A complete rip-off.
Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 1:52 am
I want to thank Aura, for writing ‘Unsocratic Dialogue‘, which this oekaki is heavily inspired by.
I would also like to thank Envy, for coming up such a wonderful line in ‘Emi-chan Side Story - Mollusks in the Wood’ I wont give away what line just yet, because that would ruin the surprise of when you finally read it. Also thanks to every one else I will be stealing ideas from… I mean paying homage to, aye that’s what I meant.
One final note, This is made mostly just for fun, but there is a message behind it all, one must only look for it.
Lets begin.
I am sitting at my computer, typing. You see I am writing this story, and as I am writing the story is unfolding, because its about me writing the things I am writing about at that very moment. Also what I am thinking of as well. Everything that is happening is happening right now. If you have seen Space Balls this should all be somewhat familiar to you.
I black out. When I come to, I am falling, falling, falling. I am in a great void, there is nothing around me. How I am supposed to move? I need direction!
“Then you will have it.”
A line suddenly sweeps appears below me. I am able to stand. This is all very strange, where am I, and what was that voice?
“I am you, or rather, your subconscious. Your location is within yourself, your free world, your imagination.”
This all sounds like something out of the final TV episodes of Evangelion.
“That’s because it is. Your imagination takes its form from the things you are most familiar with.”
I guess that means I can change my shape like Shinji did. I try it, it is rather fun, in fact I spend a few hours doing it. It got boring after awhile, so I stopped.
Well now what?
“How about some character interactions?”
Good idea! I start to envision someone in my mind, I must focus to bring them to life. I tighten up my body really hard, blood vessels erupt all over my body, my temperature starts to rise. My power level has increased to over 9000!
“What? 9000?!?
I think I am about to pass out, I also think I may have soiled my pants with all the strain. Everything starts growing dark… But alas! It has worked, a figure stands before me!
“…”
Its Shizune… A lot of good that does me, I don’t know sign language. I need to summon her interpreter.
I go through the same process as before, this time it goes much easier. I seem to be getting used to these things at least.
Ok Misha, I want you to translate the things I am telling you to Shizune.
“…”
They both stand in utter silence. Not even a nod of recognition.
“You need to be a character yourself in order to interact with them.”
Well how do I do that?
“You need to have quotation marks around the things you say, else it doesn’t work”
“Well then give me some! … Wow, my imagination sure does work fast.”
I was rather happy with myself for having gained another level of control. That all came crashing down once I realized I knew nothing to say. I have always been bad at small talk with girls, it seems I cannot escape even within my own mind.
“I can help you with that.”
With a wave of his hand my id (or was he my ego, superego perhaps? I’m just going to call him ies)
ies had conjured up in front of me a giant menu, it reads:
Talk about the weather
Ask about the La Li Lu Le Lo
Put it in
“S-so the weather sure has be-been nice mm-hmm?”
I am stuttering like some kind of clichéd comedy-romance protagonist. I can feel my whole body shake in anticipation for the much awaited answer.
“HAHAHAHA~!”
… I was taken aback by this sudden turns of events, but then it hits me with a blistering radiance. My personal view of Misha is that she is nothing but an annoying cackling idiot, therefore that is all I am able to imagine her as. For Shizune, I have always thought there was an insurmountable distance between us. I feel as though there is no way we can truly connect so the same goes for the one that I imagine. I was a slave to my own bias. I decide to try someone else, its worth a shot.
I will try Emi, yes, that has to go better. Suddenly the words ‘What he found was an lions’ pops into my head. I decide its best not to continue, as I am not prepared for what might happen next.
Hanako! Yes, things have to work out with her, after all she is my favorite, all that time we spent together. I focus this time, I don’t want to mess things up. Hanako materializes in front of me.
“Hey Hanako, how are you?”
She takes one look at me, I can see the absolute terror reflected in her cyclopean gaze. She bolts off, like a gazelle or something. I should of seen this coming. Ok I have had enough of this, lets rap things up, ies.
“Blah blah blah, needless angst, blah blah blah, unfunny joke, blah blah blah, overly long anecdote about how the surrounding environment reminds me of my mothers womb.”
Well, done. Yet something is still missing.
“How about a surprise ending? Those are always fun.”
Yes! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself (Though technically I did). I see dead people! Also I am dead myself, and you know who killed me? The feminists!
This is Kenji Seto, sighing off.
I would also like to thank Envy, for coming up such a wonderful line in ‘Emi-chan Side Story - Mollusks in the Wood’ I wont give away what line just yet, because that would ruin the surprise of when you finally read it. Also thanks to every one else I will be stealing ideas from… I mean paying homage to, aye that’s what I meant.
One final note, This is made mostly just for fun, but there is a message behind it all, one must only look for it.
Lets begin.
I am sitting at my computer, typing. You see I am writing this story, and as I am writing the story is unfolding, because its about me writing the things I am writing about at that very moment. Also what I am thinking of as well. Everything that is happening is happening right now. If you have seen Space Balls this should all be somewhat familiar to you.
I black out. When I come to, I am falling, falling, falling. I am in a great void, there is nothing around me. How I am supposed to move? I need direction!
“Then you will have it.”
A line suddenly sweeps appears below me. I am able to stand. This is all very strange, where am I, and what was that voice?
“I am you, or rather, your subconscious. Your location is within yourself, your free world, your imagination.”
This all sounds like something out of the final TV episodes of Evangelion.
“That’s because it is. Your imagination takes its form from the things you are most familiar with.”
I guess that means I can change my shape like Shinji did. I try it, it is rather fun, in fact I spend a few hours doing it. It got boring after awhile, so I stopped.
Well now what?
“How about some character interactions?”
Good idea! I start to envision someone in my mind, I must focus to bring them to life. I tighten up my body really hard, blood vessels erupt all over my body, my temperature starts to rise. My power level has increased to over 9000!
“What? 9000?!?
I think I am about to pass out, I also think I may have soiled my pants with all the strain. Everything starts growing dark… But alas! It has worked, a figure stands before me!
“…”
Its Shizune… A lot of good that does me, I don’t know sign language. I need to summon her interpreter.
I go through the same process as before, this time it goes much easier. I seem to be getting used to these things at least.
Ok Misha, I want you to translate the things I am telling you to Shizune.
“…”
They both stand in utter silence. Not even a nod of recognition.
“You need to be a character yourself in order to interact with them.”
Well how do I do that?
“You need to have quotation marks around the things you say, else it doesn’t work”
“Well then give me some! … Wow, my imagination sure does work fast.”
I was rather happy with myself for having gained another level of control. That all came crashing down once I realized I knew nothing to say. I have always been bad at small talk with girls, it seems I cannot escape even within my own mind.
“I can help you with that.”
With a wave of his hand my id (or was he my ego, superego perhaps? I’m just going to call him ies)
ies had conjured up in front of me a giant menu, it reads:
Talk about the weather
Ask about the La Li Lu Le Lo
Put it in
“S-so the weather sure has be-been nice mm-hmm?”
I am stuttering like some kind of clichéd comedy-romance protagonist. I can feel my whole body shake in anticipation for the much awaited answer.
“HAHAHAHA~!”
… I was taken aback by this sudden turns of events, but then it hits me with a blistering radiance. My personal view of Misha is that she is nothing but an annoying cackling idiot, therefore that is all I am able to imagine her as. For Shizune, I have always thought there was an insurmountable distance between us. I feel as though there is no way we can truly connect so the same goes for the one that I imagine. I was a slave to my own bias. I decide to try someone else, its worth a shot.
I will try Emi, yes, that has to go better. Suddenly the words ‘What he found was an lions’ pops into my head. I decide its best not to continue, as I am not prepared for what might happen next.
Hanako! Yes, things have to work out with her, after all she is my favorite, all that time we spent together. I focus this time, I don’t want to mess things up. Hanako materializes in front of me.
“Hey Hanako, how are you?”
She takes one look at me, I can see the absolute terror reflected in her cyclopean gaze. She bolts off, like a gazelle or something. I should of seen this coming. Ok I have had enough of this, lets rap things up, ies.
“Blah blah blah, needless angst, blah blah blah, unfunny joke, blah blah blah, overly long anecdote about how the surrounding environment reminds me of my mothers womb.”
Well, done. Yet something is still missing.
“How about a surprise ending? Those are always fun.”
Yes! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself (Though technically I did). I see dead people! Also I am dead myself, and you know who killed me? The feminists!
This is Kenji Seto, sighing off.
