thanks for the help Hanako. I’ll get this to the other guys. You two... carry on with what you’re doing. You might want to remove the idiot though.”

Hi: “We were just about to leave anyways. I’m not sure which will be more dangerous tonight; the girl’s dorms, or the guy’s.”

Le: “Definitely ours, I’m sure a couple guys will be celebrating, and it’s always possible the girls will be pissed. If you guys want some quiet though, I could probably help.”

Hi: “Uh... thanks? I don’t think Hanako wants to stay over tonight though-”

Ha: “Y-you stayed with me l-last night... I-I suppose I could return the favour.”

Le: “Looks like you’re overruled buddy. I assure you, you will not be disturbed. As for me... I have a certain witch to deal with.”

There’s a small click as he unlocks his collar and he walks down the hall. We head back to the dorm before the others return and fall asleep before they can disturb us.

HAHAHAHAHA! And I could totally see Shizune doing that, too.

hahahaha, awesome!
It's really good. I'd like to read more of it

Awesome!
...Awesome in some very weird way. I'd read more.

Roflmao That was pretty awesome.

I totally wouldn't mind Lelouch vs Shizune for a change.

I found it unintentionally hilarious that Lelouch would get caught up in this. Mostly because I forgot he was in Hisao's class.

And was that offer of silence for the two lovebirds implying Geassing the others? "I, Lelouch vi Britannia, command you to be silent while these two make sweet, sweet love!"

na, he doesn't have geass here(more on that later). he does still have connections/influence. he can easily get someone to guard he hallway.

And who else could come up with a plan anyways, Haruhiko? you saw his plan (Har). I figured that he's the only guy in Hisao's class who could go up against Shizune and have a shot a actually winning.

On the other hand, that line would either be one of the greatest lelouch lines ever, or the most hilarious i'm not sure which