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Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:13 pm
by 010TJ
Hey there, so I thought I'd try my hand at a one-shot and given the date who better to be a subject than the wonderful Lilly Satou. I hope you enjoy. And do please let me know how to improve, feedback fuels my work.
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Having been an only child I can’t really imagine what Lilly’s going through right now. It’s only been a week since she last saw Akira and although she and I have been getting along perfectly well, she still seems distant. Hanako even asked about it when we were walking back to class after lunch on Monday. Lilly asked how her summer was and then just listened for a long time as I tried to get a longer answer from Hanako than “It was okay…”

I suppose that’s who she is though, her reserved nature always made Lilly hard to read. Back before summer break I’d known something was wrong, but it’d taken Akira’s shock meeting to let me figure out just how wrong things were.

It actually came as a relief when, last night, I got an email from Akira asking me to sort out a surprise for Lilly. Over the summer my parents had decided to pick me up a new laptop for my school work and impending university life. Whilst they weren’t up for new ways of staying in contact, they much prefer phone calls to texts etc., Akira was over the moon that she could skype her little sister through me. I, of course, was more than happy to accommodate this.

So that’s what leads us to now, as I make my way over to the girls dorms to meet Hanako and Lilly, laptop in hand. Reaching Lilly’s room, number 225, I knock as per usual and await her calling back.

“Come in Hisao.” Echoes through the door.

I’m greeted by my lovely girlfriend, sat at her low table in her midnight blue pyjamas, hair let down from its usual black velvet ribbon. Across from her sits Hanako, in her long nightie, hair swept over the right of her face. She’s looking more at ease than she did when we first did this for her birthday earlier in the year. I walk into the room and close the door behind me, setting my laptop on the table and kissing Lilly on the cheek.

“Hey guys, started without me I see.” I say as I sit myself at one of the vacant edges.

Lilly smiles softly and nods, “Hanako was just telling me about what she’s been doing for the journalism club.”

“Y-yes, we’re writing a piece on M-Mutou and I h-had to interview him.” She stutters a little, but I can see she’s really proud of herself. The journalism club has really helped her, Naomi and Natsume have both been really understanding and pushed her to try things outside of her comfort zone. Interviewing someone, even Mutou, is a big step for Hanako.

“Sounds interesting, when does it come out?”

“Oh? Er… I don’t know. It needs to be e-edited. I guess next week.” Hanako looks down and quickly sips her tea. It’s only now I realise Lilly hasn’t been idle and a warm cup of tea is sat before me.

“Hisao, I have to ask. Why did you bring your laptop?” Lilly’s long delicate fingers rest on top of the computer and she looks a little confused. She’s never been a big fan of technology, even with all the text-to-speech programs available today,
I’m not even sure she likes the braille writer we have in school.

I glance at Hanako sideways and we share a smile. “It’s a little surprise for you.”

I check my watch, 8:30, I assume Akira should be at work by now, given her job as a junior associate and daughter to the president of the company I’m confident no one will mind her taking her lunch a little early to talk to her sister.

I open the laptop and bring it out of sleep mode.

Lilly still looks perplexed, she has her little frown and her eyebrows are knitted together as she listens to the fans whir. Hanako on the other hand knows exactly what’s coming and is almost shaking with anticipation. I open skype and see my one contact is indeed online and waiting.

I hit video call.

Whilst I’m aware that this won’t do anything extra than a voice call for Lilly, I’m sure Akira would like to see her. I’m also confident that she’d want to see Hanako and vice versa.

There’s a few seconds of silence before the laptop starts making a series of tones which sound like a phone making a call.

“Hisao, what’s going on?” Lilly really looks lost now, clearly not having the faintest idea what it is we’re up to.

Before I can tell her to be patient the beeping stops and there’s a short moment of silence before a familiar voice pops into life.

“Is this thing working? Can you guys hear me?” asks Akira from Scotland.

“A-Akira?!” Lilly look of confusion melts in a second to one of surprise.

“Hey Sis!” Akira’s webcam catches up and she pops on to the screen. “How’ve you been?”

She’s sat in a high backed leather office chair with a white wall and oak cabinet behind her. True to her usual nature 3 boxes sit on the cabinet waiting to be emptied. She’s dressed in her usual suit without her jacket, top button of her shirt undone and her sleeves rolled up to just above the elbow.

Lilly is clearly a little flustered and takes a moment to compose herself, if I’m not mistaken I think I can see a tear in the corner of her eye. “I’m well thank you. How have you been?”

“Well the jetlag has been a pain I can tell you that much, and dad’s been talking nonstop about how I’ve got to integrate into the company before too long or else I’ll just be the boss’s daughter. But everything else is great. The people are friendly, my office is huge and so far the weather isn’t too bad.” Akira has a grin from ear to ear and Lilly is wearing a pretty big smile too.

“Now where are my co-conspirators? I should say hi to them too.” Taking this as our cue Hanako and I make our way around so we’re both kneeling behind Lilly, one on either side.

“H-hey Akira. It’s good to see you!” Hanako pipes up first.

“Hanako! Wait a second, are you wearing eye liner?!” Akira looks completely shocked and I shoot a glance across to Hanako only to realise that she is indeed wearing a little make-up.

Hanako quickly breaks into a deep blush and looks down and away from the screen. “Uh-huh,” a smile quickly spreads across her face. “Natsume said it would help bring out my eyes.”

Akira quickly bursts into raucous laughter, “I leave for a week and you start wearing make-up, I’ll call a week later and find you’re wearing your hair back and dating a boy on the track and field team.”

Hanako giggles slightly as does Lilly.

“And Hisao, how’s the bum ticker? You’ve not been sprinting around any airports since I left have you?”

I grin, “No I can’t say I have, but if I decide to you’ll be the first to know. Maybe we can do Edinburgh airport one day? Should make for a change.”

Everyone has a hearty laugh and we wind up sitting there chatting for almost an hour. Akira wants to know how our first week back’s going. Lilly wants to know how her parents are, how Akira’s boyfriend is settling in and what the flight over was like. But before long Akira lets out a long sigh.

“Well Lils. I have to get back to work, or dad will start telling me I have a bad work ethic again.”

Lilly’s face drops, “I understand.”

Akira notices this change instantly, “Hey. Come on don’t look so down, it’s not like I’m going forever. You can bet we’re doing this again next week.” She looks towards me a little bit as does Hanako. At first I’m not sure why, it’s not for me to say when they can speak. It then occurs to me that it is my laptop serving as the conduit for this chat.

“Oh yeah of course.” I smile and put an arm around Lilly, saying this to her more than anyone else. “Anytime you guys want.”

Lilly’s face picks up a bit. “Ok then, next week.” She smiles, and I can feel my heart lift a bit.

“Great, well I’ll see you then, ok Sis?” If she could I bet Akira would be ruffling Lilly’s hair much like she used to do to Hideaki.

“Yes I’ll look forward to it. Take care Akira.”

“You too, Hanako keep me posted on that boy from the track and field team. Hisao don’t do anything to that heart of yours, you hear me?”

I chuckle and nod, “Yes ma’am.”

“Good, well then, c’ya!” She does her signature wave and Hanako and I wave back before she drops the call and the screen goes back to the skype dashboard. Once again it’s just us three in the room with a laptop.

“I should go,” Hanako stands up to excuse herself. “Thank you for the tea Lilly and th-thank you too Hisao.”

“You’re welcome Hanako, will you be joining us for lunch tomorrow?” Lilly asks.

“N-no, I have to edit that article on Mutou. But I’m cooking Green Curry tomorrow night if you’d like to join me.”

“I’d love to, I’ll talk to you then ok?”

“Ok, goodnight.” She smiles and walks to the door.

“Goodnight Hanako.” We call after her. She opens the door, steps through and closes it after her.

No sooner has the latch clicked into place than Lilly has lowered her head on to my shoulder and wrapped both her arms around me.

“Thank you Hisao. I really needed that.” She says quietly as a few tears escape from her eyes.

“I know.” I reply as I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes. We stay like that for a while before going to bed, holding one another close.

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 9:39 pm
by hyroglyphixs
A very cute story! I can definitely see how Lilly would be very sad without having Akira around her after being together for her entire life.

My only issue is how is a Skype call any different than phoning her using the speakerphone?

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 10:10 pm
by 010TJ
Hey man, I used the skype call rather than the phone as although it'd do nothing more for Lilly, Akira would be in a similar state as her sister and would certainly like to see her. I also imagined that Hanako and Hisao would like to see Akira and vice versa.

Thanks for the feedback. People can't get better at what they do without it and when phased well, as you did, it is a welcome sight. Thanks again. :)

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 11:41 pm
by hyroglyphixs
Yeah, I have no doubt that Hisao and Hanako would've liked to see Akira's face, but by the way you presented it it seemed like Lilly hadn't heard from Akira since she left when she could have called at any time.

Anyways, if you want actual feedback on your writing I'm afraid I can't help you very much.. a lot of other members of this forum are far more qualified to give you useful advice :oops:
For me at least the writing was error free and flowed very nicely though :)

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:07 am
by 010TJ
Yeah no, that's my bad, for not making it clear that they hadn't been in touch.

None the less though, any feedback is good. If my writing makes something unclear I need to change it. So still thanks.

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:39 am
by BMFJack
010TJ wrote:from Akira asking me sort out a surprise for Lilly.
I think there's a "to" missing there. That's the only error I could find, but there are others who have a better eye for it than I.

At first the flow didn't seem fluid but it was only for a moment, then everything was smooth. I like the general idea, although it does seem to have more impact than I would expect. Even a full skype video call (for non visually impaired participants) isn't much different from a phone call.

That's not to say it isn't a nice story, I rather enjoyed it =D

Re: Distance - A post-Lilly good end one shot.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 12:56 pm
by 010TJ
Cheers man, missed that in my proof read. I'll swoop in and edit it now.