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It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:19 pm
by ZystraL
For the record, I 'd say I'm an okay writer, but not too good at delving into the minds of other people's characters. This is a different sort of fan fic I wanted to try. Also, everything you are about to read was been improvised on the spot, so please don't judge me differently or be too harsh in your criticism. It's how I always write.
(note also, I'm male and I'm writing from the eyes of a female, so bear with me). Yes, it is written in the form of the game itself, narrative line-by-line.

***

I glance at my watch and notice the numbers say 11:21.01.
Still morning but it already feels like the end of the day. I guess that might just be Muto's droning lectures making time move slowly.

My name is Yuki Tainaka (Tainaka Yuki, whatever). I attend a boarding school for children with disabilities.
From the outside, I look perfectly normal, so what's wrong with me? Primary Lateral Sclerosis.
I was 8 at the time and was learning to play the drums, because my older brother was studying the guitar and I wanted to play with him. The doctors say they not sure whether it's related, but they think my excessive playing and over energetic-ness may have caused my muscles to come under too much pressure and tension whilst they were still developing.

Anyway, back to today. It's a boring Friday, and Mikado, the girl directly in front of me is laughing her head off as usual. She's even more distracting that the boy that sits to my left. Albeit, all her ever does is snore.
Muto: "And now, for something different today. I'll be the one splitting you into groups. This makes the chance for you to make new friends. Ibukuro, you will be working with Inoue..."
And somehow, the boy next to me, wakes up and stumbles over to the other side of the class, taking his chair with him. The list of names come and go, with Mikado and Incho-san moving away from their friend, the new boy.
Muto: "And finally, Tainaka and Nakai."
Wait, Nakai? That's the new boy, isn't it. This isn't good, he's been here 2 weeks and we sit so close and I still can't remember his name. I guess it's because we've never talked. But sure enough, he edges closer and flips his chair around.
Hisao: "Hi, I'm Hisao Nakai. I don't think we've actually met, despite sitting so close to one another."
The fact that he says it with such a warm smile isn't what bugs me. It's how he said exactly what I was about to. Before I know it, a small blush creeps up.
Yuki: "I'm...Yuki Tainaka. Pleased to meet you."
He's just a boy, what is there to be afraid of?
Hisao: "So, I guess we better get on."
I explode in crimson, only to be replied with a small chuckle.
Hisao: "I meant with the work."
Yuki: "Y-y-yeah! T-that's what I meant!"
He probably saw through that. Unless he likes my kind of girl I doubt that was a good first impression. Wait, why do I care? It's not like we're friends, right? Either way, we silently work through the large bundle of work without making eye contact. Only stealing glimpses of each other when the other one is working. Of course, I only get so far until I'm stuck. I never did well academically, but it doesn't really matter.
Yuki: "N-n-nakai?"
Hisao: "Hisao, please."
Yuki: "H-h-h-hisao..."
Dammit, why am I so nervous?
Yuki: "I d-don't really get this question..."
Hisao: "Well..."
He leans closer and I go redder.
Hisao: "It asks you to balance out the chemical equation of Sodium and Iron Nitrate. You just need to move the Nitrogen over. It's just a displacement reaction is all."
Yuki: "Ah, I see. T-thanks, I guess."

And the downable silence continues, except for the scritch-scratch of our pencils. We keep stealing glances at each other more often, except we're also making eye contact quite a lot. And everytime we do, he just smiles at me and all I do is look away, red as a cherry. Not long passes until I need yet more help, which yet again, he responds too nicely. I'm not falling for him, am I? Plus, he probably likes Incho-san way more than a plain-Jane like me. We finish just as the bell rings, and he's in a hurry to leave with Mikado and Incho. I sit for a while longer, reorganizing my stuff before heading off for the music room.

It's a short walk away from the main building. Walking across the courtyard always puts me at ease, I guess it's just the serentiy of this place.
I reach the music room in a few minutes, taking care not to over-exert myself should a spasm decide to hit me. I stop for a moment to recollect on this morning. Breathe in deeply, breathe out. I burst into the room with a smile on my face and a loud greeting.
Yuki: "Hey guys!"
Sitting in the room already are my close friends and band-mates, Aoi, a shy girl who plays the guitar; Takana, a friend of mine since I first started here who plays the keyboard and Aihako, the bass player. She's a real air-head though. I seat myself at the kit, do some adjusting and pull out my lunch. Everyone else sets up and starts to eat too. It's a routine we have so that once we eat we're ready to play. After 10 minutes and some soda, I clap out a beat to one of our regular songs and we all start to rehearse. Halfway through one of the songs I wrote a while ago, though, Aihako sings a lyric that troubles me.

[[# indicates singing, / indicates a new line in the song.]]
Aihako: "#I never really knew / why I felt this way / but everytime I see you / you're with somebody else"
and before I know it, Nakai pops into my head, my face goes red, and I suddenly stop.
Aoi: "Yuki? Are you okay?"
Yuki: "Yeah! Yeah, of course! I just...forgot part of it is all."
I let out a fake giggle to emphasize. Hopefully the blush is gone by now.
Aihako: "But how? You wrote the thing. Or wait. Don't tell us! Maybe it's finally true and you're lusting after someone else's boyfriend?!"
I really do go red after that.
Yuki: "What're you saying, you idiot!"

***

After school and practice, I head on over the cafeteria to eat dinner. Nothing special. Just grab my food and sit. But oh no. I see Nakai holding his food, looking around for somewhere to sit. Unfortunately, he sees me and starts to walk over. I quickly pull our my hair ring in an effort to cover my face but it's too late.

Hisao: "Hey, Tainaka, what coincidence to see you here."
Yuki: "Y-yeah..."
So much for eating quietly and going home.
Hisao: "So I was walking around during lunch and I heard you and your friends play your songs. You guys are really good."
Yuki: "Wait, you heard us? And how did you know it was us?"
Hisao: "Because I looked through the windows and saw you playing the drums with a big smile on your face. You seem to enjoy it."
Yuki: "Yeah. I've been playing for ages and I made a promise to never stop until I was the best..."
Ack! Why am I opening up to him? When did I relax my guard?
Hisao: "That's nice. I wish a had a dream or some sort of goal like that."
He lets out a sigh. I'm starting to feel sorry for him, but it's hard to say anything with a fork and some meatloaf in my mouth.
Hisao: "But I guess it's things like that which makes life worth living. We're just occupying space otherwise and life's just-"
Next thing I know, my hand is in the air and he's got a bright red mark on his face. Tears are probably rolling down my cheeks and people are looking at us but I don't care.
Yuki: "Don't you dare say that! All life is a precious gift, we all have a reason to live! Why would you think something like that?"

I'm not hungry anymore. I run away from the cafeteria, crying. I thought he was a nice guy. I thought I even liked him. But why would he be that kind of person? What could be wrong with him? Ugh. I don't care anymore. I fall asleep the moment I come into contact with the bed.

[dun dun dun, dun dun dun / dun dun dun, dun dun dun. Clock-rotating heart thing signifiying new day]

Sigh. I was up feeling too groggy to be healthy. Shit, I even fell asleep in my uniform, and now it's all creased. What time is it? 8:12. Saturday morning classes are about to start, I guess I should change and have a small wash before I head out. The event last night is still fuzzing in my head. I should apologize to him today.

I get to the classroom a little early and there's nobody there except for Nakai and Burn-Girl. And they seem to be...talking? And smiling? I never knew he was her friend. I never knew she had friends. Fortunately, Nakai returns to his seat and pulls out a book before I enter, upon which Burn-Girl slinks almost under her desk and Nakai just greets me casually as if nothing had happened as I take my seat behind him.

Hisao: "Morning, Tainaka."
Yuki: "Morning. Call me Yuki, I guess."
Hisao: "Alright. Look, Yuki, I wanted to apolgize. For last night."
God fucking dammit. Stop stealing my lines.
Hisao: "I had an argument with Shizune and Misha so I was in a foul mood and I sort of spilled that on you when I shouldn't have. This won't jepoardize our friendship, right?"
Yuki: "Heh. I feel as though I should be apologizing to you. But yeah, I guess we were both wrong."
Hisao smiles and returns to his book. Wait, did I just call him Hisao? Looks like we really are becoming friends.

Eventually, Muto walks in all drowsy like and hands everyone a photocopy and sits down at his desk with nothing except "Write answers on sheet." Oh well, no drama is good I guess. Interestingly, Incho and Mikado are absent. Hisao did say he had an argument with them though. So it's only ovious they'd rather go to Student Council work than come deal with him.

I get up almost as the bell rings, but Hisao has other plans.
Hisao: "Say, Yuki, you're about to go to band practice, right? Can I come watch?"
It doesn't seem like he has an ulterior motive, and I guess we could do with some critique.
Yuki: "Sure, why not."

It's a slightly slower walk than if it was by myself. For some reason, Hisao walks quite slowly and stops every so often. Maybe he's just really unfit is why he's here? Before long though we reach the music room, and of course, everyone else is there already.

Takana: "Ooh, who's this handsome guy you've dragged? That new boyfriend Aihako was talking about?"
Yuki: "Shut it. Hisao's just a classmate who wanted to hear us play, alright? So lets just run through our standard set list."
I start tapping out the basic beat to our staple song once I'm set up. Hisao just sits on a chair to the side and watches us like a television.

By the time we've gone through our 3rd song, Curry After Rice, I take a short break and reach for a drink. He takes this opportunity to compliment.
Hisao: "You guys are actually really good. Your songs are well written and you play together and enjoy a lot. It's enjoyable to watch."
Again, that annoying smile you can't help but love.
Aoi: "T-t-thanks. We've only been playing for about 3 months, and we've only got four songs."
Hisao: "Well I hope you've saved the best until last."
Yuki: "We'll see."
Although he's right. By far our best song is last, but it's very difficult and we even make mistakes ourselves.
Yuki: "Alright, Aoi, go get the extra mics."
Hisao: "Extra mics?"
Yuki: "Yeah, all four of us sing in this one."
Aoi returns extremely briskly holding 2 more mics. She silently connects them and places one on a stand which is angled to recieve my voice but not the drums.
Yuki: "One, two, one two three four!"
We break out into the song almost effortlessly, everything is going well so far. Until we get to the second verse where I'm supposed to sing. Just before it starts, Aoi whispers at me.
Aoi: "(I've forgotten the lyrics!)"
I continue playing looking horror-struck.
Aoi: "(Can you fill in?)"
It's too late to reply.
Yuki: "#Ima, tomi to ka / Meiyo ranaba / Iranai kedo~ / Tsubasa ga hoshii~"
Aoi is looking at me, panic ridden.
Yuki: "#Kodomo no toki / Yumemita koto / Ima mo onaji~ / Yume ni mite iru~"
The panicked frown turns into a smile.
All: "#Kono oozora ni, tsubasa wo hiroge / Tonde yukitai yo~ / Kanashimi no nai, jiyuu na sora e / Tsubasa hatamekase...Yukitai!"
Aoi does her solo before we all repeat the chorus and end, after which, a very loud one-man ovation comes from the side of the room.
Hisao: "That was utterly brilliant. I regret not seeing you play during the festival."
Yuki: "Well thanks even though we only wrote that one song a few days ago, so we didn't perform it."
As the others pack up, Aihako decides to take another jab at me.
Aihako: "Yuki, you and your boyfriend clear up today, alright?"
And she's gone before I can scream at her. I turn to Hisao with daggers in my eyes.
Yuki: "For the record-"
Hisao: "We're not dating, I know, I know."
Yuki: "Good."

We tidy up effortlessly and silently.
Hisao: "Although..."
Yuki: "Although what?"
Hisao: "Mind if I walk you back to your dorm?"
My face bursts back into scarlet.

I've got two options but I dunno what do to. I don't want him to get any wrong ideas.
-> You might as well.
-> No, I'm alright, thanks.

---

This came out significantly larger than I had planned, but that's okay I guess. I know I can't compare to any of the other fics here, and mine is a little dialogue heavy, but hey, I wanted to put this down in writing for a while now, so I might as well.
I'm now thinking of doing a Hisao POV on this, if there's any demand/support for this. Thanks for reading and putting up with this much shit anyway.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:48 pm
by Malek
I like it. Nice to see a new face(sorta). I vote for number 1

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:54 pm
by G3n0c1de
ZystraL wrote:...Tainaka... play the drums...
Does someone like K-On!?
ZystraL wrote:Curry After Rice
Someone definitely likes K-On!

Also, what does 'incho' mean?

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:42 pm
by UnKreativ
G3n0c1de wrote:
ZystraL wrote:...Tainaka... play the drums...
Does someone like K-On!?
ZystraL wrote:Curry After Rice
Someone definitely like K-On!
That was the first thing I noticed... but it seems I wasn't the first to notice it... and you, Sir, are wrong: Everybody loves Keion!
I just read through the first lines. I'll read it properly tomorow though...

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:20 pm
by Deimos
I'd go with option number 2. A girl has got to make herself rare. :wink:

Oh, and song translations would be nice.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:53 pm
by bitpeg
UnKreativ wrote:Everybody loves Keion!
Not me.

But one thing. Do they even eat meatloaf in Japan? I thought they were all about health and shit.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:41 pm
by Vertical
G3n0c1de wrote:Also, what does 'incho' mean?
Class Rep

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 3:18 am
by ZystraL
Song translations for the 2 lines of the song I posted?
"I have no need / for wealth or fame / all I need is / a pair of wings
I still long / for those wings / that I used to dream about / when I was small"


Regarding food - meatloaf, Meat Loaf. Perhaps that was too subtle?

Thanks for the positive reviews, and because so far there's only one choice made, I'll continue writing that story. Expect it maybe tonight or tomorrow.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:06 am
by bitpeg
Oh, so you meant like the musician? Well, they're eating food in a cafeteria that has no predetermined menu, and the possibility of people eating meat cake in Japan isn't entirely impossible. You should have expected someone to not get it.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:46 pm
by ZystraL
^ Alright, fair do's.
In honesty, I finished this early in the morning, but I wanted to fix it a bit. Anyway, it's a bit longer, and probably less well written seeing as I spent most of my ideas in the first part. This was also a lot harder to write seeing as I had to follow a structure I placed before when I'm used to writing freely. Also I had to delve a bit more into the mind of a girl which I found harder than it sounds.
Plus, the choice that people (or person rather) made wasn't what I was planning to write on, so that added to my problems.

***

-> No, I'm alright, thanks

Yuki: "I'll be fine. Plus I don't want the others getting ideas, if you get what I mean."
Hisao: "Alright, good night then, see you on Monday."
And so we parted, and I walked back to the dorms in complete contrast to last night, rather smiling, sort of glad things had been patched up.

[dun dun dun...clockheart]

Sigh. For fuck's sake. If I keep falling asleep in my uniform, it'll turn into a habit. I get up and the sun is shining right into my face. Wait, into my face? What? Usually when I wake up, the sunlight points westwards. Of course, one glance at the clock tells me why. 14:22. Oh well. I get changed and decide to go get a late brunch. Or whatever you call this meal.

Uneventual cafeteria, almost empty. No surprise though, given this time. I chow down on today's unhealthy food - BonJolly - some sort of egg yolk, sugar and honey mixed and poured over noodles. Sounds horrid but it tasted amazing. I put my plate back, greet the Nurse as he walks in for a snack and eventually head back to my room.

Once I get over the fact that it's afternoon, I turn on my computer and set about doing any homework I've missed. It doesn't take long, only about 20 minutes. I see I still have a whole afternoon to kill so I put on a baggy t-shirt and a decently long skirt and walk outside for some songwriting.

I love my special place. It's in the park behind the school building, at the very back. At the farthest back, there's the school area walls, then a few trees, a small patch of grass then a path with a small bench where I usually sit. [[For the record, this is where Hisao was with Lilly during the festival night]]

Our recorded instrumental plays itself about 3 times before I can find a suitable vocal melody and lyrics. My pen starts to hastily scribble itself.
"Fude Pen (fufu) / Furueru (fufu) / Hajimete kimi e no Greeting Card".
I chuckle to myself on the meaning of these lyrics as Aoi's guitar riff plays again. I'm on a roll now, and the words keep coming.
"Ai wo, komete, surasura to ne, saa kakidasou / Uketotta kimi ni, shiawase ga tsunagaru you ni! / Yume wo, mitese, guruguru to ne, ji ga maiodoru / Ganbare fudepen koko made kitakara~ / Kanari honki yo~"
Strange, isn't it? The lyrics are saying how the pen is trembling as the love hits the paper yet I'm writing like it'll cure cancer. Of course, I'm too into my writing to notice someone approach.

Hisao: "Yuki, how nice to see you here."
I snap back to reality.
Yuki: "Hisao? What are you doing here?"
Hisao: "Well, I was taking a stroll when I saw you writing as if you had found the cure for cancer."
If you that one more time...
Hisao: "And I was wondering, if you weren't busy or if you wanted to, we could go into town or something. I've been needing to go buy food for a while now."
I don't see the harm. After all, the stash of food I hide in my room's drum kit is running low.
Yuki: "Eh. Sure."
I stick my notepad and pencil back into my satchel bag and start following him.

It's not long before we reach the gates, and only a while longer as we reach the town's konbini. We split up with out own baskets, mine which I fill with stuff like bread, chocolate, soft drinks and a magazine. We reach the checkout at the same time, and I see all he has is a box of tissues, some bottled water, a packet of chewing gum and some sort of video game. All I can see from here is that is says "To Heart" on it. No idea what that is. We pay for our stuff and walk out of the door, my bag a lot fuller than his. We start walking back as I freeze in front of a music shop.

Hisao: "Problem, Yuki?"
I hear him but I don't respond. I'm still staring at that beautiful drum kit in the window. It's a Yamaha Hipgig in Yellow and this shop is offering a free set of Zildjian ZXT Cymbals. I run in without thinking.
Yuki: "Sir, how much for that drum kit in your window?"
Shopkeeper: "Well right now it's on sale for about 120,000 Yen."
I whip out my cellphone and call my parents.
Yuki: "Dad, please, I need to ask for a large favour. Well you that drum kit you guys got me a few years back which I brought with me? Yeah, it's starting to fall apart and break. Plus, you guys missed my birthday a few days ago, and there's this really nice new kit in the shop and it's a great deal and it's that one I wanted for ages and-. Right... Yeah? Okay."
I put my hand to the reciever.
Yuki: "Sir, is there any chance you could lower it a bit?"
I put on my strongest puppy-dog eyes. It seems to work.
Shopkeeper: "Well, I guess I could give it to you for about 110,000..."
Yuki: "The guy says 110,000. Plus he's giving away a free set of cymbals!"
Dad: "Sorry dear, your mother and I can only afford to spend 90,000 for you right now..."
Yuki: "90,000? But what about the rest?"
Shopkeeper: "Listen, girl, if you want, I'll let you trade in your old kit for another 15,000?"
Yuki: "But that's still 5,000 short."
I'm almost starting to cry now. I've wished for a kit like this for about 5 years. I played a similar set once and it was amazing.
Hisao: "Yuki, I guess if you really want it, and seeing as we're friends and even I missed your birthday, I'll pay the last 5,000 and-"
I cling onto his waist tighter than a head-crab from Alien Vs. Predator.
Yuki: "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!"
And before I know it I've kissed him on the cheek. Once I calm down about 20 minutes later, Hisao and I pay the deposit and the shopkeeper says a guy will be coming to my dorms to collect my old kit and deliver this on Tuesday.

We're halfway up the path to Yamaku and my smile still stretches from ear to ear.
Yuki: "Hisao. Really, thanks again."
Hisao: "Don't mention it. We're friends, right?"
My smile broadens even more in the moonlight.
Yuki: "Yeah."

We bid our farewells at the junction between the boys dorms and the girls dorms, with the teachers on patrol looking at the pair of us suspiciously. I wash myself before climbing into my bed, fortunately, not forgetting to change, with a smile still on my face. This is the second night in a row I've gone to bed smiling. It feels good. And I mean gangstar gooood.

[clockheart]

I wake up a minute before my alarm clock, just in time to clear all my food and stuff out of my old kit in preparation for my shiny new one. "That Hisao bought me." I smile a little more. I guess maybe falling in love with him isn't bad? I don't know. Either way, I still wash, get changed and today I reach the class a little early, except Hisao's there with Mikado and Incho. He glances at me with a smile to acknowledge my presence as I walk in, to which I repsond with my own smile when his vultures aren't looking. Later on, Muto walks in and begins rambling on before setting us more work.

The day continues as normal, lunch, lessons, practice. Although I've seen him, Hisao is getting dragged everywhere by Incho and her hysteric gargoyle. How sad. However, as with all my Mondays, I go visit Rin in the art room, and of course, she's there like always.
Rin: "Hello."
Yuki: "Hey, Rin."
I grab a seat without any words and begin continuing my claywork project. It's a scale model of the band playing in one of the biggest concerts in the world. It's going well until I realize I sculpted Aoi's boobs too large. Oh well, I'll leave it there for a joke until she sees it.

By the time I finish the basic shape of all the members and our instruments, it's gone dark outside already.
Rin: "Before you leave."
Yuki: "Yes?"
Rin: "Can I get a favour please?"
Yuki: "Sure, I guess."
Rin: "My crotch itches and I can't reach it. Would you scratch it for me?"
Why am I blushing? Although, even this is Rin, one of my best friends, that's just an unreasonable request. Even between girls.
Rin: "I'll keep my pants on if that'll make you feel better."
Yuki: "Er..."
Rin: "Come on, you said you'd do it."
This is NOT a good situation, and the fact that I'm going redder by the second isn't helping.
Yuki: "C-couldn't you just use a p-paintbrush or something and do it yourself?"
Rin: "If I could do it myself why would I ask you?"
Her philosophicalism has got me in a corner.
Yuki: "Look, I'm sorry, I can't do this for you."
Rin: "Oh? How sad. My experiment failed."
Red of embarassment goes to red of anger.
Yuki: "Experiment?! WHAT?!"
And yet she keeps calm as always.
Rin: "You see, I had read in a book that 39% of girls our age had already experimented with lesbianism. So I wanted to try it."
I remain silent for certain reasons.
Rin: "But if you can't do it I guess I'll just ask Emi."
I turn around to put my things away, now unable to even look at her. She's almost as fucked up as Hisao on a bad day. On her good days.
Rin: "Oh, hello."
???: "Hey, Rin, I didn't know you'd still be here."
Oh no. Any voice but that.
???: "Hey Yuki, what are you doing here?"
I turn around slowly, a nervous grin on my face.
Yuki: "H-hisao, what a pleasant suprise."
Rin: "She's doing a secret project for her own benefits. She's doing well too. Better than that semi-blind boy who rants about women, anyway."
Hisao: "I see. Well, I was only here to collect some blank paper, if that's okay."
Rin: "On the shelf to your right. Anyway, I'll be going now."
And with that, she waltzes past Hisao like he wasn't even there. Well, I've calmed down since Rin blew that question.
Yuki: "I guess I'll be heading off now."
However, as I open the door, I walk straight into another person. Somehow, I fall over and they don't.

Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Miss Tainaka~! What are you doing out this late?"
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "I can understand if you were doing extra work, but sleep is important too! Wahahaha~!"
Hisao: "As a matter of fact, Misha, she was. She said she was working on a personal project."
Misha: "Well, Hicchan, since you're backing her up, I guess we can let it slide!"
Hisao: "Well you should. Also, how can you critizise her for being out late when you're here yourself?"
Incho pulls off a victorious pose.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Simple, Hicchan! Shicchan and I saw you walking towards the art room, so we decided to stalk you!"
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Oops, I mean investigate!"
Yuki: "So can we please leave now?"
I pick myself up and dust nothing off me, but just for something to do.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Okay, but we need Hicchan for something!"
Hisao: "I thought we were supposed to be back in our dorms?"
Shizune: ".."
Misha: "Yes, but because you're out anyway, you can help us!"
Hisao: "With what?"
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Shicchan says you'll find out in a bit! Wahahaha~!"
I'm starting to go insane from that laughter. Either way, I try to squeeze past.
Yuki: "See you guys all tomorrow then, Incho, Mikado. Hisao."
Misha: "Hey hey! How comes you call him by his first name?"
I pretend to be too far away to hear, although people in France can probably hear her.

I escape to my room with little fuss and difficutly before taking a long shower to get all that clay off me. Oh well, at least my new kit comes to tomorrow. I wiggle in glee under my blankets and fall asleep with another smile.

[Clockheart]

---

No choice here, guys. Too many and it gets boring.
But of course, again, most of this was all improvised, but I hate how it's come out. Could stand with some tidying. I think perhaps too much involvement with the main girls, but it seemed quite fitting at the time. Oh and yes I plan on doing a whole story out of this.

and the last tidbitty note? if you want lyric translations, just check the site link in my previous post.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:20 pm
by Duo2Cuo
ZystraL wrote:Hisao: "Problem, Yuki?"
Trollface.png

It's a sad reflection on my life that this is what immediately came to mind.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:25 pm
by Deimos
ZystraL wrote: Plus, the choice that people (or person rather) made wasn't what I was planning to write on, so that added to my problems.
I think Malek, the first commentator on your original post, has also made a choice ...

Onto your second installment:

I cannot shake the feeling off me that it is very similar to The World God Only Knows.
There is also an arc where a "background character" is used and the very same character (in a parody of K-on) starts a band in some bonus chapters.
Even the fact that Hisao plays eroge seems like a mild homage to the manga ... well, now I know how he got his amazing cripple-charming powers. :wink:

Anyway, Hisao is too much of Gary Stue in this part. He screwed up in the first one but in this one he is too nice. Call me cheap but giving 50 dollars (1 dollar = 94 Yen last time I checked) to a newly acquired friend is over the top. Some other stuff looked too forced/convenient.
If I am responsible for compelling you to write something you are not comfortable with, then I apologise deeply!
ZystraL wrote: - BonJolly - Sounds horrid but it tasted amazing.
Hooray for more music references hidden in menues! :mrgreen:

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:32 pm
by ZystraL
Deimos wrote:
ZystraL wrote: Plus, the choice that people (or person rather) made wasn't what I was planning to write on, so that added to my problems.
I think Malek, the first commentator on your original post, has also made a choice ...
so he did. my mistake.
Onto your second installment:

I cannot shake the feeling off me that it is very similar to The World God Only Knows.
Is it coiincidence that happens to be my favourite manga of the current? I think not.
There is also an arc where a "background character" is used and the very same character (in a parody of K-on) starts a band in some bonus chapters.
Even the fact that Hisao plays eroge seems like a mild homage to the manga ... well, now I know how he got his amazing cripple-charming powers. :wink:
which is exactly what I had in mind. Not sure everyone got my over 9000 K-On! references but oh well.

Anyway, Hisao is too much of Gary Stue in this part. He screwed up in the first one but in this one he is too nice. Call me cheap but giving 50 dollars (1 dollar = 94 Yen last time I checked) to a newly acquired friend is over the top. Some other stuff looked too forced/convenient. If I am responsible for forcing you to write something you are not comfortable with, then I apologise deeply!
Hm. point noted. Although like I said. He pissed her off to the point she slaps him, and he does seem a bit of a pushover. And like I said, widly improvised, so shit like this happens.
ZystraL wrote: - BonJolly - Sounds horrid but it tasted amazing.
Hooray for more music references hidden in menues! :mrgreen:
A recurring joke. :wink:

thanks for the positive feedback though. Makes me feel good that if I can't improvise on a guitar I can do it with words. no that wasn't a k-on reference.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:24 am
by ZystraL
The fact that I'm updating so much is either a bad thing or a good thing. I can't tell at this point. But, hey, I was up around 4:53am GMT, and I got bored. This one was slightly less improvised as I had loads of spill over ideas, but I like this one the most.

***

It's a cold, snowy day in winter. I'm sitting on a bench all alone waiting for someone, holding a note in my hand. I hear some footsteps in an erratic rhythm. I turn to an expected face.
Yuki: "Hisao?"
Hisao: "I see you got my note."
I hold up the unnamed piece of paper.
Yuki: "You wrote this?"
Hisao: "Y-yeah."
I recieved a note under my door a day ago saying "I'd like to see you without a hair ring but you're pretty either way. Can we meet in that same spot tomorrow?"
Yuki: "S-so...Uhm...what is it?"
The first time a boy likes me and I can't even talk properly. I'm so useless.
Hisao: "W-well, over the f-few months we've k-known each other...I guess I j-just wanted to say, I feel a bit more for you than a f-friend, and I was wondering if...if...if you'd go out with me..."
I think to myself. What is Hisao to me? He's a really close friend. We can share feelings and thoughts. We can lean on each other. We're there for each other. I lie in my bed and think of him sometimes. He makes me smile and laugh. But I don't love him. It's sad, but I can't accept his feelings. I know this but a tear comes to my eye.
Yuki: "Hisao. You're my closest friend here. I value you infinitely. I wouldn't be here without you. But I'm sorry. I can't"
As more and more tears roll down my cheeks I hug him so he doesn't see how painful it really is for me. I like you too much as a friend to have had to say that to you. It's not fair! It's...wait. Apart from my sniffling breaths, I can't hear anything. He's not breathing, but he's just pushed himself away.
Yuki: "Hisao?"
He falls to his knees, clutching at his chest, struggling to breathe.
Yuki: "Hisao?!"
I run to hold him closer. I can feel his heartbeat through my gloves. Thump-thump, thump-thump......thump-thump, thump-thump......thump...thump............
Yuki: "Hisao!"
I'm now crying twice as hard as just now. His eyes close and he completely collapses.
Yuki: "HISAO!"
No, please. Don't you dare die on me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Yuki: "EEARRGH!"
Bang. Bolt upright in an instant. I put my hand to my heart, only to hear a constant barrage of sound. It's worse than the time I played my first concert. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths and brush my bangs out of the way before examining my surroundings. I'm in a room with a bed and and mild yellow wallpaper. There are a few wardrobes on the wall, a desk full of books and other shit, a window, and an old, battered drum kit. This is my room at Yamaku Academy. I was just in the worst dream ever. I climb out of bed feeling more plastered than Tudor cottage. God, what the hell WAS that? I don't even know what's actually wrong with Hisao. So what was with that dream? Ugh, I don't want to think about it.

I go through my morning routine as normal, arriving to school not too early. I try not to look at Hisao not because my earlier dream, but rather because I can hear Mikado wailing her head off whilst mentioning his name. The class goes on and ends like any other day, and so does everything else. Not even today's lunch, Grilled Bat Wings can cheer me up. Plus they're so overrated anyway. I just feel so tired and painful today. Of course, when school ends, one trip to the toilet tells me why.
Yuki: "Sigh. Today of all days."
As I grab a sanitary towel and put some casual clothes on, I hear a knock at my door.
Deliveryman: "Kotobuki Music. I have a delivery of a Yamaha Hipgig Pro drum kit in yellow and a set of Zildjian ZXT for a Miss Yuki Tainaka?"
Yuki: "Just a second."
I move my old kit out of the way so the man can collect it more easily. I open the door and I see my gleaming new kit sitting in the hallway. He holds out a form on a clipboard and hands me a pen.
Deliveryman: "Just sign here."
After a few minutes, my old gig has been placed on his large shopping trolly-like forklift thing and my new kit has been set up. Ah, retail therapy. The ultimate cure for any girl. I take care to close all the windows and doors before I start banging away on some of my favourite songs. From the way I am now one might think I've got Parkinsons rather than a form of Motor Neurone disease. Then I start thinking about Michael J. Fox jokes and start cracking up.

After about an hour of practice I decide to pack it in before my hallmate (who actually does have Parkinsons) starts complaining and get on with some schoolwork. I decide to head down to dinner to see what's up and I decide to go for Wild Minced Wolf. Sounds great, definitely a classic, but it's missing something. Might just be the chefs I think. Either way, I'm sitting there, playing with my food as always when Mr. Protagonist comes along.
Hisao: "Sigh. Hey Yuki. I trust your day has been better than mine?"
It doesn't feel right going off on him, especially after this morning, but he's the only person I've talked to all day.
Yuki: "It's that time of the month and I've been walking around all day with a brain full of Estradiol and Progestrone and it makes me feel a bad combination of stoned and drunk and it's pissing me off because lately I've been feeling really good since you're like my new best friend and I've been having awkward dreams and it's not going so well and I feel that something's wrong and I don't know what and it's causing me to go insane! Does that answer your question?"
Oh wow. I really have gone insane. Sadly by the time I realize I've more or less bitched out on him it's too late for anything but recoiling into a blush and an apology.
Hisao: "It's alright. I've had a pretty bad day myself. Shizune and Misha have been dragging me everywhere doing personal things for them because according to them I've been neglecting my duties and only caring about myself, so I'm quite knackered."
Yuki: "Yeah, at least you have a genuine excuse."
Hisao: "I don't know about that. I found myself enjoying today a bit more than I should have."
I was right. He likes Incho, not some plain girl like me.
Hisao: "That reminds me, your new kit arrived today, right?"
Snap, emotion change. That's right, he helped pay for it.
Yuki: "Yeah. It's really great. Thanks again, I love it!"
His nice-guy smile for once makes me smile along rather than despise him even more.
Hisao: "It's good to see you have something you can enjoy."
We sit there eating together, smiling for a while. Only a while, sadly.

Misha: "There you are, Hicchan~! Acting all friendy with your friend, I see! Wahahaha~!"
Yuki: "Hey Mikado, Incho."
Hisao: "Misha. Shizune. What brings you here?"
Of course, he spoke too early, and failed to look at the food trays in their hands.
Misha: "You mean we can't eat with your friend, Hicchan? That's mean! As an apology, you should let us eat with you! Wahahaha~!"
Laugher goes up, Period reactivity goes up. Reactivity goes up, annoyance goes up. They sit down with Incho opposite and Mikado - thankfully - as far away as possible. Incho makes a flurry of hand gestures whilst looking at me and I find it hard who I should concentrate on - the actual person I'm conversing with or the source of the sound. I look at Incho anyway, out of respect, I guess.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "So, Miss Tainaka."
Yuki: "Yes?"
I maintain eye contact with Shizune although she occasionally glances at Misha to know what I'm replying.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Shicchan wants to remind you that you and your band still need to formally register as a club with the school and turn in your Public Space Usage Form on time from now on~!"
Yuki: "I'll get right on it. But we're a band not a club, so what do we register as?"
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "...Light Music, of course!"
Yuki: "Okay. I'll drop by the Student Council room tomorrow."
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "You'd better~!"
I can't tell if that was to be said with a laugh like Mikado or if it was to be said threateningly, judging by Incho's facial expression. It's hard to tell when one's influence ends and the other's begins.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "I'd be quick too, because we're managing club funds and whatnot soon~!"
Yuki: "We don't even have a budget. We paid for all our instruments ourselves."
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "All the more reason to register as a club! Wahahaha~!"
Yuki: "I guess, but we don't really need a continual budget. Only a few days ago Hisao helped me pay for a new drum kit."
I was very right, Incho and Hisao have feelings for each other. Why else would she blush?
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Oh? What's with the sudden kindness, Hicchan? You never buy us anything~!"
Hisao: "Well, she making some strong puppy dog eyes and she really wanted them, so I figured I should do something nice once in a while."
Misha: "Are you sure you don't have some ulterior motive, Hicchan? Wahahaha~!"
Nobody likes her joke.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Cut that out Misha! Wait..."
I giggle. I've been waiting for that to happen more than once. I see Incho smiling as well. Somewhere, a puppy just died. Oh well, I hate dogs. I tuck into my dessert, some ice cream while Incho eats her Leppard cake with sugar poured over it. We exchange a few more jokes and conversations before we're all done. I guess Incho isn't so bad. She can have Hisao though. Mikado is still annoying though.
Misha: "Wahahaha~!"
I put my head in my hands and grab my hair ring tightly.
Shizune: "..."
Misha: "Anyway, we'll be be going now. See you tomorrow Hicchan and Tainaka!"
Hisao: "See you guys."
Yuki: "See ya, I guess."
Before long, I'm finished and I start to go back to my room and restash my food.
Hisao: "Say, Yuki,"
I turn on my heels.
Yuki: "Hm?"
Hisao: "Do you think you could perhaps teach me the drums someday?"

-> () "I'm not too sure..." (Dumb Choice)
-> (X) "Why not."

I can't imagine him doing it well, but I guess I should do something in return.
Yuki: "Someday. And I can only teach. But if that's what you want."
Hisao: "Thanks."
Yuki: "See ya."

It's actually an eventful walk back to the dorms. Everyone's running around doing last minute preps because tomorrow's the official showdown of the Track Team and the Athletics Club. Oh well, nothing in my terms. I might go watch that legless girl blitz everyone though.

I wash and change relatively quickly, and just lie on my bed tapping away on my rubber practice drum pad, going over today like I always do, crotch area still itching. Then I'm reminded of Rin's shenanigan a few days ago. "My crotch itches and I can't reach it by myself."
My face goes red again. Suddenly, a knock at my door.
Yuki: "Who is it?"
Rin: "It's me."
I can recognize her voice but I'm still perplexed as to how she manages to knock each time. I open the door and she's standing there barefoot and in some purple pajama set. Sleeves knotted, of course. She walks in non-chanantly and closes the door behind her.
Yuki: "So what brings you here this late?"
And she doesn't answer with words, but with an action. And before I can come to my senses, I get a lip-plant from Rin. I recoil and just see her staring at me blankly.
Rin: "How boring. You didn't even reciprocate."
Yuki: "Because it was unexpected! Plus I'm not into girls."
Rin: "No? Please? Emi wouldn't help me experiment either."
Yuki: "But why do you need to know?"
Rin: "Why are apples red?"
That has nothing to do with anything but I know Rin will do anything to get an answer, so I decide to pull out my insane philosophy gun too, just before she reels in for another kiss.
Yuki: "Rin if you do this, there will be dire consequences."
Rin: "If it's as nice as they say it's a risk I'll take. Besides, aren't you just a tiny bit curious?"
She has a strong point but I still feel it's wrong. But at least nobody can walk in and see us, right?

-> () No! She's my friend and we shouldn't be doing this here.
-> () Fuck it all, go for it.

---

For the record, I know many many people will choose the second option, which fortunately, is what I'd much rather write on. :wink:
Plus I've got a great idea.

Anyway, sorry if this part feels rushed, despite the fact that it's even longer the the last one. Anyway, this was a lot more fun to write, and I hope it's a lot more enjoyable. And yes, I'm aware of that issue about choices in fan-fics, but I just want to see how many moralfags there are here.

Re: It's fun in the background...

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:26 am
by DuaneMoody
If you're planning to have Rin become a menstrual painter I will reach through the Internet and kill you. Otherwise, enjoyable story.