Quantum Toast wrote:I've got more in common with Hanako than the others, I think. So we'd probably end up just sitting in the library occasionally glancing at each other, neither of us making the first move.
I suspect that's the answer right there, for me. I'll expand, though.
DrNonookee wrote:I have...issues with speaking to people in person.
The problem is mostly that of having a brain that seems to work slower than other peoples' when it comes to parsing and prepping speech. This tends to manifest itself in a couple of ways - one is an annoyingly constant habit of asking people to repeat what they just said, as if I'd had trouble hearing them. Oftentimes I heard them just fine, but I'll end up asking out of habit anyway. The reason? I need more time to mentally parse what they just said than most people will allow me on their own. If I *don't* do this and just try to speak at my normal response time, there's a very short but noticable gap there that people tend to notice. I *hate* that - it makes me feel like I'm mentally impaired.
There's also a tendancy to accidentally mix up sentence fragments. Ever seen
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (the movie)? There's a hilarious scene where Scott is trying to come up with a response to something said to him...we see a Wheel Of Fortune-style game wheel that spins around to show his mind honing in on a reply. Except it lands directly on the line *between* segments, so instead of "I'll go talk to her" or "I have to go pee" he instead says something like "I have to pee on her".
This very same thing happens to me annoyingly often. When I converse, I tend to mentally take my time thinking of what I want to say, even as I'm in the process of saying it - but it happens slowly enough that my mouth often catches up to my brain halfway through. I'll have two or three possible phrasings of a reply on the tip of my tongue, but before I can pick one my mouth gets to the point where it's needed and it ends up blending them together into something nonsensical.
I can make meaningless small talk just fine, but whenever I need to actually think about what I'm saying (i.e. when I actually *care* about the subject at hand), I come across like some sort of dyslexic or something. It gets worse when I'm agitated, which of course is automatically going to include any interactions with strangers because I tend to get nervous trying to break the ice with them. It may be some sort of offshoot of my Tourette's Syndrome (which in my case is normally limited to physical tics, not verbal ones), or it may just be the result of lack of practice with speaking meaningfully with people. All I know is that I end up sounding like a buffoon when I'm trying to talk to people I don't know in person. It's one of the major factors behind my lingering shyness, it hurts my self-esteem
, and it royally pisses me off because here on the Internet, where I have time to properly distill my stream of conciousness into words, I'm actually quite eloquent (not to mention verbose, as the average length of my posts shows
). Sign language would be a *tremendous* relief for 'speaking' in person, as it has the same "think about what you say before you say it" elements of online chat. Ironically, this is the same reason Shizune dislikes it...it lacks the spontaniety, the 'soul' of verbal speech, if you will.
I find that I'm actually prone to the same problems even in TYPED conversation, although I get more time to go back and correct it. But, yes, it takes me a lot of mental energy and time to process speech.
So, I'll analyze this a couple different times. First is, both the girl and me in HS (except for Akira and Yuuko, who would be at their ages in the VN), second is, who they'd be now with me now. I'm skipping me now versus them in HS, because I would shoot them down every time in that case. (Well, me now versus the VN age for Akira, I'd be a year older than her, instead of seven years younger, so I wouldn't shoot her down, but it wouldn't really change anything, so...)
Akira/me while I'm in HS: I'd be attracted to her, although possibly put off by her drinking. We'd get along reasonably well, though, but I don't think she'd be attracted to me. (Although, I did have a thing a few years back with someone who reminds me of... Akira put into Emi's body... and she was a few years older (not the age difference that Akira would have, though), too. I know she was attracted to me, even if my anxiety meant it never happened...) However, she had a boyfriend, and so did the woman that I'm talking about.
Akira/me now: Not sure if she'd be attracted to me, but we could very well be quite close friends. We'd share a few interests, and I think our personalities would mesh incredibly well, once she let her facade of confidence down. And, I'd definitely be attracted to her.
Emi/me: I might be attracted to her, but I doubt she'd be attracted to me. She strikes me as picky about how her partners look, and I ain't the greatest looker. And, running ain't my thing (I'm more of a cyclist). This goes for both HS and now, so I won't repeat it.
Hanako/me in HS: While in high school... we've got a few common interests, and would likely end up running into each other often. My anxieties are much less pronounced when it's not a romantic context, so I could probably approach her in a platonic manner. Now, in high school, I wasn't quite as much of a bitter cynic as I am now, but I did still have a somewhat dark sense of humor. I think she might have one lurking, but I'm not sure how she'd take mine. In any case, if we could get past that, I could see her developing feelings for me, and I'd almost certainly develop feelings for her. However, my anxieties are
worse than hers when it comes to romantic contexts, and our interactions would get far more awkward. And, that without Lilly's help, which I'll explain. I suspect we'd dance around the issue for ages, and one of us MIGHT break through the anxiety.
Hanako/me now: This could be interesting depending on how her life goes. The problem is, I'm not sure how we'd meet - my guess is, it'd be online. If we're going with a Hisao-less route, or the neutral end, I think she'll come off as really immature, and I'd avoid dealing with that basket of problems. If it's after, say, Hisao's bad end... her misanthropy could become active (like mine), rather than passive (except her misanthropy would still be a defense mechanism, whereas mine is not), and we might even bond over that. But, she'd then have a really hard time trusting me... yeah, this would be ugly. Nothing would happen.
Lilly/me in HS: Lack of common interests, and I'd likely be too abrasive for her. Also, fuck tea.
Lilly/me now: I doubt we'd encounter each other, considering her disability and her lack of computer knowledge. I'd guess that she'd be more cynical than in HS, but that's not exactly the greatest basis for a relationship.
Miki/me in HS: I was too good of a kid in HS for her to want to really associate with me, unless she was asking for help with math homework, or deciding to try someone who isn't an abusive jock... hmm... (I actually had a chance to date a Miki type for exactly that reason when I was in 10th grade, but my anxiety blocked it.)
Miki/me now: I somehow don't see it happening.
Misha/me: Nope. Nopenopenope. Even if she did swing that way, and was interested in me, nope. Far too annoying for me.
Shizune/me: I probably wouldn't be able to stand her, and I'd have difficulty communicating in her preferred methods (and I wouldn't be interested in learning sign just to communicate with her). So, nope.
Rin/me: Aww HELL no. I don't care if she's interested, I'm running away from her.
Yuuko/me while I'm in HS: I have always had a thing for redheads, so I'd probably be attracted to her by default. (Yes, I know, Rin's a redhead, too. I don't care.) I'm not sure if I'd be annoyed by her or be tempted to white knight, though. I'm probably not insane enough for her, though. And, while we'd certainly interact, I don't think we'd be close at all.
Yuuko/me now: I see it as even less likely somehow.
tl;dr: Maybe Akira, maaaaaaybe Miki while we're both still in HS, probably not Hanako. Probably not any of them, tbh, nobody's ever actually dated me.
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Meiko… now let's talk about Meiko for a sec. Being at that age where she appreciates stability in a man, I might have a real shot with her. Also, she's probably the closest to my own age of any female character in the whole game. Also also, I hope by now I could keep up with her flirty nature. So yeah, I'm gonna say my top realistic answer is Meiko. I'm quite ok with this, actually…