Katawa Shoujo Forums

Wow, somehow I never ended up reading this until now.

I really like this so far, and I love the character of Kagami. I feel like if I were to write about a musician, it would simply become a cheesy self-insert, and I think you've done a really good job of avoiding this pitfall (considering you're clearly also a musician).

Your musical theme is possibly my favorite part of this. It's great, and reminded me that I really should start writing more music (apparently being envious of your abilities is a good motivator for me...) I took composition lessons several years ago but stopped due to lack of time. I specifically liked the time signature changes (although I love that sort of thing in general), as it makes it seem a bit more spontaneous than just, say, cut time the whole way through would.

Hooray, an update! Another great chapter as per usual and it was nice seeing Ito again. You've created some wonderful characters here and as per usual I look forward to the next installment!

Very nice part! Right amount of humour, events and foreshadowing. I especially liked Hisao (and by extension, about 99% of this forum, me including) encountering - or more like brushing - with unknown world of music.

Please keep this story up!

I had become afraid that this was deadfic - I'm very happy that isn't the case! Don't worry about taking your time with updates. This was, in my humble opinion, the best chapter you've posted yet, and if it takes some extra time between updates, I'm more than willing to wait.

I read through this a second time with Shostakovich's Fifth playing. It syncs up right from the start, with the violent intro matching the torrential rain and Hisao's running.

A very enjoyable chapter, and as usual, you made it really hard to find things to nitpick
That said, here they are:

the loudness of the while orchestra

Typo: it's the whole orchestra.

cloud-less, pre-processed

According to the dictionaries I have on hand, those hyphens are unnecessary.

I wonder why Ito went into such a long-winded explanation about Shostakovich. From what I've seen, Ito doesn't seem the type to give a soliloquy about something like that for no reason. There's one thing I'm sure about, though: I'm definitely in this teahouse for some other reason than pure coincidence. I think Ito wants me to be here, for whatever purpose.

Gah.

...though, that's actually... however

You use these words a little bit too much, in my opinion.

I knew an update would come sooner or later! I'm loving this fic Forgetmenot! I forget to mention it last time, but I love that you went out and made a song for this, Memory is great. I listen to it whenever i'm listening to my other KS music. On another note, I have sneaking suspicions about what that last chapter was setting up. And if it was.... I must go harden my heart in preparation for the feels. Keep up the awesome work!

Wow, thanks everyone for the positive feedback! I'm really happy that y'all like it, considering the relatively high caliber of fanfiction that's associated with KS. Stay tuned!

bpgbcg wrote:Your musical theme is possibly my favorite part of this. It's great, and reminded me that I really should start writing more music (apparently being envious of your abilities is a good motivator for me...) I took composition lessons several years ago but stopped due to lack of time. I specifically liked the time signature changes (although I love that sort of thing in general), as it makes it seem a bit more spontaneous than just, say, cut time the whole way through would.

Best way to get better is just to do it! The world can always use more music. Go for it!

edruil wrote:I had become afraid that this was deadfic - I'm very happy that isn't the case! Don't worry about taking your time with updates. This was, in my humble opinion, the best chapter you've posted yet, and if it takes some extra time between updates, I'm more than willing to wait.

Nah, it's not deadfic. I like to see things through to completion. Glad to hear you're still reading!

neio wrote:I read through this a second time with Shostakovich's Fifth playing. It syncs up right from the start, with the violent intro matching the torrential rain and Hisao's running.

Very cool! I was listening to it as I was writing. I suppose it came through a little bit.

neio wrote:

cloud-less, pre-processed

According to the dictionaries I have on hand, those hyphens are unnecessary.

Aaaaargh I was never good with god-damn portmanteaus.

neio wrote:

I wonder why Ito went into such a long-winded explanation about Shostakovich. From what I've seen, Ito doesn't seem the type to give a soliloquy about something like that for no reason. There's one thing I'm sure about, though: I'm definitely in this teahouse for some other reason than pure coincidence. I think Ito wants me to be here, for whatever purpose.

Gah.

...how... how did that paragraph slip through? That's what I get for editing after midnight.

neio wrote:

...though, that's actually... however

You use these words a little bit too much, in my opinion.

Yeah, it's a crutch sometimes. I'll see about trimming those out.

thereanimator02 wrote:On another note, I have sneaking suspicions about what that last chapter was setting up. And if it was.... I must go harden my heart in preparation for the feels. Keep up the awesome work!

I don't know what you could possibly mean.

Why haven't I read this until now? ...I'm not really good with long gushes of praise, so suffice it to say I eagerly await the next installment.

Okay, I really liked this chapter. Your OC is so different from all the others.

I like that Hisao is perceptive when given the clues. Like in Emi's route when he takes the time to talk with Mutou. And I'm convinced that Hisao knew perfectly well that the most likely explanation for Emi's emotional issues was her father being dead.

My only complaint here is to point out that Japan has no culture of tipping. Honestly, the number of times I have to say that…

griffon8 wrote:Okay, I really liked this chapter. Your OC is so different from all the others.

Glad you like it! Er, her. Honestly that's just sort of how she comes across in my head... it's weird how if you imagine enough backstory and behavioral idiosyncrasies for a character beforehand, they almost write themselves. I have to say, Hisao is much harder to write than either Kagami or Ito.

griffon8 wrote:I like that Hisao is perceptive when given the clues. Like in Emi's route when he takes the time to talk with Mutou. And I'm convinced that Hisao knew perfectly well that the most likely explanation for Emi's emotional issues was her father being dead.

I figured that as sharp of a guy as Hisao is, he has no business being as thickheaded as he manages to be in, say, Rin's route. Also I'm pretty sure you're right... it was super obvious.

griffon8 wrote:My only complaint here is to point out that Japan has no culture of tipping. Honestly, the number of times I have to say that…

I find it extremely frustrating that I KNEW that and it still slipped in. Oh, well, it's fixed now. Thanks for pointing it out.

New music up! I was going to add other instruments but I liked the piano only version so much I really couldn't bring myself to mess with it.

It's called "Young Rain".

Listen Here.

Yay new music! I love that you aren't just stopping with one main theme. The music in general is something that distinguishes this route from others (in a good way), at least for me. I look forward to future (musical and/or written) updates.

forgetmenot wrote:"Young Rain"

Argh. Stop writing music, I'm almost tempted to drop my fanfic and do nothing but compose and compose. (But those little short inspirational bursts only last a week or so, so mreh.) I wasn't sensing a large portion of the schizophrenic out of this song until the dissonance struck at 1:53, and then the smooth train ride in my head kind of went out of whack.

I'd comment a bit more, but I'm not very good at expressing what I want to say when it comes to acknowledging timbre, providing constructive criticism and/or compliments. That, and my musical preferences are more chaotic in structure. Liked your composition nonetheless.

The reprise of the first section (starting at 3:57) sounds as though it'd work well for an end-of-first-chapter FMV for Kagami. I love that last bass note at 5:03, too; really ends the track on a high mood.