Katawa Shoujo Forums

Hello everyone, this is going to be my very first fan fiction story and I hope you all enjoy! First, some background. I have to admit I was rather late to the party and did not learn of Katawa Shoujo until only last year, but the girls of Yamaku captured me just like I am sure they captured everyone else on the forum. Even more recently, I watched CLANNAD and After Story, and I'm sure most of us who have seen the anime or read the visual novel can easily understand where I am going with this, I'm almost certain there may be another fan-fic with a cross-over of these two around here somewhere; I did find one of Tomoya Okazaki coming and falling for Hanako, but that was on another website.

My history as a writer goes quite a ways back, in contrast to my rather recent adventure into the world of visual novels. Ever since elementary school I've loved to write short stories about everyday life, (of course back then it would have been more optimistic then what I write now) and I loved to read even more so. I loved reading about science especially, and this of course helped improve my writing skills greatly, as most of the books I read were college text books and I therefore was required to learn quite a large vocabulary list. Fast forward to around April, and I have to say I was primarily inspired by the premise of "Learning to Fly" by EurobeatJester. EurobeatJester understood that ironically enough in a game where the protagonist has a dangerous heart condition, the idea of mortality isn't actually focused on very much and is used as more of a plot device than an actual source of conflict. This is the reason why EurobeatJester decided to write his story about Saki, whom from the April Fools information has a disease that would kill her much sooner than it would Hisao, (unless he did something stupid, which of course would not be surprising).

I did not want to feel like I was plagiarizing his work, (which is still in progress and is so far fantastic dare I say) and so I wondered how could I write a story where death was a very real threat to both Hisao and the girl he loved. Several months passed and while I struggled with my own physical condition I could not find a way to write a story that wasn't a copy-paste of "Learning to Fly", but then I watched CLANNAD. If any of you haven't seen this anime I would recommend it without a second thought. The most severe critiques people have of it is the length. The story is drawn out over two seasons of over twenty episodes each, and if you aren't patient then you can see how this would be a nightmare, however the length of the anime is a strength in its own right. I will not spoil much about the story however, and just get to the point.

The female protagonist's name is Nagisa Furukawa. Tomoya first meets her during the beginning of his senior year - unable to climb the hill to school, Nagisa asks whether or not Tomoya likes the school and the story goes on from there. As I watched the anime I learned that Nagisa had to repeat a year due to a mysterious illness, and several times Nagisa has to stop attending classes and once more has to repeat her senior year, (during this period Nagisa and Tomoya fall in love if you really didn't figure it out already). Eventually the pair get married, and Nagisa gets pregnant. Unfortunately she gets sick while going into labor, and Tomoya is left emotionally crushed as the love of his life dies while he holds their daughter in his arms.

This was when I realized I found the perfect source for a fairly original fan-fiction. Nagisa had to repeat her last year of high school twice, and if Yamaku academy existed in the CLANNAD universe it would seem to be the obvious solution of course. Nagisa herself had actually been sick since she was a child, but she was only heavily affected by her condition during her high school years, and therefore would naturally be recommended by her doctors to attend Yamaku.

And so I shall begin writing this story in the hopes of having fun myself, and entertaining fellow fans of Katawa Shoujo, CLANNAD, and fan-fictions in general. The story starts off with Hisao about to walk through the entrance, when he runs into Nagisa in a situation not unlike Tomoya's run-in. The difference of course would be that Nagisa in CLANNAD had already attended Hikarizaki for three years, and was a year older than Tomoya. In this scenario, Nagisa would once again be repeating her final year, but in a completely new environment away from her loving parents and everyone she knew. From this point onward I have not come up with anything, I tend to find I come up with better stories on the fly, so I hope you can all bare with me while we go together on this adventure (that was a cheesy conclusion I know).

Okay, before I start, let me tell you that I am not a fan of Clannad - or more specifically not a fan off Clannad After Story.
The first season is a perfectly average Key Anime with a few interesting heroines (of which Nagisa is not one). The second season is a mess of lazy writing grinding the viewers nose into the places where they should cry and a complete Deaus Ex Machina asspull for a finale.

That does not mean you can't write a good story about it, though.

What makes me doubt more is this:

The story starts off with Hisao about to walk through the entrance, when he runs into Nagisa in a situation not unlike Tomoya's run-in.

If you plan to just rewrite Clannad while replacing Tomoya with Hisao that will bore all fans of Clannad - who will be your main target audience. To make this work you'd have to focus on Nagisa's character… which leads right into the next problem:

Nagisa is an incredibly boring character. Her defining character traits are:
- her illness
- her desire to make a theatre play of a story she heard as a child
- her wacky family
- her infantile like for fluffy Dango plushies

So let's see how that helps you in writing this story:
- her illness is what's commonly known as "key aids" - an unspecified illness that makes a character weak and prone to die when it suits the story or to be mysteriously healed if the MC makes the right choices in the VN.
- the play is highly symbolic. While I found them incredibly boring the way they were directed in the anime, they were also one of the best things about the series from a story standpoint. The problem is they don't make a shred of sense unless you DO make a direct adaption of the story of Clannad with Hisao replacing Tomoya.
- her family will be far off if Nagisa is going to Yamaku.
- So... good luck with making an interesting story about a girl who likes plushies.

Sorry, to be so discouraging. All I'm saying is that it will be very hard to write a captivating story on this premise. To sum up, a few tips how you can try to make it work:
- Before you start writing, try to make a plan for what you want to make of the story; where you want it to go. Don't just plan the first scene and see where it goes from there.
- Think of some actual illness that Nagisa can have and read up on it.
- If you want her to be in a theatre club, think of an original backstory for Nagisa and a play that would fit it symbolically.
- Have her go to Yamaku instead of her repeating her last year at her old school rather than have her repeat it twice.

Act I
Scene I

Note, I do borrow quite a bit of text from Katawa Shoujo itself, please do not think I'm trying to take credit for it or any of that nonsense, it's just to let the reader orient himself. As soon as the class introductions are concluded and the next scene commences I shall borrow as little text as possible. I do intend to make this story full length, so I shall try to write as much as I can while I am still in summer vacation, and hopefully I can come up with a story as time goes on. A minimum of three scenes per act is quite a daunting task, but I hope I can accomplish it.

The gate looked far too pompous for what it was. In fact, gates in general seem to do that, but this one especially so. Red bricks, black wrought iron and grey plaster, assembled into a whole that didn't feel welcoming at all. Of course I didn't want to get stuck on thinking about the gate for too long, so I entered through it with a brisk pace that felt surprisingly good.

I was told that there's supposed to be someone waiting for me, and the only person on the grounds that I can find is this short girl with brown hair reaching down no further than her neck. For some reason though I feel like she isn't actually the person who was supposed to be waiting.

She clearly is a student, already in uniform, and I can't help but think that she is rather cute-

"SWEET BEAN BREAD!"

Uhm... what?

She turns around, and then realized that I had just heard her little outburst.

Her face now slowly growing pink, she speaks up, "O-oh, uh, uhm. Hello, I'm sorry about that, I must have startled you huh? I'm so sorry, it's just a habit of mine...".

"You randomly yell out types of food?", I ask.

"Not just any," she responds, " I yell out my favorite types of food as a form of encouragement. I basically try to tell myself I'll give myself my favorite meal as a reward whenever I feel like I can't accomplish something..."

Still confused, I ask her, "are you a new student here?"

Still blushing, she replies, "ye-yes. I got ill and couldn't finish my senior year, and my doctors recommended that I come here."

"I guess that makes two of us then," I comment, somehow feeling encouraged by the fact that I have a fellow companion who had to abandon almost everything from her past life. "So, where are you headed to right now?"

Her blush finally gone, the girl responds, "A certain Mr. Mutou is supposed to be waiting for me in the main building, I have him for homeroom apparently."

Hmm, I wonder if he is waiting for us both? "Well, someone is waiting for me as well, so I guess we can head on together."

"Su-sure," she mutters. She seems to be quite shy eh?

And so we head into the main building. Sure enough, a tall man with bad posture notices us as we enter. We're the only people in the lobby, so it's only logical.

"Ah, I imagine you must be Furukawa and you must be... Ni... Na... Niki?". Of course he butchers only my last name...

"Nakai" I correct, trying to act unfazed by his failed attempts at pronouncing my surname.

"Excellent. Well, Miss Furukawa, Mr. Nakai, I'm your science teacher." He then proceeds to extend his arm out to give us a handshake. "My name is Mutou. Welcome"

The girl, Furukawa, sheepishly raises her arm in a quick and rather awkward handshake, her face staring at the floor.

"Now Mr. Nakai, the nurse specifically asked you to come in for a brief check-in visit, but there's no time for that. So I suggest that we should all get going and introduce you two to the rest of the class. They're waiting already."

"Well, off we go" I tell Furukawa.

"Ye- yes. off we go."

The third door down the third floor corridor is marked as the classroom for class 3-3.

Mutou opens the door and enters.

"Ladies first." I say, letting Furukawa enter before me.

"Thank you..."

"Good morning everyone, sorry I am late again," Mutou announces, as I instantly freeze. Furukawa notices this and tugs me by the sleeve of my shirt. Right right, I'm not alone here.

I follow Furukawa into the classroom and look around, partially so I won't have to meet the curious gazes of my new classmates. It's pretty spacious; the ceiling is unusually high and there's lots of space left over around and inbetween the desks. And entire wall taken up by the blackboards and the high, old fashioned windows set at head level only make it seem larger.

My curiosity is interrupted by Mutou. "...please welcome our newest classmates."

He claps his hands and so does everyone else, except one girl in the first row with only one hand. I cringe a little, but hide it by bowing in thanks, Furukawa quickly following in my example. A collective silence tells me that one of us should probably open our mouths now.

Seeing that Furukawa once again is staring at the floor, I speak up. "So... I'm Hisao Nakai," and after that? "My hobbies are reading and soccer. I hope to get along well with everyone even though I'm a new student." And after that?

Furukawa then realizes it is her turn, and she finally addresses the classroom, while nervously toying with her skirt, "Hello everyone. My name is Nagisa Furukawa... uhm... I don't actually have any hobbies to speak of, but I like theater and the great dango family... I also hope to get along well with everyone."

She quickly bows and then proceeds to not lift her face. Nagisa eh, well I barely met her, so I'll keep referring to her as Furukawa. But... great dango family? Is that something that exists? Well, I suppose it could have gone worse

We both stand awkwardly in the front of the class as Mutou drones about getting along. Finally he decides to turn his attention to us, "We're going to be doing some group work today, so that'll give you a chance to talk to everyone. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, it's fine with me." Furukawa simply nods in agreement.

"That's good. You can work with Hakamichi. She is the class representative. Hakamichi, would you and Mikado mind moving your tables over to the right a bit? We need some space for Furukawa and Nakai to sit together. Hakamichi can explain anything you two might want to know. And who else would be able to do that better, right?"

I am able to deduce where the pair Mutou was reffering too are, due to the fact that they are now of course shifting their desks to make room for one more, since there is only one desk in that row that is empty. Furukawa and I quickly proceed to take our seats.

I decide to take the seat closest to the pair, a gesture that Furukawa seems to genuinely appreciate. "I take it you two are Hakamichi and Mikado, right? It's nice to meet you."

"Hahaha~!" Her laughter catches us offguard. "It's nice to meet you, too! Shicchan is deaf, so I'm the person who translates things back and forth for her."

"She's... deaf?" Furukawa asks, confused and taken aback by Mikado's bubbly personality.

"Yep yep yep!", Mikado spouts, as Hakamichi proceeds to wave to us both.

"She says it's nice to meet you, too!"

"You two are the new students right? Shicchan, isn't it obvious? Of course they are~! They seem like very interesting people don't they~! Especially Nachan!"

"Eh? I... don't consider myself very interesting... I think... I'm average actually..."

"Nonsense, there is no such thing as an averagely interesting person! You're right Shicchan! Tell us about yourself! Come on! Tell us~!" I'm surprised she is able to keep up with Mikado's seemingly hyper persona.

"Well... I come from Hikarizaka. It's a small city... I used to attend the private high school there. I used to love walking up the cherry blossom -lined path leading to the entrance each spring, but then...", Furukawa looks noticeably downtrodden. I wonder if that is what I look like too, seeing as we seem to be going through very similar circumstances.

"No need to tell us more! Yea, Shicchan! Nachan, if you don't want to talk about it just tell us okay~? We understand it had to be hard to leave your home, but trust us, soon this will be your home too~! I know you'll come to love Yamaku, I just know it!". Furukawa gives a sigh of relief, clearly happy that she is no longer the center of attention of the odd pair. Soon enough I become the target myself.

"Don't think we've forgotten about you Hicchan~!"

"Hicchan... I never really liked that nickname..."

"It fits! You look just like I imagined! Yep! Just like a Hicchan! So, what's your story!"

"Uhm... well..." feeling my heart start pounding faster and faster, I place my hand over my chest and sigh...

"Ah... I see Hicchan! No worries, you don't have to tell us anything either~! Ah, and another thing, you can call me Misha! And you don't have to call Shicchan something so formal like 'Hakamichi' or 'class rep' all the time! Just call her Shicchan~!"

"Shicchan?" A just noticeable patch of pink grows on her cheeks.

"Ahahaha~! Okay, maybe that's too casual. Shicchan says Nachan can call her Shicchan though, I guess she is just embarrassed that a guy is calling her that hahaha~!"

"Uhm," Furukawa speaks up, "you two can call me Nachan if you like, but uhm... Nakai-san..."

"D- don't worry... Furukawa," for whatever reason I find myself blushing, "I don't mind."

"Alrighty then!" Once again Misha surprises us. "Huh? Oh, right, we haven't even touched the assignment! We should start working now, or Shicchan will get mad."

"It seems... pretty long too..." Furukawa adds. "If we want to finish it before class ends we should probably start, though I'm not sure if I can contribute, I shouldn't be in Mutou's class right now after all... I only have him for homeroom..."

I decide to speak up, "Hey, we need all the help we can get. I think you can spare us your time for now right? Plus, I need a companion."

"Eh? Co- companion?!" Furukawa asks, clearly having misinterpreted me.

"Erh, I mean, you know... since we're both new students... we should... stick together, so we don't feel so out of place."

Misha suddenly interrupts us, "Oohohoho, I can already see love bloomin- OW! Okay okay Shicchan! Shicchan is starting to get angry, so we should probably start working now."

Furukawa and I both agree and we commence to work on the assignment.

The assignment is quite challenging to finish though, its rather difficult and pointlessly long. Still, with four of us working on it, we manage to finish a few minutes before the rest of the class, despite having started later.

Soon enough, the clock tower bells ring, signalling the end of the period. Time for lunch.

Without knowing what else to do, Furukawa and I follow Misha, who is beckoning us into the hallway and down the stairs.

We travel all the way to the bottom floor. Just like everything in this school, the cafeteria seems too spacious and oddly modern in contrast to the classic exterior.

"Its the cafeteria~!", such a statement should be able to go without saying.

We proceed down the lunch line, and I'm confronted by the rather long list of menu options, though I'm quickly disappointed when I realize the reason for this is due to some students needing specific diets or else...

"No sweet bean bread..." Furukawa notes, with a hint of sadness, as she too examines the lunch menu.

"Well, it's better then nothing I suppose" I add, trying to cheer her up.

We both end up picking something at random and follow Shizune to a table, sitting opposite of her.

As I begin to chow down on the rather stale food, Misha slams her hands onto the table and then begins to talk. Once again Furukawa seems shocked, I suppose for someone as shy as her, Misha's personality can be quite daunting.

After Shizune gives a few hand gestures, Misha speaks up, "Do you want to know something?"

"About what?" I ask.

"About anything! We're your guides so you should ask if there is something~!"

"Hmmm, I wonder..."

Furukawa is the one who interrupts me this time, "Uhm... does this school have a theater club?"

Shizune proceeds to eagerly wave her fingers about and engages in a short and rather silent conversation with Misha, who then replies, "We most certainly do~! It is quite popular too! I'm sure you would fit right in!"

"Where can I find it?" Furukawa asks.

After Misha flashes a frown for an instant, she responds, "Its on the second floor! We have a few classrooms up there that aren't used for anything other then clubs in fact. I believe it is quite fun too~!"

And that is how lunch went, Furukawa and I eagerly questioned the strange and rather contrasting pair of the bubbly and hyper Misha and the stoic and calm Shizune. Soon enough the bells ring once more, beckoning the students to head back to class.

"Well, I guess it's time to head back to class..."- Furukawa says, rather upset.

"Aww, don't look so down~! We still have you for the rest of the day!", Misha responds, putting on a pouty face, which I admit is rather cute.

Once again, Furukawa flourishes into a blush, clearly she isn't used to these type of social interactions, though it could just be her way of dealing with coming to a completely new environment. "You're right. I just don't want to introduce myself all over again."

Deciding I need to give her some encouragement, I speak. "That's the spirit, don't get your hopes down. If you want, we can meet up again after school. I want to go to the library and I believe its on the second floor too, so we can head up together."

After processing my statement for a moment, she eagerly agrees.

Suddenly, "Wahahahaha! Hicchan, you move so fast~!", I wonder if I will ever get used to this, "You barely met her today and you are already asking her out on a date? Well done! But why didn't you want to go on a date with us?".

After Misha once more gives a cute pouty face, I just give a long sigh and we all head back to class.

After class ended, I head to the nurse's office. Furukawa wants accompany me so we both decide to follow the Dynamic Duo together. The idea of having an entire building for just medical purposes reminded me once more of what school I was attending. Soon enough we arrive, and after a short conversation about the different facilities available here, the Nurse proceeds to remind me of the fact that my life is now fully dependent on an assortment of chemicals.

"So, you already have medication for the arrhythmia, just remember to take your pills every morning and evening or it won't be much help."

He then proceeds to ask me about any sports I played before the incident, and quickly reminds me that I can no longer play said sports. Talking about a heart condition so plainly though reminds me of the days in the hospital, so I would much rather go outside right now, and I think the nurse can see it in my face.

"Good, that's it then. Come meet me if you ever need something."

Finally I am allowed to step out and I see Furukawa waiting patiently.

"Arrhythmia?", huh? Oh, she must have overheard. Well, no turning back now, it would be rude to just sidestep the conversation right now.

"Yes, irregular heart beat, if I'm not careful I could end up in the hospital again. I have to take over a dozen pills practically to stay alive."

"Oh... I'm sorry...", she looks rather guilty of having brought the topic up, which in turn makes me feel guilty about having made her upset.

"Don't worry about it. We all came to this school for some reason or another."

"You're right. Well, if you don't mind... can we..."

Ah, right, theater club. Deciding I have nothing better to do, and keeping my promise with her from earlier today we walk onward, heading back to the main building. It's nice knowing I've made a friend on my first day, and maybe even three if I count Misha and Shizune, maybe this school won't be too bad after all.

Mirage_GSM wrote:Okay, before I start, let me tell you that I am not a fan of Clannad - or more specifically not a fan off Clannad After Story.
The first season is a perfectly average Key Anime with a few interesting heroines (of which Nagisa is not one). The second season is a mess of lazy writing grinding the viewers nose into the places where they should cry and a complete Deaus Ex Machina asspull for a finale.

That does not mean you can't write a good story about it, though.

What makes me doubt more is this:

The story starts off with Hisao about to walk through the entrance, when he runs into Nagisa in a situation not unlike Tomoya's run-in.

If you plan to just rewrite Clannad while replacing Tomoya with Hisao that will bore all fans of Clannad - who will be your main target audience. To make this work you'd have to focus on Nagisa's character… which leads right into the next problem:

Nagisa is an incredibly boring character. Her defining character traits are:
- her illness
- her desire to make a theatre play of a story she heard as a child
- her wacky family
- her infantile like for fluffy Dango plushies

So let's see how that helps you in writing this story:
- her illness is what's commonly known as "key aids" - an unspecified illness that makes a character weak and prone to die when it suits the story or to be mysteriously healed if the MC makes the right choices in the VN.
- the play is highly symbolic. While I found them incredibly boring the way they were directed in the anime, they were also one of the best things about the series from a story standpoint. The problem is they don't make a shred of sense unless you DO make a direct adaption of the story of Clannad with Hisao replacing Tomoya.
- her family will be far off if Nagisa is going to Yamaku.
- So... good luck with making an interesting story about a girl who likes plushies.

Sorry, to be so discouraging. All I'm saying is that it will be very hard to write a captivating story on this premise. To sum up, a few tips how you can try to make it work:
- Before you start writing, try to make a plan for what you want to make of the story; where you want it to go. Don't just plan the first scene and see where it goes from there.
- Think of some actual illness that Nagisa can have and read up on it.
- If you want her to be in a theatre club, think of an original backstory for Nagisa and a play that would fit it symbolically.
- Have her go to Yamaku instead of her repeating her last year at her old school rather than have her repeat it twice.

Do not worry, the first scene is admittedly literally just a mash-up of the beginning of Clannad and Katawa Shoujo, but I already have a pretty good idea of where I want the story to go.

Hisao is quite a different character from Tomoya, whom of course is a delinquent. Hisao on the other hand is never considered a trouble maker or anything, he is just depressed, a natural reaction to such a sudden change in his life. This will be one of the key points in making preventing this story from being just Clannad in Yamaku. In this story line Tomoya still exists, and of course he is the robot in the other world, but never meeting Nagisa means those events would never actually transpire, and it can be assumed that back home in Hikarizaka he falls for one of the other heroines of the show. Hisao of course will meet with all of the five female protagonists of Katawa Shoujo, but I will not bother writing about every single encounter because then that would be blatant plagiarism on my part. And important key in making my story unique is Hisao himself, which I explain in the next paragraph.

Nagisa will not only have lost everything and everyone she loved, (her parents are still in her hometown), she will have someone to relate to as well, someone else who has a life threatening condition, and seeing as they both will eventually fall in love (spoilers?) they will both have to deal with the knowledge that at any moment either of them can practically (literally in Hisao's case specifically) fall dead at any moment, and this is the main premise of the story. If they do fall in love they have to recognize the very real odds of one of them being left behind if the worse is ever to come, and this time there won't be any miraculous resurrection since again, the protagonist is not Tomoya but Hisao, and death in this scenario is of course permanent.

As my inpiration, EurobeatJester, roughly put it, Hisao's condition is more of a plot device used to get him to Yamaku, and then of course he has a few issues primarily in Lilly's route and most notably in the good ending where he is once more placed in the hospital. Knowing someone else with a condition that on the exterior is very similar to his own would likely make Hisao's character itself change quite drastically, and this of course will be something else I use to prevent this being Clannad at Yamaku.

Thank you very much for your suggestions though, its good to know I already have a source of help so I don't feel entirely overwhelmed and I am definitely taking everything you wrote into consideration. I have a lot of experience in writing but not quite in creating original stories, (most of the topics I write about are science focused and not fictional stories) so I appreciate any help I can get .

Okay the writing is mostly okay so far. You already said subsequent chapters wouldn't copy as much text from the original, do that's okay. One thing:

"Excellent. Well, Miss Furukawa, I'm your homeroom teacher, and Mr. Nakai, I'm both your homeroom and science teacher."

Mutou is the homeroom teacher for class 3-3 - Hisao's class. It is very unlikely that he would be homeroom teacher for another class as well, since homeroom is usually at the same time for all classes.
It is however likely that he also teaches science in other classes.
Did you already decide which class you put Nagisa in? 3-2 is Lilly's class, and 3-1 is semi-canonically for the deaf and hearing impaired students, so if she's not in 3-3 she'd probably be in 3-4 which is Emis and Rins class... Though she would probably have gone there immediately instead of spending the first lesson in a different class.

Mirage_GSM wrote:Mutou is the homeroom teacher for class 3-3 - Hisao's class. It is very unlikely that he would be homeroom teacher for another class as well, since homeroom is usually at the same time for all classes. It is however likely that he also teaches science in other classes. Did you already decide which class you put Nagisa in? 3-2 is Lilly's class, and 3-1 is semi-canonically for the deaf and hearing impaired students, so if she's not in 3-3 she'd probably be in 3-4 which is Emis and Rins class... Though she would probably have gone there immediately instead of spending the first lesson in a different class.

I actually based the idea of her spending her first lesson in 3-3 from a real life experience. For whatever reason after transferring I was asked to wait until nearly the end of the day to come to class, so I took English class that day and the day after, (the school had a block schedule so technically I should have taken English only the next day and not again for another day). And as for Mutou being homeroom teacher, again I borrowed this from my new high school, homeroom was not specifically for the students of that science class for example. Though in hindsight I should not be basing so much on my experiences and to be more canonically accurate on the Yamaku system, so I'll probably go back and actually change that.

I suppose the easiest choice would be for Nagisa to simply have the same class as Hisao's, which would make sense since it seems 3-3 is for students with generally not impairing disabilities with the exception of Miki, Shizune, Hanako and maybe some other students. Hanako of course is severely scarred, but that is it, she still fully functional limbs, Shizune of course has Misha as her aid, and Miki only has her hand missing.

Thanks for pointing this out, I'll definitely go back and change this up, originally I felt borrowing my real life school's system would help avoid the idea of Nagisa having Hisao's every single class, but I didn't actually realize how the system worked, (more like I didn't fully acknowledge it) until you mentioned, so rest assured I'll go back and fix this.

Act I
Scene II

I decided to split Scene I into Scenes I and II since I was already pushing around 3000 words and I had not yet run across the other girls. However, due to this story being centered around Nagisa, I will likely only mention meeting the others in a flashback to keep the newer scenes as original as possible, so let's get this started. Notice also how Hisao ends up going to the library on his first day of class, not his second. This isn't an oversight on my part, I decided using the search for the theater room would bring the pair up to the library but anyway, please enjoy!

After returning from the Nurse, Furukawa and I walk back to the main building and head up stairs. It is only then when I realize that we have a problem. "None of the doors are marked."

"Well, I'm sure someone on this floor knows where the theater club meets right?"

"Yea, uhm, let's check here, the door is open so maybe there is someone inside." The door is not quite fully open but just enough to seem inviting, so I go ahead and open the door. "Oh, its the library." Well, at least I know where to find it no-

*SLAM* "OWEY!!"

"Hmm?", a cute looking freckled girl with glasses suddenly shoots up from behind the front desk, looking quite disheveled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I we didn't mean to startle you! We're so sorry!", Furukawa says, noticeable worried for the girl, who is now rubbing her forehead intensively.

"Oh no no no no! It's not your fault, I am sorry I have made you two worry over me! I had just dropped a pen and was bent over to pick it up and I didn't hear anyone come in so I was a bit surprised and I'm sorry I am not doing my job uhm how can I help you two- oh, are you two new here?"

Wow, is this what Furukawa is like on caffeine? "We came up here looking for where the theater club gets together, we decided to check in here to see if we could find anyone that could direct us there. Though this is a personal victory for me, I was hoping to find the library too."

"Oh, well I'm afraid that the theater club won't actually be meeting up today, they usually get together next door actually. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet! My name is Yuuko, I'm the librarian." She proceeds to give a sharp bow that leaves me squinting at the prospect of her slamming her head onto her desk. Furukawa noticeable flinches too.

"Well, thank you. Nakai, you said you wanted to come to the library right? I guess we can stay here for a while. Excuse me Yuuko, do you have anything on theater?"

"We have a few plays but that is about it I'm afraid, but here, let me show you!", Yuuko quickly grabs Furukawa by the arm and drags her off to a random isle.

Taking that as my queue to go off on a little adventure of my own, I decide to start looking around the unfamiliar isles myself. There are quite a few interesting titles here actually. At least I know I will have something to entertain myself with, though I can't exactly say my first day here is going exactly awry. I've already had a chance to talk to a number of cute girls after all.

At this point Hisao of course runs into Hanako. In order to not copy this entire moment I decide to skip Hanako running scared out of the library. However, this is when I decide Hisao gets to meet Lilly.

"Uhm, wow." I don't really know what else to say.

I thought Furukawa was shy. I had noticed that Hanako seems to keep to herself a lot in class, its almost as if she is invisible, but I figured I couldn't really know the happenings at this school after only a few hours. I suppose my prediction of her shy personality was a bit of an understatement. I was genuinely worried she was going to have some sort of panic attack right then and there.

"Hello? Yuuko, are you there?", a light, almost sweet sounding voice calls out as I hear the door open.

By this time it appears Yuuko has returned to her desk, and fortunately there is no ear-splitting sound of head hitting desk as Yuuko once again is caught surprised by the entrance of another student. Another student... it takes me a few seconds to process what I am seeing here. A stunningly beautiful girl walks in after Yuuko responds to her, asking about the whereabouts of Hanako.

"Uhm. She just ran off I'm afraid. I- I think I scared her away." I find my self stuttering, not knowing how to react in a situation like this. I notice something peculiar though. Cloudy blue eyes, and using a walking stick. Blind maybe? At least partially.

"Oh, not again. I was hoping to find her here. Well, I guess I should be heading off, but oh, where are my manners. I take it you are a new student yes?"

Her calm, almost aloof personality catches me slightly off guard, as well as everything else about her. "Yes, I just finished my first class today as a matter of fact." It is only now that I notice Furukawa has finally returned with at least five or six different books of varying degrees of thickness in her hands. I decide to go help her.

"Thank you. Oh, uhm... hello..." I can't help but feel that Furukawa is somewhat intimidated by the girl's presence, though most likely for rather different reasons then my own.

"Oh? Someone else? Did you two transfer together? Brother and sister perhaps?"

"N- no. Uhm, we just happened to transfer at the same time...". Surprisingly enough, after the ordeal with Hanako, I find Furukawa's difficulty to interact with others only a mild hindrance.

"Ah, I see. My name is Lilly, Lilly Satou. It is a pleasure to meet you both," a sweet smile flourishes on her face, and I find myself blushing.

"Nagisa Furukawa. It's a pleasure to meet you too," Furukawa looks noticeably calmer now, though still a bit reserved.

"Hisao Nakai, it's nice meeting you too."

"Hisao and Nagisa, what beautiful names. Well, I am sorry for being rude, but I am afraid I have to go after Hanako. I cannot leave her on her own for very long unfortunately. I hope you two have a good afternoon," she then gives a quick bow and turns about, walking out the door, walking stick waving with the regularity of a metronome.

"Nakai, you're blushing,"

"Huh? Oh, uhm," her comment only makes the burning sensation in my cheeks grow even warmer.

"Uhm. Well, anyway, I found some books. I think I will be heading off to my dorms now, I'm quite tired."

Appreciating the change of topic, I respond, "Yea, same here. You go on ahead, I left my books on a shelf in the back. It was nice meeting you by the way."

"Eh?! Oh, uhm. ye- yes! It was nice... meeting you too...", once again, Furukawa is staring at a random point on the floor unable to face me directly. After Yuuko checks out her books, Furukawa finally faces me and gives me a quick wave and then walks out of the room.

"Wait!", for some reason I find myself yelling out to her.

"Hm? Nakai-san? Is something wrong?"

"Well, I just wanted to get a bit more familiar with the school grounds. I figure that if I head to the dorms now I won't come out again until tomorrow morning. Want to come along?"

"Are you sure? I don't mean to impose..."

"Impose? Not at all, I'm the one inviting you aren't I? I want you to come along."

"After a bit of crimson lights up her face, she agrees to come along.

.........
……
…

As we walk out of the main building, we decide to head to the track field. I can't think of any good topic for conversation, so despite how much I wish not to bring it up, I ask the obvious question...

"So, Furukawa, why exactly did you have to come to Yamaku?"

After stopping for a moment, she speaks up, and we continue walking, "I have an illness. I've had it for as long as I can remember. My parents took me to several doctors but none of them knew what I had."

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"It’s okay," she responds, no longer shy, but more depressed then anything else, "I would feel fine for months, and then suddenly I would get sick again. I would get a really high fever, I would feel freezing cold, and sometimes I would even pass out. Then I started my final year at my old high school. I was getting excited; I was proud that I was going to be a member of society soon, and once again I fell ill. That was when one of my doctors finally told me of Yamaku. He talked about the medical staff and how it caters to those with physical disabilities. I was desperate. I wanted to graduate at Hikarizaka. It was the city I was born in, the city my parents were born in. It’s a beautiful town. I don’t think it can qualify as a city, it’s bigger than the town down below, but nowhere near as big as Sendai. But that was one of the things I liked, everyone I know and love was only a short walk away.”

Only now do I notice tear streaks on her cheeks. I really screwed up this time didn’t I?

“But my parents forced me to come. I know they did it for my own good, because they love me, but I would rather stay with them and repeat a year then leave them and-”

Suddenly she stops in her tracks. Her tears are now running freely down her face. She falls face first and only just manages to stop herself with her arms. I cannot just stand here and let her stay like this can I? But what can I do? I barely met her today; it’s not like I could know how to comfort her. Oh screw it. I reach down and reach my hand out. She reaches out, and pulls herself up. I then decide to finally speak up.

“I have arrhythmia.”

“Eh?” unsurprisingly, she is not familiar with the term.

“Specifically, Long QT syndrome. Apparently I’ve had it since I was born. It’s this abnormality with the way the heart’s electrical system works. It can be fatal. The funny thing is that I’ve gone most of my life without ever imagining I could have some sort of dangerous heart condition. And I think even funnier, no, more pitiful than going my entire life like nothing was wrong, was the reason why I finally found out I was sick. This is rather embarrassing but I actually got sick when my crush confessed to me.”

I still remember it clearly: the snow gently falling, the wind blowing through the trees, the sound of Iwanako timidly calling out my name, and then the world slowly fading to black around me...

“The surprise actually stopped my heart. I ended up staying in the hospital for months, and I had to get a surgery. The girl would come and visit often, but we never actually had anything to talk about. Soon enough we started drifting apart and her visits became more and more scarce. Eventually she simply stopped coming. Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t ever scared, more like frustrated with myself. I couldn’t even prevent the girl I’ve crushed over for months from leaving. I couldn’t go to the freaking restroom without a nurse accompanying me. I’m better now, but only because I take over a dozen pills every day.”

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have made you talk about this,” she is still crying.

“Don’t apologize. I was the one that decided to ask why you ended up here. I assumed it was only fair that I told my story too. Come on, we’re going to make a scene if we stand here for too long. It’s already getting dark; we should probably head to our dorms now.”

“Th- thank you… Hisao…”

“Eh?” the voice is so quite I almost can’t hear it.

“Thank you, for listening to my story.”

“Oh… no problem. Thanks for listening to me too… Nagisa?”

Finally a smile shows up on her face, stained with tear tracks, “Yes, Nagisa. I’ll see you in class tomorrow Hisao.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you too.”
…
Well that was… interesting to say the least. Suddenly I feel really tired. Well, time to head to the dorms anyway, I need to start unpacking.

When I saw this was a Clannad/Katawa shoujo crossover, I was half hoping for it to be Fuuko. Nagisa is a good choice too .

-EDIT- After watching more of the Anime, I see why you chose Nagisa.

If anyone is following this I am sorry that I am not updating very often. I was originally planning to have a scene written once a week to post each Friday but seeing as I really want to get serious about this I'm going to take my time with it So please do not think I have abandoned the project after only two scenes, it is simply that I am taking my time writing and rewriting to make it as original a story as possible

Oh, here I thought you already had Nagisa die off.

Act I

Scene III

I decided to skip ahead to the point in Act I during which Hisao is tasked with getting supplies for the Student Council. He runs into Rin of course, but this time finds Nagisa already struggling to keep up with Rin's rather eccentric personality.

The classrooms closest to ours are designated belonging to classes 3-1 and 3-2 on the right side, and 3-4 on the left side, each door looking exactly the same.

Further down the corridor still with identical doors, are rooms that I didn't think were used for classes. I guess the art room is not a classroom as such.

As I am about to push open the furthest door, I recognize a familiar voice.

"Wait, what do you mean?", yep, that is Nagisa's voice. She's talking with someone, but I can't pin down with whom.

"That is the question indeed. I don't even know what I mean," well she sounds like an... interesting person to say the least. I better go in before Nagisa breaks down.

"Then, why are you- oh, Hisao!", she looks clearly relieved.

Sitting on a desk is a short-haired girl; curiously wearing a boy's uniform, with a fork between her toes, a morsel of food stuck firmly on the end. She turns her attention to her food, still talking to Nagisa.

"Is he your friend?", she asks.

"Oh yes, he is a new student here too."

She then turns her attention to me, "Hello".

The girl stuffs the forkful in her mouth, and is now staring at me expectantly while chewing. This is a bit awkward.

"Umm... hello. I was told to pick up some supplies from here. For some festival stalls I think. I didn't think there would be someone here."

Simultaneously, Nagisa and the armless girl respond, "You too?"

"What do you mean, 'you too'?"

"Shizune and Misha asked me to pick up supplies as well. They said I should be helping the school prepare for the upcoming festival, and I agree but I'm a little overwhelmed..."

Damn those girls. Give anyone but Nagisa this burden, she has enough trouble talking with others as it is. "Well, I guess we can help each other then, if we split the list then we should be able to get everything sooner."

A quick comparison of our lists however soon reveals to us both that the Student Council had intended for the two of us to scavenge in their place, as the lists are both completely different.

"They planned this from the start. Oh well, let's just get to work, no use in complaining."

After a few minutes of searching through the various cabinets and confirming if we both have everything we need, we proceed to exit the room, only to be immediately confronted by Misha.

"SURPRISE!"

"GAH!", the shock makes Nagisa leap back and she nearly falls over, thankfully stopping herself against the wall.

Gasping, she speaks up, "I- I didn't even hear you!"

"Wahahaha~!" Her laughter just then was far more ominous than obnoxious. Creepy.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"You took so long that we had to come check what's wrong. That's no good Hicchan~."

"Th- that's my fault. I'm sorry, I made Hisao help me with the items on the list. Some of the paint cans were too heavy for me and I- I"

I grab her firmly by the shoulders and speak, "hey, calm down. You have nothing to apologize for. Don't try doing something you cannot do, it will just be a wasted effort, and don't be ashamed of asking for help."

I then redirect my attention to Misha, "which reminds me, why the hell did you two make us both your slaves just then?"

"Hey now, don't act like we didn't do anything either. I found plywood, but everything else is still missing because you two are flirting."

"Flirting? No no no no no no. I- I would never do something like that", Nagisa quickly answers.

"No need to deny it so quickly" I retort.

"I mean, maybe, but I would need to get to know you better, and I think its too embarrassing even then. And besides, I don't think anybody would like me since I don't think I'm that cute and-"

"Come on now, don't start again. You're cute."

Misha quickly sees the opportunity which I should have seen myself coming from a mile away. "Seeeee~? You two are doing it again! No wonder it took you two so long!"

"Alright alright. So, are we done here?"

"Yes yes, Shicchan says you two can go now."

"I didn't know we needed her permission but thank you," I give a smirk and a quick bow in Shizune's direction and then begin to walk away.

"Hey, Nagisa, I'm going into the town later this afternoon, would you like to come along?"

"Oh, yes, sure. I was meaning to go to town myself..."

"Great, let's head off around four, I'll wait for you at the gate."

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Going on a date are you?", Misha apparently cannot stop herself from teasing us.

"GAH! Why are you two still here?!"

"Shicchan says she wishes the both of you the best of luck". I look at her, a large smile planted on her face. So Shizune can joke around too can she?

And so I decide to return to my dorm, my work duties over with.
.........
......
...

The sun is still high in the sky. The heat of summer is in full swing, and I can already begin to feel a few drops of sweat form on my forehead. As I walk to a tree next to the gate I spot Nagisa walking toward me.

"Hello, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, shall we go then?"

"Yes, lets."

...

Very quickly I notice the rather awkward silence forming between us, and so I decide to speak up.

"So, why do you need to go into town?"

"Hmm?"

"You said earlier you had something to do, picking up groceries or something?"

"Oh, I am not really a fan of the school provided food. I wanted to go earlier but Misha caught me just as I was headed to my dorm to change, and you know what happened then."

She is still rather timid, but at least she appears more comfortable holding a conversation with me now.

"Well, I think it will be fun. Its the first time into town for the both of us right?"

"Right."

"I think I saw a park while I first came through, maybe we could check it out if you'd like?"

"Ye- yes, if it doesn't get too late. I mean, if you don't mind?"

"No worries, I might need a rest by the time I get down there anyway," the walk down is quite long after all, and by the time we are in the town I find myself already exhausted.

"Are you alright?", Nagisa has this rather worried expression on her face, one that I haven't seen since I was in the hospital, one that I would rather not have to see again.

"Yes *pant pant pant* I'm *pant pant pant* fine, I just need some rest *pant pant pant*"

"There is a bench up ahead, come on, we can rest there," she links her arm under mine and walks me over. How embarrassing, having a girl with her own set of health problems take care of me.

"Thanks," I grumble, "I guess I just haven't had a chance to keep myself in shape recently."

"You're still breathing quite heavily, are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Yea, I'll be alright... Just give me a few minutes to recover and we can keep going, if there is a shop in this small town we should be getting close," at least that is what I think. This town might be tiny, but we could still get lost if my luck is bad...

Thankfully, it is only a short walk away.

"Auramart huh? I guess this will have to do."

We walk in and split up, checking off our grocery lists as we go. Nagisa finishes off sooner than I and is already waiting outside by the time I am finished with my own list.

"Thanks for waiting, shall we go to the park then?", I ask, wondering if she is still in the mood. "I'm not so sure about it now that we have to carry around these bags but how do you feel about it?"

"If you don't want to go we can always go ba-", I decide to cut her off, she needs to be selfish once in a while after all.

"How do YOU feel about it?"

"I... I would like to go..."

"Very well, I think its this way." And so we walk, the park is only another few minutes walk from the mart. It's a bit smaller than what I remembered, but its still nice either way.

We walk over to a bench, set down our groceries and sit down, relaxing in the light of a now dropping sun. Its already cooler than it was when we started our walk, and it could even start getting a bit chilly at this rate, but right now, its perfect.

Nagisa pulls out a lollipop she purchased, and then hands me one too.

"Thanks."

"Its a nice park, it reminds me of home."

For once, Nagisa seems to be initiating the conversation, which is a nice change, "Oh yeah?"

"There is a park right across from where I live. My dad would always take me to play baseball, though usually my mom and I would just watch him play with other kids there. There was even a pond there, next to the playing field, and a path with benches around it."

"That sounds nice."

"Yes, it was nice..."

"What was your home like?", I decide to step in, noticing she seems to be regretting having opened her mouth.

"Its a small two-story building, a bakery takes up the front while my actual home takes up the back and upper floor."

"Bakery you say?", this has genuinely piqued my interest.

"Yes, I don't quite know why, but for some reason my parents quit their old jobs. They decided they would start the bakery instead. My mom was confident that she could do well making bread, but unfortunately she is actually quite terrible at it. My dad had to take over in her stead, but people still buy my mom's bread to be nice."

"Wow, bakery huh? And what about your school? How was it like?"

"Big, maybe bigger than Yamaku, not counting the school grounds of course." She definitely has a point there, My school was about the same size as well, but I can't think of any school that has grounds quite as expansive as Yamaku's.

"It's located on the top of a large hill, much like Yamaku. Its more or less split in to two separate buildings: one for the actual classes and one for clubs and the library. There are other buildings but those are the main two. The path leading up to the school is lined by cherry trees, and I loved walking beneath the blossoms each spring. It was a tough climb though, sometimes I didn't know if I could push myself up the hill, but my friends were there to help out. I studied there for two years, up until I got sick last winter. I had to stay home for several months, and my teachers said I would likely have to repeat a year if I was out for much longer, but my doctors recommended Yamaku, and well, here I am."

"Sorry to interrupt, but its starting to get late, we should start heading back. So, you were saying?"

As we pick up our bags and begin walking back she decides to end the conversation, "Sorry, I... don't really want to talk about this anymore..."

"Oh, its fine. Here, let me help you with your bags."

...

Half-way up the hill and already I feel absolutely awful. I can already feel an aching sensation deep in my chest, and once again, I start to heave in and out. This time though, I notice that Nagisa isn't doing so well herself either.

"Nagisa? You alright?"

"Ye- yes... I'm fi-", she suddenly drops to the floor on all floors.

"Nagisa!", I immediately drop down and try to help her up, "Come on, sit up." I pull her arm around my neck and desperately try to carry her up the hill, but this only worsens my own physical state.

After only a few seconds of helping her up, I can no longer continue either. I try to lower myself slowly to prevent Nagisa from getting hurt.

"Come on Nagisa! Get up!"

"I- I'm sorry, this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't decided to go to the park."

"Don't give me that," I say, the both of us panting heavily, "we had to come down into the town anyway, it would have happened either way..."

Thankfully a fellow student coming up the hill sees us, and runs over.

"Are you alright? I need to call for help!"

"Wa- wait...", as suddenly as she arrives she runs up the hill at full speed, what looks to be prosthetic limbs carrying her up like a bullet.

All I can do as my heart finally begins to calm down is control my breath and to help keep Nagisa off the floor. What an awful scene this must be to any onlookers: two kids desperately fighting for life because they are too weak to walk up a hill... But at the very least I'm no longer feeling the pain.
...

A few minutes pass and I see someone drive down the hill in a car. A nurse steps out and tells us both to come onboard, but not before checking Nagisa's condition.

"Her blood pressure is fine, and her heart rate is alright. Come on, help me get her in the car, we need to take her into the office."

As I strap the seatbelt across Nagisa's chest, I can't help but notice what an awful turn today has taken...
.........
......
...

The next morning, I decide to head over to the office to check on her.

Thankfully, she seems to have recovered.

"I feel a lot better now, I guess I was just really tired is all. A night's rest helped me a lot."

"That's good," that's definitely good. The guilt of having invited her to come along was killing me all night long, so knowing that she is fine at least has helped deal with some of the pressure. While you be able to make it to class tomorrow?"

"The nurse suggests I take tomorrow off but I think I'll be able to attend."

"That's great, just don't push yourself too hard alright? If you cannot come tomorrow I'll bring you the school work so that you don't fall behind."

"Thank you. And what about you? Are you alright? I hope I didn't make you get any worse trying to help me up the hill."

"Oh, don't worry, I was already feeling ill when we got into town remember? It wasn't your fault. And I'm fine now, it was just due to my physical condition. I told you I haven't done any exercise in a long time, right?", I put on a smile, trying to help her calm down.

"Right... thank you. For helping me..."

"No worries, it was the least I could do. You decided to give me company after all, I couldn't just leave you there."

...

There it is.

...

The silence...

...

That same damned silence...

...

The same silence that plagued me and Iwanako when I was at the hospital, only that this time it isn't me lying immobile...

...

No, it's different. Nagisa is going to get better soon. She even says that she will be able to go back to class tomorrow.

...

I need to get these thoughts out of my head...

...

"Well, I'm going to let you rest. I'm headed back to my dorm, I didn't get any sleep last night."

"Right, thank you Hisao, and good bye."

"Good bye Nagisa, I'll try to check back on you later today alright?"

"Okay."

...

The only words that pop to my head are, "See ya..."

"See ya..."

I turn around, open the door, and step out.

Is this your idea of a date, Misha?

Sorry to say but that scene in the art room was just unneccessary and disjointed.
Introducing Rin - if you can even call it that - served no purpose, and the two pretty much ignored her after only two lines. Then they carry the stuff they were assigned to collect and that is supposed ly very heavy - into the corridor in front of the art room and leave Misha to take care of it
Later on you describe Nagisa's school in detail. Readers who have seen Clannad won't need that description since they know it, and those who haven' t seen it won't care.

Actually, the knowledge where Nagisa went to school and where she lived gives us a lot more background on her character than if it wasn't mentioned.

Omg someone responded. I'll be completely honest I haven't been working on this at all since my last post. I wanted to incorporate the stuff mentioned but I hit writers block and just haven't gotten around to it. Looks like karma came around because my laptop's hardrive got fried the day after I began writing the next scene. You guys are just going to have to be really patient with me

You start off with some of my pet peeves right away.

First off, we know who's in Mutou's class already. You character isn't one of them. It's a minor gripe, but one that always throws me out of the story. I always have to ask this. Would it be too hard to have your character in the same class as Emi and Rin and just run into Hisao later?

Second, Hisao starts Yamaku after the school year has already been going on for some time, and even then he ends up getting to class late.

Having two students start on the same day well into the year always feels forced. Especially when the other student is otherwise healthy enough to have been attending Yamaku since the beginning of the school year. Hisao had an excuse. He just got out of the hospital.

I'm not a big fan or repeating scenes that already happened in the game with just a new character added in. Having her be in another class and meeting Hisao later will solve most of these problems.

At this point Hisao of course runs into Hanako. In order to not copy this entire moment I decide to skip Hanako running scared out of the library. However, this is when I decide Hisao gets to meet Lilly.

I appreciate you not just copying the scene again, but that author's note right there just destroys any immersion I had in the story.

You'd be better off replacing it with a few lines that cover the encounter.

Something along the lines of,

…

Speaking of girls, I see one of my classmates as I turn the corner, the dark purple haired girl with the scars on her face. Our conversation was … awkward to say the least, and a few minutes later and a near panic attack on her part, I'm standing there trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong.

Probably not that Exactly, but it gets the point across that the encounter happened without the use of an author's note.