Katawa Shoujo Forums

These are my ultra-random (and often unhinged) answers to Oddball’s Questions of the Day, a sort of fanfic author’s writing prompt. At the insistence of hdkv, I have decided to post the best ones here. He was going to do it for me if I took too long.

Enough talk. Let the games begin.

Not counting Emi and Hanako's disabling accidents, what's the most painful experience the cast members have ever had?
Asked by Oddball on August 6th, 2024.

Everyone: Hisao’s stupidity. (Results may vary, consult your doctor.)

Shizune: [Deafness caused by Father screaming at Mother’s womb, hoping to force my chromosomes to make me male. Out of spite, I willed myself to be female.]

How do the characters respond when you ask if you can copy their homework?
Asked by Oddball on September 4th, 2024.

Hanako: "Oh, crap. Schoolwork." (Oddball knows this.)

Shizune: Shoots you in the face.

Mutou: Wrong Akio, idiot.

Kenji: Distributes the entire answer sheet while singing The Internationale.

Lilly: Sorry, I can tell from your voice alone that you lack the testosterone to meet the minimum length requirement needed to associate with me.

What is the characters favorite game to play in P.E.?
Asked by Oddball on September 7th, 2024.

Emi: "Playing Doctor. Specifically, a proctologist."

Miki: "Uhhh... I think he meant things like baseball, Emi.

What would the casts yearbook quotes say?
Asked by Oddball on September 13th, 2024.

Nomiya: "Fuck them kids!"

Mutou: "You mean metaphorically, right?"

What do you think of tattoos and the people that get them? Would you ever get one yourself?
Asked by Oddball on September 18th, 2024.

Lilly: I would never!

Hanako: sweats profusely as she remembers that time Lilly got drunk and had "Seed Canister" tattooed on her ass

Shizune: raises the sleeve on her arm

Misha: My lawyers have advised me to not translate and/or finish the joke.

What's the last physical object the cast members have tried to repair and how well did it go?
Asked by Oddball on September 28th, 2024.

Emi: My asshole. I had to get help from Nurse.

Lilly: Hanako. She just seemed so fragile; I couldn't help myself.

Hanako: You wanted to dress me up in a leather suit and told me to call you Niji. The only thing that needs fixing is your head.

Lilly: Dearest, it would help your confidence! Every time you and Hisao make love, he's always the one taking the lead.

Hanako: I knew we should have done it in his room, instead...

What's the worst excuse that the cast members have used for something that actually worked?
Asked by Oddball on September 29th, 2024.

Lilly: "I'm leaving for Scotland to reconnect with my family" or some such bullshit. I'm now free to get railed by all of the Tartan Army.

Hanako: "I've got to go do something." Works every time, but I feel guilty for making Hisao think I was scared or something. I was just horny.

Hisao: I faked a heart attack to get away from Iwanako. She's a nice girl, but goddamn, there's a reason you never get to see her face.

Emi: Telling Hisao the track captain is gay. Y'all have been accusing the wrong girl of being a cheater.

The whole thread will be "an Alex's descent into a perfect creativity madness". Thanks for starting this, people must witness and enjoy it.

The cast members are given permission to repaint or re-wallpaper their rooms! What colors/patterns do they use?
Asked by Oddball on October 3rd, 2024.

Lilly: What is color?

Hanako: Something you can't contemplate. Like genuine love, for example.

If you were a magical pretty girl, what would your signature special attack be?
Asked by Oddball on October 6th, 2024.

Shizune: ...

Misha: "Castration." Naturally...

Hanako: Squirting. I've almost nailed it; I practice every day with Hisao.

Lilly: That's... sweet, but I don't believe that counts as magic, dear.

Hanako: Neither does gaslighting.

Rin: Gases have light?

What does the cast do when someone wants to fight them (verbally or otherwise)?
Asked by Stiles on October 14th, 2024.

Lilly and Shizune: Truce? Truce.

Rin: Huh?

Emi: These blades are a weapon of mass destruction when kicked at a high velocity. You sure about this?

Hanako: Let me show you how skin reacts to sharp glass...

Rika and Akira: We settle this with Street Fighter!

Suzu: We settle this with board games!

Saki: Watch out, there's a falling piano!

Lelouch Lamperouge: Friend or Foe?
Asked by Sharp-O on October 23rd, 2024.

Shizune: [As an advocate for world domination, I approve.]

Lilly: Domination, you say?

Hanako: Lelouch is about as canon as my stuffed rabbit. Therefore, he is my friend.

Rin: Why hasn't anyone made a Molly x Lelouch fic? They're both Britanish.

Terrorists have taken Yamaku Academy; how are you going to Die Hard?
Asked by Sharp-O on October 24th, 2024.

Hisao: dies of heart attack

Miki and Emi: BRING IT ON!!!!

Lilly: I shall heroically offer myself to them in exchange for the well-being of the others. Condoms are unnecessary.

Hanako: flicks lighter

Which of your fellow cast members would make the best Step-Dad?
Asked by Sharp-O on October 27th, 2024.

Jigoro: Me! Er, I mean... ARF!

Lilly: Niji, you came back!

Shizune: takes pictures

Hanako: Mr. Satou and Mr. Nakai have been nothing but kind to me, though the latter is more my in-law than stepfather.

Hisao: That's the sweetest thing you've said in any of these.

Hanako: I have my moments.

Miki: Suzu's dad called me her mate. I thought it was hilarious.

Lazard: cries in incel

What are the cast members' plans for Halloween?
Asked by Oddball on October 31st, 2024.

Hanako: I'm going to suck the life out of Hisao.

Lilly: Oh, so you're dressing as a vampire, then?

Hanako: No, I wouldn't want to steal your usual look.

Miki: I'm coming for you, Peter Pan!

Suzu: Let it be known that I lost a bet. I wanted to be Supergirl.

Kenji, dressed in a sombrero and poncho: TRICK OR TREAT, FAGGOTS!

Shizune: happy ... noises

Misha: I refuse to translate that. As for me... puts on red hat

If the various cast members were to start a band with themself as the lead, what would they call it?
Asked by Oddball on November 4th, 2024.

Lilly: I would like to personally inspect all of the instruments of each member of my band.

Hanako: Um, OK? But what's the name of the band?

Lilly: Train Runner!

Hisao: Why am I still here?

Alright, time for a more "correct" answer:

Lilly: Train Runner.

Hanako: Squirtallica (that one's for you, Raz)

Hisao: The Heartbroken

Rika: I thought we agreed on Heartbreakers!

Emi: Prolapse Express

Misha: The Unrequited

Shizune: ...

Misha: I'm not saying that.

Rin: My Missing iPod

Kenji: Rage Against the Feminist

Katsuro: >Σ

Their teacher is late getting into class for period 1; what does the cast do?
Asked by Oddball on November 7th, 2024.

Miki: lights joint

Suzu: Nap time facedesks

Shizune: ...

Misha: Sigh "At least under Tojo, the teachers ran on time" ... How was I ever attracted to you?

Hanako: reads a sex manual with the cover of a math book

Hisao: internal monologue about how he's still sore from last night's ungodly carnal exercises

Emi: I wonder how many laps I can do until Coach arrives!

Lilly: Calls the principal to inform her of the tardiness

Rin: Oh shit, I have normal classes?!

Mutou (in 2237 for some reason): Where the fuck is my TARDIS?!?!

A friend of the cast member invites them over to spend the weekend at their home (away from Yamaku). What do they bring with them?
Asked by Oddball on November 8th, 2024.

Hanako: I can't answer this question without spoiling Consolidation.

Hisao: What's Consolidation? And uh..., clothes I guess?

Lilly: Enough of that. Also, we had to force you to buy a change of shirt in Hokkaido, what are you on about? As for myself, I will bring condoms, lubricant, and a noise amplifier so that my moaning can be heard through the walls.

Suzu: Costumes!

Miki: Pot.

Suzu: Costumes and pot!

Shizune: ...

Misha: You are NOT bringing a sex dungeon into my house!

Emi: A Taser. Have you met Rin's parents?

Rin: A Taser. Have you met Emi's mom?

Kenji: Bitch-B-Gone spray!

Lezard: Roofies.

Non-meta answer:

Hanako: A baby.

Hisao: Fucking WHAT?!

Lilly: Goddamn it, I told you to make sure he wrapped it, Hanako!

Kenji: Congrats, man! It's a boy! Please, please, please be a boy!

If you could add a KS character as DLC for any videogame, what would it be?
Asked by Oddball on November 9th, 2024.

Hanako: I'm not much of a gamer, but I guess the Sims? It'd be nice to... you know.

Hisao: We don't need a game for that, we can make it a reality, Hana.

Lilly: My my! How bold of you, Hisao! I shall prepare a dinner rich in oysters and truffles!

Akira: Shoryuken!

Miki: Payday 2! I'm gonna make bank!

Suzu: No. You belong in Spider-Man. Ooh, no, Batman. Yeeaaaah.

Shizune: ...

Misha: "God of War." Really? I expected her to say Hearts of Iron.

Kenji: Well duh, she's already the God of Bitches.

Lezard: RapeLay.

Mutou: Majora's Mask.

Rika: Is it because of the-

Mutou: Yes.

Saki: Wii Music?

Through a series of Nakai-esque coincidence and bad luck; Hisao's stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... Who's going to be his only guide on this journey?
Asked by Sharp-O on November 10th, 2024.

Hanako: Geronimo! jumps in after her man

Lilly: Bring me back a quantum, triple-membered hunk, dear!

Emi: I don't care if it's physically impossible, I'm gonna run faster than this quantum doohickey!

Rin: What about Hisao?

Miki: Eh, he'll be fine. He's got a lovely girl to watch over him, which is more than Lezard can say.

Suzu: Zzzzzzzzzz.

Lezard: Reees in multi-dimensional inceldom

Mutou: Sigh I'll toss them an instruction manual.

Kenji: I FUCKING KNEW THE FEMINISTS HAD A CRAZY SCIENCE LAB! HISAO, DON'T LET THE QUANTUM STREAMS TOUCH YOUR NUTS!

Today we ask the characters ... "Why?"
Asked by Oddball on November 14th, 2024.

Hanako: I-I just w-wanted to see what it would feel like to be the one in control!

Hisao: Hana!

Lilly: Dear, that's not what he meant! ... But it sure was fun to listen to.

Hisao: What the fuck?!

Hanako: What the fuck?!

Lezard: Unspeakable horrors

Shizune: ...

Misha: Trust me, you're better off deaf right now.

Miki: Because she uses her blueberry shampoo on her carpet, too.

Suzu: goes into narcoleptic shock

Emi: I thought it would be easier if it was plastic and lubricated. It wasn't.

Rin: I like orange.

Kenji: Because pizza is fucking delicious.

Yuuko: Especially with sausage.

Mutou: Please be specific next time, because even my brain is about to overload after this nightmare of a Q&A.

Nomiya: Because she's underage.

Where do you go to be alone?
Asked by Oddball on November 15th, 2024.

Hanako: My room when I really need to be alone, the library when company is optional. The room of a certain messy-haired boy when we want to be "alone".

Hisao: Usually my big, empty head. I can write entire doctoral theses on my state of mind when I'm alone in there.

Lilly: I'm always alone. I fill the void in my heart with drink and sex, a very self-destructive tendency that I'm aware of but don't even care anymore to correct. Please, help me.

Shizune: Jwesush Chryste!

Misha: Holy sh... Erm, uh... We're here for you, Lilly... Truce?

Rin: I'll be your lonely friend.

Lezard: Can I like, fuck the sad out of you?

Miki: See? This is why you deserve to be alone.

Well, that was darker than my usual shit. Time for the fun, sex-crazed answer.

Hanako: Hisao's room so that a certain someone doesn't overhear us!

Lilly: It's not my fault Hisao is so good at making you scream, dear.

Hisao: I... Thank you?

Miki: The shower.

Suzu: My bed is more comfortable, and you know it.

Misha: The shed behind the track.

Shizune: ...?

Emi: Wouldn't you like to know, Madame Buzzkill.

Lezard: My cum cave.

Kenji: Dude, what the fuck?! Do people really think I'm on the same level as this guy?

Rin: Yellow is kinda lonely.

Mutou: I wish we had a teacher's lounge.

What's the best victory you've ever had over somebody?
Asked by Oddball on November 17th, 2024.

Hanako: I won Hisao's heart. Considering that I beat 4 other girls, well, 5 if you count Iwanako, I'd say I deserve to call that a victory.

Hisao: As you should, dear.

Hanako: Only you get to call me that.

Lilly: I've won a total of 253 victories against my cousin. And counting!

Shizune: ...!

Misha: Ew... "Last night I handled twenty, bitch. That means you're 4 points behind!" I'm so sorry, Lilly, it's her, not me!

Emi: I don't mean to sound arrogant but... c'mon, man.

Miki: I beat Lezard in a game of romantic courtship. Oh, gross, I can't believe I used Hisao words...

Naomi: It suits you! Wanna join the Newspaper Club?

Natsume: Not everyone who uses two consecutive two-syllable words is a journalist, Naomi...

Suzu: I won a game of Battleship.

Rin: Hehe, green is my bitch. I won.

Kenji: I defeated the feminist conspiracy! But... they regrouped.

Iwanako: I won the "Most Forgettable Girl of 2007 Award"... yaaaaay...

Lezard: I CAN FIX THAT!

Iwanako: Gross!

Hanako: I'll be your friend, Iwanako. Hehe, 'Nako and 'Nako.

Rika: I beat Saki at every arcade fighting game in existence. Like, literally every single one in existence.

Saki: Is it really a victory if your opponent has no idea how to play? Would it be fair if I beat you at violin?

Rika: I dunno, is there a violin controller for Rock Band?

Mutou: The Daleks. This school is my retirement.

Razoredge: Is it really a victory to beat someone who's clumsy in life? ‘Cause that's what Saki's disability does to her.

Saki: I'll show you clumsy. En garde! Draws her fucking cane.

Lilly: Put it away, dear, Raz is just having fun.

Razoredge: I have katanas at home, I'm winning this.

Mr. Enomoto: Flimsy, 300-year-old metal is no match for the finest materials my daughter's cane is made of!

Jigoro: Flimsy?! How dare you! I demand you face me at once!

Hiroyuki: Karla, quick, get some popcorn!

If you could make a new holiday, what would it be? How would it be celebrated?
Asked by Oddball on November 19th, 2024.

Hanako: I'm... completely stumped. I guess... Book Day? Reading?

Hisao: Science Day! Science Book Day!

Mutou: smiles as this is the only thing that has made him happy in a week

Rika: Oh, real smooth, Mr. Romantic.

Misha: It's "Master of Romance"! Read the shirt!

Lilly: Mmmm, Clitoral Liberation Day, celebrated via public relations.

Lezard: Yay, me first!

Miki: castration kick

Shizune: smug ...

Misha: You sick fuck!

What is each of the cast members favorite T-shirts?
Asked by Oddball on November 20th, 2024.

Hanako: Hisao's. It feels all snuggly.

Hisao: Despite the nuke of laughter it caused Misha, the shirt I got in Hokkaido is pretty neat. Thanks, you two.

Lilly: You're very welcome.

Shizune: rolls eyes and ...

Misha: Emi's gym shirt. It's so perfectly fitting. Oh, and I'm not translating that.

Emi: He meant that you own, silly.

Rin: Why are they called T-shirts when they're not completely shaped like T's?

Emi: That's... uh...

Rika: poses in her Alphaville T-shirt Heaven can wait, we're only watching the sky!~ Ooh, or maybe my Tekken one! Damn...

Saki: I'm not sure I've ever owned one, actually...

Jigoro: T-shirts are for-

Hideki: Father, no.

Hiroyuki: I suddenly really like T-shirts.

What's one lie that the cast members have told people about themselves?
Asked by Oddball on November 21st, 2024.

Kenji: I told everyone else in the dorm that the noises coming from Hisao's room were because he was listening to my CD too loud.

Hanako: Seriously, thanks for that one, Kenji.

Hisao: Consider our pizza debt settled.

Lilly: You know what's coming, I'd hate to become stale.

Rin: I am perfectly capable of speaking in complete and comprehensive sentences.

Emi: I never said with who I had experience, so technically that's lying by omission.

Misha: Babe, everyone knows.

Miki: I didn't!

Suzu: Stumpfist's greatest weakness is the inability to pay attention.

Lezard: "I love you".

Shizune: ...

Misha: "I respect everyone and consider us all equals." Yup...

Rika: I told Hisao we're the same, him and I. Speaking from a purely technical standpoint, I lied.

Saki: That's really not a lie as much as it is semantics.

Miyagi: That's not what semantics means, Enomoto.

Rika: And everyone in this school has lied saying they like you...

Principal: I have convinced everyone that I'm a retired luchadora. Really, I just like the cool masks.

Mutou: I'm a science teacher.

Jigoro: I have two daughters.

Hiroyuki: How unintentionally sweet of you.

Mayoi: He has his moments.

What place did you always mean to go to, but it closed down before you could?
Asked by Oddball on November 23rd, 2024.

Hanako: Hmm... never did get a chance to visit an American Barnes & Noble.

Hisao: Damn, way to hit me right in the soul.

Lilly: There are other book stores available, dears.

H&H: IT'S NOT THE SAME!

Rin: The Alexandria Library. It had pretty statues. What? I can like history, too.

Emi: Have you seen some of the sports stadiums built in old Soviet countries? Damn...

Shizune: ...

Misha: Uuuggghhh... "the Führerbunker". Just dropping all pretenses, are we?

Lezard: Every girls' between-her-legs.

Miki: Alright, that's it! Where're my dad's power tools?!

Suzu, in a deadpan tone: Stop, don't, come back.

Saki: Huh, well, I guess that pool in Chernobyl was pretty nice.

Iwanako Daidouji: The Jaws ride in Universal. I hate my life.

Rika: Boy, do I have good news for you!

Iwanako Daidouji: Kill yourself, Ghost Face.

Iwanako Hara: Why is other me such an insufferable bitch?! Screw this, I'm gonna listen to my iPod.

Mutou: How is it that the depressed timeline-hopper is the only one who answered the question correctly?!

Nomiya: Epstein Island.

Jigoro: I concur with my daughter's assessment!

Hiroyuki: Traitor.

Mr. Enomoto: Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I despise post-war architecture. This school is a mere exception.

Why do fools fall in love?
Asked by Oddball on November 25th, 2024.

Hanako: It was middle school and I desperately wanted acceptance!

Hisao: That doesn't make you a fool, dear.

Lilly: The fool is he who falls in love with the unobtainable. Like me!

Rin: Are you the unobtainable or are you the fool?

Emi: ... Goddamn... writes that one down

Shizune: ...

Misha: "Because they think love is real." I'm so glad I have Emi now; I still can't believe I ever loved you.

Rika: Because I used the cheat code. And... maybe some oysters...

Saki: Which you still need to pay me back!

Rika: I'm gonnaaaaa!

Iwanako Daidouji: 3-paragraph internal monologue about how love is bullshit and muh heart attack and I used to be a bully...

Iwanako Hara: Oh, God, I can hear the whole thing...

Kenji: Man, don't judge me! She does this thing man, it just... grips.

Yuuko: Whyyyyy would you say that out loud?!

Miki: AAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!

Suzu: Wakes up What'd I miss?

Lezard: Because females are stupid and believe anything I say.

Mutou: Describes the entire process of how our brains produce chemicals that cause the feeling of love

Jigoro: What is "love"?

Karla: Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me~

Hiroyuki: What I feel toward my wife every moment of the day.

Akira: Heeuuugh...

The cast members are taking their date out to dinner and really want to impress them. Where do they go?
Asked by Oddball on November 27th, 2024.

Hanako: A secret spot of mine behind the school, just beyond the woods. Still, wherever we go, I'm just happy to have him by my side.

Hisao: Thanks to Mutou's help, I now have a functioning time machine that I can use to take Hanako to all famous ancient libraries!

Lilly: It's a very sweet gesture, but... they'd all be in Greek, dear.

Hanako: It's the thought that counts! We'll take Naomi with us!

Naomi: What the-?! I ain't no goddamn translation wizard!

Suzu: Yes, you are. You know 27 languages.

Natsume: That's the computer!

Miki: Psh, just to Okinawa, I guess. Show him or her my mad swinging skills!

Lezard: You do chicks, too?! Can I watch?!

Akio: Yo, it's my turn to castrate Lezard!

Emi: The shed for boys, the art room for girls.

Rin: I KNEW MY WORK STATION SMELLED WEIRD!

Misha: Wahaha~! Sorry, but Emi is really good with her-

Shizune: SHTWAP, FAWKING SHTWAP!! Ahem ...

Misha: Naturally... "My dungeon with the whips and chains, then the one with the rope."

Rika: The arcade!

Saki: Hm... I'm drawing blanks, here.

Iwanako Daidouji: Dating is a miserable experience and love is dead.

Iwanako Hara: plays Journey in her ears to drown out her other self's bitching

Mutou: Paris in the 1890s.

Nomiya: Epstein Island.

Akira: Jazz club, baby!

Karla & Hiroyuki: No comment.

Mr. Enomoto: What is a 'date'?

Jigoro: The dojo to learn proper sword play!

Mayoi: That means two things.

After a particularly hard week, what do the cast members do to let off steam and relax over the weekend?
Asked by Oddball on November 29th, 2024.

Hanako: It says in this article that a man can ejaculate about 50 times in a day before it gets dangerous. As a man of science, you should be eager to test that theory.

Hisao: I'm not entirely sure that's healthy... also, I don't remember ever reading that article.

Lilly: And I don't remember her asking. Hanako, I have the rope you requested.

Hanako: Perfect~ As promised, you can listen.

Shizune: Too shocked to even ...

Misha: Hmmm, now I wonder if that's possible the other way around~!

Emi: Challenge accepted!

Rin: I want to watch just so that I can paint something cool later. And use it for something else afterward.

Kenji: Destroy Dick December! I will not let myself get feminist NNN cancer!

Yuuko: Kenji, there is literally no more room in my body for you to nut in!

Lezard: Then it goes on the tits! Fucking logic!

Miki: I can't actually fault him for that one, it makes too much sense.

Suzu: Stumpfist, you gotta find out why everyone is acting weird today!

Rika: Did we miss something?

Saki: Apart from being canon? Naaah man... there's like three of me and shit... or was it four?

Iwanako Hara: Are you fucking high?!

Iwanako Daidouji: No amount of drugs will make the pain go away, but I still want to try.

Iwanako Hara: Not you, you sordid pain in my ass!

Mutou: Why is everyone so horny?! What the hell was in yesterday's turkey?!

Nomiya: Ecstasy. I made sure of it.

Taro: I knew someone tampered with my seasoning! Oh, shit...

Hiroyuki: And this is why I suggested we bring our own food!

Karla: Quiet yer fokin yapping and put that mouth to good use!

Jigoro: Finally, I win.

Mr. Enomoto: At what cost?

Mayoi: Witnessing this spectacle is more a reward than a cost, I'd say.

Akira: Well, I guess Thanksgiving week is pretty tiring... chugs wine. Post-dinner weekend sex it is.

Today Naomi and Natsume in full newspaper reporter mode come up and ask the cast members “How long has this been going on?”
Asked by Oddball on November 30th, 2024.

Hanako: counts on her fingers Two months? Yeah, two months.

Lilly: Yes, but the fun stuff began two nights ago!

Hisao: Lilly!

Hanako: I fucking knew you were listening in!

Shizune: ...?

Misha: [Nothing, Shicchan.] As for me, if you count the art room, it was like... what, a month ago? I think?

Emi: Something like that, yeah, a month.

Rin: You two have terrible memory. It's been exactly 35 days, 4 hours, and 27 minutes. I can tell by the smell on my ruined canvas!

Emi: I said I was sorry, geez!

Nomiya: Don't apologize! The smell only enhances the beauty of the piece.

Nurse: I cannot believe you passed the background checks.

The Principal: Background checks?

Miki: Your obsession with other people's love life is pissing me off. I thought you were a newspaper, not a fucking tabloid.

Suzu: Freedom of the press is an essential liberty, Stumpfist. Superman understands this.

Lezard: The press is the enemy of the people.

Keji: It's been going on forever, man! Ever since women could vote, man, the WEF and the Democrats have been destroying masculinity! They put chemicals in the water after Fukushima and turn Godzilla into a woman!

Yuuko: Kenji, we're in Japan and it's 2007, nobody knows what any of that is yet.

Mutou: hides TARDIS Shhhhh!!!!! Say it louder, why don't you!?

Rika: cough I started yesterday, but I am so quitting.

Saki: Me, too. Blergh.

Iwanako Daidouji: Pussies. takes drag

Iwanako Hara: Cunt. Oh, God, I'm becoming you...

Jigoro: I am so glad my contributions to this school are being used for this garbage.

Hiroyuki: Your contributions? You mean our contributions. Just because the check says "Mayoi Hakamichi" does not mean it's your money.

Karla: pops bottle open Here we go...

Mayoi: Fill me up, sister...

Mr. Enomoto: Goodie, it's my turn to get the popcorn!

Naomi: Y'all are fucking dumb, you know that?

Natsume: All we wanted to know was since when does Hanako do her hair in a ponytail and why!

If you could add a KS character to any existing game as DLC, what game and what character?
Asked by Oddball on December 1st, 2024. (Question is repeated but has a different answer.)

Hanako: This may seem odd, but I'd like to go to Minecraft. Someone made a library and named it after me.

Hisao: Oh, that sounds nice! I'd love to be added into FIFA, relive the soccer days.

Lilly: Hmhmhm. There are so many sex clubs in Second Life, I would not know where to start! There's even futanari girls!

Misha: NANI?!?!!?!? I wanna go, too!

Shizune: ...

Misha: You are NOT going to replace Hitler in Hearts of Iron IV!

Emi: Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games! I'd win.

Rin: Flipnotes. That's a game, fuck you. I could be so many versions of me.

Suzu: Goat Simulator. Don't know why, I just wanna be random.

Lezard: Leisure Suit Larry. Preferably as an alternate protagonist.

Miki: And that's the only pussy you're ever gonna get. As for me, I'd love to be added into Arkham.

Suzu: Really?!

Miki: Yup, just for you.

Kenji: Microsoft Flight Simulator. Gonna crash the Kenjibus 777 into the feminist headquarters in Davos!

Iwanako Daidouji: Depression simulator. Oh wait, that's just my life...

Iwanako Hara: Can't hear you, getting added into Rock Band! Or Guitar Hero! Or both!

Rika: Hell yeah, dude! Street Fighter for me, ooooooh, or Mortal Kombat!

Saki: I'm going to stick with Wii Music.

Mutou: I want to be added into a game called Katawa Shoujo.

Nomiya: What's that about?

Jigoro: Hot, disabled girls.

Hiroyuki: What...

Karla: ... the fuck?!

Mr. Enomoto: Fair enough, but it's really good.

Mayoi: You five didn't answer the question. I'd be added into one of those fashion designer puzzle mobile games you see in ads all the time. I'd become rich just off of the YouTube revenue. Oh wait, I already am!

Santa's fallen off the roof you know which one - which of you will take his jacket to fulfil the Santa Clause?
Asked by Sharp-O on December 3rd, 2024.

Hanako: dresses up as Santa Time to give you your present, Hisao~

Hisao: Oh God, thank you for this wonderful, wonderful day.

Emi: Hana, the idea is to-

Misha: Shhhh! Let her be!

Lilly: Mmmm, indeed, I wish to hear~

Shizune: .... ...! Mweesha!

Miki: I got it. Karate chops Lezard who was going to illegally record

Suzu: Ten points!

Iwanako Daidouji: Do you have to do that shit in front of me?

Iwanako Hara: At least get a room, guys!

Rika: The dungeon master would like to communicate his apology for this short and disorganized answer.

Mutou: He is currently on his phone and at lunch break.

What is the cat members favorite kind of weather and temperature outside? Do they like warm summer days? Rainy days? Snow? Those Brisk fall days where it's just long sleeve weather but not yet cold enough for jackets? What?
Asked by Oddball on December 4th, 2024.

Hanako: Winter is nice, I think. The heavy clothes make me feel a bit more secure, if that makes sense.

Hisao: Yeah... But it does make me miss your summer dress.

Hanako: You don't miss it the nights where you have to keep me warm~

Lilly: Oh my~! Well, Akira says that summer is the perfect weather for loose and/or light clothing, so that.

Shizune: ...

Misha: "Summer because it is the perfect time to invade Russia." [Didn't your role model fail despite that?]

Shizune: ...!

Misha: I'm not saying that. I like autumn because of the changing leaves.

Rin: I like the orange month, too.

Emi: Spring! You can burn off all the months you spent hunkering down for the winter!

Suzu: Crime must be fought in all seasons.

Miki: Summer because the weather reminds me of Okinawa.

Rika: Winter because 1) vacations, 2) free shit, and 3) I like to blend into the snow and see how long it takes people to find me.

Saki: We're Japanese, we don't get free shit. We get fried chicken for some crazy reason. (This is real, look it up.)

Lezard: Summer because all the females are in revealing clothing and I get to take pictures!

Taro: My turn? OK. Castrates Lezard with his super hammer fist

Suzu & Rika: Fatality!

Kenji: What are seasons?

Mutou: ... You serious?

The Principal: Whenever the wrestling season starts. (I don't fucking know, I ain't Mexican.)

Jigoro: There is business to be done in all seasons!

Hiroyuki: Agreed.

Mr. Enomoto: Agreed.

Karla: Damn, so no popcorn this time?

The cast members have encountered a ghost at school! What do they do next? Do they tell someone? Keep it secret? Investigate? Pack their bags and leave?
Asked by Oddball on December 5th, 2024.

Hanako: I'd pray for them to find peace. Yes, I believe.

Lilly: As do I, so my answer is the same.

Hisao: I'm pretty sure you two believe pretty different, though.

Shizune: ...

Misha: "It better pay the tuition fee if it's going to stay here." This place costs money?!

Emi: Pfft, that's silly, there's no such thing as ghosts.

Rika: Hi, Emi.

Emi: AAAH!!!

Rin: Heh. Funny. You're a funny ghost, Rika.

Naomi and Natsume: Nice! Paranormal activity research time!

Kenji: Who you gonna call?! Is carrying a fucking vacuum cleaner while whistling the Luigi's Mansion theme

Suzu: I really don't want to participate in this one.

Miki: Same. Pass.

Lezard: Hypothetically speaking, if the ghost were female, could I be able to feel it's 'skin'?

Akio: Even the fucking dead wouldn't consent to be touched by you.

Iwanako Daidouji: Somehow, I imagine that ghost is happier than I am, even in death.

Iwanako Hara: I'm willing to bet 500 that's just Mai dicking around for fun. Still, I wonder if ghosts like rock music?

Saki: I heard once that supposedly, metal rods can harm a ghost. Unfortunately, I can't test this out with my wooden cane.

Jigoro: But I can!

Mayoi: Put that away before I have to write another check!

Hiroyuki: So that's where that money went!

Mr. Enomoto: This is ridiculous, that is clearly just a girl in a bedsheet!

Hideaki: Excuse you, I'm a boy!

Nomiya: tongue sprite

Mutou: That's it, I'm going back to England.

A classmate that the cast members don't know all that well asks them "What do you want for Christmas?" What do they say?
Asked by Oddball on December 8th, 2024.

Hanako: A strap-on. Not gonna lie, it's for pegging.

Hisao: Excuse me, what the fuck?! I was gonna get you some chocolate or something!

Hanako: Why would you get me chocolate? You should get some for your girlfriend.

Hisao: You are my girlfriend!

Hanako: Excuse you?! He's my boyfriend! Points at Akio

Akio: Wait, what?!

Hanako: Sorry I'm late, Iiiiowhatthefuuuuck?

Lilly: Is something wrong, dear?

Suzu: Holy shit! It's happening, it's fucking happening!

Shizune: ...?!

Misha: "How can there be two Hanachans?!" Hisao, what did you do?!

Hisao: I didn't do anything! Who are you and why do you look and sound exactly like Hanako?!

Hanako Hayashi: Because I am Hanako!

Mutou: Huh. Looks like the whole quantum shenanigans episode brought another one. You should return to your own timeline at random. Sooner or later.

Hisao: So now there's two of you? I knew I shouldn't have taken that left turn...

Hanako: I told you we should have followed Mutou's instructions, but noooooo, "science demands exploration", you said!

Iwanako Hara: You mean I have to just sit here and cross my fingers until I get back home?!

Iwanako Daidouji: Get used to it.

Akio: ... Did you say something about pegging?

Emi: Enough already! One Hana, two Hanas, three Hanas, just tell me what you want for Christmas!

Rin: Groovy. I want a funny hat so I can put it on the new Hanako.

Hanako Hayashi: I want to go home! I want to be with my boyfriend!

Hanako: Ahem All I want for Christmas is you~

Hisao: Aw, Hana...

Hanako Hayashi: ... OK, this is sweet to watch.

Naomi: I'm curious as to how you hooked up with Akio. I want that scoop for Christmas!

Natsume: Well, we have an Akio here, too. Technically speaking-

Lezard: It's not the same. She'd still be cheating on him.

Saki: The Hell?! When did you become normal?

Rika: It's still him, he's just read a lot of NTR mags.

Taro: How do you...?

Rika: I lent them to him. Speaking of which, I want some "special" mags for Christmas.

Emi: How the fuck am I supposed to-

Suzu: You're Santa. You can get anything. I want the new set of Cards Against Humanity.

Kenji: I want a Gundam!

Hisao: Why?

Kenji: To nuke the feminist bitches with!

Shizune: ...

Misha: "The entire set of 'tools' from 50 Shades of Grey." I want some lemon body lube. Hehehe.

Emi: Shiina! Not in front of people...

Nomiya: I want to watch!

Lezard: Me, too!

Akio: I want a pair of garden shears so I can castrate Lezard.

Hanako Hayashi: Pfft. Even across dimensions, you still make me laugh.

Hisao: This is getting out of hand... I just want things to make sense again...

Iwanako Daidouji: I wanna die.

Iwanako Hara: Santa Emi, I beg of you, please grant her that wish. My wish is to be free from her insufferable ass!

Saki: I'd like a clarinet. Don't know why, it just came to mind.

Jigoro: I want my son to stop being such a sissy and learn how to properly use a sword!

Hiroyuki: Who's he gonna learn from? You? Hahaha! I'd like to see that catastrophe unfold!

Karla: I'd like some more popcorn!

Mayoi: I'd like for my husband to get a haircut!

Mr. Enomoto: I'd like to abolish all laws that prevent me from buying certain property.

The Principal: The entire collection of masks from Mucha Lucha. I love that show.

Hanako: You know what? I'll settle for a bucket of chicken and Tylenol. My head's killing me.

Lilly: Hey, I didn't get to-

Emi: Dick, you want dick, I know. I'm gonna need a bigger sleigh.

Mutou: I'll let you borrow the TARDIS. And take the Hayashi girl with you.

Akio: "Girl"?

Hanako Hayashi: He means me, I think.

Mutou: Yes. Now go, this episode went on for way longer than it should have.

Do you believe in superstitions? If so, what do you have? If not, why do you think others do?
Asked by Oddball on December 9th, 2024.

Hanako: Yes, I believe. Shintoism.

Hisao: Really? Huh. I guess maybe a little? Not much? I don't think about it too much, never did.

Lilly: It's rather obvious, but I'm Catholic. Come now, Hisao, you never realized your dear lady was a believer?

Emi: Hisao is pretty dense, but he means well. You scored, Hanako. As for me, I go back and forth.

Rin: I wonder what color God likes for painting worlds? Or am I God for my art? Holy shit...

Shizune: ...

Misha: "God puts people like me on Earth to steer you all in the right direction." Yeah, more like off a bridge...

Kenji: Fuck yeah, man! Tateism!

Lezard: Kenji's talking sense!

Suzu: Gospel of the New Genesis.

Rika: That doesn't count!

Miki: Neeeerds! Anyway, I don't believe in any of that. To each his own, I guess.

Akio: My new religion is pegging... Holy fucking shit, that other Hanako was onto something...

Taro: Well, sorry to say you're out of luck. "Pegniko" was dropped off at her dimension.

Saki: Too bad we can't take Daidouji home, the address was deleted from the TARDIS database. Anyway, yes, but I don't focus too much on it.

Iwanako Daidouji: God has put me on this Earth to suffer for his amusement.

Iwanako Hara: Music is my religion. Raises volume Pour some sugar on meeee!~

Mutou: Oh, this will be fun. Ahem All women are queens! Ignites lightsaber

Nomiya, from across the school: If she breathes... she's a THOOOOT!!! AUUUGH!!! Smashes through the wall, lightsaber ignited

Jigoro: Disgraceful! Anyone who does not follow our traditional beliefs is a traitor to our country!

Hiroyuki: En garde, then, "pagan"!

Mr. Enomoto: About time I get to enjoy the popcorn.

Mayoi: Oh, no... We're talking about religion? Oh...

Karla: OI YA FOCKEN HEATHENS, THOUGH HATH AWOKEN MINE HIGHLANDER CRUSADER SPIRIT!!! IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPEERIT, AMEN!

What is the last piece of (non-junk) mail the cast members received?
Asked by Oddball on December 12th, 2024.

Hanako: Consolidation spoilers go brrrr.

Hisao: There's that name again, I still don't know what that is. Anyway, it was Iwanako's letter.

Lilly: That was your only mail, Hisao. I'm not quite certain that counts.

Shizune: ...

Misha: "At least Hisao can receive letters." Jesus Christ, Shizune, that was low, even for you.

Shizune: middle fingers

Lilly: You don't need to translate that; I heard the flick. And can smell it.

Emi: Gross!

Lezard: Hot!

Suzu: Try a fist next time. A stumpfist! Eh? Eehhh?!

Miki: rubs the bridge of her nose Who the fuck still gets letters in the mail?

Iwanako: Hey, come on! I just wanted to give him some closure. Plus, he replied in the same manner, so it's all good.

Iwanako Hara: You mean "I gave up and wanted to make myself feel better about it and am now coping."

Iwanako Daidouji: I'd just give up and not want to feel better about it.

Saki: Another letter of acknowledgement from some institution or another. At least it keeps my family happy.

Rika: The results of my last batch of tests. Spoilers: I'm still awesome.

Kenji: A letter from my mom and... wine?! What the fuck am I supposed to do with this gay-ass shit?!

Karla: Yoink!

Hiroyuki: Here, for the trouble casually drops 50,000 yen into Kenji's hand

Jigoro: Hah, what a poultry sum! Drops 50,001

Hideaki: It's paltry, father.

Mayoi: I'm so glad to see my hard-earned money being used for this.

Mr. Enomoto: The latest report from my private investigator on my daughter's activities and the background checks of her acquaintances.

Mutou: My check for my likeness royalties.

Nomiya: Another invitation to Epstein Island. I leave this afternoon.

Imagine you're palying the game from the girls' point of view. What choices would you have to make to get the good Hisao end? What about the bad?
Asked by Oddball on December 13th, 2024.

Hanako: According to the TARDIS, there’s a few altering paths I can view. Which would you like to know?

Hisao: Why not all?

Hanako: Well... one script says "Thank Hisao", another says "Rape Hisao", and a third says "Be fucking direct and tell him that you hate being coddled." Um... these are for the good endings.

Lilly: I... see. And for the bad?

Hanako: Uhhh... I can’t access one of them, for some reason. The second says “Just wait for Hisao to be a moron and tell him to fuck off”, and the last one says, "Get accosted and then go crazy, get raped, or jump in front of a train." Who wrote this?!

Lilly: Good Lord... Mine just says "lie and have sex." For... both? This can't be right...

Shizune: ...

Misha: "Literally do nothing, the choice is made for you." Wow. Um... "Make Hisao cheat on Shizune."

Shizune: ...?

Misha: You don't wanna know.

Emi: "Give a dumbass speech if Hisao is stupid" for the bad, "take it up the ass like a good girl" for the good. Fucking what?!

Rin: "Tell Hisao to fuck off if he pulls a Hisao" for the bad, "Go to college" for neutral, and... "Let him jerk you off" for the good?! I can't even do it myself, I'm not gonna let him do it!

Lezard: Then, can I do it?

Miki: For the life of me, I swear I was supposed to get one!

Suzu: Someone gave me a really cool one. Guess you'll have to wait for yours, Stumpfist.

Taro: Mine has "Hisao" scratched out and replaced with "Miki" for some reason.

Iwanako Daidouji: I had mine, but it suddenly combusted. Like... poof, and it burnt to ash. My life is miserable.

Iwanako Hara: Mine's really short, for some reason, as if it's not finished yet. Still, I'm digging it a lot.

Saki: "Help Hisao find his way around the school and then borrow him for some stuff." Huh, weird. There's no bad ending anywhere.

Rika: I have two, for some reason. One's incomplete, the other one's... kinda edgy.

Kenji: ... I'd rather not say.

Hiroyuki: How come he gets a script, and I don't?!

Jigoro: Hah! Sweet victory! "Insult your daughter's sex toy's fashion sense." ... Bittersweet victory...

Karla: almost chokes on popcorn from laughter

Mr. Enomoto: Perhaps I should have consulted an editor before publishing these...

Ignoring any issues with their disabilities, if the characters could change one thing about their appearance, what would it be? Would they like to be taller? Thinner? Have different hair? A different shaped face? What?
Asked by Oddball on December 14th, 2024.

Hanako: I've been thinking about getting a haircut. Nothing too radical, just a few inches shorter so I can style it differently.

Hisao: Oh? Style it into what?

Lilly: Hush, now, Hisao! A lady must have her secrets! As for myself, well, it's quite irrelevant, no?

Shizune: ...

Misha: I'm so sorry, Lilly... "Yes, nothing you do could stop you from looking like a whore."

Emi: ... next question. crosses her arms over her chest

Rin: Heh. I want to see a green-haired student. That would be funny.

Kenji: Whyyyy sooooooo ssssserioussssss????

Miki: The fuck? It's December, why are you dressed like that?

Suzu: He overslept. Again. I like me, I'm blue and cute.

Lezard: No, you're green-ish. I would give myself a bigger cock, a six-pack, and be taller. Then, all the females would want me.

Iwanako Daidouji: Dream on, you perverted freak. I already changed my look, check out my bleach streak.

Iwanako Hara: Holy crap, I agree with her, for once! On the former thing, at least. Girl, what did you do to our hair?!

Saki: Nah, I'm good.

Rika: I'm thinking of making my ponytail a bit thicker. I'd need to grow my hair out, though.

Mutou: I think it's high time for a new body. Maybe a woman, this time?

Nomiya: I'd like to be young again so that my escapades can be legal.

The Principal: I need to get in shape so I can compete in the ring! A la lucha libre!

Jigoro: I am the epitome of the perfect masculine image.

Hideaki: No comment.

Akira: An even stronger liver.

Hiroyuki: I'd like my hair to be black again. At least I'm not balding.

Mr. Enomoto: Go fuck yourself.

Karla and Mayoi: Boooooo, fight about something!

What movie do you wish had a sequel (or another sequel)?
Asked by Oddball on December 17th, 2024.

Hanako: 'The Squirtathon.'

Hisao: That... sounds like a porn flick.

Lilly: Unfortunately, it is not. It is actually a horror film. Hanako was watching it the other night, and the screaming was so loud that I genuinely feared for her safety.

Hisao: eyes widen in realization Ohhhhhh...

Shizune: ...

Misha: 'The Turner Diaries' is not a movie, Shicchan. Thankfully for me, since I mostly consume American media, all the movies I like are guaranteed to get sequels!

Iwanako Daidouji: Wait, you like movies, too? Cool! We gotta chat sometime.

Iwanako Hara: Oh my God, are you... actually making a friend?! IT'S A MIRACLE!

Rin: Scooby-Doo.

Emi: Which one?

Rin: Yes.

Kenji: Movies are feminist propaganda!

Suzu: Joker.

Miki: But that movie already-

Rika: No, it doesn't.

Saki: I really should get into movies; my father always said they were a 'frivolous waste of time'.

Mr. Enomoto: No, I said modern movies are a frivolous waste of time! What happened to the classics, like Kurosawa's films?

Jigoro: I agree with the man! Kurosawa was an artistic genius, unlike the glue-huffers that pass for artists these days!

Hiroyuki: Amazing. For once, the three of us agree on something. Perhaps we should all enjoy a good classic in my home theater. With popcorn, naturally!

Karla: Noooo, I don't get any entertainment today!

Mayoi: Let the boys have their fun for once, Karla. Things will be back to normal by the week's end, I'm sure.

Mutou: Interstellar, but hopefully without the whole 'quantifiable love' nonsense.

Nomiya: A Serbian Film. Specifically, one scene in particular.

The Principal: Fight Club! Preferably a bootleg Mexican version with luchadores!

What do you think everyone should experience at least once?
Asked by Oddball on December 19th, 2024.

Hanako: A good creampie.

Hisao: You mean the dessert, right?

Lilly: I concur! Hell, I'll take two, at once!

Hisao: ... You mean the dessert, right?!

Emi: Anal.

Rin: Lame, that one is too easy and boring, Mr. Writer Man.

Shizune: ...

Misha: Stop trying to get me thrown in jail, Shizune! Anyway, you gotta try a deep-fried Oreo Twinkie covered in caramel at least once!

Rika: Jesus Christ, that'll fucking kill you faster than anything else could!

Saki: ... Could it?

Iwanako Daidouji: Suicide.

Iwanako Hara: Having an edgy, alternate version of yourself whose thoughts you can hear. It's the only way you'll understand why I'm so desperate to get rid of her!

Lezard: Ra-

Miki: bashes his head in with a baseball bat

Suzu: Phone sex and Stumpfisting.

Taro: spit-takes

Hanako Hayashi: Hi ho! I'm back to visit! What are we doing today?

Akio: Getting pegged! covers mouth immediately

Hanako Hayashi: Ah. Neat. writes that down for possible future use

Akio: H-hey, uh, Hanako...

Hanako Hayashi: Still not fucking you, I'm a loyal girl.

Akio: Oh, come on! It's literally me!

Kenji: It really isn't, man. Quit trying to be a homewrecker.

Mutou: Pedagogy, everyone should try it.

Nomiya: With nipple clamps!

Mutou: ... Statement withdrawn.

The Principal: A la Lucha Libre! jumps off a desk and smashes into something

Jigoro: Beating your kids! These glue-huffers are insufferable because their parents are failures!

Hiroyuki: Ah yes, such role model children you have; a prospect dictator and an emotionally-stunted prepubescent who is unaware of proper dressing etiquette.

Mr. Enomoto: And yours are any better? An insubordinate drunk and a barely legal whore!

Karla: tosses popcorn aside OI YA FOCKEN PIECE OF SHITE, NOBODY TALKS ABOUT MAH BABIES THAT WAY!! draws Hiroyuki's sword

Hiroyuki: Run. draws Karla's bagpipes

Mayoi: catches popcorn 'Bout time I got an exclusive show.