Prologue
Tired of tracing my eyes across the ceiling for the fifth time, I look towards the door. He's been at it for about an hour, I've gotta say something. There's been a quiet chanting and shuffling at my door, and only one person here is crazy enough, or dedicated enough to do it. I may as well bite the bullet. Sigh.
I put my shoes and drag myself to the door, trying to convince myself to do it and just skip to the end of whatever crap Kenji's going to force onto me. Eh, with it being the weekend, and me not wanting to sleep late, I should remember to keep calm. I'll wait till later to snap at him, I'm sure he'll drive me towards it eventually.
I knock on the door, to get him to back away before I open the door, not wanting to hit him upon opening it. I open the door a crack, and call his name softly.
"You're alive! Whew, I thought I'd fucked up and accidentally killed you."
Sigh. I can tell this is gonna be a good one. I open the door the rest of the way. He smiles up at me like he's achieved some great victory and gets onto his feet.
"Uhhh, what are you talking about?"
Kenji grabs my wrist and pulls me into his room, closing the door and pressing his ear against it for a few seconds, before pulling away.
I look around his room, it's oddly baren. There are a few papers scattered around, but that's about it. I figure out why when I see a giant suitcase in the back of the room. I snap back to his face as he begins to speak.
"I've been trying to bless your room all morning. I got to the end of the chant alright, and I didn't accidentally curse you or anything, as you're still alive and well, so I think it was pretty successful for my first time blessing someone else's room!"
He's absolutely beaming.
"...Why the, uhh, blessing?"
He lets out a sigh as his face goes from delighted to gravely serious.
"Demons. And monsters. Well, "monsters" are usually just undiscovered creatures, but some of them do have super powers, like invisibility. Most people think those are demons. See, demons are-"
"Wait, what's with the suitcase?"
"Ah, you noticed. I am sorry, Hisao, but I have to be leaving. I blessed my room, so the demons and monsters aren't waiting for me when I return, and I gave your room the same as a parting gift. Though I plan to return. If this place is still standing. And it's not a demonic hellhole. Or a breeding ground for monsters."
Sigh, it seems the feminist conspiracy wasn't enough for him. It wasn't bad enough that to him, the feminists were a shady bunch of supervillains, but now he's had to add a fear of demons to keep himself occupied. Ah well, it's mildly amusing. Although a little worrisome. May as well play along, until he fills the sprinklers with holy water.
"So where are you going? Where will you be safe?"
"I can't tell you. Remember the invisibility monsters? There's also astral projection you gotta worry about, and pissed off spirits. Those assholes could be listening in right now. I can't even think of where I'm going, as there could be invisible demons, monsters, or astrally projected spirits that have mind-reading capabilities. Those are the fuckers you have to watch out for. Right now I have to use mental euphamisms and metaphors when I think of my plans, I can't just think of them straight away. I hope they don't crack the codes soon though, cause it's too difficult to make a contingency plan with this format."
"Huhh."
I put my fingers into my forehead, trying to massage away the strain I was getting as I realized I was going to have to hear about demons for the next few months, before he moved onto the next thing. I also tried to rub away the desire to laugh, as I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Ah well, gotta keep playing ball.
"Are you sure the demons are really after you?"
"Yes! I've had these recurring dreams for the past week, I can see their faces now...Well, I didn't really see their faces, it was kinda blurry, but I could tell they were scary-looking. They kept on calling my name, and they said they were coming for me. They mentioned your name too, so we've both gotta watch our asses, and prepare for the worst. Before the demonic uprising."
I released the tightening grip on my forehead and slumped into a chair by the door.
"I am sorry, Hisao, that you can't come with me. We're too like minded, and with us traveling together, in close proximity, our mental signals would be too strong, we'd be detected easily. I've gotta go it alone, though I have faith in you. I know you'll be safe here, you're my second in command after all. You'll be fine, my friend. Yeah, you'll be fine."
He puts his hand on my shoulder and nods solemnly.
Sure he was weird, and annoyed the fuck out of me at times, but whenever he thanked me or reacted to me playing along, I never got a hint of exaggeration. I think he really considered me his best friend in the world, and looked at me as his brother in arms. After the initial shock or repulsion at whatever new scenario he comes up with, it is sorta fun playing along with him. It reminded me of when I'd play pretend with other kids when I was younger. Except only I was the one pretending in this situation.
"Here, I grabbed you something at the store earlier. Don't think I forgot about you, I don't want you being here unarmed."
Kenji produces a small spray bottle.
"It's got a special herb mixed in with blessed water, it'll burn any horned fucker that tries to mess with you. The guy at the counter said he'd give me a discount on it, after I told him I gravely needed assistance in warding off the supernatural."
He places the bottle in my hands, and I nearly choke up as I realize what it really is.
A simple can of hairspray.
I silently sigh, I don't have the heart to tell him.
"Thanks Kenji, I really appreciate it."
He grabs the suitcase and grunts as he pushes it through the door. He turns back, scanning the room for any objects he missed. He looks back up at me.
"Expect a postcard from Puerto Rico same time next month."
"You're going to Puerto Rico?!"
"Fuck no, the chupacabra lives over there."
With that, he turns and walks down the hall.
"Watch out for those bitches! Don't let the demons distract you from their trifling ways!"
I sincerely hope nobody heard him. I sigh and watch him leave.
I wonder if parents go through this when their kid informs them that they are running away. I guess it's just a matter of time before he's back here, whenever he gets bored of this.
I hope.
"Well, that's it for that."
As I pull Kenji's door closed, I see a small object under his bed. Upon closer inspection, I see that it's a lighter.
"Kenji! You forgot your lighter!"
No response, he's probably bolted out of this place by now. Eh, it's probably better he doesn't have it, I don't want him to hurt himself thinking it's a pez dispenser.
I shake my head, that thought was in bad taste.
I close the door and prepare to start my weekend.
I did a story a few weeks ago, Pearly Whites, check it out, if you dare 
Thanks for the input! I've imagined Hisao would deal with this more like Henry Townshend like Silent Hill 4. I know, if you haven't played it it doesn't mean much, but I imagine he'd react in a more puzzled and confused way, rather than "Oh Jeesus run! Aargh!"
I gotcha, and I really appreciate the advice, I'm noobular when it comes to this kinda thing, so every bit helps!
