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Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 4:17 pm
by Zerebos
Love the latest updated Rigatoni! Your writing style is so pleasant and comical. Akira's personality seemed pretty spot-on to me. I also enjoyed their banter about fecal matter

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:11 pm
by Mirage_GSM
CozyRavioli wrote:I don't know if you're willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, but I have put a lot of thought into where I want to take the story, ...
Given what you've written so far I certainly am.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:29 pm
by CozyRavioli
Part 3: ‘Necronomicon’

____________________________________________________________

“What do you mean you don’t want to run with me anymore?”

Well, here we go.

“It’s not that I don’t want to run with you, Emi. I don’t want to run at all. Whenever I finish my laps it feels like my chest is on fire, and not in a satisfying ‘runner’s high’ kind of way. It’s killing me,” I explain, hoping that she can tell that I’m not taking this decision lightly.

“It’s not the running that’s going to kill you, it’s refusing to run that’s going to kill you,” Emi responds sharply, in a harsh tone of voice I didn’t even know she was capable of.

She has her arms crossed in front of her and is looking at me indignantly, as if I’ve deeply, personally insulted her. I knew this would happen.

I raise both of my hands up to shoulder height and walk backwards a few steps, as if I was retreating from an armed robber. I’m still covered in sweat and breathing heavily from our run. I felt that it might have softened the blow if I had at least completed this morning’s exercise session before breaking the news to her. Needless to say, that plan has backfired severely. If anything, I’ve put myself at more of a disadvantage because I can’t catch my breath well enough to voice my thoughts as eloquently as I’d like to.

“Emi, I appreciate all that you’ve done for me and I like hanging out with you, but if I keep runn—”

“What is it with all of you people who have heart problems? First Rika, now you. You do know that if you don’t exercise regularly you’re going to really regret it eventually, right? Right? What are you thinking?” Now her arms are outstretched almost pleadingly, and she’s looking at me so incredulously you’d think I had just said I was considering setting myself on fire.

I don’t know who this Rika person is, but it’s clear that this isn’t the first time someone has opted to not partake in Emi’s training. I feel awful, but Akira is right, I can’t keep torturing myself every morning out of fear that I may hurt Emi’s feelings.

“I am going to exercise, Emi, I just need something less intensive or I’m going to pass out on the track one of these days. I’m not in as good shape as you,” I respond, trying carefully to defuse this situation. I wish she wouldn’t take this so personally.

At this, she shuts her eyes tight and turns away from me. She’s not moving at all, save her trembling, clenched fists. Wait a minute, is she going to punch me? I had better back away further before she-

“It’s fine, Hisao. Forget about it,” she says… cheerily? She’s turned back to face me now and has reassumed her usual, ebullient nature. I could have sworn that she was just furious with me not fifteen seconds ago.

“I, uh, really? Are you sure?” I ask cautiously.

“Yeah, totally. It’s no big deal; you do whatever you feel is right.” There’s the smallest hint of passive-aggressiveness in her voice, and the look in her bright green eyes betrays the otherwise cheerful disguise she’s put on. I can see now that she’s being insincere, and that somehow hurts way more than when she was just yelling at me. This is the kind of reaction one would expect from a disappointed parent.

“Look, Emi, you’ve been a good friend to me from the moment I arrived here. I really hope that this doesn’t come between u-.”

“I still have to finish my laps, Hisao. Maybe we can get a rain check on this conversation?” she interrupts, bouncing up and down on her running blades, clearly eager to get going, and likely equally eager for me to leave.

“…Yeah, alright. I’ll see you around?” I ask hopefully.

“Yep,” she states curtly.

Before I can attempt to finish our conversation on better terms, she rockets away at full speed and begins to circle the track. She’s going faster than I’ve ever seen her run before. During our runs she must have been purposely going slower than usual in order to keep an eye on me. Or maybe anger is just a powerful motivator.

I’m not happy about what just transpired at all, but standing here dumbfounded will only serve to worsen the state of things, so I may as well begin walking over to the Nurse’s office. Before I can even reach the chain link exit of the track, Emi has already completed one lap and passes right by me, pointedly avoiding eye contact.

Prior to going back inside the school, I lean up against the same brick wall I had rested against after my little episode last Saturday. Maybe this spot can be my designated ‘Emi suffering zone.’ After taking a few moments to mull over what just happened and how I could have possibly avoided it, I exhale deeply and push the door open to go back inside.

Ladies of Yamaku:1, Hisao:0


*******


I hate the smell of these hallways.

I consider myself to be a tidy person. I like my things to be kept well-organized and I appreciate cleanliness, but my time in the hospital taught me that there’s such a thing as too clean. The interior of the school often smells of various cleaning materials and all of the floors and walls are kept pristine, I think I would prefer it if it felt more lived in.

Much like the hospital and its patients, I’m sure that the academy needs to be extremely mindful of hygiene due to the multitude of different illnesses present in the student body. I’d wager that there are at least a few students who have very poor immune systems, or are more prone to infections than others. Just because it’s justified doesn’t mean I have to like it though. The atmosphere here always feels overly sterile and synthetic, like we’re being kept in a giant cage for lab rats.

It could just be that I’m in a bad mood because of my little spat with Emi. Akira said that she wants me to patch things up with at least two of my acquaintances by tomorrow afternoon. Out of all of them, I had thought that Emi would be the easiest one to win over, but now even she’s angry with me. I had anticipated disappointment, sure, maybe one of her signature pouts at most, but I didn’t expect outright contempt. If I can’t get along with the nicest, most sociable girl in school, what hope do I have with any of the others?

If I strike out with all of them I don’t think I’ll have it in me to face Akira tomorrow. Should that come to pass maybe I just won’t show up to the Shanghai at all, never hurts to have an exit strategy. I’d rather it didn’t come to that though, even if we’ve only just met, part of me really wants to impress her for some reason.

Having reached the door to the Nurse’s office, I begin my usual routine of clearing my mind before I knock. You need to be on your toes with this guy. I’m glad that I got here before Emi did, because she would have no doubt given him an earful about my decision to stop running. At least if I’m the one to do it I’ll be here to defend myself.

“Go ahead!” he shouts from inside his office.

As I enter the room I see him sliding a beige folder into a filing cabinet to the right of his desk. He quickly closes the drawer shut and sits down in his chair.

“Ahh, good morning, Hisao. You’re a few minutes late,” he remarks, gesturing for me to also have a seat.

I give him a quick bow in response to his greeting and sit down across from him. “Yes, sorry, sir, I got caught up with Emi.”

“That’s not surprising, Miss Ibarazaki certainly runs a tight ship,” he says, casually spinning his chair around to face the wall behind him and remove his stethoscope from its wall mount, “So, are you feeling any better? Did you enjoy the festival?”

Can I honestly say that I’m feeling better? I think my morale has marginally improved, relative to the sad state that I was in the last time I was in this office. I still have the weight of the world on my shoulders, but now it seems like Akira is willing to shoulder some of the burden on my behalf. I don’t know whether or not I’ll see her again after tomorrow, or if these hangouts are just a two-time deal, but her support has still raised my spirits regardless.

“Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you,” I respond with a small smile, “As for the festival, it was definitely… eventful.”

“An event was eventful? Who would have thought? Thank you so much for all of that deep insight into your life, Nakai,” the Nurse says sarcastically, before standing up and walking around his desk to face me, “If you’re done telling me the riveting story of your adventures yesterday, you can take your shirt off and we can get this show on the road.”

I do as he asks and allow him to get to work. After going through the usual steps with the stethoscope he doesn’t look too thrilled, but he’s definitely not as upset as he was with my previous checkup.

“Well, it’s an improvement. It could be better, but I suppose it’s to be expected, seeing as you didn’t exercise Saturday or Sunday. I trust there were no complications at the track today?”

“Well… Yes and no,” I say meekly, trying to find the correct way to phrase what I want to say.

His posture straightens and his brow furrows upon hearing this. “What is it, Hisao?”

“I don’t think I want to run anymore,” I respond nervously, afraid to see his reaction.

I had expected him to be angry with me, but he looks concerned more than anything. He leans back against his desk with a thoughtful expression on his face before speaking again.

“You can’t simply stop exercising, Hisao. If you don’t keep running you’ll need to find a different way to keep active. Had you given that any thought before making this decision?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that,” I admit, sheepishly conceding to the fact that I hadn’t thought of any alternatives on my own.

“Hmm, well let me show you some of the available activities, and you let me know if any of them strike your fancy,” he offers, before flipping through multiple sheets of paper on a nearby clipboard. Eventually he finds the page that he was looking for and slides it over to me.

I pick it up and start perusing my options. Right off the bat, dancing and swimming are out of the question because I never learned how to do either. There are various sports available, but most of them involve balls flying around at high velocities, so those are automatically off the table in my case. There’s not much else that interests me, except for… hey, that might work.

My body language must have let on that I found something that interested me, because the Nurse has perked up and is looking at me intently. “Find something you like?”

“Weight lifting sounds like it might be good,” I respond enthusiastically. I’ve always been a scrawny guy, so maybe putting on some mass would help bolster my confidence.

The Nurse seems doubly, if not triply as excited as I am. “Oh, yes. That’s a brilliant idea, Hisao. I don’t know why I didn’t think to suggest that to you sooner. It just so happens that I already have the perfect routine for you to follow,” he says, rubbing his hands together.

“Really? That’s great! What kind of exercises would you have me do?”

“Oh, let’s see here”, he licks his thumb and begins rapidly flipping through the pages of a nearby booklet. “Right, so you know what a pull-up is?”

“Of course.”

“Well I’m going to have you do a modified version of that, where instead of pulling yourself up with your arms, you tie a rope around your neck and pull yourself up like that in order to strengthen your neck muscles.”

“That… sounds somewhat unorthodox, but you’re the doctor I guess.”

“Mm, nurse actually. I think to supplement this new routine I’m going to recommend a diet consisting exclusively of paint thinner and thumbtacks.”

Oh. I see what he’s doing now. Very funny.

“Okay, you’ve made your point, sir,” I groan.

“You don’t want to hear about the part where you bench press flaming swords?”

“I’d rather not, no.”

The Nurse tosses the booklet aside and drops his childish smirk in favour of his more serious, ‘we need to talk’ expression.

“Hisao, that may have sounded ridiculous, but none of that was too far off from how dangerous it would be for you to actually start lifting weights. If I were to slap you in the chest right now it might very well be enough to send you to the emergency room, and I am not a strong man. Now, can you imagine what would happen if you dropped over one hundred pounds of steel onto your chest? Even if you didn’t drop the bar, the strain of lifting something too heavy alone may be enough to set you off. I’m not trying to be too hard on you, but you won’t be at Yamaku forever and you need to start becoming more familiar with your limitations,” he advises, resting a hand on my shoulder, probably to let me know that he means well, despite his brutal honesty.

“Of course, sir, I understand. Sorry for bringing it up,” I almost whisper back at him. I hadn’t intended to speak quietly, it just came out that way. I can’t help feeling a little defeated; I still haven’t come to terms with how weak I am yet. It’s emasculating to say the least.

I only notice now that I had been staring at my shoes while he was lecturing me, so I look back up at him and see that he almost looks more dejected than I do. He’s a kind fellow, so I get the feeling that it upsets him when he can’t help out the students here with their problems.

However, after a few seconds his eyes narrow and he seemingly stares into nothing. I consider asking him if he’s alright, but before I can, he snaps his fingers and hurries back behind his desk. He reaches underneath a messy pile of papers and pulls out a spiral notebook. He opens it up and searches through it for a while before finding whatever it is that he’s looking for. His smile has found its way back onto his face now and he looks quite pleased with himself.

“Hisao, do you know where the gymnasium is?” he asks, looking back over at me curiously.

I’ve never been to the gym at Yamaku; I’m one of the many students whose condition prohibits them from participating in phys-ed at all. Still, I’ve passed by the double door entrance plenty of times and it’s clearly labeled, so finding it wouldn’t be a problem.

“Yes, I know where it is. But I can’t take part in gym class, sir. You know that.” I’m really not sure where he’s going with this.

“You still won’t be attending class, but I want you to be at the gym Wednesday regardless. Not the gym proper, mind you. Towards the back of the room there’s a pretty spacious storage area where the teacher keeps all of the mats and sporting equipment. Normally, students aren’t allowed in there, but we’ll make an exception in this instance. I’ll notify your new training partner and he’ll be meeting you there first thing in the morning,” he explains as he rests the back of his head in his hands and leans back in his chair.

“Well, what is it that we’ll be doing?”

“It’s probably best that he explains it to you, he’ll sell it better than I could ever hope to. He’s, uh… pretty passionate about it. Don’t worry though, he’s harmless. We can’t have you lifting weights, but I feel like this may serve as a happy medium.”

“First you set me up with Emi, and now this new guy as well. How do you have so many people willing to do this stuff for you?” I inquire, desperate to learn more about the otherworldly entity that is ‘The Nurse.’

“I help out a lot of people, Hisao. More often than not they’re rather appreciative and are willing to pay it forward when I come across another student that needs assistance. That’s the beauty of a place like Yamaku, all of you are in this together,” he says this as he throws his arms out to his sides, as if he were giving a speech to thousands of people, “You know, I scratch somebody else’s back, they scratch my back. I’m kind of like the Godfather of this school.”

“Wait a minute, does that mean that one day you expect me to do something for you?” I ask nervously. The Nurse isn’t the kind of guy I want to owe a favour, I feel like there’s a high chance hiding bodies would be involved.

“If a student ever comes to me asking for advice on how to seduce their science teacher, you’ll be the first one I call, trust me,” he quips, adding on one of his cheeky winks.

“One of these days I’m going to report you for sexual harassment, sir,” I sigh.

“In doing so you would expose you and your professor’s dirty little affair. How scandalous. How taboo. How erot—”

“THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, NURSE! GOODBYE!” I don’t like raising my voice, but I had to take drastic measures to drown out the filthy implications coming from his mouth. I wish they sold soap for your brain, I don’t think I’ll ever feel clean again.

As is usually the case, once I’m halfway out the door he has one last thing to say to me.

“Yoshio Mikami, by the way.”

Leaning against the doorframe, I turn back to face the Nurse. “Who? Is that the student I’m supposed to meet Wednesday?”

“No, Hisao. My name is Yoshio Mikami. For god’s sake, stop calling me ‘Nurse,’ It’s weird. I know that I ask all the students to call me 'Nurse" when I first meet them, as a formality, but have you really never gotten curious? I've mostly just been testing people—trying to see how long it would take before somebody broke and demanded to know what my name was. Why is nobody interested? Do I really scare people that much?”

I can’t explain why, but it feels wrong knowing what his real name is for some reason. It’s like I’ve accidentally stumbled across confidential government files, or made contact with an eldritch, Lovecraftian being that the human mind cannot comprehend.

“Do you… do you mind If I just keep referring to you as ‘Nurse’?”

He groans loudly and slumps down in his chair. “It’s not fair. Why do I always have to be ‘Nurse’? Does Mutou call you ‘Student’? Do you call him ‘Teacher’?”

“Well, no. It’s just…”

He sits back up and throws a sly grin my way before responding. “Yeah, you wouldn’t call him ‘Teacher’ or Mutou, would you? You probably call him ‘Daddy,’ or ‘Big Gu—”

“GOODBYENURSETHANKYOU!” I shout, this time choosing to run out of his office as fast as I can, trying to avoid creating more memories that I’ll need to repress later on.

“IT’S MIKAMI, PUNK!”


*******


“Ch-Checkmate”

“Gah, I can never see the knights coming,” I mutter, resting my head in my hands.

I’m not actually frustrated with losing; I’m not a sore loser. I’ve just started hamming it up when I lose to Hanako because it seems to amuse her, even though she tries to hide it. It’s obvious that she loves playing games, whenever we play chess it’s the closest I come to seeing her relax, it’s like she’s in her element. Rin might say that it’s ‘Hanako at her Hanako-est.’ She must have a competitive streak deep down, though she can’t be nearly as bad as Shizune is.

Come to think of it, I have no idea where Shizune was today. While the idea of confronting her does make me nervous, I was hoping to set the record straight with her after class. Unfortunately, she and Misha never showed up in the first place. If I had to make an educated guess, I suppose they must be dealing with Student Council business related to wrapping up any leftover festival affairs. Hanako had informed me that Lilly wouldn’t be joining us for lunch today either, so maybe all of the class reps need to be present, I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m quickly running out of options. I messed up my confrontation with Emi, while Lilly, Shizune, and Misha are MIA.

If Akira wants me to smooth things out with two of my friends now, then my only available choices are Hanako and Rin. Tracking Rin down may prove to be difficult as well. Knowing her, she could be anywhere. Like sleeping inside an air duct in the ceiling or hiding underneath my bed with the rest of the creatures.

If I’m to meet my friendship quota for tomorrow, then I need to be very careful not to screw up while dealing with Hanako right now. If I can get her to loosen up even a tiny bit, then I can count that as a victory. Akira had advised me that all I need to do is treat Hanako like a regular person and try to have fun with her, so that’s what I’ll do. Be confident, Hisao.

As I begin to set the pieces back up for another game, I also prepare myself for the mental game of chess that we’re about to play.

“So, Hanako, did you end up seeing any of the festival yesterday?”

“N-No…” she says, timidly tugging at the cuff of her sleeve.

Whelp, I guess that’s the end of that topic of conversation. It’s a bit frustrating when she doesn’t give me more to work with, our ‘conversations’ always end up being one-sided wars of attrition as a result. If this is what it’s like to speak with me, then it’s no wonder that I have trouble connecting with people.

All of the pieces are back in their correct spaces now. Last time I was black, so it’s my turn to go first this time. I move one of my centre pawns up two squares, standard opening for a standard guy.

Hanako chooses to move up one of her knights instead, god I hate those things. Their movements are so unpredictable sometimes.

I respond by advancing one of my bishops, while also racking my brain for something else to talk about. I’m about to say something lame about the weather, but she speaks up before I have the chance to.

“I did see the f-fireworks from my room though, th-they were very pretty,” she stammers, a slight smile forming on her face as she moves one of her pawns.

I’m pleasantly surprised that she has chosen to elaborate on her answer, so maybe being direct with her was the right approach after all. I guess I’ll continue trying this method for now.

“Yeah, it was quite the show. Were you in your room the whole day though? I’d have thought that you and Lilly would have liked to spend the day together,” I comment, moving up one of my own knights. I have no idea what to do with these things, but it’s still a smart idea to develop all of your pieces early on.

“Sh-She had to be at her booth, so I just stayed in the l-library for most of the day instead,” she answers, as she adjusts the bangs in front of her right eye.

In the beginning I never knew where to look when speaking with Hanako. It feels rude to stare at her scars, but it also feels just as rude to avoid them. I’ve found that the least awkward thing to do is to just look her directly in the eyes when we speak. Normally, I’d have trouble maintaining eye contact like that, but it’s easier than the alternative in this specific circumstance.

“Well, honestly, you probably had more fun in the library than I did at the festival. I think you made the right call.” The only things we have in common are that we both like reading and dislike most social interactions, so it feels like a good idea to relate to her on those subjects whenever I can.

Come to think of it, even though we’ve read together a few times now, I’ve never actually talked about any books with her. Maybe that could be my ticket to putting her at ease. That, and I would genuinely like to have someone to discuss literature with.

“Are you still reading the same novel I saw you with last Thursday?”

“Y-Yes, I have it here. I brought it i-in case you didn’t come,” she says, digging through the brown knapsack on the ground next to her chair. Eventually, she finds the book and hands it over to me.

There’s no art on the cover, just a black font for the title on top of a blank green background. I flip it around to look at the back and read the synopsis. Turns out that it’s a story about the assassination of an American president and the effects it had on the political climate at the time. It actually sounds very fascinating, though I hadn’t expected Hanako to read up on such a morbid topic.

“This seems interesting; I may have to pick it up from the library once you’re done with it. How are you finding it so far?” I ask, feeling the last of my awkwardness fade away. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner, I could talk about reading all day.

“It’s v-very good. My favourite part has been the different c-conspiracy theories about what happened,” she responds, straightening up in her chair slightly. She seems to have forgotten that it’s her move. Normally she jumps at the chance to pay attention to the game as opposed to speaking with me, so I must be doing something right.

“In what year did all of this happe—”

Before I can finish asking my question I hear the door to the tea room open behind me, I guess Lilly managed to make it after all. I turn around to greet h—

Uh oh.

Unless Lilly has cut her hair, dyed it blue, and tried to buy glasses to fix her blindness, this isn’t her. No, the person standing in the doorway looking crossly at me is the only person other than Akira who knows of my shameful display yesterday – Shizune Hakamichi.

I did want to speak with her, but did she have to interrupt me when things were going so well with Hanako? How does she even know that we eat lunch in here? I thought nobody else knew about this room.

She marches over to the table determinedly, gesturing wildly at me as she comes closer. I only recognize a few words though; she really overestimates my ability to understand her.

[Hisao, you — what — yesterday — I was —] she signs, before resting her hands on her hips and looking down at me expectantly.

I point with one hand to my other hand and shrug at her, to show that I have no idea what she’s saying. Obviously I get the gist of it, but I’d prefer to know everything she said before answering so that there are no misunderstandings.

She rolls her eyes at me before taking a blue pen and a notepad from my open backpack. Normally, I don’t like people touching my things without asking first, but I’m not exactly in a position to complain about it.

She slams the notepad down on the table and begins writing out her message to me. It’s ironic that the deaf, mute girl is one of the loudest people I know. Always snapping her fingers, clapping, and moving everything around so forcefully. To be fair, I can’t exactly fault her for being loud when she doesn’t even have a point of reference for what being loud really means.

I look over to Hanako and see that she has buried her face in her book and is facing away from us, toward the window. I guess she doesn’t know how to deal with this scenario, so she’s chosen to disengage from it completely. I honestly don’t blame her, given how much her timidity contrasts with Shizune’s abrasive way of carrying herself.

Hanako doesn’t speak with most students, but I imagine that she has been especially cautious with Shizune because of her and Lilly’s rivalry. Hanako and Lilly are always together, so it’s almost as if they’re on one team, and Shizune and Misha are on the opposing team, even if Hanako and Misha likely want nothing to do with the ongoing feud.

It’s probably for the best that Lilly isn’t here right now. If she walked into the tea room while Shizune was present the ensuing explosion would rival the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Shizune punctuates her sentence with an exaggerated tap of my pen, flips the notepad around and slides it across the table toward me.

‘What happened yesterday? Misha and I tried to find you, but you weren’t on the premises. Why did you run away?’

I pick up the pen and tap it on the paper a few times while I think. I had already come up with a somewhat decent excuse before leaving my room this morning, but I need to make sure that I word it so that it’s believable. Once I’m confident that I’ve found the correct phrasing, I begin writing down my response and slide the pad back over to her once I’ve finished.

‘I got some food from one of the stalls and it didn’t agree with me. You caught me right as I realized how sick I was.’

She reads it over quickly before looking back at me, likely trying to gauge whether or not I’m being truthful. I put on my best poker face and after a moment of deliberation she gives up on the stare down and goes back to writing.

‘If that’s true then you should have reported it. If someone from outside the school had also gotten sick then Yamaku would have been at fault. That was very irresponsible of you. If you were sick, then where did you go? We checked the infirmary and your room and you weren’t at either.’

I knew that she and Misha would try to track me down, but I didn’t think that they would scour the entire school looking for me. It may be a little scary, but in a strange way it’s also flattering that they went through all that trouble for me. Still, my alibi is getting flimsier by the second, so I’d better be mindful of how I answer her. I wouldn’t want to contradict myself.

‘I didn’t think to report it because I was distracted by how terrible I felt. The festival was too high-energy for me in my state, so I took a quick trip to town to buy some things to help settle my stomach. Once I got back I went to bed almost immediately, so maybe that’s why I didn’t answer the door if you stopped by my room.’

She considers this for what feels like an eternity before sighing and nodding at me. Good, she bought it.

We continue passing the pad back-and-forth for a while, exchanging small talk, before I notice that Shizune keeps stealing glances over at the chess board. It’s almost endearing how she can’t contain herself when games are nearby. The only person I know who loves games nearly as much is Hanako. I wonder which one of them would win if they were to play.

Actually… that’s an interesting thought.

I need to improve my standing with two of my friends. Two of my friends are present. Both of they are happiest when they play games, it almost seems perfect. Then again, there is the aforementioned beef with Lilly hanging in the air like a thundercloud, but she isn’t here right now. Misha is also gone, which probably puts Hanako more at ease. Misha means well, but I think her loud, in-your-face personality puts Hanako on edge.

There’s no grey area here, my plan can either go great or extremely poorly. At least if the whole thing backfires I can say that I honestly tried. This is a very risky play, but Akira did say that I need to be more confident in myself.

All’s fair in social anxiety and chess.

I stand up from my seat abruptly, causing both girls to look over at me. I move to stand beside Shizune at the side of the table and begin writing down my proposition. Shizune is reading my message as I write it, and I slowly say each word audibly as I write them down, for Hanako’s benefit.

“Hanako is… probably sick of beating me… over and over again… maybe she would enjoy… playing against… someone new?” I finish saying my sentence out loud before I’m done writing it, and I hear Hanako gasp while I write down the last few words for Shizune.

The two of them have very different reactions. Shizune looks thrilled at the idea of having a match with Hanako, but Hanako herself is looking at me as if I’d just held a knife to her throat. I half expect her to say: ‘Et tu, H-Hisao?’ Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

Either way, it’s too late to take it back now, so I set the pieces back up and gesture for Shizune to take a seat where I had been sitting previously. Shizune is playing with the white pieces so she has to go first. Admittedly, I am very curious to see her play. She has trounced me at a couple different board games, but none of them really compare to the complexity of chess.

She starts off by cracking her knuckles and then moves the pawn in front of her king one space forward. Fairly standard, just like how I play.

Hanako begins just as she did before, by moving one of her knights forward. One of her tricky, sneaky knights. I would warn Shizune how dangerous Hanako can be with those things, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.

In response to this, Shizune moves her king one space forwa— Wait, what? That’s a stupid move. I hope Shizune isn’t throwing the game for Hanako’s sake. From what Akira implied, that would likely hurt her feelings more than it would encourage her.

Hanako looks just as perplexed as I do, who the hell moves their king a space forward on their second turn? I look over to Shizune and she’s not wearing the face of someone who pities their opponent. If anything, there’s more of a competitive fire in her eyes than usual. Maybe she just doesn’t know the game as well as Hanako and I do.

Hanako chooses to move her own centre pawn two spaces forward.

Without even thinking about it Shizune moves her queen one space to the right, where her king had started. Okay, that move was even more stupid than her first, what is she playing at here? She’s wasted all of her opening moves doing this weird, pointless positioning.

This time, Hanako picks up her bishop, but looks at me hesitantly as if to ask me what Shizune is doing. I shrug my shoulders in bewilderment and Hanako sets her bishop down.

Now, Shizune moves her King down to where her queen had started. She used her first four moves to switch the positions of her king and queen, I can’t even begin to fathom what the hell she is thinki—

Shizune shoots up from her chair triumphantly, swiping her hand through the air as if she was slicing off the head of an invisible man with the edge of her palm.

Hanako and I both look at her like she’s a madwoman, because apparently she is. After seeing both of our faces she picks the notepad back up and begins giddily scribbling on it once more.

Once she’s done she slides the pad over to Hanako, who begins reading it over. I see her lip begin to quiver and I fear that she’s about to start crying because of whatever Shizune wrote down, but much to my surprise she instead fails to hold back a small giggle.
I’ve barely even seen Hanako smile, let alone laugh. My curiosity is piqued, so I pick up the pad to have a look at it myself.

‘This spells the beginning of the end for you, Ikezawa. Dare you challenge my fabled transvestite opening?’

Transvestite opening? Oh, because she switched her king and queen’s positions on the board. That’s one of the dorkiest jokes I’ve ever heard, but the fact that she wasted four of her moves just to make it is enough to make me laugh as well.

Shizune seems pleased with our reactions and holds her hand to her mouth, stifling a few silent giggles of her own before sitting back down and gesturing for Hanako to make her next move.

The rest of the game goes by fairly quickly, with Hanako winning after taking advantage of her early lead. There was no way Shizune could have won after having made such a ridiculous opening, especially given Hanako’s skill level. I’m shocked to find that Hanako looks as if she’s having a good time. She even went so far as to respond to some of Shizune’s little messages while they were playing. She must like speaking through writing, because you can’t stutter on paper.

I manage to sneak a peek at one of Shizune’s replies to her.

‘Normally I like putting myself at a disadvantage in the beginning of a match in order to give my opponent a fair shot at winning. Evidently, I underestimated you and you didn’t need the handicap. Regardless, well done, Ikezawa.’

It’s barely visible, but Hanako smiles a little while writing out her response. After reading it, Shizune nods and begins to set up the pieces once again. I guess Hanako had asked for a round two.

This time it’s Hanako’s turn to go first and she moves her leftmost pawn up one space. First Shizune, now Hanako. What in the world is going on with these openings?

Shizune is taken aback by this and raises an eyebrow before moving her centre pawn two spaces forward. Apparently she’s in the mood to play seriously now.

Now, Hanako moves her rightmost pawn one space forward. This is arguably even worse than Shizune’s first two moves. After finishing her turn Hanako writes out yet another message for Shizune.

‘It’s only fair that I make a silly opening as well.’

At this, both of them break out into the world’s quietest gigglefest yet again. It’s rather odd seeing a deaf mute and a selective mute laugh together, it feels like someone has turned down the volume on the entire room.

Seeing as Shizune is in as good a mood as I’ve ever seen her, I had better take this opportunity to refuse her invitation to join the Council. Picking up the pen and paper, I begin writing out my thoughts.

‘I’ve put a lot of thought into it and I don’t think I want to join the Student Council. The extra workload would be too much for me to handle right now. I really like hanging out with you and Misha, so I hope that we can all still be friends.’

I nudge Shizune’s shoulder with the pad and she momentarily tears her eyes away from the chessboard to read it over. After quickly scanning my message she dismissively waves her hand in front of her and begins writing what she wants to say in return.

‘I figured as much. I’ve known for days that you weren’t interested; I was just waiting for you to either buckle under the pressure and join anyway, or to grow a spine and decline the offer. Don’t worry about it, Hisao. Misha and I get things done well enough on our own anyway.’

I look back up at her from the paper to see if she really means it or if she’s faking it like Emi was, but she’s already looking excitedly back at the pieces on the board. Hanako looks equally engaged with the game herself.

I almost feel like a third wheel right now. There’s only fifteen minutes left to lunch, so maybe I’ll just leave these two to their game and get back to class early. Picking up my backpack, I wave goodbye to both of them and walk out of the room, leaving the notepad and pen behind so that they can continue conversing if they want to.

Well, I did it. That’s two of my problems solved, as was requested of me. I can’t wait to report my success to Akira tomorrow afternoon.

Ladies of Yamaku:1, Hisao:2

Hot and Cold. Sweet and Sour. Hanako and Shizune. Who would have thought?


*******
(Continued in next post)

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:29 pm
by CozyRavioli
(Continued from last post)
*******


Akira’s philosophy on that seat is contagious; I also can’t help viewing it as obnoxious now.

Instead of sitting down, I move further toward the centre of the bus and choose to stand instead. I wonder which of my new friends at Yamaku would be worthy of being offered that seat. Rin would definitely need it, seeing as she can’t hold onto the bars to keep herself upright. Though I don’t doubt that she would try to hold onto one of the hand straps with her teeth, or wrap her legs around one of the poles like some sort of disfigured stripper.

You could probably make a case for Emi as well, if people with broken legs deserve it, surely someone with no legs does too. I can’t even picture Hanako being on a public bus in the first place; it’s far too crowded for her taste. I’m not too sure about Lilly or Shizune. They may be blind and deaf, respectively, but that doesn’t prevent them from standing.

Still, aren’t they more entitled to that spot than most people are? That’s where the ethics start to blur. Yeah, I can definitely see why Akira hates that chair.

The remainder of yesterday went by without any further issues. I finished my afternoon classes, went back to my room, made myself some supper, had a debate with Kenji about whether or not the female breast is secretly a venom sac and went to bed. So, thankfully, the damage report I have to give Akira will only pertain to my argument with Emi. Still, messed up with one friend, fixed things with two. That’s a net profit of one disabled girl.

As I step off of the bus I thank the driver and tell him to have a nice day, most people are way too impolite with bus drivers. It’s typically a thankless job and they have to deal with a lot of despicable people in their day to day lives. Despite the thin, grey hair and dark circles under his eyes making him look miserable, he offers an unexpectedly warm smile in return and tells me to have a good day as well.

The Shanghai is relatively close to the bus stop, so it doesn’t take too long for me to walk over there. Pushing open the door to the entrance, I hear the now familiar bell chime and I wait to be greeted by a server.

Today marks my third visit to this café and for the first time, I’m met by someone other than Yuuko. I guess even she gets some days off, however rare they may be. This new waitress seems to be the exact opposite of Yuuko. She’s wearing an excessive amount of eyeliner, has a piercing in her lower lip, and rather than looking nervous, she just looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here. Part of me sympathizes with her; working at the Shanghai must be incredibly dull due to the lack of consistent clientele. She lazily welcomes me and is about to show me to a table when she is cut short by a familiar voice bellowing from across the room.

“It’s alright, he’s with me!”

I look over to my right and her messy, blonde hair almost acts like a beacon, allowing me to spot her instantly. Good, she is here. Part of me was worried that she was just bluffing about coming today and that she’d blow me off at the last minute. For a moment I think that she hasn’t changed her clothes since I last saw her, which would be gross, but upon closer inspection I can see that this suit doesn’t have any stripes on it, and that her tie is red instead of black today.

Maybe I spent too much time looking at her, because she claps her hands and whistles loudly at me. “Come on. Here, boy. You can do it!”

Between her and Mikam— The Nurse, I’m starting to get sick of all these adults picking on me. I thought people were supposed to grow out of this kind of thing after they graduate high school. I’m unable to hide the blush creeping onto my face, so I just turn to look away from her as I approach her table, the same table where we spoke on Sunday.

“Good boy! I would give you a treat, but I left all of my bones in garbage bags at the bottom of the ocean,” she says as she casually waves at me.

“Good afternoon, Akira,” I respond, awkwardly shoving my hands in my pants pockets. I never know what to do with my hands, so hiding them in my trousers is preferable to leaving them hanging at my side like an ape.

“Well? Have a seat already, or were you waiting for me to be a gentleman and pull your chair out for you?” she asks, pointing at the seat across from her. I assume that’s a rhetorical question, but I don’t want to risk it.

“Nonono, that’s alright,” I stammer out, as I quickly plop down into the chair. Smooth, Hisao.

“Ha, you get flustered too easily; we’ll have to work on that.” She takes a sip from her coffee. I notice that she drinks her coffee black, which is another peculiar quirk of hers. Most women I know dump so much cream and sugar in their coffee that it essentially becomes liquid candy. “So, why are you so late?”

“Huh? I’m not late. This is when we had agreed to meet up,” I protest, holding my wrist toward her to show her my watch.

“Well yeah, but I got here early. You’re late to being early. In the business world you need to make sure to be at all appointments at least a half-hour in advance if you want to come across as professional,” she states, absentmindedly circling her finger around the rim of her mug.

“Yeah, well, I’m not in the business world,” I retort, resting my elbows on the table.

“Fair.”

“Besides, I would have been here sooner, but with the bus schedule the way it is I couldn’t have gotten here earlier even if I wanted to.”

“Hmph, hate buses,” she sneers, repeating her mantra from the other day when I first met her.

“Yeah, hate buses,” I echo back at her.

She nudges forward a second cup of coffee that I hadn’t seen, obscured as it was behind the stand-up food menu. “This is yours, by the way.”

“Oh… Thank you, but what would you have done with it if I didn’t show up?” I ask, taking a sip of the coffee and relishing the feeling of the warm liquid sliding down my throat.

“Drink it? I could chug an entire gallon of this stuff and still sleep like a baby. Caffeine has never really affected me, I just like the taste. My sister keeps trying to make me switch to tea, but I can’t stand the stuff.”

That’s interesting; I never really pegged Naomi for a tea drinker. “Yeah, I don’t really like it all that much either.”

We continue to chat for a while, about my schoolwork and her job. There’s some legal terminology that goes over my head, but I can still understand enough of what she’s saying to keep up. From the sounds of it, she’s a very valuable asset to have if you’re in need of a lawyer. When Kenji inevitably gets caught on indecent exposure charges I’ll be sure to recommend her to him.

After a while, I glance down at my watch again and see that several hours have passed. Time really flies when I’m with Akira; she has a way of making me feel relaxed. Maybe she spiked my coffee with something to sedate me.

I think she notices me looking at the time and she smacks her hand against her forehead. “Gah, dammit. Sorry, kid, for a second there I forgot why we were here in the first place. How did things go with Hisao’s Angels yesterday?”

“ ‘Hisao’s Angels’?” If we were meant to communicate in code words, she could have warned me first.

“You know, like Charlie’s Angels? TV show? Mystery man who’s in charge of a group of women who are secret agents?”

“Uhh, I don’t…”

“You seriously don’t know Charlie’s Angels?”

“No?”

‘Charlie’ is an American name, why would she just assume that I’m familiar with Western television shows? I mean, I would like to watch more of them, but everything that gets sent over here gets dubbed over in Japanese, and I refuse to listen to anything other than the original voices. Everyone knows subtitles are clearly superior.

“God, you suck.” She covers her face with her hands in frustration. “I should lend you some of my DVDs or something; you need to be educated, boy.”

I’m not used to being told that I ‘suck,’ so I have trouble coming up with a response to that last statement. Instead I choose to fill her in on how it went with ‘Hisao’s Angels.’

I tell her all about my day yesterday, starting off with what had happened with Emi, just to get the bad stuff out of the way first. Reliving that part doesn’t feel too great, but my mood picks back up once I let her know that I have arranged a new training regimen with the Nurse’s help. She also seems especially impressed by my daring chess escapades with Shizune.

She lauds my efforts with an enthusiastic thumbs up and a big toothy grin. “Well, you made things right with the shy gal and Madame Hakamichi, so good job. Shame about your former running partner though. What was it that she said, again?”

“She said ‘It’s fine, forget about it.’ ”

Akira inhales sharply and makes a strange hissing noise with her teeth. “Yeesh, in lady language, ‘It’s fine, forget about it’ actually means: ‘Things are not fine, and you should be worried.’ ”

“ ‘Lady language’?” Kenji had told me that women had their own secret language, but I didn’t believe him, I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.

“Yeah, I may not speak it myself, but I’m still fluent in it. Maybe you said something to her that you shouldn’t have? Maybe your body language was off-putting?”

“I’m not really sure; I can never tell if I’m saying the right thing. I’ve learned everything I know about life through books and lessons. Schools never teach courses on how to interact with others or how to conduct yourself in social settings, so I’ve always been rather hopeless in that regard, as you’ve no doubt noticed by now. I got by well enough at my old school because I was eased into it, but with Yamaku I’ve just been running around like a chicken with its head lobbed off.”

I finish up the last of my coffee and rest the empty mug back down before continuing.

“It’s like, science is easy. Math is easy, you know? There are concrete, definitive answers to any problem you may have. If you read up on either of those subjects enough, eventually you will come to understand them more. There’s only right or wrong, no maybe, no uncertainty. People aren’t like that; everyone is different so there’s no way to study them. If there was a magical book that could teach me how to deal with people then I would be fine, but that kind of book doesn’t exist.”

She considers what I said, looking down at the table and drumming her fingers on the surface. After a moment she picks her suitcase up off the floor and props it up on the table. It takes her a second to open it because there’s a combination on the clasp. I always thought that having a suitcase made you a big shot, but now I’m thinking that having a suitcase with a lock on it must make you even more of a big deal. I wonder what kind of stuff she has in there to warrant locking up the contents like that.

I’m not left wondering for too long, because once she opens it up, she pulls out a small black book and a pen. A jet-black fountain pen with gold accents to be specific, ‘Akira’ is engraved on the side.

She holds out the book, shaking it back-and-forth as she speaks, “Luckily for you, I currently have such a book in my possession. It’s yours if you want it.”

“Wait, really? You think this can help me?” I doubt that she would just happen to have a book on such a specific subject on her at all times, especially when she clearly has no issues dealing with people herself.

“I think so, yeah,” she says, tossing the book toward me.

I didn’t expect her to throw it at me like that, so I fumble with it a bit, but manage not to drop it. I can’t hold back my curiosity any longer and I begin flipping through the pages, but…

“It’s empty. There’s nothing in here,” I observe, looking back over at her confusedly.

“Well yeah, that’s because we haven’t written it yet,” she responds, flicking the black and gold pen, causing it to roll across the table over toward me.

I hastily grab it before it rolls off the edge and stare back at her with both objects in my hands, still not quite sure what she’s implying.

“You religious, Hisao?”

I think back to my embarrassing experiment the other day that resulted in Kenji killing a large amount of my brain cells by slamming my bedroom door against my head. “No, definitely not.”

“I was hoping you’d say that, otherwise you might consider this next part blasphemous.” She places one hand in her pocket and uses her other hand to point at the leather book in my hands. “That right there is your new bible, ‘The Book of Akira,’ ” she says this as she looks upwards theatrically, as if she were gazing into the heavens themselves.

The Book of Akira.

“Are you… serious?”

“Dead serious. You wanted rules; I’m going to give you rules. When I tell you to write something down, you do so, no questions asked. Once that book is filled up, you’ll have yourself a comprehensive strategy guide on how to beat the game of life. Y’know, tips from someone who’s already won. The keys to the kingdom, as it were.”

“I don’t—”

“RULE NUMBER ONE!” she proclaims, holding her right index finger upwards, “ ‘Akira is the best.’ Go on; write it down like a good little scribe.”

“Really?”

“I told you, no questions. If you’re going to be taking my advice you first need to recognize that I know what I’m talking about. You only want to learn from the best, ergo, I’m the best. That, and I like stroking my ego.” She puts on an exaggerated air of self-importance and turns her nose upwards smugly as she tells me this. I’m pretty sure she’s joking, but who knows at this point.

This is kind of ridiculous, but I’ll play along if it means that she’ll keep helping me. My penmanship is rusty, but I still try to spell it out in as nice a cursive as I can manage. When you’re writing in an expensive looking book with an expensive looking pen, it feels wrong to write sloppily.

Once I’ve finished writing down Akira’s first rule, I turn the book over and show it to her. She has a bit of a laugh when she sees it and claps her hands together, clearly pleased with herself. “Oh man, this is kind of fun. I never want to have kids, so it’s nice having a protégé of sorts to pass my knowledge on to. Other than my sis, I mean.”

Never wants kids, huh? I suppose I don’t either, but I haven’t put any real thought into it yet, I’m way too young to be thinking about that kind of thing. “So, how old are you, Akira?”

She visibly winces and slumps down in her chair slightly. “Oof. Kid. You never ask a lady her age. That’ll be rule number two, write that down.”

I can feel my face turn beet-red, so I turn my attention downwards and begin speedily scribbling down the second rule. “S-Sorry, I didn’t know.”

She straightens back up right away and begins laughing once more. “Relax, dweeb. I’m twenty-five. Even though most chicks shy away from the question, I can assure you that I don’t give a damn about my age; I was just busting your balls. Like I said the other day, you need to be more confident. Girls dig that sorta thing, and it’ll make guys respect you. That can be our third and final rule for now.”

I hadn’t finished writing down the second rule, so I pick up the pace and quickly jot down both of them before closing the book.

We continue chatting for a few more hours, and unfortunately, there are no fireworks this time to warn me of how late it’s gotten. It’s only when I take a glance outside and notice that it’s almost pitch-black out that I begin to panic. Once again I had completely lost track of time. Talking and joking around with Akira is almost hypnotizing, I need to start setting an alarm on my phone when we hang out or something.

I quickly stand up and throw some money on the table to cover all of my drinks, there should be some change left over, but I don’t have time to collect it. I thank Akira for helping me again and explain that I need to run to catch my bus or I’ll miss curfew. As I’m halfway to the exit I hear her speak up again.

“Listen, how about I give you a ride back to school?” she offers, now also standing up from the booth.

“I don’t know…” Admittedly, that would be nice, but isn’t that weird? This is only the second time we’ve hung out and she’s seven years older than me.

I think she can see the reluctance on my face and rolls her eyes at me. “What, did mommy teach you to never get in cars with strangers? Look, the only reasons an adult would have to kidnap a high schooler are either to molest them or murder them and harvest their organs. So, first of all, I already have a boyfriend and don’t need to sexually assault anyone. Secondly, no offence, but I doubt your heart would catch a high price on the black market. Besides, you’re taller than me, so if it came down to it you could probably take me in a fight… maybe. So are we good to go or what?”

“It’s not anything like that, it’s ju—”

“Unless you would rather take the bus.” She shrugs, picking up her suitcase.

Okay, she got me there. “Yeah, I’ll take that ride thanks.”

“Was that so hard?” she asks as she passes by me and goes through the exit. She holds the door open with her foot and beckons for me to pass through as well. “M’Hisao.”

I chuckle lightly at her stupid joke as I make my way through the door and begin walking over to her car. “Do you really need to keep treating me like I’m a girl?”

“Stop acting like one and I’ll stop treating you like one, pointdexter,” she retorts, smacking me softly against the back of my head.

She twirls her keychain around her index finger a few times and presses a button in the centre, causing the doors to unlock. She strolls over to the driver’s side and slides into the vehicle, smacking her hand twice against the roof of the car as she enters.

I almost sit in the back, but that’s way too weird, even I know that. She’s my friend, not my nanny.

Huh… I suppose she is my friend now, isn’t she?

Before entering through the passenger side door I open up ‘The Book of Akira’ one last time and read back what I have written down so far, from the bottom to the top.

Rule #3: Be confident.
Rule #2: Don’t ever ask women how old they are. (IMPORTANT)
Rule #1: Akira is the best ツ


Yeah, that sounds about right.

__________________________
Previous part/ Next part

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:17 am
by azumeow
Alright, yeah, I'm hooked.

God dammit, I have too much shit to read and play and do. Why can't I have some rich, long-lost uncle die and leave me an inheritance of a fuckload of dollars?

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:24 am
by Mirage_GSM
Why does nobody EVER ask me for my name?"
Maybe because he tells everyone just to call him "nurse" when they first meet him?
Unfortunately, her and Misha never showed up in the first place.
"she and Misha"
I mean, I would LIKE to watch more of them but everything that gets sent over here gets dubbed over in Japanese, and I REFUSE to listen to anything other than the original voices. Everyone knows subtitles are clearly superior.
Says the one who could barely stutter out an english greeting to Akira's mom in the VN...
but I still try to spell it out in as nice a cursive as I can manage
Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...

Really like your Akira - as well as the story as a whole of course :-)

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:24 pm
by Hans PK
Mirage_GSM wrote: Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...
You can. Cursive kanji range from illegible to completely illegible to "possibly legible to people who have a specialist's knowledge of kanji but it's not a sure deal". It's great.

Regarding the fan-fic: not bad. I like the characters, the humor, and the novel characterization of the fabled Master of Romance. You've already thoroughly distinguished it from the existing pseudo-route, and I look forward to seeing where it goes. My biggest complaints are minor niggles regarding grammar, so nothing serious.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:34 am
by Mirage_GSM
Hans PK wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote: Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...
You can. Cursive kanji range from illegible to completely illegible to "possibly legible to people who have a specialist's knowledge of kanji but it's not a sure deal". It's great.
Well, yes, but that's not exactly the same as what we understand as "cursive". It's more like kalligraphy.
And I seriously doubt Hisao is the type to be able - or inclined - to do that.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:58 am
by Hesmiyu
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Hans PK wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote: Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...
You can. Cursive kanji range from illegible to completely illegible to "possibly legible to people who have a specialist's knowledge of kanji but it's not a sure deal". It's great.
Well, yes, but that's not exactly the same as what we understand as "cursive". It's more like kalligraphy.
And I seriously doubt Hisao is the type to be able - or inclined - to do that.
Who knows, maybe he was Broken Sword from H
Jet Li's Heroe in a past life :P

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:54 am
by CozyRavioli
azumeow wrote:Alright, yeah, I'm hooked.

God dammit, I have too much shit to read and play and do. Why can't I have some rich, long-lost uncle die and leave me an inheritance of a fuckload of dollars?
Well, if you do ever find that rich uncle I'll be happy to take care of him on your behalf so that the government doesn't suspect you when they investigate his death.

I'm happy you like the story, azucatnoise. Thanks

Mirage_GSM wrote:Maybe because he tells everyone just to call him "nurse" when they first meet him?
Dang. I'll reword that encounter when I edit.
Mirage_GSM wrote: Says the one who could barely stutter out an english greeting to Akira's mom in the VN...
That subtitles thing was meant to be a lighthearted joke at English folks who insist on watching japanese shows and movies with the original audio, except it's obviously the inverse in Hisao's case. If it's too out of place I don't mind removing it.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...
I didn't know if you could, so I looked it up prior to writing that part. Everything I found said that multiple forms of cursive Kanji exist so I took that at face value. If the cursive thing doesn't make sense then maybe I'll just change the narration to imply that he wrote it extremely neatly instead.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Really like your Akira - as well as the story as a whole of course :)
Thanks, glad you like it despite the hiccups.

Hans PK wrote:Regarding the fan-fic: not bad. I like the characters, the humor, and the novel characterization of the fabled Master of Romance. You've already thoroughly distinguished it from the existing pseudo-route, and I look forward to seeing where it goes. My biggest complaints are minor niggles regarding grammar, so nothing serious.
Yeah, expect even more niggles down the road. I read over the chapter a million times before posting and still couldn't catch everything. You should have seen the state it was in before I fixed it up. At any rate, I'm glad you liked it so far. Thank you

Hesmiyu wrote:Who knows, maybe he was Broken Sword from H
Jet Li's Heroe in a past life
I guess that would make Akira Flying Snow then?

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:56 pm
by Mirage_GSM
That subtitles thing was meant to be a lighthearted joke at English folks who insist on watching japanese shows and movies with the original audio, except it's obviously the inverse in Hisao's case. If it's too out of place I don't mind removing it.
I get the joke, but maybe it would work better if the line was Akira's, because Hisao couldn't understand an english dub if his life depended on it...

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:44 pm
by Hans PK
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Hans PK wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote: Not sure if you can write cursive Kanji...
You can. Cursive kanji range from illegible to completely illegible to "possibly legible to people who have a specialist's knowledge of kanji but it's not a sure deal". It's great.
Well, yes, but that's not exactly the same as what we understand as "cursive". It's more like kalligraphy.
And I seriously doubt Hisao is the type to be able - or inclined - to do that.
That depends. Calligraphy is usually taught in elementary and middle school, and it's unusual not to incorporate at least a few elements of calligraphy into handwriting. I could see him trying to impress Akira in that scene by making his characters more fluid than normal.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 1:06 pm
by QuietlySomething
Alright Coze, I got to reading this and unsurprisingly, you are very funny. The sense of humor about it makes this fic charming to read.

I have to say though that there is so much snark in the narration that it really doesn't feel like Hisao to me. It's hard to get comfortable with, like a lot of times I'll read lines and just think that I really can't picture Hisao saying that at all. He's not quite so frank or irreverent.

That said, on the other hand, the style fits Akira quite nicely and as the story goes on it will only get more natural for Hisao to act the way he does.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:50 pm
by Mirage_GSM
QuietlySomething wrote:I have to say though that there is so much snark in the narration that it really doesn't feel like Hisao to me. It's hard to get comfortable with, like a lot of times I'll read lines and just think that I really can't picture Hisao saying that at all. He's not quite so frank or irreverent.
That really depends on the route. In Emi's route there is quite a lot of snark in Hisao; in other routes not so much.
So I don't really have a problem with this version of Hisao - except for those already stated in my previous comments.

Re: The Akira-te Kid - An Akira Satou Fan Route

Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 9:06 pm
by QuietlySomething
Mirage_GSM wrote:That really depends on the route. In Emi's route there is quite a lot of snark in Hisao; in other routes not so much.
So I don't really have a problem with this version of Hisao - except for those already stated in my previous comments.
I agree that there's a level of flexibility in Hisao's personality between the routes, but even in Emi's I don't think he ever really adopts an overall sort of comedic tone like he has here. It reads to me as a little off.