Katawa Shoujo Forums

Like most of my stories this one was inspired by the KS Discord. A while back we were on there reminiscing about Rikabro's infamous Rika route and his rather unique take on the character, leading to a bit of a mini-contest in which several of us tried our hand at writing our own versions of an "edgy Rika." Mine serves as the first chapter for this fic. I knew for a while that after doing all the one shots that I've wanted to do, I would want to write a story that is in between a "route" and a one shot, and based on others' feedback + my own ideas I decided to expand the Rika story into that. Here I'll be posting the first five chapters of this "mini-route," which I plan to end around 10 or so chapters (depending on where I am at the time, I may take an extra chapter or two, but I certainly want to keep it below 15 chapters).

I wanted to try this "mini-route" approach as I feel it can be effective in giving the reader a broader story with a sense of progression, without losing them in the sheer length of the full 4-act "route." A shoutout goes to Lap for demonstrating this with his fic "Home."

So first of all I have to give credit to Rikabro for inspiring the character and story to begin with. While I'm confident that my story is different from his, I also absolutely acknowledge his influence. His Rika fic is here, it is... I'm not sure what to say about it besides that you should check it out: https://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=5920

Second I would like to thank EurobeatJester, Sgt. Pepper and Retrograde (who I'm not sure even posts on this forum, but all the same) for serving as editors, and I would also like to thank Euro for suggesting this title for the fic.

Lastly there is definitely an explicit content warning in effect for this fic. I'm not going to mark specific chapters as "H scenes," just be aware going in that such content awaits.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11

The wonderful poster Feurox made a short piano piece inspired by this story! I think that's pretty awesome, so with his permission, here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdGTyburNKI&feature=youtu.be

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Chapter 1

I stop and stretch as I pass through Yamaku’s front gate, finally feeling free. I appreciate taking some time away from campus most days, usually with a simple walk to and from town. No Kenji bullshit, no Student Council shenanigans, no Emi nagging me to run, no Lilly or Rin popping up in weird places… sometimes I swear even Hanako is trying to send me some sort of signal, always seeming to sit near me when I’m studying in the library.

Out here I’m away from all of them. Just alone for a while. It’s a nice bit of respite, a daily ritual in which I can collect my thoughts and relax by myself. So when the girl at the bus stop calls to me, I’m a bit wary of what she wants.

“Hey.”

A single word, spoken simply, as if it should be enough to start a conversation. I stare blankly back at Rika, eventually deciding to return the gesture.

“Hey.”

In my experience, that’s the extent of this formality and now we’re supposed to go our separate ways. But she’s still staring at me—the way she’s been staring at me since I stepped out here, it’s obvious that she wants me. Wants my attention for something or other, that is.

I have to imagine it’s something to do with my condition. The only interaction I’ve had with Rika before now was in the nurse’s office, when she walked in on me with my shirt off. There had been no missing the way her eyes shot right to my scar. I remember looking away in shame, my face burning hot, and the Nurse’s reprimand to her for coming in unannounced “yet again.” When I finally mustered the courage to look up, she was gone and that was that.

So I imagined she wanted to ask about the scar. That’s about the last thing I want to discuss with anyone, much less someone who might as well be a total stranger, so I look away and start to retreat back inside the gates.

“Aww, where ya goin’?” she calls out. “Am I really that hideous?”

I can hear the sarcasm in her voice but the feigned ache she puts over it is strong enough to force my attention back to her. She’s still staring, her gaze as intense as ever, now with the lightest hint of mischief lurking behind her crimson eyes. Rika beckons to me with a giggle.

“C’mon. I didn’t get a good enough look at you yesterday. I won’t bite—promise!”

“Okay, well. If you prooomise not to bite, then I guess…” I reply, finding a modicum of wit with which to defend myself.

Yet by buying into her joke, I’ve already acknowledged her summons. I sigh inwardly as I walk over to the bench where she sits. I seem to have the world’s most envious curse—girls simply just won’t leave me the hell alone. As I draw closer I notice a short white stick that she’s twirling expertly between the fingers of one hand, the object hard to see clearly because the extraordinary paleness of her own skin nearly matches its hue.

“What’s that?” I ask, sitting down next to her.

“Oh, this?”

Rika stops the idle twirling, holding the unlit cigarette daintily between forefinger and middle finger.

“It’s my backup plan for if I can’t get any boys to keep me company,” she says.

“You… smoke?” I ask incredulously.

“Nah. I like to imagine I am, though.”

I have no idea what to make of that answer. Rika flicks the cigarette away onto the sidewalk, forgetting about it immediately. I guess I’m of more interest to her now.

“So. What’cha doin’?” she asks, her eyes glued to my face as if she’s hanging on my every word.

“Uhh. Going for a walk?… You?” I answer lamely.

“That’s it? God, you’re lame,” Rika says without a shred of irony.

“Well excuse me. Some of us like to stay in shape. Much as we can, at least,” I respond, twinging inwardly on that last addendum. I realize that she hasn’t asked about my condition after all, causing me to let my guard down. I think I see her smile twitch but I can’t be sure.

“C’mon now. You’ve had girls falling over you since you got here. Yet here we are on Saturday, the prime dating day, and you’re walking around all by your lonesome? That’s just sad.”

“Umm, what? Girls… falling over me? Since when?” I ask, genuinely confused.

Rika rolls her eyes and pokes me in the ribs.

“How many other kids are being asked to join Shizune’s cool kids club? Or go running with wonder girl?”

“Wonder girl? You mean Emi?”

“That her name? I try to forget it. You’d sure think she was a superhero, the way people gush about her… point is, you might’ve noticed there’s a lot of girls in this school, a whole lot. And not as many guys. At all. And the guys that are around, well, they’re not exactly the freshest slabs of meat, are they?”

“…Yeah, I have noticed that, actually. My whole hall is empty except for one other person.”

And that person isn’t great dating material. She’s got a point there.

“Right. So a prime cut like you waltzes in, it’s like throwing chum in a shark tank. I mean, you’ve been put in the infirmary once already over this, haven’t you?”

“I have?”

“The Nurse said Emi smacked into you? That’s why you were in there? You don’t think that was really an accident, do you?”

I mean. I did think it was an accident… until now…

“That seems a bit cynical,” I point out.

Rika motions to our surroundings, particularly the walls of Yamaku behind us.

“Look where you’re at, buddy. Cynical is the name of the game around here.”

“…Fair enough.”

Though I’ve felt better since coming here than I did during those agonizing months in the hospital, I certainly still have some dark thoughts swirling around my head. This girl seems judgmental and obnoxious but I can’t deny that she’s managed to take my attention in a way that no one else at Yamaku has. She’s… there’s nothing fake about her, I think, no false façade of happiness. Everyone else here tries to act like everything’s okay. I feel like Rika knows it isn’t and just doesn’t care anymore.

I can empathize with that.

“So why are you out here all by yourself, huh?” I ask, deciding to turn her little barbs around. “All alone on a Saturday, just like me.”

“Am I?” she asks coyly.

I look around pointedly.

“Well, if you’ve got a hot date coming, he isn’t here yet.”

“Or maybe he is. I was thinking about catching the matinee. You like movies, right?”

I notice as she asks that she’s managed to move steadily closer to me throughout our conversation, so much so that our thighs are now touching. She puts a hand over one of my knees as she makes her offer. Just when I’d caught my footing, she’s thrown me off my balance again.

“Err, what kind of movies?”

Rika shrugs.

“Dunno. We’ll see when we get there.”

“You haven’t even looked?”

“Nah. People waste more time trying to pick one than they do actually watching the damn thing. I don’t have time for shit like that.”

“Alright, well…”

Am I just gonna randomly go on a movie date with this girl I barely know?

“…let’s not waste any more time, then,” I say.

I guess I am. Rika’s hand squeezes my knee hard as I try to get up, assuming that we can walk into town together.

“Not so fast. Let’s take the bus. Long walks don’t agree with me.”

I open my mouth to ask why but stop myself just in time. I remember that trek back from town with Lilly and Rin, how Lilly had asked why I was so out of breath, how obvious it was that she didn’t believe me when I lied to her about it. I could be putting Rika in exactly the same position here if I press the issue. So I keep my trap shut for once. One thing this might tell me, if her condition stops her from even walking very far, it’s no wonder she hates Emi. For Rika, watching Emi run would be like a starving man watching someone eat a feast, I think.

The bus pulls up before we have a chance to make any more conversation. We step on board together, Rika’s arm hooked around mine. Guess I’m not going without a date today after all.

***

The movie she picks out is some trashy horror flick that seems like a rerun from years ago. Rika barely glanced at the selection before landing on it, simply commenting that horror is “reliably loud and shitty.” I don’t see why either of those qualities are desirable in our movie but nothing else up there really appeals to me, so I just go along with it.

“Want anything to eat or drink?” I ask her.

“Think we’ll be good on that front,” she responds.

Another answer that I’m not sure what to make of. It suggests that she’s snuck something in but she doesn’t have a purse or anywhere else to reasonably hide contraband candy… shrugging at my date’s oddness, I let her lead me into the dark theater, where she immediately turns into an empty row at the very back. We aren’t quite nestled up in a corner but we’re damn close. The rest of the showing is pretty sparsely populated, too. The nearest people are another couple five or six rows down from us.

Rika quickly dispenses with the armrest dividing us, pushing it up between the seats and slumping down next to me with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my thigh. This is pretty damn cozy for the first few minutes of a first date, I think, but I’m not about to shove her off. I can’t pretend that I’m not enjoying the feel of her body pressed close to mine, noticing the places where it’s soft and the places where it isn’t. A few minutes pass and then she takes my wrist in her other arm, lifting it up and behind her head to cradle her shoulders.

I’m not sure whether to be embarrassed that she had to do that for me, or happy that I’m getting to do it at all. I try to focus on the latter. The movie gets going and it seems clear from the start that it’s going to try and compensate for its lack of competence through sheer volume of jump-scares. It’s about as trashy as it looked going in but it has a campy self-awareness to it that makes the experience considerably more enjoyable.

Rika, however, doesn’t seem particularly taken with the movie. In fact, she looks utterly bored by it when I look down at her. She catches my gaze in hers and lifts her face up to lock her lips with mine, surprising me so badly that I jump halfway out of my seat. Luckily, she doesn’t seem fazed by my reaction, just laughing in amusement at it. As I settle back down she kisses me again.

“Never been to the movies with a girl before?” she asks.

“Uhh… I have, just, not alone…”

“Ohh! A group date? Was it like, a full-on orgy?”

“Wh-what?! No, no!” I sputter. “We were just… friends!”

“Ahahaha! Well, I guess we know why you’re such a hit with the ladies, if this is what your old friends taught you.”

Fucking hell this girl is insufferable. I’d probably be pissed at her if I didn’t want her so badly now.

“They didn’t—teach, me anything! We actually went to movies to, y’know? Watch the movie?”

“Oh, did you? That’s cute,” Rika shoots back.

Damn her. Before I can come up with anything else to say, I feel her lips pressed against my neck, purring softly into my skin as she works it over for a few seconds. The sensation sends a jolt up and down my spine, my muscles clenching in anticipation of the future acts this one promises. Rika pulls her lips up to my ear and whispers into it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you what the movies are really for.”

Then she drops her head back onto my shoulder with a self-satisfied sigh, leaving me hard and dry. I swear… part of me is desperate to kiss her again, yet a bigger part of me is already embarrassed to have done this much in public, so I sit still, my body restrained but my mind laden with all kinds of impure thoughts. I try to drown them out by focusing on the movie, to no avail. It doesn’t help that, in true B-movie fashion, whenever people aren’t dying on the screen they’re fucking instead. These gratuitous sex scenes are the only points in the movie that Rika seems to actually pay attention to, her delicate fingers gently massaging my thigh whenever they pop up.

After the third pair of stupid teenagers are run through by the killer just as they come together, I can’t take it anymore. Gathering up all of my resolve, I lean in and steal a kiss from Rika… then another, and another, each one longer than the last. I can hear her humming over the screams on the screen, the sound one of clear approval at my initiative. Pulling myself away from the temptation next to me for a moment, I decide it’s my turn to whisper in her ear.

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” I ask.

“What? Make out with you? No shit, why do you think I wanted to hang out?”

“No, I—the movie, all these… adult scenes. You had to know all that was in here.”

“Nah, I didn’t know what the hell would be in it. The porn is a nice bonus though, that’s for sure. Really gets me, you know…”

Rika takes my hand and presses it to her chest, bringing my attention to the fullness of her breasts.

“…ready to go,” she finishes saying, making my fingers knead across her assets.

“Rika, I…”

My mouth hangs agape at the audacity of this girl. I want to say something, but what? “Doesn’t this seem a bit fast for a first date?” But I’m not exactly an expert on how dates are supposed to go…“Your boobs feel amazing?” Definitely not saying that…

“Don’t worry, Hisao. I want it,” Rika assures me, sensing my hesitance. “And I know you do, too.”

“H-how…” I manage to say.

“I can hear it in your heart. You see…”

Rika takes her hand off of mine. I no longer need her encouragement to keep at it. She undoes the top few buttons of her blouse, an invitation which I accept eagerly, my fingers grasping greedily at her bare skin, trying to work their way under the bra… then I feel something that freezes me cold for a moment. Exploring a bit farther, I find that there can be no mistaking it. It feels exactly like mine, dead center of her chest… and it’s bigger. A lot bigger.

“…we’re the same,” Rika whispers to me.

“I-I don’t…”

“Shhhh.”

Rika presses a finger to my lips then takes my hand again, pulling it out of her shirt and down to her waist. She presses it first into the fabric of her skirt, then down the length of her leg… below and then under the hem as she hitches it up… and before I can catch myself, I feel the thin fabric of her panties, the only thing separating my fingers from the flesh between her thighs. My face burns hot as I push carefully against it, one spot and then another, completely unsure of what to do or if I should be doing this at all.

It’s… softer than I thought it would be. That’s the only thing I can think. Next to me, I hear Rika sigh again, this time sounding annoyed and impatient.

“It’s my heart that’s broken, Hisao, not my other parts,” she says.

I get the distinct feeling of being a child taking lessons from an adult. Continuing the lesson, Rika pulls the fabric of her panties aside and tugs on my wrist, hard.

“If I wanted to do myself, I could’ve just stayed in bed,” she taunts.

Her jabs finally manage to pierce the veil of uncertainty that’s been holding me back and I plunge fully into her, hearing her breath hitch as my finger runs its course. I keep my eyes locked on the movie screen as I begin to move inside of her, not wanting to look at her face while I do this to her. She does want it, I know she does, I can hear her breath in my ear, feel her nodding into my neck, it’s just…

“Ahhh… more…” Rika breathes.

More? How would I—she answers for me, squeezing my curled middle finger with her own fingers. I push it in alongside my forefinger, the walls of her slick passage now feeling considerably tighter as I flex my knuckles inside of them. With each movement I’m able to go a bit deeper, hearing Rika’s voice rise in pitch and volume when I finally bottom out. I’m terrified that someone else in the theater will look back at us, but sure enough the movie is loud enough to pretty much cover it.

“C’mon, Hisao… harder…”

Jeez, how much more does she want? My fingers are already cramping up from the strain she’s putting on them… but there’s really no turning back now, is there? On the movie screen the killer is chasing his latest victim, getting closer with every step… Rika’s thighs squirm around my hand as she moans in the seat next to me…

“Right there… yes, y-yes…”

Suddenly the killer’s gruesome face pops up on the screen in stark relief, the woman in the movie screaming as a knife is driven through her lungs… and another scream goes up from the girl beside me. If anyone in the theater heard it, they must have written it off as a scream of terror. Thank god for that. I finally slide out of her, my mind totally blank, unable to process what I’ve just done. What we’ve just done. She’s kissing my neck again… it feels nice, it felt nice, she feels nice…

My attention snaps back into focus as a wave of pleasure spreads through my own thighs. While I’ve been zoning out, Rika has found my own point of interest and she’s attacking it just as boldly as she had me go after her. I groan and clench my back, sitting up straight in my seat as she undoes my fly. Then she’s… there it is, those same fingers, stroking my most sensitive part, up and down, my whole body rapidly heating up…

“R-Rika… what are you…”

“You got to have your fun, now it’s my turn,” she says.

Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?

“I don’t… st-stop… stop!” I command her, my voice growing desperate as I feel my limit rushing towards me at terrifying speed. Her hand pulls back just in time, leaving me intact but very, very anxious.

“Thought I was gonna let it go right there, didn’t you? Hah! I’m not that rude. You did a pretty good job, so don’t worry, I’ll return the favor.”

I want to tell her that this isn’t about favors or getting off or dates or anything else like that. It’s about… again, I can’t think of what I would say. Out of the corner of my eye, I can tell Rika is shifting around quite a bit. I feel like I need to preserve my dignity, but anything I can think of would come off as some kind of suggestion that I don’t want her, which is both untrue and at least as embarrassing. I don’t dare look down.

Her fingers are there again, hooked tight around the base of my shaft, stroking more slowly now that they’ve buttered me up… there’s something else, too… Rika’s hands aren’t going up to my head, yet I feel something around it all the same… glancing aside, I see that the seat next to me now appears to be empty. Finally forcing myself to look down, I see Rika on the floor in front of me, her white head of hair jammed firmly into my crotch and bobbing rhythmically.

Let’s just hope none of the other moviegoers have to go to the bathroom before the movie is over. Something tells me that even if someone were to walk by, Rika wouldn’t stop. I don’t think I even want her to anymore. One reason it’s hard to sort anything out in my head is that it’s flooded with so much lust, more of which Rika is sending into me with every thrust of her head. I don’t feel her hands anymore, just a single slick source of sensation, going from my tip down to my hilt and then back up again. I can feel the change in pressure every time that she forces her throat open to let me in and it makes me shiver with ecstasy.

I was already close to the edge before she started doing this, so it doesn’t take her very long to send me over it. My eyes stare blankly at the screen as my legs start to twitch and jerk, unable to hold myself back any longer. I put a hand on Rika’s head as my hips lift up involuntarily, suppressing my grunts and trying not to let anything show on my face, even though no one’s looking. As I pump more of myself into her, I feel her head jerk and hear her gag, but she goes stubbornly back down and holds, keeping me fully sheathed well past the point that I’ve run dry.

When the credits finally roll, she’s back in the seat next to me, smacking her lips with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“See? I don’t bite after all. Just like I promised,” she says.

“Haa… yeah, you’re… you’re good at that… not at biting, at the whole, you know…”

“Mmm. We all have our talents. You’re not half bad yourself… especially for a first timer,” she says.

For her part, it occurs to me that this can’t possibly be the first time she’s done this. It’s probably not the second or third or even tenth time, either. I’m not sure how to feel about that. We sit together in the theater after everyone else has already filed out. My legs still feel like jelly and Rika seems content to rest her head on my chest. I hold my arm around her waist, now perfectly comfortable with the physical contact after what we’ve done.

“Rika, that… that was amazing, but…” I try to say.

“But what? It was amazing, that’s damn right,” she says.

“Sh-should we…”

I can hardly bring myself to say it but I make the words come out.

“Should we be doing that… so… soon?”

She gives a short, harsh bark of laughter.

“Probably shoulda asked that before you finger-blasted me, Romeo.”

“Ahh…”

She does have a point.

“You want to take me on some proper dates first? Buy me dinner, get me flowers, that whole nonsense?” Rika asks, her voice taking on a bitter edge. “You want to earn your fuck? Is that it?”

“N-no, that’s not what I—I mean—well—shit, I don’t know what I mean…”

“Don’t sweat it. There’s not… that’s not how it is with me. With us. We don’t have time for futzing around,” Rika says.

“What does that mean?”

She gives me a death glare, like I just called her a whore or something. Taken aback, I decide not to press it.

“I don’t want any of that shit, okay? You just keep me happy, and I’ll keep you happy, yeah? You can work with that?”

If it means more experiences like this one… I feel like I’m agreeing to some sort of dark bargain, but I nod my head yes, unable to deny my own desires.

“Good. Oh, and no more flirting with that no-legged bitch. I don’t care how many times she bends over in front of you.”

“No more wha—ahh, okay, okay! I won’t talk to Emi again!”

“Or the council bimbos!”

“Or them! I won’t go out with anyone else, okay?! You said it yourself, I suck at it anyways!”

Rika nods her head in satisfaction.

“So. Same time, same place, tomorrow?” she asks.

Once again I’m left dumbfounded. Tomorrow? Then I remember what has happened in the past couple hours. Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised. I don’t know where this girl is going to take me but I decide that I’m willing to find out.

“Sure thing.”

Chapter 2

Rika kept to her promise—same time, same place. Same thing. After the first “date” we just sort of parted ways without saying much else. I was at a loss for words and she seemed to prefer it that way. I thought we might talk more on the second outing, maybe get to know each other a little better, but nope. I did get a bit more familiar with her body but not much beyond that. Day three was the same. And day four. Go to the theater, do each other, leave. We even made the shitty horror flick part of the routine, picking out the same one every time.

On day five I told myself that I was done doing this. Maybe as a guy I was supposed to be happy to have such a willing and reliable partner, but I decided that I wanted more out of my dating life than a sharp-tongued sex doll. My resolve lasted for all of five minutes; memories of those acts simply refused to leave my head, taunting me endlessly until, with a resigned sigh, I made my way down to the bus stop. As she went down on me yet again, I realized that I was like a dumb fish hooked by an angler. And Rika just kept throwing me back into the water, shutting down whatever feeble attempts I might make at conversation during the bus ride back.

After a week of this my anxiety reached a tipping point. Quitting cold turkey didn’t work so I was going to have to try something else.

“Umm, hey, Misha?” I ask, approaching her after class.

“Oh, Hicchan, hi hi~! What’s up!”

“Not much, I just wondering, does… I know this might be a weird question, but can the Student Council tell me which room another student is in?”

“Hmm~? Well, of course, Hicchan. Don’t be silly. The Student Council knows ev-er-ee-thing! What you should ask is, would we tell you which room another student is in? Wahahaha~!”

Shizune is in on the conversation almost immediately. Already, I can’t tell which of those statements were hers and which were Misha’s.

“Okay. Would you tell me what room another student is in?” I ask.

“I don’t knooow, Hicchan. The privacy of our students is very important to us here at Yamaku! We don’t want to give away their personal information all willy nilly, to someone who could be a creepy stalker~!”

“Hey! I’m not a—creep, or a stalker!” I protest.

“Ahahaha~! Of course not, Hicchan, but you might go and tell someone what we tell you!”

I move to protest again, then realize who my hallmate is. Okay, that one is actually a legitimate concern.

“Maaaybe if you were a bit more helpful to the Student Council, the Student Council could be a bit more helpful to you, Hicchan! Yes, yes we could~!”

“…This again?” I ask, rubbing the bridge of my nose in frustration. “I told you, I don’t want to join the Student Council.”

Dealing with this nonsense again isn’t worth it. I’ll just go ask some of the second years, I decide.

“Look, forget about it, okay? I’ll talk to you later,” I say.

“Aww~! Hicchan we haven’t talked to you in days and now you’re leaving already??”

I pause for a moment, taken aback by the notes of genuine disappointment in Misha’s voice. We stare at each other for a moment before Shizune breaks the silence, metaphorically speaking.

“It’s Katayama, isn’t it?” Misha translates.

I furrow my brows at her, immediately feeling defensive.

“Umm, yeah, I mean—yeah. I wanted to know what room she’s in. How’d you know that?”

“Silly Hicchan~! You’ve been hanging out with her all week! Shicchan is deaf, not blind, you know!… oops! Shicchan said not to translate that part, so forget you heard it! Wahaha~!”

“Will you tell me which room is hers?” I insist.

Now Shizune furrows her brow in a look that I recognize immediately. It’s the same one she had when she beat me at Risk. It never ends with her, does it? I realize that, other obvious differences aside, she reminds me of Rika in how damn stubborn she can be. It’s like she’s standing there trying to calculate how much she can get out of me in exchange for this information. Apparently making her verdict, she signs to Misha again.

“Sure, sure, we’ll tell you, Hicchan. But just tell us—are you friends with Katayama?” Misha asks.

Again I’m taken aback, even though I probably shouldn’t be. My first instinct is to say “yes,” because I’m pretty sure you don’t do the stuff we did if you aren’t even friends, but on second thought? Are we even friends? I actually can’t say it. I don’t know what the hell we are. That’s why I’m doing this to begin with.

“That’s what I’m going to work out,” I say.

Shizune gives me another calculating look. It’s not a judgmental look… I get the impression that she’s just trying to read me, to read between the lines of mine and Rika’s relationship.

“Okay, Hicchan. Here’s her room number,” Misha says, handing me a note that Shizune has written it down on. “Just remember! If you ever need anyone to talk to or hang out with—you have two cute girls waiting for you right here in the council! Wahahaha~!”

“Umm, right. Thanks.”

For some reason that last comment bothers me. It feels different from the standard attempts to coerce me into the council, though I can’t put my finger on why… I quickly forget about it as I head out of class and down the hall, on a course for the girls’ dorm. I’ve got other things to think about now. Namely, what the hell I’m going to do when I get to Rika’s room.

***

Rika answers the door promptly enough, though her face visibly darkens when she sees me. I try not to let that throw me off.

“What are you doing here? Date’s not for another couple hours,” she says, as if that’s supposed to settle things.

“Yeah, well. I just thought maybe I’d… come over a bit early?”

“How’d you get my room anyways? I know I didn’t tell you.”

“Hey, it’s not like I—I didn’t mean to—I just asked the Student Council.”

“Oh, tweedle dee and tweedle dum? I thought you weren’t talking to them anymore?”

“I’m—I’m not! I just wanted to know where you were!”

“And why do you need to know that, Hisao?”

“Because, I—I don’t want to just—fool around in a theater every day!”

“Why not? You sure keep coming back for more.”

“Rika!” I snap, feeling my patience wane. To my surprise, her frown shows the first signs of lifting at the change in my tone. Still, I can’t bring myself to raise my voice any further. “Why can’t we just, you know? Hang out?” I ask, deflating back down to a more even demeanor.

Rika rolls her eyes.

“Fine. Have it your way.”

She steps back from the door and sits down on the bed, motioning for me to come inside. I follow her in, closing the door behind me. Her room is surprisingly messy. I feel bad whenever I leave a few stray pieces of clothing laying around, but Rika’s whole wardrobe seems to be on her floor, bunched up in various corners of the room. Her desk is an assortment of random items and trash, among which I spot an open pack of cigarettes. The walls are bare but feature a couple suspicious stains as I look them over.

I try not to look at the double-wide row of pill bottles arranged on the top shelf above the desk.

“That it?” she asks.

“Oh!” I jump, ending my sweep of the space. “Sorry, I was just… I don’t know, looking around,” I say, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.

“Yep. It’s a room alright. It’s mine. Ready to get out of it?”

“What? No, Rika, I—what’s going on, what’s the deal, what’s the deal with you? You want me to leave you alone, when we’re just gonna go to the movies in a bit anyways? I mean, if we’re just going there to screw around, why even waste time sitting through that stupid showing again?”

“Uh-huh. And there it is. Go on, just spit it out.”

“Spit what out?”

Rika gives me a look like I’m playing dumb but I’m seriously confused by her.

“Is it because—do you not want me to see your room, just because it’s messy?” I continue. “’Cause I mean, if that’s all it is, I really don’t c—”

“God, you’re actually this clueless. Want to know why we go to the theater?” Rika cuts in.

“—uhh… I mean, yeah, actually. I do.”

“Because if we ‘hang out’ in here, then you’ll just want to fuck me.”

“…”

“Cat got your tongue?”

“…what? Rika, no, that’s not—I mean, what?”

“So you don’t want to fuck me?”

“That’s not—I mean, I do, but I want more than—can we just pause for a second?”

I look down, wading my way carefully through the warzone that is her floor, until I reach the bed and sit down next to her. I put a hand on her knee out of instinct but she doesn’t return the gesture like she usually does. She just looks at me with that same hard, almost accusatory stare, like I’m lying to her about something, somehow.

“We can just fool around in here, if that’s what you want. But that’s not why I came over. I just wanted to get to know you. We’ve been… dating, if you want to call it that, for a week, but I still don’t really know anything about you. Except for…”

I’m going to bring up our conditions but I stop myself, as it’s not a subject that I’m keen on exploring right off the top. If Rika realizes what I was about to say, she doesn’t show it, opting instead to blow me off entirely.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk. That’s reason number two we go to the theater. Hard to talk when D-list actors are fake screaming at a thousand decibels.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“So just more… sex?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You wouldn’t know sex if it slapped you in the balls.”

“And here I thought I was getting better at it,” I retort, starting to feel a bit angry again at the jab to my manhood.

“Yeah, you got me to cum faster than ever last time. With your fingers. Real stud, you are.”

I narrow my eyes at her in a mix of confusion and annoyance.

“Okay, now I really don’t know what the hell you want from me,” I say.

Rika gives me a withering look.

“Just ‘cause you’re used to getting it over that fast doesn’t mean girls like it that way,” she says, her voice dripping with contempt.

“Fast? What, would you prefer I…”

“…Last more than thirty seconds? If I thought you could, I wouldn’t need to drag your skinny ass to the movies.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s like I said. If we actually have sex, you’ll just finish in three thrusts and that’ll be it. This way, I get to have mine too.”

I finally realize what she’s been thinking this whole time. She thought I came over here because I was tired of what we were doing in the theater, that now I wanted to go ahead and go all the way. Rika actually thought I just came over to her room because I was horny.

“Fucking hell, is everything just about sex with you?” I ask incredulously.

“Why is that such a problem for you? Usually guys are pretty damn happy to make everything about sex.”

“’Usually?’ And I guess you would know, wouldn’t you, all about guys and sex?”

I regret that one as soon as it leaves my mouth but it’s too late. I see her expression twitch, just the slightest hint of a reaction, but it’s there. Then her eyes harden.

“Yeah, well you sure as shit wouldn’t,” she replies. “You’re so dumb that you couldn’t get anywhere even when half your class was making eyes on you. I literally had to drag you into third base.”

Ouch. I winch a bit and I see her lips curl into a satisfied smirk, knowing she’s gotten the upper hand again. This girl really is like Shizune, with extra bitterness and cruelty mixed in on top. I consider just getting up and walking out already, but that would feel too much like letting her win.

“So what? Now we just do the usual? I finger you, you go down on me? I’m not just gonna sit here and do that again,” I say stubbornly.

“Then fuck me,” Rika says flatly.

Even now, after all this bullshit, that still puts me at a loss for words.

“If you’re really going to be like this. Then let’s just get it over with,” she insists, already reaching down to her skirt.

“Rika, no. I’m not going to just—fuck you, okay?”

“Well yeah, it wouldn’t be much of a fuck, would it?”

Her face softens into a fake pout.

“And here I was hoping you’d rock my world…”

I feel a blind anger rising up at her taunting. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, she just won’t stop. This whole thing is absurd. I can please her, I know I can, I’ve been doing it all week. Why is she so stuck on this? Why can’t she just have something resembling a normal human interaction? What is wrong with her? I want to shake her and yell in her face, demand that she explain it. She can apparently sense my anger, because that fake pout is fading back into a derisive sneer.

“You know what? Fine. Let’s just fuck,” I spit at her.

She pats me on the cheek like she’s consoling a child.

“That’s what I thought,” she says, already pulling her skirt down. She kicks it off along with her panties in a single deft motion, then lays back and spreads herself. The suddenness of the situation freezes me for a moment as I stop to consider what I’m doing. Then she puts her hands behind her head and starts whistling a tune of boredom, and I see red again. I yank my fly down and pull my pants off, keeping my shirt on just like she has, before clambering atop her. I realize that I’m already hard, without even needing to warm up, and press myself against her opening.

“Having trouble finding it?” she asks.

“No, for fuck’s sake, it’s just—I don’t have a condom—”

“Don’t sweat it, I’m sterile. Now get the hell on with it.”

I growl in annoyance, realizing that our parts don’t join perfectly together like the movies always suggest. I reach down to take hold of myself, using my other hand to pull her open a bit further and guide myself in. As soon as I’m sure I’m there, I start bucking, letting all my pent-up anger and annoyance express itself in my treatment of her. Rika’s body is indeed visibly rocked by each thrust but her face shows no reaction, just that same look of bored contempt. I can feel myself hitting the back of her walls, I can’t go any deeper, yet she’s still just fucking looking at me like that.

Then I’m coming, and it happens so fast that I let out a sound somewhere between a howl and a squeal. Rika laughs in genuine amusement at the absurd noise, hands still resting behind her head. I press myself into her as hard as I can, determined to make her react, somehow some way, but I’m already spent and going soft. I make a few more futile attempts to keep going before admitting defeat, falling flat on top of her with my head coming to rest alongside hers. She pats me on the back as if to say “there, there.”

“Congrats, Romeo. There went your V-card. Hope it was worth it,” she says.

“Rika… I…”

I what? What am I even supposed to say at this point? What the hell am I doing?

“…I’m sorry,” I croak, fighting back tears.

“Ha! Apology accepted. Now would you mind pulling out? I need a shower.”

“Ah, shit, I… yeah…”

I pull myself off of her and snatch my pants back on, pulling them up as quickly as I can without looking at her, then just hurry out the door without saying anything else.

Chapter 3

Time passes. I don’t really process what happened in Rika’s room. I’m trying not to process it. When it forces its way into my awareness every so often, I try to convince myself that it’s for the best, that now I’m just rid of her. That doesn’t really work. Most of the time I keep my mind blank, because if it’s not blank, that’s what’s on it.

“Hicchan~!”

“Aghh!”

Misha’s voice breaks me from my stupor.

“It’s time to go to lunch, Hicchan! Don’t just sit there~!”

“Umm…”

I glance around the room, searching for some kind of excuse to get rid of her. All this does is show me that Misha isn’t lying. The room is empty except for me, the council, and Hanako, who is pulling out a book to read while she eats at her desk. I didn’t even notice class end.

“You’re not planning to just skip lunch, are you, Hicchan? You shouldn’t skip meals. Nourishment is very important for growing teenage bodies, yes it is~! Look, you didn’t even take any notes!”

Guilty as charged…

“Shicchan says, you should come and eat lunch with us, Hicchan. Just like old times~!”

“Old times? I think we ate together twice?”

“That’s one more than you went to lunch with anyone else!”

I sigh. On any other day I’d have the energy to fight them off. Not today.

“Sure. Why not,” I agree flatly.

Shizune scowls at me and Misha matches the displeasure as best she can.

“You really should be more excited about getting to go out with two of the school’s biggest beauties, you know~!”

“Yeah, well, I think I’ve had enough of going out with girls for a while.”

“You and Katayama broke up, then?”

That should probably upset me, that she just goes straight to it, but for some reason it doesn’t. My only response is to look away, finding a point on the wall to stare at. The two of them just stand there, Shizune with her arms crossed, Misha with her hands on her hips. I know them well enough to know that ignoring them won’t make them leave.

“We were never dating,” I grumble.

“Well then~! Come on a date with me instead, Hicchan! I won’t break up with you, I promise! Wahaha~!”

I look back over at them. Shizune is wearing a smug grin now while Misha is smiling in the aftermath of her laughter. I genuinely don’t know which one of them said that.

“…Which one of you? Do I get to pick?” I ask, smiling a bit in spite of myself.

“We’re a package deal, Hicchan! Two for the price of one~! Ahahaha~!”

“Let me guess? All I have to do is join the Student Council?”

“Shicchan says, you’re finally getting to know us!”

I purse my lips at their antics, trying not to smile any wider, though I can’t deny that their demeanor is infectious.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t do that. Maybe I’ll keep you company over lunch, though. I think I can at least do that.”

“Yay, yaay~! Wahahaha~!”

***

I had been planning to skip afternoon classes. After lunch, I decide to stay. To my surprise and relief, Shizune and Misha don’t ask any more about Rika, nor do they make any attempts to rope me into the Student Council. They just sit and talk and eat. Most of their talking is done in sign while I sit silently, although Misha makes sure to occasionally give me some silly comment or another. I’m content with the arrangement as I wasn’t in a talkative mood anyways.

I manage to take better notes in the afternoon. When class gets out I already have a plan—I head straight to the library, grab a fantasy book, and sit down on the beanbags. Hanako arrives shortly afterwards, sitting closer to me than I would’ve expected. After fidgeting a bit she even lifts her head in my direction and stutters out a greeting, which I return graciously. The combination of her quiet presence and the distraction of the book helps to occupy me late into the night, until the library eventually closes and we walk out of it together. As we part ways outside, I even think I see the hint of a smile on her face as she waves goodbye.

By the time I go to bed I’m starting to feel like a human being again.

***

The next day I try to stick to this plan. Notes, lunch, notes, library. I feel a strange sort of resolve now. Before I met Rika, I didn’t have any goals, I was just drifting. Now I have a goal—don’t think about Rika. Keep her out of my head. I certainly can’t say I’m happier now than I was when I was seeing her, but after what happened, this life of quiet stability is suddenly much more appealing to me than it was before. I even have a brief conversation with Hanako about which books we’re reading.

I get up from my beanbag to go to the bathroom, feeling good about my progress on the “Forget about Rika” front. All of that progress is erased immediately when I step outside the library to see her leaning against the wall, staring straight at me. My first thought is that she doesn’t look happy, my second thought is that she never looks happy anyways.

“Hiding in the library, huh? Leave it to you to find a hobby even more lame than walking,” Rika says.

My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in. Flight is winning out at first, then fight quickly overpowers it, riding on the sense of intrusion that I feel at her presence. Why the fuck is she bothering me?

“Why are you here?” I ask, taking a terse tone with her.

“You skipped yesterday.”

“Skipped what?… The movie? You can’t be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

I scoff at her. The nerve of this girl… somehow it still gets to me…

“I’m not going to any more fucking movies, Rika.”

“Why not? Found another squeeze already?”

“No,” I say firmly. “You know why not.”

“Because you came in two seconds like I said you would? Who cares?”

“Fucking hell, Rika!” I snap, looking around to see if anyone heard that. Luckily, there’s no one else in the hall right now. She didn’t even try to lower her voice!

“See, if you would’ve just shown up like usual, I wouldn’t be here saying that in the middle of the school right now.”

“What kind of logic is that?!”

“Do I seem like someone who uses a lot of logic?”

“…You know what, you’re right. No, you don’t. Now can you leave me alone?”

“Gotta get back to something? I don’t see why we can’t chat for a while, if you’ve got nothing better to do than sit in there with toilet girl.”

“Toilet girl? Wha—no, actually, never mind, I don’t want to know. How’d you even know where I was?”

She gives me a wicked smile, telling me that she’s been waiting for this question.

“I asked the Student Council,” she says in a mocking tone. “They said you’ve been making friends with toilet girl. Ah, there she is now. Use the second stall from the left if you want a clean seat, I made sure to flush.”

Sure enough Hanako has appeared at my side. Whether she had to use the bathroom too, or was just checking on me, I’ll never know. As soon as she sees Rika she freezes like a mouse spotting a cat. Rika’s words are like the cat pouncing—and Hanako flees from them, looking distinctly like a mouse as she holds her arms close to her chest and drops her head, trying to hide her scars from Rika. I think I catch wetness in her eyes just before she disappears into the girls’ restroom.

“See? Toilet girl. She must have the world record for most time spent crying in a bathroom stall,” Rika says.

“Yeah, it’s really great to see you helping her with that. I’m sure she appreciates the encouragement,” I say, feeling some venom of my own fill my voice. It’s one thing for Rika to fuck around with me, it’s another to see her send someone vulnerable like Hanako scurrying for cover. “Now if you’re done ruining people’s day, I really need to piss.”

I try to go do that but she follows me stubbornly, walking at my side with a skip in her step.

“Oh! Great! I love doing it in bathrooms, really get that sleazy feel going,” Rika says with sarcastic enthusiasm. “We can post up in the big stall on the end. I’ll make sure to moan really loud so people hear it—the other boys will be jealous for the rest of the month!”

I ignore her, beelining for the safety of the boys’ room. Of course, she just follows me in.

“What now?!” I say, whirling around on her in the entrance. “You gonna stand next to me and watch me piss?”

“I mean, yeah, I was gonna time it. See if it lasts longer than you did the other day.”

“You little—”

I see red again, just like in her room. I don’t even know what to say to her anymore, I just want to hurt her. I realize that I’m this close to slapping her across the face. I’m a little terrified by the realization that, if we weren’t in public, I might have really done it. Rika steps a little closer to me, daring me to say something else.

“Why are you doing this? Why?! What do you want?” I ask.

“You know what I want.”

“The movies again? I am not. Going. To any more fucking movies!”

“So let’s ‘hang out.’ Just like you wanted.”

“…If I say no, you’re still not going to go away, are you?”

“What do you think?”

I look down and rub my temples stressfully.

“Alright. Sure. If that’s actually what you want. One condition.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t gonna let you fuck me again any—”

“Uhh tut tut tut!” I say over her. “You have to wait right here and let me take a leak in peace.”

“—oh. Sure, whatever.”

At least I get that much breathing room, I think. When I’m done, me and Rika just start walking away from the library. I can indeed hear the sound of sobs drifting faintly out from the girls’ bathroom. My hand flexes into a fist for a moment. Part of me wants to hit Rika again, the other part of me wants to go back, go into the girls’ room and apologize to Hanako.

Unlike Rika, I don’t find the will to do either.

***

Once we’re outside I steer Rika towards the boys’ dorm and my room. I figure with the whole hall empty aside from Kenji, there’s less damage she can do over here. “Hanging out” in my room is pretty lame but there’s no way I’m taking her out in public with that mouth of hers. Plus, for once, I might not mind if Kenji were to show up and start harassing her. I’m not sure who would win that contest of assholery but regardless of which one drives the other away, it’d be a win for me.

Rika spends much less time inspecting my room than I did hers.

“Your room’s as boring as you are,” she says dryly.

To be fair, she’s right. There’s almost nothing in here but my school supplies and my pills.

“If I’m so boring, why did you glue yourself to my side?” I ask.

“You’re boring, fucking with you isn’t.”

“I thought I wasn’t any good in bed either.”

I cringe inwardly at my own reminder of that fact but the words just come unbidden, as if Rika’s bitter aura pulls them out of me.

“Not fucking you, fucking with you,” she clarifies. “You’re actually pretty cute if you’d just drop the whole sad sack routine. At least your dick functions properly and you’re willing to use it, even if you suck at it. Like I said, basically a prime cut by this place’s standards.”

“Gee, thanks. I’m flattered.”

“You’re welcome.”

Rika flops down on my bed, then rolls over onto her back, joining her hands behind her head with her knees apart, legs hanging off the edge of the mattress. I roll my eyes at that pose, then look away from her as she smirks at my response.

“C’mere, keep your girlfriend company,” she says.

“You’re not my girlfriend. I don’t think you’re even my friend.”

“I’m the only friend you got, bucko.”

“No. Shizune and Misha are my friends. Hanako might’ve been before you showed up. You—I don’t know what you are. Some crazy person who won’t leave me alone.”

“Shizune and Misha, huh?”

She gets up and walks to my side again, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder.

“You promised me you wouldn’t talk to them again,” she says, her voice dropping to a surprisingly normal tone. There’s actually a hint of vulnerability in there, I think.

“Oh?” I prompt, my voice doing the opposite of hers, hardening into a mocking pattern. “Not getting jealous, are we? Don’t worry, I haven’t even fingered them yet, much less fucked them.”

“Ha! I know you haven’t, they’re probably too busy fucking each other.”

So much for her being jealous… that feigned note of concern actually had me going for a second. Should’ve known better…

“I mean, that would make sense,” I say, “With the whole boy-to-girl ratio that you pointed out. Sooner or later the girls would just get frustrated and start going to town on each other, right?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Rika says. “Whatever you do, never go in the track shed. And if you ever do… take a shower right after.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I say, raising an eyebrow.

“Put it this way—even I don’t go in there to get it on.”

“Shit, that is serious,” I say. “Too filthy for even the girl who likes to fuck on top of toilets? Whew!”

“You wish I’d let you fuck me on top of a toilet.”

I laugh bitterly at that challenge.

“Why? So you could make fun of me again? Not likely.”

“What’s wrong? Can’t put one in a girl if she doesn’t play nice?”

“Do you want me to put another one in you?”

“If you could do it properly I might.”

“Pffttt.”

I push her away, feeling upset again, although not nearly as much as I did back in her room. There’s a pretty strong undercurrent of exasperation running over it for the time being. Rika tries to latch onto me again and I push her off, again. She gives one of those brief laughs of hers, then circles around to put herself between me and the bed before coming at me for a third time. I push her off and this time she lets herself fall back onto the bed, from which she beckons to me.

“Come on, what’s your problem? You know I don’t bite,” she says.

“Yeah, but you have some bite,” I shoot back.

“Refusing to touch me isn’t gonna save you from that.”

I sigh, knowing she’s right. Physically pushing her away isn’t going to do much. She’s here and I have to deal with her. I briefly consider just telling her to get the fuck out of my room, but deep down, I know that I want to address this somehow or other. Besides, if I kicked her out, she’d probably just lurk right outside my door to spite me. So I finally give in and sit down next to her. Even though my feelings about her are all over the place, my hand just goes automatically onto her stomach, rubbing it absentmindedly. It’s weird to be so physically familiar with someone and yet so emotionally distant.

“Look, Rika. Enough bullshit. What happened in your room, I… I’m sorry about that. I really mean it, okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you,” I mumble, looking down between my knees.

“Yeah, the sex was really bad, even I’m getting tired of saying it now.”

“No, not just… that, okay? I mean I shouldn’t have had sex with you in the first place. It didn’t… that wasn’t right.”

“And what was so wrong with it, aside from the obvious?”

“I mean, I feel like I… I don’t know, just the way I did it, it was… stupid.”

“Well yeah, it was that. Don’t sweat it, Romeo. My first time was hardly all sunshine and roses.”

I look over at her, realizing that I’m really just trying to apologize to myself, not to Rika. It’s apparent that she doesn’t care about what I did to her. She seems to sense this thought as her face isn’t curled into a mocking sneer for once. She’s just passively looking back at me, not happy but not upset. Her hand moves over the one I have still resting on her stomach.

“You know, I did spread my legs and ask you to fuck me. Most guys would be okay with getting their rocks off in that situation.”

“Yeah yeah, but that doesn’t mean it was right. I was just, I wasn’t thinking straight, and I’ve been so depressed and anxious since the heart attack, I just—”

My throat locks up as I realize what I’ve let slip. Even though Rika must know I have some kind of heart condition, I don’t want her to start taunting me about it. It’s the only thing I have left that feels private.

“Oh, ‘you’re depressed,’ is that it?” she says, the spite coming into her voice again. “Is that why you had to hate-fuck me, Hisao? ‘Cause you were just soooo anxious and that was the only way to feel better?”

She sits up next to me, our faces nearly touching, her eyes burning. She’s ignored the heart attack comment completely but I don’t know if this is much better.

“God, this is why you can’t get laid, dude. The whole ‘woe is me’ thing is so fucking repulsive. Girls can smell it on you, too. Trust me, we’ve got a good nose for losers,” she says, poking me in the side so hard that I flinch a bit. Her lips curl into a sneer at this, as if my flinching confirms her accusations.

“Well fuck Rika, I’m sorry for being a human being and actually fucking feeling something! I had a fucking heart attack while my crush confessed to me, then I got locked in a hospital for months on end, then I just got shipped off here. All my old friends, my whole life for eighteen years, up and gone, just like that! I’m fucking sorry that it upset me a bit, alright?” I yell at her.

Rika takes it head on, not giving an inch. If anything my little outburst only seems to strengthen her resolve.

“You got locked in a hospital ‘cause you had a heart attack?” she asks, her voice even despite the fire in her eyes. “Like you’ve never been in one before?”

“No, actually, I hadn’t been in one before. And it was miserable!”

“God, you’re pathetic.”

“Fuck you, Rika.”

“You wish. Is that it? You had a normal happy little life until you were eighteen, then you came here? And to think, I imagined you might be like me, just because you had the scar.”

I remember touching Rika’s chest, my hands exploring the ridges of the small canyon running down the center of her. It’s strange, all our sexual exploits run together in my memory, but I can very distinctly remember each and every little touch of that mark. I remember, most notably, how gigantic it felt. How much larger it is than mine.

“You think you have it hard, Hisao? Try being a kid and being kept locked inside all day so you won’t accidentally bump into anything. Try being forbidden from any sort of sports or physical activity, ever, not even jogging. Try being told when you’re twelve that you won’t live to see thirty. You had your first heart attack this year? That’s cute, mine was when I was seven. My parents just told me I was ‘sick.’ They hid the truth for five more fucking years.”

My mouth opens slightly but I have no words.

“Your crush confessed to you, huh? You know what happened when my first crush confessed? I let him fuck me raw, and then when I saw him in school the next day, he called me a whore. I wish I’d had a fucking heart attack before he touched me. And you know what the most fucked up thing is? I’m not even the luckiest girl in here, there are people in this place who are even worse off. So don’t you dare bitch at me about how hard your life is. It’s insulting.”

I’m left trembling at these words but Rika isn’t. She’s still right there, staring me in the eyes, so close I can feel her breath, utterly unmoved. I can’t think of anything to say so I lean in and kiss her instead.

Chapter 4

Rika obliges my kiss for a moment but she clearly isn’t into it. She pulls her face away before it can go anywhere.

“Ah, sorry if I…” I start.

“Don’t fucking apologize,” she snaps.

Right. Apologizing probably makes me weak or something. I start to wrap an arm around her back then yank it away, thinking that maybe she doesn’t want me to touch her right now. This thought is immediately contradicted when she takes the arm and pulls it around her anyways, much as she did back during that first night in the theater.

“It’s nothing personal. I just don’t feel like kissing you right now,” Rika says, leaning into my side.

“I just… I had no idea,” I say. “I mean, I thought I did, but…”

“You didn’t. Don’t feel bad. Neither did I. I thought you might be… different, somehow, but that was stupid. You’re just another horny asshole.”

“You’re a horny asshole too,” I reply, squeezing her side. She laughs at that, the sound lasting a bit longer than a single bark this time.

“Guess you got me there,” she admits.

“You’d have to be pretty desperate to settle for a loser like me,” I continue.

“Yeah, well, you’re the only guy here right now, so.”

I pinch her side and she jerks a bit, then looks up at me and kisses me, right on the mouth. It’s brief but it confuses me nonetheless. I guess I changed her mind on the whole kissing thing.

“When you say you thought I might be different, what do you mean? Because I hate to disappoint you, Rika, but you’re right. I am just some asshole, nothing really that special about me. Aside from…”

“Aside from this?”

Rika traces the scar under my shirt.

“That’s why I thought there might be something to you. I thought we might be the same,” Rika says.

“Well, I’ve got a heart condition, that’s true. It’s called Long-QT Syndrome, I think? Basically I have arrythmia. My heart falls out of rhythm too easily.”

“Yeah, I figured by now you had something else. I should’ve known, there’s probably a billion different weird ass heart problems people can have. I have hyperplastic heart something or other. I don’t know the doctor words for it, but it means I was born with half a heart.”

My eyes widen, my grip on her tightens, and I look down at her in concern.

“Half… a heart? How are you even…”

I don’t want to say it but Rika says it for me.

“How am I even alive? Dunno. Someone wanted me to suffer I guess. They flipped all the wiring in there around somehow to where it can keep me alive, but, well. Still won’t be enough to get me past thirty, and it probably won’t last that long.”

“Rika…”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”

“Well, what am I supposed to say?”

“I dunno. ‘That sucks?’”

I can’t help but laugh at her nonchalance in the face of such a grim fate. Maybe it’s fucked up to find it amusing but it’s exactly the kind of thing Rika would find funny, I think.

“It definitely does suck… I might die an early death, the doctors told me, but it’s just a maybe. Supposedly I can mitigate it with exercise and such. To have it be guaranteed to happen that soon…” I say.

“It hasn’t been all bad. I’ll never smoke a cigarette, but I get to have all the sex I want pretty much guilt-free. No one’s gonna scold the girl with an expiration date, and it’s not like I need to save myself for when I have a family.”

“So when you said you were sterile, is that because…”

“The meds mostly did that anyways, but when my parents found out I was ‘sexually active,’ they decided to make sure.”

“Your parents made you sterile?!”

“No, it’s not like they forced me. I thought it was a great idea. You realize that if I did manage to get pregnant, it would probably kill me?”

“Oh…”

I hadn’t considered that possibility though it does make sense. I’m still left a bit stunned at her casual acceptance of these things, as if they’re just minor inconveniences that she’s long ago learned to live with. I want to say something to her about it but I can’t think of anything that doesn’t come across as pitying her somehow. The only thing that comes to mind is pretty damn insensitive. That’s what she wants though, isn’t it? God knows she’s never been sensitive to me.

“So is this how you cope with all that shit? You pick a guy and go to town?” I ask.

She narrows her eyes and I brace myself for yet another withering insult to my sexual prowess.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? The idea that your dick is some kind of emotional healing wand, comforting the poor girl with the broken heart? Nah. There’s a lot of things I can’t enjoy in life, Hisao. A lot. So I like to indulge in the ones that I still can.”

That wasn’t as vicious as I was expecting. I’m also not sure if I entirely believe it. If I push her I probably will get something really nasty for my trouble… I feel like I’m actually getting somewhere now, so probably best to avoid doing that.

“Guess that makes sense,” I say with a shrug. “Thanks for picking this schmuck to indulge yourself on, I suppose. Even if it was only because of some stupid scar.”

“It wasn’t just that. Like I said, you’re actually pretty cute, when you let yourself be,” Rika says, reaching up and tweaking my cheek. I flinch and smack her hand away, at which she giggles and tries to do it again. This time I’m ready, snatching up her wrist and holding it forcefully away from my face.

“Ooooh, got me now, haven’t you?” Rika says. She raises her other hand up in surrender and puts on a face of feigned fright. “Whatever is the big strong man going to do to me?”

I consider for a moment, then use my free hand to shove her down onto her back, straddling her waist and leaning down over her.

“Maybe I’ll just do whatever I like with you,” I say.

Rika says nothing, though her eyes widen and her breathing deepens noticeably. Her arms hang limply at her sides, waiting for me to make the next move. I’m not sure what I expected from her but it wasn’t quite this. What do I want to do with her? Have sex with her? My lower head pretty much always wants to but it’s probably not a great idea. I settle for reaching down and tweaking her cheek, just like she did to me.

“There. Now we’re even,” I say, clambering back off of her.

“Awww,” she says with a pout. “Is that all?”

I roll my eyes at her petulance, realizing immediately after that I’m really picking up some of her habits. Not sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing…

“You’ll just have to keep your panties on for a while,” I say. “I’m sure you can manage.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just get up and leave then. If we’re not gonna do anything fun, then what’s the point in staying here?”

“I thought you said we were going to ‘hang out,’ just like I wanted.”

“Yeah, and we did. So now what?”

“Well, we could, y’know. Actually talk for a while.”

“About what?”

“Hmm… well, you said you’ll never smoke a cigarette, but I saw a pack in your room. What’s up with that?”

“Yeah, something to do with the ol’ chest pump. If I ever smoked a cigarette, it would seriously fuck me up. Might even kill me. Definitely would if I smoked more than one, the doctor said,” Rika explains, adjusting her clothes as she sits back up.

“Holy shit, that’s pretty serious.”

“No fucking kidding. I have to be extra careful even being near smokers, I passed out from secondhand once when I was younger. Bet that guy felt like a dick,” she says, scooting back on the bed a bit in an odd motion.

“But why do you have them then?” I ask, following her hands in search of what she’s doing.

“I just like playing with them I guess. Tell someone they can’t have something, and all that.”

I notice that her hands aren’t just resting on her hips, their thumbs are hooked into the waistband of her skirt. Sure enough, she slips it right off as I watch on, revealing the slender, ghost-white legs underneath. Shit, what’s she up to now?

“How did you even get a pack?”

“Stole them,” Rika says without missing a beat.

“And what are you doing over there?” I ask, a redundant question as just then she pulls her panties off as well.

“C’mon, you’re not that dense,” she answers, climbing into my lap with her bottom resting aside one of my thighs and her bare legs slung over me.

“What happened to talking?”

“Talk all you want. Maybe I’ll use my mouth for something else,” she says, now wrapping her arms around my neck and planting a few kisses on it.

“Maybe I don’t want you to.”

“Just sounds like a challenge to me,” she says, reaching straight into my crotch. I scowl and yank her hand off.

“Seriously, lay off for two seconds.”

Rika shrugs and pulls her head back off of my neck.

“Have it your way, Romeo,” she says, laying down across the mattress with her bare legs still atop my own. She drops one off the side and kicks the other up and around my back, leaving herself fully exposed in my lap. I’m fairly proud of my self-control in this situation so far. It’s still not strong enough to avoid staring shamelessly at the goods she’s put on display. She grins, no doubt feeling me harden against her rear.

“So then,” I say, determined not to give in this easily. “Does that mean you can’t enjoy any sort of drugs? Not even alcohol?”

“What was that? Sorry, I’m a little busy over here,” Rika says, reaching down into her open crotch and beginning to touch herself. Her hips jerk instinctively at the stimulation and the motion of her ass gives me my own little jolt of pleasure. In no time at all she’s started to moan, closing her eyes and beginning to gyrate in time with the rhythm of her fingers. The effect this has on me is maddening, causing my jaw to clench and my legs to lock up.

“Mmmm… see something you like?” she breathes between strokes.

“Fucking hell, Rika…”

“Come on, don’t… give up that easily… we’re just, ahh… ‘hanging out,’ right?”

It’s truly amazing to me how she still manages to lace her voice with that much sarcasm while simultaneously getting off. This fucking girl… if I really wanted to show her, I’d kick her out, but I know I’m not going to do that now… I’m practically salivating at the sight and feel of her right now. I take hold of her wrist, stopping her for a moment.

“Hey, that’s cheating,” Rika protests.

I reply by moving my other hand into place, two fingers positioned between her lips. I tease at her opening, pressing against her without going fully inside, just as I’ve learned that she likes.

“There’s a good boy,” she breathes.

“We are still gonna hang out, damn it. I’ll make you happy, and then we sit and talk some more. That way we’re both happy. Deal?”

Rika raises an eyebrow at me.

“You’re going to fuck a conversation out of me?” she asks incredulously.

“Something like that.”

“Well, if I have to tell someone about myself, I guess that’s how I’d prefer to do—nngghhh!”

Her snappy comment is cut off as I ram straight into her, relieved to finally let myself go. I practically fall on top of her, my lips finding hers as my fingers continue pumping, strong and steady. I can feel her own hand continuing its work above mine each time I pull out… there’s a lot more room for that now that we can do this properly, without any of her clothes in the way. It must intensify things quite a bit for Rika as I can already feel her reaching her limit, strained sounds echoing out of her mouth and into mine.

She keeps kissing me as her climax comes, her free hand gripping my face tightly as her legs shudder over and over. I didn’t realize until now how much I’d missed this… and how much better it feels to do it freely, in the privacy of my own room. As soon as she’s able to move again she pushes on me insistently, prompting me to roll over onto my back. Rika’s hands go straight to my own pants and set about removing them, her fingers still trembling with lust.

I make no moves to stop her. Talking is overrated after all, I decide. My hands lock onto her hips as she sits atop me, taking note of how thin and frail they feel.

“Let’s try this with me on the wheel,” Rika says, grinding herself against me.

“Well this time, if it sucks… you wanted it…” I breathe.

“Don’t worry, I’ll accept full responsibility for it.”

Rika punctuates that by dropping herself onto me, drawing a long sigh of satisfaction from my lips. I grind my hips, desperate to move myself inside of her, but she keeps her weight firmly in place, refusing to cooperate. I realize that her being on top means that I can’t just let loose on her like I did before… maybe that’s a good thing, because I’m not sure I could hold myself back if I was the one in control. She leans forward and plants her hands on my chest, bracing herself for what’s to come.

“Just don’t go and have a heart attack on me, yeah?” she says, beginning to move her hips in tandem with my own. Even the small range of motion this allows is enough to send a shiver through my whole body. I only have time to nod once before Rika really gets started.

Chapter 5

It takes me a moment to realize that Rika has finally stopped moving. I hear one last groan of contentment before she collapses, laying atop me with her face alongside mine and her breath hot on my ear. I wait a moment to see if she’s going to start again… nope. Guess she’s finally had her fill.

“I think I did better that time,” I say.

She gives me a weak pat on the cheek.

“You didn’t do… shit…” she gasps.

It’s true. I didn’t last much longer than I did the first time—Rika just kept going anyways, refusing to let me get away with it.

“Are you okay?” I ask, a little concerned.

“Fine… I’m fine…”

I can both hear and feel the heaving in her chest, her lungs straining to get her breathing back under control. At some point during the sex I unbuttoned her blouse. Now that’s she on top of me with her chest bared, I can feel how hard her heart is pounding. I can also feel how different its beat is from mine—it’s steady and in rhythm, but beating fast, way faster than a heart probably should. I guess it has to work extra hard to make up for its defects.

I wrap an arm around her back and hold her limp body tight against mine, content to stay this way until she recovers. It takes a few minutes but Rika’s breathing and heartrate slowly return to normal.

“Okay. We need to shower,” she says, the color returning to her cheeks as she sits up.

“And I need to change these sheets…” I add.

“Ha, yeah, have fun with that.”

Rika swings her legs off the bed, then shrugs her blouse off and presents her back to me, bending over slightly.

“Get the bra for me, yeah? You might as well learn how to undo one.”

Only Rika would take more of her clothes off after sex, rather than putting them back on.

“My wish is your command,” I say sarcastically, taking hold of the undergarment and fiddling with the clasp until it comes undone. “You do know that the shower is down the hall, the right?”

“Why do you think I’m taking it all off?”

Rika pads over to the door and opens it, sticking her head out and looking both ways.

“You said your hall is empty, right?” Rika asks, glancing back at me for confirmation.

“Almost. There’s only one other guy, and he only leaves his room to go to the bathroom,” I say.

“So basically empty. Perfect!”

And out the door she goes, completely naked.

“Damn it! Rika!” I call after her, following her out with my own goods still uncovered.

Mercifully, Kenji is nowhere in sight. I was half expecting him to burst out of his room at hearing her voice, yelling about females infiltrating the motherbase or whatever. Rika doesn’t even acknowledge my call, just making her way casually into the bathroom like she owns the place. I guess we basically do… having an empty hall has its perks after all, I suppose. I follow her in, walking up to the stall in which I can hear the water running. Weird that she bothered closing the door…

“Hisao, move your ass! My back isn’t gonna scrub itself!” Rika calls out.

Her voice comes not from the stall in front of me but a different one further down the line. I freeze for a moment as my brain processes this. Someone is using this stall, and it’s not Rika… I flee to Rika’s stall and throw myself inside just in time, hearing the water turn off in the stall that I was right about to open.

“Whoa there!” Rika yells, reeling back as I nearly smack into her. “That eager to rub me down, huh?”

“Didn’t you see there’s someone in here?!” I hiss at her.

“Sure, but they’re doing their thing, so—”

“Nakai! Bro! That you?” Kenji yells, his voice overpowering Rika’s. Her eyes go wide and she breaks into a smile, growing steadily more amused as she sees me growing steadily more distressed. I clap a hand over her mouth and make a shushing gesture.

“Just stay still… maybe he won’t notice us…” I whisper.

She plays along for a few seconds as we hear Kenji traipsing around nearby. It doesn’t take long before she can’t take it anymore, though. Breaking from my grasp, Rika slowly pulls the stall door closed, then turns back to me with a wicked grin. I’m just staring at her, silently begging her not to do whatever she’s thought up. It’s no good.

“Oh, Hisao! Yes, yes! R-right there!” she moans, exaggerating her voice while banging on the stall door for a few times.

“You don’t know what you’re doing! He’s crazy!” I blurt out at her.

“What the holy fuck!” Kenji yells at the same time, rushing over to our stall and yanking it open without hesitation.

Even Rika is surprised at his lack of discretion, yelping and jumping back from his presence. He’s buck naked, just like her, soap suds still running down his body in a few places. Rika makes a half-hearted attempt to cover herself but she isn’t trying very hard, instead breaking down laughing when she takes a look at my face. I am not amused.

“Kenji! We’re fucking busy! Go away!!” I yell, clutching my crown jewels like my life depends on it. I don’t know why, he probably can’t see them anyways, but it’s just hard-wired into me I guess.

“Busy fucking?! Dude!! What have I told you! That’s how they get you man! Don’t worry, I’ll rescue you from this she-devil!”

Kenji reaches into the stall and yanks on my shirt, then recoils in horror when Rika grabs his wrist.

“Eeeekk! It touched me!” he yells, rubbing frantically at his wrist like it’s been burned.

“Ahahahaha!!” Rika roars, nearly doubling over with laughter. “Sorry, weirdass… aha, haha… he’s mine! Hands off!”

“No! I got here too late!! Shit, shit!” Kenji yells, backing away from the stall and flailing around as if Rika might rush him down at any second.

“Oh! Look, your friend’s happy to see me, too!” Rika says, pointing and laughing at Kenji’s manhood, which has grown steadily stiffer as this whole fiasco played out. Kenji looks down at it and gasps as if his dick has betrayed him.

“Aghh!! It’s happening again! I’m sorry, Nakai! I can’t fight it! She’s got me under her hold! This is it, soldier!” Kenji exclaims, advancing slowly towards the open shower stall once more.

“Want to join us, huh? I think we can make room…” Rika says suggestively. Kenji fixes his gaze on her chest, apparently entering some sort of trance.

“Rika! Seriously?!” I chastise her.

“Got something against threesomes? C’mon, you just had me, nice and long. You can share!” she says, cackling with laughter.

“Willpower… failing…” Kenji says, raising his arms as he comes within striking distance of us. “Nakai… I’m sorry… at least we’ll go down together…”

This is not happening. I whirl around and hide behind Rika, shamelessly using her naked body to cover mine as I reach up and take hold of the showerhead. I aim it at Kenji’s face and turn the knob over as far as it’ll go.

“Mpwaffhawgg!!” Kenji yells, falling on his ass as hot water blasts him nearly point-blank. He scutters back across the floor as I spray him, continuing to yowl and yelp.

“Kenji. Fuck. OFF!!” I scream at him.

Finally getting the message, he scrambles to his feet and flies out of the bathroom.

“I won’t forget your sacrifice, Nakai!” he yells back at us as he makes his retreat.

Rika is still laughing her ass off. I turn the shower onto her in turn, not particularly pleased that she just showed my insane hallmate everything. She sputters and slaps at me, still laughing while trying to fight off the shower-spray.

“Asshole!” she yells at me.

“Asshole?! You tried to fuck my hallmate!”

“Hey! I woulda given you first pick on which end you want!”

“Rika! That’s disgusting!”

She catches me with a solid shove and wrests the shower out of my grip; I lose my balance and fall right on my rear, with her standing over me triumphantly. Wiping my wet hair out of my face, I give a sigh of exasperation.

“You’re not serious, are you?” I ask.

Her grin immediately tells me that I shouldn’t have asked.

“What’s disgusting about it? You sure didn’t think this was disgusting five minutes ago,” she says, grabbing my head in both hands and pulling it suddenly towards her crotch.

“Ackk!!” I yell, smacking at her legs in protest. The hits cause her to tumble down on top of me, laughing again as she comes to rest in my lap.

“Hey now. You like taking, but you won’t give?” she says, holding my lower lip between her thumb and forefinger.

“Not… here! Now!” I protest. “Maybe we should actually, you know, get a fucking shower! Like we came in here to do!”

Now it’s Rika’s turn to sigh, looking at me like I’m a nagging mother ruining all her fun.

“Fiiine,” she says, standing up and reaching for the soap. “So, that was your hallmate? What the fuck is his problem? I thought Yamaku didn’t take the mentally disabled.”

“They don’t? They took you,” I say, stripping my wet shirt off and throwing it out of the shower.

“Oooh!” Rika says with a wince. “…that wasn’t half-bad!”

I allow myself a small smirk at her approval, rubbing her shoulders as she works herself over with the soap.

“Yeah, that’s Kenji. As for what’s wrong with him? Fuck if I know. Guy has some kind of big hang-up about women—he rants about feminism, and how feminists have a conspiracy to take over Japan somehow. Thinks he’s the only sane man in an insane world, stuff like that,” I explain.

“He sounds interesting. Does he have one of those big boards of crazy with the strings connecting everything in his room?”

“Probably. I’ve never been in there and God willing I never will.”

“You don’t hang out with him?” she asks, handing me the soap and pointing to her back.

“Not if I can help it. I, umm… I did end up hanging out with him for the school festival. We went up on the school roof and got shitfaced on whiskey that he somehow has. It was pretty lame…” I say as she unbraids her hair.

“Lame? Shit, wish I’d been invited!” Rika says, whirling around and poking me in the chest. “I mean, I’d have to pass on the whiskey, but it still sounds like fun.”

“I don’t think it’d be that much fun if you really knew him,” I say. Rika takes the shampoo and lathers up as I talk. “You saw what happened just now. He’d be yelling at you the whole time about how you’re a succubus that’s going to pull our souls out of us through your mouth.”

“Sounds like the guy knows what’s up,” Rika says before dipping her head under the shower. I hold her around her waist, enjoying the warmth of her skin as she washes her hair. It occurs to me that, after my experiences with Rika, maybe Kenji did have a point all along… Rika leans back out of the water, turning her head to kiss me on the cheek. “At least he has something interesting to say,” she adds.

“Yeah, well, he might be ‘interesting,’ but he’s also a total asshole with no tact or self-awareness,” I say.

“Sounds like my type,” Rika says with a shrug.

“Heh, actually, it does, huh? Just don’t go getting any ideas. If I’m not allowed to talk to other girls, you sure as hell aren’t allowed to get frisky with Kenji.”

“Hmm. We’ll see.”

I narrow my eyes suspiciously, still trying to figure out how serious she is.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

Rika breaks from my hold and turns around, pulling me into the stream of water so that I can have my turn.

“It means you’ll come around on some things,” she says cryptically, dropping to her knees and taking hold of my exposed privates, shaft in one hand and sack in the other. I jerk a bit at the sudden stimulation. “Pass me that soap, I’ll clean you up down here,” Rika says, moving her hands a lot more than is really necessary. I recognize this as a ploy to distract me… but I give in to it all the same. I wonder how many guys can say they’ve gotten a handjob while washing their hair.

I also wonder if this girl ever stops thinking about sex…

***

…the answer seems to be “no,” as we aren’t back in my room for more than a few minutes before she’s squirming around and holding onto me in familiar patterns.

She also never put any of her clothes back on, insisting that she likes to “lounge around” naked.

“Listen, Rika, you’re really gonna have to give it a rest,” I say, holding her head and pressing it into my shoulder.

“Grrr…” she growls in annoyance.

“You’ve gotta give me some time to reload.”

“That’s the best time to go for it,” Rika insists.

“When I feel like a well that’s been pumped dry?”

“Yeah! That’s how you keep it up, dude. You get the easy one out first and then you get to have the real fun.”

I consider for a moment, deciding that she has a point.

“Still, if you’re gonna sit here naked all night, we’ve got plenty of time for that. I’m gonna lay off for a bit.”

“Do we though? I dunno, it’s getting kind of late…”

Rika flops over on her side and rests her head on one of my pillows, closing her eyes and making an exaggerated yawn.

“Ahhh… soo tired… I think I might just, go right to sleep…” she teases.

“Sounds great to me,” I say, starting to get off the bed. “Just lemme go brush my teeth and stuff.”

“Whoa whoa,” Rika says, snapping out of her “sleepiness” and sitting up to grab me around the waist. “What I meant was, I need someone to really put me to sleep, you know?”

I push her gently back, laying down alongside her with my arm cradling her head.

“You’re impossible,” I say.

“See, with the theater, it was all so simple. The movie’s done, you go home.”

“Now I’m just stuck with you.”

“That’s right. Still here and still horny. I mean, I could just get dressed and go back to my room, if you wanted.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re sleeping here at this point.”

“Yep.”

Rika stares at me. I just stare back at her, content to look into her fierce red eyes. She’s decidedly not content to do this for very long, huffing and breaking the eye contact.

“Ugghhh!! This is boring, Hisao. What are we doing?”

“We can’t just cuddle for a while?”

“Cuddle. Ick,” Rika says, spitting the word out of her mouth like it has a bad taste.

“You’ve got to have something you do besides sex.”

“Nope,” Rika says flatly. “What about you?”

“Well, I did take up running for a minute.”

“Only a minute? Still longer than you lasted in—”

“Oh hush. Nurse said I should get an exercise routine going to strengthen my heart.”

“So you did have a reason for hanging out with wonder girl.”

“Yeah, well, I only went for like two days. I guess I’m getting a different sort of exercise routine now…”

I expect Rika to make some remark about how I should start “exercising” right now but she seems surprisingly thoughtful all of a sudden.

“You know,” she says, raising her head to rest it on her hand. “You really could use some cardio… I can’t be the one doing all the work in this relationship.”

“Right, that’s why I should take up running again. Not to stay alive, but so I can please you in bed.”

“Gotta have your priorities straight,” Rika agrees.

“Wait… did you just admit that we’re in a relationship?”

“Uhh, you’ve been having some sort of sex with me for a while now. Pretty sure that’s a relationship,” Rika says matter-of-factly.

“…Huh.”

This hasn’t felt anything like what I imagined a relationship would, but I guess she’s right. At least I know where I stand now.

“Really though,” Rika insists. “What do you think? Feel like becoming a track star?”

“Why are you so interested in this all of a sudden? At first you didn’t want me to talk to ‘that no-legged bitch.’”

“Well yeah, I’m not saying you need to go running with her.”

“I do think I need a partner, and I don’t think it can be you. Besides, if I’m at the track, I’m gonna run into her anyways.”

“Point taken. Alright, you’re allowed to talk to her. Just remember: Don’t. Go. Into. The track shed!”

“Oh, I’m allowed to talk to other girls again? Careful, next thing you know I’ll be asking for an open relationship.”

“Yeah, you’d definitely get the better end of that deal.”

“…Is that a challenge?” I ask.

“Maybe it is. You know what? If you actually got somewhere with wonder girl, I’d have to give you some props. ‘Course, if you really wanted to show me what a stud you are…”

Rika lifts a bare leg up and around my back, pressing herself insistently into me.

“…You could just show me right here, right now.”

Aaand here we are again, right back to where we started.

“Maybe we should just get some rest after all,” I say. “Especially if I’m gonna wake up early to go running.”

“If you actually get off your ass and do it, I’ll make it worth your while after class.”

“Let’s not pretend, you were gonna do that anyways,” I say, getting off the bed and beginning to strip out of my clothes. If she’s going to sleep naked, then I don’t see any need to keep all this on. I’ll probably still wear my boxers, though something tells me those won’t last the night either.

“Ha, that’s true. You know that if we go to bed now, I’m not gonna let you sleep through the night?” Rika says.

“Ohh, believe you me. I know. Up, up, I still need to change these sheets. Maybe you can wash them for me while I’m at the track.”

You always send me on an emotional roller-coaster! Your Hisao, just like the one in the original VN, has me shouting at him to NOT DO THAT YOU DUMBASS!! And I really like how you show him adapting to her.

Daw, thanks for the shoutout

I said it in the discord server but I'll totally say it again: I love what you've done with Rika here, although I didn't initially. That's not to say I don't like your writing - I love and am envious of it. The first chapter was fun and then by the end of the second I ended up hating Rika. I mean that in the best way possible - it's the same type of hatred I have for well written villains, like Cersei Lannister. I was definitely feeling it from Hisao's perspective there.

The way you've written Hisao is in character in such a way that not a lot of authors manage to even attempt, where he misses the manly picnic but is still the sullen bitter son of a bitch that he is right before he falls off the roof with Kenji. You've managed to portray the "Well, fuck it then" attitude really well. Similarly, I think this is the only version of Hisao that would work with a character like your Rika.

Speaking of Rika, I know this started as edgy but you've done something not a lot of people can do convincingly - turn her from edgy to a believable nihilist. That's what turned it around for me - edgy characters get boring after a chapter or two if that's all they are, but you added a depth to her that makes me invested. The fact that you wrote her as an existential nihilist as opposed to a cosmic nihilist amazes me.

The smut is good. Damned good.

It's been a rewarding read for sure, and I thank you for sharing it! Looking forward to seeing how this concludes.

Interesting. You're certainly good at capturing the mood you want. The first chapter was a bit inconstant though. It seemed Rika bounced between flirty and fun and bitter and cynical a bit too much. Likewise things certainly escalated quickly between them. Too quickly really. Much of this story seems rather out of character for Hisao. His is one of the dumbest Hisaos who's ever dumbassed and most of his actions don't feel like they make a lick of sense. They don't even seem to match his train of thought at most times.

Chapter four is the first time the two of them actually feel like they're acting like real people. There's some depth to who they are and how they feel about it each, but that just seems to make it more clear that they really shouldn't have anything to do with each other. And then Rika starts up the sex while Hisao is trying to talk. And Hisao is okay with that.

And that marks the point where I'm just done with this version of Hisao.

Rika is interesting though. If you were going for unlikable you certainly nailed it.

I have to agree with Oddball here: You managed to make Rika extremely unlikeable in this story.
Hisao as well by the way.
And since the story seemed to be about nothing else but fucking I stopped reading halfway through - something not many stories have managed...

Alright, and here's my new round of chapters! I'm going to try to wrap up the story with the next update after this one.

Eurobeatjester wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2019 4:02 am Daw, thanks for the shoutout

I said it in the discord server but I'll totally say it again: I love what you've done with Rika here, although I didn't initially. That's not to say I don't like your writing - I love and am envious of it. The first chapter was fun and then by the end of the second I ended up hating Rika. I mean that in the best way possible - it's the same type of hatred I have for well written villains, like Cersei Lannister. I was definitely feeling it from Hisao's perspective there.

The way you've written Hisao is in character in such a way that not a lot of authors manage to even attempt, where he misses the manly picnic but is still the sullen bitter son of a bitch that he is right before he falls off the roof with Kenji. You've managed to portray the "Well, fuck it then" attitude really well. Similarly, I think this is the only version of Hisao that would work with a character like your Rika.

Speaking of Rika, I know this started as edgy but you've done something not a lot of people can do convincingly - turn her from edgy to a believable nihilist. That's what turned it around for me - edgy characters get boring after a chapter or two if that's all they are, but you added a depth to her that makes me invested. The fact that you wrote her as an existential nihilist as opposed to a cosmic nihilist amazes me.

The smut is good. Damned good.

It's been a rewarding read for sure, and I thank you for sharing it! Looking forward to seeing how this concludes.

I really don't know what the difference between existential vs cosmic nihilism means, so I managed to do whatever that is unintentionally! And yes Hisao is one sullen bitter son of a bitch--it's always been noted that his character changes according to which girl he gets with, something which I absolutely had in mind here. Thanks for your praise and to Scroff as well!

Oddball wrote: ↑Mon Jun 24, 2019 10:34 am Interesting. You're certainly good at capturing the mood you want. The first chapter was a bit inconstant though. It seemed Rika bounced between flirty and fun and bitter and cynical a bit too much. Likewise things certainly escalated quickly between them. Too quickly really. Much of this story seems rather out of character for Hisao. His is one of the dumbest Hisaos who's ever dumbassed and most of his actions don't feel like they make a lick of sense. They don't even seem to match his train of thought at most times.

Chapter four is the first time the two of them actually feel like they're acting like real people. There's some depth to who they are and how they feel about it each, but that just seems to make it more clear that they really shouldn't have anything to do with each other. And then Rika starts up the sex while Hisao is trying to talk. And Hisao is okay with that.

And that marks the point where I'm just done with this version of Hisao.

Rika is interesting though. If you were going for unlikable you certainly nailed it.

Yeah I won't really try to mount much defense for Hisao--I'm not sure what his personality is "supposed" to be outside of being a loser who lucks his way into getting laid. I've never made it a secret that I consider the typical portrayal of Hisao to be boring so I absolutely went into this story intending to have him serve its purposes. The one thing I will say is that he is a huge dumbass regarding sex in all five routes of the game, every single one of them, so if anything I would say that is one of his most consistent "canon" traits. A sensible Hisao would stop seeing Rika after that first "date" and that would be the end of it, you're right about that.

And yes definitely going for unlikable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

---

Chapter 6

As I slow to a stop, I lean over a bit and place my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Emi whizzes on by me again like it’s nothing. Right now I can understand why Rika hates her so much, I think. I wipe the sweat from my brow on my way over to a bench, picking up a much-needed towel and water bottle. I’m not sure what’s more sore… my chest or my legs. Well, it’s probably my chest, but only because I didn’t run long enough to really punish my legs.

After doing another lap at blinding speed, Emi trots up to me.

“Don’t stop on my account…” I say.

“I’m not,” Emi says, sitting down next to me. “It’s time for my break, too.”

“…Huh.”

She certainly doesn’t seem winded enough for a break. Guess that comes with practice.

“I’m glad you came back, Hisao. Surprised, but glad. It’s easier to keep up a routine with a partner, you know?”

I’ve been made aware of that, yes.

“Yeah, well. I’m surprised I came back, too. Wasn’t planning on it, honestly,” I say.

“I didn’t think so, either. You really didn’t want to do this when we first tried it.”

“That’s not true, I just wasn’t in the right…”

Emi gives me a look of reproach.

“…Okay, yeah, I really didn’t want to do it,” I admit.

“What changed your mind?” she asks. “Just couldn’t stay away from me?”

“Ha. No, I mean… someone told me I should.”

“Someone besides Nurse?”

“Yeah. Someone else.”

“Wow, you must’ve made a fast friend, then. Unless… it wasn’t mommy and daddy, was it?”

“No! No!” I deny immediately. “I’ve barely talked to my parents!”

“Good. I’d be pretty disappointed if you were only hanging out with me because your folks forced you to.”

“You make it sound like they’d be playing matchmaker somehow.”

“I’m sure they’d be happy if you ended up with a cute girl, Hisao. That’s my next guess… hmm… Shizune and Misha? They’re always interested in new students.”

“No, not them. They never said anything about exercise, they just wanted me to join the Student Council.”

“No? C’mon, Hisao, it’s okay if it was. I won’t be bothered that you listened to them and not me. Promise!”

The look on her face tells me she would definitely be bothered. Good thing I’m not lying to her.

“No, it wasn’t them! Seriously!”

“Well then, who?”

“It was, uhh… Rika. Rika Katayama.”

“Katayama? Hmm.”

Emi takes a moment to think, as if trying to remember who that is.

“White hair, second year? Bad heart?”

“Yep. That’d be her.”

“I guess she would know how important exercise is for keeping your heart healthy!”

“…She sure does like exercise, that’s true.”

“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her down here at the track.”

“Err, just not running.”

“Okay. Well, maybe she can join you sometime!”

I hesitate to further explain Rika’s condition to Emi, then realize that if Rika cared, she wouldn’t have allowed the whole school to know about it in the first place.

“I don’t think she can, Emi. Her condition is… it’s too severe for strenuous exercise like running. She has to do… other stuff.”

“Oh? ‘Other stuff?’ Like pilates?”

“Heh. Not exactly, but sure, sort of like that.”

I have no idea what pilates is.

“Well, I’m glad you met someone that you care about.”

“What does that mean?”

“Hm?”

“Someone that I care about?”

“This girl got you to get off your ass and get back out here. Me and Nurse tried and we sure couldn’t do it. So you must think something of her,” Emi asserts.

She’s right. For some reason that bothers me, although I’m not sure why, or if it even should. Why did such a casual mention by Rika motivate me to come back out here and do something I hate? Because if I didn’t do it, then I’d be, I don’t know? Letting her down? It’s more that I want to prove her wrong, I think. Maybe I just don’t want to be that sad sack she painted me as.

“Yeah. I guess that’s true,” I admit.

“Aww, Hicchan’s already got a crush!” Emi teases me.

“Hicchan?! Where’d you get that?”

“Misha shouts it every time she sees you, haha!”

“Yeah, well! Don’t call me that! It… doesn’t sound right!”

“You never told Misha not to say it… Hiiicchaaan~!”

“Ughh!”

I shudder a bit at Emi’s disturbingly good impersonation of the pink-haired dynamo.

“She’d never listen, though. You might!” I point out.

“Ahaha! Maybe so! Make you a deal, you keep coming out to run in the mornings, and I won’t say Hicchan?”

“Deal,” I say with a smile.

“Great! It’s good to see you like this, Hisao. You’re cute when you’re happy.”

“I’m stuck out here trying to keep up with you at the crack of dawn. I assure you, I am not happy,” I retort.

“Oh, you know what I mean!” Emi says, slapping my knee. “When you first got here, you seemed pretty down and out. Me and Nurse were both concerned.”

“Yeah, well…”

I’m right about to say it, to say that I was stuck in a hospital for months, that I lost all my friends and even my first crush, then got shipped off away from my old life completely. Of course I was upset. Is that really what I want to say? Self-pity again?

“I was kind of a wet blanket, yeah,” I acknowledge. “Not saying I’m not still, mind you. Just figured out maybe Yamaku isn’t the worst place ever.”

“Sure isn’t, especially for a guy like you. I know you already found one, but there’s tons of cute girls here, you know,” Emi says, giving me a devious look.

“That there are,” I agree. “The gender ratio does seem… skewed. Someone said that me coming here was like chumming the water in a tank of sharks.”

Emi bursts out laughing at that.

“I don’t know if it’s that bad, but yeah, sometimes it kind of seems that way. So you and this Katayama girl… you’re an item?”

I raise my eyebrows warily at her.

“Define ‘item.’”

“Wellll… have you told her how you feel?”

Oh Emi. If only you knew. I guess me and Rika did establish that we’re in a relationship, though.

“Erm. Yeah, yeah I have. So sure. We’re an item.”

“You don’t sound completely sure of that,” Emi says.

“It’s just… it happened kind of fast. We’re still working through it,” I say.

“No kidding. I might be the fastest thing on the track, but when it comes to dating, I think you’ve got me beat, Hisao. Still, if you’re not totally taken already? Maybe you have some time on Saturday?”

Is she asking me on a date?

“What for?” I ask suspiciously.

“The track team is having a get-together in Miki’s room. We like to kick back and relax when we can. Don’t worry, there will be other kids there too, besides just the track team. You should come.”

Oh. Sounds like a party. Ironic, I never went to any such events back when I lived a “normal” life. Why does this still feel like she’s asking me out? Maybe Rika’s just made me paranoid…

“Sounds like fun,” I say.

“What does?” Rika asks.

I jump in surprise at her voice. She’s right behind us! I should’ve known she wouldn’t make this easy…

“Yikes!” Emi yells, matching my surprise.

“Busy staring lovingly at each other? Don’t let me stop you,” Rika says.

“Jealous?” I shoot back.

“You wish,” she says, sitting down next to me.

Despite that denial, she hooks her arm possessively around mine, smushing herself up into my side. To be fair she’s pretty much always done that regardless of who else is around. Emi’s eyes shift between us like we’re a pair of aliens. I feel a bit embarrassed at realizing how awkward our demeanor must be for her. Guess I should introduce these two, even if they seem to already be aware of each other…

“Erm, so yeah, this is her,” I say to Emi. “Rika Katayama. And Rika this is…”

“Emi Ibarazaki the no-legged wonder,” she finishes for me.

Yeah I should’ve seen that one coming, too. I’m just thankful she’s not saying “no-legged bitch” this time.

“Umm. Pleased to meet you, Rika,” Emi says awkwardly.

“So you were talking about me just now, huh?” Rika says, blowing past our poor attempts at formalities. “And here I thought I might really have something to worry about. I didn’t actually expect you to get back to this running thing, you know.”

“Well, Hicchan said he’s doing it for you,” Emi says before I can respond.

Rika sniggers at that.

“Hicchan? What the hell?”

“I thought we just made a deal about that,” I say to Emi with a frown.

“I promised not to say it to you. I can still say it to other people!” Emi clarifies.

I don’t remember negotiating that particular term…

“Well, if you’re trying to steal him from me, giving him a cutesy nickname is a good start,” Rika says. “Hicchan here’s just a big ol’ sweetie,” she continues in a faux-affectionate voice, giving me a kiss on the neck that’s a bit longer than really necessary. It’s probably meant to make Emi uncomfortable but instead she just seems to enjoy seeing me squirm a bit. Why does every girl here have this same wicked sense of humor?

“Not you too…” I groan at Rika as they both laugh.

“I don’t think I could steal him even if I tried. You’ve got a pretty tight hold there,” Emi points out.

“I do have… certain attractive features, I suppose,” Rika says, stretching her legs out.

“Hey, most guys are all about the thighs. I still got those!” Emi says, matching Rika by kicking her running blades up a bit.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I meant these,” Rika clarifies, arching her back to emphasize her chest. “You seem to be missing more than one part.”

“Yeah, and I don’t have the attitude, either,” Emi says, pouting defensively.

“Something wrong? You thought it was hilarious when we were screwing with this lug a few seconds ago,” Rika says, squeezing my arm.

Emi’s eyes narrow dangerously. While she’s maintaining her composure, it’s clear that Rika is quickly getting under her skin as only Rika can. This is what I was afraid of—I can’t let it escalate.

“Yeah, dumb ol’ Hisao, Yamaku’s favorite punching bag!” I announce awkwardly, deciding to turn Rika’s games back on her to shift the mood. I lift my arm up and around her back, pulling her forcefully down and into my side in an overly-enthusiastic hug. “C’mere, you! I don’t know what we’d do without each other!” I say, trying to imitate Rika’s fake lovey-dovey voice as I pat her on top of the head with my other hand.

“Hey! Lemme go! Oww! Asshole!” Rika protests, slapping ineffectively at me.

I realize for the first time just how substantial the strength difference between us is. For some reason I kind of expected her to be able to fight me off… but if anything, she’s even more feeble than her frail appearance would suggest. I quickly let up out of genuine fear that I might hurt her. Fortunately, I’ve succeeded in shifting the mood. Emi is clearly amused to see me delivering some payback on her behalf.

“Lovers don’t usually need to manhandle each other, y’know!” Rika says, rubbing her head and leaning down in defeat.

“What can I say? It’s just so hard to keep my hands off you,” I say, squeezing her side gently.

“Enjoy it while you can. Class starts in like two minutes or something, then you’re just gonna have to make do without me for a while. Come on,” she says, getting up and trying to pull me to my feet along with her.

I can’t help but grin a little at her completely inability to move me.

“Hold up a sec,” I say. “Before you showed up, Emi was just inviting me to this party thing the track team is doing on Saturday. Wanna go?”

I look to Emi for approval. I’m not sure how she feels about Rika at this point but I figure she’s not going to invite me then tell me my girlfriend can’t come.

“Yeah, you should come along,” Emi says. “You can meet some other girls that do have all your parts—including the attitude. I bet you and Miki would get along great.”

“Sounds lame,” Rika says flatly.

She’s just saying that to be petulant, I think. She’s not really that opposed to going. Well, even if she is…

“Suit yourself,” I say with a shrug. “I’m going one way or the other. Gotta get out of the dorm room every now and then.”

Rika glares at me for a moment, then seems to warm up a bit as she thinks of something.

“…Can I bring a friend?” she asks Emi.

“Rika, I’m the one she invited in the first—” I start.

“Not you, dumbass,” Rika cuts in.

“Err, sure. The more the merrier,” Emi agrees.

“Alright. We’ll see. Now hurry up Hicchan, or we’re seriously gonna be late,” Rika says.

“Since when do you care about being on time?” I ask, finally getting up and beginning to walk away with her. Emi hangs back, possibly wanting to avoid walking to class with us. As we start to pull apart I turn back to her for a moment.

“See you tomorrow morning,” I say.

“See you on Saturday,” she says back with a wink that Rika doesn’t see, as she’s busy pulling me stubbornly ahead.

“Maybe sending you back to wonder bitch wasn’t the best idea after all…” Rika growls as we move farther away from Emi.

“Problem?” I ask.

Rika stops and huffs in annoyance, then closes her eyes, lets her body relax, and takes a deep breath. When she opens her eyes again, all the fluster is gone and she’s back to normal. Rika’s version of normal, at least.

“It would probably help if you didn’t take her side,” Rika says as we start walking again.

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t play dumb. That little choke hold? Right when I was getting to her? You know what you’re doing.”

“Do you think I should just let you piss off every single other person I come into contact with?”

“Umm. Yes. Obviously.”

I shake my head and laugh.

“Nah. If you can show my hallmate everything, I at least get to talk to other girls,” I say.

“I guess I’ll let you have that much, Hisao,” Rika relents, her voice returning to its usual sarcastic tone.

“No Hicchan?”

“Do I seem like I’d be fond of pet names? I was just going along with it to try and screw with her.”

“I figured you would say it to screw with me.”

“I have better ways of screwing with you.”

“Can’t argue there.”

Things move so quickly that I completely forget to ask Rika about this mystery friend of hers before we part ways.

Chapter 7

Rika doesn’t show up at the track to bother me the next morning. I wonder if this is her giving me some space or just being too lazy to get up early… the more I think about it, the more certain I am it’s the latter. Emi seems a bit on edge, with more of that fake happiness she puts on when she’s trying to hide her apprehension. I’m not sure what to make of that but at least she’s still being friendly. Maybe there’s nothing to any of it. Maybe I’m trying to analyze people a bit too much…

That concern makes me happy to walk to lunch with Misha and Shizune. My initial annoyance with them has shifted to a calm appreciation of their companionship. They no longer get on my nerves after dealing with Rika. They don’t play any games—or rather, the games they play are obvious and out in the open. They don’t hide the ball, they say what they mean. It probably also helps that they finally gave up on trying to make me join the Student Council.

As if she can sense this and feels an intuitive need to disrupt it, Rika joins our table shortly after we’re seated. This would already be quite the event even if she were alone, but she isn’t. Another girl is hanging on her arm; I feel a twinge of jealousy before realizing the likely reason for this gesture. The other girl walks with a cane and a visible stiffness to her movements, having the gait of an elderly person despite her slender and attractive figure. Her chestnut-brown hair falls around deep eyes of the same color, her face wearing a reserved expression that contrasts with Rika’s energy.

They both sit down abruptly and begin unpacking their lunches.

“Hi, Ricchan, hi~!” Misha immediately greets Rika.

Rika coughs before giving Misha a false grin and a wave.

“Shicchan says, it’s good you’re going to keep Hicchan company! We were worried you two got in a fight!”

Rika looks slowly between Misha and Shizune, as if sizing them both up. I wonder how much they’ve interacted in the past. Rika seems like she would’ve surely gotten herself in trouble with the Student Council a few times… all of them are unreadable. Misha and Rika both only have one mode while Shizune does a good job with her poker face.

“You seem awfully knowledgeable about our love life,” Rika says carefully, giving me a pointed look.

As if I’d go around giving out the real juicy details on that. That’s what I want to say… it must be so convenient for Shizune and Misha, being able to speak to each other in plain sight without others understanding them.

“Well~! Hicchan said you guys broke up! I’m glad you’re still friends, though. And~! You even found a new girlfriend already! Wahaha~! What’s her name?” Misha continues.

“Umm,” I try to say, though I don’t even know where to start with correcting her.

“Actually, we never broke up. Dunno what he said to you,” Rika says, “But you know how he is. Kinda dense sometimes.”

Misha pauses in legitimate surprise at the casual insult before switching back to her bubbly self.

“Ahahahaha~! That’s right, Ricchan, he is, isn’t he? Wahaha~!”

I smirk at Rika, who now looks a bit dumbfounded in turn. Clearly she was not expecting Misha to play along this readily. Little does she know, these two are second only to her in poking fun at me.

“Err. Yeah. So, this is… ?” I prompt, looking pointedly past Rika to the silent girl sitting on her other side. A change of subject would be nice, plus I’m legitimately curious. Seems like it’s time to meet the mystery friend Rika mentioned yesterday. The girl turns her head slowly to face me, her reserved smile held firmly in place.

“Saki Enomoto. Spinocerebellar ataxia. A degenerative neurological disorder that degrades coordination and motor function over time. It is progressive and fatal,” the girl intones, her light and airy voice contrasting harshly with words that sound like they’re read from a medical book.

“Huh?” I ask. I don’t know what I expected but it certainly wasn’t this.

“That’s my condition,” Saki explains calmly. “Rika tells me yours is—”

“Ah uhh uhh—that’s—wow, I’m not sure what to—” I sputter, trying to stop her from continuing.

“Oh shut up. He’s got arrythmia,” Rika says. “Basically like me, except not as bad.”

“Long-QT Syndrome. Arrythmia is a symptom, not a disease in and of itself,” Saki corrects her.

“…yeah…” I agree quietly, looking down and scratching my head awkwardly.

“Shicchan says, that’s terrible. She won’t tell anyone else if you don’t want, Hicchan,” Misha says.

I can hear the concern in her tone, the conversation immediately turning somber. The contrast between the two girls next to me and the two across from me makes the situation decidedly awkward. The Student Council is clearly worried for me while my girlfriend and her friend don’t seem concerned at all. To be fair both of them have conditions even worse than mine… I remember what Saki said. “Progressive and fatal.” Fatal. What right do I have to be sensitive when she introduces herself with that?

A wave of sudden disgust at myself passes through me.

“Thanks, Misha,” I say, letting out a sigh. “But there’s no point in hiding it, really. Rika’s basically correct, my condition is similar to hers, though not as severe.”

“Ohhh~!” Misha says, a lightbulb going off in her head. “Is that why you two fell for each other?! That’s so romantic! You both have broken hearts, so if you put them together, it’s like you’ve got a whole one~!”

That’s way more profound than I expected from Misha, and this time she said it too fast for me to suspect it’s actually Shizune saying it.

“I—didn’t think about it like that, but thanks, Misha. I guess that’s kinda true.”

Rika just chuckles at the idea, clearly amused by Misha’s earnestness.

“D’awww. I wonder which one of us is the better half?” she wonders, leaning into me and hugging me around the side.

“You did, in fact, meet through your conditions,” Saki says. “Unless I’m mistaken?”

“Hmm. Yeah, actually. We were both in to see the Nurse and I caught him with his shirt off. He’s got some nice pecks for a guy that was just bedridden for three months!” Rika remarks.

“That’s like something someone would write in a romance manga! Ahaha~, that’s so sweet!” Misha says.

“I guess we were just meant to be,” I say, playing along with the mood. I’m glad that it’s lightened back up.

“Deafness,” Saki suddenly says, apparently ignoring anything else around her as she nods at Shizune. Then she turns to Misha and narrows her eyes, her expression changing for the first time. “But you…”

“Hm~? Me? What about me, Sacchan?” Misha asks innocently.

“…what are you?” Saki asks, studying Misha like a biologist discovering a new species and deciding what to name it.

“Whuh?! I’m Misha, of course~!”

Shizune hides her mouth and turns away, shaking with silent laughter at their mutual confusion.

“I told you, Saki, not everyone here has a disability. Give it up already,” Rika says.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“She claims not to have a condition,” Saki explains, looking at Misha.

“Umm… I don’t understand, Sacchan,” Misha says. “Is that why you said why you’re here? You want to know everyone’s disabilities?”

“She probably knows more about your condition than you do. Sure does mine, she could basically be my doctor,” Rika says. “Assuming you had a disability, that is. Other than being a giant goofball, if you want to count that.”

“No one comes here without a reason,” Saki says stubbornly.

“Well, of course I had a reason, Sacchan! I wanted to learn sign language!” Misha says.

“You aren’t deaf,” Saki says, almost as if they’re debating the point.

“Let it go. You’re killing the mood,” Rika says with a huff.

Shizune makes a few forceful signs that make it clear she agrees, even before Misha translates.

“Shicchan says, you shouldn’t pry into people’s private business anyways!”

Saki grudgingly relents, returning to her calm silence. What a strange friend for Rika to have, I think. Though given how strange Rika herself is, maybe it fits. Takes one weirdo to handle another one, or something like that.

Does that make me a weirdo too, I wonder?

---

The day comes and goes. It feels off-putting to sit at lunch next to Rika, with a group of people, having fairly normal social interactions as boyfriend and girlfriend. The ordinary seems bizarre after my experiences with her thus far. I have to admit, I expected her to be more anti-social than this, though I suppose she got by at Yamaku before me somehow or another. Probably just overthinking things again. Saki doesn’t say much else, remaining quiet and inscrutable. The pair of them complement each other, I think, just like Shizune and Misha.

I expect Saki to hang out with us after class too but she’s nowhere to be seen. When I ask Rika, she simply explains that Saki will do as Saki does. The evening passes, through the night, and into Saturday morning. Me and Rika have sex about as often as she can coax me into it, which is fairly often. I realize that not only am I no longer so utterly confused by her, I’m actually beginning to feel quite comfortable around her. I guess being inside of someone over and over really does do wonders for your emotional connection to them… for me, at least.

Rika’s behavior is no different, of course. It’s my attitude that has changed, not hers. Still… I think I could get used to this.

---

And just like that, Emi’s little gathering is upon us. I can’t deny that it makes me a bit nervous. I’ve been trying not to think about it too hard… fortunately I had ample distractions so long as Rika was hanging around. She went back to her dorm a bit earlier though, to freshen up and the like, leaving me to stew in my thoughts. I feel like I should be getting ready somehow, doing something to prepare. Girls are the ones who put on makeup and do their hair, though. I don’t know what to do besides put on a new sweatervest.

Plus, it’s the track team. Are they really gonna be all glammed up for some little get-together in a dorm room? I doubt it. It’ll probably be fine. I check the time for what feels like the thousandth time in the past hour. She said to be there at six… that’s still an hour from now. I could have sworn I waited longer than that before I looked at the clock again… maybe I should just go on and head over. I can meet Rika in her room and we can walk in there together. No doubt she’ll enjoy making a big show of hanging onto my arm and everything.

I’m met with a minor surprise when I see Saki sitting in the lobby of the girls’ dorm. She gives me a small wave and begins struggling to her feet, leaning heavily on her cane. I rush over to help, placing one arm under her shoulder and another around her waist to help pull her up.

“Hey, don’t push yourself,” I say.

“Thank you, Hisao. May I?” she asks, hovering her free hand near my arm.

“Umm…”

“Rika will not mind,” Saki assures me.

“Heh, yeah, probably not. Sure, I’d be happy to have another pretty girl on my arm.”

“Shall we then?”

“I suppose we shall.”

Walking with Saki attached to me is an odd experience. I immediately step forward too fast for her and nearly pull her down—I didn’t account for how slow she is. She stumbles clumsily but waves me off as I apologize, seemingly unfazed. Once I move at her pace instead of mine we’re able to stay in step without issue, though it still feels weird to plod along at such a snail’s pace. Again Saki’s movements make me think of an old person with severe arthritis—even walking like this seems to visibly strain her.

I really want to ask about her condition. It just seems so impolite… she introduced herself with it, though. Including the fact that it’s fatal, which I can’t get out of my head. I get the sense that she just isn’t sensitive about it despite its severity. She’d have to be that way, to be friends with Rika.

“Err, Saki?”

“Yes?”

“I was just wondering a bit more about…”

“My spinocerebellar ataxia?”

I wince with guilt at her easy reading of me. I guessed right about her, though. Rather than being shy or upset, if anything she looks a little excited to talk about it. I give her a little nod of confirmation.

“As I said, it is a degenerative neurological condition. It’s hereditary. Neither of my parents present symptoms, suggesting that both carry a recessive gene for the disorder. My case is particularly severe, with early-onset symptoms for motor function and coordination. As you can see, walking has already become difficult for me.”

“Yeah, I… that’s intense, Saki. I think you’re the only other person I’ve met with something as bad as Rika.”

“I’ve thought about my condition and Rika’s, yes. It’s arguable which of us has the more undesirable fate. Rika has a significant chance of passing away even earlier than I. While my lifespan is more predictable, my symptoms will also worsen considerably as it winds down.”

Fucking hell. I’m already regretting that I asked her about this. The clinical way that she describes her own suffering is really making me squirm inside.

“They’ll… worsen… even more than this? So you won’t be able to…” I start.

“Eventually I’ll be confined to a wheelchair. After that, bedridden. Near the end, I will likely not be able to feed or clean myself.”

I stop in the middle of the hallway, genuinely lost for words. I thought that couldn’t happen again after I got used to dealing with Rika.

“Is everything alright?” she asks, noticing the concern on my face.

“I mean, yeah, it’s just… that’s horrible, Saki, and you don’t… you’re not bothered by it at all?”

“Of course I was bothered. But the more I learned, the more I came to appreciate my situation. One hundred years ago, I may have simply been left to die once my symptoms manifested. Fifty years ago, someone like me would be ostracized from society entirely, unable to receive proper care and locked away in a place little better than a prison. Today, I am able to attend Yamaku Academy, living life to the best of my ability.”

I want to ask her if we’re not still locked away in a place little better than a prison, but I know better. I know that isn’t true. Hell, Yamaku’s nicer than my old school, all things considered. Not many high schools have private pools and gymnasiums. I still have trouble accepting what Saki is saying on an emotional level. It still won’t quite sit well in my stomach. I know she’s right, though.

“I am in good company. As are you,” Saki says. “I only hope you realize that.”

“I think I’m starting to. Rika certainly makes for some company, I’ll say that,” I agree. “How did you become friends with her?”

“The same way you did,” Saki says.

“Oh, yeah that’s…”

My voice trails off as I realize what she said. It’s so quick and nonchalant that I nearly miss its implications. Does she know how me and Rika got started, like know know? What does she mean, “the same way that I did?” Did Rika go down on her in a crappy horror movie, too? Do I dare to ask?

This dilemma is put on hold as Emi appears from a doorway just ahead of us.

“Hey Hisao! Come on in! Who’s this?”

Oh. I didn’t even realize it, but thinking about it again, the room number Emi gave me is indeed right there. Rika’s is down at the end of the hall, far past it.

“Hi Emi! I thought we were early, I was just gonna—”

“You know what they say—early bird gets the worm!” Emi says, cutting me off and pulling me inside.

“What’s the worm in this situation?” Saki asks, following us in.

“So, Emi, this is Saki Enomoto. She’s… a friend,” I say, doing my best to keep up with my surroundings.

“Huh. Do you know Katayama, too?” Emi asks her.

“I do,” Saki acknowledges. “Amputation below the knee, both legs. Car accident, correct? That means you had time with your natural body before having it taken away. I can only imagine—”

“Err, what Saki is saying is, you promised us a worm for being the early birds! Where’s our worm at?!” I say hurriedly, talking over Saki before Emi can get any more confused.

She’s still dumbstruck for a moment before responding to my saving throw, apparently choosing to ignore Saki’s attempted line of conversation in favor of the one I threw out.

“Oh yeah! Right over here!”

Emi turns and motions to the small group of other students in the room. It’s only five or six other people but it’s fairly crowded nonetheless. They’re spread out across the floor and bed in a rough circle, all holding large plastic cups filled with a dark liquid. I recognize Miki and Haru from my class, the former of whom gives me a bright wave with her one hand, but I don’t know the others. Emi directs my attention to the source of their beverages: A collection of bottles on the dresser. Glass ones for drinking, not plastic ones for pills.

“Is that…” I start.

“Something illicit like alcohol? Nope! No way, Hisao! Just a special little, ahem, ‘soda’ that we came across!” Emi says with a sly wink. “You guys aren’t, umm? Gonna tell Shizune or anything, right?”

I shrug.

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Saki shakes her head no as well before holding out her hand expectantly.

“May I have some?” she asks politely.

“What, don’t you want me to tell you which bottle is which?” Emi asks incredulously. “We’ve got whiskey, beer and wine!”

Ugh. Whiskey.

“I have no preference,” Saki says.

Emi’s eyes go a bit wide and she gives her a little nod of respect.

“Okay. Miki, surprise her,” Emi says.

“Whiskey it is,” Miki says, hopping off the bed and making a cocktail with the whiskey and a bottle of actual soda.

“And you, Hisao?”

“Well, not whiskey,” I say.

I have no idea what to try. I feel like I’m supposed to say beer because it’s manlier or something.

“What are you having?” I ask.

“Try it for yourself—if you can handle it!” Emi challenges me, holding her cup up to my face.

I sniff suspiciously at the clear liquid within but smell nothing. Slowly, carefully, I take a measured sip… still nothing…

“…it’s water,” I conclude, thoroughly confused.

“Haha, yep! You don’t think I could keep this fit figure if I was guzzling that nasty stuff, do you?”

“Hey, my figure’s more than fit!” Miki protests as she hands Saki her drink.

“Yeah but your speed isn’t. You’ll never up your times if you keep up these unhealthy habits!” Emi says.

Miki rolls her eyes.

“Next thing you know she’ll be telling me not to smoke, either,” Miki moans.

“You smoke?” I ask her, a little surprised.

“Not very often. Everything’s worth trying once, though. So? What’ll it be?” Miki asks me, waving towards the makeshift little bar again.

“Err…”

“It may not be wise to consume alcohol given your condition, Hisao,” Saki says.

“You’re drinking it!” I point out.

“There’s no interaction between alcohol and spinocerebellar ataxia,” Saki retorts.

“Oh shit, is it like bad for your—I mean, I don’t even know—” Miki sputters.

“No, no, it’s fine!” I insist, not wanting to be shut out of the activities. “I drank once before already. There’s no problem, I just don’t know what to try this time,” I admit.

“You know you don’t have to,” Emi reminds me. “Water’s better for you!”

“Eh, water’s boring,” Miki says. “I’m a whiskey gal, myself!” she adds, tipping her cup back for a long swig.

Once more I shudder internally at the word “whiskey.” I do want to drink but I do not want to end up like that again.

“Can I maybe mix the wine and the beer?” I ask.

Emi and Miki’s eyes go wide for a moment before they both burst out laughing. Apparently even the sober Emi knows this to be a ridiculous suggestion.

“What?”

“Man, you really don’t get out much, huh?” Miki says, draping an arm around my shoulder and marching me to the dresser where the various bottles await my attention. “C’mere, let Big Sexy show you the ropes.”

“…Big Sexy?”

The hell?

---

This is going a lot better than the last time I tried this. Probably helps to have semi-normal human beings around instead of hanging out solo with Kenji. Miki made me try everything on offer, with some encouragement from the other track kids sans Emi. When she’s not feeding me drinks and calling me “newbie,” Miki seems focused on trying to tempt Emi over to the dark side and join in, to no avail. Despite this Emi has no problem socializing, joining us in playing several rounds of the king game.

Things are really starting to haze over when Miki grabs one of the bottles—now empty—and lays it down on the floor sideways.

“So, newbie, where’s this hot girlfriend I’ve heard about?” Miki asks.

“Huh?”

Oh yeah. I totally forgot about Rika. How long have I been in here? Where is she?

“You know, white hair, red eyes, stick-thin? Ring a bell?”

A round of whistles and hoots goes up from the room, followed by a round of remarks from the track kids.

“Katayama?”

“I heard she’s a real piece of work.”

“What’s her thing again? Something with the liver I think?”

I motion for them to shut up.

“Uhh, she’s supposed to be here. Saki, you know where she is?” I ask.

“No,” Saki replies plainly.

“So she bailed? That’s pretty lame,” Miki says.

“Hold on, what time is it? We’re early, she’s probably just getting ready or whatever,” I disagree.

“Hisao. It’s seven thirty,” Emi says. “You guys were supposed to be here at six. I thought she’d be coming with you.”

“Man, I thought so too…”

Seven thirty. Fuck… it only feels like I’ve been here five minutes… alcohol is a hell of a drug…

“Well, if she’s gonna skip out, she won’t mind if you play a little…” Miki starts, leaning down and giving the bottle on the floor a spin. “…spin the bottle?”

I scoff at her suggestion.

“You might be surprised what she will or won’t mind. Just, lemme go check on her, her room’s down the—”

“Nope, right here, no check needed,” Rika says from the doorway.

“—oh! And there she is!” I finish without missing a beat. “The lady of the hour!”

Some little cheers go up from around the room. I get up and take Rika’s arm, moving to pull her into the room so she can join us, but she’s stiff in my grasp. She’s not responding to me, instead taking a careful look around the room, then leaning forward and sniffing at me. Finally she sees the cup in my hand, filled with whiskey and soda. Rika’s eyes narrow and her nostrils flare.

“Hisao. Are you drunk?”

Chapter 8

I look around as if the thought had never occurred to me.

“Heh, yeah, I guess I am!” I answer happily.

I expect more laughs or cheers from the peanut gallery but the mood has taken an abrupt shift. I can’t blame the other students for thinking I’m in some kind of big trouble here—they just haven’t really met Rika yet.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rika asks angrily.

“Aside from missing my better half?” I ask, expecting the familiar back and forth.

She snatches the cup from my hand and throws it to the floor carelessly, giving a low growl that I’ve never heard from her before. It’s at this point that I begin to realize she’s not regular Rika pissy, she’s legitimately mad this time, but it’s too late.

“Seriously?! How stupid are you?” Rika continues.

“Hey hey hey!” Miki yells, jumping in between us. “I don’t know what the deal is here but don’t just go spilling shit all over my floor!”

“Piss off, bitch,” Rika snarls, trying to shove Miki away. She barely budges, then grabs Rika by the shoulder and shoves back. Even using just one arm, she sends the frail girl reeling back through the doorframe.

“No, you piss off!” Miki yells at her. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but you’re not welcome in here, that’s for damn sure!”

Rika’s face reads bloody murder but she must know she can’t do anything here. Part of me wants to say something, do something, to protect Rika or defend her somehow… but another part of me is siding with Miki, and that part of me is winning out pretty easily at the moment. Rika’s just embarrassed me in front of everyone! And since when does she care so much if I drink? Fucking every few hours is fine but a few beers is somehow a big problem?

“Good. Honest to god, I wasn’t looking forward to hanging out with Yamaku’s little party girl anyways,” Rika says coldly. Then she looks right at me. “You can kill yourself if you want, but I’m not gonna stick around and watch you do it.”

With that she walks away.

“…little party girl? Who are you calling little?” Miki mutters to herself, before leaning out the doorway and calling after Rika. “Least I’m not the school bicycle! Whor—”

“Miki! Stop!” Emi shouts, taking a hold of the bigger girl and dragging her back in, which succeeds mostly because Miki was pulling herself back in anyways.

“Fucking hell…” I mutter.

Miki is still clearly angry, her breaths heavy and her hand flexing slightly. She pours herself a shot of whiskey and downs it. Meanwhile, Emi is looking everywhere but at me, her face turned down in an awkward frown. The other kids are muttering behind me… it seems to be more aimed at Rika than me, but I still wish they’d stop.

“I did tell you it may not be wise to drink,” Saki pipes up.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t tell me Rika would want to kill me over it!” I snap.

I pull myself back as soon as I say it, looking down and rubbing my temples stressfully.

“I’m sorry, Saki, I just…”

“I didn’t expect this either,” Saki says, neither offended by my outburst nor seeing any need to acknowledge my apology. I look at her and I can see that she’s wearing a taut frown as well, a rare change of expression for her. “Do you think we should go after her?” she asks me.

Emi and Miki look at me like I’m supposed to know the answer to that. I mean, she is my girlfriend, or at least… she was. I don’t feel like I know her any better than anyone else right now.

“No. I don’t think so,” I say with a sigh, just following my gut. “I mean, maybe you should. I don’t think she’d really want to talk to me.”

“Hmm…” Saki murmurs to herself.

“So what was the deal with that?” Miki asks me. “I mean, I’d heard things, but…”

My mind snaps back to the last thing Miki yelled at Rika. “School bicycle.” Best not to focus on that right now.

“…what exactly did you hear?” I ask.

“Rika has… a bit of a reputation…” Emi says cautiously.

“Well, that much doesn’t surprise me,” I say.

“She’s… not known for being the most stable person,” Emi continues as she sees that her comments aren’t offending me.

I scoff.

“Yeah. I would’ve never guessed.”

“She slept with like half the class her first year here. Then last semester she totally clammed up, wouldn’t talk to anyone, no more dates, no nothing. Fucking hissed at guys that tried coming onto her again,” Miki explains. “I heard she was dating you, and I thought, Nakai’s alright, maybe she’s turned over a new leaf…”

“Rika is… she’s a handful,” I say. “She’s not very… tactful? I guess you could say?”

“No kidding. The insults I could deal with, but this…”

Miki motions to the alcoholic beverage staining her floor.

“…I mean, seriously. Just… not cool. I’m gonna go get a rag or something to wipe at it. Let’s try not to let it totally ruin the night?”

“Yeah. Probably shouldn’t,” I say as Miki heads for the bathroom.

“Do you know why she was so angry?” Emi asks.

“About drinking? Not really… I mean, yeah, it’s probably not the best for my heart, but every once in a while should be fine. I got wasted earlier this year and it was no problem. I mean, aside from what you’d expect.”

Emi’s frown deepens.

“What’s wrong with your heart?”

“Oh.”

I didn’t even realize I’d said it. It seems so minor now, to even try and hide it from people.

“I have arrythmia,” I say plainly. “I came here because I had a heart attack back in February.”

“Hisao! I’m so sorry!” Emi says, grabbing my arm tightly.

I shrug. It honestly doesn’t feel like that big of a deal right now.

“Could be worse. Hell, Rika’s basically got the same thing amped up to eleven. She said she can’t drink or smoke at all.”

“Well, if alcohol’s bad for her, then it’s probably not good for you!” Emi admonishes me.

“No, I think it should be okay if I don’t do it often. My heart feels fine right now,” I reassure her.

“It’s not just your heart that’s the issue,” Saki interjects.

Oh? Since when has my heart not been the issue, I wonder?

“It’s your medications. You take eighteen a day I believe? That puts a strain on your liver. Adding significant amounts of alcohol consumption on top of that is likely to cause damage to it,” Saki explains.

“Ah. I uhh. Never thought of that…” I admit sheepishly.

“You may very well be correct that ‘once in a while’ will cause no harm. Individuals exhibit differential levels of sensitivity to alcohol and its effects on the liver. Still, you’re at an elevated risk,” Saki continues.

“Yeah, yeah, the booze was a bad idea, I get it,” I say.

“I’m sorry that you lost Rika over it,” Saki says.

“Lost her? You think… that was a breakup?” I ask.

Saki shrugs, as if mirroring my gesture from a moment ago.

“I haven’t seen her upset in that way before.”

“Shit. You might be right… look, I’ll deal with it tomorrow, okay? Can we just… not spend the rest of the night talking about Rika? You know, like Miki said?”

“I agree. I’m going to drink more beer. Would you like me to pour you another cup?” Saki asks.

“What? Didn’t you just say it’s bad for me?” I ask in confusion.

“It may be. Unlike Rika, I won’t judge you for it,” Saki says.

“Yeah, well I will!” Emi cuts in. “No more booze for you, buddy. No way no how!”

“You know what? Go ahead,” I tell Saki. “Damage is probably already done for tonight.”

“Hisao!” Emi protests, slapping me lightly. “You better give it up after tonight!”

I give her a bit of a scowl. I don’t really feel like being told what to do right now.

“Maybe I will,” I say dismissively.

Emi still doesn’t look very happy but the look on my face makes it clear that she won’t get anything out of me by pushing.

Saki simply nods before hobbling her way back over to the dresser. While we’ve been talking, the rest of the room has gone back to the general carefree attitude that prevailed up until Rika’s interruption. Since they don’t really know me to begin with, they had less stake in the event, I imagine. Miki has already given up on trying to wipe up the stain and gone back to socializing, apparently now setting up the game of spin-the-bottle that she wanted to play just before Rika arrived.

“You gonna prude out again?” Miki says, looking up at me and Emi.

“Huh? Uhh…” I start.

“Not you, loverboy. Emi never plays!”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just not into swapping spit with people over a drinking game,” Emi says.

“Hey, you don’t have to use tongue if you don’t want! C’mon, we need a third girl!” Miki complains.

“I volunteer,” Saki says, already lowering herself down into a spot in the bottle-circle.

“You sure?” Miki asks her carefully.

“I enjoy kissing,” Saki assures her.

“Ha! Well okay then!”

Emi rolls her eyes.

“Here we go again…” she says.

“This happen often?” I ask.

“Why do you think Miki has these little shindigs? She can get booze on her own. Obviously. Now she’s fishing for company.”

“Company like, overnight company?”

“Ayep.”

“It’s just a drinking game,” I say, finding this hard to believe.

“If that’s all you want it to be,” Emi says.

The first spins pair a couple of the track kids, and they lean right over to each other without much hesitation. I’m surprised at how sudden and willing it is.

“Nakai, c’mon! Come get your rebound, man!” Miki calls to me, patting the girl’s back as the couple breaks apart.

“Are you offering?” I call to her playfully.

“If the magic bottle makes it so!” Miki calls back.

“Miki, really, it can’t even work with seven people,” Emi says.

“Sure it can!” Miki claims.

“Or you could join in and make it eight,” I say to Emi with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes again.

“Fine… maybe this once…” she relents, clearly not wanting to be left out now that I’ve surrendered to the temptation as well.

“Careful now, next thing you know you’ll be drinking this devil’s brew too,” I say to Emi with a wink, taking a sip from my fresh beer as Saki hands it to me.

Emi blows a raspberry at me.

“Don’t push your luck. If you get on my nerves, I might convince Nurse to put you on a diet! A no-alcohol diet!”

“…you can do that?” I ask warily.

Emi gives me the puppy-dog eyes.

“Would you ever deny a poor little girl giving you this look?” she asks. “Oh Nurse, you don’t understand, I told Hisao not to drink but he just won’t listen… I’m so worried about him…” she pleads, hanging onto my arm as if I were the Nurse.

“Okay, okay, I get the idea!” I say, shaking her off as she laughs.

While we’ve been joking around the bottle has been spinning—and it lands squarely on Emi. The group lets out a series of whistles at this development.

“Hey! You must’ve rigged that somehow!” Emi pouts.

“Nope. No getting out of it, Emi! You have to kiss—those are the rules!” Miki says, pointing at her for emphasis.

“Kiss who?” I ask, realizing that we must’ve missed the bottle’s first spin for this round.

“Yeah, wh—mmpfff!”

Emi squeals in surprise as Saki leans into her, half-falling as she struggles to maintain balance. Emi catches her instinctively before she can go all the way down, creating an unintentionally romantic embrace as Saki kisses her fiercely. I expect Emi to pull back in shock or something. While her wide eyes tell me that she was definitely surprised by Saki’s sneak attack, she actually goes along with it a fair bit before finally pushing Saki’s face away from hers.

“I wasn’t done,” Saki complains.

“Umm! There’s a three-second rule!” Emi stutters, blushing hard as a few more jeers sound from around us.

“No there isn’t…” Miki mutters.

“Shutup yesthereis!” Emi motors over her. “Just spin it again!”

“Ha! See, you’re already getting the hang of this!” Miki says. “Aaand here we go! Keep your fingers crossed, Emi, maybe it’ll get you again and you can try for five seconds!”

“Oh shut up! The same people can’t go twice anyways!… That one’s a rule, right?”

“That one actually is… good thing it’s me anyways! Who’s ready for Big Sexy!” Miki exclaims, immediately spinning the bottle once more after it comes to rest pointing at her.

I snicker at her, holding myself back from laughing more loudly. The other guys have their eyes glued on the bottle, each one clearly hoping for their turn at “Big Sexy.” I don’t get how they can take Miki seriously after hearing that.

So of course the stupid thing lands on me.

“Well well well! Looks like I’m giving you lessons in more than one thing tonight, newbie!” Miki says, getting to her feet.

“Why are we standing up?” I ask, tentatively following her lead.

“C’mere!”

“Oof!”

Miki steps right across the circle and lays one on me, playing the Saki to my Emi. Just like Emi, her sheer boldness surprises me a little, but I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it. “Big Sexy” or not, Miki’s pretty hot, a fact that I’m very much aware of as her chest smushes up into me. For some reason, the only thing I can think as her tongue meets mine is that there’s no way she’s got a bra on those things. Fuck they’re huge…

After what feels like an eternity she lets me go, giving me an unexpectedly sultry look and biting her lip before finally sitting back down. I gulp and try to get a hold of myself as I do the same. That put a real fog over my mind in a way that the alcohol hasn’t managed to…

“Showoff!” Emi proclaims.

“If you got it, flaunt it,” Miki says dismissively before spinning the bottle again.

The game goes on for a few more rounds, never landing on me again. I’m not sure whether I’m grateful for that or not. I have a hard time paying much attention after my kiss with Miki. Well, paying attention to much besides her, that is. I feel a jolt of jealousy when she lands on a pairing with another girl, but their kiss is little more than a peck, nothing compared to the full treatment I received. Miki occasionally meets my gaze with a look that I probably wouldn’t have recognized before I met Rika.

No. I don’t want to think about Rika right now.

Next thing I know, Miki’s picking up the bottle and clearing away some of the drinks from the dresser. A couple of the track kids wave goodbye and exit right away, while the others stretch and discuss whether or not to go to bed yet. Glancing at the booze, I can see that our supply has pretty much run dry. The feeling in the air makes it clear that the party’s over. I lounge around awkwardly as the other guests make their way out, responding in kind as they wave at me and such.

“Well. Guess we should turn in, too,” I say to Saki, pulling myself to my feet.

“Hey, don’t bail on me just yet,” Miki says. “I need someone to hang out and help me clean all this shit up.”

“I fear I may need… assistance…” Saki says, struggling with her cane. “I’m feeling rather… inebriated…”

“Uhh…” I start, unsure what to do.

“Don’t worry, I can help you. Here,” Emi says, rushing to Saki’s side and offering her arm for Saki to hold onto.

“Thank you,” Saki says as they make their way out into the hall.

I give Emi a look to make sure she’s okay with that. She just smiles and winks at me before nodding at something behind me. I turn around to see Miki suddenly very close, her face just inches away from mine. The door closes behind us, leaving us alone in the room. Miki gives me a teasing grin.

“So, newbie. You ready for another lesson from Big—”

I put a finger to her lips and shush her.

“Yeah, how about, just,” I say, trying to figure out the best way to tell her that her self-appointed nickname is giving me cringe palpitations without stopping what’s about to happen.

“Oh, you prefer no talking, huh? Sure, strong and silent, I can work with that,” she says, raising an eyebrow.

Then she hugs me tight, swings me around, and dumps down to the bed on my back. I blink at the sudden blur of motion, not used to a girl manhandling me so easy. Before I’ve even got my bearings back she’s on top of me, the thin fabric of her track shorts doing very little to separate her skin from mine. I feel like the world moves in slow motion as she reaches down and pulls her shirt up… no, she’s just actually doing it slowly, to tease me.

Finally, mercifully, after letting them hang almost loose for an eternal second, her breasts pop free of the fabric. No, she was not wearing a bra, and yes, they are massive. I reach up and squeeze one in awe, still half expecting them to be fake somehow. The soft moan this brings out of her causes me to twitch in anticipation. As she descends on me, I still have trouble thinking about anything else but that fucking chest… I don’t get how it’s physically possible for a track star to have a body like that.

Of course, at a certain point, Miki does get me to focus on… other parts of her.

Yeah I won't really try to mount much defense for Hisao--I'm not sure what his personality is "supposed" to be outside of being a loser who lucks his way into getting laid. I've never made it a secret that I consider the typical portrayal of Hisao to be boring so I absolutely went into this story intending to have him serve its purposes. The one thing I will say is that he is a huge dumbass regarding sex in all five routes of the game, every single one of them, so if anything I would say that is one of his most consistent "canon" traits. A sensible Hisao would stop seeing Rika after that first "date" and that would be the end of it, you're right about that.

If you can't figure out who a character is supposed to be and don't even like them, then they shouldn't be one of your main characters.

Sit down and figure out who Hisao is, THEN write him.

Right now you're asking me to read about an idiot who's actions don't make sense and a girl that's purposely supposed to be unlikable. Why should I care about either of them?

Oddball wrote: ↑Fri Jul 12, 2019 10:57 pm

Yeah I won't really try to mount much defense for Hisao--I'm not sure what his personality is "supposed" to be outside of being a loser who lucks his way into getting laid. I've never made it a secret that I consider the typical portrayal of Hisao to be boring so I absolutely went into this story intending to have him serve its purposes. The one thing I will say is that he is a huge dumbass regarding sex in all five routes of the game, every single one of them, so if anything I would say that is one of his most consistent "canon" traits. A sensible Hisao would stop seeing Rika after that first "date" and that would be the end of it, you're right about that.

If you can't figure out who a character is supposed to be and don't even like them, then they shouldn't be one of your main characters.

Sit down and figure out who Hisao is, THEN write him.

Right now you're asking me to read about an idiot who's actions don't make sense and a girl that's purposely supposed to be unlikable. Why should I care about either of them?

Oh I know who he is in this story. That's what I'm saying, you're complaining that he's not "in character," but I have no idea what he is "supposed" to be in this sense aside from a boring audience stand-in, so I deliberately choose to write him in a way that I prefer instead. He's an idiot who makes some bad choices, yes. That was exactly what I set out to write. If you prefer a Hisao who is mature and behaves rationally, this simply isn't the story for you. And I maintain that the events of the game don't particularly support such an image of him to begin with.

As for why you should care, I don't expect you to. I'll be blunt, I knew based on previous interactions/comments that you wouldn't like this story before I typed the first word of it. And that's completely fine; you're just not the intended audience. That's why I tried to lay out some expectations in the first post, so people would know what they were getting into. To me your criticisms come across as someone complaining that the horror movie they paid for didn't have enough comedy in it.

That's what I'm saying, you're complaining that he's not "in character," but I have no idea what he is "supposed" to be in this sense aside from a boring audience stand-in

Like I said, you don't know who he's supposed to be.

Basically you're making up a new character and calling him Hisao. To an extent this is okay, we al have our own takes on the characters and sometimes make slight alterations for the stories to work. It's just that you're essentially starting with a blank slate, saying it's something else, and coming up with something that doesn't work.

I'm not going to argue with you anymore though. It's your story. I just think you could actually do better if you put forth some effort and thought things through a bit more.