Shits goin’ down, someone get tehsmarty!
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Part Two: Border Descent
As I sat in the back of a cargo plane flying low over the mountains of Thailand in the middle of the night, I made a mental note to beat Kenji to death with a whiskey bottle if we didn’t make it out of this. This was without a doubt the craziest thing we had ever done. Of course, at any point I could have said no, but Kenji was right- didn’t I owe it to my children to ensure them a better world?
I owed them a father who didn’t die in Thailand with no forwarding address, but I didn’t think of that until I was in the damn plane. Except for the two of us and the pilot and copilot in front, the plane was empty. Kenji wasn’t kidding when he said we would be disguised- we were both wearing dark blue outfits that reminded me of a ninja, if he had gone on the crusades. We both had on goggles- who knew they made prescription goggles? Parachutes were strapped to our backs, and it was only when I strapped mine on that I thought to ask him if he knew how to use a parachute. His response was “of course, man. I wouldn’t of planned for it otherwise.”
Considering how screwey this plan was- not to mention how likely it was to get me killed- it was some relief that in the weaponry department, we were both well equipped. We each had six Tesla grenades, our Tesla pistols securely holstered to our belts, and our Tesla rifles strapped to our fronts over our body armor. Our Tesla swords were securely strapped to our fronts, too. I was concerned that our only weapons were based on charges, but the Tesla rifles could fire at least twenty shots in quick succession before overheating. That and their self recharge easily made up for the measly five shots our pistols had. We had strapped their chargers to our belts anyway. All the weight made my heart tense a bit, but during the flight I had gotten used to the load.
Now it just had to get used to parachuting into a foreign country illegally. If I didn’t kill Kenji, my wife just might. The pilot said something in English to Kenji who told me that it was time to go. He had to yell over the noise of the engine as we sputtered along. The plane was so old I was surprised it still flew, but it wouldn’t be the first time a hunk of military surplus kept us alive. Kenji stood up and grabbed the cable that had been hooked up along the right side of the plane, over a row of uncomfortable black padded seats. I stood up and did the same.
“Remember,” Kenji shouted as he hooked the cable with a tether, “you have to pull the chord three seconds after we’re out of the plane, or else you won’t be slow enough when we hit the ground and you’ll splat.”
“Thanks for the image!” I yelled back. The rear hatch of the plane started to whir and groan as it slowly lowered. The air rushed out and if it wasn’t for our tethers to the chairs, we would’ve been flung out the hatch. Which was more or less how we were getting out, just more controlled. I made sure my helmet was secured as we started shuffling along the cable closer to the hatch. The pilot said something and Kenji undid his tether to the chair. Sighing and saying goodbye to the last of my sanity, I did the same. Holding firmly onto the cable, we managed to slide a few more steps before jumping out into the night sky as the tether to the cable snapped off on its own. We were able to aim ourselves correctly, facing down towards the open road leading up to the mountain as the ground got annoyingly closer to us.
I quickly yanked my parachute chord and it unfurled behind me in a whoosh, hefting me back a few inches as I descended. I looked around and saw Kenji to my left and a few feet below me. The parachutes were dark blue, and when we weren’t shot at I figured we had either avoided detection, or a group of very angry Illuminati with large guns were waiting for us in the forest. Kenji had planned for that, of course, and said they’d want us alive for torture and summary execution.
At least my heart wasn’t going off. The fortunate thing about tuck and roll was if you suffer a chest concussion in the process, not only are you doing it wrong, but you’re probably dead regardless of a heart condition The ground came pretty quick, and we both managed to tuck and roll successfully, though I ended up tangled in the parachute in the process. Before I could untangle myself, I was dragged off the road into the trees. I thrashed at whoever it was until Kenji told me it was him.
“Sorry about that,” I said as I finally managed to extricate myself from the parachute lines.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kenji said, “you’re prepared, good job. Now get on the bounce, we gotta go.”
Great, he had read
Starship Troopers. Well, if we had Templar power armor, we could be a lot less sneaky, at least. I adjusted my sword to my left side and readied my rifle. Kenji’s rifle was already out and ready as we scanned the area around us. It was dark. There were trees. We were to the right of the narrow unpaved dirt path up the mountain. How exciting.
“Clear,” Kenji whispered. He waited for me to say the same thing before we started moving up. We were at the base of the mountain, and the trees stopped following the path about a hundred meters ahead of us. That was the most dangerous part of the mission, Kenji said- getting up the mountain undetected. Never mind jumping out of a plane or climbing around a cliff, both at night. No, walking uphill was the big danger. Thanks to my running routine, it was probably the least physically risky for me, at least, especially if we kept it slow like Kenji planned.
I wasn’t too surprised when we saw four figures dressed in white armor descending the dirt path. We waited by the edge of the forest, even the various animals around us silent as the four came closer. Kenji pulled out a Tesla grenade and motioned for me to tap him when they were close enough. He may not be able to see, but he has a good arm and disturbingly accurate aim. We were both crouching behind a tree, and the four were taking a long time to look around. I reached towards my belt and brought a pair of night vision binoculars to my eyes. Like I said, Kenji had planned for this very thoroughly.
The four were definitely Illuminati, dressed in white body armor and helmets. Each one had a pair of night vision lenses snapped down over their eyes, and they all had imposing looking rifles steadied as they looked around. Each one had a pistol of some sort and saber- I could tell from the sheath- strapped and holstered to their belts. I wondered for a moment if they had thermal scanning as well. When one of them shot at us, I knew they did.
I ducked down further as a burst of fire went over my head. A warning shot. Kenji groaned and rolled the grenade before ducking down. Before they could fire again the grenade went off, sending bursts and arcs of blue electricity around the four. As the grenade sputtered out they collapsed to the ground.
“Their equipment’ll be fried,” I whispered.
“I know.”
With their radios dead more would probably come after us. One problem at a time, I guess. As we started our crouched ascent up the hill I kept my binoculars out, scanning the forest and the mountainside. Kenji was right about the mountain being devoid of cameras or any remote defenses. Looking up, I could see one of the aging dark stone walls of the sanctuary reaching toward the sky. As we passed the guards, Kenji took there weapons off of them and tossed them down behind us. That would give them something to do on the way out.
“They’ll be pissed when we get back,” I said. Getting out of Thailand was almost as easy as getting in. While the plane that dropped us off was leaving, an old re-fitted helicopter would be coming in from the US embassy in Thailand to pick us up and drop us off in Japan. I tried very hard not to think of all the laws that was breaking when Kenji had told it to me. At least we had a way out of this mess.
The way up the hill took some time, as we paced ourselves to prevent my heart from giving me any problems. At the halfway point I spotted another four figures making their way down towards us, except this time they opened fire as soon as they saw us- we didn’t exactly have anywhere to hide. We did manage to hug the mountainside while they fired at us. We both leveled out Tesla rifles: sleek, dark metal devices with a small glass cylinder filled with blue-purple energy jolting between two poles where the bullet would normally be chambered. I fired first, and managed to hit one just before the arc fizzled out. Realizing they were in range of us they ducked back. My eyes had adjusted to the light, so I could see two of them toss grenades down towards us. Fortunately they rolled by and exploded harmlessly behind us, though the noise hurt for a bit. Kenji fired a couple of wide shots while I tossed a grenade of my own. I was a little high, but the incline of the path made up for that as the grenade took out the three figures.
“We keep this up, every soldier on the base will be after us,” I said.
“Nah, they won’t risk sending anyone else out,” Kenji said, “they’ll want to bolster the defenses inside.”
I rolled my eyes and kept moving; we may have lost the element of surprise, but we didn’t exactly have anything better to do tonight. This time I took care of their weapons, tossing them down the hillside below, after taking a couple of frag grenades, just in case. As we made our way up I was able to see the front gate, a sturdy light wooden structure waiting at the end of the path. I also noticed that the ledge we were supposed to use was gone. It must’ve crumbled away since the data was compiled.
“The ledge is gone,” I said, “now what?”
Kenji grinned and nodded at the barely visible front gate. I glanced back, then at Kenji, and a horrible feeling seeped its way into my balls.
“Oh, no!” I said, “we are not going through the front door!”
“Why not, man? It’s worked every time before.”
“The law of averages is against us, then. Besides, how will we retrieve the data with the entire base shooting at us? Sooner or later they’ll give up trying to take us alive.”
“I planned for that, man. Relax.”
Unfortunately we didn’t have any other choice, so I sighed and signaled for Kenji to move forward. As we got closer, I actually started to admire the aging stone structure. The walls were roughly eight to ten meters high, and the big wooden gate was probably two meters high and almost as wide. The walls looked pretty sturdy, despite their age. From the outside, it looked just like any other sanctuary, Buddhist or otherwise.
I remembered from the blueprints that the sanctuary was a big square, with most of the equipment in the basement. I could just make out the satellite dishes and antennae to our left, surrounded by either natural shrubs or fake ones. Not the best hiding job from the ground, but from the air it probably did a decent job, and this sanctuary was remote enough visitors probably didn’t drop by very often. Fortunately the place didn’t have parapets, or we’d have half the base shooting at us. As it was I heard two dull thunks above us. I quickly scanned the walls and could just make out a slowly rising head on each side of the gate.
“Ladders on the inside of the walls,” I said.
“Book it,” Kenji bolted for the door, easing to the right of the gate. I crouch-ran the rest of the way to the gate’s left just as their fire shot passed us. Sounded like they were using sniper rifles. Kenji grinned at me as he pulled two large clumps of C-4 from his belt. He had enough of the stuff to blast the door, according to him. I nodded and he slammed the two explosives onto the center of the gate just as I heard the grenades drop down around us. He armed the explosives as we bolted for the corners, our only safety from the explosion. I rounded the corner just as the grenades and C-4 went off. The noise ruptured the relative silence of the mountains, and I heard chattering birds having a fit as their night sleep was interrupted. I shook my head and checked my heart. It thudded hard once before calming down. I wheeled around and readied my rifle, peering around the corner. As the dust settled I rushed next to the broken and splintered remains of the gate, Kenji doing the same on the other side.
“You ready?” Kenji asked.
“Sure, why the hell not?” I asked. I readied a grenade at the same time he did, and we both tossed them into the sanctuary. When they were done jolting electricity we stepped into the remains of the gate and inside the Illuminati base.
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Pro-tip, kids: entering a country by parachute is a bad idea. Awesome, but bad.
