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Hey guys! I've had some ideas for a new KS story running in my head for a few days, and I figure I'll write them down. I've only got the prologue of this baby done, and I hate giving you so little to read, but if I don't post anything, I don't think I'll ever finish this. So, tell me what you think, I hope you enjoy it, and expect many updates, there will be quite a few chapters, when I can get my lazy ass to write them. And don't worry, no penile mutilation this time


Prologue

Tired of tracing my eyes across the ceiling for the fifth time, I look towards the door. He's been at it for about an hour, I've gotta say something. There's been a quiet chanting and shuffling at my door, and only one person here is crazy enough, or dedicated enough to do it. I may as well bite the bullet. Sigh.

I put my shoes and drag myself to the door, trying to convince myself to do it and just skip to the end of whatever crap Kenji's going to force onto me. Eh, with it being the weekend, and me not wanting to sleep late, I should remember to keep calm. I'll wait till later to snap at him, I'm sure he'll drive me towards it eventually.

I knock on the door, to get him to back away before I open the door, not wanting to hit him upon opening it. I open the door a crack, and call his name softly.

"You're alive! Whew, I thought I'd fucked up and accidentally killed you."

Sigh. I can tell this is gonna be a good one. I open the door the rest of the way. He smiles up at me like he's achieved some great victory and gets onto his feet.

"Uhhh, what are you talking about?"

Kenji grabs my wrist and pulls me into his room, closing the door and pressing his ear against it for a few seconds, before pulling away.

I look around his room, it's oddly baren. There are a few papers scattered around, but that's about it. I figure out why when I see a giant suitcase in the back of the room. I snap back to his face as he begins to speak.

"I've been trying to bless your room all morning. I got to the end of the chant alright, and I didn't accidentally curse you or anything, as you're still alive and well, so I think it was pretty successful for my first time blessing someone else's room!"

He's absolutely beaming.

"...Why the, uhh, blessing?"

He lets out a sigh as his face goes from delighted to gravely serious.

"Demons. And monsters. Well, "monsters" are usually just undiscovered creatures, but some of them do have super powers, like invisibility. Most people think those are demons. See, demons are-"

"Wait, what's with the suitcase?"

"Ah, you noticed. I am sorry, Hisao, but I have to be leaving. I blessed my room, so the demons and monsters aren't waiting for me when I return, and I gave your room the same as a parting gift. Though I plan to return. If this place is still standing. And it's not a demonic hellhole. Or a breeding ground for monsters."

Sigh, it seems the feminist conspiracy wasn't enough for him. It wasn't bad enough that to him, the feminists were a shady bunch of supervillains, but now he's had to add a fear of demons to keep himself occupied. Ah well, it's mildly amusing. Although a little worrisome. May as well play along, until he fills the sprinklers with holy water.

"So where are you going? Where will you be safe?"

"I can't tell you. Remember the invisibility monsters? There's also astral projection you gotta worry about, and pissed off spirits. Those assholes could be listening in right now. I can't even think of where I'm going, as there could be invisible demons, monsters, or astrally projected spirits that have mind-reading capabilities. Those are the fuckers you have to watch out for. Right now I have to use mental euphamisms and metaphors when I think of my plans, I can't just think of them straight away. I hope they don't crack the codes soon though, cause it's too difficult to make a contingency plan with this format."

"Huhh."

I put my fingers into my forehead, trying to massage away the strain I was getting as I realized I was going to have to hear about demons for the next few months, before he moved onto the next thing. I also tried to rub away the desire to laugh, as I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Ah well, gotta keep playing ball.

"Are you sure the demons are really after you?"

"Yes! I've had these recurring dreams for the past week, I can see their faces now...Well, I didn't really see their faces, it was kinda blurry, but I could tell they were scary-looking. They kept on calling my name, and they said they were coming for me. They mentioned your name too, so we've both gotta watch our asses, and prepare for the worst. Before the demonic uprising."

I released the tightening grip on my forehead and slumped into a chair by the door.

"I am sorry, Hisao, that you can't come with me. We're too like minded, and with us traveling together, in close proximity, our mental signals would be too strong, we'd be detected easily. I've gotta go it alone, though I have faith in you. I know you'll be safe here, you're my second in command after all. You'll be fine, my friend. Yeah, you'll be fine."

He puts his hand on my shoulder and nods solemnly.

Sure he was weird, and annoyed the fuck out of me at times, but whenever he thanked me or reacted to me playing along, I never got a hint of exaggeration. I think he really considered me his best friend in the world, and looked at me as his brother in arms. After the initial shock or repulsion at whatever new scenario he comes up with, it is sorta fun playing along with him. It reminded me of when I'd play pretend with other kids when I was younger. Except only I was the one pretending in this situation.

"Here, I grabbed you something at the store earlier. Don't think I forgot about you, I don't want you being here unarmed."

Kenji produces a small spray bottle.

"It's got a special herb mixed in with blessed water, it'll burn any horned fucker that tries to mess with you. The guy at the counter said he'd give me a discount on it, after I told him I gravely needed assistance in warding off the supernatural."

He places the bottle in my hands, and I nearly choke up as I realize what it really is.

A simple can of hairspray.

I silently sigh, I don't have the heart to tell him.

"Thanks Kenji, I really appreciate it."

He grabs the suitcase and grunts as he pushes it through the door. He turns back, scanning the room for any objects he missed. He looks back up at me.

"Expect a postcard from Puerto Rico same time next month."

"You're going to Puerto Rico?!"

"Fuck no, the chupacabra lives over there."

With that, he turns and walks down the hall.

"Watch out for those bitches! Don't let the demons distract you from their trifling ways!"

I sincerely hope nobody heard him. I sigh and watch him leave.

I wonder if parents go through this when their kid informs them that they are running away. I guess it's just a matter of time before he's back here, whenever he gets bored of this.

I hope.

"Well, that's it for that."

As I pull Kenji's door closed, I see a small object under his bed. Upon closer inspection, I see that it's a lighter.

"Kenji! You forgot your lighter!"

No response, he's probably bolted out of this place by now. Eh, it's probably better he doesn't have it, I don't want him to hurt himself thinking it's a pez dispenser.

I shake my head, that thought was in bad taste.

I close the door and prepare to start my weekend.

Elroy wrote:. . . no penile mutilation this time . . .

I will admit, this is the first thing that caught my mind and scared me for the rest of the story. I must ask, what exactly did you write about before this?

In any case, at the moment, I like the story. It seems to play with Kenji's usual "odd" persona. This is only the beginning, but it definitely has some possibilities, depending on what route you take. I only saw a few grammatical errors (the one caught me the easiest was the quote inside a quote, use ' instead of "), though I am a grammar Nazi, so please forgive me. If you like the story yourself, I would recommend continuing it, as so far, it is indeed well written.

Allaulten wrote:I will admit, this is the first thing that caught my mind and scared me for the rest of the story. I must ask, what exactly did you write about before this?

I did a story a few weeks ago, Pearly Whites, check it out, if you dare

Allaulten wrote:In any case, at the moment, I like the story. It seems to play with Kenji's usual "odd" persona. This is only the beginning, but it definitely has some possibilities, depending on what route you take. I only saw a few grammatical errors (the one caught me the easiest was the quote inside a quote, use ' instead of "), though I am a grammar Nazi, so please forgive me. If you like the story yourself, I would recommend continuing it, as so far, it is indeed well written.

I sincerely thank you! Ah, good eye on that, I'll be sure to watch out! Thanks again, I will be writing as soon as I can. I hope to not disappoint, or get too crazy. I was hesitant to put only this down, because it doesn't do a good job of showing what the "mood" of the story will be. I hope to have the next part down soon, so people will get a better look at what to expect.

Not a problem. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

In a while, I will be posting my own story that I am finishing up as I type here. If you get a chance, I ask that you read it and give your own opinion.

Allaulten wrote:Not a problem. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

In a while, I will be posting my own story that I am finishing up as I type here. If you get a chance, I ask that you read it and give your own opinion.

Ah, definitely! I'll keep an eye out.

I really hope this update doesn't disappoint. I finished this a while ago, then noticed there were glaring flaws poking holes throughout the whole thing. I've spent a while editing it, hoping I don't post it and then realize I effed up somewhere. Expect more updates in the coming days. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy.


Chapter 1

Several hours later, the sun begins to set. I step into the bathroom, wash my face, and catch myself smiling pretty hard. Today was a good day, a damn good one. With it being grading day, teachers are still lingering around, but we don't have to take any classes, so that left me plenty of time to hang out with friends. Hanging out with Shizune and Misha for most of it was nice, and the small glimpse of Hanako and Lilly caught my attention for a fair while. I only saw a bit of Rin in passing around the school, which was disappointing. Emi's been nice about giving me breaks on the weekends, as she doesn't want to crush me, but I do miss her, I hope I get to see her soon. I feel like I neglect her sometimes.

The water washes the fog in my mind away, and I wonder what's next. I figure it can't be fun and games all day, so I retreat to my room to get a head start on my homework. I've lived most of my life as a procrastinator, so Shizune turning me into what I am today is something that leaves her deserving of a medal. She indirectly pushes me to strive for more, acting as both someone who'll help me, and a competitor.

Ah, I catch myself. If I keep thinking about her, I'll never get this done. I shake my head and once again try to clear my mind.

The few simple math and history questions don't stand a chance, I clear all of them confidently within the half hour. I take another trip to the bathroom and hit the shower.

The whole time I've been working though....something's felt different. As if the world has been sneakily moving around me, I don't feel I'm in the same place as before. Maybe it's the cooling weather, and the change of seasons, but something feels different this evening. Maybe it's the lack of Kenji ranting at me while in the buff.

I rinse the soap out of my hair, turn the shower off, and get my clothes on. I take a few more minutes debating whether or not to stay in this nice and warm, steamy, room, or go to the, by comparison, freezing outside. I flash a smug smile at myself in the mirror and leave, only to be knocked over by a flash of white and pink.

I try to remember what just happened, replaying the last few seconds in my head as I push myself up and get off of the floor, looking at a troubled Shiina Mikado. Also known as Misha.

"Hicchan! I'm so glad to see you!" Misha darts into me, grabbing me in a hug. Although I'm confused, I'm not about to pass this up, and I hug her back. After a few seconds, she slinks out from under me.

"What's wrong, Misha?"

"Everything! Where is everybody?!"

"Uhh, I don't follow, were you meeting someone?"

"No, I mean, the school! I haven't seen anybody else, not in the hallways, not in the dorms, and I went to Shicchan's room earlier, she's not there either."

"Uhh, Misha, she could be outside, I don't get what the big deal is."

"That's just it! There's nobody outside!"

While I don't quite follow her sense of urgency, I have been feeling like things have been out of place around here. While I'm only a little uneasy, Misha looks very different from what I've seen before, she seems vulnerable. I should help her, at least keep her company, until Shizune gets back.

"Tell you what, I'll help you look for Shizune."

"Thank you, Hicchan! You know, you're probably right, it's probably nothing! But with a brave man like you around, I'm sure things'll turn out alright, Wahahaha!~"

Ahhh, from hearing the wahaha, I know things are better now.

"Lets check out her room, just to be sure she's not back there. Hey, she could even be wondering where we are right now."

Misha beams, her pearly whites baring themselves to me.

We walk side by side, clearing the men's dorms. Misha's humming fills the halls, getting rid of the silent void.

As we exit the men's dorms, I start to feel more uneasy. I haven't heard anybody here. This place is never loud, but usually, there's talking, chattering, and footsteps.

The usually bright and green Yamaku looks dim and dark blue, the sun nowhere to be seen. The fields of grass were only home to insects and trees. I feel like I'm being watched, like there are people all around me, I just can't see or hear them. I look around till something catches my eye, Misha sees it too. We don't say a word, we just stare. There is a thickening fog where the entrance of Yamaku was, but nowhere else. We can't even see the gate.

"I know it looks creepy, but come on, it's just the change of the season."

It's been a really weird day, but I can't quite turn into Kenji and think everything is a sign of the apacolypse.

Misha and I start to walk slowly, but build up a good pace over time.

Eventually, we make our way to the female dorms.

"Uhhh, I know you and Shizune could probably blow up the auxilary building and not get in trouble, but I don't think I'm supposed to be in the woman's dorms at this..uhh...time of day."

"Don't be silly Hicchan! You're coming with me!"

She takes my shoulder as a date would and guides me along into the woman's dwelling area. Somewhere out there, a tear rolls down Kenji's cheek. The stupid joke raises my spirits a bit.

My eyes scan from the floor to the ceiling.

"It smells nicer here, but I don't quite hear anything."

"Shh! Did you see that?!"

My eyes go back to middle level, looking at the empty hallway.

"I saw a shadow move, Hicchan! Shicchan! wait!"

Misha bounds towards the end of the hall. I don't want to say anything...but I don't think her shouts are gonna make a difference if it is Shizune.

I run after her, starting to pant a bit when we make it to the end of the hall. We look down the connecting corridor, it's empty.

Misha opens the door nearest to us, must be Shizune's.

Misha rushes in and turns on the light, no Shizune to be found. It's cold in here, really cold. The light on the ceiling buzzes and flickers a bit.

"Damn, where to next, Misha?"

Misha turns to me, obviously distraught.

"I...I don't know, Hicchan, I feel like I'm in a dream, it doesn't feel right."

Misha being over 10 feet away from Shizune and vice versa would weird me out enough, but with the emptiness of this place..something is definitely wrong here.

"Let's look some more, come on." I touch Misha's shoulder, hopefully comforting her a bit.

"Okay, Hicchan!"

Misha seems to go from 1 to 11 pretty quickly, not that I'm complaining. It's hard for things to look glum at all with her around. She's like a million watt lightbulb, as cheezy as that sounds.

She leads me through the rest of the woman's dorms. For the hell of it, I start to open the doors as we go along, each one revealing a spotless and slightly girly room, some more than others, but all of them without an owner present. This isn't going anywhere, but everyone's gotta be somewhere.

"Misha, there's nobody here. Let's check out the lobby. Maybe there was an announcement we missed, and everybody's gone there?"

She jumps at the idea, telling me it's a good one, and lets out one of her trademark Wahahas.

A few footsteps later we make it to the lobby. It's dead silent. We take a better look around, going through the place as if we'll find the entire student body hiding under a rug somewhere.

I check the calendar on the wall, seeing if something was supposed to happen today. I hear a scream. My heart feels a jolt and I rush over to where the sound came from. I approach Misha, there's a look of fear on her face. Her golden eyes catch mine and I look towards their gaze. She's looking towards the teacher's lounge....there IS no teacher's lounge. Where the door to it used to be, there's only a blank wall.

"What's going on here?!" Misha cries out.

"This is impossible...is someone playing a joke on us?!"

I took a closer look at the wall, and pound it with my fist. It was thick, not something to get through easily. I shout into the wall...no response. There were small red words on corner of the wall. I read it aloud.

"There was a door here....it's gone now. What the hell...?"

I threw up my hands in frustration. Was somebody fucking with us? Did the whole school band together to mess with Misha, or me? There was no logical explanation to this...this was just plain fucked.

"Misha, lets get moving, I don't like this."

We go in a circle that takes us back near the men's dorms, still seeing nobody else. No teachers, no other faculty members, and weirdest of all....no students.

Misha was starting to look...un-Misha, scared and sullen, and in the deep silence around us, I could tell her breathing was off.

"Misha?" I called softly, making her turn around.

"Y-yeah, Hicchan?"

Her face looked flushed.

"Are you feeling okay?"

She grimaced a bit.

"No, I'm starting to feel sick."

Damn, I don't know whether or not to ask what's wrong, since it could be...what's wrong with her, and I don't want to bug her about it, she was kind enough not to do the same to me.

"Hey, we've done a lot of walking, why don't we rest a bit? We're not that far from my room."

Double damn, I didn't want to sound like I was trying to pick up on her.

"Okay, Hicchan, that sounds good." She wipes her forehead.

All this walking wasn't good on me either, but running with Emi had strengthened my legs, and probably even my heart, a bit, so I wasn't about to crash onto the floor just yet.

After a short walk we make it back to my room, I open the door, walk in and turn on the light, then let her pass before me.

"Can I rest on your bed, Hicchan?" Misha wearily looks at me, looking pretty down.

"Of course, here, I'll get you some water." I reach into the small plastic box that I'd made into a refrigerator and pull out a cold waterbottle, handing it to her.

"Thanks!" She took a few drinks, set it on the table next to her and plopped herself onto the bed.

"Misha, do you need any medication or something...for what you're feeling?"

"I'll be fine Hiccan, thanks though. I just need some rest for a bit."

Whew, it was a relief, I really thought something might be wrong. Misha's usually bouncing off the walls, I've never seen her like this. I hope I never do again.

"You can sit down too Hicchan, I'm not gonna bite you" Misha faintly smiles at me. She's right, I should rest a bit. I sit on the bed, close to Misha. It's weird, my room feels oddly....comfortable. Maybe it's because I'm so familiar with the surroundings, and nothing seems to have changed here, but I'm starting to feel better. There isn't that weird, oppressive feeling that's been all over the rest of the school. Hah, maybe Kenji's prayer worked after all. The thought makes me laugh out loud.

"What's so funny, Hicchan?"

"Ah, nothing, Misha. Get some rest, and feel better." I pat her hand and get off the bed. I look back at her...she looks like she's about to fall asleep.

"Misha, stay here and sleep. I'm gonna look for Shizune, okay?"

Misha nods slowly, looking like she's barely awake. She yawns.

"Promise me you'll find her, Hicchan."

"I promise, and we'll both be back here in no time. She'll know what's going on, you know Shizune." I say with a smile.

Misha smiles back, then her eyes close.

I pick up the light comforter and drape it over her. She's lightly snoring. I get the feeling she'll be okay here. What I need to worry about is if there's anyone else here, and if I can find my friends. I look at the door, and after sighing for a moment, open it and step through. I take a minute to think, retracing my steps. Hmmm, the dorms, the lobby, but we never got a chance to try the student council room. Shizune could be there. Only one way to find out.

"There was a door here... Its gone now."

Oh no. OH NO NO NO.

/suddenly dies of fright from Silent Hill flashbacks/

/is shot/

And so Misha and Hisao are left alone in an empty school.

At least... Hisao and what we think is Misha for the moment.

The door disappears, the kids are gone, and it seems that shadows shaped like people are flitting around the rooms, confusing everyone. Even the ceiling lights are flickering, which would be completely normal usually but now its just creepy. REALLY creepy.

Misha seems like an odd choice for a partner character in this situation. It probably to brighten up the mood, but I'd like to see how Rin would react to this situation.

Oh, and the FOG.

I can't help but think of the foggy realm of the TV from Persona 4...

Hm...

Lovely story from what I've read so far. Can't wait to read the next installment.

Tom Noble wrote:"There was a door here... Its gone now."
Oh no. OH NO NO NO.
/suddenly dies of fright from Silent Hill flashbacks/
/is shot/
And so Misha and Hisao are left alone in an empty school.
At least... Hisao and what we think is Misha for the moment.
The door disappears, the kids are gone, and it seems that shadows shaped like people are flitting around the rooms, confusing everyone. Even the ceiling lights are flickering, which would be completely normal usually but now its just creepy. REALLY creepy.
Misha seems like an odd choice for a partner character in this situation. It probably to brighten up the mood, but I'd like to see how Rin would react to this situation.
Oh, and the FOG.
I can't help but think of the foggy realm of the TV from Persona 4...
Hm...
Lovely story from what I've read so far. Can't wait to read the next installment.

Thank you very much! I'm glad someone got the references! I don't think I can write today, but I will in the near future. Don't worry, I've got plans for this, and I hope not to let you down!

Hm. The writing is fine from a technical aspect, and their current situation is certainly surreal, but creepy I'm not sensing. So far the feeling is more "Oh, there's no door anymore. That's interesting," rather than "Oh shit, there's no door anymore. That can't in any way be good." I guess it's just starting off a bit slow, or the fact that I'm missing that Silent Hill reference keeps me from being creeped out, but I think it's that Misha is showing her fear more than Hisao, who seems more worried about her than about this...incident. When the story is told from the perspective of someone who doesn't seem particularly scared, it's hard for the reader to feel frightened.

Now, if you are just going for "surreal", then you've done a fine job so far; I'm just making this observation based on the previous two posts in this thread.

EternalLurker wrote:Hm. The writing is fine from a technical aspect, and their current situation is certainly surreal, but creepy I'm not sensing. So far the feeling is more "Oh, there's no door anymore. That's interesting," rather than "Oh shit, there's no door anymore. That can't in any way be good." I guess it's just starting off a bit slow, or the fact that I'm missing that Silent Hill reference keeps me from being creeped out, but I think it's that Misha is showing her fear more than Hisao, who seems more worried about her than about this...incident. When the story is told from the perspective of someone who doesn't seem particularly scared, it's hard for the reader to feel frightened.

Now, if you are just going for "surreal", then you've done a fine job so far; I'm just making this observation based on the previous two posts in this thread.

Thanks for the input! I've imagined Hisao would deal with this more like Henry Townshend like Silent Hill 4. I know, if you haven't played it it doesn't mean much, but I imagine he'd react in a more puzzled and confused way, rather than "Oh Jeesus run! Aargh!"

Indeed, and I never said there was anything wrong with Hisao's reaction. I just pointed out that if the narrator isn't frightened the reader isn't gonna be, so it depends on what feelings you want to evoke in the reader.

For now Hisao hasn't actually seen anything absolutely terrifying. Later on in the story, it might be completely different.

EternalLurker wrote:Indeed, and I never said there was anything wrong with Hisao's reaction. I just pointed out that if the narrator isn't frightened the reader isn't gonna be, so it depends on what feelings you want to evoke in the reader.

I gotcha, and I really appreciate the advice, I'm noobular when it comes to this kinda thing, so every bit helps!

Tom Noble wrote:For now Hisao hasn't actually seen anything absolutely terrifying. Later on in the story, it might be completely different.

We shall see!

EternalLurker wrote:Indeed, and I never said there was anything wrong with Hisao's reaction. I just pointed out that if the narrator isn't frightened the reader isn't gonna be, so it depends on what feelings you want to evoke in the reader.

The hero rarely flips shit over the first thing that happens. Really, besides what can be chalked off as basic paranoia, the only thing out of the blue that has happened is no people and a door disappearing. I would be wary, but I wouldn't be at "freak the fuck out-ing" quite yet.

Tom Noble wrote: Oh, and the FOG.

I can't help but think of the foggy realm of the TV from Persona 4...

Dammit! Now i've got Pursuing my true self playing in my head