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Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:06 am
by Guest
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:57 am
by bitpeg
Uh, do you want actual art critique or that super soft and wimpy critique that comes from DA?
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:53 am
by Malda
This is the same person that posted the links, to clarify.
Yes, I'd prefer actual critique. Also, ideas for Misha's and Shizune's clothes are muchly valued.
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:19 am
by flurk
i'm not going to criticise the drawings because i can't draw well myself. but i think you should remake the costume for rin. give her something that draws your attention away from her arm-stubs. perhaps something like a shawl?
EDIT: what's up with lilly's bum?
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:33 am
by Malda
Lilly's wearing a petticoat underneath the blue skirt that's why her bum looks so big.
You're right about Rin. Is the coat-thing a good idea or should I drop it entirely? Also, I forgot to mention that she wears special shoes with an open fron that enables her to pick things up and such.
Please, Misha and Shi-chan ideas, my creative juices have ran dry...
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:46 am
by bitpeg
I'm not going to complain about lack of backgrounds because I don't usually put them in my drawings either
Hanako:
It doesn't look like you really tried, I'm sure you can do better than that. Seriously, it looks lifeless. The expressionless face and the static posture just give of the impression that she's a cardboard cutout rather than the character. And either the hands are too small or the head is too big, can't tell for sure. Not only that, but the clothes lack any real definition, like shading and wrinkles. And I don't know if it's the gloves or not, but there's something up with those fingers. The shoes on the other hand don't match up. They're asymmetrical. Then that makes my eyes wander to the legs which, I noticed, also seem to be asymmetrical. The right leg is a couple inches longer (scaled) than the left leg. Same goes for the right arm.
Rin:
The hair is wrong, I don't know if you did that on purpose or not. The tits are lopsided and misshapen. Also, the feet seem to point outward rather than forward, which is an unnatural way to stand. And when I was looking at it, she seemed to lack a feminine figure. Other than the boobs, she's androgynous. As for the clothes, the right tail on the coat appears to be wider than the left tail, and the frill on the shirt changes width. Then there's the obvious things which have already been stated about the Hanako drawing (posture, shading, etc.)
Emi:
Are those grapes in her hair? Awesome. Anyways, the hair buns seem to be uneven, like one's a different size than the other. Same goes for the eyes. Looking further down, I see the chin, which is lumpy, and the neck, which seems to be offset from the head. Or maybe it's the head which is offset from the neck, I dunno. But the boobs seem to be lopsided, and once again, the arms are different lengths. While on the subject of arms, I have to say that the fingers look more like spikes than fingers. But now for the biggest thing which got me with this picture: square feet. What made you make these feet square is beyond me, but I'm suspecting lazyness.
Lilly:
Surprisingly, the head is fine except for the hair. The way you drew the hair on this one makes it so that most of it is on her right side. But now we get to the body. The arms seem to be extremely small and disproportionate. As for the clothes, you seem to have put a bit more detail into this picture. And since this picture is a left sided profile, it leaves less room to mess up on. The only other things I can see that don't sit quite well are the feet (foot), which are (is) small, and the back of the dress, which falls lower than the feet. Aaand... the dress seems to bulge forward where her pelvis is. I haven't seen that in too much formal wear, and the ones I did see it on had a prominent bulge all the way around, not a little mound.
I hope that helps.
For Misha and Shizune ideas, just go to ebay and look up "doll dress".
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:49 pm
by Malda
Thank you for the critique. I appreciate it.
I was very far away from the original source when drawing these, so that's why they look a bit odd. Everything is drewn from memory. Also, I'm very bad at hands, proportion, perspective and shading, which is why those things are atrocious.
Hanako: Those shoes, those shoes... My little sister bumped into me when I was colouring them, which is why they look so different. Also, I can't draw hands at all... Her face is supposed to have a tiny smile, but I see now that it is almost invisible and you only see it if you know that it's there.
Rin: Like I said, I was very far away from the source. Also, this is the piece I'm the angriest with (I'm mad at most of them for turning out so different from what they looked like in my head). This one will be redone in a near future. Anyway, I remembered her as having a rather androgynous figure.
Emi: Her hair is in odango, aka hair buns. Her feet are square because she is wearing prostethics; those are not her real feet. She, as most of the girls, is drawn slightly turned away from the viewer, so I tried to do perspective. The chin is lumpy because the table had a little bump in it that I didn't expect when inking her.
Lilly: Is there a problem with her hair? English is not my first language, so pardon if there is some meaning I didn't quite understand. Her foot and arm is a bit on the small side, yes, but like I said, I'm dreadful at proportioning. Also, the skirt, thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed.
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:15 pm
by bitpeg
Oh, well I guess that explains most of it. Here's what I mean by Lilly's hair. What you did is draw it so that the left of her neck has no hair covering it, whereas the right side has all the hair.
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:27 pm
by Malda
Thank you for clarifying, I now realize that it looks very strange with her hair like that.
Rin. Her clothes are horrible, the worst ones of them all (and most of their clothes are bad). Give me something to work on, please?
Also, Misha and Shii-chan need colour suggestions and stuff. General ideas, gloves or not, does Misha keep her drill cut, etc.
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:45 pm
by bitpeg
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:43 pm
by flurk
good idea. shizzle should be showing off her cleazzle
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:23 am
by Vertical
You just blew my monocle. Off my face. Into my tea saucer. Which stained my cumberbund. You spoony bard.
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:11 am
by Pimmy
I like the way you so faces, they're very cute in a picture-book sort of way! (i think everyone has given you well enough critique~)
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:20 am
by Malda
Pimmy wrote:I like the way you so faces, they're very cute in a picture-book sort of way! (i think everyone has given you well enough critique~)
Wow, I feel honoured by that comment. Pimmy, your work is great and I enjoy it.
Cute in a picture-book sort of way? Are there any picture books you can give to me as examples? I'm afraid I do not understand what you mean...
Re: Formal girls
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:07 am
by Unami Araragi
I like your drawings. They're simple and quick, did you take your time to think about what they were just wearing?