Ungraceful Reunion - An Emilogue (Chap 4 - Updated 2/20/19)
Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:00 pm
Fun Fact: Chapter 1 was started on October 28, 2015 and completed on June 27, 2017.
Hello hello all! A brief introduction of myself: I'm scratchminus, the writer of Stopping Short, an Emi fan fiction from 2 years ago. At the time I had said that I had another story in the works and would be releasing it soon. Clearly, that didn't happen. But here I am, 2 years later, finally giving what I said I would. Hopefully you all enjoy my newest story, and I'll try to stay consistent with my uploads this time!
As always, constructive criticism and feedback is welcome and highly encouraged. I think I've gotten better in the past 2 years (lol hopefully), but there's always room for even more improvement.
*NOTE* This story takes place many years after Emi's Good Ending.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Reunion
Chapter 2 - Thoughts Aflutter
Chapter 3 - Exertion
Chapter 4 - Disclosure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1 - Reunion
The gentle, irregular thumping behind my chest rings in my ears, dulled ever so slightly by the noises around me. The small restaurant resting within the quiet town is just as it was years ago. Very nearly empty, it's no surprise that my heartbeat is readily audible despite the occasional footsteps and clatter of dishes.
As my gaze moves to the sky outside, my reason for being here floats back to the front of my mind.
An old friend had contacted me about a week ago to invite me to her birthday get together. She said it was intended to be a reunion of sorts between friends. I was confused at first, as this had been the first time she had gotten in touch with me in...years, probably? We definitely didn’t talk on a regular basis, although she would occasionally surprise me with a call out of the blue to cryptically ask how I’d been.
Despite our lack of communication, I very well couldn’t say no when I was completely free on the proposed date. Unsure of what else to do, I had reluctantly agreed to her chosen meeting time and place and now...
...here I am.
Through the window I can spot dark clouds forming in the distance. I doubt we'll be able to get out of here before a storm of some sorts hits.
Wonderful.
A multitude of thoughts run through my head as I wait for my companion to arrive.
Why would she just now invite me to a birthday get together after all these years? For what reason am I the only person she contacted in the first place?
When will my coffee- oh.
I'm pulled back to reality by a familiar freckled, yet no longer bespectacled waitress placing a steaming mug in front of me. The smell and heat radiating from the drink warm my body and manage to calm my nerves a bit. I'm unable to keep a grin from spreading across my face as fond memories of this place flood back to my mind in an instant.
"Thank you, Yuuko," I say, turning to the waitress to flash her an appreciative smile. In doing so, I quickly take in the sight of what had once been a terribly awkward young lady.
Before entering the building I had not been expecting a familiar face at all, much less the confident, beautiful woman whose eyes had lit up upon my entrance. The anxious uni student and part-time librarian I had known had evolved into someone else entirely and it's...it's a relief in a way to see that someone from Yamaku is doing so well, even if she wasn't a student.
We spend a few moments catching up once more, continuing our conversation from when I had first arrived. Yuuko appears to be doing well, though she's no longer the librarian at Yamaku. She says that she's found a job in the city nearby and only comes back to the Shanghai to help out on weekends.
However, before I can inquire about her current occupation we both notice movement near the front of the building. A small group files in and stands awkwardly by the entrance, clearly searching for someone to seat them. Delivering a hasty apology and a sincere promise that we'll catch up more later, the freckled waitress spins around on her heels and moves to help the new party. My eyes start to follow her as she goes, but I stop myself.
Easy there, Hisao. You do have a girlfriend, after all.
As Yuuko takes her leave and I take a sip of my coffee, I begin to wonder if I've changed in such a way as well. When people look at me do they see a somewhat successful and ambitious young man, or just a poor little boy with a bad heart, fearfully waiting for the inevitable...
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here after all. This place is dredging up old memories I’d rather leave buried.
I'm stirred from my thoughts at the sound of the door opening behind me. At the same time something nags at the back of my mind, as if urging me not to look towards the noise. Not quite sure what to make of this, I decide to ignore it and begin to turn around as I hear Yuuko’s voice ring out once more.
“Oh my goodness, it’s so great to see you after all these years!!”
As I spin, I expect to catch sight of a shaggy head of auburn hair and a thin frame with tied off sleeves. Instead, I’m met with an average height woman with toned legs and hair that is between a strawberry blonde and brunette hue. My mind takes a few seconds to process what I’m seeing before suddenly clicking. When it does, a feeling of dread overcomes me, soon followed by a wave of anger.
Thump thump thump...thump thump...
My pulse begins quickening rapidly and I reflexively clutch at my shirt, settling my hand onto the table to steady myself. Shutting my eyes and listening closely to the sound of my heart, I wait for things to return to normal.
Thump thump thump thump thump.
Why? Why is she here?
Thump thump thump...thump...
I could deal with any other part of my past right now, but why did it have to be her?
Thump...thump thump...thump...
Emi Ibarazaki…
Once my heart has resumed its usual irregular beat I open my eyes again and turn back to the front of the Shanghai. As I feared, Emi is still standing there and has now locked her gaze onto me. I’m unable to read her emotions as she keeps her face entirely neutral, but I’m willing to bet that she’s just as surprised as I am.
After a quick embrace with Yuuko and a murmuring of thanks to her, Emi slowly begins to make her way towards me. The fact that the shock of seeing her was enough to make my heart rate soar is worrying to say the least. I don’t exactly have high hopes for whatever is coming next.
Watching her slowly move closer to the booth I’m currently occupying, my mind shoots off in multiple directions at once. It’s been years, but here she is, walking towards me like a wary animal closing in on an unwelcome guest in its habitat. No doubt Rin invited her to this event as well, and I kick myself for not realizing just how much sense that makes. How I didn’t consider that earlier is beyond me, but that no longer matters. As she strides closer, her neutral facade falls momentarily and I detect a hint of anger in her expression.
No doubt she’s not happy to see me, but then why is she even approaching me at all?
I’m not even left with enough time to ponder the question as the woman is now directly in front of me, her bright green eyes staring blankly into my own. If she wants to do something like punch me or yell at me she doesn’t show it. Instead, she speaks quietly.
“Hello, Hisao.”
Still not sure what to make of this, I politely return her greeting.
“Hello, Emi.”
Neither of us moves at first, maintaining eye contact for longer than what most would consider normal. After the moment passes, I gesture for Emi to take a seat across from me. As she moves into the empty space my eyes glance across her features, taking in the new curves and contours of her body. She’s starting to look a lot more like her mother in more ways than one, and it’s certainly not a bad thing. At the same time, however, her maturing only makes this encounter more frightening...
Calm down, Hisao. Your uneasiness is getting the better of you.
Not to mention the fact that this is Emi Ibarazaki sitting across from me.
While I’ve been stuck in my own head, Emi has been idly (albeit somewhat nervously) looking out the window. Rather than let things continue awkwardly like this, I opt to say something that I feel should be said.
“Look, Emi…” I begin. “I know that the last time we spoke it was definitely not on good terms, but-”
“We don’t need to talk about that, Hisao,” she cuts me off, shifting uncomfortably in the booth. “It was a long time ago, and it’s not important anymore.”
I’m inclined to disagree, as our interaction would not be this stilted if what happened wasn’t important. However, I realize that would do more harm than good and instead just finish what I was originally saying.
“Regardless of whether it’s important or not, I think we both need to make an effort to put that behind us. Today is for Rin, and we can’t ruin that because of events that occurred nearly 7 years ago.”
Emi opens her mouth as if to speak, but then promptly closes it. I lean in a little to encourage her to talk, and when she does it’s with a decisive nod of her head.
“Yes, I agree.”
I lean back into my seat and sigh. “Alright then, good.” Unsure of what else to do and not wanting to sit here quietly until Rin arrives, I attempt to engage in small talk. “So what have you been up to as of late?”
The woman across from me fidgets some more before answering.
“Just...doing what I’ve always done,” she replies. “Nothing much has really changed, I suppose.”
“I take that to mean you’re still running?”
“Yeah. Or at least that’s part of it.”
I raise an eyebrow questioningly, silently prompting Emi to elaborate. Before she can, however, we’re interrupted by the opening of the front door again.
“Oh, it’s been so long! How have you been, Rin?”
I breathe a sigh of relief, glad that the awkward air will now clear since our final party member has arrived. Glancing across the table confirms that Emi is feeling exactly the same as I am.
As Yuuko catches up with Rin, I observe her from a distance. Once again, it’s shocking just how much this person has changed over the years. What used to be a frail, spacey, shaggy haired girl is now a healthier looking and only slightly shaggy haired woman. That spaced out expression still remains somewhat, but even from here I can spot more emotion than what Rin used to display.
About a minute goes by before Yuuko points Rin in the direction of our table. She leaves with what I assume to be a quiet thank you and begins heading our way, her tied off sleeves swinging gently as she walks. Once she reaches the table, Rin takes a seat next to Emi and greets us both.
“Hello Emi, Hisao,” the woman says in a voice that’s surprisingly more cheerful than monotone.
“Hey, Rin! Happy Birthday!” Emi squeals, leaning in to wrap her in a tight embrace. She hesitates slightly, likely afraid that Rin may kick her, but disregards that possibility and entangles the woman in her arms.
“Happy 27th, Rin,” I say, offering her a warm smile.
Rin smiles back and thanks us both, though she seems to be studying me for some reason. I raise an eyebrow questioningly which causes the woman to shrug and avert her gaze.
“It’s great to see you two again,” I start, looking between the two people sitting across from me. “But I have to ask, why did you make it seem like I was the only one you invited, Rin?”
“That’s true, you didn’t tell me that Hisao would be coming either,” Emi adds.
Rin simply shrugs again. “It didn’t seem important at the time.”
Emi and I exchange an awkward glance, silently agreeing to drop the subject. However, before either of us can change the topic, Yuuko trots over and asks if we’re ready to order. We all quickly request our usuals (though I refrain from getting another cup of coffee, since I honestly shouldn’t be having caffeine in the first place) and she bows in response, stating that she’ll be back soon with our drinks.
As Yuuko makes her leave, Rin jump starts the conversation by asking how we’ve both been. Once again, Emi and I exchange a weird glance and she nods as if giving me permission to go first.
“Well, I guess the biggest thing is that I’m teaching high school physics now,” I start. “Mutou really seemed to think I had a knack for science, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least give it a shot. I wasn’t really cut out for actual lab work, so I figured the next option would be to teach a science. And here I am.”
The women congratulate me on my position and the spotlight shifts over to Emi.
“Gosh, what’s to say?” she says with an awkward smile. “I’ve just been doing a lot of running like always. Mostly just trying to find ways to incorporate it into a career for myself, though I think I may have finally found it…”
Emi trails off, presumably thinking of what to say next. During this silence Yuuko delivers our drinks to us. Emi’s is some bubbly concoction (a smoothie is the closest guess I can make) with a pink color that’s reminiscent of Misha’s hair. Rin receives a steaming cup of dark tea, while I simply get water. We all offer our thanks and Yuuko accepts them, moving off to attend to other tables.
Unfortunately, the conversation does not resume after the freckled waitress disappears, leaving us in an awkward silence that Emi clearly isn’t about to break. After she stays quiet for a while, Rin nonchalantly interjects.
“Well with your performance at the Olympics I’d imagine you could take your career wherever you’d like.”
At the mention of the Olympics the air turns to ice. Emi’s expression falls quite noticeably and I recede further into my seat, avoiding eye contact with either of them. I quickly realize that our reaction is not only extremely obvious, but quite rude to Rin. Returning to my previous state, I attempt to get the conversation rolling again. Before I can, however, Emi excuses herself to the restroom and practically darts from the table as Rin scoots out of her way.
The instant Emi is out of earshot, Rin speaks. It’s so perfectly calculated that I’d almost guess Rin did it on purpose...almost.
“You’re being cold with Emi,” she states, the familiar monotone returning to her voice.
“I am not,” I retort, taken aback. “It’s just kind of...odd seeing her after all this time, I guess. I’d figured that after the incident all those years ago we would never cross paths again.”
Rin snorts at this and dismisses the topic by leading into a new one.
“So how are you, Hisao?”
Not quite sure what she means by this, I repeat what I said earlier about my current job and what I’ve been doing as of late.
“Actually,” I add. “I also met someone at the school I’ve been teaching at and we started dating about 6 months ago. She’s an awesome person, you guys would probably ge-”
Rin cuts me off mid-sentence. “That’s all well and good, but how have you YOURSELF been doing, Hisao?”
Caught off-guard (for what must be the twelfth time this afternoon), I fumble around for an answer. Unable to find one, I give a relenting shrug.
“You don’t have to understand yourself,” Rin explains, knowingly. “But at the very least, you need to know how you feel.”
Until now, I hadn’t given much thought to my current position in life. I’d always settled for being “content” without even considering anything else, probably because it was just the easiest thing to do after...well, after everything went to shit.
“I’d like to think I’m content with my life,” I mutter in response to Rin, who stares blankly at me. Her eyes betray a hint of discontent with this answer, but she doesn’t press it and instead replies with a sage nod of her head.
Glad that the topic seems to have finally left us, I ask Rin just what she’s been up to for all these years.
“Art,” she says, shrugging.
Well it’s good to know not much has changed…
As if on cue, Yuuko returns with our orders. It’s practically like I stepped into the past as the familiar set of sandwiches and cake slide into place on the table. We thank Yuuko and she bows once more before swirling away.
Both Rin and I recede into our minds for a while, quietly sipping our drinks and enjoying the silence until Emi returns, looking much less pale than when she left.
The rest of the time at the Shanghai is a blur, much of it filled with Emi’s babbling. She briefly talks about wanting to coach high school or college teams permanently, but everything else is simply Emi-speed-smalltalk.
As the conversation races forward (while simultaneously remaining perfectly stagnant), I begin to notice the dark clouds from earlier moving closer to us and the city. If that isn’t a sign that we should go home now, I don’t know what is. I ungracefully cut Emi off mid sentence.
“Not to interrupt, but I think we should get going soon,” I say. “A storm’s definitely about to hit and I’m sure none of us want to be caught in it when it does.”
Rin and Emi look outside for what must be the first time since they got here, as they seem visibly surprised at how much closer the dark clouds have gotten. Both of them nod in agreement and we stand to leave.
“A taxi is on its way to get me since I don’t live near any bus routes,” Rin states flatly. “Should be here in a few minutes, so I’ll wait inside. You two be safe on your way back.”
Emi pouts at this, clearly not wanting to say goodbye to Rin. She leans in and wraps her arms around the auburn haired woman, also offering her farewell and telling her to stay safe. Rin’s only response is a slight nod of her head.
After they break apart Rin turns to me. She walks over and flops against my torso, a gesture which I understand is the closest she can get to hugging me. I reciprocate by gently wrapping my arms around her and telling her to be safe as well. Once we part Rin gives me a look that I can’t quite decipher, followed by a quick glance down the road.
“I assume you both took the bus from the city,” Rin says. “You should probably hurry if you don’t want to miss it.”
Oh no…
“I didn’t realize you lived in the city as well, Emi.”
“Yup,” she replies with what I can only assume is fake cheeriness. “Looks like we’ll be taking the same bus back!”
“Well we’d better get going before the rain starts up,” I decide, moving towards the exit. “Goodbye, Rin!”
Emi parrots my farewell and we exit the Shanghai together, starting in the direction of the bus stop. As we step outside the wind greets us with a chill that definitely says “prepare for a storm.” Emi speeds up her stride and I follow suit, keeping pace with her as best I can. I feel the uneven beating of my heart steadily increase as we move, but I ignore it. It’s easy to get used to when it happens so frequently.
Before long we round a corner and see our stop. The bus sits there with both doors open, its engine rumbling deeply while it waits to depart. Emi transitions into a jog to make sure the driver doesn’t leave without us while I follow closely behind her, my pulse rising a small amount with each step I take.
We reach the vehicle just as the final passenger boards. The driver nods as we enter, indicating that we barely made it. Once we take our seats the doors swing shut and the bus lurches away from the curb. As if on cue, rain begins pattering against the windows.
“Looks like we made it just in time,” I comment, watching as the droplets streak down the glass. “I’d bet this turns into a downpour in a matter of minutes.”
“Hopefully not,” Emi murmurs. “I’ve still gotta transfer to the A bus after this.”
“Whoa wait, the A? That’s a pretty big distance to walk in this weather.”
The rain outside begins to come down harder, as if confirming my statement.
“Yeah,” the woman beside me sighs. “But the final stop for this bus is as close as I can get to the A. And even then it’s still a few blocks from the A’s last stop to my apartments.”
I frown when she says this, realizing that my good nature is about to outweigh my common sense. Before I can talk myself out of it, I bite my lip and trudge forward.
“If you want you can wait out the storm in my place,” I offer.
Emi smiles politely and turns down my attempt at hospitality. “I really appreciate it, Hisao, but I’ll be fine. I’ve made the trip in worse weather than this.”
I sit silently for a moment, watching as water comes down at a steadily increasing rate. It’s clear that it’s only going to get worse at this point. Emi is obviously thinking the same thing that I am, as I can see her brow furrowing as she stares out the window.
A crack of lightning illuminates the sky, followed by a deep rumbling of thunder. Emi winces, seemingly dreading the trip she intends to make.
I decide to push a tiny bit.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright walking that far? It’s seriously coming down out there…”
“I’ll be fine,” Emi huffs, staring down at her feet. “Besides, I’d hate to be a burden to you.”
I assure her that she would be nothing of the sort, but something tells me that she’s declining my offer for reasons other than not wanting to burden me.
Rather than press the issue further, I accept her response and lean back into my seat. As I gaze out the window into the roaring storm, my mind churns with the wind. Memories, regrets, and pain from the past flow through me. I can practically feel the same thing resonating from Emi as she sits next to me with a downcast expression.
What’s wrong with us? Everything happened years ago, why can’t we just move on?
Before I’m able to further ponder this question, the bus rolls to a halt and opens its doors for my stop. As I move to stand Emi follows suit. I almost question her before realizing that this would be the closest spot for her to transfer to the other bus from. Without a word we exit the vehicle and step into the torrent of wind and rain.
The instant we set foot into the monsoon it’s clear that Emi is having second thoughts about making the trek to her second bus. She looks at me with large eyes and already soaked hair, water streaming down her features.
“C’mon,” I declare firmly. “You’re not walking home in this.”
Emi simply nods and follows me as I turn on my heels, jogging off in the direction of my apartment. I can see it from the bus stop so it isn’t too far, but I have no desire to stay in this weather any longer than necessary.
I point out which building is mine to Emi and speed up my jog. She does the same, only her jog practically becomes a full out sprint. In a split second she’s pulled ahead of me as I struggle to keep up. Being caught in this rain for longer doesn’t sound particularly enticing, so I do my best to stay near her.
By the time we’ve reached the stairwell my breath is coming out in ragged gasps. Despite my best effort to hide it, Emi has clearly noticed and has a worried look in her eyes. I ignore her and stumble past the stairs, heading for the elevator. Attempting to walk up five flights right now would be suicide.
I press the call button and the doors slide open immediately, inviting us into their drab interior. We enter, water puddling on the floor at our feet as I hit “5” and we move upward. The ride is just long enough to create an awkward tension between the two of us. The only sound is my erratic breathing echoing off the metal walls.
The elevator slows and the doors open, prompting us to exit into my hallway. I lead the way with Emi following closely, bringing us both to my apartment just a few doors down.
“Here we are,” I say as I unlock the door. “Make yourself at home, I’ll get some towels so we can dry off.”
I push through the entrance and veer off towards the bathroom, motioning towards the living room so Emi knows where to go. Immediately upon closing the door I stumble over a bit, supporting myself on the sink. As I gaze at myself in the mirror it’s clear that I’m in pretty poor shape. I wait for the thumping of my heart to settle.
Once I feel the rhythm of my heart return to normal, I splash some water in my face and give my cheeks a few smacks.
You’re fine, Hisao. You’re fine.
Satisfied with my condition, I grab a few towels and move back into the living room. When I return Emi is exactly where I left her, her eyes slowly scanning my apartment.
“Hey,” I say, waving a hand in front of her face. “Anybody home?”
She jumps a tiny bit, clearly lost in space the moment before.
“T-thank you!” she blurts out, taking the towel from my outstretched hand.
“You seemed a bit distracted there. Not sure what in here could do that to someone.”
I chuckle as I say this, hoping to lighten the air. My attempt at humor, however, goes right over Emi’s head.
“Sorry, it’s just…” she murmurs under her breath. “This reminds me of your old dorm room.”
This statement makes me falter, my smile drooping slightly. Glancing around the place, I can see why she’d say that. The walls and surfaces are barren, devoid of any decorations or accessory furniture to catch your eye. The only notable object in the room is a picture of my family, placed in a basic frame, perched on the wall above the couch.
“Eh, I’m just not one for decorating,” I say, attempting to shut down the situation.
Emi stays quiet, her eyes fixated on the ground.
“Hey, is something wrong?” I ask. “You look like something’s troubling you.”
She looks up at me and opens her mouth, but quickly closes it and bites her lip. I take a seat on the couch and invite her to sit down too, prompting her to say whatever’s on her mind. Emi accepts this invitation, pausing for a moment longer before speaking up.
“I know you’ve probably been fine taking care of yourself these past years, Hisao...but you didn’t seem to be doing too well a few minutes ago.”
Instantly I feel my pulse increase, the sound of my heart rising in my ears. I try to push down the irritation that bubbles up at her statement. I know that her worry comes from a place of caring, but regardless her words...they almost offend me, in a way.
“I noticed that you didn’t want to take the stairs,” she continues. “It just made me wonder...if you’re doing alri-”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I interrupt. “I’m doing fine.”
My tone causes Emi to back off and eye me apologetically. Rather than dwelling on it, I usher in a new topic of conversation.
“So I know you still love running, but what made you want to go into coaching?”
She bounces back, seemingly eager to move away from the previous tension. “Well I can’t keep running competitively forever,” Emi begins. “So I thought that maybe, insteading of only focusing on myself, I could try to help others reach their goals too.”
Her eyes seem to light up as she speaks and I can feel that fire rising inside her like it used to years ago.
“Whether it’s simply getting healthy or moving up to compete in something as big as the Olympics,” she continues, determination flowing from her voice. “There’s an odd sort of pride and satisfaction I feel when I know I’ve helped someone succeed or improve in areas they’re weak in.”
Emi turns her gaze to me and it softens noticeably as she says this. I can clearly see the pity in her eyes and it makes me want to vomit. Of all people, I thought she would never be one to give somebody such a look.
The woman shifts around nervously, clearly wanting to say something but not knowing how to. After a moment she opens her mouth.
“Have you...been keeping up with your running recently?”
The question doesn’t surprise me. I figured she would ask sooner or later, especially after our run from the bus stop. Rather than respond, I turn my gaze towards the ground, listening to the storm rage on outside the apartment.
“I know it’s not exactly my place to say this, but...you should really try to maintain a schedule. It’s important that you-”
At this point I tune her out. I’ve heard all of these words a thousand times before, but hearing them from Emi causes my temper to rise even further. My fists clench tightly and I can feel my pulse quickening every second.
Maybe it is ultimately my fault for stopping running, but regardless…
Before I can stop myself I burst, interrupting Emi.
“Of all the people to lecture me about my health, I never thought it’d be the one who fucked my routine in the first place.”
Emi’s eyes widen with my comment. A look of shock covers her face for a few moments before turning to bitterness and regret.
“I’m sorry for trying to help,” she mutters.
A silent tension quickly fills the room. The two of us sit in this state for what feels like forever, listening to the crackling of thunder and the pelting of rain.
After a while I begin to wonder if I should apologize for being so rude.
Warranted or not, that may have been unnecessary…
I continue to consider if I should break the silence, but before I can even make a decision Emi does it for me.
“You need to stay healthy, Hisao.”
I’m taken aback as she says this, having thought that we were done with this conversation. I start to respond, but Emi cuts me off.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it. It’s important, Hisao. And not only for your sake.”
I lean back in my seat as her words echo through my head. As much as I want to fight her on the issue, she’s absolutely correct. This time, instead of retaliating, I give her a proper response.
“I know I need to get back into a routine,” I sigh. “But after...everything that happened, it was so hard to see running as a way to clear my mind. Instead it just became an activity that dredged up bad memories. Not to mention that staying consistent is much harder without a partner.”
Emi’s brow furrows at my statement. “Well, maybe I could…” she pauses, mulling something over in her head.
“What is it?” I ask, attempting to coax the words out of her.
Instead of finishing her sentence, the woman shakes her head firmly. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want to overstep my bounds.”
As Emi says this, the storm outside begins to subside. The thunder has stopped, and all that remains is a light drizzle falling from the overcast skies. She seems to take this as her cue to leave, slowly lifting herself from my couch and turning towards the door.
I stand and follow her to the entrance, grabbing a spare umbrella on the way.
“Here, take this,” I say, extending the object to her. “It’ll actually be useful since the rain’s much lighter now.”
Emi hesitates, looking like she wants to reject the offer. However, she takes the umbrella from my hand and flashes me a polite smile.
“Thank you, Hisao.”
“You remember the way back, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it,” Emi declares, her usual cheeriness slowly returning. “I’ll...see you around, okay?”
In the back of my mind I hope not, as this encounter has brought nothing but stress.
“Of course,” I reply. “Get home safely.”
“Bye, Hisao.”
With our farewells exchanged, Emi sets off down the hall, her feet clicking lightly against the floor as she goes. I stand outside my apartment for another second before moving back inside.
Although it’s not even late yet, the events of the day have significantly drained me. After downing my requirement of pills I flop into bed, basking in the softness of the mattress and the silky sheets as they embrace me.
I can only hope that tomorrow is a better day.
Hello hello all! A brief introduction of myself: I'm scratchminus, the writer of Stopping Short, an Emi fan fiction from 2 years ago. At the time I had said that I had another story in the works and would be releasing it soon. Clearly, that didn't happen. But here I am, 2 years later, finally giving what I said I would. Hopefully you all enjoy my newest story, and I'll try to stay consistent with my uploads this time!
As always, constructive criticism and feedback is welcome and highly encouraged. I think I've gotten better in the past 2 years (lol hopefully), but there's always room for even more improvement.
*NOTE* This story takes place many years after Emi's Good Ending.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Reunion
Chapter 2 - Thoughts Aflutter
Chapter 3 - Exertion
Chapter 4 - Disclosure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1 - Reunion
The gentle, irregular thumping behind my chest rings in my ears, dulled ever so slightly by the noises around me. The small restaurant resting within the quiet town is just as it was years ago. Very nearly empty, it's no surprise that my heartbeat is readily audible despite the occasional footsteps and clatter of dishes.
As my gaze moves to the sky outside, my reason for being here floats back to the front of my mind.
An old friend had contacted me about a week ago to invite me to her birthday get together. She said it was intended to be a reunion of sorts between friends. I was confused at first, as this had been the first time she had gotten in touch with me in...years, probably? We definitely didn’t talk on a regular basis, although she would occasionally surprise me with a call out of the blue to cryptically ask how I’d been.
Despite our lack of communication, I very well couldn’t say no when I was completely free on the proposed date. Unsure of what else to do, I had reluctantly agreed to her chosen meeting time and place and now...
...here I am.
Through the window I can spot dark clouds forming in the distance. I doubt we'll be able to get out of here before a storm of some sorts hits.
Wonderful.
A multitude of thoughts run through my head as I wait for my companion to arrive.
Why would she just now invite me to a birthday get together after all these years? For what reason am I the only person she contacted in the first place?
When will my coffee- oh.
I'm pulled back to reality by a familiar freckled, yet no longer bespectacled waitress placing a steaming mug in front of me. The smell and heat radiating from the drink warm my body and manage to calm my nerves a bit. I'm unable to keep a grin from spreading across my face as fond memories of this place flood back to my mind in an instant.
"Thank you, Yuuko," I say, turning to the waitress to flash her an appreciative smile. In doing so, I quickly take in the sight of what had once been a terribly awkward young lady.
Before entering the building I had not been expecting a familiar face at all, much less the confident, beautiful woman whose eyes had lit up upon my entrance. The anxious uni student and part-time librarian I had known had evolved into someone else entirely and it's...it's a relief in a way to see that someone from Yamaku is doing so well, even if she wasn't a student.
We spend a few moments catching up once more, continuing our conversation from when I had first arrived. Yuuko appears to be doing well, though she's no longer the librarian at Yamaku. She says that she's found a job in the city nearby and only comes back to the Shanghai to help out on weekends.
However, before I can inquire about her current occupation we both notice movement near the front of the building. A small group files in and stands awkwardly by the entrance, clearly searching for someone to seat them. Delivering a hasty apology and a sincere promise that we'll catch up more later, the freckled waitress spins around on her heels and moves to help the new party. My eyes start to follow her as she goes, but I stop myself.
Easy there, Hisao. You do have a girlfriend, after all.
As Yuuko takes her leave and I take a sip of my coffee, I begin to wonder if I've changed in such a way as well. When people look at me do they see a somewhat successful and ambitious young man, or just a poor little boy with a bad heart, fearfully waiting for the inevitable...
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here after all. This place is dredging up old memories I’d rather leave buried.
I'm stirred from my thoughts at the sound of the door opening behind me. At the same time something nags at the back of my mind, as if urging me not to look towards the noise. Not quite sure what to make of this, I decide to ignore it and begin to turn around as I hear Yuuko’s voice ring out once more.
“Oh my goodness, it’s so great to see you after all these years!!”
As I spin, I expect to catch sight of a shaggy head of auburn hair and a thin frame with tied off sleeves. Instead, I’m met with an average height woman with toned legs and hair that is between a strawberry blonde and brunette hue. My mind takes a few seconds to process what I’m seeing before suddenly clicking. When it does, a feeling of dread overcomes me, soon followed by a wave of anger.
Thump thump thump...thump thump...
My pulse begins quickening rapidly and I reflexively clutch at my shirt, settling my hand onto the table to steady myself. Shutting my eyes and listening closely to the sound of my heart, I wait for things to return to normal.
Thump thump thump thump thump.
Why? Why is she here?
Thump thump thump...thump...
I could deal with any other part of my past right now, but why did it have to be her?
Thump...thump thump...thump...
Emi Ibarazaki…
Once my heart has resumed its usual irregular beat I open my eyes again and turn back to the front of the Shanghai. As I feared, Emi is still standing there and has now locked her gaze onto me. I’m unable to read her emotions as she keeps her face entirely neutral, but I’m willing to bet that she’s just as surprised as I am.
After a quick embrace with Yuuko and a murmuring of thanks to her, Emi slowly begins to make her way towards me. The fact that the shock of seeing her was enough to make my heart rate soar is worrying to say the least. I don’t exactly have high hopes for whatever is coming next.
Watching her slowly move closer to the booth I’m currently occupying, my mind shoots off in multiple directions at once. It’s been years, but here she is, walking towards me like a wary animal closing in on an unwelcome guest in its habitat. No doubt Rin invited her to this event as well, and I kick myself for not realizing just how much sense that makes. How I didn’t consider that earlier is beyond me, but that no longer matters. As she strides closer, her neutral facade falls momentarily and I detect a hint of anger in her expression.
No doubt she’s not happy to see me, but then why is she even approaching me at all?
I’m not even left with enough time to ponder the question as the woman is now directly in front of me, her bright green eyes staring blankly into my own. If she wants to do something like punch me or yell at me she doesn’t show it. Instead, she speaks quietly.
“Hello, Hisao.”
Still not sure what to make of this, I politely return her greeting.
“Hello, Emi.”
Neither of us moves at first, maintaining eye contact for longer than what most would consider normal. After the moment passes, I gesture for Emi to take a seat across from me. As she moves into the empty space my eyes glance across her features, taking in the new curves and contours of her body. She’s starting to look a lot more like her mother in more ways than one, and it’s certainly not a bad thing. At the same time, however, her maturing only makes this encounter more frightening...
Calm down, Hisao. Your uneasiness is getting the better of you.
Not to mention the fact that this is Emi Ibarazaki sitting across from me.
While I’ve been stuck in my own head, Emi has been idly (albeit somewhat nervously) looking out the window. Rather than let things continue awkwardly like this, I opt to say something that I feel should be said.
“Look, Emi…” I begin. “I know that the last time we spoke it was definitely not on good terms, but-”
“We don’t need to talk about that, Hisao,” she cuts me off, shifting uncomfortably in the booth. “It was a long time ago, and it’s not important anymore.”
I’m inclined to disagree, as our interaction would not be this stilted if what happened wasn’t important. However, I realize that would do more harm than good and instead just finish what I was originally saying.
“Regardless of whether it’s important or not, I think we both need to make an effort to put that behind us. Today is for Rin, and we can’t ruin that because of events that occurred nearly 7 years ago.”
Emi opens her mouth as if to speak, but then promptly closes it. I lean in a little to encourage her to talk, and when she does it’s with a decisive nod of her head.
“Yes, I agree.”
I lean back into my seat and sigh. “Alright then, good.” Unsure of what else to do and not wanting to sit here quietly until Rin arrives, I attempt to engage in small talk. “So what have you been up to as of late?”
The woman across from me fidgets some more before answering.
“Just...doing what I’ve always done,” she replies. “Nothing much has really changed, I suppose.”
“I take that to mean you’re still running?”
“Yeah. Or at least that’s part of it.”
I raise an eyebrow questioningly, silently prompting Emi to elaborate. Before she can, however, we’re interrupted by the opening of the front door again.
“Oh, it’s been so long! How have you been, Rin?”
I breathe a sigh of relief, glad that the awkward air will now clear since our final party member has arrived. Glancing across the table confirms that Emi is feeling exactly the same as I am.
As Yuuko catches up with Rin, I observe her from a distance. Once again, it’s shocking just how much this person has changed over the years. What used to be a frail, spacey, shaggy haired girl is now a healthier looking and only slightly shaggy haired woman. That spaced out expression still remains somewhat, but even from here I can spot more emotion than what Rin used to display.
About a minute goes by before Yuuko points Rin in the direction of our table. She leaves with what I assume to be a quiet thank you and begins heading our way, her tied off sleeves swinging gently as she walks. Once she reaches the table, Rin takes a seat next to Emi and greets us both.
“Hello Emi, Hisao,” the woman says in a voice that’s surprisingly more cheerful than monotone.
“Hey, Rin! Happy Birthday!” Emi squeals, leaning in to wrap her in a tight embrace. She hesitates slightly, likely afraid that Rin may kick her, but disregards that possibility and entangles the woman in her arms.
“Happy 27th, Rin,” I say, offering her a warm smile.
Rin smiles back and thanks us both, though she seems to be studying me for some reason. I raise an eyebrow questioningly which causes the woman to shrug and avert her gaze.
“It’s great to see you two again,” I start, looking between the two people sitting across from me. “But I have to ask, why did you make it seem like I was the only one you invited, Rin?”
“That’s true, you didn’t tell me that Hisao would be coming either,” Emi adds.
Rin simply shrugs again. “It didn’t seem important at the time.”
Emi and I exchange an awkward glance, silently agreeing to drop the subject. However, before either of us can change the topic, Yuuko trots over and asks if we’re ready to order. We all quickly request our usuals (though I refrain from getting another cup of coffee, since I honestly shouldn’t be having caffeine in the first place) and she bows in response, stating that she’ll be back soon with our drinks.
As Yuuko makes her leave, Rin jump starts the conversation by asking how we’ve both been. Once again, Emi and I exchange a weird glance and she nods as if giving me permission to go first.
“Well, I guess the biggest thing is that I’m teaching high school physics now,” I start. “Mutou really seemed to think I had a knack for science, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least give it a shot. I wasn’t really cut out for actual lab work, so I figured the next option would be to teach a science. And here I am.”
The women congratulate me on my position and the spotlight shifts over to Emi.
“Gosh, what’s to say?” she says with an awkward smile. “I’ve just been doing a lot of running like always. Mostly just trying to find ways to incorporate it into a career for myself, though I think I may have finally found it…”
Emi trails off, presumably thinking of what to say next. During this silence Yuuko delivers our drinks to us. Emi’s is some bubbly concoction (a smoothie is the closest guess I can make) with a pink color that’s reminiscent of Misha’s hair. Rin receives a steaming cup of dark tea, while I simply get water. We all offer our thanks and Yuuko accepts them, moving off to attend to other tables.
Unfortunately, the conversation does not resume after the freckled waitress disappears, leaving us in an awkward silence that Emi clearly isn’t about to break. After she stays quiet for a while, Rin nonchalantly interjects.
“Well with your performance at the Olympics I’d imagine you could take your career wherever you’d like.”
At the mention of the Olympics the air turns to ice. Emi’s expression falls quite noticeably and I recede further into my seat, avoiding eye contact with either of them. I quickly realize that our reaction is not only extremely obvious, but quite rude to Rin. Returning to my previous state, I attempt to get the conversation rolling again. Before I can, however, Emi excuses herself to the restroom and practically darts from the table as Rin scoots out of her way.
The instant Emi is out of earshot, Rin speaks. It’s so perfectly calculated that I’d almost guess Rin did it on purpose...almost.
“You’re being cold with Emi,” she states, the familiar monotone returning to her voice.
“I am not,” I retort, taken aback. “It’s just kind of...odd seeing her after all this time, I guess. I’d figured that after the incident all those years ago we would never cross paths again.”
Rin snorts at this and dismisses the topic by leading into a new one.
“So how are you, Hisao?”
Not quite sure what she means by this, I repeat what I said earlier about my current job and what I’ve been doing as of late.
“Actually,” I add. “I also met someone at the school I’ve been teaching at and we started dating about 6 months ago. She’s an awesome person, you guys would probably ge-”
Rin cuts me off mid-sentence. “That’s all well and good, but how have you YOURSELF been doing, Hisao?”
Caught off-guard (for what must be the twelfth time this afternoon), I fumble around for an answer. Unable to find one, I give a relenting shrug.
“You don’t have to understand yourself,” Rin explains, knowingly. “But at the very least, you need to know how you feel.”
Until now, I hadn’t given much thought to my current position in life. I’d always settled for being “content” without even considering anything else, probably because it was just the easiest thing to do after...well, after everything went to shit.
“I’d like to think I’m content with my life,” I mutter in response to Rin, who stares blankly at me. Her eyes betray a hint of discontent with this answer, but she doesn’t press it and instead replies with a sage nod of her head.
Glad that the topic seems to have finally left us, I ask Rin just what she’s been up to for all these years.
“Art,” she says, shrugging.
Well it’s good to know not much has changed…
As if on cue, Yuuko returns with our orders. It’s practically like I stepped into the past as the familiar set of sandwiches and cake slide into place on the table. We thank Yuuko and she bows once more before swirling away.
Both Rin and I recede into our minds for a while, quietly sipping our drinks and enjoying the silence until Emi returns, looking much less pale than when she left.
The rest of the time at the Shanghai is a blur, much of it filled with Emi’s babbling. She briefly talks about wanting to coach high school or college teams permanently, but everything else is simply Emi-speed-smalltalk.
As the conversation races forward (while simultaneously remaining perfectly stagnant), I begin to notice the dark clouds from earlier moving closer to us and the city. If that isn’t a sign that we should go home now, I don’t know what is. I ungracefully cut Emi off mid sentence.
“Not to interrupt, but I think we should get going soon,” I say. “A storm’s definitely about to hit and I’m sure none of us want to be caught in it when it does.”
Rin and Emi look outside for what must be the first time since they got here, as they seem visibly surprised at how much closer the dark clouds have gotten. Both of them nod in agreement and we stand to leave.
“A taxi is on its way to get me since I don’t live near any bus routes,” Rin states flatly. “Should be here in a few minutes, so I’ll wait inside. You two be safe on your way back.”
Emi pouts at this, clearly not wanting to say goodbye to Rin. She leans in and wraps her arms around the auburn haired woman, also offering her farewell and telling her to stay safe. Rin’s only response is a slight nod of her head.
After they break apart Rin turns to me. She walks over and flops against my torso, a gesture which I understand is the closest she can get to hugging me. I reciprocate by gently wrapping my arms around her and telling her to be safe as well. Once we part Rin gives me a look that I can’t quite decipher, followed by a quick glance down the road.
“I assume you both took the bus from the city,” Rin says. “You should probably hurry if you don’t want to miss it.”
Oh no…
“I didn’t realize you lived in the city as well, Emi.”
“Yup,” she replies with what I can only assume is fake cheeriness. “Looks like we’ll be taking the same bus back!”
“Well we’d better get going before the rain starts up,” I decide, moving towards the exit. “Goodbye, Rin!”
Emi parrots my farewell and we exit the Shanghai together, starting in the direction of the bus stop. As we step outside the wind greets us with a chill that definitely says “prepare for a storm.” Emi speeds up her stride and I follow suit, keeping pace with her as best I can. I feel the uneven beating of my heart steadily increase as we move, but I ignore it. It’s easy to get used to when it happens so frequently.
Before long we round a corner and see our stop. The bus sits there with both doors open, its engine rumbling deeply while it waits to depart. Emi transitions into a jog to make sure the driver doesn’t leave without us while I follow closely behind her, my pulse rising a small amount with each step I take.
We reach the vehicle just as the final passenger boards. The driver nods as we enter, indicating that we barely made it. Once we take our seats the doors swing shut and the bus lurches away from the curb. As if on cue, rain begins pattering against the windows.
“Looks like we made it just in time,” I comment, watching as the droplets streak down the glass. “I’d bet this turns into a downpour in a matter of minutes.”
“Hopefully not,” Emi murmurs. “I’ve still gotta transfer to the A bus after this.”
“Whoa wait, the A? That’s a pretty big distance to walk in this weather.”
The rain outside begins to come down harder, as if confirming my statement.
“Yeah,” the woman beside me sighs. “But the final stop for this bus is as close as I can get to the A. And even then it’s still a few blocks from the A’s last stop to my apartments.”
I frown when she says this, realizing that my good nature is about to outweigh my common sense. Before I can talk myself out of it, I bite my lip and trudge forward.
“If you want you can wait out the storm in my place,” I offer.
Emi smiles politely and turns down my attempt at hospitality. “I really appreciate it, Hisao, but I’ll be fine. I’ve made the trip in worse weather than this.”
I sit silently for a moment, watching as water comes down at a steadily increasing rate. It’s clear that it’s only going to get worse at this point. Emi is obviously thinking the same thing that I am, as I can see her brow furrowing as she stares out the window.
A crack of lightning illuminates the sky, followed by a deep rumbling of thunder. Emi winces, seemingly dreading the trip she intends to make.
I decide to push a tiny bit.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright walking that far? It’s seriously coming down out there…”
“I’ll be fine,” Emi huffs, staring down at her feet. “Besides, I’d hate to be a burden to you.”
I assure her that she would be nothing of the sort, but something tells me that she’s declining my offer for reasons other than not wanting to burden me.
Rather than press the issue further, I accept her response and lean back into my seat. As I gaze out the window into the roaring storm, my mind churns with the wind. Memories, regrets, and pain from the past flow through me. I can practically feel the same thing resonating from Emi as she sits next to me with a downcast expression.
What’s wrong with us? Everything happened years ago, why can’t we just move on?
Before I’m able to further ponder this question, the bus rolls to a halt and opens its doors for my stop. As I move to stand Emi follows suit. I almost question her before realizing that this would be the closest spot for her to transfer to the other bus from. Without a word we exit the vehicle and step into the torrent of wind and rain.
The instant we set foot into the monsoon it’s clear that Emi is having second thoughts about making the trek to her second bus. She looks at me with large eyes and already soaked hair, water streaming down her features.
“C’mon,” I declare firmly. “You’re not walking home in this.”
Emi simply nods and follows me as I turn on my heels, jogging off in the direction of my apartment. I can see it from the bus stop so it isn’t too far, but I have no desire to stay in this weather any longer than necessary.
I point out which building is mine to Emi and speed up my jog. She does the same, only her jog practically becomes a full out sprint. In a split second she’s pulled ahead of me as I struggle to keep up. Being caught in this rain for longer doesn’t sound particularly enticing, so I do my best to stay near her.
By the time we’ve reached the stairwell my breath is coming out in ragged gasps. Despite my best effort to hide it, Emi has clearly noticed and has a worried look in her eyes. I ignore her and stumble past the stairs, heading for the elevator. Attempting to walk up five flights right now would be suicide.
I press the call button and the doors slide open immediately, inviting us into their drab interior. We enter, water puddling on the floor at our feet as I hit “5” and we move upward. The ride is just long enough to create an awkward tension between the two of us. The only sound is my erratic breathing echoing off the metal walls.
The elevator slows and the doors open, prompting us to exit into my hallway. I lead the way with Emi following closely, bringing us both to my apartment just a few doors down.
“Here we are,” I say as I unlock the door. “Make yourself at home, I’ll get some towels so we can dry off.”
I push through the entrance and veer off towards the bathroom, motioning towards the living room so Emi knows where to go. Immediately upon closing the door I stumble over a bit, supporting myself on the sink. As I gaze at myself in the mirror it’s clear that I’m in pretty poor shape. I wait for the thumping of my heart to settle.
Once I feel the rhythm of my heart return to normal, I splash some water in my face and give my cheeks a few smacks.
You’re fine, Hisao. You’re fine.
Satisfied with my condition, I grab a few towels and move back into the living room. When I return Emi is exactly where I left her, her eyes slowly scanning my apartment.
“Hey,” I say, waving a hand in front of her face. “Anybody home?”
She jumps a tiny bit, clearly lost in space the moment before.
“T-thank you!” she blurts out, taking the towel from my outstretched hand.
“You seemed a bit distracted there. Not sure what in here could do that to someone.”
I chuckle as I say this, hoping to lighten the air. My attempt at humor, however, goes right over Emi’s head.
“Sorry, it’s just…” she murmurs under her breath. “This reminds me of your old dorm room.”
This statement makes me falter, my smile drooping slightly. Glancing around the place, I can see why she’d say that. The walls and surfaces are barren, devoid of any decorations or accessory furniture to catch your eye. The only notable object in the room is a picture of my family, placed in a basic frame, perched on the wall above the couch.
“Eh, I’m just not one for decorating,” I say, attempting to shut down the situation.
Emi stays quiet, her eyes fixated on the ground.
“Hey, is something wrong?” I ask. “You look like something’s troubling you.”
She looks up at me and opens her mouth, but quickly closes it and bites her lip. I take a seat on the couch and invite her to sit down too, prompting her to say whatever’s on her mind. Emi accepts this invitation, pausing for a moment longer before speaking up.
“I know you’ve probably been fine taking care of yourself these past years, Hisao...but you didn’t seem to be doing too well a few minutes ago.”
Instantly I feel my pulse increase, the sound of my heart rising in my ears. I try to push down the irritation that bubbles up at her statement. I know that her worry comes from a place of caring, but regardless her words...they almost offend me, in a way.
“I noticed that you didn’t want to take the stairs,” she continues. “It just made me wonder...if you’re doing alri-”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I interrupt. “I’m doing fine.”
My tone causes Emi to back off and eye me apologetically. Rather than dwelling on it, I usher in a new topic of conversation.
“So I know you still love running, but what made you want to go into coaching?”
She bounces back, seemingly eager to move away from the previous tension. “Well I can’t keep running competitively forever,” Emi begins. “So I thought that maybe, insteading of only focusing on myself, I could try to help others reach their goals too.”
Her eyes seem to light up as she speaks and I can feel that fire rising inside her like it used to years ago.
“Whether it’s simply getting healthy or moving up to compete in something as big as the Olympics,” she continues, determination flowing from her voice. “There’s an odd sort of pride and satisfaction I feel when I know I’ve helped someone succeed or improve in areas they’re weak in.”
Emi turns her gaze to me and it softens noticeably as she says this. I can clearly see the pity in her eyes and it makes me want to vomit. Of all people, I thought she would never be one to give somebody such a look.
The woman shifts around nervously, clearly wanting to say something but not knowing how to. After a moment she opens her mouth.
“Have you...been keeping up with your running recently?”
The question doesn’t surprise me. I figured she would ask sooner or later, especially after our run from the bus stop. Rather than respond, I turn my gaze towards the ground, listening to the storm rage on outside the apartment.
“I know it’s not exactly my place to say this, but...you should really try to maintain a schedule. It’s important that you-”
At this point I tune her out. I’ve heard all of these words a thousand times before, but hearing them from Emi causes my temper to rise even further. My fists clench tightly and I can feel my pulse quickening every second.
Maybe it is ultimately my fault for stopping running, but regardless…
Before I can stop myself I burst, interrupting Emi.
“Of all the people to lecture me about my health, I never thought it’d be the one who fucked my routine in the first place.”
Emi’s eyes widen with my comment. A look of shock covers her face for a few moments before turning to bitterness and regret.
“I’m sorry for trying to help,” she mutters.
A silent tension quickly fills the room. The two of us sit in this state for what feels like forever, listening to the crackling of thunder and the pelting of rain.
After a while I begin to wonder if I should apologize for being so rude.
Warranted or not, that may have been unnecessary…
I continue to consider if I should break the silence, but before I can even make a decision Emi does it for me.
“You need to stay healthy, Hisao.”
I’m taken aback as she says this, having thought that we were done with this conversation. I start to respond, but Emi cuts me off.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it. It’s important, Hisao. And not only for your sake.”
I lean back in my seat as her words echo through my head. As much as I want to fight her on the issue, she’s absolutely correct. This time, instead of retaliating, I give her a proper response.
“I know I need to get back into a routine,” I sigh. “But after...everything that happened, it was so hard to see running as a way to clear my mind. Instead it just became an activity that dredged up bad memories. Not to mention that staying consistent is much harder without a partner.”
Emi’s brow furrows at my statement. “Well, maybe I could…” she pauses, mulling something over in her head.
“What is it?” I ask, attempting to coax the words out of her.
Instead of finishing her sentence, the woman shakes her head firmly. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want to overstep my bounds.”
As Emi says this, the storm outside begins to subside. The thunder has stopped, and all that remains is a light drizzle falling from the overcast skies. She seems to take this as her cue to leave, slowly lifting herself from my couch and turning towards the door.
I stand and follow her to the entrance, grabbing a spare umbrella on the way.
“Here, take this,” I say, extending the object to her. “It’ll actually be useful since the rain’s much lighter now.”
Emi hesitates, looking like she wants to reject the offer. However, she takes the umbrella from my hand and flashes me a polite smile.
“Thank you, Hisao.”
“You remember the way back, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it,” Emi declares, her usual cheeriness slowly returning. “I’ll...see you around, okay?”
In the back of my mind I hope not, as this encounter has brought nothing but stress.
“Of course,” I reply. “Get home safely.”
“Bye, Hisao.”
With our farewells exchanged, Emi sets off down the hall, her feet clicking lightly against the floor as she goes. I stand outside my apartment for another second before moving back inside.
Although it’s not even late yet, the events of the day have significantly drained me. After downing my requirement of pills I flop into bed, basking in the softness of the mattress and the silky sheets as they embrace me.
I can only hope that tomorrow is a better day.