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I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2024 6:13 pm
by StupidTom

(This post is a follow-up to my previous one)
I finished reading Katawa Shoujo a week ago now, and I'm still massively in the feels for it. Just thinking back on this VN while typing is making me tear up...
I got all of the good endings, and almost all of them utterly destroyed me. I'm completely shook to the core by my experience and I need to pour my heart out, scream my feelings into the void of the internet. This may sound like hyperbole, but I've been genuinely moved by this game in a way I've never experienced before.
My adventure started with Katawa Shoujo's release on Steam. I've heard of this game a few years ago as a "wholesome dating sim with disabled girls". I wrote it off as a weird fetish game. I WAS SO WRONG! I never expected this VN to be the most bittersweet experience of my life.
Every route made me feel such an indescribable mix of emotions, I'm going to try to put them each into words :

I got Emi's route first. At first, Emi was the girl I was the least interested in, she just wasn't my type. When I realized I was locked on her route I actually considered restarting to get Shizune's route, who seemed more like my type to be honest.
Oh boy I'm so glad I didn't do that.
Emi's story made me feel things I would've never imagined a work of fiction could be able to. Its main themes spoke to me on a personal level, DEEPLY. Pushing others away as a coping mechanism is something I've been struggling with myself, and seeing a very realistic depiction of such an act almost ruining a relationship made me think a lot. When Emi and Hisao had arguments I felt every single word that was said. Feeling so genuinely attached to the both of them. During the scene in the kitchen at Emi's house, I felt far too involved in the argument. When Hisao brought up her dad, I knew how bad what he said was. I genuinely had to get up and punch my pillow. I was MAD at him, mad for making Emi break down, mad for being so foolish. I cried so, so much... I still don't really understand how I could get so involved in a fictional story...
Emi became my #1 girl after this route, despite giving a negative first impression on me. I never understood people who claim to be genuinely in love with fictional characters before, yet it just happened to me with Emi. I can't use any other word to describe my feelings towards her, I love her.

Then, I got Hanako's route. I actually don't have a lot to say about that one. It may be because I played it too soon after the soul-destroying story I just experienced, or it could also be because the themes simply didn't speak to me as much. Nevertheless, it was still a very emotional story, and it subverted my expectations for a dating sim. Seeing a dating sim protagonist reject the idea of taking advantage of a vulnerable girl was something I really didn't expect.

Shizune's route was my third. I heard it was pretty bad and I agree. It's far too long and doesn't have interesting themes or drama. Her family members are also some of my least favorite characters, so that didn't help. It's really disappointing that the girl whom I was most interested in at first ended up having the worst route.

Rin's route was a really unique experience. The story wasn't all that interesting to me but her struggles were really special. Her (implied) autism made for a somewhat frustrating story, yet it also was executed very well. Her ending however, is what made change my opinion on this route. When I read the final line, I went from neutral to absolutely bawling my eyes out in the span of 3 seconds. I'm not kidding, I spent about 20 minutes straight crying while staring at the title screen, thinking about this line. I don't know what exactly hit me so hard, it could be the whole route, the buildup, the line, but it hit deep within me anyway.

Lilly's route was my final one. I loved it all the way through. My only complaint is that the bittersweetness only hit until well into Act 4. Her relationship with Hisao felt vey natural, yet also a bit too perfect. That final Act really came in to make it hurt. During the entierety of this Act, I felt EVERYTHING Hisao was feeling. My heart was genuinely racing when things were getting tense. I cried a ton multiple times there.

When I finished this route, it suddenly hit me : I finished Katawa Shoujo. It felt surreal. And tears just came flowing.
Now I'm afraid to start any other story. I feel like nothing could come close to this. It also feels terrible that I now have to leave all those characters behind. I might go read some fanfictions after typing this...

Thank you, Katawa Shoujo. Thank you, Four Leaf Studios. Thank you, everyone who contributed to this game's success.


Re: I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2024 1:44 pm
by everlasting_true

I have no clue how you managed to get yourself together and try the other routes after your first one, but if it's what you truly wanted, all the better. since the love of my life is lilly and that's whose route I ever completed, you and I may not fully relate, but I know one thing that's in common between us and that's the tears and the suffering. if I knew how to help you, I would gladly do that, but trust me – I've been in pain for thirteen days now since I completed lilly's route. I know what you're going through, many other people do too. this hole in your heart you suddenly feel once you've beaten the game is impossible to ignore and you keep reaching out to people everywhere just to find a modicum of compassion. katashou really is a captivating and stunning visual novel that eviscerates you emotionally and throws you out on the curb.
when I read your post and realized that you were actually crying as you were typing this, it felt like someone was squeezing my heart and wringing it harshly. I don't know what to tell you, I have no idea how to deal with the pain katashou causes you. maybe you've calmed down since then and I can only hope you're channeling your strong emotions into creativity and happiness, but still I want you to know that I'm always here and I've already sent you a friend request because no one deserves to be bailed on when suffering as bad as katashou makes you suffer


Re: I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2024 2:58 pm
by StupidTom
everlasting_true wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2024 1:44 pm

I have no clue how you managed to get yourself together and try the other routes after your first one, but if it's what you truly wanted, all the better. since the love of my life is lilly and that's whose route I ever completed

Yeah honestly I'm surprised too, but I guess it took me 2 routes to get back into a proper mood to get in the feels again. I highly recommend you play the other routes too btw! Just take your time until you feel better...

everlasting_true wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2024 1:44 pm

when I read your post and realized that you were actually crying as you were typing this, it felt like someone was squeezing my heart and wringing it harshly. I don't know what to tell you, I have no idea how to deal with the pain katashou causes you.

That's surprising to hear someone be so caring online. I'm always surprised by how nice people are in this community. You guys are awesome!


Re: I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2024 6:34 pm
by Mr. Cobra
StupidTom wrote: Wed Sep 11, 2024 6:13 pm

Shizune's route was my third. I heard it was pretty bad and I agree.

My first ending was the manly picnic with Kenji, but the first route I actually did proper was Shizune. I loved her first 2 acts, but act 3 was meh and I had a lot of problems with her act 4 (there is some good though). This set a low bar and I was pleasantly surprised by how good the other routes I've done so far have been.

StupidTom wrote: Wed Sep 11, 2024 6:13 pm

t's really disappointing that the girl whom I was most interested in at first ended up having the worst route.

feels bad man...


Re: I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2024 1:17 am
by Panetonys

Same boat here, finished Hanako's route (my last) two days ago, and also started playing a few days after the Steam release. Played the routes in almost the same order (just swap Lilly and Hanako) and all of them hit them feels, some more than others, but that's only natural.

StupidTom wrote: Wed Sep 11, 2024 6:13 pm

I never expected this VN to be the most bittersweet experience of my life. Every route made me feel such an indescribable mix of emotions

This was my first VN and I admit that I was drawn in by the odd premise (dating disabled girls) and the promise of H-scenes, but I can safely say that Katawa Shoujo is the best example in my life of that saying: "I came looking for copper and found gold", because oh boy the feels were very real.

I'm specially grateful for only playing KS now, because last year I was diagnosed with a chronic disease and treatment has had its fair share of hardships, so many of Hisao's troubles and depressing musings (everyone else's actually) were MUCH more relatable. It's thankfully nothing life-threatening like Arrythmia, but it has absolutely changed my life, so past me wouldn't have been hit even remotely in the same way as present day me.

Lilly's route was my favorite, but I enjoyed them all. If I had to pick a least favorite it would be Shizune, but Rin's was the one that initially left me with the most bitter taste (more specifically Act 4). The day after finishing it I decided the re-read from the end of Act 3 onwards and trying to view it from a different perspective, of Rin's mind working in a REALLY different way, I changed my mind on her route's ending, for the better. Right now I'm gathering the courage necessary to play Hanako's neutral and bad ending, to get 100% completion.

Thank your Four Leaf Studios, I'll never forget Katawa Shoujo.


Re: I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I am a changed person now.

Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2024 1:25 pm
by nl4real

Glad the game gave you an emotional connection. Played after seeing Chilled Chaos' LP waaay back in the day, and it's honestly just wonderful.