Chapter 1: Part 2! (Notes at the end.)
I'm not sure whether Hoshiyo accepted my offer because she was interested or out of stress. While nothing like that strange burned girl, Ikezawa, who goes out of her way to hide from others, she seems shy. We have been walking for about 10 minutes now, and no word escaped her mouth yet. She keeps her hands in the belly pocket of her white and blue hoodie and looks at things with a distracted and anxious eye. There is a touch of sadness also, I believe... I can understand why, though, she is thrown in an alien universe where nothing is familiar, and the school is in itself large and intimidating, with its huge park and numerous buildings and installations. I was probably like that myself when I first came here and the students who welcomed me showed me around.
The silence on her part is becoming quite unbearable, though.
To be fair, I did not say much either, just the essential about the places we come accross. I showed her the library, cafeteria and rooftop already, and we are now heading out in the park. However big this school is, once you know it, it becomes quite easy to go around, so I think it is important to show as much as I can.
I break the silence yet another time, with no response from my companion. “ This is the medical aisle, ” I say in a neutral voice pointing my finger at the building. “ The headnurse's office is here, as well as the pool and other stuff.” Stuff I have no idea what it is used for, by the way...
She nods but says nothing, and we continue our walk to the dormitories. Usually, the presence of a pool triggers some questions, but Hoshiyo seems completely unimpressed.
“I guess you already know of the dormitories?” I ask, sure of the answer.
“Well... A-actually no.” Those are the first words she says since her presentation, and she looks awfully ill-at-ease with them.
“You mean you don't have a room yet?” I ask in a surprised voice “I assumed your family had already helped you settle up?”
However innocent my remark has been, she seems to be taking it wrong. For a brief moment her eye opens wide, but closes just as fast, as if she was repressing a tear. When she speaks, her voice is a bit shaky.
“My sister will be dropping my things later.” She says so fast I can barely understand. “She is at w-work and there is nobody else that could come.”
The last part is muttered and she lowers her face to the ground.
It seems like she is about to cry. Wait, what did I do? This is really confusing and awkward, but I obviously said something wrong. I am lousy when it comes to those situations...
I scratch my head and put my hand on her shoulder.
“Hey... Whatever it was, I'm sorry I mentionned it, I should not have...”
“It... is okay, really.” she says, her tone still shaking. “You could not have known.” She is lightly shivering, as she says so. Her face is bowed in the direction of the floor, as much to avoid eye contact as to hide the incoming tears, I guess.
Sure enough, I spot a tear falling to the ground, followed by many others. But she does not sob, she is entirely silent. Hem, I just made a girl I know for only a few minutes cry, and I haven't got the slightest idea why. I really don't know what to do right now, so I just step towards her and hug her. There is no other thought in my mind than the will to confort her. I've always hated to see people cry. She is trembling a little bit more when my arms come around her, surprised probably, but she quickly accepts the embrace, taking her hands out of the pockets of her hoodie and putting them behind my back, as her head comes to rest on my shoulder. If I had guessed my innocent question would have such an outcome, I would have refrained from asking it...
The embrace lasts for an undetermined time, maybe for several minutes, but eventually it starts getting awkward. Besides, she seems to regain some sort of composure, wiping away the remaining tears with her hoodie's sleeve. She looks at me, and this time I focus my gaze only on her good eye. We separate and stand here awkwardly, none of us knowing what to do.
“Thank you.”She says, in a strangled voice.
I grin and reply “You are quite welcome!” Ugh... Idiot, she just cried for god knows what, and you just do the idiot like nothing happened.
She doesn't seem to mind, though, and a small and timid smile creeps on her face, before disappearing behind the serious stare mode.
I look at the sky. It is almost cloudless. By now, the sun is high up, and a quick look at my watch tells me it is already 1pm. There are too few students in the school for the cafeteria to be open, but I guess the Shangai should be. The little café is not exactly close neither cheap, but the food is good and the service usually suits the standards. I have plenty of good memories there. So I decide to soothe the atmosphere with the offer of food. It usually works.
“Do you want to grab something to eat?” I ask to my new classmate
She shrugs a bit, turns at me, and says :
“Yeah, what are you suggesting?”
It would seem that the food ritual still works!
I notice she appears to be far less anxious now, and even if it's only a little, she is smiling. Her speech is no longer hesitant, as well. The distracting thought of food worked its wonders. I smile, glad that we were able to break the tension. She was probably just scared and disoriented, and I just pressed the bad buttons... Maybe I'm saying that just because I want to make myself feel better, though.
“Well we can't go to the cafeteria, it's closed, but there is a café in the town nearby, called the Shangai, a nice and quiet place. Unless you prefer the convenience store?” I say jokingly. Who would prefer instant ramen and packed food to the appeal of a nice and fresh slice of delicious pie or cake, with a nice cup of tea?
She lets out a small and cute giggle. “The Shangai is fine.”
“This way, then!” I say enthusiastically while showing the gate with both my arms, bowing deeply, like a butler or some kind of overly polite waiter.
She giggles again, and heads to the gate, a small smile on her lips. I guess acting goofy always does the trick, especially when combined with the prospect of food.
-----
I think I missed walking down this hill a little, over the vacations. It has always been an airlock between the school and the 'Real' world. People here know about the school, and so it's common for them to see kids missing arms, legs, scarred, or whatever. With people like me, it's harder, and I sometimes catch a glance that says “Now what is wrong with this one?” But most simply don't care anymore. And most students are used to it as well.
As for my new companion, I notice she looks elsewhere when we cross the path of one of the rare locals. She must be self-conscious about her eye, but still not hiding it completely. Thanks to the hair that masks it, it's actually pretty hard to see if you're not staring.
We reach the Shangai after a short walk in silence. The familiar bell chimes as we get in, and the waitress, who is not Yuuko -I guess she is not here yet- seats us in a quiet corner. There is almost nobody here apart from us, and Hoshiyo seems much more relaxed. The quiet atmosphere seems to be working its charms, even with my reserved companion. We order a plate of sandwiches for the both of us, and then I order a tea and lemon pie, while Hoshiyo asks for a light soda and chocolate cake.
The same silence stands between us, but it is less painful and awkward than before. I decide to try and get her to talk a bit, just so she can feel safer and open a little more, hopefully.
“So, are you better now?” I ask casually, just to engage the conversation.
She nods and adds : “Sorry about that, It's been a rough week, and it is a whole new environment.” She says this with a distant look on her face, seemingly going through her thoughts. Her voice is very soft. She is not shy as I thought first, she is just a bit disoriented, and who can blame her? Coming in a new school, and having a stranger pressing on some painful spot...
I try to reassure her by talking a bit about my own first experience with Yamaku, maybe it will show her that this is big change to everyone.
“When I came here two years ago, I was just like you, I knew nobody, and everyone was so strange and scary...” I look at the ceiling as I recall my first day. It's like it was yesterday somehow. “I arrived two days before school started, so there were many students already. I remember they were nice, but they looked at me as if they were trying to guess what was wrong with me.” I giggle a bit to the memory, as I remember the face of embarassement that Genki pulled when I confronted him about it. And to think we would be best friends only weeks after that episode...
I look at Hoshiyo again and find her gazing at me, a serious, analytical glare on her face. There goes the 'What is wrong with you that you are in a school for the disable' face. I must have attracted her interest in knowing about why I am here with my story. I decide to play with her a bit.
“Something on my face?” I ask jokingly, pointing to my nose.
She shakes her head. “No, sorry, it's just I thought this was a school for disabled students, but you seem completely okay, and I wonder why you...”
Seriously? How bold! I let out a phony outraged gasp, and voluntarily puff out my cheeks to form a disapproving face. She stops when she sees it, and her eye opens wide, as she jumps halfway out of her seat.
“OH MY GOD, sorry I didn't mean to say it out loud!” She is nearly screaming and the other clients turn to us, no doubt questionning about the sudden commotion. Hoshyio sees that, and she just collapses back in her chair, looking at the ground, and blushing hard. The clients quickly go back to their business.
I look at her. If embarrassment had a face, she would be it right now. I find myself about to start laughing at what just happened. I'm quite used to being asked about my disability, and I guess it's because it's all the more intriguing since there is no apparent sign of it. Well that is until I fall down and swell.
I stay silent for a bit but can't hold my laughter in, as she seems to be willing to disappear in her seat. The sudden laughter startles her and her face jumps up, her mouth wide opened in surprise. I'm still laughing when I say :
“Hey, how crude of you! Not everyone likes to be asked about their disability... And besides, normal students are also accepted at Yamaku. Why could I not be one of those?” I stop, trying, and failing, to take a serious tone. “Ah, anyway I don't really mind. What I have is Haemophilia, wich means my blood doesn't coagulate well. Like, when I cut myself, the blood flows for a longer time, and shocks on my body can make lumps filled with blood if a vessel is broken.”
I really do not care talking about all of it, I was diagnosed when I was 3, so the disease is a significant part of my life, and I live along with it. Plus it is better if she knows, instead of freaking out at a swelling knee if I happen to fall, like it happened before. I usually tell the people I get close to, because with something like that, it is helpful that whoever you are with knows how to react.
She still seems ashame and tense, but it looks like my words calmed her a little. She is now sitting normally, and looks at the table, still blushing, but noticeably less embarassed. She sighs, closing her eye and says in a shy voice :
“I'm really, really sorry for being so rude, it just kind of came out, and I forced you to bring it up.” she says, shaking awkwardly in her seat. “It just surprised me how normal you look.” She doesn't insist on my disease, but more on her mistake.
I grimace at her employ of the word 'normal', though. “You know, everyone is normal here. Our bodies are damaged, but inside we are just like everyone else.”
She seems to be doubting that, but doesn't argue. I can tell she is eager to change the subject.
“For my part I think it is quite obvious why I am here...” her good eye wanders around the room to avoid my gaze.
I look at her eyepatch instinctively, and smile. “It is indeed. Relax, now, it's alright, just remember to have more tact with other people, some are not in good terms with their disability. It's kind of an unspoken rule around here not to talk to someone about it unless they do it first.”
A rule some don't seem to know or care about, like Tezuka, who straight out of nowhere extorted the information out of me by implying that my problem involved my manhood. What could I do but tell her ? I had to defend my male honor, didn't I ?
On a more serious note, now that I think about it, this kind of mistake Hoshiyo just made is common ground at Yamaku, and I think everyone took a step on such a landmine at least once. It's hard to be careful enough to never hurt anyone. But Yamaku actually helps one come to terms with their condition most of the time, so in the end, making such step off the line is not considered a big deal for most students.
I notice that Hoshiyo is back to her calmer self. It looks like she is honest at least. I decide to joke around her earlier discomfort by playing her own game of 'Ask tactless questions casually'.
“So, why come to Yamaku?” I ask, “Apart for the eye, I mean.” I smile widely to let her know I'm joking and she sticks her tongue out. It's good to see her embarassment is going away bit by bit. She is smiling genuinely at last. Sunshine after rain, praise the lord, etc...
“I guess I heard only good things about it, but it is mostly because it was the school for disabled that was the closest to my home.” she makes a pause, sighs and continues, like it is a burden to say the next sentence “Also, I did not want to go back to my old school now that...” Her voice jerks and she stops, taking a sip of her soda.
Oh so it is recent then... I understand why she is so clumsy about it, now. The loss of her eye understandably isn't the best subject. Better not to insist on it. Silence settles once again, as only the rattle of cutlery is heard. I silently bless whoever invented lemon pie. This thing tastes like heaven wrapped in an outer shell of meringue. After a minute of eating, she suddenly and unexpectedly breaks the silence.
“Why, I mean, why did
you choose Yamaku?” She looks at me with an interested eye.
Oh, that is a pretty complicated story actually... But I guess I can try to cut it short.
“Well it's certainly not because of proximity, I used to live in Kyushu, near Fukuoka, but my parents had a blind friend who went here in Yamaku, and told them it was the best days of his life. It's a coincidence I guess, or some kind of destiny stuff.” I laugh softly, and then stop and hesitate about telling her about the other reason. Hum, maybe later.
“But it is so far from your home !” She says on a surprised tone, “Don't you miss it sometimes?”
“Sure, sometimes, it was a lovely place, but I'm used to here, now. I have much more freedom here, with the knowledge that if something happens, the staff is here.” It is not always entirely true, of course, but they can intervene quickly, and they know what they are doing... Besides, I also tend to limit myself because accidents can bring a lot of pain, and if I can avoid it, I'm fine with the idea of being somewhat idle.
Hoshiyo seems to be taking in the facts slowly, lost in thought, as if she was trying to process something to say after all that revelations. Finally she looks at me and says with a smile : “You seem to be feeling alright in this school... Like you are actually at home here.” She pauses and looks away evasively, her cheeks a little red and then asks in a very low voice : “Will you help me make myself at home, also?”
I think I am blushing a little too. It is very strangely put, and i can't help but wonder if she meant something more than her words said... Nah, I'm overthinking this, she is just asking me to show her around and to hang with her before she can get to know other people better. She probably noticed I was lost in thoughts since a half expectant, half embarassed smile is now showing on her face. God, get it together Keiji, it's nothing.
“Of course, we're here for the whole year after all.”
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NOTES
So there it is, the true beginning of the story, part 1 being that bulky introduction/monologue.
This is way more dialogue oriented, and so is the rest of the chapter, but you'll see that.
Actually, The first act is almost fully redacted, so it means that i have a little less than a dozen of those, more or less the same size, ready. I'm planning to live on that stock for the next two weeks, to give myself time to write more and also finish those damn drawings. I hope that I will be done sometimes next week, or the one after.
Anyway, feedback and advices are appreciated, hope you enjoy it!
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