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Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 5:56 pm
by Emiruko
I find it a bit odd that some of the art for Lilly has her looking towards you. Shouldn't her eyes point straight ahead?

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 5:59 pm
by Rednal
I think she can roughly pinpoint where you are by the sound of your voice...

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 2:43 am
by renrutal
lurk moar wrote:
Just played wrote: However I did have a fairly negative couple of experiences with the heavy all-or-nothing choices that are sometimes not conveyed properly?

In particular "I spend the whole afternoon in the Nurse's office." could be mistaken for sarcasm, but instead the Hisao flips out on them instead, also the "Do I push myself harder or take it easy." is just so ... bad?

You either try to push yourself to the brink of death or only run as much as you did the previous day and give up entirely. What's with that?

The Cold War scene was also very much like that of either sticking with Shizune and throwing Lily under a speeding train or forever tick off Shizune.

I know these are branch points but apparently Hisao has two operating modes of either total asshole/all-out or apathetic/whatever, I think you might want to reconsider how you've handled some of the branch points.
This. I chose the "I had a fun time at the nurse's office" choice and then it was suddenly BAD END.
Thirded. While I loved the game, this all or nothing behavior is very annoying, specially regarding to the ones leading to the bad end.

Example:
Choice at the end of the 'Mind Your Step' scene. When I clicked "I'm fine" I meant "please don't worry about me", not "Go mind your f*ing business" and then go drunk and die.

This kind of branching is way too extreme. I'm starting to think Hisao is there to treat a bi-polar disorder, not cardiac arrhythmia.

Other than that, besides Kenji being Kenji(I skipped all his scenes), Shizune and Misha's antics are really repetitive, it's tiresome to watch they beating the same topics over and over.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 3:32 am
by lurk moar
The Lily bad end was kind of sudden and unintentional also. Maybe ambiguous choices are part of the genre, but the only reason they seem to be there is to evoke the BAD END. It might as well have said "get unreasonably angry at Lily/Misha for caring" but then what would the point of having that choice be? Maybe the BAD END should be reserved for players who don't really stay on any one track instead of players who stay on one track but then press a wrong button at the end.

Most of the other choices seemed pretty unambiguous, however.
Rednal wrote:I think she can roughly pinpoint where you are by the sound of your voice...
I would agree with that. It's probably part of something called tact. Even if you can't see them, you might as well face where you think somebody is.
vermithrx wrote:I was wondering, is there a point to using the quote button if you are reasonably sure your post will be directly beneath the one you're responding to?
Too much time spent on 4chan or other fast-paces boards, probably. Sometimes when you're taking a while to respond to a popular topic you might have posted and then realized somebody ninja'd while you were writing. (If I've been taking a while to write a response and it matters what order the response is in I usually open the thread in a new tab and refresh it right before posting.)

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 7:35 am
by cpl_crud
The flow in Act 1 impacts on the rest of the game.

For example, consider the options in the "I'm Fine" choice.

On one hand, you tell Lilly about your illness.
On the other, you don't.

This leads to two realities; one where Lilly knows about your illness, and another where she doesn't. This means that there needs to be two paths out from this choice.

Since there is only one Lilly path, one of these needs to be "pruned". And yes, we cheated by making you dead.

This is one of those "little lessons" that we've learnt about VN development over the past 2 years. Yes, it's a harsh way to punish you for a bad choice, but we are learning.

Plus, everyone wants to go on a picnic with Kenji, it's just that some people don't know it yet.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:01 am
by Envy
cpl_crud wrote:And yes, we cheated by making you dead.
Ending an unwanted path with death shouldn't really be seen as cheating or taking a short cut.

Sure, the Act 1 BAD END could have taken a more YMK approach where you pursue none of the girls and the MC reflects that there were certain missed opportunities and chances and whatever else he said. However, later on into each path believably fading into obscurity without some huge explanatory tangent becomes near impossible as Hisao and girl become closer.

Death is the most agreeable end, even if it turns out you died because you didn't cum on her feet/stumps/burns etc. etc.

DON'T FEEL BAD, CRUD <3

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:19 am
by Guest
There is a lot of unneeded explanitory dialogue and even entire scenes that seem irrelevent. Slows the game down a lot.
For instance, there's a scene were the teacher asks Hisao if everything is fine, and it just serves no purpose at all.

Also; the dialouge is awfully American for a game that's supposed to be set in Japan. Seems very awkward.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:20 am
by Aura
I heavily dislike YMK's way of doing the "dead end", which is probably why KS has an abrupt and violent bad end for Act 1.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:49 am
by Skofo
Hello, I wrote a review at a reddit posting about this game and one helpful commenter led me here, so I'm going to post it here as well since it is probably most useful to you guys. I didn't bother reading any other post on this forum, so I apologize if any of my criticisms were excused somewhere else on here. Without further ado:
I thought it was very well done for an online group of visual novel fanatics. When I first read that this was made by 4chan and was about crippled people, I expected something awesomely sick, and it was what initially drawn me to it. I was surprised that this was actually a pretty mild, yet touching story.

The art was surprisingly professional. The art in this is on par with professional natively drawn manga, and that is saying a lot. Almost every visual novel based on the engine that this one was based on is just yuck when it comes to the art.

The second thing that most impressed me was how richly it was written. Much better than the half-assed translations of most Japanese media.

The third thing I liked was that it has Linux and OS X builds. Cross-platform ftw! This is a rare thing to see in any game or program, much less visual novels, so I was pretty damn impressed by it.

The music was also pretty nice, albeit not very unique or memorable. The depressing loop in the hospital scene was uncharacteristically bad and monotonous, though, but the composers might have been going for that. I exceptionally enjoyed Rin's theme song for some reason.

I found myself staying up from night 'till morning because of how enticing this game is. When you see the awesome art and read the awesome writing, you just want more of it.

I have one big criticism, though. This game has pretty much no plot. Or if it does, then it moves slower than tree sap. There was no rising action that was visible to me. I was kind of disappointed by the end(s) because I didn't really feel like the story really got anywhere. I understand that this is only "Act 1" of the novel, but is it too much to ask for it at least feeling like things are actually going somewhere? Lack of plot can be excused if a story is exceptionally cute or funny or action-packed or etc. to make up for it, but story is none of them, aside from the Kenji and Rin scenes which I couldn't help but smile all the way through (and occasionally facepalm at the main character's lack of humor). Most of the game is just having random small talk with the characters. It's like being social, except without actually being social because the interactive parts are really rare. But I guess this may appeal to a certain demographic who plays these games...

Another thing I didn't like was how negative, humourless and inconsiderate the main character (and narrator) was. He is just plain annoying. But perhaps the authors were going for that, given the character's recent circumstances.

I also found it funny that the story all took place in a Japanese-style school environment when I presume that the authors are not from Japan. The story was also written in English, and does not even have a Japanese translation. I just think that it's more beneficial to put at least a spin of personal culture in your work, and not try to perfectly emulate what you think is someone else's culture, because naturally it'll end up more flat than what a person who actually lived in the culture can potentially make. I assume that almost none of the authors who made this actually went to a Japanese school, so I don't think that it's a good idea to write about one as opposed to a typical school environment in their vicinity. Original spins on things interest me a lot more than perfect emulation because it lets me delve deeper into the authors'/artists' personal creativity, and they had a lot of room to do that here, so I was a bit disappointed that they didn't utilize that room all that much. But that's just me.

All in all, I thought that this was a charming visual novel. I don't know if I'd recommend it due to the aforementioned disappointing lack of plot. I don't think I'll ever read it again, and I probably won't read Act 2 unless there is a lot more plot involved or Kenji is the starring character. But this game personally made me feel very fuzzy and warm inside, which games rarely do. Despite the tepidness of the plot, most of the characters, the art, the writing and the music are very interesting and enjoyable. If you had the patience to read this entire review, then I don't think you'd have a problem reading this novel. =)
Good luck with Act 2!

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:57 am
by Skofo
Also, I've only seen a couple endings and didn't even realize that there even was a "bad" one. The notion of an abrupt and violent end where you die in this game is kind of scary, though, especially if it's the first ending you bump into. If I ever ran into it, I think it'd shake up my generally happy and innocent impression of the game, and for the worse. It'd be like dying in Animal Crossing.

No doubt my curiosity will take over my better senses and force me to find that ending, so I might get back to you guys on this.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 9:05 am
by Aura
Man, reading that reddit thread makes me depressed.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 9:15 am
by Rednal
So, this person thinks there's no plot?

...

I don't think I agree; I'd say a guy adjusting to his radically changed life and new status as disabled and coming to terms with it is a fair amount of plot. There wasn't much CLOSURE to Act 1, but since it's a demo, there didn't need to be...

And I think the fact that it's a school for cripples (to put it crudely) is a fair bit of original spin. I can honestly say I've never seen this before. Granted, I don't have access to every Japanese visual novel ever, but still...

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 9:53 am
by Envy
Aura wrote:I heavily dislike YMK's way of doing the "dead end"
Why's that?
Skofo wrote:There was no rising action that was visible to me. I was kind of disappointed by the end(s) because I didn't really feel like the story really got anywhere. I understand that this is only "Act 1" of the novel, but is it too much to ask for it at least feeling like things are actually going somewhere?
Rising action? Act 1 involves Hisao's first week at a school for the disabled, what action or prospect of action could possibly be introduced without it being forced? Also, I refute the idea that Act 1 never went anywhere in what I've already pointed out is a very short amount of time. Hisao adjusts to his new life, forges and begins to develop new friendships, that's the progression.
Most of the game is just having random small talk with the characters.
It's almost like you're reading a slice of life VN.
Another thing I didn't like was how negative, humourless and inconsiderate the main character (and narrator) was. He is just plain annoying. But perhaps the authors were going for that, given the character's recent circumstances.
Hisao actually seems to take the whole being suddenly disabled and shipped off to boarding school thing pretty well.
I assume that almost none of the authors who made this actually went to a Japanese school, so I don't think that it's a good idea to write about one as opposed to a typical school environment in their vicinity.
The devs are hardly ignorant of Japanese culture and having a perfect understanding of a Japanese school environment is hardly necessary in order to write KS considering that Yamaku isn't exactly your everyday Japanese school.

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 9:57 am
by pmcc
well i dont know much and havent played alot of stuff but i liked it lol :)

Re: Katawa Shoujo Act 1 Preview feedback thread

Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 10:04 am
by SABAN
Skofo wrote:I have one big criticism, though. This game has pretty much no plot. Or if it does, then it moves slower than tree sap. There was no rising action that was visible to me. I was kind of disappointed by the end(s) because I didn't really feel like the story really got anywhere. I understand that this is only "Act 1" of the novel, but is it too much to ask for it at least feeling like things are actually going somewhere? Lack of plot can be excused if a story is exceptionally cute or funny or action-packed or etc. to make up for it, but story is none of them, aside from the Kenji and Rin scenes which I couldn't help but smile all the way through (and occasionally facepalm at the main character's lack of humor). Most of the game is just having random small talk with the characters. It's like being social, except without actually being social because the interactive parts are really rare. But I guess this may appeal to a certain demographic who plays these games...
I don't think there is a plot other than "get used to the new conditions" and/or "get one of the girls".
Unless we'll get a sudden twist and the whole world's fate rests on Hisao's poor heart, imagine Shizune wearing Saber's armor and saying "I ask of you, are you my master?"
OHWAITSHE'SMUTE

But no, really, I don't understand what you meant by "it had no plot", the main character is in a whole new world, it's only obvious that the beginning would mostly be introduction to the people around him.
The end(s) gave sparks of romantic interests between Hisao and the girls, that should be satisfactory from an "Act 1".
Another thing I didn't like was how negative, humourless and inconsiderate the main character (and narrator) was. He is just plain annoying. But perhaps the authors were going for that, given the character's recent circumstances.
He'll lighten up, hopefully.
I also found it funny that the story all took place in a Japanese-style school environment when I presume that the authors are not from Japan. The story was also written in English, and does not even have a Japanese translation. I just think that it's more beneficial to put at least a spin of personal culture in your work, and not try to perfectly emulate what you think is someone else's culture, because naturally it'll end up more flat than what a person who actually lived in the culture can potentially make. I assume that almost none of the authors who made this actually went to a Japanese school, so I don't think that it's a good idea to write about one as opposed to a typical school environment in their vicinity. Original spins on things interest me a lot more than perfect emulation because it lets me delve deeper into the authors'/artists' personal creativity, and they had a lot of room to do that here, so I was a bit disappointed that they didn't utilize that room all that much. But that's just me.
Weeaboo
4chan
Eroge
Each of these is a word you should always associate with the others.

The original target audience of this VN was probably guys that usually play eroge(which is usually/always Japanese themed), people from 4chan(weeaboos), and of course English speaking Japanese people who might be interested. So the devs, composed of people that has played eroges, uses their knowledge of Japanese school cultures they got from Anime, Manga, and VNs, as it is what the target audiences can relate to better.
You should read the history of the game's creation to understand why it's Japanese themed and why it's better that it stays that way.

So yeah, it's just you. Non-4chan lurking, non-eroge fapping, not an English speaking Japanese you.

Other than those things, fine review, I like how you share your thoughts on what should have been instead of the usual critics not giving solutions.