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I wanted to do something a bit different this Halloween, so, ladies, gentlemen, mages, mole people, and others, I present to you:

Hisao and Kenji and the Last Samurai!

Table of Contents:
Chapter One: Deathwatch (This Post)
Chapter Two: Black Crusade
Chapter Three: Space Hulk Part II
Chapter Four: Necromunda Part II
Chapter Five: Dark Heresy Part II
Chapter Six: Only War
Epilogue: Age of Sigmar

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
- Hamlet, Hamlet

Chapter One: Deathwatch

After spilling my metaphorical guts like I have been, describing the many oddities I've encountered over the years, I imagine people might presume that my university experience was relatively relaxed and normal, the occasional monkey attack and bull chase notwithstanding.

For the most part they'd be right, but, every once in a while, even in my naive youth, something happened that went way past normal. Most of the time my life was pretty mundane, but occasionally something came along that could have bitten the head off of Ozzy's bat, boarded the crazy train, and rode it off the rails, and even back then the company I kept ensured I’d be strapped in for the ride.

This particular story began in August, not long after the road trip to Tokyo. Kenji Setou and I sought to settle a debt he had incurred securing our ride for the aforementioned road trip; the Ford station wagon we had used for the adventure belonged to my lab partner, Oji Homma, who, for reasons that I’m sure made perfect sense to him, was a member of the school’s occult club.

It sounded simple enough; in exchange for borrowing the car, Kenji agreed to help Oji go ghost hunting in the science building. I was dragged along for the ride both because even though the road trip was Kenji’s idea, the purpose of the trip had been for my at the time girlfriend Hanako, and because I had keys to get around most of the science building since I was, according to Kenji at least, my chemistry professor's pet student.

So during the night of a full moon before the end of summer break, lucky me got to go play ghost hunter with my favorite conspiracy theorist and my stoner lab partner. Between them and the occult club members, the night promised to be mildly entertaining at best, and incredibly annoying at worst. I was understandably less than thrilled as Oji, Kenji, and I headed away from the relative safety of our dorms to meet the occult club members outside the library, which was one of the few university buildings that remained open so late.

It was a clear, warm summer night. Oji, his scraggly brown hair held back with a tie-dye bandana, led the way to the library, giving me and Kenji the chance to do what we do best: bitch and moan about how we were the last sane men in an insane world.

“I don’t like this,” Kenji grumbled, his glasses reflecting the lights from the passing lampposts as we walked, “This is the kind of bullshit that happens in bad slasher movies.”

“You love those bad slasher movies,” I stated, to which he reluctantly nodded. “And, yes, that’s the problem with this scenario,” I rolled my eyes and continued, “Not the bit about using a professor’s trust in me to wander aimlessly through a building with dangerous chemicals, listening for feedback that we can label a haunting.”

“The occult club doesn’t roll that way,” Oji said, glancing back at us with one eye, “You two really need to chill.”

“Yeah,” Kenji snorted, rolling his eyes again, “Sure. Chill.”

Oji sighed and turned to look ahead. “Some things never change,” he grumbled, glancing back at me. Squinting, he grinned. “Then again, some things do.”

My face suddenly felt hot against the chill night air, and I reached for my chest, tapping at the ring dangling from a necklace under my argyle sweater-vest and smiling as I replied, “Seems so....”

Oji chuckled and turned to look ahead again. “Which reminds me,” he said, “you have a chance to ride with Hanako yet?”

“Not yet,” I replied, “Hana’s not really used to the Indian yet, and there’s no way she could focus on riding with me behind her right now. Besides,” I tapped my sternum lightly, “I doubt riding bitch is good for my condition.”

Kenji grinned and joked, “I'd pay good yen to hear Hanako say ‘get on the bike, bitch’.”

Scratching my chin thoughtfully, I tried to imagine Hana in a biker outfit doing just that. In my head it came out “G-get on the b-bike, b-bitch”, and was more adorable than cool. Instead of saying anything, I just snorted and shook my head. That had been one weird road trip, but it was well worth having to wander around an empty building for a few hours with some kooks.

As we got closer to the library, two human shapes slowly coalesced into view. They were both women, one tall with long black hair, a long skirt and polo shirt, her arms folded across her chest in apparent impatience. Her companion was noticeably shorter, with shoulder length auburn hair and a camping vest and cargo pants loaded with pockets. She was leaning awkwardly against a lamppost, presumably because of the large backpack hanging from her shoulders, with her eyes closed as she apparently awaited our arrival by taking a nap.
When we got closer, Kenji growled and faltered for a step, but quickly rallied and continued walking – he was still skittish around women back then. Let no one say that he hadn’t changed from his high school days, although whether it was for the better is probably a matter of opinion.

Still, I saw no reason not to poke some fun, so I glanced at my wary friend and half-whispered, “Think they’re Illuminati?”

Kenji glared somewhere in my general direction and said nothing.

“Chill, dudes,” Oji stated, “They’re cool.”

“You think everyone’s cool!” Kenji snapped.

Oji shrugged and waved to the two women. The taller of the two waved back and elbowed her friend, who shook herself upright and slowly opened her eyes.

“Hey, Oji!” the taller one called, “I see you pulled through with the backup!”

“A Homma always keeps his word,” Oji declared.

The taller woman rolled her eyes and gave me and Kenji a quick glance over. The other woman did the same, her eyes still a bit sleep-filled.

Once we were close enough for proper conversation, Oji gestured toward me and spoke, “These are my friends. Hisao Nakai,” he then pointed at Kenji, “...and Kenji Setou.”

The sleepy woman’s eyes lit up and she took a step forward. “The Kenji Setou that writes for the newspaper?” she asked.

Kenji raised a wary eyebrow and inquired, “Who wants to know?”

The woman tilted her head, blinking. “I do.”

“And you are?” Kenji prompted, narrowing his eyes behind the lamppost’s reflecting light.

Still looking confused, the woman replied, “Shinobu Komichi. I’m the occult club secretary, and I’m a huge fan of your writing – you’re like the Jon Stewart of the university!”

I mentally apologized to Jon Stewart in my head as the taller woman smirked and rolled her eyes.

“Well…” Kenji seemed a little nonplussed that Komichi was a fan, rather than an assassin sent by one of the many groups he had been pissing off on-campus. Recovering with a snort, he continued, “Always glad to meet someone willing to fight off the insanity of the world and embrace the truth,” he turned toward the tall girl, “Who’s your friend?”

“I’m Isami Inokuma,” the taller woman, who was only a centimeter or three shorter than me, replied, “I’m the president of the occult club. Nice to meet you two.”

“Same here,” I said, “Oji says you two know what you’re doing, so hopefully we won’t accidentally set the science building on fire,” I narrowed my eyes at Oji, “Again.”

“That was one time, man!” Oji groaned, “Let it go.”

“No,” I declared, “I liked that vest, and now it's gone forever.”

“Never forget,” Kenji stated, “Never forgive.”

Komichi turned to Kenji. “That sounds a bit harsh, Setou-san.”

“He’s quoting a wargame,” Inokuma stated.

Kenji nodded, “Yep. Oh, and call me Kenji.”

The woman’s eyes lit up and she smiled. “Okay!” she beamed, “Call me Shino, please.”

Inokuma coughed into her hand and gestured off into the distance. “So now that we’re all familiar and friendly, any chance we can get a move on?”

“The night is young, but not forever,” I said with a nod, then turned toward Inokuma and added, “Oh, and just for my piece of mind, please tell me you got permission to snoop around from the Department Head?”

Rolling her eyes, Inokuma reassured me, “Of course. We wouldn’t be going if I hadn’t.”

“Good,” I said, smirking at Kenji, “See, that’s what we call being courteous and responsible.”

“I am responsible!” Kenji snorted, “I'm responsible for making sure the sheeple hear the truth before their minds are too far gone, because I can't save the world from the Illuminati alone!”

Rubbing my temple, I sighed inwardly; it was going to be one of those kinds of nights, I just knew it.

“Guys,” Oji piped up, “Isami is leaving.”

Lowering my hand, I observed as the occult club president disappeared into the darkness, headed for the science building. Her pace didn't falter as she passed under another lamp, as she was apparently too eager – or impatient – to wait for us. With a groan, Shino trotted after her, the contents of her pockets and backpack clunking along as she went. Glancing at the two of us, Oji sighed and followed suit.

Giving a long, perhaps overly dramatic sigh, I glanced at Kenji. “This is gonna be a long night, ain’t it?”

Kenji smirked and watched the two women. “They usually are.”

Shaking my head haplessly, I started after the other three. “I was afraid of that....”
+++
Next Chapter

Like, zoinks, it looks like Hisao is up to some shenanigans again.

Hmm, I feel a theme song coming on…

H-Hisao Nakai, where are you?
We got some work to do now.
H-Hisao Nakai, where are you?
Kenji needs some help from you now.

Come on Hisao Nakai, we need you,
Stop grasping at your che-est,
Because Hana can clearly see,
You really are the be-est.

You know we got a mystery to solve
So the time has come to act (don’t hold back!)
If you do you’ll come through…
Just make sure you don’t have a heart attack!

H-Hisao Nakai, where are you?
Kenji is ready and willin’
We can count on both of you (yes we do),
To always catch the villain.

(The rhyming only works if you pronounce Hisao’s names as two syllables each, fyi.)

I would also like to take this chance to thank Helbereth for editing this story and making it actually readable. Unfortunately, He is also busy defending New England from the zombie horde, and –aim for the head Ilya!- and so some chapters might be delayed/not edited. The plan is for a Halloween Double Feature, but we’ll see how sober/edited/not zombified I am by –crap you alerted the witch! Shoot her! SHOOOOT HEERRRRRR!

...Anyway, have fun, and don't get eaten!

Dude, what happened to the formatting?

Helbereth wrote:Dude, what happened to the formatting?

D'oh!

The copy/pasting I do between your emails, the open word doc, and the word doc with the actual story in it creates a lot of random formatting bits that I just can't get rid of for some reason. Apparently those bits found their way into the copy/paste from the word doc to the forum, which is... weird.

I fixed it, and I'll be on the lookout for that in the future. WCS, I run everything through notepad to cleanse it.

Sorry 'bout that folks, everything is fine! Nothing is broken! Except maybe my apprentice... (stupid witch....)

giving Kenji and I chance

"Kenji and me"
Also choose an article.

Oh, and you're the reason I look forward to Halloween every year

Mirage_GSM wrote:

giving Kenji and I chance

"Kenji and me"
Also choose an article.

I'll take "the" for 200, Alex .

Oh, and you're the reason I look forward to Halloween every year

Well, I thank you, good sir, and tip my hat to you as well.

I'll have you know I play no small part in Hoitash's Halloween fame! Not that I'm bitter...

Helbereth wrote:I'll have you know I play no small part in Hoitash's Halloween fame! Not that I'm bitter...

Indeed. Helbereth is an integral part of the Halloween experience! He courageously takes time from his busy day of zombie fighting and Illuminati research to make my inane ramblings, both here and in the real world (eventually hopefully soon not that I'm being passive aggressive or anything), readable literature of quality.

Or at least readable. Go Team Venture!

Helbereth wrote:I'll have you know I play no small part in Hoitash's Halloween fame! Not that I'm bitter...

I'll look forward to Christmas because of you

Mirage_GSM wrote:I'll look forward to Christmas because of you

Just take care to note that I did say not to get your hopes up.

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault.” –Harry Dresden, Blood Rites

Previous Chapter

Chapter Two: Black Crusade

Once we had regrouped and caught up with Inokuma, we continued on our way to the science building. The building itself, viewable as we approached thanks to the light posts, was your standard, brick-faced, multistory building, almost indistinguishable from the rest of the campus buildings. That is except for the roof, which was topped with greenhouses and other scientific bits and do-dads. So in that regard it stuck out during the day, at least. The differences were less noticeable at night.

The campus was deserted at that late hour, so we were the only ones wandering around. Being on university grounds with no one else around was a little unsettling. It was giving me zombie apocalypse vibes, and those are never something you want to have before entering an empty building full of science equipment. Fortunately, I was reasonably certain the Umbrella Corporation wasn’t subsidizing the university, despite Kenji’s insistent ramblings on the subject.

Once we were only a few meters from the building, Inokuma turned to me and asked, “Nakai, could you give us a rundown of the building?”

“Uh, sure,” I replied, “and call me Hisao, please.”

“Isami,” Inokuma returned, then rolled her wrist impatiently.

“The science building has ten stories,” I started to explain, “a roof, and a two-floor basement. The basements are temperature controlled server rooms and the like, the roof is botany and meteorology, with their classes on the tenth floor. The ninth and eighth floors are mostly offices and lab space for the psych department. The first three floors are classes, and the next four floors after that are labs for chemistry, physics, and biology. So where do you wanna start?”

Isami glanced at Shino, who had taken off her backpack and was rifling through it in search of something. When it became apparent that might take a while, the taller woman rolled her eyes and turned back to me.

“Wherever the barrier between the spiritual world and our world is weakest, obviously.”

Suppressing an eye-roll, I nodded. “Okay,” I paused to collect my thoughts, “Are you looking for residue of the ghost’s presence, or the ghost itself?”

Supposedly, according to Oji's limited explanation, the science building was being haunted by a samurai whose ancestral lands had once encompassed the campus back in the early Edo period. When I did some research of my own, I found very few sketchy details on him and his family, which was a red flag by itself. Kenji had also done some digging, and all he was sure about was that the guy might have had a family history of mental illness.

Isami blinked at me, clearly surprised by my ability to read Wikipedia articles on the paranormal. “Um… both, ideally,” she said. After a moment’s pause she added, “We’re hoping the residue will lead us to the ghost.”

From the edge of the group I saw Oji light a joint and stick it between his teeth. “Then we should try the psych and biology departments first,” he declared, “Shino, let me give you a hand with that.”

Shino looked up from her backpack to give Oji a grateful grimace. “Thanks.”

“Grab both headsets and the backup batteries,” Isami instructed.

Shino nodded while she and Oji sorted through the pack’s contents.

“What sort of equipment did you bring?” I asked Isami.

“Audio equipment to check for unsorted feedback,” she replied, “and infrared vision to check for visual disturbances.”

Kenji sighed and looked up at the building, earning him a raised eyebrow from the occult club president.

“Do you have a problem, Kenji?” she inquired.

Kenji glared at Isami’s general direction. “Nah, just thinkin’ of how many better ways I could spend my night then on a bug hunt.”

“The ducts aren’t big enough for xenomorphs,” I stated, “I checked.”

Isami turned her raised eyebrow on me.

Shrugging, I stated, “Don't ask.”

Shino looked up at us, her eyes practically shining as she explained, “Kenji wrote a story once about how the biology department was experimenting on aliens in the basement of the science building.”

Isami nodded. “Right, I remember that. When we spoke to the biology department they declined to comment, and then he wrote another article about the cover-up.”

Seeing my disbelieving stare, Kenji waved his arms and thundered, “I saw the gurneys!”

Rubbing my temple again, I sighed. “Sure you did. And speaking of seeing things, if we do run across the ghost, don’t you think he might be a bit miffed that we’re trespassing on its ancient landholdings?”

Not that I actually believed we’d run into a ghost, but someone had to be the voice of reason there, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Kenji – or Shino, it seemed.

Isami nodded thoughtfully. “Fair point,” she conceded, “Fortunately, Shino prepared for that.”

Shino, who was still sorting through her assorted equipment, nodded absently as she tried to untangle some cables. “I’ll fish that out once I have these cables untangled....”

The rest of us waited in various states of impatience as Oji helped her untangle the cables and start to hand off equipment. The fancy radio headset, which had half a dozen antennae and cables protruding in every conceivable direction and was powered by what looked like a car battery, was strapped to Shino’s belt before she shoved the helmet onto her head. Meanwhile, the bulky infrared vision helmet was handed off to Isami, and four batteries that looked like they could power a hybrid car were handed off to me and Kenji.

“That pack must’ve been really heavy,” I remarked.

Shino shrugged. “No big deal.”

Isami smirked before shoving the helmet onto her head. “Do you think you two can handle the batteries?” she asked.

“As long as I don’t have to run with them,” I remarked.

“You’ll be fine,” Oji stated, “You outran that bull easily enough.”

Glaring at Oji, I groaned, “Please don’t remind me of that... I still can’t look a steak in the eye.”

“So don’t order a ribeye,” Isami quipped.

Refusing to dignify her pun with a response, or remark that the helmet made her look like one of the mooks from Spaceballs, I turned to Oji and asked, “What’s your job in all this, exactly?”

“I use my attunement with the waves of the universe to check for anomalies in the localized flow for disturbances of a possibly supernatural origin.”

The sound of distant crickets suddenly became more noticeable as I blinked at him. “...Noted,” I said, quickly turning to Kenji, “We ready to roll?”

With his own battery set already strapped to his back with a bright orange safety harness, Kenji eyed the two large batteries I was holding. “You sure you can lug these around?”

Strapping the bulky batteries into place, I nodded. “I’ll be fine. I take it we’ll be avoiding elevators to ensure a thorough sweep?”

Shino nodded fervently. “I don’t like elevators.”

“Mass Effect flashbacks?” I prompted.

Shaking her head, Shino admitted, “Claustrophobia.”

“Ah.”

Isami chose that moment to clap her hands, startling both me and Shino. “We’ll be fine on the stairs, so don’t worry about it. Shino, you ready?”

“Yep,” Shino replied with a nod, “Everyone please hold on a moment.”

Kenji and I exchanged a raised eyebrow as the secretary started rifling through the pockets of her vest. Isami folded her arms and waited in passive impatience. Oji kept smoking.

“Now what?” Kenji grumbled.

“Hisao asked what we had planned in case the ghost was pissed off,” Isami stated, “Shino prepared for that contingency.”

Shino gave an absent nod as she kept searching. “I asked my grandmother to make some protective charms for the night.”

Raising an eyebrow at the secretary, I balked, “Protective charms?”

Shino nodded again as she continued her rifling through her plethora of pockets. “They’ll protect us from possession, and I have some other charms just in case.”

“Come on!” Isami sighed, rolling her hand impatiently as she turned skyward, “We’re losing optimal lunar positioning!”

Oji exhaled a cloud of smoke and said, “Chill, Isami.”

“Here they are!” Shino declared.

From one of her vest pockets, the secretary revealed five necklace charms made of clay. Kanji for the charm was etched into both sides, while simple butcher’s twine served as the chain.

“Um,” Shino glanced around at us, “I have to do this right for these to work, so I’m gonna have to put them on for you, okay?”

“Fine with me,” I said with a shrug.

Kenji glowered, but nodded, apparently willing to humor the woman despite his own atheism. Honestly, I felt more or less the same way, but my own grandmother’s warnings about angry spirits made me willing enough to accept some extra help, even on a wild goose chase. Better to have it and not need it and all that, and if nothing else it'd put Shino at ease. As for the other two Occult Club members, Isami was still glowering impatiently, while Oji just kept smoking; I got the sense they were only humoring Shino as well.

First, Shino went to the president and chanted quietly as she placed the charm around her neck, then tied the twine together behind her head. When she was done, she took a step back, clapped her hands once, bowed to Isami, and stepped over to Oji to repeat the process. She held her breath while tying up his charm, and when she bowed he respectfully bowed back. As she tied on Kenji’s charm, she flushed slightly while he grumbled and muttered under his breath. Despite his obvious discomfort, he, too, returned the bow, as did I when she finished tying my charm in place.

After placing a final charm around her own neck, Shino whirled to face the president.

Gesturing toward the nearby side door, Isami sighed, “Can we go now?”

Shino fiddled with some of the dials on her bulky, antennae-laden headset for a moment, then nodded.

“I’m ready,” she confirmed, whirling around to the rest of us, “You guys ready?”

Oji pinched the end of his joint to extinguish it, then shoved the leftovers into his pants pocket. “Ready.”

Kenji gave a curt nod, his hands fiddling with the twine as it scraped against his neck. “Let’s get this over with already.”

“I’m good to go,” I declared.

Isami nodded once. “Okay. Hisao, anything we should know before going in?”

“Don’t cross the streams,” I deadpanned.

Isami frowned at me, while Kenji, Oji, and Shino snickered.

Hey, if I was going to be stuck on this wild goose chase, I could at least have some fun doing it.

Isami glowered at me, and probably rolled her eyes, too. “Please try and take this seriously.”

Holding up a hand in mock solemnity, I stated, “I promise to undertake this escapade with all the seriousness due the occult club president, her secretary, a stoner who apparently hasn’t paid attention to a single classroom lecture on job-site drug use, a conspiracy theorist whose newsletter is made on edible paper, and a nerd with a heart condition.”

Shino blinked and tilted her head at me. “You have a heart condition?”

“There’s a reason we’re worried about stairs,” Kenji stated.

“You gonna be okay?” Isami asked.

I shrugged and waved a hand to shoo the issue away. “I should be fine.”

“If you can outrun a bull,” Oji interjected, “You can walk up some stairs.”

“Thanks, Patches,” I quipped, “but I didn’t outrun the bull, I just ran far enough to get away.”

“…True,” Oji conceded, “What about that Restoration Party rally?”

“I remember that article!” Shino declared.

“Anyway,” Isami grumbled, “Hisao, do you have any legitimate advice for us before we go in?”

“Don’t touch anything that looks science-y, and don’t flip the red switches; they’re for equipment and sometimes turning them on resets their sleep settings and stuff.”

Isami nodded, “Understood. If you'd open the door for us so we can get started?”

“Sure.”

Taking my student ID from my wallet, I slid it through the scanner. The red line above the reader went green, the latch clicked, and I grabbed the lever and hauled the door open.
Gesturing toward the two women, I said, “Ladies first.”

Shino smirked and looked to her president, who pursed her lips as she walked past me. I tried to block Kenji’s high school rantings about feminists from my mind as Shino scooted by, giving me a sheepish grimace as she walked inside.

“Oji, time to go,” I said.

Oji gave me a slow nod, shook himself like a wet dog on valium, and sauntered into the building.

Kenji watched our hippie friend’s lethargic movements as best he could, fingered the twine necklace chain nervously, and grumbled, “We are so fucked.”

“Hey, you’re the one who borrowed his car,” I countered.

Kenji smirked at my general direction, “I didn’t hear you complain when you started rifling through the trunk for the ring when you spontaneously proposed to Hanako.”

“Fair enough,” I said with a smirk, “C’mon, Egon, let’s get this over with.”

“The glasses. Is that why I'm Egon?” he balked.

“Well, yeah, otherwise it's me, and I'd rather be Venkman,” I replied.

“That makes Oji-”

“Ray,” we concurred together.

“Makes sense,” he said with a nod.

Smirking, I remarked, “And Shino is Janine.”

Kenji raised an eyebrow at me, “Because she's the secretary?”

“With a crush on Egon,” I joked and turned to head through the door.

“Dammit, Man! Why'd you go and have to say-”

“You guys coming? Isami's fading voice called from within the darkened building, “We're burning moonlight.”

The interruption halted his retort, and as Isami's echo faded, Kenji glared at me for a few moments, then carefully walked past me into the building. As I followed him, still smirking to myself, the door slowly closed behind us bearing an odd, heavy finality to it, as though we were being shut inside an airtight crypt.

It made my smile fade faster than I would have liked.

+++
Next Chapter

I ain’t scared of no ghosts.

Thunderstorms, yes. Ghosts, not so much.

And the best-line-of-the-chapter award goes to:

“Mass Effect flashbacks?” I prompted.

Runners-Up:

“Don’t cross the streams,” I deadpanned.

Though I would have been disappointed if you hadn't included that one anywhere

“The glasses. Is that why I'm Egon?” he balked.

“Well, yeah, otherwise it's me, and I'd rather be Venkman,” I replied.

“That makes Oji-”

“Ray,” we concurred together.

I fear this falls apart with Isami...

I ain’t scared of no ghosts.

Afraid! Get your quotes right


If you still need some inspiration for this storyline, I recommend watching "Ghost Hunt". The first four episodes should be plenty to start with.

Mirage_GSM wrote:And the best-line-of-the-chapter award goes to:

“Mass Effect flashbacks?” I prompted.

I do what I can I never did finish that series (ME2 ticked me off with how dumb it was.)

“Don’t cross the streams,” I deadpanned.

Though I would have been disappointed if you hadn't included that one anywhere

I am nothing if not unpredictable. And a drinker. And a fiend. Wait...

“The glasses. Is that why I'm Egon?” he balked.

“Well, yeah, otherwise it's me, and I'd rather be Venkman,” I replied.

“That makes Oji-”

“Ray,” we concurred together.

I fear this falls apart with Isami...

Hmm... good point. Really, Kenji is probably Winston, Hisao is Venkman, and Isami is Egon.

Or Sigourney Weaver. Not her character from the movies, just straight up Sigourney Weaver.

If you still need some inspiration for this storyline, I recommend watching "Ghost Hunt". The first four episodes should be plenty to start with.

Hmm... well, there is always next year....

"The world is getting weirder. Darker every single day. Things are spinning around faster and faster, and threatening to go completely awry. Falcons and falconers. The center cannot hold.” –Harry Dresden, Storm Front

Previous Chapter

Chapter Three: Space Hulk

The science building had four stairways, one at each corner, and four massive elevators in the middle. Each stairwell had only a few windows and was almost completely dark, except for a few small, dully burning lights at the corner of each flight. With the main lights turned off and the door to the building proper closed, it felt like we were standing inside a can of sardines. The rest of the group was waiting for us just ahead, where Isami had stopped and now stood with her mouth hanging open as she gawked up the stairwell through her oversized helmet, while the stairs numerous flights twisted their way up and up, around and around.

After a few moments she shuddered and lowered her head. “Nothing for it...”

“Vertigo?” I guessed.

Isami turned to me and nodded. “I’ll be fine,” she stated, then turned to her secretary, “Shino, are you picking up anything?”

Shino bit her lip and fiddled with one of the many dials attached to her bulky headset. After a moment, she frowned and deadpanned, “There’s a convenience store being robbed in town.”

“Truly the work of the supernatural,” Kenji snorted.

Glowering at her bespectacled detractor, Isami grumbled, “Shush.”

Kenji stuck out his tongue at her, and she returned the gesture.

“Children,” I grumbled, “Chill.”

“Hey,” Oji pouted, “That’s my line, man.”

Kenji rolled his eyes and looked up at the twisting staircase. “Guess we got a bit of a climb.”

Shino fiddled with the dials some more and groaned, “I can barely get a signal in here!”

“We’re inside an earthquake-proof concrete box,” I stated, “The fact you can pick up anything is a minor miracle...”

If nothing else, the occult club rolled with high-end gear.

Isami nodded. “He’s right. We should head straight to the psych department, then make our way toward the biology department if you can’t pick up anything.”

Shino chewed her lip and nodded. “Okay.”

“Alright,” Kenji said, “Oji, you’re first, followed by me. Hisao, cover the girls and take up the rear. If you need a break, let us know, okay?”

“Ahem.”

Kenji and I turned to Isami, who had pursed her lips again.

“Oh,” Kenji grimaced and gestured to the president, “Right, this is your op. My bad.”

Isami smirked and gave Kenji a curt nod.“No worries,” she said, turning to Oji, “You take the front with Hisao. Shino, follow close behind and let us know if you get a signal. Kenji, you take up the rear, while I stick close to Oji, got it?”

“Sounds front heavy,” Kenji remarked.

“No help for it,” Isami stated, “Everyone ready – we’re on the clock, folks, so let’s do this by the book and move it, move it, move it!”

Snapping to attention, I gave a mock salute and barked, “Aye, aye!”

Isami glowered at me, but said nothing. Sarcastic nerd: 1. Nutty occult club president: 1. I gave her a point for having the tenacity to plan this snipe hunt in the first place.

“Oji,” she said, “Flashlight.”

Oji blinked slowly at her a few times, then his eyes widened in comprehension, “Right, the other thing I’m here for...”

From his pocket he produced a small Maglite, which he turned on and aimed at the waiting stairs.

“So…” I began, “you check for changes in the waves of the area’s aura… and you hold the flashlight?”

Oji nodded.

“Who unmasks the janitor who's been dressing as a ghoul to drive down the price of the building?” Kenji asked.

“That'd be my job,” Isami deadpanned.

Not looking up from her gizmos, Shino stated, “But Daphne was just a bimbo along for the ride...”

“I'm Fred,” Isami corrected, “You're Velma, Oji is Shaggy, obviously... and Hisao can be Daphne.”

Turning a mocking grin at me, Kenji snarked, “It's that pretty face, man.”

“Don't make fun,” Isami said, turning up her nose as she started up the stairs, “You're the dog.”

The group got quiet as Kenji bit back what I can only assume was a torrent of choice words. Meanwhile, Oji gestured to the stairs with the light, so I took the hint and stepped into formation. Shino and Isami sidled up behind us, and we started the climb leaving Kenji in the dark.

Before he got too far from the light, I called back, “Put some ointment on that burn and move it, Scooby!”

Pausing, Isami turned to him with a speculative frown. “You aren’t gonna bail on us back there, are you?”

Catching up a few steps, Kenji growled and jabbed a finger at the wall next to the president. “Give me some credit, woman!” he half-shouted – I thought he did well not to blow up in her face at that point. “Just because I think this entire trip is a waste of time doesn’t mean I won’t honor my debt. Sheesh.”

“All right, all right,” Isami grumbled, “Just making sure. Oji, lead the way, please.”

Oji nodded and started climbing the stairs, and the group started silently ascending the darkened stairwell.

Now, slowly climbing stairs in the middle of the night surrounded by crazy people is not generally how I expected to spend my nights – at least not until much later in life. The fact I ended up doing it anyway is probably some of the strongest proof I’ve found of a higher power – one with an extremely twisted sense of humor, at that.

As we stalked our way slowly up the stairs, keeping quiet so Shino could fiddle with her mission control setup, the echoes of our shuffling footsteps followed our ascent, making the hairs on my neck twitch lightly. It's not that I’m afraid of the dark or anything, but there’s something about hanging around an empty building that’s just… off, somehow; I felt like we were disturbing the building’s rest from the day’s efforts, or something.

Or maybe I just read too much.

We were partway up the flight of stairs, and about to reach the psych department, when Shino gasped and stopped dead in her tracks. Oji and I whirled around, Oji having the sense to keep the flashlight low so he wouldn’t blind her with it, while Isami took a moment longer to stop. Kenji, seeming far less aware of our movements, ended up bumping into Shino.

“Who’s there?!” he snapped, stepping back down onto the previous tread and raising his arms defensively.

“Shino stopped,” I explained, turning to her, “what’s up?”

Shino, looking slightly flushed in the ambient light, bit her lip and started fiddling with one of her dials. “I think I got something.”

Isami swiveled in place to look at Shino, “Really? You’re sure?”

Shrugging, Shino gave the president an annoyed glance. Isami pouted, but waited quietly for the secretary to do whatever it was she was doing.

After a few moments of fiddling, Shino groaned and slumped in defeat. “No use,” she lamented, “it's gone – I lost it.”

“We’re definitely close, though,” Isami stated. Turning her head toward me, she smirked lightly and remarked, “Guess you made a good call with the psych department.”

“I just went off what Kenji told me based on the rumors,” said with a dismissive shrug, then turned to Oji, “Grab her antennae, Oji.”

Oji stood there dumbly for a moment, then blinked and mumbled, “…Shouldn’t I buy her dinner first?”

Shino blushed, Isami and Kenji snickered, and I rolled my eyes.

“That doesn’t even… she’s a…. urrrgh, just grab her antennae to amplify the signal!”

“O-oh,” Oji stammered, “R-right.”

“Good idea,” Isami agreed.

Shrugging, I remarked, “I don’t take science classes to meet women...”

Isami smirked and nodded once. Oji, meanwhile, went up another step on the stairs passed Shino, wrapped his free hand around one of her headset antennae, and stuck his flashlight upward. It was a rather dramatic pose for a guy in a bandana who still smelled like pot smoke.

Speaking of which, while we were stopped I took a moment to check my heart. Between the stairs and Oji’s clothes being soaked in cannabis smoke, I wanted to make sure I was okay. Fortunately I was – I didn’t run in the mornings for the fun of it. Well, not just for the fun of it.

“Huh,” I grunted, “Maybe I should make Emi the flower girl.”

Everyone else except Shino turned to me and raised an eyebrow; Kenji was the only one who might have had any idea what I was talking about. While they looked at me, Shino continued fiddling with her dials, occasionally tapping an antennae or cable along the way. She was biting her lip so hard I was worried she’d cut herself.

Only the sounds of our breathing and the occasional step from Isami and Kenji, who were starting to fidget in place from lack of activity, filled the empty air. We stayed like that for several minutes – just the five of us, the darkness, our steady breaths, and the odd, hollow sound concrete stairways always seem to have. That came to a sudden end when Shino took a sharp breath.

“…I think I got something,” she muttered.

“What kind of something?” Kenji asked.

Before Shino could reply, Oji stepped over to her and pulled one of her headset’s earpieces to listen in. After several moments of concentration, Oji swallowed and explained, “You know the creepy radio static with barely audible voices in every bad horror film?”

“You’re kidding,” I said.

Shino shook her head and confirmed, “He’s not.”

“Whoa, man,” Kenji said, hands up in mid-gesticulation, “I didn’t sign on to be an extra in a horror film.”

“Don’t worry,” I said, “Virgins always survive a horror film, so you’re fine.”

Kenji glowered and flicked me off as Oji stepped back from Shino and shrugged, apparently in resignation of his fate. Isami glared at us with her stupid-looking helmet, while Shino blushed and twiddled one of the dials some more.

“I think it’s coming from the psych department,” Shino stated, “but I can’t be sure from here.”

Isami nodded. “Alright, we’ll go up to the next landing,” she said, “Shino, try to get a signal while Hisao and Kenji scope out the next floor.”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Kenji interrupted again, “I don’t care who’s in charge, we don’t split the party.”

Part II:

“He has a point,” I said, “This building can get pretty confusing if you’re not sure where you’re going... and besides, I’m the one who knows the security guys.”

Isami frowned and looked up at Oji, who blinked and let go of Shino’s antennae.

“…Good point,” she conceded, “Okay, we’ll stay on the landing, and you two scope it out from the doorway. Move out, people.”

Shino bit her lip, nodded, and started moving up the stairs. Oji aimed his flashlight and took point, me staying close beside him. Isami and Kenji stayed back, Isami scanning everywhere with her helmet, while Kenji just glowered and tried to avoid tripping on the stairs.

When we reached the landing, Oji and I sidled up to the door. It had a small square window in an otherwise steel body, and we both peered through it to scan the hallway. Again, the only illumination came from a few dully glowing lights along the sides of the hall, and it was impossible to hear anything with the door closed. Exchanging a brief nod, we cracked the door open to get a better look.

As soon as the door was open, Shino gasped. We both stopped and turned to her as she started frantically working one of her dials.

“I’m definitely getting something,” she declared, “sounds like words, but I can’t make it out.”

“Isami,” I whispered, “Scan the hallway for us?”

The president nodded and sidled up next to me, shielding herself with the door as she scanned the hallway with her helmet. Maybe there was something to all this ghost talk after all. Or maybe someone had left a radio on. Either way, better safe than sorry.

“...I don’t see anything,” Isami grumbled, “maybe if I adjusted the range...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Oji said, “Shino, any idea what the voice is saying?”

“The call is coming from inside the house,” I guessed.

Oji and Isami glared at me. Well, presumably Isami did – it was hard to tell with that helmet in the way. Shino, meanwhile, was looking at Kenji and biting her lip, while Kenji stood back and convinced himself he was less insane than the Spaceball recruit and the hippie stoner- I know, tautology.

“Kenji,” she said, a flush of color in her cheeks, “Could you maybe listen in and see if you can make this out?”

Kenji jumped at the sudden question, but rallied and gave a brief nod. “Sure.”

“Thanks,” Shino said, “I think the voice is Japanese, but it’s off somehow.”

“Well,” I said, “If it’s your samurai ghost, he’s probably speaking a three hundred year old dialect.”

Shino blinked at me. “Oh… right… I didn’t think of that.”

“Oh,” Oji said, and moved over next to Shino, “You shoulda said so sooner – I coulda taken the headset then.”

Kenji snorted, “You know Edo period Japanese?”

Oji nodded, “In a past life I was Kojirō Sasaki.”

“I’ll let George know,” I remarked, “He has some complaints about you performance in the Fate route.”

Oji shrugged and pulled off an earpiece again, trying to listen in while Shino held her breath so he could hear better. After a few moments he swallowed, put the earpiece back in place, and turned to me and Isami.

“It boils down to ‘get out’, though it’s a bit more flowery than that,” he stated, “Warrior poets are apparently very purple prose-y about their warnings.”

“But it’s definitely the ghost?” Isami asked, “Not some recording or broadcast or something?”

Oji shrugged and glanced at Shino, who bit her lip again.

“I can’t be sure of that with this equipment,” she said, “I do think the source of the signal is on this floor, though.”

I refrained from remarking that the call was indeed coming from inside the house since, ghost or not, that was just plain creepy.

Isami nodded and moved to open the door completely.

“Whoa there,” I said, bracing myself against it to stop her. She looked up at me and glowered as I continued, “The ancient samurai ghost is giving us a warning to get out, in perfectly cliché horror fashion. I suggest we take his advice and skedaddle.”

Isami snorted, “Where’s your scientific curiosity? Your confidence in the idiocy of this expedition? Your confidence in the trained and skilled leadership of the occult club?”

“Suspended by self-preservation, tempered by evidence, and non-existent in the first place,” I countered, “No offense, Shino.”

“None taken, but, um, I think you have a point,” she said.

Isami whirled around to face Shino. “What?”

Raising a hand to try and calm her president, Shino began explaining calmly, “The voice sounds angry, and it’s been getting louder the closer we got to this floor. Something’s been tingling along my spine ever since we hit this landing, and now I know it’s because there’s a ghost warning us to leave. Don’t ask me how I know, it’s just a gut instinct. If we don’t leave... bad things will happen.”

Shino deserves credit; I couldn't have made it sound more ominous if I'd written her dialogue myself.

“That’s two votes to leave,” I said in full agreement, “Kenji?”

Kenji snorted, “I didn’t wanna be here in the first place, man. Oji asked us to help the occult club, we helped them. Far as I’m concerned our debt is done.”

“Oji?” I asked.

Oji shrugged. “Maybe I can talk to him and get him to chill. If he’s real, that is. Could just be a prank by the AV club...”

“You people are such cowards,” Isami grumbled, “This expedition is not a democracy. I say we move forward, so we’re moving forward! Everyone got that?”

Me and Kenji glared at the president, Oji shrugged, and Shino bit her lip.

“…I kinda have to go with her,” the secretary stated, “She is the president, after all.”

Sighing, I nodded to concede the point. “Fair enough. Oji?”

“Same deal, man,” he replied, “You two can go if you want... but, I’d rather have you guys watching my back.”

Feeling our options dwindle, I glanced at Kenji, who gave my left ear a level glare and a raised eyebrow. Obviously he wanted to bug out, perhaps more than myself. At the same time, though, I couldn’t deny that Isami had a point: I was curious about this whole ghost thing. As an agnostic and a scientist, I had to keep an open mind about things, and if there was an Other Side, maybe we could speak with it and establish a dialog. And if we could do that, how much could we learn?

Either way, the possibilities did seem to outweigh the risks. We could still end up like the orcs in the movie of The Return of the King, or in trouble with security, but science is always about measured risk. So, perhaps temporarily blinded by scientific curiosity, I gave Kenji my best cavalier grin and a thumbs-up.

“You heard him, man,” I said, “We’re the hero he deserves, not the hero he needs.” When he didn't immediately nod, I teasingly added, “There's a Scooby-snack in it for ya, too.”

Kenji snorted and gave me a weary smirk. “Alright, fine, Daphne. Let’s do this.”

Isami smiled faintly, just for a moment, before glancing to the hall. “Okay, I’m on point,” she stated, glancing back at each of us as she continued, “Oji, stay close to Shino in case she picks up anything else. Shino, stay behind me. Kenji, Hisao, you have the rear.”

Nodding, I stepped away from the door. “Ready.”

Isami gave a quick nod, pushed the door fully open, and we all held our breath as she took a single step into the hallway. After several seconds passed without anything trying to rip off her face, she stepped fully through the door. We all exhaled collectively, then Shino took another deep breath and moved to follow, but only got one foot through the door before stopping with a shiver.

“You okay?” Oji asked.

Shino spun around and looked pale as a ghost as she shook her head. “He doesn’t want us here! We should go back. Now.”

Oji glanced at Isami, who was carefully scanning the branching hallway to our left. “Prez,” he urged, “I think we should listen to her.”

“No way! I’ve worked too hard and endured too much not to waste this chance at proving my club right,” Isami countered, “And besides, it’s just a ghost – what can it do?”

“Manifest,” Shino stated, turning to peer back down the dark hallway, “...and cut off all our heads.”

Isami sniffed. “We'll be fine. Both hallways are clear, so I say we check the next corner by taking this branch. Move out, people.”

Not even bothering to wait for the rest of us, Isami started walking – a woman on a mission. Sighing, Oji followed, practically dragging a whimpering Shino along by the arm. After sharing a dubious look with me, Kenji sighed and followed, shaking his head and probably imagining a million ways this could all go terribly wrong. The flickering flashlight painted eerie shadows on the walls as they walked away, and I took a brief moment to look back into the concrete stairwell.

Even though I knew we had just climbed up all the way from the bottom, it didn't look any less foreboding. For a brief moment I considered going back, but I decided we were committed – or ought to have been committed, maybe – so I sighed inwardly, shook my head haplessly once again, and turned to follow the group. As the door to the stairway closed with a loud, echoing thunk, I looked back and wondered whether I'd made a bad decision.

+++
Next Chapter

Hisao, make a bad decision? Nah.

This chapter brought to you by the power of praise and twelve gauge shotgun shells. Speaking of which, I better get back to it so Helbereth can take a break between waves.

Ilya, get my AA-12. It’s time to party!

By the Emperor, you're back! Or I'm back....I don't know, I've been lurking here forever.

Looks promising as always, though I was hoping the next chapter would be named "Only War" or "Pimps in Space Rogue Trader."