Shiina 2019
Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:37 pm
"Briiiii~iiing~!"
My hand instinctively shoots up into the air, and my palm quickly comes down onto my table, smacking the clutter on it a few times, before managing to find my alarm clock, and finally shutting it off with a satisfying whack.
It's a bright new day... and though I want to just stay in bed, I drag myself away from it; with a yawn, I get up... and get ready for work.
* * *
An upbeat tune, "Country Roads" by Meja, plays on my laptop as it sits on the kitchen table, while I hurriedly eat breakfast with one hand, with my other hand flipping through the pages of my sign language textbook; I'm both eating and going over today's lessons at the same time, because... well...
I really should just get up earlier, so I wouldn't always be in such a rush every day before school.
...or at least, that's what I keep telling myself to do, but then always end up going to bed late at night anyway.
As I chew, I flick my head and glance at my laptop's clock, accidentally getting some food on it. With a shock, I gasp through my stuffed face when I see how late I am; it looks like I'm going to have to run again if I want to make it to class on time.
I let out a little sigh, then frantically gobble up the rest of my breakfast in a single mouthful.
* * *
My well-worn running shoes pound the dirt as I race up the hill, with "Bye Bye My Crisis" by the Knight Sabers playing on my mp3 player.
The scenery rushes by as the cheerful music blares in my earbuds, filling me up with the energy I need to keep running.
It's like the music encourages me to not give up, and to not think about anything else that might slow me down.
* * *
The school's big black iron gate comes into view, and I run right through it.
Thankfully, or... maybe not, the students are all already seated by now, leaving the hallways clear for me to speed through...
Through the grounds, into the building, up the stairs, and with a screeching, skidding stop right outside my classroom.
With a few moments to catch my breath, I put away my mp3 player and steady myself at the doorway... then casually walk into class.
"Good morning~ everyone~!" I say cheerily as I sign to my students.
"Good morning, Miss Mikado," they greet me back respectfully. Yamaku Academy doesn't require its students to stand and bow as they greet their teachers in class, due to disabilities making even such a simple gesture difficult for some. But I should know this quite well already, since I was a student here myself... a dozen years ago...
"Has it really been that long now?" I wonder in my head as I set my bag down on my desk and instruct my pupils to open their books to today's lesson.
A feeling of ...deep tiredness? ...a touch of sadness, even? passes by me in an instant, before I banish the thought from my mind and focus on teaching.
* * *
After a tiring day of teaching and guiding young children to speak fluently with hand signals, I feel, as I often do, quite happy and satisfied.
The empty classroom is filled with orange light, mixing with shadows as the sun sets, and I gather up my notes and things as I prepare to head home.
When I walk up to the door, I'm startled to see someone standing there waiting for me! Someone wearing a nice outfit and a neat hat, with her long dark hair almost hiding half her face...
"Hanako? ...is that you?"
She smiles, and quietly nods...
* * *
Hanako has been through a lot in twelve years... she fell in love with Hisao... they married... and he... he... his heart condition took him away from her...
I saw her at the funeral... she was trying her best not to cry... I think I spoke to her, wanting to tell her something that would make it alright for her, but for some reason I can't remember what I said...
Hisao's parents were there for her, and they took care of her like she was their own daughter.
Somewhere on social media, I think I saw Akira or Lilly quietly talk about her, saying that she's been trying to write cookbooks. Shizune said she should try novels instead, I think.
All my memories of her come rushing back to me, as we walk back down the hill. With a more confident voice than I can remember, she tells me why she came to see me.
"...and when Yamaku Academy needed a new librarian, I decided to apply. They interviewed me, and accepted me. So... that's- that's how I ended up back here."
"Back here... just like old times?"
"Y-Yes... just like old times..."
It takes me a while to realise it, but I must have accidentally reminded Hanako of Hisao with what I said.
"Oh! I-I didn't mean like with Hisao- No! I mean-! I... I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"No-no, it's alright, Misha. I was already thinking about him when I first came back for the interview."
"Oh... okay...."
Why did I have to go and remind Hanako of Hisao like that? I'm such an idiot!
"Misha?"
"Uhh, huh? Yes, Hanako?"
"Speaking of old times... I've, I've always wondered... why did you stop calling me "Hanako-chan"?"
"Oh... uhh... I think... I think it was Shizune. She didn't really like Lilly back then, and you were Lilly's best friend, so..."
Hanako listens and nods, as we walk on, further down the hill.
* * *
From then on, every day, we would start walking together, up the hill to Yamaku, then back down again at the end of the day. I make sure to remember to go to bed earlier at night, so I can wake up properly in the morning, and walk alongside Hanako to school every day.
It's a very nice change of pace, not having to run up the hill every other morning. I don't have to carry my work shoes in my bag anymore too, since I don't need to wear my running sneakers to reach class on time anymore.
We talk a bit when we walk, Hanako and I, mostly about school stuff; sometimes about the other teachers, sometimes about the students, and other times about our own jobs.
More than once, I say to Hanako that she's changed a lot, like she's almost a different person than before.
And she'd say the same about me too, and point out that she's the only one in Yamaku Academy who still calls me Misha.
I start to remember those times when everyone did... those good old times...
The few times when Hanako and I were... close.
* * *
In my dreams, I would remember more and more about Hanako...
We would just be walking and talking together, sometimes with Lilly too...
And for some reason, I would hold her hand, and tell her how much I've missed her.
Before I could tell her the rest, the dream would end, and I would open my eyes...
I always try to hold on to those dreams, remembering her smile...
One day, Hanako asks me to go out dancing with her. She hasn't been around town much, but she saw a poster for a club nearby, and it looks like a nice place to go dancing.
I'm surprised that Hanako actually wants to go to a club, and that she knows how to dance. But then I remember her mentioning that she and Hisao used to dance a lot. It was a promise they made to each other: He would take up dancing as an exercise, to strengthen his heart, and Hanako would dance with him in a club, to help overcome her social anxieties.
I think... Hanako feels like she needs to keep her promise... even if it's just so to remember Hisao.
Of course, I agree to go with her, and we quickly decide on a date.
* * *
All day, I feel excited, ready to go dancing with Hanako. I don't think I've ever been this eager before in my life...
We meet up at the club, and as soon as I see her, I feel my heart taken away: Beneath her wide-brimmed hat and long coat, she's wearing a backless dress, and the beat-up sneakers I gave her.
She smiles so beautifully at me, and I tell her that I love her, that I always have...
I immediately stop myself, realising what I just said.
We both look at each other, stunned and unsure of what to say next...
Embarrassed and ashamed of myself, I start to turn to leave, but she quickly catches me by my arm.
Before I realise it, she's pulled me onto the dance floor...
I try to say something, but she just kisses me, and tells me with a sweet voice, singing along to the song they're playing:
"Shut up~ and dance with me~!"
My hand instinctively shoots up into the air, and my palm quickly comes down onto my table, smacking the clutter on it a few times, before managing to find my alarm clock, and finally shutting it off with a satisfying whack.
It's a bright new day... and though I want to just stay in bed, I drag myself away from it; with a yawn, I get up... and get ready for work.
* * *
An upbeat tune, "Country Roads" by Meja, plays on my laptop as it sits on the kitchen table, while I hurriedly eat breakfast with one hand, with my other hand flipping through the pages of my sign language textbook; I'm both eating and going over today's lessons at the same time, because... well...
I really should just get up earlier, so I wouldn't always be in such a rush every day before school.
...or at least, that's what I keep telling myself to do, but then always end up going to bed late at night anyway.
As I chew, I flick my head and glance at my laptop's clock, accidentally getting some food on it. With a shock, I gasp through my stuffed face when I see how late I am; it looks like I'm going to have to run again if I want to make it to class on time.
I let out a little sigh, then frantically gobble up the rest of my breakfast in a single mouthful.
* * *
My well-worn running shoes pound the dirt as I race up the hill, with "Bye Bye My Crisis" by the Knight Sabers playing on my mp3 player.
The scenery rushes by as the cheerful music blares in my earbuds, filling me up with the energy I need to keep running.
It's like the music encourages me to not give up, and to not think about anything else that might slow me down.
* * *
The school's big black iron gate comes into view, and I run right through it.
Thankfully, or... maybe not, the students are all already seated by now, leaving the hallways clear for me to speed through...
Through the grounds, into the building, up the stairs, and with a screeching, skidding stop right outside my classroom.
With a few moments to catch my breath, I put away my mp3 player and steady myself at the doorway... then casually walk into class.
"Good morning~ everyone~!" I say cheerily as I sign to my students.
"Good morning, Miss Mikado," they greet me back respectfully. Yamaku Academy doesn't require its students to stand and bow as they greet their teachers in class, due to disabilities making even such a simple gesture difficult for some. But I should know this quite well already, since I was a student here myself... a dozen years ago...
"Has it really been that long now?" I wonder in my head as I set my bag down on my desk and instruct my pupils to open their books to today's lesson.
A feeling of ...deep tiredness? ...a touch of sadness, even? passes by me in an instant, before I banish the thought from my mind and focus on teaching.
* * *
After a tiring day of teaching and guiding young children to speak fluently with hand signals, I feel, as I often do, quite happy and satisfied.
The empty classroom is filled with orange light, mixing with shadows as the sun sets, and I gather up my notes and things as I prepare to head home.
When I walk up to the door, I'm startled to see someone standing there waiting for me! Someone wearing a nice outfit and a neat hat, with her long dark hair almost hiding half her face...
"Hanako? ...is that you?"
She smiles, and quietly nods...
* * *
Hanako has been through a lot in twelve years... she fell in love with Hisao... they married... and he... he... his heart condition took him away from her...
I saw her at the funeral... she was trying her best not to cry... I think I spoke to her, wanting to tell her something that would make it alright for her, but for some reason I can't remember what I said...
Hisao's parents were there for her, and they took care of her like she was their own daughter.
Somewhere on social media, I think I saw Akira or Lilly quietly talk about her, saying that she's been trying to write cookbooks. Shizune said she should try novels instead, I think.
All my memories of her come rushing back to me, as we walk back down the hill. With a more confident voice than I can remember, she tells me why she came to see me.
"...and when Yamaku Academy needed a new librarian, I decided to apply. They interviewed me, and accepted me. So... that's- that's how I ended up back here."
"Back here... just like old times?"
"Y-Yes... just like old times..."
It takes me a while to realise it, but I must have accidentally reminded Hanako of Hisao with what I said.
"Oh! I-I didn't mean like with Hisao- No! I mean-! I... I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"No-no, it's alright, Misha. I was already thinking about him when I first came back for the interview."
"Oh... okay...."
Why did I have to go and remind Hanako of Hisao like that? I'm such an idiot!
"Misha?"
"Uhh, huh? Yes, Hanako?"
"Speaking of old times... I've, I've always wondered... why did you stop calling me "Hanako-chan"?"
"Oh... uhh... I think... I think it was Shizune. She didn't really like Lilly back then, and you were Lilly's best friend, so..."
Hanako listens and nods, as we walk on, further down the hill.
* * *
From then on, every day, we would start walking together, up the hill to Yamaku, then back down again at the end of the day. I make sure to remember to go to bed earlier at night, so I can wake up properly in the morning, and walk alongside Hanako to school every day.
It's a very nice change of pace, not having to run up the hill every other morning. I don't have to carry my work shoes in my bag anymore too, since I don't need to wear my running sneakers to reach class on time anymore.
We talk a bit when we walk, Hanako and I, mostly about school stuff; sometimes about the other teachers, sometimes about the students, and other times about our own jobs.
More than once, I say to Hanako that she's changed a lot, like she's almost a different person than before.
And she'd say the same about me too, and point out that she's the only one in Yamaku Academy who still calls me Misha.
I start to remember those times when everyone did... those good old times...
The few times when Hanako and I were... close.
* * *
In my dreams, I would remember more and more about Hanako...
We would just be walking and talking together, sometimes with Lilly too...
And for some reason, I would hold her hand, and tell her how much I've missed her.
Before I could tell her the rest, the dream would end, and I would open my eyes...
I always try to hold on to those dreams, remembering her smile...
One day, Hanako asks me to go out dancing with her. She hasn't been around town much, but she saw a poster for a club nearby, and it looks like a nice place to go dancing.
I'm surprised that Hanako actually wants to go to a club, and that she knows how to dance. But then I remember her mentioning that she and Hisao used to dance a lot. It was a promise they made to each other: He would take up dancing as an exercise, to strengthen his heart, and Hanako would dance with him in a club, to help overcome her social anxieties.
I think... Hanako feels like she needs to keep her promise... even if it's just so to remember Hisao.
Of course, I agree to go with her, and we quickly decide on a date.
* * *
All day, I feel excited, ready to go dancing with Hanako. I don't think I've ever been this eager before in my life...
We meet up at the club, and as soon as I see her, I feel my heart taken away: Beneath her wide-brimmed hat and long coat, she's wearing a backless dress, and the beat-up sneakers I gave her.
She smiles so beautifully at me, and I tell her that I love her, that I always have...
I immediately stop myself, realising what I just said.
We both look at each other, stunned and unsure of what to say next...
Embarrassed and ashamed of myself, I start to turn to leave, but she quickly catches me by my arm.
Before I realise it, she's pulled me onto the dance floor...
I try to say something, but she just kisses me, and tells me with a sweet voice, singing along to the song they're playing:
"Shut up~ and dance with me~!"
