Katawa Shoujo Forums

As the title says. Since this is my first time writing something not school-related, any kind of advice or feedback is welcome!

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Dear Iwanako,


First of all I want to apologize for taking so long to write a reply. To be completely honest, at first I was really bothered by your letter. It felt like an unwelcome intruder from the past, and my first reaction was to throw it immediately and try to forget about it. It was a reminder of what my life could have been, and when I received it...well, it felt like reopening a wound that had nearly completely healed. That's what I thought back then.

Now, though, things have changed. A few weeks back I have been put in a situation very much like yours at the time after my heart attack. I met a person that I cared about, but who started feeling like I did: in your words "distant and disheartened". At first I was completely clueless, not really knowing how to act around said person. But the your letter came to mind. I took the time to dig it back, and read it carefully. I realized that the words you wrote then applied perfectly to the situation at hand. I understood that what I needed to do was to talk openly to that person, without worrying about the possible consequences. So I did, and eventually everything worked out fine.

What I want to say with this letter is that now I understand how you felt when visiting me in that sterile hospital room last winter. I have gone through the same kind of despair, and now I want to thank you for helping me realize what was the right thing to do. Even if I hated it at first, your letter helped me sort out my past and find a way to improve my future. So, thank you, Iwanako. I really mean it.

Best wishes
Hisao

Hi! It's a brave attempt, what you've done. Simple, direct. Doesn't convey much about Hisao's current (Yamaku) situation, though.

The form of the letter is very Anglophone. That's fine, but it comes across as even more Anglo than Hisao in KS.

Maybe it could be expanded or converted into a fanfic where Iwanako and Hisao become penpals, or something? Just some possibilities I'm seeing...

brythain wrote:Hi! It's a brave attempt, what you've done. Simple, direct. Doesn't convey much about Hisao's current (Yamaku) situation, though.

The form of the letter is very Anglophone. That's fine, but it comes across as even more Anglo than Hisao in KS.

Could you note some differences between Japanese and English writing?

Regarding the fic, it's nice. Short little one shots are kewl.

swampie2 wrote:

brythain wrote:Hi! It's a brave attempt, what you've done. Simple, direct. Doesn't convey much about Hisao's current (Yamaku) situation, though.

The form of the letter is very Anglophone. That's fine, but it comes across as even more Anglo than Hisao in KS.

Could you note some differences between Japanese and English writing?

Regarding the fic, it's nice. Short little one shots are kewl.

Japanese letter writing tends to have a fixed format. Apart from the fixed relationship between the opening phrase (equivalent to 'Dear XYZ...') and the ending phrase, there's also a 'standard' first paragraph which has a limited range of topics: the recipient's health, the changing of the seasons or seasonal greetings, that kind of thing. Then comes the matter of the letter, the real material, which is never 'completely honest' — it's not dishonest, it just tends to be a little bit more circular in approach. Finally a closing 'standard' paragraph is applied.

The tone of the work, however, is about right — serious and respectful, as befits a relationship that neither party is sure about any more, and which is unlikely to be the way it used to be. I do think that Hisao might have replied in a way that mirrors Iwanako's letter — talk a bit more about events in school, for example.

brythain wrote:Hi! It's a brave attempt, what you've done. Simple, direct. Doesn't convey much about Hisao's current (Yamaku) situation, though.

The form of the letter is very Anglophone. That's fine, but it comes across as even more Anglo than Hisao in KS.

Maybe it could be expanded or converted into a fanfic where Iwanako and Hisao become penpals, or something? Just some possibilities I'm seeing...

Thank for your feedback! I wasn'really aware of the kind of differences there are between typical English and Japanese letters, but I'll try to keep them in mind now that you pointed them out again, thanks for your input and encouragement!

swampie2 wrote:Regarding the fic, it's nice. Short little one shots are kewl.

Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to read my scribblings!