Hisao's Trials (part One)
Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:18 pm
Hisao left Yamaku for university, becoming a successful business owner after graduating. Ten years after Yamaku, his life took a strange twist. This story chronicles his struggle to deal with a current tragedy which led to the reopening of old wounds. Along the way, an old friend appears to help him change.
Author’s Notes
First, Katawa Shoujo is the property of Four Leaf Studios. I am not affiliated with them in any way. The characters of Hisao, Hanako, and Lily are borrowed from their visual novel.
Second, I am not a professional author and have no aspirations of becoming one. I get inspired to write stories and I write them. This story is intended solely for folks to read and (hopefully) enjoy.
Finally, the story is told from Hisao’s point of view. It starts approximately ten years after his graduation from Yamaku.
Chapter One: Is This the End
Staring out of the office window, my mind drifted away from the employees working in the other buildings in the complex. Everyone in my office had gone home for the day and I needed to leave as well. One more phone call to receive. But time kept passing and with it, my willingness to wait. At half past six, I decided it was time to leave. I hoped the delay was not due to major problem.
Entering my SUV, I reflected on how blessed I have been since my heart attack ten years ago. Being strong-armed into finishing high school at a school for disabled children in Yamaku ended up being a blessing to me. I developed a new attitude from watching my fellow students overcome their challenges, which helped me determine the path that brought me to this point in time.
Nakai Products became a leading company in consumer product research. Our employees have made every effort to make everyday life more convenient. It all seemed so meaningless now. My subordinates continued to try and console me; to get me to move on. That was the impetus for the trip I was about to take.
Escaping Tokyo’s traffic, I settled in for the two-hour drive to Mito. It had been several years and fears that my staff had neglected the place came to mind. Purchased as a place of retreat and relaxation, work always managed to take priority. I knew that all of my managers had the same work ethic. Maybe that’s what led to the troubles that plagued me now.
Everyone has failures. Why could he not accept that?
My thoughts turned to Jiro; how I had tried to console him concerning the failure of his latest project. The words never registered in his mind. Even after sharing that each of my managers had at least one failed venture, his eyes remained downcast as he slowly shuffled out of my office. Three days later, he was found dead in his apartment. He had taken his own life. Even now, almost a month later, I struggled to keep my emotions from overcoming me.
There must have been something I could have said or done to prevent it.
My brooding was only interrupted by a driver racing up behind me and then staying about a car-length behind me. Knowing I was close to my destination, several options came to mind. Ruling out touching my brake pedal, I maintained my speed and expected him to pass on the straightaway we were traveling on. No move was made though, and I began to get angry. Allowing my gaze to remain more on the agitator than the road ahead, I soon regretted not pulling over.
A glance back at the road ahead revealed a sika deer. Swerving quickly to the left took my tires off the road and with that, my control of the vehicle. Catching hold of something, the SUV began to roll over but came to rest upright. I was not so lucky. The deployment of the air bag had given me a blow to the chest and my heart was not beating as it should. Trying to remedy the problem, I tried to breathe deeply and slow things down. What I saw next drew my thoughts away from breathing.
Looking toward the engine revealed a fire had started. All I could think about was trying to get out. That is when I found myself trapped. Pushing on the door repeatedly, failed to budge it. Attempting to exit via the passenger side, my efforts to move were thwarted by the seat and the steering wheel. I was imprisoned in my vehicle.
A man started pulling at my door, but he couldn’t get it open either. He then tried the other doors but had no luck with any of them. Then he said, “I’ve called 1-1-9 and hope they will get here quickly. I’m going to knock out the rest of the glass on that back door and then see if I can pull you out.”
The sound of glass falling was overridden by the sound of my heartbeat growing faster and faster, spurred on by the growing fire in front of me. “You’re pinned in there. There’s nothing more I can do for you.” was the last thing I heard before everything went black.
*****************
Thoughts began to materialize in my head.
Where am I? Am I still human or something else?
The feeling of pain soon let me know that I was indeed still alive only I couldn’t tell where the pain was coming from. It definitely wasn’t just in my chest as my whole body seemed to be throbbing. Realizing my eyes were covered, I called out, “Hello, is anyone here?”
“I am your nurse. I will get your doctor. She wanted to know the minute you woke up. Please try to stay still until she gets here.”
Dr. Yu introduced herself and then explained my situation. I suffered burns over the bottom part of my body. I also had another heart attack that probably would have been fatal had the rescuers not arrived when they did. She told me that the man who had been following me called in the emergency. There was a struggle in my head over whether to thank him or blame him, eventually blaming myself for not watching where I was going.
She also explained that they had covered my eyes because they weren’t sure if they had been damaged. My upper torso had been laying over the steering wheel and the flames had come up from the floor area. She then proceeded to remove the bandages, examining and testing my eyes.
“I don’t see any damage in either eye, and you appear to be seeing okay. At least that part of your body is unscathed. I was hopeful they were fine considering that you still have your eyebrows.”
Dr. Yu then spent time going through the treatment plan set up for me, along with a possible timetable for release. She finished by asking, “Do you have any questions for me?”
Given her thorough explanation of everything, I couldn’t think of any until she started to walk out. “Do you know where my phone is? It was charging in the vehicle during my trip.”
“I can’t say for sure, but I would guess it is still in the vehicle. From what I was told, if it was anywhere near the dash, there’s a good chance it was destroyed. The investigators will be here soon to get a statement from you about the crash. They should be able to help you. ”
“Great,” I mumbled as she walked out. “My managers are going to think I took their advice and turned it off. No one’s going to know I’m here.”
The investigators arrived and I shared with them what I could remember of the incident. They told me they had a statement from the other driver, and it mostly matched my version. I asked them to pass along my thanks for his help. After all, he did save my life.
A little later, the nurse came in again to treat my wounds. As she uncovered the groin area, I evidently blushed.
“Relax,” she told me, “I’m sure I’ve seen more of these things than you have.”
I couldn’t argue with her on that point, but it didn’t lessen my self-consciousness. After she finished, I was left alone to ponder my situation. It was almost exactly ten years ago that I found myself in this very same spot…alone in a hospital room.
You recovered from that. You can recover from this.
My thoughts didn’t really convince me though. If it hadn’t been for my fellow students at Yamaku, I might not have found a reason to go on. Well, I guess my science teacher, Mutou, helped motivate me also.
I should look him up sometime to thank him.
As my classmates came to mind, the image of Hanako came front and center.
It must have been so terrible to go through this as a child. The pain is bothering me, so I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to tolerate it. I should call her. Oh, I don’t have my phone. I need some books.
With boredom overtaking me, I fell asleep.
Chapter Two: I Know That Person
The opening of the door ended my light nap. A female voice said, “We thought that you might be able to talk with this patient. He was severely burned in a vehicle accident last night.”
Entering the room, the nurse continued, “This is…”
“Hisao?” another voice exclaimed.
As my eyes turned to the door, I thought I was dreaming.
It couldn’t be her.
“Hisao, what happened? Are you okay? Of course, you’re not okay or you wouldn’t be here. Are you in pain?”
“Hanako, is that really you?”
“I see you two know each other. I guess I’ll continue with my rounds then,” the nurse said.
“I can’t believe you’re here. It must be a hallucination from the drugs,” I said.
“No, I’m work here. How did you end up like this though? Kori said something about an accident.”
We sat and talked for a long while. I explained the circumstances that left me burned from the hips down and she tried to prepare me mentally for the long road to recovery. I also told her about the heart attack that occurred before the medics arrived. Eventually, we were interrupted by Nurse Kori again.
“Time for burn treatment. Do you want me to kick her out?”
“No, that’s not necessary. She can stay if she wants. She’s been down this road so I don’t think it will shock her.”
“All right,” she said, lifting off the protective sheet.
Having not looked earlier, the shock of the first glance must have registered on my face because Hanako quickly said, “They will heal, Hisao.” Her eyes showed the same emotion that I was feeling though.
I dropped my head back onto the pillow and covered my eyes with my hands. Hanako placed a hand on my shoulder. “It will be okay.”
“You’re sure?” I mumbled.
“Yes,” she answered with confidence. “I will be here to help you through this.”
“That will make me feel better about my chances,” I replied, dropping my hands to my chest.
Nurse Kori finished her work and left us alone again. Hanako grabbed my left hand in hers and squeezed it. Studying her eyes for a few moments I ask, “There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”
Caught off-guard, she stammered, “I… I don’t know everything, so I can’t say.”
“Can’t say what? If there’s something I should know, please tell me. I’d rather it come from you than someone else.”
After a long pause she said, “First understand, I am not a doctor, and this is not a medical opinion.” I nodded and she continued. “You might not be able to father any children depending on how things heal.”
It didn’t faze me much which she quickly noticed. “That doesn’t upset you?”
“There wasn’t much chance of that happening anyhow.”
“Why? You’re not an old man.”
Tears began to well up in my eyes. “For the same reason that I stopped returning your calls and texts. I was too busy in my work. I haven’t been on a date since…Yamaku and those weren’t even dates. Just me spending time with you and Lily. Hanako, I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve to be ignored like that. Not ignored, but I was always in a meeting when you called and wanted to call you back but never remembered when there was time to respond. Then, you stopped calling and I figured that was it. There were many times when I had my finger on the call button but couldn’t press it. I guessed that you had moved on and my chance to stay in your life was gone.”
Hanako nodded and said, “I thought you had probably found someone and by ignoring me I would give up. That’s what I did.”
“Hanako, I would never do that to you. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for you and Lily. Seeing how much you both overcame in your lives, I was ashamed because my problem seemed so minor. I was so proud I was of you when you became a nurse. You’re a different person now than you were in school. The transformation is incredible. There is such confidence in you now. It makes you all the more beautiful.”
That comment brought a familiar reaction from her, gaze dropping to the floor and cheeks turning bright red.
“I’m sorry if I was out of line saying that, but I mean it. The only beauty of real value is what radiates from inside a person. You becoming a nurse is evidence of your inner beauty. You want to help others in their time of pain, grief, and sorrow. That’s a wonderful thing.”
“I better be going now. I have to work early tomorrow and need to sleep before that. I will stop by tomorrow after my shift if you want.”
“I hope you will. Hey, before you go, would you call Nakai Products for me? I don’t have my phone and I need to let someone know where I am.”
She looked up the number for me and I left a message for Mikai.
“Do you want to call your parents too while I’m here?”
“No.”
“Don’t you think they should know?”
I remember Hanako telling me that she lost her parents in the fire that left her scarred for life. She doesn’t know about my relationship with mine or rather, the lack of one.
“They’re not going to drop everything and fly here anyhow. Mikai will drive up tomorrow and get me set up with what I need. I can call them tomorrow.”
“Hisao, you could have died.”
“Hanako, they left me by myself in the hospital for the final month last time. Then they dumped me into the school at Yamaku, so they didn’t have to watch over me, not that they had for years. It’s just…I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you. I know my parents and I’ll be surprised if they even come to see me, especially since it looks like I’ll recover.”
Her mouth opened for a second, but her face became downcast, and she slowly walked out the door with a final, “Good night, Hisao. Sleep well.”
Chapter Three: Road to Recovery
The view from my bed through the window showed nothing but gray. The extra pain medication was kicking in which meant the nurse would be in soon to clean the wounds and do some physical therapy. Even with the meds there was more pain than normal, but Hanako told me it’s part of the healing process. I tried to picture her going through this as a child to keep my mind occupied. It was hard to fathom how she did it.
The investigators were nice enough to check my vehicle for the phone and laptop that were left behind. Unfortunately, both were destroyed in the fire. Mikai showed up shortly before lunch. Replacing those items became his top priority for the day. We also set up a schedule for meeting times when I could be updated on project statuses. After a little conversation about the accident, he left to return to Tokyo.
Hanako did come to visit after her shift was over. She walked over to the hospital chair and sat on the edge of the seat, placing her purse on the floor. With an uncertain look she asked, “How did things go this morning?”
“Breakfast? Oh, it was okay. Nothing to write home about.”
Opening her mouth to respond, she stopped suddenly. Then she looked at me and sternly said, “I was talking about the physical therapy.”
“Oh, that,” I laughed. “That was a breeze. Nothing to it.”
The look that followed my response was borderline angry. I figured I better stop with the jokes. “It hurt…a lot. I have to ask, how did you do it? If I had gone through this at eight years old, I would have been screaming for my mommy.”
Her eyes went glassy as she thought back to those days. “I cried…a lot. One of the nurses had given me a doll. I remember squeezing her so hard as they would move my arm or leg. She was almost as flat as a paper doll by the time my therapy was finished.”
“You are an incredible young woman.”
Blushing for a moment, she guided the conversation in a different direction. “Speaking of your mommy, have you called her yet?”
“I can’t…no phone.”
“You can use mine.”
“No good. I don’t have the number memorized. Before you ask, I don’t know my dad’s number either. It’s the curse of the cell phone era.”
That stern voice returned as she told me, “I’m not letting you off the hook. When are you getting a phone?”
“The IT worker will be here tomorrow with Mikai to get me set up. I don’t know how much they will be able to recover though. I doubt that I even had my parents’ numbers on my work phone. I might not be able to call them until I can get to the store and replace my personal phone.”
My answer was clearly unsatisfactory to her. She stood, reached over to grab my hand and said, “Promise me that you will call them as soon as you can…for me. No excuses.”
Looking into her violet-colored eyes, I couldn’t say no. “I will. I promise you.”
“I know you aren’t happy with the way they’ve treated you, but people change, right?”
“I can’t argue with that. Seeing the change in you has shocked me.”
“Yeah, about that.”
“What? I can see how your behavior has changed. You carry yourself with much more confidence now than you did at school.”
“That’s only here, Hisao. This hospital is somewhat of a safe zone for me. My work is mostly in the office, so there’s not much interaction with patients or their families. The staff here has been relatively stable, which allowed me to get to know them at a slow pace. I am comfortable here.”
“Going out in public still bothers you, huh?”
Looking at the floor and nodding, she answers, “I avoid it as much as I can. I have groceries delivered to my house.”
“I was bored earlier and started thinking about the changes to come. I realized that I might never wear shorts again or go swimming. The stares and comments would surely bother me.”
“I’m sorry. I never even thought about you being bored. Is there anything I can get you to pass the time?”
“Now that you mention it, I would love a good book. I used to keep one in the office for quiet times.”
“I have one with me.” She reached for her purse. “You can have it.”
“I’ll survive one more night without one. I don’t want to take it from you before you’re finished.”
“There’s only one chapter left to go. I could finish it now if you wouldn’t think it rude of me. Then you could have it for tonight.”
“Well, it would be nice to have it tonight. I don’t want to feel like you have to though.”
She found her bookmark and started reading. Watching her brought a smile to my face. Noticing, she asked, “Why are you smiling like that?”
“I was thinking of the first time I met you. You were sitting in a beanbag at the back of the library. I sat down near you and started reading. Before too long, you started acting weird and ran out of the room.”
“Weird? You thought I was weird?” she pouted.
“Look at it from my point-of-view. You suddenly stood up, said ‘Igottogodosomething” and took off like a dog chasing a rabbit.”
As I recounted the incident, her pout faded to a smile, and then she laughed. “I guess most people would say that was weird.”
“I tried to chase you down, but you were too fast. When I asked Lily if she had seen someone run by, she asked who it was. When I described you, she took off to find you. I didn’t have a clue what I had done wrong until later. Knowing you now, I can say without reservation that you are not weird.”
“Thank you. Now, if you want me to finish this before dinner, you’ll have to let me read.” After a short pause she added, “And don’t stare at me.”
I smiled and said, “No promises.”
Chapter Four: Reconnecting
The book that Hanako left me was such a blessing. It completely took my mind off my troubles and left me tired enough to get some good sleep. I awoke feeling more refreshed than the day before and was greeted by a beautiful sunrise outside my window. There was another thing that brightened my morning. Hanako must have visited before her shift and left a note of encouragement on my table.
A reminder I would need that incentive came when the nurse arrived to deliver my extra pain medication for physical therapy. The warning from Hanako about the need to stretch my joints didn’t make it bearable. Reading the book didn’t protect me from the pain. The nurse repeatedly asked me to move things on my own to see how far I could go. Then she would stretch them even farther. Hips, knees, ankles, even toes had to be moved each day to keep the skin flexible.
I was so glad when Mikai Fujita entered the room, along with Yuki Harada from the IT department. It was strange being so disconnected from work.
“Good news, Nakai,” Mikai said. “We have a laptop with everything restored. Harada said it was no problem for them.”
“No problem for them maybe. For me it was a problem,” I replied. “I dislike being out of touch. What about a phone?”
Yuki pulled a company phone from the pocket of his jacket. “We were able to recover many of your business contacts with the help of Fujita and some of the other managers. You may have to reenter some from your e-mail contacts list. I hope this helps a little.”
“Very good, Harada. Be sure to thank everyone involved. It is greatly appreciated,” I replied. “What about my personal phone. How do I get that replaced and, more importantly, get my contact list back?”
“Your service provider might be able to help you with that,” Yuki said. “One of my co-workers accidentally dropped his while doing some deep-sea fishing. They were able to get everything back for him from the cloud.”
“That would be great except that I’m stuck in here. I should call my parents.”
“Use the phone in your hand,” Mikai suggested.
As I shake my head, he adds, “You’re the CEO. No one’s going to…”
“No, Fujita. I am not going to tell my employees that they can’t use the work phone for personal business and then do it myself.”
Mikai paused to think while Yuki looked down at the floor, uncomfortable with the tenseness. “I should not have recommended that. I apologize. Your integrity is one of the things your employees like about you.”
“Sometimes an idea seems fine at first but when it is evaluated thoroughly flaws appear. That is why we investigate business opportunities so carefully. I know that you were trying to help me but please keep in mind that the rules we make apply to all of us equally.”
“Yes, Nakai.”
Yuki got me started on the laptop and I was relieved to be back at work. With Mikai’s agreement, I sent Yuki back to Tokyo in the company vehicle. Then I started on the task of catching up with e-mails and phone messages. We didn’t get very far when the nurse came in to give me the extra pain meds.
“Fujita, I’m afraid we will have to recess until later. Please come back after lunch and we will finish.”
“Actually, I think you are up to date with most everything. Besides, I thought we all agreed that you were to take this week off.”
“I feel like I’ve been gone a week. My employees will think I’m slacking off.”
He shook his head and replied, “No one would think that of you. Everyone sees your involvement and interest. You are an inspiration to your employees and the reason for our success.”
It was now my turn to shake my head. “Fujita, you are wrong about that. I am but one man. I have surrounded myself with great people like you who I depend on to help me make good decisions. This situation I am in is proof of that. I was confident that you could fill in for me or I never would have agreed to leave for a week. I am thankful for the help you are providing.”
As he gave a small bow for the complement, I continued. “I would like to ask one thing of you as a friend. This is personal business, and I don’t want you to feel that you have to agree. I would appreciate it if you could go to the phone store for me. I will give you my account information to see if they can restore my contacts. I will repay you for the phone, along with transportation costs you incur. You can return to Tokyo this afternoon.”
He returned a couple of hours later having accomplished each task. I was not surprised that the phone store called to verify my information and to get my pin number. I felt whole again, at least in technological terms.
I thanked him for his efforts and told him to go home. He bowed deeply before leaving and I began the emotional fight over the phone calls facing me.
If I call them, they might come. I don’t really want them to. The temptation to share my feelings would be hard to fight. That would end up in a mess. Maybe I can downplay how serious my condition is.
I understand Hanako’s point though. She’ll be pretty angry with me if I don’t keep my promise. Our situations aren’t really that different in my mind. Even though my parents are still alive, they are almost dead to me. We’ve seen each other what, twice in the last ten years? Each visit was more like a business meeting than a family gathering. Why bother?
In the end, I remembered my promise to Hanako and called my mom. She offered to come and visit but I told her it wouldn’t be necessary, and that was only after I suppressed a sarcastic remark. I followed that conversation with a call to my dad, having essentially the same exchange with him.
When Hanako entered the room, I saw her face light up when she noticed the two phones on my table. I was not excited about what would happen next.
Chapter Five: Reconciliation, Sort Of
“Well, did you call them?”
“I kept my promise and called both of them.”
“So, when are they coming to see you?”
“They’re not. I told them I wouldn’t be here that long and would call them when I get discharged to my vacation house.”
I turned my head to avoid seeing her reaction, but that didn’t stop the message from coming through loud and clear.
“You’re telling me you lied to them to keep them from coming? Hisao, I don’t understand you. Why would you do that?”
“Because I don’t want to deal with them. All they want to know is if I’m okay. If I tell them that they can continue on with their busy lives. They don’t have time to waste on me. They don’t want to be here so why should I make them feel like they ought to.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say. I cannot believe that your mother and father who raised such a wonderful, caring young man would feel that way.”
I could see fire in her eyes, but I kept pushing. “I’ve known them for 28 years. All I have to do is say that I’m fine and it releases them from any obligation towards me. They’ve done their parental duty by asking. It’s the way things are with us, and I accepted that a long time ago…before I came to Yamaku.”
“You won’t even consider they might have changed. You won’t even give them a chance. I would give anything to talk to my parents again. You have that chance, and you keep throwing it away. That hurts me, Hisao. It really hurts.”
As she began to walk to the door, I regretted my words. “Hanako, please…”
“I’m sorry. I need to leave.”
The sting of her words kept digging into me like porcupine quills. A memory of her birthday when we were at Yamaku came to mind. She had withdrawn for several days and was an emotional wreck. Lily said it was because she felt guilty for having survived while her parents died. I had opened those wounds again for her and I felt horrible.
She stopped visiting after work, so I tried calling but she didn’t answer. I sent text after text apologizing and got nothing in return. It wasn’t until I notified her of my pending release that she texted back.
Do you need someone to drive you to your house?
A glimmer of hope! I had to temper my excitement and find some way to alleviate the damage I’d caused. The only thing that came to mind was to give my parents a chance. I really didn’t want to put myself through that though. There’s not much sense trying to walk through a locked door. I wished that I could get her to see the situation from my point of view. There was a more immediate concern on my mind.
Yes, but I need some clothes. I can’t leave in this hospital gown. Would you pick me up a sweat suit or something simple like that? A pair of slippers too. I will pay you back when I get my things replaced.
When she came to the room, there was no hint of a smile, not that I really expected one. Still, I was thankful to have contact with her at all. She took my note and left straightaway without saying two words.
On discharge day she was still silent aside from talk about the drive. I had pulled the map up on my laptop so she could see the route. She studied it intently, finally nodding to indicate that she was ready.
As the nurse wheeled me outside, I was dismayed to see a smaller car awaiting me. We tried to get my body into the front seat, but the pain was too much for me. The back seat became the better option, and I was able to slide in with much less discomfort.
Getting out of the car didn’t go as smoothly. It took me a few minutes to work myself out of the door and by the time I stood up, the pain was throbbing. Hanako grabbed my left arm and wrapped it around her shoulders to stabilize me. Approaching the door, I warned her that it might be a bit dusty inside.
I was surprised to find everything in good order and made a mental note to thank the caretakers for their diligence. She led me over to the sofa and I eagerly sat down, which turned into reclining after a few moments. She grabbed some pillows and elevated my legs.
“Thanks, Hanako, for helping me today. Remind me to do something nice for you to show my appreciation.”
She gave me a serious look and said, “If you want to do something nice for me, call your parents right now.”
The shock took a few seconds to wear off, but I took out my phone and said, “Thanks for reminding me.”
“And put on the speakerphone so I can hear the whole conversation.”
Opening my mouth to protest, the look on her face told me to keep quiet. Having gotten back on speaking terms, however limited, led me to obey her command. Mom answered the phone after a single ring.
“Hisao! I’m glad you called. This means you’re finally out of the hospital, right? When you said you would be out before too long, I wasn’t expecting it to be this long. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, Mom, I was discharged today and I’m okay. I might have misjudged how long I would have to stay.”
I made the mistake of looking at Hanako when I said that and got an icy stare in return. I started to wonder if she was going to rat me out.
“Why does it sound like I’m on speakerphone?”
“Well, my nurse is here. Funny story, a girl I met at Yamaku ended up becoming a nurse. We got reacquainted at the hospital and she’s been a godsend to me. I think she wanted to hear your voice since she’s never met you. Her name is Hanako Ikezawa.”
“Hello, Hanako. Thank you for taking care of my son. If he gives you any trouble, be sure to call me. Have him give you my number. I know he can be a little difficult at times.”
My face turned deathly pale as I waited to see what Hanako would say. An evil grin appeared on her face as she answered, “That sounds like a good plan. He does tend to be a little stubborn sometimes.”
“Hisao, don’t make me come visit you. You do what they tell you. Have you been taking your medicines as you should?”
“Yes, Mom. The hospital made sure of that. Hanako is aware of my condition as well. I should tell you that I suffered another heart attack during the accident. I think it was because the air bag hit me in the chest.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that before? Don’t tell me you didn’t want me to worry, either. I’ve been worried ever since your last call.”
“You didn’t need to worry. The hospital had everything under control,” I said, getting a finger wagged at me. Hanako then pointed to herself and made a talking motion with her hand. I needed to end the call before she jumped in.
“Mom, I have to go. It’s been nice talking with you. I’ll be fine.”
“Hisao, wait! Where are you staying. I want the address.”
“Mom, I’m fine. You don’t need to come,” I protested, as Hanako reached for my phone. I pulled the phone away and switched off the speaker phone garnering me another icy glare.
“Okay, fine. Do you have a pen and paper handy?”
I barely ended the call when Hanako confronted me. “Do you know how close I came to blurting everything out? How can you keep this from them? What if they decide to show up here? How will you explain yourself?”
“Hanako, please, calm down. Everything is under control. They’re too busy with work to come here. I’ll keep healing and it will all work out in the end. My scars won’t even be visible, so they don’t need to know about the fire.”
“You’re purposely deceiving them, and I don’t like it. I feel like you have deceived me too.”
“In what way?”
“You said they don’t care about you. I don’t think that’s true at all. It’s obvious that your mother is worried about you. It seems to me you are shutting them out and you’re afraid I’m going to blow your cover.”
She reached over to the table and snatched my phone. I tried to grab it back, but she turned away from me. I started to get up, but she ran to the door.
“You can’t catch me, and I’ll go out to my car and lock myself inside. I am going to copy your mother’s number so you might as well accept it.”
Seeing I was hopelessly defeated, I fell back on the sofa. “When you finish, would you please get me some water and my medicines. I think you’ve given me a headache.”
Chapter Six: That Was Unexpected
After registering my mom’s number, she went out to her car to retrieve my belongings. She re-entered the house pulling a travel bag behind her. Noticing my curious stare, she said, “I’m staying here tonight.”
“Really? I don’t recall giving permission for that.”
“If I’m going to be your home nurse, I have to be here tomorrow to see how the procedures are to be carried out. Since I’m not sure what time that will be, I have to stay. Now, which bedroom shall I use?”
Stunned by her proclamation, I managed to say, “Down the hall, last door on the left.” Then, recovering some of my senses, I called after her, “I don’t think the bed has ever been used.”
Who is this girl? It’s definitely not the same Hanako I knew in Yamaku.
She passed through the main room into the kitchen, opening and closing one cupboard door after another. “Where do you keep the…never mind, I found them.”
“I have no idea where anything is. I haven’t been here in years. I should have sold the place but now I’m glad I didn’t.”
She approached with a glass of water and started doling out my meds.
“Of course, if I didn’t have this place I wouldn’t have been in the accident and gotten reacquainted with you.”
She remained stoically quiet and held out a tray of pills. The ticking of the clock was the only noise as I swallowed the last one. I guess I’m not back in her good graces yet.
“So, when did you become my home nurse?”
“I arranged it when I discovered your discharge date. I’m not just an office worker. I am a trained nurse. I need to see the treatments being done and find out what physical therapy you need. Don’t think I’m going to baby you, either.”
“I was more worried that you would take your anger out on me. I can tell you’re still upset.”
“I really don’t want to talk about that anymore. I cried a river that night and I’m tired of crying.”
“Then why volunteer to be my nurse if I’m upsetting you that much?”
“Do you remember my birthday at Yamaku when I shut myself in my room for three days?” I nodded and she continued. “You kept checking on me, even when I tried to get you to leave me alone. I think I even got mad at you. I might not have told you later, but I was glad that you did. It let me know how much you cared and that meant a lot to me.”
“What does that have to do with this situation?”
“Your parents are still alive which means you still have a chance to patch things up with them. I’m not going to let you throw that away. I will do everything I can to make you at least try.”
I laughed a little which brought a quizzical look to her face. “I’m sorry. A movie quote just popped into my head. The force is strong with this one.”
We both laughed a little and the conversation moved on to other things.
After dinner I was back on the sofa and was thinking about my situation. I knew I wasn’t on good footing with Hanako, and it bothered me. There was another issue too. She must have noticed my mood.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just thinking.”
“About what? You seem upset.”
“I don’t like the way things have gone. I realize that I hurt you and I’m sorry for that. When I tried to apologize, you kept ignoring me.”
“I was too upset. I didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”
“You stopped coming to the room. I started to feel like I did before I got to Yamaku. The girl who cared about me stopped visiting and I was alone. I didn’t want to be like that boy again…a boy who thought about giving up; a boy whose life was taken away from him.”
“Hisao, I’m sorry but I couldn’t…”
“I understand that and I’m not blaming you. I’ve been thinking though and maybe I can do what you want me to. It’s going to take time though. I can’t just push all those feelings aside just like you couldn’t with your birthday. I’m willing to try.”
“I won’t ask you for more than that.”
“I do have one thing to ask of you though. Would you stay with me until this rehab is finished? I mean, stay with me in this house. I don’t want to be alone.”
She walked over and brushed away the tears that were flowing from my eyes.
“Yes, I will do that for you.”
It didn’t take long for us to settle into a routine. I would have dinner ready when she got home from work. She wasn’t thrilled about me moving around too much without her being home saying she didn’t want to find me on the floor and unable to get up. I was extra careful though and I think it helped me with my flexibility. Extra pain meds followed the food, and P.T. took place when those pills kicked in.
We had finished therapy one night and Hanako was in the shower. A knock on the door interrupted my reading. I slowly made my way over and hollered “Coming” when they knocked again. I opened the door and froze in horror.
After a couple of seconds, I managed to say, “Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?”
“We came to make sure that you’re okay. Can we come in?”
“I’m sorry, yes, sure. Come in. I can’t believe you’re here.”
As I closed the door, I noticed that Dad had two bags in tow. I started to worry about how things were going to unfold. The first act of the play started a few seconds later.
“Hisao, who were you talking…” Hanako’s eyes opened wide in panic, as she pulled on the tie of her robe. “I have to get dressed. Please excuse me.”
Turning back to my parents, I saw their eyes were also gaping only for them, it was shock. Dad was the one who broke the silence.
“We were hoping to stay here with you tonight, but I think we better find a hotel to stay in, given the situation.”
“No, Dad. You’re welcome to stay here. Please sit down and I’ll explain after she comes out.”
They slowly made their way to the sofa and whispered to each other. I held my tongue, not wanting the situation to escalate.
As soon as she came out of the bedroom, she said, “I should go.”
“No. You wanted to meet my parents and they’re here. Mom. Dad. This is Hanako Ikezawa. I first met her at Yamaku where we became friends. We lost touch for a while but then got reacquainted when they took me to the hospital she works at. She is my home nurse who takes care of my wounds and physical therapy. There is nothing immoral going on between us. I asked her to stay here so she wouldn’t have to do a lot of driving back and forth, and for other reasons I won’t go into. Hanako, this is my mother, Tori, and my father, Koji.”
After the introductions, both parties starting badgering me, saying that they should leave. I finally had enough and started yelling, “I don’t want anyone to leave. I want you all to stay here tonight and we will talk about things tomorr…”
Pain began to well up inside me, but it wasn’t from my legs. I saw fear reflected in their eyes as I grabbed my chest.
Relax. Breathe. Slower. Heart rate is slowing. Slow, steady breaths. Okay. I’m okay.
“Son, what happened? Did you just have another heart attack?” Dad asked.
“It’s okay. My heart started going too fast. It’s under control now.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? I think we should take you to the hospital,” Mom said.
“I’m okay. It’s happened before. I just…can we please all go to bed and talk tomorrow. I can’t deal with all this right now.”
My parents slowly took their things into the main bedroom. Hanako stayed, still looking fearfully at me. I walked over to her and said, “It’s okay.”
“No. I’ve pushed you too hard to do this. I shouldn’t have…”
Placing a finger on her lips, I replied, “Everything you’ve said to me about this was right. You’ve done nothing wrong. It was always going to be a problem. As for you being here, remember, that was my request. I will deal with that. Please, go get some sleep. You have to work tomorrow. I will talk with my parents while you’re gone and things will be settled, for better or worse.”
I could see my words did nothing to reassure her, so I reached around and hugged her. She wrapped her arms tight around me and I heard a sob. Breaking apart, I wiped the tears from her face and kissed her.
Chapter Seven: Reconciliation
I didn’t know why I kissed her. It just happened. She looked back at me with dreamy eyes and the faintest hint of a smile. Then she cupped her hands around my head and kissed me back.
“Hisao, do you have an extra…Oh! Sorry. I …” Dad said.
As Hanako went scurrying to her bedroom, I called to him. “Dad, can you come here please?”
“Son, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
The jolt of what occurred still affecting me, I stammered, “I…I just kissed a girl for the first time. I don’t…know why I did. Then…she kissed me back.” Turning to look at him, I could only shake my head in disbelief.
“Well, it is a natural thing if you’re attracted to someone but, wait, did you say first time?” I shook my head and he continued. “You’re 28 and that was the first time? I mean, I guess there’s nothing wrong with that but, wow! First time. Anyway, I was wondering if you had a spare charger for a laptop. I must have forgotten mine.”
“Just use mine. It’s on the counter over there.”
“Thanks. First time. Wow,” he said returning to the bedroom.
Despite the stress of the day, sleep eluded me. Thinking about my action only left me puzzled. I had thought about kissing her when we were at Yamaku but was afraid of scaring her and making a mess of things. I was a young, naïve boy then.
Do I still feel attracted to her? She kissed me back! She must have feelings for me.
Next, the vision of my father’s face when he saw us came to mind. I had told him there was nothing immoral going on and then he saw us kissing. They’re going to have a hard time believing that now. That was the least of my problems with them though.
Since I couldn’t sleep, I made sure to have breakfast ready for Hanako before she left for work. Sneaking up behind me while I was plating her food, she wrapped her arms around my waist. I turned around to see her smile, then pucker her lips for a kiss.
“I could get used to this,” I told her as we ate.
“Me too,” she said. “I have to run now. We’ll talk more later. I hope things go well today with your parents.”
“Thanks. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it though.”
Another kiss and a smile and she was on her way. My parents came out a few minutes later. I motioned for them to sit down and started preparing breakfast for them. I glanced back at them once and was taken back in time. Dad had his laptop open and was sifting through the stock markets, occasionally entering something on his phone. Mom was on her phone reading e-mails. It was like I was thirteen again, just before everything went bad. I stuffed my emotions away and plated their food.
“My, that’s an impressive looking breakfast,” Mom said. “Did you learn by watching those cooking shows on television?”
Fighting the urge to say, Somebody had to teach me, I simply said, “Yes.”
There was minimal conversation while they ate, but that wasn’t unusual. With them if was always business, business, business. I felt my frustration growing with each passing minute.
Finishing the last of his eggs, Dad said, “I suppose there’s no sense postponing this anymore. Shall we?”
I refilled everyone’s coffee and followed them into the main room. I had them sit on the sofa, tossing my collection of pillows onto the floor. I sat in the recliner to their right and took a deep breath.
“You look tired, honey,” Mom said. “You didn’t sleep well, did you?”
“No, I didn’t sleep at all last night. Too much on my mind. I want to start with last night. I’m sure Dad told you what he saw.”
“Yes, he did. He kept saying it was your first kiss. Is that true?”
“Yes, it’s true. I’ve always been too busy with the business to get involved…even to go on dates. Another thing that is true, there has been nothing immoral going on here. In fact, it’s not possible.”
“What do you mean, not possible? A man and a woman living together? Explain how it’s not,” Dad said.
“Well, I wasn’t entirely honest with you about my accident. It was a little more serious than I let on.”
With that, I pulled up the legs of my sweatpants. Dad’s bottom jaw dropped, and Mom gasped, placing her hand over her mouth. I slowly let go of my pants and said, “The burns go all the way to my hips. There were issues with the healing process, and I will not be able to…um…function in that capacity anymore.”
“That’s terrible,” Mom said. “Were there any other injuries?”
“I think the bigger question is, why would you try to hide this from us?” Dad asked.
“Would it have made any difference?” I said as the dam holding back my emotions collapsed. “Would you have come sooner, maybe? Honestly, I can’t believe you’re here at all. I told Hanako you wouldn’t.”
“Why would you think that?” Mom asked. The hurt look on her face was sending daggers into my heart. “What have we ever done to make you think we don’t care about you?”
“Care about me? After you left me alone for a month in that hospital only to show up and tell me that you were dumping me in a new school. Hey son, sorry we haven’t been around. Business and all. But hey, we found a new school for you where you won’t know anybody. Doesn’t that sound great?”
Ignoring the shock on heir faces I continued. “So, I go there and there’s people missing body parts, and blind people, kids in wheelchairs. They all look at me and wonder if I know it’s a school for the disabled. It was like I didn’t belong there either. I almost wanted to flip my tie around my neck and walk around with my shirt unbuttoned so they could see my scar. Truth be told, I don’t know if I’d be alive right now if it hadn’t been for Lily and Hanako.”
“Hisao, don’t say that!” Mom cautioned me.
“Why not? It’s the truth. I’ve pretty much been alone since I was thirteen and you both decided that I could stay by myself. Sure, it started out as a day or two here and there. It wasn’t long before it was all week, every week.”
“But you showed you could handle it. That’s the only reason. You were always mature for your age. Your grades were always good, and you never got into trouble,” Dad said.
“Just because I could didn’t mean it was good for me.”
“I can see that now,” Dad said. “Why didn’t you say anything back then. Whenever I asked you how things were going, you would say ‘Fine’. We could never get more than two words out of you. Then, after university, you hardly called at all. I figured that, no news was good news; that you were happy and enjoying life.”
“You were happy with me out of the way. Lily’s sister told me about their family. Her parents were big shots in some company. Akira said her parents didn’t want any of their business associates to know about her and her blindness. So, they put her in Yamaku. It was the same with me. ‘Let’s put him in that school and they will take care of him so we can keep on with our careers and not have to worry about him.’ I was nothing but an inconvenience to you. That’s all I’ve ever been.”
Chapter Eight: Further Reconciliation
Uncontrollable sobbing overtook me. Mom walked over and grabbed my hand, leading me over to the sofa. She sat beside me and pulled my head to her shoulder.
“Hisao, that is not true,” she said in an unsteady voice. “You are our son, and we love you. When the issue with your heart came up, the doctors advised us that your high school couldn’t offer the kind of protection that you would need. They told us about Yamaku and how they could help you, about their round-the-clock medical staffing and the physical therapy department. There were so many positives it seemed irresponsible for us to turn down that opportunity. We felt it was the best place you could be.”
Dad jumped in. “With regard to your hospital stay, you were there for four months. We used up all of our time off from work in the first three months. We couldn’t risk losing our jobs just to sit with you in your room. Besides, you hardly spoke to us at all, so it didn’t seem to make a difference if we were there or not. I guess your mother and I both assumed that the other one was stopping by once in a while. I see now that we were wrong. I’m sorry for that. I wish you had said something to us.”
I couldn’t stop myself from firing back. “Everybody left at once…you, my friends, Iwanako. There was no one. Eventually, I realized I was forgotten about. The nurses would look at me with such pity on their faces. They would spend a few minutes talking with me, but they had work to do. They couldn’t help me. I learned to deal with it by not dealing with it. All I had to do was tell you I was fine, everything was fine. Then we could all go on with our lives. That worked until Hanako…” The words stopped coming out.
“Hanako what, dear?” Mom asked.
“She told me I had to try and patch things up. Her parents died in the fire that gave her those scars. She misses them badly and said there was no way she would let me throw away the chance to make things right,” I sobbed. “Then you both show up here and I see that I was part of the problem and we kissed and now my life is upside down and…”
“Hisao, quiet down for a moment,” Mom said. “I don’t want a repeat of last night. Look, you’re obviously tired and overcome with emotions. Why don’t you go in and get some sleep? We’ll wake you up for dinner. We can talk more later.”
With a nod, I trudged wearily down the hallway. Sleep came almost immediately in the form of a dream. Hanako and I were at an estate. We walked arm-in-arm through the huge flower beds of roses, hydrangea, and irises. Rows and rows of plum trees and cherry trees surrounded the path. Spotting a tree swing, Hanako ran over to it.
Push me, Hisao.
Hanako, you’re too old for swings.
Please. My daddy used to push me. Please, just for a little while.
When she mentioned her dad, I couldn’t argue anymore. The smile on her face was more than enough reward. After slowing to a stop, she ran over and hugged me. I stared into her violet eyes and said, “Kiss me.” I closed my eyes and waited as she pressed her lips to mine. Slowly opening my eyes, the dream ended, and I found Hanako staring at me.
“What? You said, ‘Kiss me’, so I did,” she smiled.
Looking around, I was disappointed to find myself in a bedroom. The events from earlier in the day rushed back into my mind. “Mom and Dad…are they still here?”
“Yes. They asked me to wake you up. Your mother is making your favorite dinner and it’s almost ready.”
“Chicken curry? I haven’t had that in so long. I’ve never been able to make it as good as she does, even after she gave me the recipe.”
“Maybe it’s the love she puts into it that makes a difference.”
“You’ve been discussing our talk from this morning, I’m guessing.”
“Yes. They told me everything.”
“So, aren’t you going to say it?”
“What, I told you so? I don’t need to say it. I didn’t know it would turn out this way. I’m happy that you kept your promise and I hope that you can rebuild your family.”
“Somehow, thank you doesn’t seem enough, but I am grateful. I can’t believe the way my life has changed in the last month. The accident, finding you, you nagging me about my parents, them showing up out of the blue, our kisses last night, finding I was partially to blame for my family situation. My mind can hardly take it all in.”
“Hey, I didn’t nag you. I only tried to make you give them a chance. I’m glad I did. Your parents are really nice. They didn’t ask, but I told them about the fire and what I went through after the fire. They were very sympathetic and also thankful that I am here to help you with your burns. You told them about your, um, genitals?”
“Yeah. I was trying to make sure they knew there was nothing immoral going on between us. Dad catching us kissing last night put a lot of doubt in their minds. They would not be happy with our arrangement if I couldn’t convince them of the truth.”
“We better get going. They’re going to start doubting again if we stay in here too long,” she laughed. Before she could move away, I pulled her on top of me for another kiss. I wished that I could see that smile on her face forever.
Author’s Notes
First, Katawa Shoujo is the property of Four Leaf Studios. I am not affiliated with them in any way. The characters of Hisao, Hanako, and Lily are borrowed from their visual novel.
Second, I am not a professional author and have no aspirations of becoming one. I get inspired to write stories and I write them. This story is intended solely for folks to read and (hopefully) enjoy.
Finally, the story is told from Hisao’s point of view. It starts approximately ten years after his graduation from Yamaku.
Chapter One: Is This the End
Staring out of the office window, my mind drifted away from the employees working in the other buildings in the complex. Everyone in my office had gone home for the day and I needed to leave as well. One more phone call to receive. But time kept passing and with it, my willingness to wait. At half past six, I decided it was time to leave. I hoped the delay was not due to major problem.
Entering my SUV, I reflected on how blessed I have been since my heart attack ten years ago. Being strong-armed into finishing high school at a school for disabled children in Yamaku ended up being a blessing to me. I developed a new attitude from watching my fellow students overcome their challenges, which helped me determine the path that brought me to this point in time.
Nakai Products became a leading company in consumer product research. Our employees have made every effort to make everyday life more convenient. It all seemed so meaningless now. My subordinates continued to try and console me; to get me to move on. That was the impetus for the trip I was about to take.
Escaping Tokyo’s traffic, I settled in for the two-hour drive to Mito. It had been several years and fears that my staff had neglected the place came to mind. Purchased as a place of retreat and relaxation, work always managed to take priority. I knew that all of my managers had the same work ethic. Maybe that’s what led to the troubles that plagued me now.
Everyone has failures. Why could he not accept that?
My thoughts turned to Jiro; how I had tried to console him concerning the failure of his latest project. The words never registered in his mind. Even after sharing that each of my managers had at least one failed venture, his eyes remained downcast as he slowly shuffled out of my office. Three days later, he was found dead in his apartment. He had taken his own life. Even now, almost a month later, I struggled to keep my emotions from overcoming me.
There must have been something I could have said or done to prevent it.
My brooding was only interrupted by a driver racing up behind me and then staying about a car-length behind me. Knowing I was close to my destination, several options came to mind. Ruling out touching my brake pedal, I maintained my speed and expected him to pass on the straightaway we were traveling on. No move was made though, and I began to get angry. Allowing my gaze to remain more on the agitator than the road ahead, I soon regretted not pulling over.
A glance back at the road ahead revealed a sika deer. Swerving quickly to the left took my tires off the road and with that, my control of the vehicle. Catching hold of something, the SUV began to roll over but came to rest upright. I was not so lucky. The deployment of the air bag had given me a blow to the chest and my heart was not beating as it should. Trying to remedy the problem, I tried to breathe deeply and slow things down. What I saw next drew my thoughts away from breathing.
Looking toward the engine revealed a fire had started. All I could think about was trying to get out. That is when I found myself trapped. Pushing on the door repeatedly, failed to budge it. Attempting to exit via the passenger side, my efforts to move were thwarted by the seat and the steering wheel. I was imprisoned in my vehicle.
A man started pulling at my door, but he couldn’t get it open either. He then tried the other doors but had no luck with any of them. Then he said, “I’ve called 1-1-9 and hope they will get here quickly. I’m going to knock out the rest of the glass on that back door and then see if I can pull you out.”
The sound of glass falling was overridden by the sound of my heartbeat growing faster and faster, spurred on by the growing fire in front of me. “You’re pinned in there. There’s nothing more I can do for you.” was the last thing I heard before everything went black.
*****************
Thoughts began to materialize in my head.
Where am I? Am I still human or something else?
The feeling of pain soon let me know that I was indeed still alive only I couldn’t tell where the pain was coming from. It definitely wasn’t just in my chest as my whole body seemed to be throbbing. Realizing my eyes were covered, I called out, “Hello, is anyone here?”
“I am your nurse. I will get your doctor. She wanted to know the minute you woke up. Please try to stay still until she gets here.”
Dr. Yu introduced herself and then explained my situation. I suffered burns over the bottom part of my body. I also had another heart attack that probably would have been fatal had the rescuers not arrived when they did. She told me that the man who had been following me called in the emergency. There was a struggle in my head over whether to thank him or blame him, eventually blaming myself for not watching where I was going.
She also explained that they had covered my eyes because they weren’t sure if they had been damaged. My upper torso had been laying over the steering wheel and the flames had come up from the floor area. She then proceeded to remove the bandages, examining and testing my eyes.
“I don’t see any damage in either eye, and you appear to be seeing okay. At least that part of your body is unscathed. I was hopeful they were fine considering that you still have your eyebrows.”
Dr. Yu then spent time going through the treatment plan set up for me, along with a possible timetable for release. She finished by asking, “Do you have any questions for me?”
Given her thorough explanation of everything, I couldn’t think of any until she started to walk out. “Do you know where my phone is? It was charging in the vehicle during my trip.”
“I can’t say for sure, but I would guess it is still in the vehicle. From what I was told, if it was anywhere near the dash, there’s a good chance it was destroyed. The investigators will be here soon to get a statement from you about the crash. They should be able to help you. ”
“Great,” I mumbled as she walked out. “My managers are going to think I took their advice and turned it off. No one’s going to know I’m here.”
The investigators arrived and I shared with them what I could remember of the incident. They told me they had a statement from the other driver, and it mostly matched my version. I asked them to pass along my thanks for his help. After all, he did save my life.
A little later, the nurse came in again to treat my wounds. As she uncovered the groin area, I evidently blushed.
“Relax,” she told me, “I’m sure I’ve seen more of these things than you have.”
I couldn’t argue with her on that point, but it didn’t lessen my self-consciousness. After she finished, I was left alone to ponder my situation. It was almost exactly ten years ago that I found myself in this very same spot…alone in a hospital room.
You recovered from that. You can recover from this.
My thoughts didn’t really convince me though. If it hadn’t been for my fellow students at Yamaku, I might not have found a reason to go on. Well, I guess my science teacher, Mutou, helped motivate me also.
I should look him up sometime to thank him.
As my classmates came to mind, the image of Hanako came front and center.
It must have been so terrible to go through this as a child. The pain is bothering me, so I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to tolerate it. I should call her. Oh, I don’t have my phone. I need some books.
With boredom overtaking me, I fell asleep.
Chapter Two: I Know That Person
The opening of the door ended my light nap. A female voice said, “We thought that you might be able to talk with this patient. He was severely burned in a vehicle accident last night.”
Entering the room, the nurse continued, “This is…”
“Hisao?” another voice exclaimed.
As my eyes turned to the door, I thought I was dreaming.
It couldn’t be her.
“Hisao, what happened? Are you okay? Of course, you’re not okay or you wouldn’t be here. Are you in pain?”
“Hanako, is that really you?”
“I see you two know each other. I guess I’ll continue with my rounds then,” the nurse said.
“I can’t believe you’re here. It must be a hallucination from the drugs,” I said.
“No, I’m work here. How did you end up like this though? Kori said something about an accident.”
We sat and talked for a long while. I explained the circumstances that left me burned from the hips down and she tried to prepare me mentally for the long road to recovery. I also told her about the heart attack that occurred before the medics arrived. Eventually, we were interrupted by Nurse Kori again.
“Time for burn treatment. Do you want me to kick her out?”
“No, that’s not necessary. She can stay if she wants. She’s been down this road so I don’t think it will shock her.”
“All right,” she said, lifting off the protective sheet.
Having not looked earlier, the shock of the first glance must have registered on my face because Hanako quickly said, “They will heal, Hisao.” Her eyes showed the same emotion that I was feeling though.
I dropped my head back onto the pillow and covered my eyes with my hands. Hanako placed a hand on my shoulder. “It will be okay.”
“You’re sure?” I mumbled.
“Yes,” she answered with confidence. “I will be here to help you through this.”
“That will make me feel better about my chances,” I replied, dropping my hands to my chest.
Nurse Kori finished her work and left us alone again. Hanako grabbed my left hand in hers and squeezed it. Studying her eyes for a few moments I ask, “There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”
Caught off-guard, she stammered, “I… I don’t know everything, so I can’t say.”
“Can’t say what? If there’s something I should know, please tell me. I’d rather it come from you than someone else.”
After a long pause she said, “First understand, I am not a doctor, and this is not a medical opinion.” I nodded and she continued. “You might not be able to father any children depending on how things heal.”
It didn’t faze me much which she quickly noticed. “That doesn’t upset you?”
“There wasn’t much chance of that happening anyhow.”
“Why? You’re not an old man.”
Tears began to well up in my eyes. “For the same reason that I stopped returning your calls and texts. I was too busy in my work. I haven’t been on a date since…Yamaku and those weren’t even dates. Just me spending time with you and Lily. Hanako, I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve to be ignored like that. Not ignored, but I was always in a meeting when you called and wanted to call you back but never remembered when there was time to respond. Then, you stopped calling and I figured that was it. There were many times when I had my finger on the call button but couldn’t press it. I guessed that you had moved on and my chance to stay in your life was gone.”
Hanako nodded and said, “I thought you had probably found someone and by ignoring me I would give up. That’s what I did.”
“Hanako, I would never do that to you. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for you and Lily. Seeing how much you both overcame in your lives, I was ashamed because my problem seemed so minor. I was so proud I was of you when you became a nurse. You’re a different person now than you were in school. The transformation is incredible. There is such confidence in you now. It makes you all the more beautiful.”
That comment brought a familiar reaction from her, gaze dropping to the floor and cheeks turning bright red.
“I’m sorry if I was out of line saying that, but I mean it. The only beauty of real value is what radiates from inside a person. You becoming a nurse is evidence of your inner beauty. You want to help others in their time of pain, grief, and sorrow. That’s a wonderful thing.”
“I better be going now. I have to work early tomorrow and need to sleep before that. I will stop by tomorrow after my shift if you want.”
“I hope you will. Hey, before you go, would you call Nakai Products for me? I don’t have my phone and I need to let someone know where I am.”
She looked up the number for me and I left a message for Mikai.
“Do you want to call your parents too while I’m here?”
“No.”
“Don’t you think they should know?”
I remember Hanako telling me that she lost her parents in the fire that left her scarred for life. She doesn’t know about my relationship with mine or rather, the lack of one.
“They’re not going to drop everything and fly here anyhow. Mikai will drive up tomorrow and get me set up with what I need. I can call them tomorrow.”
“Hisao, you could have died.”
“Hanako, they left me by myself in the hospital for the final month last time. Then they dumped me into the school at Yamaku, so they didn’t have to watch over me, not that they had for years. It’s just…I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you. I know my parents and I’ll be surprised if they even come to see me, especially since it looks like I’ll recover.”
Her mouth opened for a second, but her face became downcast, and she slowly walked out the door with a final, “Good night, Hisao. Sleep well.”
Chapter Three: Road to Recovery
The view from my bed through the window showed nothing but gray. The extra pain medication was kicking in which meant the nurse would be in soon to clean the wounds and do some physical therapy. Even with the meds there was more pain than normal, but Hanako told me it’s part of the healing process. I tried to picture her going through this as a child to keep my mind occupied. It was hard to fathom how she did it.
The investigators were nice enough to check my vehicle for the phone and laptop that were left behind. Unfortunately, both were destroyed in the fire. Mikai showed up shortly before lunch. Replacing those items became his top priority for the day. We also set up a schedule for meeting times when I could be updated on project statuses. After a little conversation about the accident, he left to return to Tokyo.
Hanako did come to visit after her shift was over. She walked over to the hospital chair and sat on the edge of the seat, placing her purse on the floor. With an uncertain look she asked, “How did things go this morning?”
“Breakfast? Oh, it was okay. Nothing to write home about.”
Opening her mouth to respond, she stopped suddenly. Then she looked at me and sternly said, “I was talking about the physical therapy.”
“Oh, that,” I laughed. “That was a breeze. Nothing to it.”
The look that followed my response was borderline angry. I figured I better stop with the jokes. “It hurt…a lot. I have to ask, how did you do it? If I had gone through this at eight years old, I would have been screaming for my mommy.”
Her eyes went glassy as she thought back to those days. “I cried…a lot. One of the nurses had given me a doll. I remember squeezing her so hard as they would move my arm or leg. She was almost as flat as a paper doll by the time my therapy was finished.”
“You are an incredible young woman.”
Blushing for a moment, she guided the conversation in a different direction. “Speaking of your mommy, have you called her yet?”
“I can’t…no phone.”
“You can use mine.”
“No good. I don’t have the number memorized. Before you ask, I don’t know my dad’s number either. It’s the curse of the cell phone era.”
That stern voice returned as she told me, “I’m not letting you off the hook. When are you getting a phone?”
“The IT worker will be here tomorrow with Mikai to get me set up. I don’t know how much they will be able to recover though. I doubt that I even had my parents’ numbers on my work phone. I might not be able to call them until I can get to the store and replace my personal phone.”
My answer was clearly unsatisfactory to her. She stood, reached over to grab my hand and said, “Promise me that you will call them as soon as you can…for me. No excuses.”
Looking into her violet-colored eyes, I couldn’t say no. “I will. I promise you.”
“I know you aren’t happy with the way they’ve treated you, but people change, right?”
“I can’t argue with that. Seeing the change in you has shocked me.”
“Yeah, about that.”
“What? I can see how your behavior has changed. You carry yourself with much more confidence now than you did at school.”
“That’s only here, Hisao. This hospital is somewhat of a safe zone for me. My work is mostly in the office, so there’s not much interaction with patients or their families. The staff here has been relatively stable, which allowed me to get to know them at a slow pace. I am comfortable here.”
“Going out in public still bothers you, huh?”
Looking at the floor and nodding, she answers, “I avoid it as much as I can. I have groceries delivered to my house.”
“I was bored earlier and started thinking about the changes to come. I realized that I might never wear shorts again or go swimming. The stares and comments would surely bother me.”
“I’m sorry. I never even thought about you being bored. Is there anything I can get you to pass the time?”
“Now that you mention it, I would love a good book. I used to keep one in the office for quiet times.”
“I have one with me.” She reached for her purse. “You can have it.”
“I’ll survive one more night without one. I don’t want to take it from you before you’re finished.”
“There’s only one chapter left to go. I could finish it now if you wouldn’t think it rude of me. Then you could have it for tonight.”
“Well, it would be nice to have it tonight. I don’t want to feel like you have to though.”
She found her bookmark and started reading. Watching her brought a smile to my face. Noticing, she asked, “Why are you smiling like that?”
“I was thinking of the first time I met you. You were sitting in a beanbag at the back of the library. I sat down near you and started reading. Before too long, you started acting weird and ran out of the room.”
“Weird? You thought I was weird?” she pouted.
“Look at it from my point-of-view. You suddenly stood up, said ‘Igottogodosomething” and took off like a dog chasing a rabbit.”
As I recounted the incident, her pout faded to a smile, and then she laughed. “I guess most people would say that was weird.”
“I tried to chase you down, but you were too fast. When I asked Lily if she had seen someone run by, she asked who it was. When I described you, she took off to find you. I didn’t have a clue what I had done wrong until later. Knowing you now, I can say without reservation that you are not weird.”
“Thank you. Now, if you want me to finish this before dinner, you’ll have to let me read.” After a short pause she added, “And don’t stare at me.”
I smiled and said, “No promises.”
Chapter Four: Reconnecting
The book that Hanako left me was such a blessing. It completely took my mind off my troubles and left me tired enough to get some good sleep. I awoke feeling more refreshed than the day before and was greeted by a beautiful sunrise outside my window. There was another thing that brightened my morning. Hanako must have visited before her shift and left a note of encouragement on my table.
A reminder I would need that incentive came when the nurse arrived to deliver my extra pain medication for physical therapy. The warning from Hanako about the need to stretch my joints didn’t make it bearable. Reading the book didn’t protect me from the pain. The nurse repeatedly asked me to move things on my own to see how far I could go. Then she would stretch them even farther. Hips, knees, ankles, even toes had to be moved each day to keep the skin flexible.
I was so glad when Mikai Fujita entered the room, along with Yuki Harada from the IT department. It was strange being so disconnected from work.
“Good news, Nakai,” Mikai said. “We have a laptop with everything restored. Harada said it was no problem for them.”
“No problem for them maybe. For me it was a problem,” I replied. “I dislike being out of touch. What about a phone?”
Yuki pulled a company phone from the pocket of his jacket. “We were able to recover many of your business contacts with the help of Fujita and some of the other managers. You may have to reenter some from your e-mail contacts list. I hope this helps a little.”
“Very good, Harada. Be sure to thank everyone involved. It is greatly appreciated,” I replied. “What about my personal phone. How do I get that replaced and, more importantly, get my contact list back?”
“Your service provider might be able to help you with that,” Yuki said. “One of my co-workers accidentally dropped his while doing some deep-sea fishing. They were able to get everything back for him from the cloud.”
“That would be great except that I’m stuck in here. I should call my parents.”
“Use the phone in your hand,” Mikai suggested.
As I shake my head, he adds, “You’re the CEO. No one’s going to…”
“No, Fujita. I am not going to tell my employees that they can’t use the work phone for personal business and then do it myself.”
Mikai paused to think while Yuki looked down at the floor, uncomfortable with the tenseness. “I should not have recommended that. I apologize. Your integrity is one of the things your employees like about you.”
“Sometimes an idea seems fine at first but when it is evaluated thoroughly flaws appear. That is why we investigate business opportunities so carefully. I know that you were trying to help me but please keep in mind that the rules we make apply to all of us equally.”
“Yes, Nakai.”
Yuki got me started on the laptop and I was relieved to be back at work. With Mikai’s agreement, I sent Yuki back to Tokyo in the company vehicle. Then I started on the task of catching up with e-mails and phone messages. We didn’t get very far when the nurse came in to give me the extra pain meds.
“Fujita, I’m afraid we will have to recess until later. Please come back after lunch and we will finish.”
“Actually, I think you are up to date with most everything. Besides, I thought we all agreed that you were to take this week off.”
“I feel like I’ve been gone a week. My employees will think I’m slacking off.”
He shook his head and replied, “No one would think that of you. Everyone sees your involvement and interest. You are an inspiration to your employees and the reason for our success.”
It was now my turn to shake my head. “Fujita, you are wrong about that. I am but one man. I have surrounded myself with great people like you who I depend on to help me make good decisions. This situation I am in is proof of that. I was confident that you could fill in for me or I never would have agreed to leave for a week. I am thankful for the help you are providing.”
As he gave a small bow for the complement, I continued. “I would like to ask one thing of you as a friend. This is personal business, and I don’t want you to feel that you have to agree. I would appreciate it if you could go to the phone store for me. I will give you my account information to see if they can restore my contacts. I will repay you for the phone, along with transportation costs you incur. You can return to Tokyo this afternoon.”
He returned a couple of hours later having accomplished each task. I was not surprised that the phone store called to verify my information and to get my pin number. I felt whole again, at least in technological terms.
I thanked him for his efforts and told him to go home. He bowed deeply before leaving and I began the emotional fight over the phone calls facing me.
If I call them, they might come. I don’t really want them to. The temptation to share my feelings would be hard to fight. That would end up in a mess. Maybe I can downplay how serious my condition is.
I understand Hanako’s point though. She’ll be pretty angry with me if I don’t keep my promise. Our situations aren’t really that different in my mind. Even though my parents are still alive, they are almost dead to me. We’ve seen each other what, twice in the last ten years? Each visit was more like a business meeting than a family gathering. Why bother?
In the end, I remembered my promise to Hanako and called my mom. She offered to come and visit but I told her it wouldn’t be necessary, and that was only after I suppressed a sarcastic remark. I followed that conversation with a call to my dad, having essentially the same exchange with him.
When Hanako entered the room, I saw her face light up when she noticed the two phones on my table. I was not excited about what would happen next.
Chapter Five: Reconciliation, Sort Of
“Well, did you call them?”
“I kept my promise and called both of them.”
“So, when are they coming to see you?”
“They’re not. I told them I wouldn’t be here that long and would call them when I get discharged to my vacation house.”
I turned my head to avoid seeing her reaction, but that didn’t stop the message from coming through loud and clear.
“You’re telling me you lied to them to keep them from coming? Hisao, I don’t understand you. Why would you do that?”
“Because I don’t want to deal with them. All they want to know is if I’m okay. If I tell them that they can continue on with their busy lives. They don’t have time to waste on me. They don’t want to be here so why should I make them feel like they ought to.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say. I cannot believe that your mother and father who raised such a wonderful, caring young man would feel that way.”
I could see fire in her eyes, but I kept pushing. “I’ve known them for 28 years. All I have to do is say that I’m fine and it releases them from any obligation towards me. They’ve done their parental duty by asking. It’s the way things are with us, and I accepted that a long time ago…before I came to Yamaku.”
“You won’t even consider they might have changed. You won’t even give them a chance. I would give anything to talk to my parents again. You have that chance, and you keep throwing it away. That hurts me, Hisao. It really hurts.”
As she began to walk to the door, I regretted my words. “Hanako, please…”
“I’m sorry. I need to leave.”
The sting of her words kept digging into me like porcupine quills. A memory of her birthday when we were at Yamaku came to mind. She had withdrawn for several days and was an emotional wreck. Lily said it was because she felt guilty for having survived while her parents died. I had opened those wounds again for her and I felt horrible.
She stopped visiting after work, so I tried calling but she didn’t answer. I sent text after text apologizing and got nothing in return. It wasn’t until I notified her of my pending release that she texted back.
Do you need someone to drive you to your house?
A glimmer of hope! I had to temper my excitement and find some way to alleviate the damage I’d caused. The only thing that came to mind was to give my parents a chance. I really didn’t want to put myself through that though. There’s not much sense trying to walk through a locked door. I wished that I could get her to see the situation from my point of view. There was a more immediate concern on my mind.
Yes, but I need some clothes. I can’t leave in this hospital gown. Would you pick me up a sweat suit or something simple like that? A pair of slippers too. I will pay you back when I get my things replaced.
When she came to the room, there was no hint of a smile, not that I really expected one. Still, I was thankful to have contact with her at all. She took my note and left straightaway without saying two words.
On discharge day she was still silent aside from talk about the drive. I had pulled the map up on my laptop so she could see the route. She studied it intently, finally nodding to indicate that she was ready.
As the nurse wheeled me outside, I was dismayed to see a smaller car awaiting me. We tried to get my body into the front seat, but the pain was too much for me. The back seat became the better option, and I was able to slide in with much less discomfort.
Getting out of the car didn’t go as smoothly. It took me a few minutes to work myself out of the door and by the time I stood up, the pain was throbbing. Hanako grabbed my left arm and wrapped it around her shoulders to stabilize me. Approaching the door, I warned her that it might be a bit dusty inside.
I was surprised to find everything in good order and made a mental note to thank the caretakers for their diligence. She led me over to the sofa and I eagerly sat down, which turned into reclining after a few moments. She grabbed some pillows and elevated my legs.
“Thanks, Hanako, for helping me today. Remind me to do something nice for you to show my appreciation.”
She gave me a serious look and said, “If you want to do something nice for me, call your parents right now.”
The shock took a few seconds to wear off, but I took out my phone and said, “Thanks for reminding me.”
“And put on the speakerphone so I can hear the whole conversation.”
Opening my mouth to protest, the look on her face told me to keep quiet. Having gotten back on speaking terms, however limited, led me to obey her command. Mom answered the phone after a single ring.
“Hisao! I’m glad you called. This means you’re finally out of the hospital, right? When you said you would be out before too long, I wasn’t expecting it to be this long. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, Mom, I was discharged today and I’m okay. I might have misjudged how long I would have to stay.”
I made the mistake of looking at Hanako when I said that and got an icy stare in return. I started to wonder if she was going to rat me out.
“Why does it sound like I’m on speakerphone?”
“Well, my nurse is here. Funny story, a girl I met at Yamaku ended up becoming a nurse. We got reacquainted at the hospital and she’s been a godsend to me. I think she wanted to hear your voice since she’s never met you. Her name is Hanako Ikezawa.”
“Hello, Hanako. Thank you for taking care of my son. If he gives you any trouble, be sure to call me. Have him give you my number. I know he can be a little difficult at times.”
My face turned deathly pale as I waited to see what Hanako would say. An evil grin appeared on her face as she answered, “That sounds like a good plan. He does tend to be a little stubborn sometimes.”
“Hisao, don’t make me come visit you. You do what they tell you. Have you been taking your medicines as you should?”
“Yes, Mom. The hospital made sure of that. Hanako is aware of my condition as well. I should tell you that I suffered another heart attack during the accident. I think it was because the air bag hit me in the chest.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that before? Don’t tell me you didn’t want me to worry, either. I’ve been worried ever since your last call.”
“You didn’t need to worry. The hospital had everything under control,” I said, getting a finger wagged at me. Hanako then pointed to herself and made a talking motion with her hand. I needed to end the call before she jumped in.
“Mom, I have to go. It’s been nice talking with you. I’ll be fine.”
“Hisao, wait! Where are you staying. I want the address.”
“Mom, I’m fine. You don’t need to come,” I protested, as Hanako reached for my phone. I pulled the phone away and switched off the speaker phone garnering me another icy glare.
“Okay, fine. Do you have a pen and paper handy?”
I barely ended the call when Hanako confronted me. “Do you know how close I came to blurting everything out? How can you keep this from them? What if they decide to show up here? How will you explain yourself?”
“Hanako, please, calm down. Everything is under control. They’re too busy with work to come here. I’ll keep healing and it will all work out in the end. My scars won’t even be visible, so they don’t need to know about the fire.”
“You’re purposely deceiving them, and I don’t like it. I feel like you have deceived me too.”
“In what way?”
“You said they don’t care about you. I don’t think that’s true at all. It’s obvious that your mother is worried about you. It seems to me you are shutting them out and you’re afraid I’m going to blow your cover.”
She reached over to the table and snatched my phone. I tried to grab it back, but she turned away from me. I started to get up, but she ran to the door.
“You can’t catch me, and I’ll go out to my car and lock myself inside. I am going to copy your mother’s number so you might as well accept it.”
Seeing I was hopelessly defeated, I fell back on the sofa. “When you finish, would you please get me some water and my medicines. I think you’ve given me a headache.”
Chapter Six: That Was Unexpected
After registering my mom’s number, she went out to her car to retrieve my belongings. She re-entered the house pulling a travel bag behind her. Noticing my curious stare, she said, “I’m staying here tonight.”
“Really? I don’t recall giving permission for that.”
“If I’m going to be your home nurse, I have to be here tomorrow to see how the procedures are to be carried out. Since I’m not sure what time that will be, I have to stay. Now, which bedroom shall I use?”
Stunned by her proclamation, I managed to say, “Down the hall, last door on the left.” Then, recovering some of my senses, I called after her, “I don’t think the bed has ever been used.”
Who is this girl? It’s definitely not the same Hanako I knew in Yamaku.
She passed through the main room into the kitchen, opening and closing one cupboard door after another. “Where do you keep the…never mind, I found them.”
“I have no idea where anything is. I haven’t been here in years. I should have sold the place but now I’m glad I didn’t.”
She approached with a glass of water and started doling out my meds.
“Of course, if I didn’t have this place I wouldn’t have been in the accident and gotten reacquainted with you.”
She remained stoically quiet and held out a tray of pills. The ticking of the clock was the only noise as I swallowed the last one. I guess I’m not back in her good graces yet.
“So, when did you become my home nurse?”
“I arranged it when I discovered your discharge date. I’m not just an office worker. I am a trained nurse. I need to see the treatments being done and find out what physical therapy you need. Don’t think I’m going to baby you, either.”
“I was more worried that you would take your anger out on me. I can tell you’re still upset.”
“I really don’t want to talk about that anymore. I cried a river that night and I’m tired of crying.”
“Then why volunteer to be my nurse if I’m upsetting you that much?”
“Do you remember my birthday at Yamaku when I shut myself in my room for three days?” I nodded and she continued. “You kept checking on me, even when I tried to get you to leave me alone. I think I even got mad at you. I might not have told you later, but I was glad that you did. It let me know how much you cared and that meant a lot to me.”
“What does that have to do with this situation?”
“Your parents are still alive which means you still have a chance to patch things up with them. I’m not going to let you throw that away. I will do everything I can to make you at least try.”
I laughed a little which brought a quizzical look to her face. “I’m sorry. A movie quote just popped into my head. The force is strong with this one.”
We both laughed a little and the conversation moved on to other things.
After dinner I was back on the sofa and was thinking about my situation. I knew I wasn’t on good footing with Hanako, and it bothered me. There was another issue too. She must have noticed my mood.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just thinking.”
“About what? You seem upset.”
“I don’t like the way things have gone. I realize that I hurt you and I’m sorry for that. When I tried to apologize, you kept ignoring me.”
“I was too upset. I didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”
“You stopped coming to the room. I started to feel like I did before I got to Yamaku. The girl who cared about me stopped visiting and I was alone. I didn’t want to be like that boy again…a boy who thought about giving up; a boy whose life was taken away from him.”
“Hisao, I’m sorry but I couldn’t…”
“I understand that and I’m not blaming you. I’ve been thinking though and maybe I can do what you want me to. It’s going to take time though. I can’t just push all those feelings aside just like you couldn’t with your birthday. I’m willing to try.”
“I won’t ask you for more than that.”
“I do have one thing to ask of you though. Would you stay with me until this rehab is finished? I mean, stay with me in this house. I don’t want to be alone.”
She walked over and brushed away the tears that were flowing from my eyes.
“Yes, I will do that for you.”
It didn’t take long for us to settle into a routine. I would have dinner ready when she got home from work. She wasn’t thrilled about me moving around too much without her being home saying she didn’t want to find me on the floor and unable to get up. I was extra careful though and I think it helped me with my flexibility. Extra pain meds followed the food, and P.T. took place when those pills kicked in.
We had finished therapy one night and Hanako was in the shower. A knock on the door interrupted my reading. I slowly made my way over and hollered “Coming” when they knocked again. I opened the door and froze in horror.
After a couple of seconds, I managed to say, “Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?”
“We came to make sure that you’re okay. Can we come in?”
“I’m sorry, yes, sure. Come in. I can’t believe you’re here.”
As I closed the door, I noticed that Dad had two bags in tow. I started to worry about how things were going to unfold. The first act of the play started a few seconds later.
“Hisao, who were you talking…” Hanako’s eyes opened wide in panic, as she pulled on the tie of her robe. “I have to get dressed. Please excuse me.”
Turning back to my parents, I saw their eyes were also gaping only for them, it was shock. Dad was the one who broke the silence.
“We were hoping to stay here with you tonight, but I think we better find a hotel to stay in, given the situation.”
“No, Dad. You’re welcome to stay here. Please sit down and I’ll explain after she comes out.”
They slowly made their way to the sofa and whispered to each other. I held my tongue, not wanting the situation to escalate.
As soon as she came out of the bedroom, she said, “I should go.”
“No. You wanted to meet my parents and they’re here. Mom. Dad. This is Hanako Ikezawa. I first met her at Yamaku where we became friends. We lost touch for a while but then got reacquainted when they took me to the hospital she works at. She is my home nurse who takes care of my wounds and physical therapy. There is nothing immoral going on between us. I asked her to stay here so she wouldn’t have to do a lot of driving back and forth, and for other reasons I won’t go into. Hanako, this is my mother, Tori, and my father, Koji.”
After the introductions, both parties starting badgering me, saying that they should leave. I finally had enough and started yelling, “I don’t want anyone to leave. I want you all to stay here tonight and we will talk about things tomorr…”
Pain began to well up inside me, but it wasn’t from my legs. I saw fear reflected in their eyes as I grabbed my chest.
Relax. Breathe. Slower. Heart rate is slowing. Slow, steady breaths. Okay. I’m okay.
“Son, what happened? Did you just have another heart attack?” Dad asked.
“It’s okay. My heart started going too fast. It’s under control now.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? I think we should take you to the hospital,” Mom said.
“I’m okay. It’s happened before. I just…can we please all go to bed and talk tomorrow. I can’t deal with all this right now.”
My parents slowly took their things into the main bedroom. Hanako stayed, still looking fearfully at me. I walked over to her and said, “It’s okay.”
“No. I’ve pushed you too hard to do this. I shouldn’t have…”
Placing a finger on her lips, I replied, “Everything you’ve said to me about this was right. You’ve done nothing wrong. It was always going to be a problem. As for you being here, remember, that was my request. I will deal with that. Please, go get some sleep. You have to work tomorrow. I will talk with my parents while you’re gone and things will be settled, for better or worse.”
I could see my words did nothing to reassure her, so I reached around and hugged her. She wrapped her arms tight around me and I heard a sob. Breaking apart, I wiped the tears from her face and kissed her.
Chapter Seven: Reconciliation
I didn’t know why I kissed her. It just happened. She looked back at me with dreamy eyes and the faintest hint of a smile. Then she cupped her hands around my head and kissed me back.
“Hisao, do you have an extra…Oh! Sorry. I …” Dad said.
As Hanako went scurrying to her bedroom, I called to him. “Dad, can you come here please?”
“Son, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
The jolt of what occurred still affecting me, I stammered, “I…I just kissed a girl for the first time. I don’t…know why I did. Then…she kissed me back.” Turning to look at him, I could only shake my head in disbelief.
“Well, it is a natural thing if you’re attracted to someone but, wait, did you say first time?” I shook my head and he continued. “You’re 28 and that was the first time? I mean, I guess there’s nothing wrong with that but, wow! First time. Anyway, I was wondering if you had a spare charger for a laptop. I must have forgotten mine.”
“Just use mine. It’s on the counter over there.”
“Thanks. First time. Wow,” he said returning to the bedroom.
Despite the stress of the day, sleep eluded me. Thinking about my action only left me puzzled. I had thought about kissing her when we were at Yamaku but was afraid of scaring her and making a mess of things. I was a young, naïve boy then.
Do I still feel attracted to her? She kissed me back! She must have feelings for me.
Next, the vision of my father’s face when he saw us came to mind. I had told him there was nothing immoral going on and then he saw us kissing. They’re going to have a hard time believing that now. That was the least of my problems with them though.
Since I couldn’t sleep, I made sure to have breakfast ready for Hanako before she left for work. Sneaking up behind me while I was plating her food, she wrapped her arms around my waist. I turned around to see her smile, then pucker her lips for a kiss.
“I could get used to this,” I told her as we ate.
“Me too,” she said. “I have to run now. We’ll talk more later. I hope things go well today with your parents.”
“Thanks. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it though.”
Another kiss and a smile and she was on her way. My parents came out a few minutes later. I motioned for them to sit down and started preparing breakfast for them. I glanced back at them once and was taken back in time. Dad had his laptop open and was sifting through the stock markets, occasionally entering something on his phone. Mom was on her phone reading e-mails. It was like I was thirteen again, just before everything went bad. I stuffed my emotions away and plated their food.
“My, that’s an impressive looking breakfast,” Mom said. “Did you learn by watching those cooking shows on television?”
Fighting the urge to say, Somebody had to teach me, I simply said, “Yes.”
There was minimal conversation while they ate, but that wasn’t unusual. With them if was always business, business, business. I felt my frustration growing with each passing minute.
Finishing the last of his eggs, Dad said, “I suppose there’s no sense postponing this anymore. Shall we?”
I refilled everyone’s coffee and followed them into the main room. I had them sit on the sofa, tossing my collection of pillows onto the floor. I sat in the recliner to their right and took a deep breath.
“You look tired, honey,” Mom said. “You didn’t sleep well, did you?”
“No, I didn’t sleep at all last night. Too much on my mind. I want to start with last night. I’m sure Dad told you what he saw.”
“Yes, he did. He kept saying it was your first kiss. Is that true?”
“Yes, it’s true. I’ve always been too busy with the business to get involved…even to go on dates. Another thing that is true, there has been nothing immoral going on here. In fact, it’s not possible.”
“What do you mean, not possible? A man and a woman living together? Explain how it’s not,” Dad said.
“Well, I wasn’t entirely honest with you about my accident. It was a little more serious than I let on.”
With that, I pulled up the legs of my sweatpants. Dad’s bottom jaw dropped, and Mom gasped, placing her hand over her mouth. I slowly let go of my pants and said, “The burns go all the way to my hips. There were issues with the healing process, and I will not be able to…um…function in that capacity anymore.”
“That’s terrible,” Mom said. “Were there any other injuries?”
“I think the bigger question is, why would you try to hide this from us?” Dad asked.
“Would it have made any difference?” I said as the dam holding back my emotions collapsed. “Would you have come sooner, maybe? Honestly, I can’t believe you’re here at all. I told Hanako you wouldn’t.”
“Why would you think that?” Mom asked. The hurt look on her face was sending daggers into my heart. “What have we ever done to make you think we don’t care about you?”
“Care about me? After you left me alone for a month in that hospital only to show up and tell me that you were dumping me in a new school. Hey son, sorry we haven’t been around. Business and all. But hey, we found a new school for you where you won’t know anybody. Doesn’t that sound great?”
Ignoring the shock on heir faces I continued. “So, I go there and there’s people missing body parts, and blind people, kids in wheelchairs. They all look at me and wonder if I know it’s a school for the disabled. It was like I didn’t belong there either. I almost wanted to flip my tie around my neck and walk around with my shirt unbuttoned so they could see my scar. Truth be told, I don’t know if I’d be alive right now if it hadn’t been for Lily and Hanako.”
“Hisao, don’t say that!” Mom cautioned me.
“Why not? It’s the truth. I’ve pretty much been alone since I was thirteen and you both decided that I could stay by myself. Sure, it started out as a day or two here and there. It wasn’t long before it was all week, every week.”
“But you showed you could handle it. That’s the only reason. You were always mature for your age. Your grades were always good, and you never got into trouble,” Dad said.
“Just because I could didn’t mean it was good for me.”
“I can see that now,” Dad said. “Why didn’t you say anything back then. Whenever I asked you how things were going, you would say ‘Fine’. We could never get more than two words out of you. Then, after university, you hardly called at all. I figured that, no news was good news; that you were happy and enjoying life.”
“You were happy with me out of the way. Lily’s sister told me about their family. Her parents were big shots in some company. Akira said her parents didn’t want any of their business associates to know about her and her blindness. So, they put her in Yamaku. It was the same with me. ‘Let’s put him in that school and they will take care of him so we can keep on with our careers and not have to worry about him.’ I was nothing but an inconvenience to you. That’s all I’ve ever been.”
Chapter Eight: Further Reconciliation
Uncontrollable sobbing overtook me. Mom walked over and grabbed my hand, leading me over to the sofa. She sat beside me and pulled my head to her shoulder.
“Hisao, that is not true,” she said in an unsteady voice. “You are our son, and we love you. When the issue with your heart came up, the doctors advised us that your high school couldn’t offer the kind of protection that you would need. They told us about Yamaku and how they could help you, about their round-the-clock medical staffing and the physical therapy department. There were so many positives it seemed irresponsible for us to turn down that opportunity. We felt it was the best place you could be.”
Dad jumped in. “With regard to your hospital stay, you were there for four months. We used up all of our time off from work in the first three months. We couldn’t risk losing our jobs just to sit with you in your room. Besides, you hardly spoke to us at all, so it didn’t seem to make a difference if we were there or not. I guess your mother and I both assumed that the other one was stopping by once in a while. I see now that we were wrong. I’m sorry for that. I wish you had said something to us.”
I couldn’t stop myself from firing back. “Everybody left at once…you, my friends, Iwanako. There was no one. Eventually, I realized I was forgotten about. The nurses would look at me with such pity on their faces. They would spend a few minutes talking with me, but they had work to do. They couldn’t help me. I learned to deal with it by not dealing with it. All I had to do was tell you I was fine, everything was fine. Then we could all go on with our lives. That worked until Hanako…” The words stopped coming out.
“Hanako what, dear?” Mom asked.
“She told me I had to try and patch things up. Her parents died in the fire that gave her those scars. She misses them badly and said there was no way she would let me throw away the chance to make things right,” I sobbed. “Then you both show up here and I see that I was part of the problem and we kissed and now my life is upside down and…”
“Hisao, quiet down for a moment,” Mom said. “I don’t want a repeat of last night. Look, you’re obviously tired and overcome with emotions. Why don’t you go in and get some sleep? We’ll wake you up for dinner. We can talk more later.”
With a nod, I trudged wearily down the hallway. Sleep came almost immediately in the form of a dream. Hanako and I were at an estate. We walked arm-in-arm through the huge flower beds of roses, hydrangea, and irises. Rows and rows of plum trees and cherry trees surrounded the path. Spotting a tree swing, Hanako ran over to it.
Push me, Hisao.
Hanako, you’re too old for swings.
Please. My daddy used to push me. Please, just for a little while.
When she mentioned her dad, I couldn’t argue anymore. The smile on her face was more than enough reward. After slowing to a stop, she ran over and hugged me. I stared into her violet eyes and said, “Kiss me.” I closed my eyes and waited as she pressed her lips to mine. Slowly opening my eyes, the dream ended, and I found Hanako staring at me.
“What? You said, ‘Kiss me’, so I did,” she smiled.
Looking around, I was disappointed to find myself in a bedroom. The events from earlier in the day rushed back into my mind. “Mom and Dad…are they still here?”
“Yes. They asked me to wake you up. Your mother is making your favorite dinner and it’s almost ready.”
“Chicken curry? I haven’t had that in so long. I’ve never been able to make it as good as she does, even after she gave me the recipe.”
“Maybe it’s the love she puts into it that makes a difference.”
“You’ve been discussing our talk from this morning, I’m guessing.”
“Yes. They told me everything.”
“So, aren’t you going to say it?”
“What, I told you so? I don’t need to say it. I didn’t know it would turn out this way. I’m happy that you kept your promise and I hope that you can rebuild your family.”
“Somehow, thank you doesn’t seem enough, but I am grateful. I can’t believe the way my life has changed in the last month. The accident, finding you, you nagging me about my parents, them showing up out of the blue, our kisses last night, finding I was partially to blame for my family situation. My mind can hardly take it all in.”
“Hey, I didn’t nag you. I only tried to make you give them a chance. I’m glad I did. Your parents are really nice. They didn’t ask, but I told them about the fire and what I went through after the fire. They were very sympathetic and also thankful that I am here to help you with your burns. You told them about your, um, genitals?”
“Yeah. I was trying to make sure they knew there was nothing immoral going on between us. Dad catching us kissing last night put a lot of doubt in their minds. They would not be happy with our arrangement if I couldn’t convince them of the truth.”
“We better get going. They’re going to start doubting again if we stay in here too long,” she laughed. Before she could move away, I pulled her on top of me for another kiss. I wished that I could see that smile on her face forever.