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Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route (Update 7

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:11 pm
by AntonSlavik020
Making Wizard of Oz references is going to be a thing for Asuka isn't it? I'm OK with this. Another good chapter, keep it up.

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route (Update 7

Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 7:42 am
by Mirage_GSM
Okay, you know about the SPaG issues, so I'll just mention one:
that coordinate to which prize you’ve one.
won

As for the story, the first part with Emi and Rin felt quite redundant and could have been summarized in a few sentences.
Also, in that part you were a lot less descriptive than in the rest of the story - probably because you took the dialogue from the VN and neglected to add the descriptions that are neccessary in prose writing. It makes that section feel a bit bland. It also felt like you tried too hard to fit some of the lines into your story...

The rest of the chapter is a lot better.
“Ikuno, you want it?” turning towards her.
So Molly is his last choice, huh?
“Yeah, he said something about having a picnic on the rooftop.
He didn't in this story - at least you didn't mention it.

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route (Update 7

Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:09 pm
by Path
AntonSlavik020 wrote:Making Wizard of Oz references is going to be a thing for Asuka isn't it?
Well you're not that far from what I plan. More like references to American movies. She also quotes Stars Wars in this scene, but I guess it's more subtle than I thought. :lol:
Mirage_GSM wrote:As for the story, the first part with Emi and Rin felt quite redundant and could have been summarized in a few sentences.

It could have been, but since this scene was the school's festival, I kind if use this to introduce most of the characters. And to also use this to see if I'm able to write Emi and Rin in character, as they are the only characters besides Hisao, that have distinct personalities than the rest. But I agree it could have been more descriptive and some parts less force.
Mirage_GSM wrote:So Molly is his last choice, huh?
Ikuno mentions that the dog is cute, so Hisao might have thought she wanted it compared to Molly saying congratulations.

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route (Update 7

Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 10:01 pm
by AntonSlavik020
Path wrote:
AntonSlavik020 wrote:Making Wizard of Oz references is going to be a thing for Asuka isn't it?
Well you're not that far from what I plan. More like references to American movies. She also quotes Stars Wars in this scene, but I guess it's more subtle than I thought. :lol:
As a Star Wars fan(I've read the majority of the books) I'm disappointed I didn't catch it.

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route (Update 7

Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 11:12 pm
by HoneyBakedHam
Ohhh, I know what you're referring to. I had a sneaky suspicion the first time I read it (I thought my inner nerd was kicking in).

"Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 9/16)

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:40 pm
by Path
Act 2: Body

Scene 1:Daily Routine


*beep* *beep* *beep*

I wake to the sound of my alarm clock. I welcome the sound with the bang of my fist. Lifting my head from under the pillow, I am greeting by the light invading my eyes and I rub them to get adjusted. I look at the clock to check the time, 6 o’clock. It’s too early for any student to be awake. No, scratch that, it’s too early for most students besides one twintail track member and her running partner.

“Why did I ever agree to this?” I think to myself, as I sit up on my bed. The answer becomes clear when I look over to my desk. 17 pill bottles stare directly at me, as if to tell me, “We are the reason.” Not wanting to keep my partner waiting and fear any punishment, I get up from my bed and put on my old soccer clothes, before swallowing my pills. I take one more look at my bed before I head out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~


The sun is beginning to wake up as well when I leave the boys’ dorm. There is a gentle wind blowing on the right side of my face and a chill soon follows it. The birds are chirping and there are some students wandering about. It seems like there is more life at this hour than I thought. I begin to make my way to the track field.

While walking there, I think back to yesterday. The school’s festival was yesterday and I made some new friends. Molly’s group of friends seems like a nice bunch to hang out with. Asuka is very loud and energetic person. If she had the chance, she might have ran around like a little kid at the festival. Ikuno seems like a decent person. She really didn’t say much, but she looked like she enjoyed herself at the festival. Takashi on the other hand, I think he doesn’t like me for one reason or another. I don’t know what his deal is but I hope we can become friends. It’ll be nice to have a guy friend that doesn’t ramble on about crazy theories about girls at this school.

Still thinking about yesterday’s events, I make it to the track field. Emi spots me while she does some of her stretches. She walks up towards me with a smile on her face. “I thought you wouldn’t show ‘cause of how busy you were yesterday,” she laughs.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you with three other girls at the game booths. You looked like some sort of master of romance when they crowded around you when you won.”

Master of what? What does she mean by that? Well I did hang out with a few girls yesterday, but I was trying to make some new friends yesterday. The thought hanging out with a group of girls doesn’t sound all that bad.

Emi waves her hand in front of my face to get my attention, “You boys are all the same. Bet you think you’re hot stuff now.”

I shake my head to brush away those thoughts, “No… I was thinking about…how fun running in the morning can be. It’ll be nice to get in better shape, knowing I have someone to run with.”

“Stop lying and start stretching,” she commands while giving a stern look, but she breaks into a smile. “You’re wasting time and I want you show to me how excited you are about running.”

Taking a seat on the grass, Emi sits across me and begins to stretch. I follow her lead and instructions. The tension of my leg muscles begins to hurt as I try to touch my toes. It feels like my hamstring is going to rip.

“Okay, now hold my hands,” my running partner instructs.

Hold her hands. Is this some kind of trick? Is she trying to lead me on? “What for?” my voice cracks a little.

“It’s for a stretch and it requires another person for it,” Emi answers. “Plus, like I said yesterday, you have to at least try to have a chance to get with me,” she winks. “I’m not that easy. Now hold my hands.”

I follow her orders and hold her hands. Emi’s hands are small and soft to the touch. I could get used to holding her hands. Suddenly, I feel her pull me closer to her and feel my back pulling. Afterwards, she tells me to pull and I do.

“Now lie on your back and lift your leg up,” she stands up and walks closer to me as I lie down. She grabs my right leg and pushes it towards me with her body against my leg. I think I can get used to these morning stretches if it means this.

After a few more stretches, we make our way to the track. Emi looks back towards me. “Take it easy if you are having trouble. I don’t want a repeat of the other day,” she looks down with her eyes drooping for a bit.

“Hey don’t beat yourself about it. It was my fault for trying to show off to a track star. I guess I thought I was hot stuff,” trying my best to cheer her up.

She looks up to meet my eyes and returns a smile. “Good, ‘cause I don’t want you to use that against me when I want something from you,” she winks before she leaves me in a trail of dust. I soon follow her.

Finishing my last lap, I feel my veins begin to pump battery acid throughout my body. The pain starts to become unbearable. I start to slow my speed down to a gentle stroll, before Emi spots me and slows down as well.

“You doing okay there Hisao?” she asks wiping sweat off her forehead, but I don’t think she’s broken a sweat yet.

“I’m…good. Just…reached my…limit already,” I reply, huffing out those words.

“Put your arms over your head. That way you can breathe easier.”

I do as I’m told and put my arms up. Breathing has become significantly easier now. My lungs are able to fully expand, as I feel my heartbeat slow down to a steadier pace---, well steady enough for a person that has an irregular heartbeat. I continue to focus on my breathing, inhaling and exhaling. Everything around me begins to turn silent and it feels like the world around me is becoming non-existent.

“Earth to Hisao,” I hear Emi call out to me. I open my eyes and see Emi waving her hand in front of my face.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. You look out of it and thought maybe I should check on you.”

“Oh, I guess I kind of spaced out for a sec,” I smile, laughing over the situation.

Emi joins in on my laughter. Her laugh is pretty cute. It suits her well for some reason and I would like to hear it more often. After our laughing dies down, she looks at me with a curious stare.

“You look so peaceful .”

“I guess running tired me out so much that I felt like sleeping!” I laugh as I rub the back of my head.

“Well anyway, I’m going to run some more laps. You should stop for today, you did really great and I’m impressed that you came today at all,” she smiles at me. “See you tomorrow morning?”

I nod my head as I smile back, “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”


Emi turns around and continues with her morning run. I stand there for a while before she laps me again; I head back to the boys’ dorm.

~~~~~~~~~~


I can’t explain it, but taking a nice long shower after running seems so relaxing. Spending a lot more time in the shower than I usually do, I had to dress quickly because I thought I was going to be late for class. A quick glance at the clock in my room tells me that I have about 20 minutes before class starts. I contemplate on whether to head out to class or continue sitting in my desk chair. Staying in this chair feels right, but I can’t stay here for too long.

Looking over at my desk, I see a 100 yen coin shine. Maybe I should leave this up to the coin to dictate my action. I grab the coin and flip it in the air. Heads, I head out to class, tails, I continue to sit and relax. The coin flips almost to the ceiling and I grab it before it lands on the desk. I slap the coin onto my left wrist to reveal the results. “Okay, maybe two out of three,” I tell myself, disappointed by the outcome of the flip.

~~~~~~~~~~

That is the last time I decide to flip a coin I think to myself as I walk into class. Most of the students look dead tired and I see a couple of empty seats. Takashi spots me and we lock eyes, but he looks down again at the book on his desk. “Well, good morning to you too,” I whisper under my breath.

The rest of the students walk in gradually and I see Misha drag her feet, followed by Shizune, who looks annoyed by Misha‘s tiredness. They take their seats and Misha turns to me, “Morning Hicchan~!”

“Good morning Misha. Morning Shizune,” I wave at the Student Council President with a small smile. “You look beat.”

“Wahaha~!” she laughs; it seems as though she is trying to not lose her usual loud tone. “Shizune and I were busy looking over the school’s festival. It was hard work, but we managed to make things work out.”

Shizune peeks over at us before getting Misha’s attention to sign something. Her hands look a little sluggish moving, but she tries her best to hide any exhaustion she has. They continue to sign back and forth, before I spot Molly and Ikuno walk through the door. They spot me, and I wave at them. They do the same before turning to each other.

A hand taps my desk to get my attention, “Well I guess we don’t have to ask if you enjoyed the festival~~! Wahaha~!”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing~! Wahaha~!!” Misha laughs once more, her voice making the other students regret coming to class. “We were looking for you yesterday to join us for the festival, but you weren’t in your room. Shicchan got upset because she wanted to spend the festival with you~!”

“Why would she want to do that?” furrowing my brow. I bet she was trying to use a festival as a distraction to make me join the Student Council. Or maybe…no, that can’t be it.

The bell rings and Molly and Ikuno take their seats. Molly smiles at me before she sits and I return the gesture.
Mutou walks in after the bell and he looks worse than the students in the class. He looks to have a hangover or something because his eyes are bloodshot and he’s holding the right side of his head.

Looks like Mutou doesn’t want to teach, nor do the students feel like learning. So he decides to make us do book work again for the rest of the period. The rest of the class breathes a collective sigh of relief. Misha scoots her desk next to mine and Shizune joins us as well.

The work is nothing but reading, with barely any questions. We finish the work pretty quickly, which is good. The bad news is Misha and Shizune keep bugging me about yesterday. They turn to each other and sign back and forth, their hands becoming a blur to rapid for any person to keep up. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just waving their hands in circles. After a couple of minutes pass, they both turn to me, Misha with a big grin and Shizune looking on, as if studying me.

“So you were with Kapur and Komaki yesterday right Hicchan~?” she whispers to me---, well to her, she thinks she whispers. Mutou looks up from his book towards us and I look down before we make eye contact. I spot Molly flinch a little hearing Misha’s question at the corner of my eye.

“How did you know?”

Misha turns to Shizune and they are at it again, “I didn’t. I saw you wave at them. So I put two and two together.”

“So what if I did? Is there anything wrong with that?” I say defensively, scratching my left arm.

“No, not at all. Just that Shicchan and I thought it would have been fun if Hicchan were to join us at the festival. But…,” she pauses and looks ahead before turning to face me, “…it looks like you enjoyed the festival regardless.”

“Um, thanks,” is all I can say before the bell rings. The class and I let out a collecteve sigh as the first period is over. Just a couple more hours until lunch.


~~~~~~~~~~


“And then, the alien started laughing like a maniac before its atomic bomb went off,” Asuka continues her story.

“I think you should stop watching movies before sleeping. They’ll make you stupid,” Takashi replies, his face making the same annoyed face from earlier. I’m starting to think that is how his face just looks.

“You’re just mad because the alien ripped out your spine.”

Ikuno looks up from her notebook, “Could you keep it down a bit? I’m trying to catch up on my studying and you two are too loud.”

“Sorry Iku, but Takashi is being a jerk,” Asuka takes a bite into her rice ball. “What brought you here, Hisao?” turning her attention to me.

“Yeah, why are you here, New Guy?”

I look up from my pork bread, “I had fun hanging out with you guys yesterday at the festival, so I thought spending lunch with you guys today would be fun too.” Honestly though, Misha and Shizune wanted me to join them for lunch, but the way Shizune was looking at me when Misha invited me, felt like they wanted me to do more paperwork. Luckily, Ikuno and Molly came just in time to invite me for lunch.

“I had a blast too! Even though we didn’t win the purple cat yesterday,” Asuka’s voice lowers as her head hangs low; her teal bangs cover her eyes.

“Asuka couldn’t stop complaining about the cat once we left,” Ikuno closes her notebook and grabs her bottle of water.

“Well I really wanted that cat. It was so cute.”

“I enjoyed the food,” Molly joins in. “It was a lot better than last year, especially the fried tofu.” I see her eyes widen from the thought. It makes me wish that I had been able to try them.

“The ramen tasted plain. How the hell do you forget to add seasoning?” Takashi complains. “I could have gotten better ramen from the convenience store.”

“I didn’t mind the ramen, at least it was hot, unlike last time,” Ikuno puts opens up her notebook again and puts her earphones in.

“The fireworks were amazing too!” Asuka shouts out. I didn’t know this school goes all out like that. “I wonder if they are going to top it for next year’s festival.”

I have to agree with Asuka about the fireworks. They were truly a sight to see from the garden last night. The darkness of the night being invaded by those colorful explosions. The reflection of the pond serving as a mirror to cast the fireworks. I think the best part about watching the fireworks, was seeing them in Molly’s eyes. Her reaction was something that can’t escape my mind. Her child-like awe in seeing the fireworks explodes into different colored patterns. The way she hugged onto the stuff gray dog plushy, it made me feel happy that I was there to witness it.

“Earth to Hisao,” I hear a voice call to my left. It’s Molly. “The bell rang. It’s time to go back to class.”

I nod and finish up the last of my canned coffee before standing up.

~~~~~~~~~~

“…so what is your answer?...”

“…what was the question again?...”

she lets out a giggle,”…do you like the day or night?...”

“…i don’t know. i need more time to think it over…”

“…take you time. it’s not like i am going anywhere….”


I open my eyes, the pond comes into view. The stillness of the pond makes it seems as if time has stopped. Birds chirping in the distance are the only indication that time is still in motion.

“’I think I’m getting used to this meditation thing,” turning to Molly, who is still meditating.

“Meditation is a great way to relax after a long day,” her peaceful voice answers. “It also helps when you’re under stress.”

“Does it?”

“Well anything that can take your mind off problems. Everyone has that one thing they do to get away from their problems,” she opens her eyes; there is a brief sadness to them. Molly stretches her arms before standing up.

I think I understand what she means. When I was at the hospital, I would read books non-stop every day to take away that thought of being a prisoner there. Days became a blur and reading books helped a lot coping with my new life. I wonder what other students do to take their mind off their problems.

“I’m sorry Hisao, but I have to go now. My brother wants to go out for dinner tonight, and I have to go and change,” she smiles.

“Okay, same time tomorrow then?”

“Sorry, but I have some errands to run tomorrow. I’ll let you know when I’m available.”

I nod my head, “Okay, sounds good to me.” I stand up and dust myself off. “Bye Molly.”

“See you tomorrow in class,” Molly waves with a smile, before leaving the garden.

I stare at the pond for a few moments before doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~

I close my science book as I finish my homework for today. The sun has begun to set, as my room takes on an orange tint. The cicadas cry out their song from the outside world. I close my eyes to relax; it has been an interesting day. Started committing to exercising, Misha and Shizune interrogating me about yesterday, and still trying to catch up with my classes. My mind begins to wander off and I feel my eyelids become heavy.

The sound of my watch going off brings me out of my relaxed state. I open my eyes and the orange tint of the room has now become a dark violet. I must have taken a nap; I turn on the light, and the color of the room changes color once more. I stretch my arms and back, before I change out of my uniform. The cool breeze from the window creeps in and it feels nice against my skin. I swallow down my pills and head to my bed. The bed is still uncomfortable for my liking, but it sure beats the one at the hospital. Just thinking about the hospital feels like it was ages ago, even though it’s been about a week since I left.

I grab a book I borrowed from the library from the nightstand. Thumbing through to where I last left off, I let out a yawn. I must be more tired than I thought because the words on the pages become a blur after a few minutes of reading. Well there’s always tomorrow, is the last thought before I drift off to sleep.

*beep* *beep* *beep*

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock.









Last Scene: Strange Terrain
Next Scene: Inner Shade

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 9/16)

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:52 am
by Mirage_GSM
A few more mistakes than in the previous chapters:
and there are some students wondering about.
I wonder if they are wondering or wandering :-)
I want you show me
I don’t want you use that against me
to
I could get use to holding her hands.
used
I guess I was I thought I was hot stuff
some copy pasta...
“You look so peaceful when you were breathing.”
either "You looked so peaceful" or "when you are breathing"
“I guess running so much tired me out that I felt like sleeping!”
Word order: "...running tired me out so much that..."
Most of the students look dead tired and see a couple of empty seats.
"and I see"
We finish the work in pretty quickly
in
I let out a collected sigh
collective
The stillness of the pod makes it seems as time has stop
"seem as if time has stopped"
Almost no typo that I noticed, though. All of those are stuff you can easily find yourself if you read your writing out loud to yourself.

The chapter itself was quite good. Nice touch at the ending :-)

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 9/16)

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:37 pm
by Path
Mirage_GSM wrote: The stillness of the pod makes it seems as time has stop


"seem as if time has stopped"
Almost no typo that I noticed, though. All of those are stuff you can easily find yourself if you read your writing out loud to yourself.
I spotted a typo, it's suppose to be pond. :lol: I have that habit of skipping words and making other errors. It was a lot worse before brythain saw it and I still made some mistakes after he corrected them :oops:
Mirage_GSM wrote:The chapter itself was quite good. Nice touch at the ending :-)
Thanks, I wasn't really sure how to recover from the last scene, but I think it turned out okay.

"Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:56 pm
by Path
Act 2, Scene 2: Inner Shade
Little details can mean more than they seem.



“That will be 1750 yen sir,” the cashier rings up the total.

I pull out two folded up 1000 yen notes from my dark brown wallet. I straighten them out and hand them to the old man behind the counter, “Here you go.”

The cashier grabs the notes and counts them before punching some buttons on the register until it opens. He places the notes in and proceeds to pick up coins. He drops a coin and fumbles to pick it up. The cashier picks up the 100 yen coin and extends his short arm, “Here is your change. Have a good day sir.”

“Thank you,” I bow before leaving the liquor store.

I’m running low on money. If this continues to go like this, maybe it would be best to try to save money; maybe see if I could find a part time job.

I begin to make my thread uphill towards school. I tighten the grip on my bag as I reach an incline of the hill. It’s funny looking back a few weeks ago, where I had to take breaks to catch my breath. I still have some difficulties walking up, but I don’t get winded as easily. Hell, I probably would have passed out before my heart attack walking up this hill.

Reaching to the top of the hill, I see the gates to the school. Sorry hill, but it seems I won this round, though you put up a great fight. My breaths are heavy, but I feel good to continue on. Getting closer to the entrance, I spot Molly and Ikuno waiting at the bus stop. They spot me and wave me down.

“Hello,” I greet, catching my breath.

“You okay over there?” Ikuno asks with little to no concern in her voice.

“I’m alright. Just … this hill takes a while …. to get used to.”

“I think all of the students had that problem at one time or another. For a school that caters towards people like us, you think they put the school in a more convenient spot,” Ikuno rambles.

“I agree,” Molly nods. “But at least the school picked a nice location.”

She looks off into the horizon. Ikuno and I follow Molly’s gaze. The sun is beginning to set. The orange tint of the sun contrasts to the silhouette buildings from the town below. Of all the times walking up and down this hill, I have never notice the scenery. It’s the simple things we ignore that can be breath taking.

“So are you two going into the city this late?” I break the silence.

“Well, you could say that,” Molly answers. She pauses for a second. “I live in the city.”

“How come you don’t live here?”

“Some families can’t afford the housing fee the school has, so some students live off campus.”

I never put much thought into it. Well Yamaku does try its best to emulate being a normal school. So students living in their homes and attending school is also an option. Thinking more about this, I wonder how my parents are able to afford the housing fees.

Ikuno taps Molly on her shoulder and she jumps a little, “Your bus is coming.”

Coming up the hill, the white bus slows down upon reaching the bus stop. The loud screech of the brakes makes me wince. The door opens up with a whoosh sound that only a bus door can produce. It’s weird hearing these sounds again after such a long time. It reminds me of when I would take the bus to school. Talking to friends and going to the arcade after school.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Ikuno,” Molly says. Her voice takes me out of my little reminiscent of my past life.

“Bye Molly,” Ikuno hugs her. “I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay! Bye Hisao,” she waves at me as she enters the bus.

“Bye.”

She walks up the steps and pays the fare. The old bus driver smiles and bows before closing the door. He revs up the engine and drives down the road. The bus disappears as it turns a left behind the hill.

“She’s going to come back tomorrow,” Ikuno jokes.

“I know,” I feel my cheeks heat up just a bit.

She laughs, “Well I’m going to head back to my room; would you mind walking back with me?”

“Okay.”

We walk through the school gates and proceed down the walkway. It’s a pretty quiet walk. I don’t know what to say; I hardly know Ikuno despite hanging out with her on a daily basis. She usually keeps to herself and doesn’t really speak much during lunch or at all now that I can think about it.

Ikuno looks at me, before she faces forward again. It seems like she wants to say something but is afraid to say it.

“What’s up?” I break the silence.

“Oh. Nothing.”

“Come on. You can say it. I don’t mind.”

She takes in a deep breath. Her chest expands as if her lungs are going to pop like a balloon having too much air inside it. Ikuno lets the air leave her body and I was sure she shrunk a little.

“Do you like this school?” she finally asks what was on her mind.

“Well, I guess so. It’s only been a few weeks, but I think I’m getting use to this place.”

“Oh, I see,” unimpressed by my answer.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Oh, no reason. Just curious,” she looks down.

“A-alright then. Guess this is where we part ways. See you tomorrow, Ikuno,” I wave.

“Um yeah. Thanks for walking with me. Bye.”

Ikuno walks towards the girl’s dorm, almost looking defeated. I hope it wasn’t something I said. As she walks towards the door to the girl’s dorm, I decide to head back to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~

I enter the boy’s dorm and begin to make my way up the stairs. As I reach my floor, I see somebody leaning against my door. Oh great, I have to endure one of Kenji’s rants again. Last time he invited me to go to his room and discuss a recon mission to steal books from the library. As I walk closer, I am able to make out the person.

That’s not Kenji; it’s Takashi. What’s he doing here? I haven’t seen him since he left during lunch. How long has he’s been waiting for me?

“You sure took your time,” he greets in his usual annoy like tone.

“I was in town. I had to buy some supplies. How long have you been waiting here?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he stands up. “Could you help me out?”

“What was that?”

“Can you help me? Science isn’t my best subject. And since you did well on the last test, maybe you can help me out.”

This is unexpected. I would never think in a million years that Takashi would ask me for help. I started to think there was bad blood between us ever since the school festival. Guess things are looking up.

“Y-yeah. I could try to help you out.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

I fetch my keys in my pocket and unlock my door, “Well come in.”

Takashi walks in a few steps and looks around my room curious like a cat scanning his environment. There is not much to see in my room. It’s pretty bare and reminds me the hospital room. Though the paint color is different, but pretty much has the same feel to it. He walks towards my desk and leans on it, folding his arms.

“So you’re neighbors with that weird guy with the scarf?” he speaks up.

“Well weird is too nice to call him,” I let out a chuckle.

“He came out of his room. Thought I was you and began going off about how he needed your help distracting the librarian to get books,” he looks away for a second before turning back. “Something about how he can’t get them because Hakimachi banned him from checking out books. Then he asked me for money to buy some supplies. So I gave it to him and he left.”

“Why would you give him money? He’s not going to give it back. He still owes me money for pizza.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he pulls out his wallet and takes out some money. “Here.”

“I can’t take that. I wouldn’t feel right you just giving me money like that,” I decline, though it would be nice to have some extra cash.

“Well whatever,” he stuffs the notes back into his wallet.

“Anything in particular that you need help on?”

Takashi stands up and takes a few steps towards me, “Chemical bonds.”

“It’s not too difficult but I’ll try to my best,” I begin my lecture..

~~~~~~~~~~

“So ionic bonding is when one element loses its electron and gives it to another one so it can complete its outer shell. Then those elements are attracted to each other,” I finish up my little lecture.

Takashi leans back in the chair, covering his eyes, as if he wants to be anywhere but here. I look at my watch; it’s only been an hour. The sun is nowhere to been seen.

“I think that is enough for today. Maybe we can continue another day?”

Takashi breathes a sigh of relief. He stands up from the chair and stretches his arms, “You hungry? Cause I am starving.”

“It hadn’t cross my mind,” I hear my stomach growl. “But now that you mention it, I’m getting hungry myself.”

“Alright let’s go,” he makes his way to the door.

I lock up my door and catch up to Takashi, as he is halfway down the hall. Guess he’s really hungry because he didn’t wait for me. “Where are we going?”

“My dorm,” he says casually. I bought some food while I was in town the other day. I bought a little more than I thought.”

“I see,” I reply, as we make our way to the stairs.

We walk down to the second floor and we make a left and continue down the hallway towards the end of it. Takashi puts his left hand on the doorknob and turns it.

“It’s nothing special but here’s my room,” he opens the door.

I take a few steps. His room looks doesn’t look like a dorm. He has a small tv on his desk, a mini fridge in the corner, and some paintings on the wall. How can he afford such things in his room?

“Your room is something else,” is all I can say as I walk in.

“It’s nothing special, just some stuff my parents send me. I think they overdo it honestly. I don’t know why they sent me here in the first place,” he replies as he takes off his jacket. “You thirsty?”

“A little.”

Takashi makes his way to the fridge and crouches down to open it. I look around his room and spot a picture frame face down on his desk. Kind of odd, but it’s none of my concern. Next to the picture frame is a DVD player, with some movies sitting on top of the black device. They are all in a foreign language. I think it might be English, as I can only read out [2001: A ########].

“Orange or grape?” Takashi calls out.

“Orange is fine.”

He stands up and closes the fridge with his foot. The fridge makes a small thud as it closes and he hands me the can of orange juice.

“Thanks,” I open the can. It makes a loud pop when I open it and some of the juice flies out and land on the top of the can. I take a sip and feel the cool liquid make its way down to my stomach. It leaves a cool trail to my stomach.

Takashi opens one of his drawers and pulls out two packages from it. “You cool with instant ramen?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright. Let’s head out to the kitchen then.”

~~~~~~~~~~

We enter the small kitchen.. White colored walls match the white tiles and cabinets. Against the right wall is the sink. To the left of that, is an electric stove. The wall opposite of the doorway sits the refrigerator and the microwave. It is resting on top of a steel rack, with napkins and plastic utensils beside it. A small brown table sits across the left side of the wall. Four wooden chairs are around the table with a gray trash can in the corner.

Takashi pours the hot water into each bowl. The steam rising from both bowls looks like water hitting hot coals.

“Now we wait,” he puts the pot the stove.

“Thanks for dinner,” I take a seat at the table.

“Well I had to pay you back for the science lesson. Plus I don’t want to owe you anything. So we’re even now.”

That was an odd thing to say. But I guess it means something to Takashi, as he joins me at the table. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and begins to push the buttons on it. He continues to look at his phone for another three minutes before he puts it back in his pocket. His expression never changed from his usual annoyed look during the whole process.

“So, I was wondering,” I pick up my fork and stir my bowl of instant ramen.

“What is it?” he looks up.

“Why are you at this school?” I swear the stuff that comes out of my mouth. I shake my head as I look down. Well any chances of becoming friends are thrown out the window now.

“The same reason everyone else goes here; to get an education.”

“I mean…I’m here because of arrhythmia, and was curious what made you end up at Yamaku.”

Takashi stares at me while he opens his can of soda. Not much at staring at me, but more like staring through me. His stare never leaves, even when taking a sip. He lets out an annoyed sign as he puts his can down.

“Tinnitus. Ever heard of it?” his voice matching the annoyed look on his face.

“No. Not sure that I have,” feeling relieve. I guess I live another minute.

Takashi takes a deep breath, similar to Ikuno earlier. He lets the air out, “To put it simple, it’s like having this ringing sound going off in your ears. It’s doesn’t go away.”

“Huh,” I cock my head to the left. I was expecting something more serious. Well, I got my answer.

We eat our dinner in silence. The bowl of noodles is nothing special. The noodles are too firm for my liking and I am not sure which flavor this is. Regardless, you can’t complain about a free meal. I wash down the taste with my can of orange juice, crushing the can with my hand.

I finish up the rest of my noodles when Takashi’s phone goes off. He picks up his blue phone and flips it open to read the message. Takashi glances up towards me and back to his phone. He begins to text back. This goes on for about five minutes before he closes his phone.

“I got to get going,” he says, standing up from the table and heads towards the sink. “I got stuff to take care of.”

“Alright. Thanks again for dinner.”

“Don’t mention it,” Takakshi walks towards me. “Don’t mention this to no one.”

“Okay.”

Where did this come from? Before I can process what he meant, he left the kitchen. I thought we were going forward. Guess not. I finish up my dinner, wash my bowl, and head back to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~

I close my math book; excited that I finish all of my homework. I take a look at my watch. 10:49pm. That took longer than expected, but I can go to sleep now. I change out of my school uniform and crash on my bed. Oh bed, how I miss you. The way you hold me; I can’t wait to spend another night with you.

Before I can meet the beauty that is sleep, my phone goes off. That’s strange. Who would want to talk to me at this hour?

I sit up on my bed and reach my phone on my nightstand. I flip it open and read the message. It’s from Emi. Wonder what she has to say.

Hi Hisao! Sorry to text you so late. I’m reminding you that tomorrow is the track meet. I hope you show up and cheer me on! Good night! (ゝω・)

I close my phone, follow by my eyes.









Last Scene: Daily Routine
Next Scene: Runners High

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 8:35 pm
by Mirage_GSM
A lot of seemingly abandoned stories are getting picked up again recently...
Nice to see Molly get some attention again.

Two or three typos or missing words like here:
As she walks open the door to the girl’s dorm,
or here
Thought I was you and began going off about how needed your help
but much better than the last chapter!

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:10 am
by Gajzla
Welcome back Path. As mirage says nice to see some of the older stories brought back into the fold. Especially with probably the best chapter you have written, looking foreword to see what happens with Molly and her friends. :)

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 1:06 am
by Path
Mirage_GSM wrote: Nice to see Molly get some attention again.
It's nice to go pick this up again. This has been in the back of my mind for a minute. Though I think this was more about Takashi than Molly this time. :lol: But she'll be more prominent next time around.
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Two or three typos or missing words like here:
As she walks open the door to the girl’s dorm,
or here
Thought I was you and began going off about how needed your help
but much better than the last chapter!
That's a relief to here since I haven't wrote anything in about 5 months. I did space my editing so I wouldn't get use to my writing reading the whole thing.
Gajzla wrote:Welcome back Path. As mirage says nice to see some of the older stories brought back into the fold. Especially with probably the best chapter you have written, looking foreword to see what happens with Molly and her friends. :)
That break helped me sort out ideas for this scene, since I had a hard time to segue into the what I wanted this chapter to be. Thanks! I'm glad this wasn't the worst chapter I wrote. :lol: Next time is going to be interesting with an idea I have. Just hope the execution is good enough.

"Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 4/19)

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 12:01 am
by Path
Act 2, Scene 3: Runners High
As Hisao cheers on Emi, he sees a new side of her.

I grab my breakfast before I make my way out of the cafeteria. Breakfast is usually the same: a bowl of rice, canned coffee, and a fruit. Today’s fruit is an apple. I walk halfway through the cafeteria before I hear someone call out my name.

“Yo Nakai! Where are you headed off to?” the voice asks.

I turn and look for the owner of the voice. It’s Miura; the girl that sits next to Ikuno and in front of Takashi. She motions her right hand for me to come over. Wonder what she wants?

“It’s Miura right?” I ask.

“That is me,” she laughs.

“What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing. Just wanted to say yo.”

“Well yo.”

“You going to the track meet today?”

“Yeah.”

Miki smiles at me with a cat like grin. She stands up from the bench and I see that she is wearing the school’s track team jacket. The green jacket does nothing but compliment Miura.

“Are you going to cheer for me or Emi?” her voice calls for my attention.

“Why does it matter?”

"No reason,” she takes a bite of her apple. “Just thought you might want a new running partner after today.”

She winks at me.

“I like the running partner I have now. Thank you though,” my voice cracks a little.

She takes a few steps back while taking another bite of her apple. Her eyes move up and down, analyzing me. “It’s cool. Guess you prefer girls on the shorter side,” she winks again, as she heads out of the cafeteria.

“What does that supposed to mean?” I call out, only for it to be answer by the student’s chatter in the cafeteria.

~~~~~~~~~~

After breakfast, I take a look at my watch; I have just over an hour before the track meet starts. Well I guess it’ll be good to hang out at the garden for a while. Lately, I started to use my free time on the weekends going to the garden. It helps me clear my mind and seem like I’m not at school.

I take a seat under a tree by the pond. It’s pretty quiet and cold even with the sun shining bright. In the distance, I can hear people yelling and moving equipment. My guess would be that it’s for the track meet. I close my eyes for a bit, only to be greeted by a familiar voice.

“Hi Hisao,” she greets me.

I open my eyes and spot Molly standing in front of me. She smiles while she waves at me.

“Morning Molly,” I stretch my arms. “What are you doing here?”

“Today is the track meet. I thought I come and cheer on Miura and Suzumiya, along with the rest of the track and field club.”

“Oh crap! What time is it?” A quick glance shows that its 10 minutes before the event starts. “We should get going if we want to get seats.”

Molly nods in agreement. She holds out her hand to help me. I smile and reach out to grab her hand. With one swift motion, I stand up and proceed to walk towards the track. I only get a couple steps before I feel my arm being pulled.

“Sorry!” I free Molly’s hand.

She stares at me with no expression. She is making me feel uneasy. It was an accident; I was didn’t want to be late for the event. I wasn’t trying to imply anything. Am I overthinking this?

“You’re friends with Ibarazaki, right?” she asks out of the blue.

“Y-yeah,” I blurt out.

“She’s really good. And this one is the last track meet, so you are lucky to see her in action.”

We make our way towards the track. This is the first I time spot Molly out of her school uniform and she doesn’t look bad. She is wearing an open light red blouse with a white shirt underneath it. Another first is seeing her without her legs standing out. They are hidden in blue jeans.

“You look great today.”

“Thank you,” she smiles. “Ikuno and I went shopping last weekend and I bought these clothes.” She should be wearing the clothes she bought as well.”

“Do you two usually go shopping on weekends?”

“Not really. These were on sale. We usually just go into the city and walk around the shopping district or the movies if Asuka and Takashi come along.”

“Must be fun.”

“Of course it is,” she turns to me. “Today we’re going to the movies. You’re coming too right?”

“What?”

“Takashi didn’t tell you? Ikuno called and said that Asuka wanted to go to the movies. She said she texted Takashi to tell you last night.”

“I must have forgotten.”

“Well, would you want to come along?”

“Sure, I’ll be glad to tag along.”

Molly smiles at my answer. Before she can reply, we make it to the track field. We spot our friends sitting on the first row.

Takashi is wearing a black and white button up with blue jeans. Surprisingly, he is not wearing his weird hat. I thought he might be hiding a bald spot.

Ikuno is wearing a black long shirt with a white shirt sticking out at the bottom; she is also wearing gray shorts with black thigh high socks and some light gray boots. I also spot her green backpack next to her.

Asuka is wearing a white shirt with thin black stripes on it and light brown capris. On her right wrist she is wearing a copper bangle.

“Molls!” Asuka shouts in excitement. “Hey Hisao.”

“Hi,” we both greet her in unison.

“You two made it time,” Ikuno chimes in. “They are about to start the first event.”

Molly and I take our seat next to Ikuno. I spot Emi run to the track and take her position. Behind her is Miura, who trades glances at Emi. They both nod their heads, with a smirk appearing on both their faces.

“The first event is the girl’s 400 meter dash,” the speakers boom.

The runners from both schools ready up. A referee walks onto the side of the field. I can’t make out what he says, but I’m pretty sure he’s telling them to get ready. He holds up the gun above his head.

Before the race starts, I spot Emi’s expression. Her expression is the expression I see on a daily occasion when running. She looks as though there is no one around but only her and the field. So this is what Molly meant about taking your mind off; no problems to worry about but to be in the moment.

The gun fires and the muzzle blows steam like a tea kettle. Off goes Emi. She explodes out on to the field like a rocket. The crowd goes crazy and I can’t help but join in with the crowd’s excitement.

“Let’s go Yamaku!” Asuka cheers.

The rest of the crowd continues to cheer as the runners make the first turn. The person in front of the pack is Emi. Behind her are Miura and another runner from the other school. They go back and forth between the three from first, second and third. When they reach the second turn, Emi takes the lead and gathers some distance from the other two. Miura is in second place and tries her best to catch up, but there is some distance between the two at this point.

“And your winner is Emi Ibarazaki of Yamaku,” the voice from the speakers announces.

“That was a good race,” I comment.

“It was awesome!” Asuka exclaims.

Emi takes a seat, while the coach comes up and congratulates her. She looks up towards the crowd. She spots me and smiles. I wave back. Her smile fades away when she continues to survey the crowd. She gives up looking for someone in the crowd and stares down for a bit.

“Next up is the girl’s 200 meter dash,” the announcer announces.

Emi leaves her seat and walks onto the track field once again.

“She’s going to do another race?”

“Yes,” Ikuno answers. “She’s also doing the relay race as well.”

“How do you know that?”

“Miki told me the other day. She is competing in them as well.”

I look towards the track and spot Miura getting in position. She has the expression almost similar as Emi but I think there is more to it. It’s probably determination to win and beat her rival.

The gun goes off and so does the runners. Leading the pack is not a surprise to me. Following Emi is Miura, who is not that far behind. It’s a neck and neck race, but the end result is the same as the last one.

The both of them trade looks with Miura having an expression that she is determine in beating my running partner. Emi nods her head with a smug look in her face.

Her expression changes as she takes a seat. Emi winces when she rubs close to her prosthetics. The coach comes up to her and she shakes her head.

“It doesn’t look good,” Molly comments.

“You noticed it too?” I question.

“Ibarazaki looks like she is in pain.”

“How do you know?”

“Wearing prosthetics can cause discomfort or irritation if it is not put on right,” she turns to me. “My guess is that it’s the latter.”

I feel my stomach turn a little bit. I just hope that it isn’t bad.

“Our final event is the girl’s relay race.”

Emi and Miura walk towards the track exchanging words. Miura has a concern expression while Emi tries her best to put on a reassuring smile on. They both take their position, with Miura shaking her head.

“Go Yamaku! Show Kitayama who’s the better school is!” Asuka cheers, her excitement never changing since the first race.

The gun goes off once more and the race begins. The rest of the crowds cheers on as the first set of runners leave their positons. I shift my focus to Emi. She has the same look as she did in the races before. She is in her moment; no trace of pain, only determination.

I shift my focus back to the race. It’s a close race as both girls are neck and neck as they pass the batons. Kitayama pulls ahead as they near the third set of runners. Miura’s leaves her position and grabs the baton. She takes off like a bullet train and catches up with Kitayama. It isn’t long before she passes them and takes the lead for Yamaku.

Emi begins to take off from her position. She picks up speed and for a split second, her face winces. Miura catches up to her, as she hands off the baton to the fastest things on no legs.

“This is going to be interesting,” Takashi comments.

Emi tries her best to stay in the lead, but try as she might, the other runners catch up to her. Her look of determination is gone and is replace with pain for a split second. She pushes through with one last burst of speed. Her effort is not doing well. They near the finish line in a photo finish end.

“Your winner of the girl’s relay race is Kitayama Academy,” the announcer says over the speakers.

“Well I’m going to use the restroom. I’ll see you all at the bus stop.” Takashi gets up and leaves, his voice showing indifference.

“She...lost,” I mumble out.

“Well, we should start heading out if we want to catch the movie,” Ikuno speaks up.

“Yeah, I’m really excited for this movie too,” Asuka readjusts herself in her wheelchair.

The girls begin to leave their seat, but I remain in mine. I don’t know what to make of this or how to feel. I feel someone pull my arm and I look up.

“You’re coming too?” Asuka ask.

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m just a little tired from staying up late doing homework. You three go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you in a few minutes.”

~~~~~~~~~~

I make my way on to the field and spot Emi sitting on the bench. Her head down.

“Emi,” I speak up. “It’s Hisao.”

She looks up, her wiping her face with a towel. “Hi Hisao! I’m glad that you showed up!”

She’s upset, but she hides any hint of it in her happy behavior.

“Well yeah. I wouldn’t have missed this even if I was kidnapped,” I let out a cautious laugh.

She joins in with a laugh of her own. “Well I’m glad that nothing could have stopped you,” her voice trails off in the end. She wipes her face again with the towel and looks back down.

“Hey Emi, they’re about to start the award’s ceremony. We better get going,” a track club member shouts.

Emi doesn’t respond right away, continuing looking down. Before her team mate repeats themselves, she gets up.

“Okay! I’ll be there in a minute. Go on ahead, I’ll catch up,” she smiles, but I can tell that her smile is hollow.

“Alright,” her team mate says, as they head off.

“Hisao, you can go,” Emi looks to me. “The awards ceremony is really boring and takes forever. I’ll see you some other time.”

“You sure?” even though I already have plans. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As I begin to head out to the entrance, I can’t help but look back, just out of curiosity. Emi is nowhere to be seen. I turn back and head towards the entrance, dragging my feet as they become heavy out of the blue.









Last Scene: Inner Shade
Next Scene: Bits and Pieces

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 10:34 am
by Mirage_GSM
“Ikuno and I went shopping last weekend and I bought these clothes. She should be wearing the clothes she bought as well.”
The weekend before the track meet would have been the festival...
Other than that there are a few places where it looks like you made last minute changes but stopped halfway, e.g.:
“Why does it matter?”

Nothing,”
'nothing' should probably be 'nevermind' or something like that.
“I must have forgotten.”
Probably "He must have forgotten."
I also [???] her green backpack next to her.
She looks to as though there is no one around
Also you forgot the 100m race :-)

Keep up the good work!

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Route (Update 2/29)

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:00 pm
by Path
The weekend before the track meet would have been the festival...
Time must half slip my mind, luckily changing last weekend to last time can fix that confusion. :lol:
“I must have forgotten.”


Probably "He must have forgotten."
That one was intentional.
Also you forgot the 100m race
I omitted it, as I couldn't find a way to place. Probably best to take it out.