Stupid Crack "Ideas" 2
Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 3:57 pm
They end up being just quick snippets of conversation near the end.
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Hisao had just stepped out of the shower when Kenji suddenly burst into the bathroom, completely nude except for a pale-green leaf covering his crotch. Hisao sighed; why did this have to happen AGAIN?
"Hisao!" Kenji called, looking around wildly, "Are you in here?! Hisao?!!"
"I'm right here, Kenji..." Hisao sighed.
"Ah! There you are!" Kenji wiped his forehead, as if to appear relieved, "Listen, Hisao, how much money do you have on you right now...?"
Hisao thought for a moment. "About 5000 yen. Why?"
"I need to borrow some so I can buy a pizza for me and the turtle men living in my bedroom!!!" Kenji exclaimed in total seriousness.
For a moment, Hisao contemplated jumping out the window just to escape this psycho.
"...What?"
"They're really hungry, Hisao! So am I! Hurry up!!!" Kenji snapped.
"Kenji, I'm not going to give you-"
Suddenly, four turtle men carrying ninja weapons entered the bathroom. They certainly looked rather hungry.
Turning to them, Kenji shook his head and said, "Sorry, guys...he ain't payin'..."
Hisao then proceeded to have a major heart attack. "HNNNNNNNNGHHHHH!!!"
"EH?! EH?!! HEY, HISAO...DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON ME NOW!!!" Kenji shouted, kicking Hisao in the ribs.
That didn't help Hisao any.
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"Are you ready...Hanako-chan?" Rin asked as she leaned her back up against the wall and held out her bare feet in front of the purple-haired girl's face.
Hanako closed her eyes, her cheeks glowing bright red, and she nodded. "Y...Yes...I've...I've wanted to do this for a w-while..."
"Do it then..."
Hanako pressed her lips gently against the sole of Rin's right foot. She kissed it at least three times before she brought out her tongue. Unlike most people, who would probably become very ticklish from having their feet licked, Rin remained perfectly calm. Hanako moved her tongue from the sole slowly upwards past Rin's blisters, where she sucked gingerly on each and every toe for at least fifteen seconds total. Rin cringed a bit and a blush formed on her pale cheeks, but she still said nothing.
"Mmm...mmm..." Hanako was breathing heavily as she pulled Rin's big toe out of her mouth. Rin's entire foot was now drenched in sticky, wet saliva. Hanako was almost about ready to go back down for another go when Rin suddenly smashed their lips together in a passionate kiss.
"Ahh...but...but I just licked your foot...kissing so soon like this...isn't that really u-u-unsanitary...?"
"Heh...that's what makes it so erotic...don't you play eroges, Hanako-chan?"
"N-No..."
"Hmm...I don't either..."
"W-WHAT?!!"
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Every morning upon waking up, Hanako would glance at the trophy shelf her mother had made for her several years ago. Why she had gone and made something so irrational was a mystery, so Hanako kept it for the mere sake of showing her mother that she was thinking about her. One would think that this trophy shelf would be obviously barren, but surprisingly, that was not so. There was single trophy present, yet it was one that made Hanako feel sick to her stomach every time she looked at it.
It was the trophy for coming first place in the pie-eating contest last year.
'...If Hisao ever comes into my room, I better make sure to hide that damn thing...' Hanako thought to herself.
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"You like your coffee hot, right, Hisao?" Kenji asked one day out of the blue.
Hisao nodded. "Yeah, of course...so what?"
"Heh...it's just like Grand Theft Auto!!"
"...WHAT?!!"
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During the middle of class, and completely bored out of his mind, Hisao began to think of some very strange things.
'...I wonder what Hanako-chan would be like if she was tsundere?'
Suddenly, an image formed in his mind of Hanako looking all cute and nervous while saying "Go to hell, please" under her breath.
He nearly died when his 'moe-meter' nearly went off the scale from the overdose of accumulated moe. "HNNNNNNNGHHHH!!!"
"Dammit, Hisao! Not again!!!" Muto cursed under his breath.
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Hisao ran up to Emi while she was taking a break from running. "Hey, Emi!"
"Yeah, Hisao?" Emi asked, smiling widely.
Hisao paused for a moment, then he turned around and walked away.
"Nope...I can't think of anything funny regarding you right now...sorry for bothering you..."
Emi had no idea what he was talking about.
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Hisao - "Shizune should definitely try out for American Idol!!"
Misha - "...Oh, that was mean, Hiichan..."
Hisao - "What? If Simon Cowell can't appreciate a good rendition of Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' in sign language, then this world holds no purpose to me, dammit!!!"
Misha - "...I would ask if I could have whatever you're taking, but I'm probably already taking it..."
Hisao - "HA HA HAAAAAAH~!!!"
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Hisao - "Hey, Hanako-chan, how are you - wait, why do you have a pair of Lilly's panties on your head and wearing her bra over your eyes?"
Hanako - "Uh...uh...uh...I'm...I'm checking them for stains...?"
Hisao - "...Huh...keep up the good work!"
Hanako - "OH, I WILL."
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Hisao had just stepped out of the shower when Kenji suddenly burst into the bathroom, completely nude except for a pale-green leaf covering his crotch. Hisao sighed; why did this have to happen AGAIN?
"Hisao!" Kenji called, looking around wildly, "Are you in here?! Hisao?!!"
"I'm right here, Kenji..." Hisao sighed.
"Ah! There you are!" Kenji wiped his forehead, as if to appear relieved, "Listen, Hisao, how much money do you have on you right now...?"
Hisao thought for a moment. "About 5000 yen. Why?"
"I need to borrow some so I can buy a pizza for me and the turtle men living in my bedroom!!!" Kenji exclaimed in total seriousness.
For a moment, Hisao contemplated jumping out the window just to escape this psycho.
"...What?"
"They're really hungry, Hisao! So am I! Hurry up!!!" Kenji snapped.
"Kenji, I'm not going to give you-"
Suddenly, four turtle men carrying ninja weapons entered the bathroom. They certainly looked rather hungry.
Turning to them, Kenji shook his head and said, "Sorry, guys...he ain't payin'..."
Hisao then proceeded to have a major heart attack. "HNNNNNNNNGHHHHH!!!"
"EH?! EH?!! HEY, HISAO...DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON ME NOW!!!" Kenji shouted, kicking Hisao in the ribs.
That didn't help Hisao any.
---------------------------------------------------------------
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-----
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"Are you ready...Hanako-chan?" Rin asked as she leaned her back up against the wall and held out her bare feet in front of the purple-haired girl's face.
Hanako closed her eyes, her cheeks glowing bright red, and she nodded. "Y...Yes...I've...I've wanted to do this for a w-while..."
"Do it then..."
Hanako pressed her lips gently against the sole of Rin's right foot. She kissed it at least three times before she brought out her tongue. Unlike most people, who would probably become very ticklish from having their feet licked, Rin remained perfectly calm. Hanako moved her tongue from the sole slowly upwards past Rin's blisters, where she sucked gingerly on each and every toe for at least fifteen seconds total. Rin cringed a bit and a blush formed on her pale cheeks, but she still said nothing.
"Mmm...mmm..." Hanako was breathing heavily as she pulled Rin's big toe out of her mouth. Rin's entire foot was now drenched in sticky, wet saliva. Hanako was almost about ready to go back down for another go when Rin suddenly smashed their lips together in a passionate kiss.
"Ahh...but...but I just licked your foot...kissing so soon like this...isn't that really u-u-unsanitary...?"
"Heh...that's what makes it so erotic...don't you play eroges, Hanako-chan?"
"N-No..."
"Hmm...I don't either..."
"W-WHAT?!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
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--
----------
-----
---
---
--------------------------
----------
-----
---
---
Every morning upon waking up, Hanako would glance at the trophy shelf her mother had made for her several years ago. Why she had gone and made something so irrational was a mystery, so Hanako kept it for the mere sake of showing her mother that she was thinking about her. One would think that this trophy shelf would be obviously barren, but surprisingly, that was not so. There was single trophy present, yet it was one that made Hanako feel sick to her stomach every time she looked at it.
It was the trophy for coming first place in the pie-eating contest last year.
'...If Hisao ever comes into my room, I better make sure to hide that damn thing...' Hanako thought to herself.
---------------------------------------------------------------
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---
"You like your coffee hot, right, Hisao?" Kenji asked one day out of the blue.
Hisao nodded. "Yeah, of course...so what?"
"Heh...it's just like Grand Theft Auto!!"
"...WHAT?!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------
-------
--
----------
-----
---
---
--------------------------
----------
-----
---
---
During the middle of class, and completely bored out of his mind, Hisao began to think of some very strange things.
'...I wonder what Hanako-chan would be like if she was tsundere?'
Suddenly, an image formed in his mind of Hanako looking all cute and nervous while saying "Go to hell, please" under her breath.
He nearly died when his 'moe-meter' nearly went off the scale from the overdose of accumulated moe. "HNNNNNNNGHHHH!!!"
"Dammit, Hisao! Not again!!!" Muto cursed under his breath.
---------------------------------------------------------------
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Hisao ran up to Emi while she was taking a break from running. "Hey, Emi!"
"Yeah, Hisao?" Emi asked, smiling widely.
Hisao paused for a moment, then he turned around and walked away.
"Nope...I can't think of anything funny regarding you right now...sorry for bothering you..."
Emi had no idea what he was talking about.
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Hisao - "Shizune should definitely try out for American Idol!!"
Misha - "...Oh, that was mean, Hiichan..."
Hisao - "What? If Simon Cowell can't appreciate a good rendition of Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' in sign language, then this world holds no purpose to me, dammit!!!"
Misha - "...I would ask if I could have whatever you're taking, but I'm probably already taking it..."
Hisao - "HA HA HAAAAAAH~!!!"
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Hisao - "Hey, Hanako-chan, how are you - wait, why do you have a pair of Lilly's panties on your head and wearing her bra over your eyes?"
Hanako - "Uh...uh...uh...I'm...I'm checking them for stains...?"
Hisao - "...Huh...keep up the good work!"
Hanako - "OH, I WILL."
