It's Over 9000!!!!, Hanako's Manly Picnic...And more.
Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 5:05 pm
"HNNNNNNNNNNGH!!!" Hisao threw his head back and roared as his body was enveloped in a golden light.
Misha, wearing the traditional saiyan armor, turned to Shizune and quickly signed, 'Shizune...what does the scouter say about his power level?'
Shizune tapped the rim of her glasses, and a series of numbers sprung up on the lenses. Her mouth falling agape, she fought hard to keep her anger steady as she signed, 'IT'S OVER 9000!!!!' She pulled off her glasses and crushed them in her hand.
'WHAT?!! OVER 9000?!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!' Misha signed back, utterly horrified.
Hisao just waited patiently for them to finish their little conversation.
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"Cheer up, emo kid!"
Hanako glanced up from her book and saw Misha beaming down at her. "W...What?!"
"You can't be sullen and downcast all the time!" Misha exclaimed, "It's a beautiful day, and you're young and healthy! I don't see why you always have to keep to yourself and read in the library all the time, Haachan!!"
"I...I'm afraid of being seen...with my hideous face..." Hanako whimpered.
"Oh, come on! The scars are barely noticeable! Besides...think about it! At least you have both arms and legs! At least you still have both your ears! At least you still have both your eyes! Not everyone is as lucky as you after surviving a serious injury! So...put a smile on that pretty little face of yours!"
"I...I can't..."
"Fine! Then...I'LL HELP YOU!! WA HA HA HA HA~" Misha suddenly pounced upon the purple-haired girl, and began pulling on Hanako's cheeks in order to force a smile onto her face. It was surprisingly rubbery...
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The first time Rin ever saw Emi and her prosthetic legs, only one thought entered her mind:
'Oh, that is SO fuckin' unfair...'
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Hanako Ikezawa wasn't sure how she had ended up on the roof with Hisao and Kenji to have a 'manly picnic', yet here she was. What Hisao had said to convince Kenji to not suspect Hanako as being a member of the feminist agenda was left unanswered. He did seem pretty friendly though, despite being a bespectacled little twit.
"Um..." Hanako stared at the half-empty bottle of booze in Kenji's hand, "We...we're not even o-old enough to d-drink, you know...and where did you g-get this anyway...?"
"Meh. My mom didn't have time to visit me, so she sent me a malt as an apology present!" Kenji spoke up, grinning. He had told Hisao the same thing earlier that year, too.
Hanako didn't believe a word of it.
"So, Hanako," Hisao chuckled, breathing heavily, "Are there any GIRLS here that strike your fancy...?"
A deep blush formed on Hanako's cheeks as she thought about the girl who had stolen her heart. "It's...it's Lilly..."
Hisao looked disappointed. "What? Really? But...but that's so uninteresting! At least have it be Emi or something! I wanna see a lesbian-sex scandal!!!" He snapped. He was really determined about this.
"S-S-Sorry...it's definitely L-Lilly..." Hanako replied.
"Dammit!!!"
Kenji took a long swig of beer. "Ahh...so, you gonna confess to her yet?"
"N-N-No!!! of course not!!!" Hanako cried, waving her hands erratically, "She's...she's a wonderful, beautiful refined young lady...and I'm...and I'm a shy ugly dyke..."
Hisao shook his head, and placed a comforting hand on Hanako's shoulder. "Hanako...shy ugly dykes only exist in real life. This is a Visual Novel, and we're just a bunch of well-drawn 2-D pictures that can communicate only through text boxes. Even someone with a hideous burn like you can look like a 20-dollar porn star thanks to skillful artists!! I bet you're already really popular with the fans of the game, despite the full version not even being out yet!!!"
"Ah, y-you're ri - wait, what?!!"
"Here, eat a pretzel." Before Hanako could inquire any further, Hisao had stuffed a large pretzel into her mouth.
"By the way," Kenji suddenly spoke up, "I was wondering, Hisao...would you fuck my cousin for me? She's always complaining about being the only virgin in her class at her school...it's really been bothering my parents, who have to take care of her while her parents are on vacation..."
"...What's she look like?" Hisao asked.
Kenji reached into his pocket, and pulled out a picture. It was a photo of Iwanako. Hisao's heart stopped.
"...DEAR LORD..." Hisao collapsed to the floor a few seconds later.
Hanako then looked at the picture. "...I-I'll do her..."
"SUCCESS!!!" Kenji gave an over-dramatic thumbs up and a gleaming smile that would make Naruto jealous.
Misha, wearing the traditional saiyan armor, turned to Shizune and quickly signed, 'Shizune...what does the scouter say about his power level?'
Shizune tapped the rim of her glasses, and a series of numbers sprung up on the lenses. Her mouth falling agape, she fought hard to keep her anger steady as she signed, 'IT'S OVER 9000!!!!' She pulled off her glasses and crushed them in her hand.
'WHAT?!! OVER 9000?!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!' Misha signed back, utterly horrified.
Hisao just waited patiently for them to finish their little conversation.
---------------
---------------
---------------
---------------
---------------
"Cheer up, emo kid!"
Hanako glanced up from her book and saw Misha beaming down at her. "W...What?!"
"You can't be sullen and downcast all the time!" Misha exclaimed, "It's a beautiful day, and you're young and healthy! I don't see why you always have to keep to yourself and read in the library all the time, Haachan!!"
"I...I'm afraid of being seen...with my hideous face..." Hanako whimpered.
"Oh, come on! The scars are barely noticeable! Besides...think about it! At least you have both arms and legs! At least you still have both your ears! At least you still have both your eyes! Not everyone is as lucky as you after surviving a serious injury! So...put a smile on that pretty little face of yours!"
"I...I can't..."
"Fine! Then...I'LL HELP YOU!! WA HA HA HA HA~" Misha suddenly pounced upon the purple-haired girl, and began pulling on Hanako's cheeks in order to force a smile onto her face. It was surprisingly rubbery...
----------------
----------------
---------------
--------------
--------------
The first time Rin ever saw Emi and her prosthetic legs, only one thought entered her mind:
'Oh, that is SO fuckin' unfair...'
----------------
----------------
---------------
--------------
--------------
Hanako Ikezawa wasn't sure how she had ended up on the roof with Hisao and Kenji to have a 'manly picnic', yet here she was. What Hisao had said to convince Kenji to not suspect Hanako as being a member of the feminist agenda was left unanswered. He did seem pretty friendly though, despite being a bespectacled little twit.
"Um..." Hanako stared at the half-empty bottle of booze in Kenji's hand, "We...we're not even o-old enough to d-drink, you know...and where did you g-get this anyway...?"
"Meh. My mom didn't have time to visit me, so she sent me a malt as an apology present!" Kenji spoke up, grinning. He had told Hisao the same thing earlier that year, too.
Hanako didn't believe a word of it.
"So, Hanako," Hisao chuckled, breathing heavily, "Are there any GIRLS here that strike your fancy...?"
A deep blush formed on Hanako's cheeks as she thought about the girl who had stolen her heart. "It's...it's Lilly..."
Hisao looked disappointed. "What? Really? But...but that's so uninteresting! At least have it be Emi or something! I wanna see a lesbian-sex scandal!!!" He snapped. He was really determined about this.
"S-S-Sorry...it's definitely L-Lilly..." Hanako replied.
"Dammit!!!"
Kenji took a long swig of beer. "Ahh...so, you gonna confess to her yet?"
"N-N-No!!! of course not!!!" Hanako cried, waving her hands erratically, "She's...she's a wonderful, beautiful refined young lady...and I'm...and I'm a shy ugly dyke..."
Hisao shook his head, and placed a comforting hand on Hanako's shoulder. "Hanako...shy ugly dykes only exist in real life. This is a Visual Novel, and we're just a bunch of well-drawn 2-D pictures that can communicate only through text boxes. Even someone with a hideous burn like you can look like a 20-dollar porn star thanks to skillful artists!! I bet you're already really popular with the fans of the game, despite the full version not even being out yet!!!"
"Ah, y-you're ri - wait, what?!!"
"Here, eat a pretzel." Before Hanako could inquire any further, Hisao had stuffed a large pretzel into her mouth.
"By the way," Kenji suddenly spoke up, "I was wondering, Hisao...would you fuck my cousin for me? She's always complaining about being the only virgin in her class at her school...it's really been bothering my parents, who have to take care of her while her parents are on vacation..."
"...What's she look like?" Hisao asked.
Kenji reached into his pocket, and pulled out a picture. It was a photo of Iwanako. Hisao's heart stopped.
"...DEAR LORD..." Hisao collapsed to the floor a few seconds later.
Hanako then looked at the picture. "...I-I'll do her..."
"SUCCESS!!!" Kenji gave an over-dramatic thumbs up and a gleaming smile that would make Naruto jealous.
