Well, it took me an entire week of procrastination, but I finally managed to read the whole of Tomorrow's Doom in it's current state!
I would go over every little detail that I liked (Shizune's "All your base" - I died XD), but that would take forever and make a huge post, so here's my broad thoughts on a few things:
Aiko: Probably my favourite OC girl on the forums (unless you count Suzu - which I don't really). She's a pretty well rounded character, who reminds me of a few people I know IRL, actually, and she does seem to fit right in to the KS-verse along with the rest of the cast. However, I would recommend she get her mind out of the gutter ASAP, but I think she may have already contracted HIV and Hepatitis from prolonged exposure.
The OCs: You've put together quite the diverse cast here, and I really like pretty much all of them.
Amaya is quite possibly the best bro-character I've seen in a while, and I love the interactions between her and the rest of the cast.
Yoko's just sweet - although, she does seem to have just as dirty a mind as the other girls in the troupe.
I think she needs to bed Kenta ASAP before she goes full dominatrix on him. I can see it happening...
Speaking of Kenta, he is the other awesome bro-character that this fic has generated and the sarcasm is exactly the kind of thing I wish I could pull off myself - if I was actually funny.
No real comment on Tadao or Naoko - they're both cool in their own ways, just no real comment as of now.
Writing: This fic is, to me, what would happen if you took Learning to Fly and A Pseudo Pseudo Suzu Route and then mashed them together in one big blob - of awesome. Having it shown from the perspective of Aiko is much better than having it done from Hisao's perspective
IMO he's kinda boring when exposed to for too long and it really helps that she herself is nicely fleshed-out. You have the wit and you're definitely talented (you got me to waste a week reading this - that says a lot).
Anyways, [/stupid rambling].
Kinda redundant when so many others have said it before, but please, for the love of god, keep going with this! I love it!
God-dammit, now I'm invested...
P.S. If "Happy valley" isn't on your gravestone, then I shall be very disappointed
Edit: I just remembered something from chapter 31 that really pisses me off whenever I see it (which is, admittedly, not often, but still):
Helbereth wrote:so I can watch him breathe. Once I'm sure his respiration has returned to normal
Okay, biology 101 here, respiration
=/= breathing. Breathing is inhaling and exhaling,
respiration is the chemical reaction of glucose and oxygen that produces energy within cells.
Unless Aiko had some way of monitoring the amount of carbon dioxide Hisao was exhaling, lactic acid concentrations in his muscles etc, there's no way she would know when his respiration had returned to normal.
Sorry to be pedantic, but this particular mistake irritates me to no end.