Page 1 of 3

'What's The Story, Morning Glory?' (new shit as of 8/11)

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:01 am
by ccdr
DISCLAIMER: I HAVE THE WRITING ABILITY OF A FOUR YEAR OLD. THANK YOU COOK FOR EDITING MY TERRIBLE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR. I LOVE YOU FOREVER, EXCEPT NOT IN A GAY KIND OF WAY. MAYBE WE COULD JUST HANG OUT ON THE WEEKENDS OR SOMETHING, MAYBE WATCH THE GAME OR WHATEVER. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Tags: nosex hanako badend longreadnopayoff abstractbullshit ithinkthisguyhasasmokingfetish


There is a place, slightly to the north of a quiet town. It is a quiet sort of glade, well surrounded by the kind of persistent greenery you only find on mountains and the floor of the Aokigahara. It is nigh impossible to get to in any kind of vehicle, thus making it unworn and unvisited. There, if one looks hard enough, one can find an orderly path, kept clear of leaves and blossoms by some unseen force. This path leads to a hill, a rather large one. On the top of this hill sits a reminder. A cold stone reminder of what could have been. A representation of a person gone from this world, nothing more, nothing less.

Sets of feet on the soft earth. A woman with long hair blowing unrestrained in the wind starts down the path, accompanied by two poker faced suits. She is obviously a proud woman, but she walks with her head downwards, searching the earth as if the sky shamed her. There is absolute silence, the kind of quiet that not even birds dare break.

There is nothing but peace and the sound of feet, for awhile. And then they reach the reminder.

There is a pause.

One of the suits coughs lightly and straightens his tie, clearly not at ease. "Ma'am, remember you have an appointment at eleven today." There is another pause, and the woman nods dully, leaning down to sit a bundle of flowers on the reminder. The other suit looks at the nervous one in disgust.

"W-Well, if you'll excuse me." He turns and leaves more hurriedly then he came. The second man sighs, and reaching into his jacket pocket, pulls out a flask while approaching the grave. While he slowly takes a pull from it, tears slide down the woman's face, silently reaching the ground.

The man finishes his drink, looks thoughtful for a minute, then screws the cap of the flask back on. He puts it back in the jacket pocket and pauses for a second, before he reaches out and grips the woman's shoulder, giving it a affirming squeeze and turning to leave. He gets no more then a few steps before a whisper comes to his ears.

"Kenji. Thank you."

He smiles without turning around, and continues walking.

There is a pause. Longer then all the rest. Stasis seems to overcome the tiny hill and the figure upon it.

At last, after what seems like an eternity, the woman reaches out and slowly moves her finger along the indentations carved on the stone.

"Well, here we are," she whispers. Her tears have stopped. "I miss you, you know. Mari misses you. She's almost three now. She has your smarts, you know. She asked for her daddy the other day and I didn't know what to say." A pause, A mental dusting off. "I'm sorry. I know this wasn't your fault. "

She stands after a few more minutes of quiet recollection, staring downwards at the cold reminder. "I love you. I always will. Thank you." The words are at once practiced and solemn, like a farewell: she has to do this. She does it for her daughter. She has to let go, so she won't be crippled, drowned in her sorrow. She reaches up and brushes her long dark hair out of her scarred face.

She leaves, this time with her head held high.

HERE LIES NAKAI HISAO
"Requiescat in pace"

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:02 am
by ccdr
Joke ending

HERE LIES NAKAI HISAO
"He did them all"

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:11 am
by Vertical
withdrawn

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:20 am
by ccdr
withdrawn lol

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:30 am
by Juno
Vertical wrote:
ccdr wrote:scat
Pormanteau?
WAT.

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:49 am
by Blue123
The phrase "Requiescat in pace" typically occurs on headstones, usually abbreviated "RIP" or "R.I.P.".

derp

Re: bawwww

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:55 am
by Juno
Also it's Latin, so I don't get the portmanteau comment.
PS. To be a bit on-topic, bawwww indeed.

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:11 pm
by Deimos
Short and nice although I think the whole "moving on"-thingy at the end was a little bit too generic. I would have preferred an ending like Akira has in Tsukihime but this is still good.

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:14 pm
by flurk
why would kenji consort with the enemy?

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:47 pm
by ccdr
flurk wrote:why would kenji consort with the enemy?
Kenji is a true bro and true bros overcome even their worst fears for their bros

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:34 pm
by Layzuhl
ccdr wrote:
flurk wrote:why would kenji consort with the enemy?
Kenji is a true bro and true bros overcome even their worst fears for their bros
There is nothing more bro than a pull of whiskey and a firm clasp on the shoulder.

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:07 am
by Ozymil
Though you could have tried to combine some sentences and save the awkwardness of a few too many periods, I thoroughly bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwd~.

A short, poignant sucker-punch to the gut; just the way I like it. Props to you!

AND DUDE, I DON'T LIKE DUDES LIKE THAT, DUDE.

DUDE.
ccdr wrote:
flurk wrote:why would kenji consort with the enemy?
Kenji is a true bro and true bros overcome even their worst fears for their bros
When a bro is no mo', his bro will look out for his ho.

... It's a work in progress.

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:04 pm
by DuaneMoody
Ozymil wrote:When a bro is no mo', his bro will look out for his ho.
I believe that maxim was first codified by the HeBros.

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:18 pm
by The Laughing Man
Holy shit. BAWWWW. Very well written.

Kenji is a BRO. To the end.

...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

You're gonna carry that weight...

Re: "On That Hill"

Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:49 pm
by ccdr
Anyway, I originally intended for this to be much, much longer detailing the death of Hisao, and even a little funeral scene. I kinda wanted to write about Kenji and Hanako's changes in personality, maybe even have Kenji beat a dude up or something. I have bits of paragraphs saved in a txt file here and maybe one day I'll write the complete things.

I'm terribly sorry about my stop and go writing style, I'm trying to fix that.

I'm working on an Iwanako POV thing, so maybe look foreward to that?

All glory to Silentcook-toad as always