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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:34 pm
by Kouryuu
ArazelEternal wrote:Then it was like, yeah, big deal. It isnt anything special. Its something that people do better than me everyday, and nothing to be proud of. Then the depression came back just as it was before.
I used to think like this too and ended up not doing anything because there was always someone better. Now though I think what other people can do/think is really irrelevant. For you that is badass. You should feel badass and if anyone laughs you pity them for not being able to feel badass. They dont understand so you dont care. If something is hard for you and you overcome it then thats awsome, no one takes that away.

Hmm I wish I was better with words but hopefully that makes some sort of sense ^^.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:40 pm
by Xiious
Update:

She won't answer me. I'm feeling terribly alone right now, but she's been ignoring me all day. I haven't really talked to her since the day after she kissed me... I don't know what's going on...

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:38 pm
by Episcia
Xiious wrote:Update:

She won't answer me. I'm feeling terribly alone right now, but she's been ignoring me all day. I haven't really talked to her since the day after she kissed me... I don't know what's going on...
Talk to her! She thinks you didn't like her back. D:

Anyway, my turn. Right now, I'm in a very healthy and loving long-distance relationship with my best friend for three years - however, before that..let's just say I went through an emotional -storm. I had an online relationship with someone in an MMO on my second year of high school, and I was content enough for the most part, until I started neglecting her. I admit - it entirely was my fault. I started to take her presence for granted, and in the middle of a school day, four years ago, on a particularly hot day, we broke up (she had started yet another relationship some weeks before, she told - this brought the pain to a new level too). Both of us were quite in tears - it was quite hard on both of us. For a year, I had a particularly nasty twinge of pain in my heart every single time I saw her name anywhere (and it was quite a common name too). I was really depressed - drowned myself in games, and my grades took a nosedive, as I ended up neglecting my studies.

This is why I really was affected in Lilly's route - I was like Hisao then, taking her for granted. The only thing is, Hisao was lucky to realize it before it was too late (in the good end anyway).

On my third year, though, things started to get better again. I met my significant other as a classmate - we started an incredibly close friendship that culminated in a mutual relationship the next year. Grades went back up, as I enjoyed my life more and more. I managed to graduate and leave my high school in good terms, move to the US, and enter a good college - which is where I started to have a long-distance relationship with her. We still love each other with a great passion - she can be quite a Lilly too, heh.

That's it! Episcia, signing off.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:24 pm
by ArazelEternal
Again tonight I'm going out to have some fun. I'm watching one of my friends play in his band at the High Noon Saloon in Madison, Wisconsin. They are called Prog. They play Genesis, Rush, Yes and Jethro Tull. Let's hope I meet some cool people. If they like this music, they have to be. :)

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:40 pm
by Walrusfella
Xiious wrote:Update:

She won't answer me. I'm feeling terribly alone right now, but she's been ignoring me all day. I haven't really talked to her since the day after she kissed me... I don't know what's going on...
It sounds like might be fear - an "Oh-my-goodness-what-have-I-done-what-if-he-thinks-i'm-a-fool-oh-no-oh-no" sort of thing. I'm just speculating here, but that might cause someone to clam up. Maybe you could tell her that you've been thinking a lot about what she did and ask how you should view it?

I hope you've managed to catch at least a bit of sleep. I'm pulling for you.
ArazelEternal wrote:Again tonight I'm going out to have some fun. I'm watching one of my friends play in his band at the High Noon Saloon in Madison, Wisconsin. They are called Prog. They play Genesis, Rush, Yes and Jethro Tull. Let's hope I meet some cool people. If they like this music, they have to be.
Sounds fun! Have a good time.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:03 am
by KryingPhoenix
June has not been a good month for my heart. Girl problems all around. This story goes quite a ways back, with a girl I'm going to call Parisa. I probably could safely use her real name here since I doubt she knows what a Visual Novel is, but I'll stick with this alias.

My senior year of high school sucked. I was "mature" for my age, and I don't tolerate stupid people so I got along well with my upperclassmen. Nearly all of my friends were older than me. Most of them female, yet seeing other people so I had no chance to date them. The advice I heard around was since it's high school they'll probably break up with their boyfriend anyway, and that'll be my chance to slide in. A healthy romantic relationship needs a foundation of a healthy friendship, so I befriended them, keeping my crush silent. Turns out, they either kept dating their boyfriends, or for the one that did break up, decided to "friend zone" me. Her exact method of doing that ruined my friendship with her, but that's partially my fault and really has nothing to do with this story.

Anyway, my senior year of high school sucked. My friends were gone, leaving me behind. I tried to distract myself with video games, and stumbled on a flash game site that had a chat box on the side. I met Parisa there, through that chat box, and we became quick friends since we were the few intelligent people on this site. In a way, she was probably just as lonely as me as she was homeschooled and didn't have a strong social life. I think because we were both so lonely and the fact that I treated her like a human we started to strongly care for each other, and started cyberdating. And by that, I mean we sent *kisses* to each other, but also opened up to each others hearts.

Parisa practically carried me through that year, and when the summer came around I got a car and learned to drive. Parisa only lived an hour and a half away from me, but for two people that can't drive, that's an eternity away. I wanted to meet up with her, to take this relationship to something real since both of us weren't too thrilled with not being able to see each other. But her father was strict, and she chickened out and couldn't bring up the courage to ask his permission to meet up. The only reason I cyberdated her was because there was that vague possibility we could meet, and with that gone, we broke up, but kept in contact. I was going into college and my parents were moving out. For most of the first semester at college, I was completely alone, and I remember begging her not to leave me to because I needed someone to talk to. And we kept in contact.

I loved Parisa more than she loved me back. Ironically we started college about the same time because her homeschooling allowed her to graduate early. As friends, she kept pressuring me to go out and meet other women, but that was difficult for me because I'm so awkwardly quiet. It didn't help that the girls I DID meet had the exact same problem I had back in high school: dating someone else. I couldn't even turn back to Parisa (and oh did I try) because she too started dating someone where she lived, but we stayed as friends. That summer, we tried to take advantage of her new freedom to meet up. Although she still relied on her parents for transportation, we found a way to meet behind their backs at a weekly D&D event at her table-top games store. It was perfect, like we had known each other our whole life, despite meeting in the flesh for the first time. After our first meeting, she broke up with her boyfriend, and we grew serious again. This time I wanted to make it happen for real. We met up again, but one of her other friends noticed how close we were, and a few days later asked her out. And again she chose someone near her than me.

I was heartbroken like I never had been before. Although I had friends of my own, I've always been terrible at contacting them when I don't have a regular time and place to see them. The only person who could help me through this pain was Parisa herself...and this was quite possibly the stupidest thing I could have ever done...yet somehow it worked, as a testament to our friendship. We don't call each other best friends for nothing. Over time she fought for freedom from her parents and now we meet up a bit more often, usually once every few months we our work schedules mesh. As I watched her relationship with her new boyfriend grow stably and happily, she kept pressuring me to pursue some of my female friends. For the most part that wasn't successful but that's always been my luck. But, if it weren't for her it would have taken me months (instead of weeks) to build up the courage to ask out the girl of my previous relationship. (You know, this one.)

Since I started therapy, I've been thinking a lot of my habits, especially when it comes to my romantic life. Especially my "waiting for her to be single again" strategy which has not worked at all. Maybe I've been fortunate that none of the women I've waited for ever broke up, and for the ones that did, they didn't want to date me. It's probably not the best way to start a relationship with someone, and with my co-dependency issues, it's almost certainly a bad way for me. Although I still hold some romantic feelings for Parisa after all these years, I've since come to accept that she no longer and probably will not feel that way back for me. Yet she is my closest friend, and that's what I truly treasure about her. Besides, I'm about to move to another college which will put another hour between us. It still isn't much in the grand scheme of things, since she still refuses to drive makes meeting up a challenge already.



A few hours ago Parisa told me she broke up with her boyfriend, and all my resolve shattered. I've been wanting to see her again just to hang out with her since we haven't seen each other in a few months, and now we have plans to meet up next Monday. I'm really scared, for both of us. I'm scared for her because her method of dealing with this is to completely isolate herself from all her mutual friends with her ex-boyfriend and I don't want her to be depressed and lonely. I'm scared for myself because if there was one girl I could have wished for my "wait for her to be single again" strategy could work for, it would be Parisa.
Now my wish came true.

I really do not want to do something stupid, and there is a great deal of potential for this. I do not want to take advantage of her, and I don't want her to take advantage of me (although I'm pretty certain she won't, I'm not fully sure what's going on with her at the moment). I think I might play through Hanako's route again to remind myself why caring too much for someone can be toxic. One of the things I've learned in therapy that is to not care (or rather, care-take) for someone, but to nurture someone to help them become someone greater. i think right now that means I need to distance myself from Parisa. I'm not going to cancel our plans, since she did say she wanted to see me, but I need to tread very lightly.


Sorry for the wall of text. I think I started this out hoping to ask whether this was a smart idea...but I think I may have found my answers.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:31 am
by Beoran
KryingPhoenix,

Hmm, sorry if this sounds harsh but I think "waiting for her to be single again" sounds a lot like a devious scheme. Trying to catch a lady on the rebound may be easier for you, but it's rather conniving to plan your whole strategy for finding love like that. And I'm sure it will backfire in many ways. When you meet "Parisa", be honest to her. Especially about how you used to be lurking for the rebound, and how you don't want to do that to her, just want to stay friends.

Walrusfella, your relatioship advice about the importance of listening is great. Even though I'm married for 6 years now, I'm a very spacey sort of person, and even though I'm introverted, I also find it hard to listen to others since I'm too often caught in my own thoughts and world. Even though I'm generally well intentioned, I have caused problems simply because I didn't listen well or made unfounded assumptions.

Xiious, I hope you can get to meet her again. I think that girl too needs you to be mostly honest to her. It's all a bit a sudden change for you and I guess that's where the nightmares come from. If you're unsure if you like her, then tell her that , tell her the basics of what happened in the past and why you re a bit reluctant now. I think she needs to know so she doesn't panic or think she did something wrong.

Episcia, thanks for your story. I hope things keep going swimmingly for you!

More for the others later...

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:49 am
by Kouryuu
@Xiious - That sounds terrible but I think Walrusfella is right. I think you said she was really shy and then she did that? Definitely seems like she's nervous about talking to you again. I dont really know the situation but if there is a way to let her know its ok, maybe that will calm her enough to talk.

@Epsicia - Thats a nice tale, glad it's all working out :)

@ArazelEternal - Sounds like good fun and I agree, people who like your kind of music have to be awsome.

@KryingPhoenix - I read all of it (really testing me here :P) but I dont know what to say. Sometimes thinking it through/writing it down can help you clear your mind and come to your own conclusion which seems to be what you have done. I did that also but I didnt post, I just wrote in notepad and saved it ^^. I think your conclusion is solid, you just gotta stay calm and keep your head :).

Now for some me time. Today I am going to finally write that email to my old friend, I should have done it sooner but my mind was focused on gw2 bwe (that ended yesterday) then catching up on sleep and then back to sorting my life out (mood/myself wise I am sorted but I am unemployed due to fear). So that means today I am doing it and I am telling you guys so I can't put it off ^^. I may not send it today though but definitely write it.

Then I have to apply for 1 job a day. Yeah I am going to die from sheer panic in a few days but if I want to go where I want to go I need money. So thats how I am rationalising it. Yeah. Now I am just typing more here for no reason to delay what I really need to do. Why did I have to be so scared of everything? And I am being quite literal... ^^

Ok ok I am pressing submit now.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:05 pm
by Guest
For Xiious - you did say before that you weren't sure if she broke up with her boyfriend as it was; you just thought it could be the case. But even if so, she may be feeling conflicted due to that relationship after kissing you anyway, if she's not feeling shame from worrying about your reaction (which she probably is). There's not much you can do but wait for a response... perhaps leave her a message like "I realize you probably don't want to talk right now, but give me a call when you do, okay?" And if you're not upset or anything, mention that in the message too.

For Phoenix - I have to agree with Beoran's assessment of the "wait for them to break up" strategy.
That aside, if you're worried about being dishonest or whatever with her, or taking advantage, I'd just advise being as honest as possible about everything you're feeling and thinking now, good or bad. As bad as the idea might sound, maybe even let her read that long post you just put here, so she'd have a better idea of where you're coming from?

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:34 pm
by KryingPhoenix
Beoran wrote:Hmm, sorry if this sounds harsh but I think "waiting for her to be single again" sounds a lot like a devious scheme. Trying to catch a lady on the rebound may be easier for you, but it's rather conniving to plan your whole strategy for finding love like that. And I'm sure it will backfire in many ways. When you meet "Parisa", be honest to her. Especially about how you used to be lurking for the rebound, and how you don't want to do that to her, just want to stay friends.
Guest wrote:For Phoenix - I have to agree with Beoran's assessment of the "wait for them to break up" strategy.
That aside, if you're worried about being dishonest or whatever with her, or taking advantage, I'd just advise being as honest as possible about everything you're feeling and thinking now, good or bad. As bad as the idea might sound, maybe even let her read that long post you just put here, so she'd have a better idea of where you're coming from?
I think deep down I knew it was a cruel thing to do, but because of how difficult it is for me to meet new people and the shear fact that 95% of the time every single girl I'm friends with is dating someone (seriously, how does this keep happening?) means I had little option. Oh, and to make myself seem even worse, my whole plan also includes giving her several months to recover so I don't become that rebound. Somewhat ironically for the few friends that did break up with their boyfriends, when I finally did start making my move, it was already too late. Hell, three days after one girl turned me down after I asked her out, she asked out another guy and started a long-distance relationship. I think by now she's finished moving in with him.
Getting myself to realize that this "plan" is cruel and unhealthy is something I'm gradually forcing myself to admit. You two kind of helped just hammer the nail in a bit further.

I don't know how much I'm going to tell her. Whatever I do, it's probably going to be the same conversation we've had before a couple times already. I might try if one of us makes a move on the other, and I'll probably show her this. Over the years we've known each other, she hasn't minded my rambling walls of text.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:14 pm
by Surreal-mind
@Xiious: In previous posts, you made her sound like she is extremely shy.... If that's really the case, you should stop worrying so much. Shy people tend to act that way. She's probably afraid that you might reject her or something like that.

@ArazelEternal: Good luck dude ! Hope you meet cool people.

@Kouryuu: Good luck with the job hunt.I'm sure things will go well for you! :)

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:53 pm
by introfate
Reading this, I've mustered the strength to remove the facade I've lived behind for quite some time if not forever. First and foremost I would like to thank the creators of Katawa Shoujo, and secondly too all of you who have shared your stories and advice, As my case seems a bit too common the root of it seems to repeat itself with any relationship I've delved into. My last attept ended differently but it also caused me to lose a very great and unique friend.

Note: This may become long and drawn out, I apologize in advance if it does.

My name is Adam, I'm twenty-one. I developed a physical disability when I was two years old due to a powered clothing iron landing on my right calf disabling the muscle tissue to build at a normal rate which has caused my left calf to double in size. I've lived in Las Vegas, Nevada for the majority of my life. In such a fast-pace town it seems as if there isn't anyplace for someone like me. Acceptance is something difficult to achieve and no one has the time to take you under wing.

Starting from the beginning, I've always been an introverted person. I never had that drive or initiative to meet new people in the physical world because I felt as if allowing people to know me they would not accept me, and for where I tried I was denied acceptance. I being a Greek, Hispanic and a little Japanese, it appears to most as if I'm African-American or of some other decent. I've always been a generous person, a quiet one. while growing up it felt as if every year I switched schools, so I found it futile to gain friends at a young age. Which has formed this on-going Online Addiction. When I reached the Ninth Grade, I stayed in the same High School throughout graduation. Since I was so introverted people found it easy to single me out. In my homeroom class, I thought I had met a girl who had found me appealing; It didn't turn out to be so. She fabricated this relationship if you will, spent time with me got to know me. I thought I found someone who was genuinely fond of me so it put me to work, I was on a mission.. I began to make my school days revolve around her. I would pay for her lunch and she would invite me to sit with her friends. I knew the stares were odd which caused me to become even more quieter, In my head I would think "Come on Aimee, can we go?" That obviously was a futile attempt at wishing for the best. After school I would walk her to her bus and watch her get on, and I would ride my bike home. This went on for three quarters of the year until one night she calls me and asks for me to find her before class in the morning. I agreed and made certain that I was there a bit earlier than normal. She approached me, gave me a hug and looked into my eyes with more of a glint of what I thought at the time to be a strong emotion of liking. That lingered in my mind throughout the day until lunch when I told her that I wanted to walk her home. She acknowledge. In my mind I was so nervous because I wanted her to be my girlfriend and with this on-going friendship it felt as if it was finally the right time to confess to her. As the final bell rings, I rush towards her classroom and before I make it there I see her walking down the hallway with her friends. I catch up to her and we make our journey to her house. I wasn't aware her friends lived so close by to her so they invited themselves to walk with us too. As we finally make it to her house we embrace and I ask that question "Would you like to be my girlfriend." She stares at me for a moment, my mind is racing. She replies, My heart shatters and her exact words run through my mind, still to this very day. "I was only doing this because I thought you would have fun pretending."

The funny thing about that, I never took it as pretending. It felt as if she was twisting the blade that was lodged in my back.

Now word of that got around the school fast, it only made me more of a social outcast with caused my grades to decline and my online addiction to increase. That summer I had to attend summer class and every year following. My effort was dwindled and all I could find to sate my happiness was to play video games online. For my Sophomore and Junior years I received my share of names and that memory lingered on throughout the school. During the summer after my Junior year I was playing a game online and had met this girl. She was one year younger than me but our likes were exactly the same. I made it a ritual to meet with her online and it only took a matter of a month for me to begin this cyber relationship with her. We did this for a couple of years until one day I snapped. I was determined to join the military so I felt as if I had to relinquish everything I knew and loved. I told her what was going on and I urged her that it would be the best move to discontinue dating. She took it hard but the only solution I knew was to block her from everything I had befriended her on. I changed my IP and my Cellphone number. As I applied for the military I was denied due to my physical disability. That shattered me even greater. With the funds I had, I decided to travel for a year. It was worthwhile, it had shown me some happiness. As I came back to Las Vegas, I picked up a job at Starbucks. I've worked it for two and a half years, Last year a new employee joined our store. There was something about her that drew me. She was very intrigued about my travels and I shared my experiences. We began dating, but it was more on the scale of close friends. Last December I thought I was ready to delve into an actual relationship with her. I took her out to the Mountains and we shared a hike. When we reached our destination you could peer over to the city which was enshrouded by cloud coverage. I embraced her, we kissed. She looked into my eyes with more of a regretful look and peeled away from me. She demanded she wanted to go so I had no choice but to take her back to her house. When we reached her house she said she never wanted to speak to me again, I was puzzled by it. I work with her, I didn't know what to think. Towards the end of December I had a non-profit runway shoot and invited her to come. She came but with another man. I come to find out she's been in a relationship with this guy for a few years. It put a heavy weight on my heart to see her there with him. After it was over, all I said was "I understand, now." She had no words to give me, she turned away. The following day comes, I find out she put her two weeks in. I didn't think much about it.

As months had gone by I lived my life as I had before she came along. You know, the daily routine. My birthday has just passed a couple weeks back. I enjoyed myself with my uncle and his friends. A genuine night on the town. I read Katawa Shoujo and completed it 100% in the span of five days. I'll have you note Hanako's story was truly my favorite. I've fallen a bit for the fictional character.. Yesterday morning I found the girl I met online again. Her Youtube page, I felt as if It was the right time to apologize for what I've done and so I did. I explained to her in full detail what had come over me and what I've done since. Now I'm just nervous to see her reply if one.

A bit like what Iwanako had done.

For those of you out there who have read this, I apologize for giving you my whole life story but I feel as if it has been something I have to tell. My family believes they know me, the few daily acquaintances do too. But for those of you out here, you truly know what I am.

I thank you.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:30 pm
by Kouryuu
@KryingPhoenix - I dont really know what to say but I hope it all goes well for you and if it doesnt were all here for you <3

@Surreal-mind - Thanks! :)

@introfate - Wow the last line of the fourth paragraph, so powerful. This is why I have never pursue'd love. The low of the feeling far outweighs the high but enough about me.

I sort of know what its like to always hide in school and escape into video games. I was terrified in school all the time because at anytime for no reason at all the popular kids could choose you as their victim. I was fortunate that nothing bad happened to me beyond some minor abuse but I feared the worst everyday. I might have been lucky that 2 of my friends were 'louder' and 'stronger' than I, so most of the attention was on them and not me. Didnt I say enough about me? Sorry.

That girl in the 6th paragraph... I cant believe that happened. I really dislike it when people cant just tell you things straight up, I know its hard to do but she did nothing to let you know her situation... I guess you can atleast take away that it was not your fault. If it was the right person it would have all worked out, she was just the wrong person so it didnt. Does that make sense?

I hope this girl you messaged replies. Just think if she does and she wants to talk, it means she truly was a good friend and is worth keeping around, if she doesnt then you dont need to know her. Maybe that sounds harsh but you had your reasons and made a hard choice, you went with you and didnt throw away what you wanted to do for someone else. I think thats a good thing.

You dont need to apologize, its good to tell your story. Even if no one was to give any advice, it probably makes you feel better. It's like when somethings in your head and makes no sense or makes you feel bad and then you say it out loud or write it down, it can sometimes clear your head a bit.

No, thank you ^^.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:45 pm
by introfate
Kouryuu,
I really do appreciate your input. It's a bit nice being heard by others who all share a common instance or feeling.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:51 pm
by Kouryuu
introfate wrote:Kouryuu,
I really do appreciate your input. It's a bit nice being heard by others who all share a common instance or feeling.
It's all good. Do let us know when this girl replies ^^.