(This post is a follow-up to my previous one)
I finished reading Katawa Shoujo a week ago now, and I'm still massively in the feels for it. Just thinking back on this VN while typing is making me tear up...
I got all of the good endings, and almost all of them utterly destroyed me. I'm completely shook to the core by my experience and I need to pour my heart out, scream my feelings into the void of the internet. This may sound like hyperbole, but I've been genuinely moved by this game in a way I've never experienced before.
My adventure started with Katawa Shoujo's release on Steam. I've heard of this game a few years ago as a "wholesome dating sim with disabled girls". I wrote it off as a weird fetish game. I WAS SO WRONG! I never expected this VN to be the most bittersweet experience of my life.
Every route made me feel such an indescribable mix of emotions, I'm going to try to put them each into words :
I got Emi's route first. At first, Emi was the girl I was the least interested in, she just wasn't my type. When I realized I was locked on her route I actually considered restarting to get Shizune's route, who seemed more like my type to be honest.
Oh boy I'm so glad I didn't do that.
Emi's story made me feel things I would've never imagined a work of fiction could be able to. Its main themes spoke to me on a personal level, DEEPLY. Pushing others away as a coping mechanism is something I've been struggling with myself, and seeing a very realistic depiction of such an act almost ruining a relationship made me think a lot. When Emi and Hisao had arguments I felt every single word that was said. Feeling so genuinely attached to the both of them. During the scene in the kitchen at Emi's house, I felt far too involved in the argument. When Hisao brought up her dad, I knew how bad what he said was. I genuinely had to get up and punch my pillow. I was MAD at him, mad for making Emi break down, mad for being so foolish. I cried so, so much... I still don't really understand how I could get so involved in a fictional story...
Emi became my #1 girl after this route, despite giving a negative first impression on me. I never understood people who claim to be genuinely in love with fictional characters before, yet it just happened to me with Emi. I can't use any other word to describe my feelings towards her, I love her.
Then, I got Hanako's route. I actually don't have a lot to say about that one. It may be because I played it too soon after the soul-destroying story I just experienced, or it could also be because the themes simply didn't speak to me as much. Nevertheless, it was still a very emotional story, and it subverted my expectations for a dating sim. Seeing a dating sim protagonist reject the idea of taking advantage of a vulnerable girl was something I really didn't expect.
Shizune's route was my third. I heard it was pretty bad and I agree. It's far too long and doesn't have interesting themes or drama. Her family members are also some of my least favorite characters, so that didn't help. It's really disappointing that the girl whom I was most interested in at first ended up having the worst route.
Rin's route was a really unique experience. The story wasn't all that interesting to me but her struggles were really special. Her (implied) autism made for a somewhat frustrating story, yet it also was executed very well. Her ending however, is what made change my opinion on this route. When I read the final line, I went from neutral to absolutely bawling my eyes out in the span of 3 seconds. I'm not kidding, I spent about 20 minutes straight crying while staring at the title screen, thinking about this line. I don't know what exactly hit me so hard, it could be the whole route, the buildup, the line, but it hit deep within me anyway.
Lilly's route was my final one. I loved it all the way through. My only complaint is that the bittersweetness only hit until well into Act 4. Her relationship with Hisao felt vey natural, yet also a bit too perfect. That final Act really came in to make it hurt. During the entierety of this Act, I felt EVERYTHING Hisao was feeling. My heart was genuinely racing when things were getting tense. I cried a ton multiple times there.
When I finished this route, it suddenly hit me : I finished Katawa Shoujo. It felt surreal. And tears just came flowing.
Now I'm afraid to start any other story. I feel like nothing could come close to this. It also feels terrible that I now have to leave all those characters behind. I might go read some fanfictions after typing this...
Thank you, Katawa Shoujo. Thank you, Four Leaf Studios. Thank you, everyone who contributed to this game's success.