Katawa Shoujo Forums

Okay well this is not only my first Katawa Shoujo fan-fiction. But my first fan-fiction since my cringe worthy teenage years from a time long enough ago to be considered embarrassing.

I have just started with only a few chapters, although honestly based on my outline and "filling in the gaps" act 2 is already mostly done. I'll probably continually update this initial post with updates but post replies when it has been updated. Mostly in chunks of a few chapters, I want to completely finish act 2 and be well into act 3 before the next one.

Anyways, the story is mostly going to lean towards a slice of life tone similar to Shizune's route. I have deliberately imposed some restrictions on myself, especially in relation to the ending that have sort of dismissed a more melodramatic tone. But don't worry I already have ideas for another story that will definitely make up for it.

But I am happy for critical comments, especially with regards to any "critical research failures" on my part. I do print out and manually edit stuff so hopefully I haven't butchered the English language too much.

Oh and for those who are curious, while writing this I used Frederic Chopin's Nocturne Op. 9, no. 1 in B flat minor as Misaki's musical theme.

So anyway I hope you enjoy.


Links to Chapters
Act 1: Act 1: Life Expectancy
Chapter 1: Portrait

Act 2: Exposure
Chapter 1: Development
Chapter 2: Histogram
Chapter 3: Shutter Speed
Chapter 4: Ambient Light
Chapter 5: Soft Light
Chapter 6: Form

Act 3: Shutter
Chapter 1: Panning
Chapter 2: Composition
Chapter 3: White Balance
Chapter 4: Aperture
Chapter 5: Diffuser
Chapter 6: Aliasing (In Progress)

Act 4: Moment


Update: 13/03/18:Small editing updates. I corrected the names of Hisao's friends to line up with the names Hisao used during his date with Lilly in the VN. I also fixed a weird time-frame error I missed and an embarrassing misspelling I was unaware of since I played the game (Special thanks to Mirage_GSM on both accounts).

Update: 11/03/18: So it seems right around the time I first posted this, the forums exploded. I claim innocence in the matter. Anyhoo, I have kept working on this and have posted what I've done so far. When I finish this, I do seriously plan on completely rewriting the first chapter, looking on it now.... It's absolute ass. Also, in Act 3 chapters 1 and 2, I now realize that Hisao's friends actually do have Canonical names. So I intend to fix that up, just need to make sure I don't fuff up the narrative in doing so.

Hello and Welcome to the forums!

I'll probably continually update this initial post with updates but post replies when it has been updated.

I recommend not doing that mainly for two reasons:
First the forum has been known to have problems displaying too much text on one page, and second this is going to be a pain for the readers who always have to find the place where they left off reading the last time. It's much better to leave a chapter index in the opening post and/or links to the next chapter at the end of the current one.
That said, I'm really happy to see someone take a gander at a Misaki route, since she has to be one of the least used characters from Hisao's class.

Language is generally good, though there are a few paragraphs in past tense when the rest of the story is present tense - the first three paragraphs of Ambient Light would be an example. Besides that... One or two missing prepositions and a missing letter or two - nothing major.

As for the story itself I am pleasantly surprised. Most "first" Fanfictions aren't as well-written, especially if someone tries a full route as their first story.
I was a bit surprised that you handled Hisao's first visit to the photography club as a short flashback. I probably would have felt compelled to make it more meaningful, but it worked out fine overall.

Act 1: Life Expectancy
Portrait
I've screwed it up.

My internal monologue chastises me as I sit myself on the cool bleachers. The running track is an ideal place to get away from the hustle and hubbub of the school festival. The chatter and noise fade to a gentle hum in the background. The hum is broken by me pulling the tab of the orange soft drink I grabbed from the nearby vending machine. A small sugar drink is a small consolation for me screwing it all up.

It took me months to ruin my relationships back home after my heart attack. Now, with my so-called second chance it's taken me only a week. When I transferred to Yamaku and first introduced myself to my new classmates it took only seconds to first be introduced what could have been my future friends. The quiet yet intense student council president Shizune and her "voice" Misha. They reached out to me immediately. Sure it was easy to dismiss it as a poorly veiled attempt to recruit me into the student council. I decided to play along, and honestly I was happy to help them out.

They gave it one final push in the student council room, telling me that it would be the last time they would try and recruit me. In the end I could not commit myself but promised to help them when I could. I think Shizune doubted my sincerity, but I certainly proved her wrong last night when I helped with the final push to get the festival prepared. Even though I am hopeless at reading people sometimes, even I could read the surprise and gratitude that I "put my money where my mouth was" while signing her thanks for Misha to translate. The two even invited me to accompany them to the school festival.

And that's where I blew it.

I was really enjoying the company while attending the festival. I even caught on to Shizune's "game" of taking us to all the stalls I put together and helped with throughout the week. That was rather sweet of her. It was at the stand that housed game where you throw balls at bottles that changed things. It took a few tries but I managed to win one of the prizes, a rather odd looking cat plush toy whom I entrusted into Shizune's care as I tried to win another for Misha.

After a couple of further attempts it hit me. It was just for a split second my heart's beat jumped out of synch, causing my body to freeze and the dagger like pain to shoot through me. It left quickly, but not quick enough. My compatriots were in front of me, worried, asking if I was OK. I couldn't face those looks, my mind's eye pasted the looks of concern of my friends in a previous life, warping them into those looks of pity. I knew this road, and the eventual abandonment at the end. I couldn't handle it.

I ran.

I am torn from my brooding. My eyes are assaulted by a sudden flash of white light that disappears as quickly as it came. As I begin rapidly blinking in a vain attempt to banish the orbs of light clouding my vision I spot what appears to be the source of the flash.

A girl. A familiar girl. I recognize the straight shoulder length hair, and intense stare. The piercing, analytical stare, capturing every small detail and committing it to her memory, like the lens of the camera she's holding in her hands. She's in my class, second row, first desk by the door. I don't think I've ever said a single word to her.

While all this goes through my mind I find myself now standing right in front of her. Unconsciously having made my way down to the bleachers to face her. Here eyes boring into my face. I need to say something, break this weird, uncomfortable silence.

"Y... you're in my class. Right?"

Smooth.

"Yes."

Her voice is deeper, and slightly huskier than I would expect. Maybe it's because I've spent a week with Misha's shrill, piercing pitch assaulting my eardrums. That girl needs to learn the term inside voice.

"I'm Hisao Nakai. The new transfer student."

"I know. I am in your class."

Despite her cutting in so quickly, I don't detect any rudeness or annoyance. Rather, stating a simple fact. As if stating that the sky was blue. She lowers her camera down to waist level and fluidly, but somewhat awkwardly bows.

"I am Misaki Kawana. I am pleased to make you acquaintance, Hisao Nakai."

As she returns to an upright posture my eyes finally notice her shirt. There seems to be something causing an odd bulge around her torso area. As if something is wrapped around her body. It must be part of the reason she is attending Yamaku.

"Scoliosis"

Her statement causes me to snap out of my thoughts as I internally panic. Embarrassed that I have been caught staring. Remembering the looks I received that sent me running over to my current predicament I cringe.

"I'm sorry.. I..."

She cuts me off. Continuing.

"It's a medical condition where my spine has a sideways curve. In my case it is an "S" pattern. I wear a brace that keeps my growing body from increasing the misalignment. That is what you have probably noticed. This type of brace is known as a 'Boston Brace' and is probably the most commonly used."

Her completely straightforward explanation of her condition takes me completely off guard. Having witnessed the tiptoeing around why people are at this school, Kawana's explanation, completely devoid of malice or offence is rather refreshing.

"Still I'm sorry. I was staring."

Her eyes narrow, and for the first time she actually seems annoyed.

"Don't apologize. Not for that. You noticed something unusual, so you stared. You wanted to understand it better. There is no shame in that."

Her tone is curt, as if explaining to a child why you shouldn't put your hand on the stove. Still feeling a little embarrassed, and slightly emboldened, I take in a deep breath and emotionally brace myself.

"Arrhythmia. It occurs when the electrical impulses that coordinate your heartbeats don't work properly, causing your heart to beat too fast, too slow or irregularly. I had my first heart attack a few month ago. I have to take a torrent of pills every day or I greatly increase the chance of having another one."

This is the first time I have told anybody about my condition myself. I deliver it in much the same way. As if reading from a text book, it is easier than expected, and kind of liberating. Still I gaze at her trying to judge her reaction. Slowly a smile creeps up on her lips.

"Thank you, Nakai. For telling me. I find it rather interesting."

Suddenly I remember why I descended the bleachers to talk to Kawana in the first place.

"So. Why were you taking a picture of me? Are you from the school newspaper?"

She shakes her head holding up her camera.

"No. I'm actually in the Photography Club. And you looked very depressed. I wanted to photograph that moment. See?"

She turn the camera around, the small screen showing the picture. I have to admit. It's a really good photo. She definitely played with the settings, the picture being in black and white and the contrast is extremely sharp. The shadows are extremely well defined. However, I can't help but find myself hating the subject of the photo. He's staring at the top of the can of juice in his hand, obviously miserable, ignorant of the rather beautiful night sky behind him.

Still, I can't help but be impressed at the photo.

"You really do take a good photo, Kawana. Does everyone in the Photography Club take photos like these?"

Kawana begins a rather impassioned rant about how the Photography Club was mainly made up of nature photographers and boring girls only interested in taking better selfies.

I spent the rest of the evening at those bleachers, talking to a girl who I had seen in class all week but had only really met just now. Mostly it was small talk but it turned into some very weird tangents. I found Kawana's complete candidness to be a refreshing change of atmosphere.

The fireworks near the end certainly made the conversation more difficult as we had to raise our voices to speak over the explosions. It was not long after that we parted company.

I certainly left those bleachers feeling better about myself than I came in. I guess I have Kawana to thank for that.

I enjoyed this but I wish we could witness some more of the discussion they share. Hisao goes into this conversation feeling bad. He's just had a heart blip, he's hiding from his friends, he's feeling sorry for himself, and then he's happy. How does that happen?

Also, the switch from Hisao reflecting on the past to reacting to the present feels slow to me somehow. For something that happens quickly, it seems to take up an awful lot of words spread out across many sentences.

Beeronious wrote:I am torn from my brooding. My eyes are assaulted by a sudden flash of white light that disappears as quickly as it came. As I begin rapidly blinking in a vain attempt to banish the orbs of light clouding my vision I spot what appears to be the source of the flash.

I'm torn from my brooding by a blinding flash of white light that disappears as quickly as it came. It came from the bottom of the bleachers, though smears of after-image prevent me from seeing it clearly.

Otherwise, I'm with mirage: there aren't many major errors to be found. I'm noticing some misplaced commas, some missing letters, some sentence fragments...

I hope to see more. With some tightening to avoid the simple grammatical mistakes, this is going to be interesting. Keep going!

Yeah. I think that conversation isn't something you should skip. It feels too important.

Also, I think they both get a bit too technical defining their disabilities.

Act 2: Exposure
Development
I found sleep the previous evening rather difficult. The photo that girl, Kawana, took taking front and centre of my thoughts. My hatred of that person in the photo released a torrent of unpleasant thoughts.

Myself. I hated myself.

That miserable lump of flesh sitting in the bleachers staring miserably into a can of juice. That's me.

It took me hours of brooding in bed, tossing and turning until I changed tact. How do I fix it? How do I make myself better? That's when I remembered. I had a very brief two day foray into running track in the morning. Stupidly I talked myself out of it when I got upset that I couldn't keep up with the school's top track runner.

It was on reflection I realized how ludicrous that sounded. A guy fresh from hospital, with a heart condition struggling to keep up with the fastest little thing on no legs. I resolved in bed then to go to the Nurse after school and ask for a training and diet plan. If I can at least make this condition liveable, well, it's better than brooding into a can of juice.

I can hear Misha's voice before I open the door to class 3-3. Although that is hardly peculiar observation.

"Kawana! You really should show some level of cooperation for the rest of your class! We were all working very hard this past week. Even the new guy chipped in! Where were you? Obviously you were doing something more important than helping your fellow classmates."

Some things never change. The scenario in my head is exactly as what is presented to me as I open the door. Shizune and Misha standing over a seated Kawana. Shizune furiously signing away. Only Kawana's calm yet dismissive voice seems to break the silence.

"I certainly did have something more important Ms. Hakamichi, Ms. Mikado. I needed to wash my hair."

Misha's face is certainly a reflection of everybody's within earshot, myself included. She begins awkwardly signing the response to Shizune. Her gestures more deliberate, and slow. Well aware that hers were the hands that would unleash the dogs of war.

[...]

And she is right. Shizune's face is red, her gestures more aggressive. I can hear the cracking of her fingers as she replies. Misha's translation still maintaining her loud sing-song tone.

"Kawana! Your thoughtless disregard for your fellow students reflects.... HICCHAN!"

Misha looks at me. Her face plastered now with worry. She grabs Shizune by the arm rushing towards me. Shizune carried by the sheer momentum as she crashes into me, pushing all three of us out of the room.

Regaining our footing and dusting ourselves off, it is ironically Shizune who breaks the silence. Her rapid fire gestures filling the awkward space. Misha quickly translating.

[...]

"We're glad you're okay. We were both so worried when you left us last night."

Shizune's face takes on a rather upset look as she continues.

[...]

"You left us in the lurch. And furthermore, Ibarazaki overheard us.. me... worrying about you. Shicchan had to spend an hour trying to console her."

Oh lord Emi got involved? I guess she was worried after I stopped showing up at the track. This just gets better and better. Well, I am trying to better myself. No time like the present.

"Look... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you in the lurch like that. I... I had an issue. And I was embarrassed. I know it's stupid... I'm sorry. I... I have a heart condition."

Why was this so much easier with Kawana yesterday? Maybe because I notice the looks on their faces. Why do they look so miserable? It's not their fault. They weren't the ones panicking and running away. Over juvenile embarrassment.

[...]

Again it's Shizune who breaks the silence. Her fingers delicately and very carefully signing her reply.

"We know, Hicchan. After we calmed Ibarazaki we left the festival. You see... Student Council has records of the conditions of Yamaku's students. Because of the safety requirements and accessibility concerns. We were so worried we... we looked at your file. We know about your... Arrhythmia."

Both of them simultaneously bow, their heads lowered.

"We're sorry Hicchan."

I really didn't know what to say. I couldn't help but feel a sense of violation. They looked at private records. My private records. Why? To satisfy their own curiosity? Amusement? I catch myself. No, they saw me looking rather unwell and suddenly run away. Later on, Emi overhears their worry and probably freaked out. She really does wear her heart on her sleeve. I can the inevitable cycle that would have caused. Shizune, while she often bent the rules, is, as far as I can tell, ferociously principled. They could have looked at my records any time.

I need to give them the benefit of the doubt. They were worried about me. I step forward placing a hand on each of their shoulders. Their heads raise up looking at me.

"Okay. You're sorry. I'm sorry. Let's just pretend this never happened."

As Misha translates this for Shizune. Shizune suddenly gestures her arms in an "X" in front of her. An aggressive rejection of my proposal.

[...]

"No. Hicchan. That is unacceptable. Something like this shouldn't just be buried and forgotten. We all made mistakes, and we must learn from them. However..."

Her firm expression promptly gives way to a smile.

"Our opinion of you has not changed. As I can discern, your opinion of us has not changed either. We still wish to be friends with you, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Her smile turns into that familiar impish grin.

"We are concerned about your health. Ibarazaki mentioned you abandoning your fitness regimen That is unacceptable. Therefore, at lunch, we are going to take you to the Nurse and ensure this is rectified. Whether you like it or not."

It looks like my training schedule got slightly accelerated. Well there was no resisting the force of these two personalities. I sigh, resigning myself to my fate.
"Agreed. Now I have a couple of things I need to take care of. I'll see you at our desks."

I wave to them before re-entering the classroom. I quickly spot who I was looking for before being interrupted. Kawana is talking to one of the girls who sits at the front row. Komaki I believe that's her name. She seems to be gossiping to a rather disinterested Kawana about a cute teddy bear she won at the festival last night. I keep a small distance watching them, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. Kawana however looks to me and smiles, seeing salvation at hand.

Kawana stands up, and bows rather politely, her body brace rendering it somewhat awkward nonetheless.

"Good morning, Nakai."

I'm rather surprised by the formality and instinctively mimic the gesture, returning her bow, trying to correctly match the depth to what I estimate was hers.

"Good morning, Kawana."

Kawana simply nods her ascent. Komaki gets up amd sighs, seeing she is being pushed out of her conversation. She turns towards me with a playful smile as she walks past, she stage whispers in my ear.

"Good luck, new guy."

She giggles to herself before taking her seat at the front. I look back to Kawana and notice her utterly perfect posture, the sort that would make the Empress proud. I wonder if it has to do with her brace. More likely it's her upbringing.

An impish grin almost channelling Shizune worn shamelessly on her face.

"That's twice in the space of ten minutes you've rescued me. Are you trying to be my white knight?"

Second time? I pause for a moment and remember Shizune and Misha chewing her out for her lack of participation in the festival preparations.

"No nothing like that. Besides, I doubt riding around on a charger would be good for somebody with my heart. I just wanted to talk to you. I enjoyed last night and I was wondering. Well.. Could I get a copy of the photo you took of me?"

Kawana pauses for a moment. Clearly taken off guard by my question. Had I been too presumptuous? Was I coming across like a creeper? Oh no, have I offended her? I panic a bit. I desperately begin to try and salvage.

"No, I wasn't... I'm sorry... Never mind.. I..."

Kawana promptly cuts me off.

"I would love to. You're the first person to ask for a copy of one of my photos. I'm grateful. I can take us to the Photography Club room to print a copy at lunch."

I look over to Shizune and Misha. Misha sees me and waves enthusiastically.

"Unfortunately, lunch won't suit me. I am... occupied."

I subtly gesture to the two Student Council members. This causes Kawana to laugh a rather genteel laugh. Politely she covers her mouth.

"I understand. Your two friends have roped you into one of their schemes. You don't have to explain. How does after school sound?"

"That sounds perfect. I'll see you here after class."

I stand up and nod my head, a gesture Kawana returns. I take my seat beside Misha before Mutou comes in for homeroom.

Class proceeds rather uneventfully. That is, until the lunch bell rings. Before second chime I find Shizune and Misha looming over me at my desk. All escape routes cut off.

I am trapped.

Histogram
The halls of the old building that houses the nursing facilities are far more ominous than I remember them. Then again previously I had not walk them with both my arms being held like a condemned man walking to his execution.

"DEAD MAN WALKING THE GREEN MILE!"

It seems Misha had the same idea as me. With Shizune firmly restraining my upper right arm with both hands and grinning ear to ear, she was effectively silenced. I turn to Misha and sigh.

"Is this really necessary? I told you I intended on doing this before I even talked to you two this morning."

Misha's smile turns into a smirk.

"Yes we know Hicchan. However we just have to be sure. Shicchan was very worried about you last night. Besides, this is more fun! DEAD MAN COMING THROUGH!"

"You know Misha. You're escorting somebody with a heart condition through the halls of the nursing building in a school for people with medical issues shouting about them being dead. Don't you think somebody is going to get upset?"

I sigh with obvious relief before Misha can mull out her answer. We arrive at the familiar white door with "Head Nurse" clearly written on its plate. I try to move my arm to knock, briefly forgetting about my escort.

"Misha you two can let go now."

This time it's Shizune who smirks, shaking her head. Clearly deriving what I was saying. She lets go with one arm and knocks on the door with a grace of hers I am particularly familiar with.

The violent pounding echoes down the halls, and I swear some of the glass windows down the hall were vibrating. The pounding ceases only when the door is opened and I am greeted with the familiar figure of the head nurse.

The nurse appears to be mildly annoyed at the rather violent pounding his door had received. However, upon seeing the sight presented to him, of the new transfer student being marched to his door like a prisoner he can't help but grin that Cheshire Cat grin I have become rather familiar with.

"Thankyou Mikado, Hakamichi. I will take it from here."

As Misha lets go, Shizune follows suit. Shizune instantly seizes the opportunity to begin quickly signing, now no longer gagged.

[...]

"We'll see you at class Hicchan. If you make it out alive."

Shizune grins wickedly as the two wave their goodbyes. As I return the gesture I make my way into the Nurse's office. The Nurse closing the door behind him. He quietly invites me to take a seat, sitting across from me at his desk.

"Now, Mr Nakai. I'm fairly certain you know that I know why you're here. I'm going to guess that this has to do with your small incident at the festival yesterday?"

The Nurse leans forward, clearly curious at my side of the story. I can't say I'm surprised. Emi basically straight up told me she was asked to look out for me by The Nurse.

"Well to be honest. Yes and no. I had a split-second heart murmur. It wasn't anything major. It just caused me to stumble. But I think it is a wake up call. I really do need to take this seriously. In fact, that's why I'm here. I was wondering if you had a recommended diet and exercise plan handy? I think if I followed the pace Emi set on the track I would probably give me a heart attack."

This quip causes the Nurse to laugh boisterously.

"Trust me, you are not the first to say that. There is a girl in your year with a similar condition to yours who used the words 'slave driver'. I don't have any plans on hand but I will be happy to type it up this evening. I do have a question though."

He stops, waiting for my consent, which I grant by nodding.

"Is it Mikado or Hakamichi? Emi thinks it's Hakamichi. And seeing all three of you this morning I'm inclined to agree. You seem like the sort attracted to quiet girls."

The time it took my face to meet the palms of my hands could easily have broken a land speed record. The Nurse continues however, speaking more seriously.

"Mr Nakai. I was going to ask you something as a favour for me. Could you continue doing your morning exercises at the track with Emi? Following the regimen I set out of course."

I raise my brow quizzically. This strikes me as a somewhat unusual request. His face has taken on a much more serious, obviously concerned look.

"I know it seems a little unusual. But well, Emi has a habit of pushing herself too far. I would be much more reassured if somebody was there keeping an extra eye on her. In exchange...."

The Nurse's face returns to that same smile.

"I won't chew you out for that heart murmur and for abandoning your previous regimen. Deal?"

He extends his hand out which I promptly grab and shake.

"Deal."

Shutter Speed
It's funny how nostalgic this track is so early in the morning. Especially considering I had only come here at this time of the morning only twice before. Truth be told, despite my whole 'New Hisao' motivation, it was rather hard to drag myself out of bed so early.

That is until I looked at the picture that is now taped to my wall on my bed. Kawana was rather happy to print it for me. And despite how crowded the Photography Club was after school, the other members generally left Kawana to her own devices. While it didn't seem like there was any hostility towards Kawana, it certainly seemed like the other members weren't particularly interested in her, and vice-versa.

Still, we had a rather enjoyable conversation. Kawana really gets excited talking about her photography, and generally anything that she finds interesting. It's hard not to be drawn in when her eyes light up, her speech accelerates from the slow, measured pattern into an excited flurry. She also seemed interested when I mentioned how I was restarting my exercise routine.

My train of thought is suddenly derailed when I feel something hit me in the back of the head.

"ASS!"

Standing before me is a familiar short girl in pigtails, wearing her running blades in place of where her lower legs should be. A mixture of concern and anger plastered on her face. Emi Ibarazaki, the fastest little thing on no legs.

"You abandon our morning run, ignore your health and then I have to hear about you having some sort of attack from that stick in the mud! I was so worried!"

She really was worried about me. That is a nice thought. Honestly, I can't blame her for being upset. A pang of guilt hits me as I can't shake the feeling that part of her blames herself. I can only think of two things to say to her.

"And yet here I am. I'm sorry for making you so worried."

Emi sighs, and briefly grumbles to herself before she smiles that familiar, energetic smile.

"And yet here you are. And don't think I'm going to go easy on you."

I anticipated something like this from Emi. I reach down beneath my towel and pull out an envelope. Grinning as I wave it around in front of her.

"I'm sorry little Emi, but I have my own exercises I need to do. I'm not going to let you kill me on the track."

Emi folds her arms, and sighs in concession.

"Well played Hisao Nakai. Maybe next time. Anyway, time for stretches."

The Nurse's regiment was somewhat harder than I expected. Whether it's due to the fact that I'm more out of shape than expected, or The Nurse deciding to make it a little harder as revenge for previously slacking off I'll never know. I do know that he wouldn't set something up that would be dangerous. Being on separate regiments does make me feel a bit better about Emi lapping me for the second time. After all I need to maintain a brisk jog, and I had the feeling she couldn't resist showing off a little.

From the corner of my eye I notice a familiar figure in the bleachers. Even with a camera blocking her face, the familiar dark hair and focused body language give the game away instantly. As I come around the track and past the bleachers I quickly wave. The brief look of disappointment on her face is replaced with a genial smile as she returns the gesture.

As I begin my cool down walk around the track Emi jogs up towards me, slowing down to walk beside me. She looks briefly over the bleachers, following her gaze I notice that Kawana is still sitting there, holding her camera in her lap. Emi, breaks the silence.

"I'm glad you're back. I was actually worried, I missed my running partner."

Still a little out of breath I take a moment to reply.

"Well I am glad to be back. Again, I really am sorry I worried you. Still, this was a little harder than expected. I'm wondering if this is The Nurse's revenge."

Emi laughs and nods.

"Probably. I doubt he would do anything you couldn't handle. It would be bad for his job to have a student have something happen them because of his health plan."

I can't help but laugh as I approach the bleachers and grab my towel, envelope and drink bottle. Quickly opening up the bottle I quickly take a mouthful of water in. It may be somewhat tepid, but right now it is ambrosia in my mouth. I see Misaki awkwardly descending the bleachers. Her distinct gait is hard to miss, due to her Scoliosis. I turn and approach her as she descends the last step. She politely bows her awkward yet graceful bow.

"Good morning, Nakai. Did you have a good workout?"

I reply to her bow with one of my own.

"Good morning, Kawana. I certainly did. I do wonder if the Nurse is trying to have his revenge though. It was harder than I expected."

Her hand covers her mouth as she chuckles.

"Well then you are either lazier than expected. Or a medical professional who has sworn the Hippocratic Oath is out to kill you. I wonder which is more probable?"

I grin and nonchalantly take another swig from my water bottle in an attempt to mask my wounded pride.

"I'm sure you've met The Nurse. Even with your assessment I'm certain the odds are still 50/50."

Kawana nods, conceding my point. Looking to the camera in her hands I give in to curiosity and decide to ask.

"What brings you out to the track at dawn with your camera? I can't imagine there is much worth photographing. Unless you were after a photo of the school track star."

That seemed rather unlikely from what I know of Kawana. The shaking of her head confirms this.

"Actually, Nakai. I was photographing you."

I find myself flustered, and somewhat embarrassed. And I'm fairly certain that I'm wearing my emotions rather plainly on my face.

"Me? I'm fairly certain me dragging my ass around the track would hardly make me look anything resembling photogenic."

"No it doesn't."

Kawana's curt reply cuts deep. But her smile as she looks at me softens the blow.

"However, you were struggling on the track. There is a beauty in the image that it presents. That human struggle we all face in our lives was well embodied in you, as you put it 'dragged your ass around the track'. It actually made for some compelling photos."

I really don't know how to process this information. I find it awkward and embarrassing and yet somewhat flattering. However, Kawana saves the day by pulling the conversation back from the derailment my silence was careening it towards.

"Actually Nakai. I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me to the Photography Club at lunch today? I would like to print these photos and I would not mind seeing your opinion on how they turned out."

I raise a quizzical eyebrow at this proposal.

"Can't you show me them on the screen of the camera? Like during the festival?"

A playful smirk crawls up on Kawana's lips.

"And spoil all the fun? Besides, the dawn light makes me think I should probably digitally correct them a little."

"Okay. Well then I'd love to. I'll see you in class then?"

Kawana bows, and again I automatically return the gesture as she walks in the direction of the dorms. Her distinct gait impossible to miss. I can feel a familiar presence behind me before she speaks.

"Well well.. Me and The Nurse had bet that it would be Hakamichi. But Kawana?"

"Knock it off Emi."

Ambient Light
The overall feeling of seclusion at entering empty classroom that housed the Photography Club was rather perplexing. Having only been here yesterday after classes, I personally had witnessed the hustle and bustle that had occurred. However, right now it was just the two of us.

Kawana was already clearly focused on her work at the computer when I come in. Having to procure some bread from the cafeteria. She has an unopened purple lunch box parked beside the keyboard. A pair of black lacquered chopsticks sitting on top.

Unable to resist watching I make my way behind her watching her screen intently. She has Photoshop open and was rapidly moving the mouse about the screen touching up one of the photos of myself on the track. It takes me a moment but I realise something a little unusual. She is using the mouse to select parts of the images, but not opening any of the menus at the top of the screen. My eyes look down to the keyboard, one hand alternating fingers between the 'Ctrl' and 'Alt' keys, the other pressing other individual keys. In rapid succession. I can't help but whistle in amazement.

"I never took you to be so good with computers. I'm absolutely hopeless."

"I'm only like this in Photoshop. Anything else and I am a train wreck. I have often had to phone or text Ms. Komaki for help. That usually results in me enduring an hour of gossip and small talk so I try to avoid it whenever I can."

She finishes saving the file and logging off the desktop. Picking up her lunch box she takes it over where I have placed my bread. Sitting at the table across from me she present her meal in front of herself and opens it up.

Kawana places her hands together in front of her.

"Thanks for the food."

She bows her head slightly and picks up her chopsticks. I smile at her sometimes stringent adherence to traditional ritual and repeat the same gesture. We begin eating in a rather comfortable silence. One I can't help but break with a question that's been stewing in my head.

"Kawana. Why do you only take candid photos of people?"

She places her chopsticks on top of her lunch box as she pauses contemplating a reply.

"Because the results are more genuine. If I took a picture of you eating, if you knew I was holding a camera you would be compelled to look towards it, probably striking a pose. You have a naturally expressive face Nakai. If you dropped your food I would love to have a picture of your expression as you desperately tried fishing it up."

"Why Kawana, are you thinking of orchestrating such a situation?"

"Nakai you wound me."

We both stifle a laugh and return to eating in the same comfortable silence. Eating lunch like this reminds me of Lilly's tearoom, where I stumbled into on my second day at Yamaku. The same serene distance from the noise outside.

The bell chimes signalling the end of lunch. As I pack my things away and began the walk back to class with Kawana I remember something. Didn't we come here so she could show me the photos we took this morning? I pondered on this question as I entered our classroom.

Soft Light
"Thanks again Hisao. This tutoring has already paid off. I can actually feel myself getting smarter. I'm sure Miki feels the same way.”

Haruhiko's gratitude is genuine as he opens his textbook to the page. Waiting for everybody in our small circle of desks to do the same. The girl beside him is still staring out the window, her chin resting on the stumped end of her left hand.

"Yeah well... it takes a robot to understand a robot.."

It's been nearly a month since I started at Yamaku. And only a couple of weeks since this strange practice began during study periods. Initially it started with Misha asking for some help in her science homework. Apparently Shizune thought I would be better equipped to teach Misha in this subject than her.

I initially thought this was one of Shizune's little games considering she kept watching us intently, Misha instinctively signing everything both she and I said. However, it seems whatever I did worked. Misha's results during the pop quiz a week ago were apparently enough of an improvement that Mutou asked Misha what was going on. Ever the stoic, she instantly told him of my assistance. Mutou called on me after class and asked if I would be willing to help some other students struggling with Science during these study periods. I saw no reason to say no.

So now I am leading my own little Science study group during these periods. The group consisting of Misha, of course, Haruhiko Suzumiya, Miki Miura, who Haruhiko confided had to be dragged kicking and screaming and Suzu Suzuki, who has right now lost her battle with Narcolepsy and is currently using the open textbook as a makeshift pillow and is sound asleep.

"Sorry Miura, robotics are out of my field of expertise."

This elicits a chuckle from the tomboyish track star. I look over to Shizune who has moved her desk over by the window where I normally sit. She has a rather modest smile on her face as she continues watching us. I give a small wave which she returns.

At first I was a little weirded out at her intense interest in this study group. Enough so that I asked Misha about it. She told me it wasn't a worry and that Shizune was just impressed at how quickly I caught on to teaching this stuff. I just have a feeling I'm not getting the whole picture here. A part of me wonders whether this is some game to her or not.

As I am explaining some of the equations required for our homework to Haruhiko I notice Kawana standing beside us.

"Excuse me Mr Suzumiya. Would I be able to borrow Nakai for a moment?"

Haruhiko looks at me rather confused for a moment but he nods. I am unsure why the talkative Haruhiko would be struck dumb by the request. My friendship with Kawana is hardly a secret, and even though she barely interacts with anybody apart from me, Komaki and Shizune and Misha (when chewing her out) it's hardly an odd request. Nonetheless I accompany Kawana into the hall. We don't engage in our usual morning greeting, having already talked to each other that morning before class.

"Nakai, I have a favour I would like to ask of you."

Pulling me out of class to ask a favour. This must be serious, especially for somebody as straightforward as Kawana. I simply nod, urging her to go on.

"I am going into the city on Sunday, I want to take some photos and. Well... I need somebody to help me with carrying some things, some lights, and some refreshments and such. I was wondering if..."

"I would love to help."

I cut her off. It's unusual seeing her struggle like this so it seemed the right thing to do was put her out of her misery. It's not really a big deal. Just a friend helping another friend help out with a hobby she's passionate about. I'm not sure if her condition makes carrying a lot of things difficult. And I think better than to ask. However, Kawana's sudden bow makes it seem like a bigger deal.

"Thank you very much. I will be happy to treat you to lunch while we're out. As a way to thank you for your help."

I shake my head refuting.

"It's no big deal. Anyway, I should get back. I don't trust leaving the peanut gallery to their own devices."

With that we silently re-enter the classroom. I can already see Miki standing on the desk, loudly re-enacting what appears to be an impassioned speech from some TV show that was on the other night. Without a word I take my seat at the desk and quietly watch as Miki also sits back down.

"So, Hisao. What did Kawana want?"

Haruhiko is surprisingly the first to enquire. I fully expected Misha to be the one to ask.

"Oh nothing, she just wanted me to... You know. Never mind. It's no big deal."

I hesitate and decide against telling them. Looking at my company I realize as harmless as me helping Kawana with her photography is. With Misha and Haruhiko in the circle, it would have as subtle an effect as pouring gasoline on a fire.

I continue on with the tutoring, somehow managing to steer the group away from empty gossip. I notice that Shizune seems to have lost interest and now has her head buried in a textbook

Form
I would expect the large iron gates of the school to be a lonely sight this early on a Sunday morning. I am rather surprised to see several individual students and a couple of pairs waiting to meet with their peers and apparent significant others if the anxious looks of a few of the individuals are of any indication.

My hair is still wet from the shower I took after my morning exercise. Sundays were not an exception to my health after all. Emi was a cheerful and chatty as ever. When the inevitable topic of what my plans were today, I braced myself. When I told her how I was going to the city with Kawana to help with her photography I was not disappointed. I subconsciously rub my right ribs and wonder if all of Emi's elbow nudging is going to leave a bruise.

"Good morning Nakai."

I turn around to see a bowing Kawana. As usual I replicate the gesture and say my greeting before taking a moment to look at her. I have never seen her wearing anything other than her usual school uniform after all.

I always found it interesting how often people use clothing as an expression of identity. Kawana is certainly surprising, and not surprising in her choice. She wears a rather simple black dress that runs down to her mid thigh. The cut at the top barely reveals her collarbone. It is rather loose fitting, obviously as a means to hide her brace. What is unusual is the sleeves, the ends of which hanging like a wizard's robe.

However, what is even more unusual is the fact that, apart from the camera around her neck she is carrying only a single large shopping bag which she passes to me, a beaming smile on her face.

"I thank you for your assistance."

It doesn't take long for the bus to arrive. The trip to the city is rather pleasant. We mostly filled the time looking at the groups of students on the bus and trying to conjure up stories as to what they were up to and where they were going. The more absurd the better. I think my story involving an underclassman and his girlfriend that tapered off to a borderline re-enactment of Macbeth wins the day. Kawana struggling to hold back what would have been a very disruptive bout of laughter.

I muse on how easy it is for the two of us to fall into such comfortable silences as we walk through the crowded city streets. I almost lament when Kawana decides to break it.

"Nakai, what are you reading at the moment?"

"Actually nothing too exciting. I'm trying to get through the Collection of Hagiwara Sakutaro for literature. I'm finding it to be an absolute slog. I wonder if you cheat to get the marks you do in that class. I guess poetry isn't my thing. How about you? Did you finish Book of Blood 3 yet?"

"I did, the homicidal cancerous tumour was a little bit weird. But I enjoyed it overall. I've begun Karada. Thank you for that recommendation by the way. Although I thought you were required to avoid horror? Doctors orders?"

"Yes I am. The fact that I had to close that book after a few pages made me think of you right away."

"Nakai, I am unsure whether to be flattered or insulted."

"It's not a question of taste. With a bad heart I have to avoid undue stress where possible. The doctors basically ruled out horror movies for me completely. The jump scares are almost certain to send me to an early grave."

"I know what you mean. I hate being startled. I like being made uncomfortable, revulsion, confronted. Being startled is cheap. I could recommend a laundry list of good horror movies that wouldn't startle you."

"I have to decline. You know I'm not too big on horror anyway. Although I'm sure you press the issue because you know it makes me uncomfortable."

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Sometimes. But I've seen your photography. That style of yours is your raison d'être. Although I do understand why so few people would be interested in it. Not that you really mind right?"

Kawana proudly nods at this declaration. Pausing for a moment she seems to be carefully choosing her words to accompany her reply.

"Nakai. I've been meaning to ask. Why did you want a copy of that photo. You're certainly not an egotist. And while I think it's a good photo. It certainly does not paint you in a very flatting light."

I knew this question would come some day. It is an obvious one to ask. And the answer is simple. The idea of answering it, to somebody else just makes me uncomfortable. Kawana was always about facing that fear. I take a deep breath to steel myself.

"It's a reminder and a motivator. When I came to Yamaku I wasn't in a very good place. I'm sure you can attest to that. Shizune and Misha certainly could. I vividly remember my thoughts when you showed me the picture. I hated the subject of it, I hated that look in his face. The miserable, pathetic expression."

"So my picture motivated you to improve yourself because you hated it so much? That's..."

I desperately try to interrupt her. I can see her face reddening.

"No Kawana I don't ha..."

My desperate pleas are ignored as she seems to continue undaunted.

"Wonderful..."

What?

"My photograph has had an actual effect on somebody. Not just emotionally. But motivated them to better themselves. Isn't that wonderful?"

Flushed cheeks and beaming eyes face me accompanied by the cutest of smiles. I find the language portion of my brain reduced to gibberish.

"Uh..yeah.."

As happy as I am for Kawana I'm sure my face is more closely resembling a tomato. I need to steer the subject.

"So, Kawana. Where's our first stop?"

The heat of the midday sun does little to disturb the peace of the cemetery. Unfortunately I couldn't say the same for my body. As Kawana paces along the well trodden dirt path, I seek the shade of one of the trees.

"A little hot Nakai? There's a thermos of water in the bag. Help yourself!"

I look in the large shopping bag and eagerly grab the thermos. Filling one of the two plastic mugs I take a long swig, enjoying the feeling of the cool liquid going down my body. Putting the thermos and cups back in the bag I take another look at its contents.

When Kawana proposed the idea of me accompanying her to help out with her photography, I had expected to be trudging around lights and photography equipment. Instead I am simply carrying a bag with what appeared to be the contents of a picnic lunch. Having cooled down a bit I quickly catch up to Kawana to ask her about it.

However, Kawana is standing in front of a grave, staring intently at it. She doesn't seem to notice my approach. I look at her, observing her eyes, picturing the gears in her mind turning as she analysed what she was observing.

"Nakai. What do you see?"

I stand beside her, looking at the grave. It's older than the two on each side of it. The inscription is faded, the stone is dirty and weather worn. The concrete slab is cracked. I consider the likelihood that it is simply older. That is until I look at the grave to its right. The difference in the time of death only being a couple of months. I reply somewhat more solemnly than I expected.

"Abandonment."

"Yes. It's easy to forget isn't it? When we are apart from people how easy it is to fade from memory."

I grimace to myself. I really can relate. I can see myself in that hospital bed, my proverbial inscription getting more weather worn and faded in the eyes of my friends. I wonder if I walked down the street of my home town now. Would they even recognize me?

A camera flash snaps me out of my brooding. Only now Kawana is smirking at me.

"Having a bit of déjà vu?"

We hop off the bus back at Yamaku at dusk. The walk back to the dorms is in a mutual silence. Both of us tired from the rather brisk pace mixed with the heat of the day. It was thanks to my exercise that I was even able to keep up. The picnic lunch in the shade of one of the trees at the cemetery seems somewhat morbid in retrospect. However, such a picnic lunch was so Kawana.

We say our goodnights, punctuated by a polite bow. As I enter the boy's dorm building I suddenly ponder. Was this technically a date? We're a boy and a girl, going out somewhere, together. But neither of us have expressed romantic interest in one another. A date including photographing graves at a cemetery. Not your typical date. But so Kawana.

Act 3: Shutter
Panning
The temptation to rest my head on the desk this morning is overwhelming. The heat made my morning run all the more challenging. I enjoy the brief solace of the relatively quiet classroom and close my eyes.

"GOOD MORNING HICCHAN!"

That solace appears to now be null and void. I hesitate opening my eyes, willing the morning greeting to have just been an illusion. I relax briefly for a moment, only for that moment to again be disrupted as I feel a sudden sting in my right ear. This shock causes me to open my eyes and sit bolt upright. I look to the apparent source of the sting.

I am greeted by Shizune and Misha, both grinning like cats who have just eaten the proverbial canary. Their hands oh so innocently behind my their backs. I lazily narrow my eyes.

"Good morning Shizune, Misha. I take it both of you are well and energetic this morning?"

My tone is bereft of amusement. Something I know Shizune certainly was unable to pick up on.

[...]

"Of course Hicchan! We ought to be focused and driven at whatever we do. Even on days like this. Unlike another certain dear friend of ours who does not even bother to check his mail."

Mail? The frown and folded arms directed towards me makes it obvious I am the "certain dear friend". I lean resignedly forward in my desk resting my head on my arms continuing to face them.

"Mail? What are you talking about? I'm not expecting anything."

Shizune produces what appears to be a purple envelope. Presenting it proudly like a magician revealing a rabbit pulled from a hat. She dramatically passes it to Misha to free her hands for communication.

[...]

"Well these two lovely lady-friends have come to personally deliver it to you. But before we will release this letter into your care you have to answer one simple question."

Another one of Shizune's games huh? Okay I'll bite.

"Sure.. okay. Fire when ready."

[...]

"Who's Iwanako?"

IWANAKO?

I can feel my muscles tense and my breathing stop for a moment. I have to catch myself, I see Shizune's eyes probing me. Misha is also staring looking more concerned. I guess my body's involuntary reaction to that name is more obvious than I expected.

Okay Hisao. Calm yourself. Deep breath. Maintain your composure. They know this obviously bothers you. Be honest. I don't think there's a need to tell that story. Not yet at least.

"Iwanako is... was... she was there. When I had my first heart attack. The one that lead to me coming to Yamaku."

The looks on the two girls faces were quite the contrast. Misha looked somewhat disappointed, obviously she expected a torrid tale of romance and tragedy worthy of a bad light novel. Shizune on the other had looked somewhat meek and guilty. Shizune gently gestures and Misha drops the envelope, letting it float down on my forehead.

"Sorry Hicchan. We didn't mean to pry."

Well you did mean to pry. You just feel guilty about what you dug up.

"It's okay. You were just curious. I guess since you know little about me and suddenly there's a girl writing to me. It's obvious you're jealous."

I sit up folding my arms smirking at them in an attempt to try and dig them out of their remorse. Shizune's signing conveys well the dryness she is trying to infer.

[...]

"I feel sorry for the girl who falls in love with you."

Lunch can not come fast enough. I have been sitting through class on the edge of my seat. The letter from Iwanako dominant in my mind. I can hear it whispering to me. Chanelling what I thought were my forgotten anxieties since my first week at Yamaku. As soon as the bell chimes I make my way quickly out of the classroom. I think I see Kawana trying to say something as I go past, but this letter in my bag is consuming my thoughts.

I find myself at the bleachers again. Sitting again at the top row, away from the other groups. I'm not sure what it is that's so comforting about this place. I finally take out the letter, the distinct feminine handwriting is familiar, reminding me of the only other letter she has ever written to me. I slowly open up the sealed flap. I thank all the gods I can that curiosity did not overwhelm Shizune and Misha. I gingerly unfold the pages.

"Dear Hisao,

How are you? I hope you are well and happy at your new school. Everyone here misses you. Almost all of our second-year class got put together in class 3-1 for the final year, so we are pretty comfortable right from the beginning of the year. I'm sure you would've been assigned to this class as well.

The mood among third-years seems to be very anxious about the final exams, even though they are so far away. The teachers are badgering us about it all the time - even old Mr. Tachibana who is, by the way, out homeroom teacher this year. Would you believe it? I was sure that he'd retire after our second year, but here he is, nagging everyone about studying for exams.

I think things like that are the main reason why the mood among the third-years is so nervous. I must admit that I'm somehow losing confidence in myself as well, even though I've always fared reasonably well in exams.

It's so weird to think that we are already seniors, isn't it? Time has really flown past. I wonder where it went. The new first-years seem so young and somehow really innocent. I keep wondering if I was like them in my first year. I've been feeling nostalgic like this for the whole first trimester."

The people of this class are both familiar and alien to me. A distant memory like that of another life. Mr Tachibana, I know the name, But the face conjured in my head is ethereal, and incomplete. Even my friends, Takumi who was the one who egged me on to go to the tree that day, Mai with her clownish antics, and quiet Shin. Even though they were my friends, they too seem like entries in a book.

I continue on with the letter.

"There are other things I want to say. I'm writing to you because I felt that there are things I should've said after the incident back in winter. I really regret that I wasn't able to say them in person, and I have no excuse for it.

The truth is, the times when I visited you at the hospital made me worried about you. I am not talking about your health. You seemed to become more and more distant and disheartened. It was natural after something like that happened, I'm sure, but somehow I got the feeling that you had given up on something back then. Happiness, maybe?

I wanted to somehow express my feelings, but the right words didn't come to me. I couldn't say anything to comfort you. I am really sorry for not being able to support you when it mattered the most, even though I like you so much. At least now, finally, I can be more honest.

If I could go back to those quiet days in February and March, I'd tell you not to give up on yourself. That's what I would say. Maybe you wouldn't have drifted so far away if I had just said something. I hope you've managed to get back on your feet on your own.

Now that the distance between us is also physical, it also feels more final, somehow. I wonder if we will meet again. Perhaps it's for the best if we don't? Still, if you would like to correspond with me, by all means write me back. I'd very much like to hear about your new school and how you are doing. I wish you all the best.

Sincerely, Iwanako"

Her letter is, ironically, heartbreaking. Not in the sense that I lost her or the finality of that last paragraph. It's the sense of blame I feel emanating from the words written on the pages. Part of her blames herself for what happened.

She is right in part, I did give up on happiness. I can't blame her for not being able to support me though. She obviously had her on demons to battle. The finality of the letter is clear though. She invites me to reply but clearly does not expect it. Does she even think I'll read this.

I feel a soft hand on my left shoulder and, startled, I snap my head around. Kawana is sitting beside me, concern written on her face.

"Nakai?"

She is inviting me to confide in her. I'm not sure where to begin. But it would be nice to have somebody to relay my thoughts. And I find her so easy to talk to. So natural.

"I'm sorry I ditched you earlier. Just this letter came to me. And with it some baggage from my past. should probably tell you about it. If you don't mind that is. I am not sure where to begin.."

Kawana, keeping her hand on my shoulder nods.

"It's fine, Nakai. Just begin where you want to. I won't tell anybody."

I take a deep breath. Trying to collect my thoughts.

"I told you about my Arrhythmia that night at the festival. And you know I only had my first heart attack. What nobody else here knows is that immediately leading up to that attack, a girl confessed to me. Iwanako."

I raise the letter that I was reading only moments to go. Getting across that Iwanako was the sender of said letter.

"Before I could respond, or even process what she said, I was laying in the snow, thinking I was dying. All I could hear was her screaming."

Misaki simply nods, trying her hardest to maintain a poker face. Urging me to continue.

"This letter definitely opened up some old wounds. Wounds I thought had healed. I feel the need to write to her back. She blames herself for what happened. I don't think it's fair to not at least try and absolve her of any guilt she thinks that she deserves."

Kawana simply smiles. Briefly contemplating what I just said.

"That's probably a good idea. Nakai, do you still have feelings for Iwanako"

"No. I don't. Like I said, I didn't get the chance to even think on that at the time. By the time I had a chance to, any chance at a relationship was long dead and buried. If I'm perfectly honest, I haven't completely moved on from the incident. It was just too life altering. But Iwanako is a memory, somebody from a previous life."

Kawana stops, a question is clearly on the tip of her tongue.

"Nakai, what did they do? When they took you to the emergency room?"

"I don't exactly remember much about it. But from what the doctors told me they had to perform exploratory surgery. Since I was so young for a heart attack they needed to see what was going on."

Kawana suddenly looks fascinated.

"You mean the cut open your chest and look at your heart?"

"Yeah. They did something called 'maze surgery' where they made small cuts in the atria to try and reduce the spread of electrical signals that cause the arrhythmia. They also implanted a loop recorder just under the skin in my chest that records when I have unusual heart palpitations."

Kawana nods. Finally removing her hand from my shoulder.

"I see. Thank you for confiding this with me."

I shake my head and casually wave off her gratitude.

"No Kawana. Thank you for listening. I think I'm going to have a long night tonight though."

Composition
Iwanako,

I'm relieved to hear I'm not the only one nervous about entering the final year of my school life. I merely thought it was the transition into a new school that had me briefly on edge. Although that isn't to say the transition has been minor, or even easy.

Yamaku is certainly a different school from my previous High School. The atmosphere is certainly different. However, I have already made some wonderful new friends. I run every day with a girl in another class called Emi. She has had both her legs amputated below the knees and runs on special running prosthetics. However, I have never seen anybody run so fast in my entire life. She would leave Takumi in the dust!

The two people I sit next to are an exercise in contrasts. Shizune, is the president of the student council. Despite the fact that she is a deaf mute, her presence has to be felt to be believed. She is intelligent, forceful and tries her hardest to drag the best out of people. She is extremely competitive, yet also very childish and also has a very caring side. She is a very... complicated person. Her interpreter is a loud (emphasis on the loud), boisterous girl named Shiina. We all call her Misha. I think she definitely brings out Shizune's playful side. The two are tied at the hip.

Probably my closest friend is a girl in my class called Misaki. I find it odd writing that name as myself, and everybody in class refers to her by her surname. Her language is often immaculately polite, but she has an intense curiosity about well... everything. She loves horror and general interest in anything that makes most people uncomfortable.

Despite this, she is the only person I have ever confided the full story of what happened that winter day. She helped pull me out of the depression you were so correct in stating I was in. And encouraged me to write this to you.

And that brings me to the reason I am writing to you. I want to apologize. I was selfish. When I had the heart attack it was obvious I fell into depression. I had, as you keenly observed, given up on life. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and my own situation to even think about what you were going through.

I didn't see you blaming yourself for what happened. I didn't see myself driving you away. You reached out to me, even through your own misery, and I ignored your hand. I abandoned you.

The doctors told me my heart was faulty since birth.

You didn't deserve any of that. None of this was your fault.

I think you are right. It is probably better if we don't see each other again. There is certainly too much baggage between the both of us. However, I wanted to write to you to let you know that I am doing well. I am happy. And I only wish the absolute best for you too.

Regards,
Hisao

White Balance
I used to hate the rain.

The rain signalled inconvenience. The normal activities I enjoyed would be cancelled, I had to carry an umbrella or risk catching a cold, everything would get wet, a thoughtless driver may hit a puddle too hard and saturate you as you walk down the sidewalk. Overall rain was simply a bother.

When Iwanako stopped visiting, the last of my old life did so too, I would lay alone in my hospital bed listening to the rain. It served as a cruel reminder of something I tried so hard to forget. The patter on the window would send a spiteful message. Over, and over it would continue its refrain. Life was moving on without me. I was helpless to leave this room. I was alone.

I ponder when that perspective might have changed as I stare out the window of the near empty Photography Club room. The comforting sound of water on the roof, the near empty courtyard presenting a lonely yet somewhat whimsical view of Yamaku, or the face of my companion as she stares out the window, clearly lost in thought.

I follow Kawana's gaze, trying to see what has captivated her attention. The lonely courtyard seems to emphasize the disconnect of the club room from the rest of the world during our lunch rendezvous. When this little ritual of ours began, occasionally club members would come in and quietly engage in their business. Over time, and through no intervention on our part those visitations ceased. It seemed to become an unwritten rule among the Photography Club that the room was effectively booked at lunch by Kawana and myself.

I can't seem to see anything in particular that Kawana is focusing on. Clearly her mind is distracted, fixating on something with that trademark intensity.

"Why is it that Shakespeare's tragedies are more well remembered than his comedies?"

Kawana's soft voice suddenly breaks the melody of raindrops. It's not unusual for her to break one of our silences with a question out of left field.

"I'm not too sure. I guess humour changes over time. Have you ever watched an old comedy on TV? Apparently those are supposed to be funny. Humour is pretty contextual. Like a shared jokes between friends."

"Yet tragedy is universal."

Kawana nods as she finishes my thought. I instinctively feels my fingers trace along my chest.

"Yes, It is."

My eyes glance out the window, to the lonely garden. My mind goes to my running partner. Lately I have begun to wonder about her. Why does she always seem like she is running from something? I think of my classmate Hanako, of her blighted face she frantically hides from the world.

"Everybody at this school likely has their own little tragedies. As much as we think our story is unique there is that shared feeling of being utterly helpless as the world inflicts its cruel wounds on us."

Misaki seems to pause as she takes in what I say.

"I don't think its that different outside these walls. Mr Mutou likes to say Yamaku is preparing us for the real world. Is it really that different out there?"

"I doubt the average convenience store has 24 hour medical staff."

Kawana seems unable to resist getting a joke in as she fires back.

"Have you seen how much the Aura Mart charges for a can of coffee? It's not like they can't afford it."

I desperately hold back a chuckle.

"With the amount of money you spend on their strawberry milk you could afford your own hospital ward."

Kawana huffs in mock indignation. She regally flicks her hair back.

"A true lady appreciates the complex flavour of strawberries and milk."

"You mean a true lady appreciates the complex flavour of sugar and cellulose gel."

Kawana looks me dead in the eyes.

"Don't ruin the moment Nakai..."

Her face quickly gives way to a small smile.

"As punishment for the insult of this fair lady, you shall treat her to one of Aura Mart's strawberry milks at the earliest convenience."

"I agree to the fair lady's demands. I shall be happy to indulge her need for cellulose gel."

Kawana takes the opportunity to change the subject.

"It seems Mr Nakai can add miracle worker to his resume. If Ms Mirua's outburst in class this morning is accurate."

I can't help but feel a little embarrassed. The results of the test for science class were handed back today. I performed up to expectation, that is, exceptionally well. While Kawana did not share her score with me, she told me rather confidently that she did decently. What really surprised me was the most unwilling of my tutoring charges.

"I can't say 65 is exactly a miracle score. It certainly isn't enough for a University."

Kawana shakes her head.

"Don't sell yourself short Nakai. Ms. Miura would cheer if she got a 30 in science. For her to have improved so much is a testament to your tutoring abilities. You deserve to be proud of not only her, but yourself too."

I can't help but flush at her praise. Even though Miki's improvement was the most shocking, all of my charges had noticed at least a decent improvement in their test scores this time around.

"I suppose you're right Kawana. At the very least Misha has promised to buy me lunch at the Shanghai. I suppose a free meal is a nice outcome at the very least."

Kawana chuckles and nods in agreement.

"The allure of free food is always like ambrosia for a man. In all seriousness though. Have you considered teaching might be something you could do in the future?"

The future. I turn my attention out the window. That's something I haven't really thought about. Not since that day in the snow that thew a monkey wrench into my life. I had resigned myself to the idea that I had no future. When I stepped into Yamaku I honestly wondered if the next time I would leave those imposing iron gates was in a body bag.

I have to admit though, that the idea of looking to the future has begun to seem more appealing. The idea of graduating, going to University to study. Maybe become a science teacher. Get married, have children. Are such things out of reach for me?

"Nakai..."

I turn my head away from the window to face Kawana. Her eyes aren't looking at me but staring down at the desk we're sitting at. Her gaze seeming to bore into the black lacquered chopsticks sitting atop her now empty lunchbox.

"I was wondering..."

She's hesitating. I quietly try to gain eye contact, albeit unsuccessfully but patiently allow her to gather her thoughts.

"If you called me Misaki. I would appreciate that very much."

Is that all? Why the hesitation? I have been referring to people by their given names since first meeting them. I sigh in resignation.

"That's fine, Misaki. But only on one condition. You call me Hisao. Deal?"

Misaki slowly smiles and nods.

"I agree to you terms... Hisao."

She seems to pause as if tasting the words on her tongue. Slowly though we return to silence, listening to the rain on gently play its serene song on the roof.

Aperture

"Wahaha~! Shicchan is still on edge!"

I smirk at Shizune and nod my head smugly in agreement with Misha's observation. Shizune on the other hand, looks far less amused. She silently huffs derisively in mock outrage and promptly cracks her knuckles.

[...]

"Far be it for me to rain on your parade. If I remember correctly it was I who was the last one standing at the end of the evening. Your rebellions were left in ashes. I hardly call that a victory."

That much was true. I was dragged to yesterday afternoon's Student Council meeting, which quickly devolved into what ended up being a marathon game of Risk. Once again, Shizune did quickly move into the lead. Misha and I decided to combine forces to resist. For once, Shizune was actually on the ropes. However she did prevail, and while it ended up in defeat for us, that last stand deserved to be recorded into the annals of history alongside the battle of Thermopylae, the miracle at Dunkirk and the battle of Shiroyama.

I stand from my desk and fold my arms in as a grandiose manner as I can manage.

"True enough that our rebellion was crushed. But the Hisha alliance managed to bloody the great Empress' nose. History will never forget. It is now recorded that the Empress bleeds. Just like everybody else."

Just as Misha and myself dubbed ourselves the Hisha alliance, Shizune granted herself the title "Empress Shizune I, Scourge of the Congo, Hammer of Europe, Mistress of the Seas". I thought it was a touch over the top myself, but who am I to rob her of her fun? Besides, she was the one who had to sign out that mess of words. I'm not sure if it was defiance or simply common sense, but Misha refused to address her that way through the entire game. Much to Shizune's chagrin.

Our dear Empress was now standing up too, boldly responding to my defiant declaration. Her piercing dark blue eyes flashing at the challenge, her grin showing her teeth like a predator prepared to pounce.

[...]

"And history will show any who defy me will be pounded into marmalade. Your little pincer movement from the America's and Asia was certainly bold, and almost effective. But you know you can never beat me."

She steps forward, slowly until she is right in front of me. Her eyes never breaking contact. That wicked grin never leaving her face. Her face is merely inches from mine.

[...]

"But I also know you would still try, and try and try. No matter how often I beat you into the dirt. Isn't that right? Hicchan."

Misha's sing-song voice is a bizarre contrast to the wicked challenge obvious in Shizune's face. I curtly nod my had in reply. Shizune steps back and silently impersonates an exaggerated laugh like an aristocrat from a bad anime.

[...]

"You're abnormal."

I can't help but laugh at her summation. Misha's thundering laugh joining in my chorus. I quickly snap back with my reply.

"So are you. That's why we're friends."

Shizune, ever the opportunist, seizes at my comment and smugly readjusts her glasses.

[...]

"Well since you are indeed friends of both Misha and myself. And friends help each other out I am sure you will aid us in our time of need. Tanabata is coming up and we could really do with an extra pair of hands in assembling the booths."

"It seems that our dear president has to rely on the efforts of others to mask her own incompetence once again."

The voice is quiet, husky and familiar. However, I have never heard that voice so filled with venom. I glance to Misaki, her eyes seem to be boring into Shizune's, her expression an unmistakeable mask of utter disdain.

Shizune, whose complete lack of a poker face is hardly a secret, is clearly taken aback by Misaki's verbal assault as it's translated by Misha. She quickly steels herself, stepping up to the challenge.

[...]

"It is not due to incompetence that I ask for the help of others, Miss Kawana. I simply seek the assistance of people who actually appreciate the efforts we at the Student Council undertake to allow students such as yourself to enjoy the festivities. I would dread to think the entire student body would share such a parasitic approach to others as some people I know who would be so unwilling as to lift a finger to help others."

My mind is reeling from the mood whiplash. Only a moment ago I was whimsically discussing a game of Risk. Now I am staring blankly, jaw agape as my two closest friends stare each other down.

Misaki's eyes narrow at Shizune as Misha translates her reply. I can see the look of worry on her face as she translates. Her voice has lost that sing-song quality, now it is far more subdued. I am clearly not the only one getting nervous. Misaki pounds her palm on the nearest desk, her teeth clenched.

"You are hardly one to talk Ms President. It's hardly a secret that you lost every other council member due to you being completely unable to accept your own faults and shift them on to others. You're the one who has to leap on every new student at the school and badger them to join Student Council. You're the one who has to drag students kicking and screaming. Just because you don't have the capability to organize a bucket of sand at a beach."

Shizune flinches noticeably at Misaki's remark. While Misaki was already agitated from the moment this started, this is the first I have seen of Shizune showing signs of being visibly upset. This situation is accelerating even faster than I feared. My eyes dart towards Misha, the worry if painted plainly on her face. She clearly shares the same reservations about the situation as I do. I nod to Misha briefly before taking Misaki by the arm and pulling her away from her quarry.

"Hisao? I'm not finished!"

She seems to have only noticed me now as she growls her agitation at me, but offers almost a token resistance as I walk her out of the room. I don't look back to Shizune but I have faith Misha should be able to calm things down. Outside in the hall I look around and spot a classroom I am certain is not being used at the moment, quickly leading her there.

I close the door behind us and look at my friend. Her eyes look back at mine defiantly, her arms folded like a spoiled child. I take a deep breath as I approach the proverbial precipice. I need to keep a cool head, whatever has Misaki on edge being antagonistic is not going to help anybody.

"Misaki. What was going on in there?"

Misaki smugly lean back against the desk, her arms remaining folded. I am feeling more and more like an angry teacher scolding an insolent pupil.

"Oh? I was simply putting the haughty queen in her place. Somebody has to do that eventually. I'm sick of her acting like she owns us. She only got the job by default after all..."

I put my hands on my hips and keep meeting eye contact with her. I am definitely not convinced that her outburst has anything to do with Shizune. I am sure my face is displaying my doubts to that fact. I gesture with my hand for her to continue, but she holds her silence. I slowly sigh to myself. I am going to have to take the initiative.

"Misaki. I haven't known you that long. But I like to think I know you at least somewhat well enough to know when something is up. Whatever is going on, I don't think it has anything to do with Shizune. What is it that is bothering you?"

Misaki looks to her left, staring at the empty chalkboard, breaking eye contact for the first time since we entered this room. Her face twisting back into the same mask of anger she had while arguing with Shizune. I already dread what is going to come out of her mouth.

"Why would you care huh? Do you think you can save me? Like some poor helpless damsel? So I can be your trophy for a job well done? Life isn't like that. Some things can't be fixed. And you of all people should know that."

She shoves her way past me and yanks open the door with unnecessary effort. She briefly turns to me, her eyes looking down somewhat dejected.

"Just leave me alone for now Hisao, okay?"

And with that she walks away. I wait a moment trying to get my thoughts together before leaving the empty room. I re-enter our classroom interrupting the English class that has commenced. Ms Miyagi, our English teacher stares at me for a moment before nodding without protest. As I make my way to my seat I notice Misaki's desk is empty.

As I take my seat beside Misha she stares at me concerned, she looks as if she's about to say something but stops promptly herself. I look over to Shizune who appears to be concentrating on the lesson. Although her eyes briefly glance over in my direction repeatedly.

Whatever has happened I can't help but think I have opened Pandora's box.