bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Basically, this was inspired by the events of Sneaking Mission in the VN, but from the angle of, she just lost all of her friends, and only had two to begin with, due to her communication problems.
So, she used her family connections to start a business to develop a new kind of hearing implant, that could give her hearing. (I'm under the impression that a normal cochlear implant wouldn't work for her.)
Due to a race condition, the implants could end up in a mode where they dumped full power into the brain, causing severe damage. She was in a coma, but had some thought processes going somewhere.
I should've thought through how she could die connected to life support, but eh. Maybe heart just stopped, she'd just be on a ventilator I'd think.
MALFUNCTION 54 was one of the error messages that the Therac-25 radiation therapy system would give to indicate an underdose... but it often indicated a MASSIVE overdose.
Also, I'd think that she heard every report of a patient suffering from it failing, and her own doctors were asking for her to remove the implant once the pattern emerged, but she refused until it was too late.
Edit: Fixed tenses.
So, she used her family connections to start a business to develop a new kind of hearing implant, that could give her hearing. (I'm under the impression that a normal cochlear implant wouldn't work for her.)
Due to a race condition, the implants could end up in a mode where they dumped full power into the brain, causing severe damage. She was in a coma, but had some thought processes going somewhere.
I should've thought through how she could die connected to life support, but eh. Maybe heart just stopped, she'd just be on a ventilator I'd think.
MALFUNCTION 54 was one of the error messages that the Therac-25 radiation therapy system would give to indicate an underdose... but it often indicated a MASSIVE overdose.
Also, I'd think that she heard every report of a patient suffering from it failing, and her own doctors were asking for her to remove the implant once the pattern emerged, but she refused until it was too late.
Edit: Fixed tenses.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6149
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
You know I never really saw the point in restricting yourself to a certain word count...
But if you feel the need to explain your stories after they are finished, you clearly failed to explain enough in the story itself.
Now, you could have let this story stand on its own and let the readers form their own interpretations, but by writing this author's note, you effectively used way more than 100 words for your story, so you can't even claim it is for training purposes.
But if you feel the need to explain your stories after they are finished, you clearly failed to explain enough in the story itself.
Now, you could have let this story stand on its own and let the readers form their own interpretations, but by writing this author's note, you effectively used way more than 100 words for your story, so you can't even claim it is for training purposes.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Hmm... good point...
I guess... consider the explanation to be optional, and not part of the story. Even if it's posted right after the story. Note that I don't post them in the same post, though.
Also, I didn't include the trigger warning in the word count. I figured that was fair enough.
I guess... consider the explanation to be optional, and not part of the story. Even if it's posted right after the story. Note that I don't post them in the same post, though.
Also, I didn't include the trigger warning in the word count. I figured that was fair enough.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
There's this guy, who lost his hearing when he was a teen. He could talk and lip read, and a few years ago he got one of those hearing implants that connect inside his brain, and there is a sort of a microphone outside his skull. We live in Brazil, btw
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune
best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin
Eh, that's my opinion.
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune
best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin
Eh, that's my opinion.
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Hmm.
Maybe I jumped the gun on the premise a bit... Although maybe it could just work as a more effective cochlear implant, or maybe those pathways weren't present in Shizune's brain (having been born deaf), so she had an implant developed that used a different pathway (like the camera-based vision systems for blind people that use shocks on the tongue).
I do think I want to try something different with Shizune's, though - I was trying to go a very different direction, and that's what came out.
Maybe I jumped the gun on the premise a bit... Although maybe it could just work as a more effective cochlear implant, or maybe those pathways weren't present in Shizune's brain (having been born deaf), so she had an implant developed that used a different pathway (like the camera-based vision systems for blind people that use shocks on the tongue).
I do think I want to try something different with Shizune's, though - I was trying to go a very different direction, and that's what came out.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
there's no need to be scientifically correct in a short story, though.
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune
best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin
Eh, that's my opinion.
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune
best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin
Eh, that's my opinion.
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Well, I want the background to at least be somewhat plausible. And, the idea behind rewriting Shizune's isn't to fix that (I proposed other fixes for that), it's that I want to try a different storyline entirely. Just not sure what.
BTW, I thought of a good analogy for my author's notes.
Think of them like DVD extras that are longer than the movie. They're not needed to enjoy the story, but they're something more that can help explain things if you want it.
BTW, I thought of a good analogy for my author's notes.
Think of them like DVD extras that are longer than the movie. They're not needed to enjoy the story, but they're something more that can help explain things if you want it.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
A Little Push, part 1
This one's pushing the limits of one-shot, it's a 3-parter. But, I can't get it to flow with real chapters, so this format works better. And, Helbereth has been known to do 5-part chapters. Here's to hoping I got Hanako in-character. Set after Lilly's good end. Also, trigger warning: character death. I've really gotta stop doing that, but the idea came to me last night, and I decided to run with it.
----------
I hear someone knocking on the door across the hall, and my attention is jerked away from the textbook.
"Lilly? Are... you... in... there?"
It's Hisao, and he sounds... panicked, and winded.
I open my door. Hisao looks like he's about to collapse. "H-Hisao? Wh-what's going on?"
"I can't... find Lilly."
"Sh-she said she was going t-to meet you at the Sh-Shanghai."
"I know, I already went there, and Yuuko hadn't seen her, either." No wonder he's so winded. "I tried calling her, too, no answer. That's why I came here."
That's rather unlike Lilly...
"I-I can check the t-tea room... y-you stay here, c-catch a breath. I-I'll call you."
When I arrive at the tea room, there's no sign of Lilly. This is bad.
I pull out my cell phone, and call Hisao.
He immediately picks up, and asks, "Hanako, did you find her?"
"N-No. Meet me at the ad-administrative building. W-We're going to r-report h-her m-m-missing."
I try to avoid thinking about the worst, but fail. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.
----------
I'm surprised to see Hanako make it to class this morning. After last night, I didn't get any sleep, and based on the bags under her eyes, it looks like she didn't either.
All of the teachers were probably informed of Lilly's disappearance, so Mutou doesn't remark on my late arrival.
I try to concentrate on class, but frankly, I'm too worried about Lilly to give a damn about string theory. Looking over at Hanako, I think she's feeling the same way.
Just as I think that, Miyagi and Nurse enter the classroom. Wait, why Nurse?
Mutou speaks up. "Can I help you?"
Miyagi replies, "Mutou, could we please borrow Nakai and Ikezawa for a while?"
I exchange a glance with Hanako. This can't be good. Mutou motions for us to follow them.
"Let's find somewhere more private than the hallway," Nurse says. More private? Yeah, this is bad.
Hanako nods, and leads the way to the tea room. She gestures for everyone to take a seat.
Hanako is the first to speak up. "D-Did they find L-L-Lilly?"
At that question, both Miyagi and Nurse's faces drop.
Miyagi takes a deep breath, and says, "yes. She was found in town last night... she had been hit by a car. They think she tripped on something, and fell in the street. I... I'm sorry..." A tear falls from Miyagi's eye.
A maelstrom of emotions forms inside of me. I yell, "Wait, what? Lilly can't be... she can't!"
My heart starts racing.
Nurse says, "Hisao, please calm down. Getting angry won't solve anything."
"She was the love of my life, I almost died to keep her from leaving! I think I'm allowed to be angry about losing her like this."
As I stand up to leave the room, I see a flash of red in my vision, and my chest suddenly tightens. I put my hand on my chest, and concentrate on stabilizing my heartbeat. After a few moments, everything's back to normal.
So that's why Nurse was here. I'd be a little insulted by that, if it weren't for me actually having a flutter.
Nurse and Miyagi look at me with concerned expressions. I sit back down.
"Alright, alright, you're right. It won't solve anything."
I realize that Hanako hasn't said anything, though, and glance over at her. She looks almost... catatonic, and she isn't doing any of her normal nervous tics.
Seems Nurse picked up on this about the same time I did, as he speaks up. "Miyagi, could you please get Nakai to my office? One of my assistants will be there, and can give him a checkup. I'll stay behind."
Miyagi nods, and escorts me to Nurse's office.
----------
It's been a week since Miyagi broke the news about Lilly.
I'm still not entirely sure I believe it.
Our family's just been broken up like that, without warning.
I've barely left my room since my panic attack. It didn't help that Hisao had a heart flutter, I could've lost both members of my family, just like that. Just like... no, I won't think about it.
At least they had the foresight to send Nurse, in case Hisao was worse off.
Hisao's been stopping by every day, checking up on me, making sure I eat. Honestly, he doesn't have to do that. I should be the one checking up on him.
Yesterday, the official report about Lilly's death was released. It was the same thing Miyagi told us - she tripped on something, fell into the path of a car, and was run over. The driver wasn't charged.
Something isn't right, though.
Lilly was way too careful to trip over something. While she didn't usually go alone, she had been to the Shanghai dozens of times, she knew the way, and everything that could have been in the way. For that matter, she ended up guiding me some of the time.
So, does that mean she was... pushed?
I decide that I need to look into this. It's the least I could do for her.
----------
I hear someone knocking on the door across the hall, and my attention is jerked away from the textbook.
"Lilly? Are... you... in... there?"
It's Hisao, and he sounds... panicked, and winded.
I open my door. Hisao looks like he's about to collapse. "H-Hisao? Wh-what's going on?"
"I can't... find Lilly."
"Sh-she said she was going t-to meet you at the Sh-Shanghai."
"I know, I already went there, and Yuuko hadn't seen her, either." No wonder he's so winded. "I tried calling her, too, no answer. That's why I came here."
That's rather unlike Lilly...
"I-I can check the t-tea room... y-you stay here, c-catch a breath. I-I'll call you."
When I arrive at the tea room, there's no sign of Lilly. This is bad.
I pull out my cell phone, and call Hisao.
He immediately picks up, and asks, "Hanako, did you find her?"
"N-No. Meet me at the ad-administrative building. W-We're going to r-report h-her m-m-missing."
I try to avoid thinking about the worst, but fail. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.
----------
I'm surprised to see Hanako make it to class this morning. After last night, I didn't get any sleep, and based on the bags under her eyes, it looks like she didn't either.
All of the teachers were probably informed of Lilly's disappearance, so Mutou doesn't remark on my late arrival.
I try to concentrate on class, but frankly, I'm too worried about Lilly to give a damn about string theory. Looking over at Hanako, I think she's feeling the same way.
Just as I think that, Miyagi and Nurse enter the classroom. Wait, why Nurse?
Mutou speaks up. "Can I help you?"
Miyagi replies, "Mutou, could we please borrow Nakai and Ikezawa for a while?"
I exchange a glance with Hanako. This can't be good. Mutou motions for us to follow them.
"Let's find somewhere more private than the hallway," Nurse says. More private? Yeah, this is bad.
Hanako nods, and leads the way to the tea room. She gestures for everyone to take a seat.
Hanako is the first to speak up. "D-Did they find L-L-Lilly?"
At that question, both Miyagi and Nurse's faces drop.
Miyagi takes a deep breath, and says, "yes. She was found in town last night... she had been hit by a car. They think she tripped on something, and fell in the street. I... I'm sorry..." A tear falls from Miyagi's eye.
A maelstrom of emotions forms inside of me. I yell, "Wait, what? Lilly can't be... she can't!"
My heart starts racing.
Nurse says, "Hisao, please calm down. Getting angry won't solve anything."
"She was the love of my life, I almost died to keep her from leaving! I think I'm allowed to be angry about losing her like this."
As I stand up to leave the room, I see a flash of red in my vision, and my chest suddenly tightens. I put my hand on my chest, and concentrate on stabilizing my heartbeat. After a few moments, everything's back to normal.
So that's why Nurse was here. I'd be a little insulted by that, if it weren't for me actually having a flutter.
Nurse and Miyagi look at me with concerned expressions. I sit back down.
"Alright, alright, you're right. It won't solve anything."
I realize that Hanako hasn't said anything, though, and glance over at her. She looks almost... catatonic, and she isn't doing any of her normal nervous tics.
Seems Nurse picked up on this about the same time I did, as he speaks up. "Miyagi, could you please get Nakai to my office? One of my assistants will be there, and can give him a checkup. I'll stay behind."
Miyagi nods, and escorts me to Nurse's office.
----------
It's been a week since Miyagi broke the news about Lilly.
I'm still not entirely sure I believe it.
Our family's just been broken up like that, without warning.
I've barely left my room since my panic attack. It didn't help that Hisao had a heart flutter, I could've lost both members of my family, just like that. Just like... no, I won't think about it.
At least they had the foresight to send Nurse, in case Hisao was worse off.
Hisao's been stopping by every day, checking up on me, making sure I eat. Honestly, he doesn't have to do that. I should be the one checking up on him.
Yesterday, the official report about Lilly's death was released. It was the same thing Miyagi told us - she tripped on something, fell into the path of a car, and was run over. The driver wasn't charged.
Something isn't right, though.
Lilly was way too careful to trip over something. While she didn't usually go alone, she had been to the Shanghai dozens of times, she knew the way, and everything that could have been in the way. For that matter, she ended up guiding me some of the time.
So, does that mean she was... pushed?
I decide that I need to look into this. It's the least I could do for her.
Last edited by bhtooefr on Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
A Little Push, part 2
I hand the fare to the taxi driver, and grab my luggage out of the trunk.
Today's gonna be a long day.
When I got the call that Lilly had died, I cried for the first time in years. Really, the first time since our parents had abandoned us in Japan.
Our parents sent me back from Scotland to deal with Lilly's affairs. They couldn't even come to do it themselves. What great parents.
After checking in with the office, I head over to the dorms. I decide to check on how Hisao's doing. Hanako's strong, she'll get through it eventually, but Hisao... I'm not sure. I saw how he was when he nearly died trying to stop Lilly from leaving Japan.
As I knock on Hisao's door, I hear the clicking of locks on the door behind me, and that door opens. An overpowering smell of garlic wafts out.
A skinny, dark-haired boy peeks his head out. "Who's there... GAH!"
The boy ducks back in, and slams the door. The sound of locks clicking repeats. That was odd.
I shake my head, and knock on Hisao's door again. This time, Hisao unlocks his door.
"A-Akira? Come on in."
I do so, and Hisao offers me a seat in his desk chair. Damn, that's a lot of pill bottles.
I take a closer look at Hisao, and he looks like he's aged 20 years since I last saw him, and I doubt he's gotten any sleep in the past week.
I decide to break the ice. "How are you holding up?"
Hisao looks around the room, and grimaces. Looks like he's punched the walls a few times, and I notice his busted knuckles. "Not well. You?"
"Could be better."
A silence descends over the room again.
There's an elephant in the room, and both of us are avoiding it. But, this is a rather tiny room, and it's hard to avoid an elephant in a room this size. Screw it, I'm saying something.
"Does something not seem... right... about all this, Hisao?"
"What do you mean?"
"The report. I knew Lilly her whole life, and there's only one time she was ever reckless, and that's when she confessed to you. Otherwise, she was extremely careful about everything. I really don't think she tripped on something."
"Are you saying..."
"I'm saying she was pushed, Hisao." There. I said it. I don't have a clue who pushed her, but...
"But... Why? Who? I mean, it's not like she had many enemies, and why would someone want to kill her?"
"I'm wondering the same thing. Maybe we should talk to Hanako, see what she thinks. I want to check up on her anyway."
Hisao nods, and we both head over to the girls' dorm. Hanako isn't there, but a note on her door says she's at the newspaper room.
----------
"Hanako? What's going on?"
I haven't seen Hanako in class for the past week, ever since we found out Satou had died. And, she's been missing newspaper club meetings since then, too. I've had to take on her work for this week's paper, and got a couple seizures as a reward for it. Nurse gave me the third degree when he heard about that.
But, today, she barges into the newspaper room. She looks like she hasn't slept in a whole week, and she seems a bit delirious. I forget all about any anger at her, when I see her.
"I-I-I th-think we d-don't have the f-f-full s-s-story ab-about L-L-L-Lilly." Damn, she's a wreck. Stuttering is normal for her, but not like this.
I remember something about it being an accident, that she tripped and fell in the path of a car. Wouldn't be the first time an accident like that's happened, but it seems like Hanako isn't taking that at face value.
"You know we can't print anything like that..."
"Th-that's not why I'm here. I n-need a c-couple voice r-recorders, and s-some contacts for the p-p-police. A-And if y-you kn-know of any r-rumors..."
I hand her the recorders, then flip through my contact list and jot down some phone numbers. Like I said, I know we can't print anything that she finds, but she's helped us out enough, so I don't mind helping her out how I can.
"Here you go, Hanako. I don't know of any rumors about Lilly, though. Well, other than that one about you and her, but..."
Hanako's face goes bright red. "I... I... Ivegottogodosomething!" She runs for it.
Huh. Maybe there was something to it? Nah, that rumor can't be true. My gaydar's picked up nothing.
----------
Hanako goes running past us at breakneck speed. I think she might actually have been faster than Emi there.
Wonder what happened in the newspaper room just now. She wasn't crying or anything, so it can't have been that bad, at least.
It looks like Hanako was headed for the tea room, so we head there. The door's shut, so Akira knocks.
"G-Go away, N-Naomi!"
"Hanako, it's Akira and Hisao."
Hanako flings the door open, and almost tackle-hugs Akira.
"Wow, someone's missed me. How've you been holding up?"
Hanako looks like she's fighting back some tears.
"N-Not t-t-too badly... C-Can we t-talk in h-here? I'll m-make some t-tea."
We go ahead and take seats, Akira taking Lilly's usual seat. Once Hanako serves the tea, and sits down, she speaks up.
"I-I think th-there's s-s-something rotten ab-about all this. I w-w-was tr-trying to find out if N-Naomi knew anything."
I exchange a glance with Akira. So Hanako was thinking the same thing as Akira? Maybe they are onto something.
"You get anything from her? Any rumors?"
Hanako visibly shudders. "N-Nothing that c-c-can help us. But she d-did give me some eq-equipment and s-some ph-phone numbers."
Akira raises an eyebrow, but stays quiet when both Hanako and I glare at her. I think I know what rumors Hanako's talking about, and if I'm right, bringing them up will do exactly zero good.
"You know of any enemies that Lilly's made?"
"J-Just o-one. Ha-Hakamichi."
Akira shakes her head. "I know for a fact that Shizune wouldn't kill Lilly. They might have had a disagreement, but not like that. And I thought they made up, anyway."
"What about you, Hisao, know of anyone?"
"No, not really."
Wait a minute. There is one.
"Well... there is one, other than Shizune." Akira and Hanako are listening intently. "Kenji. He thought that Lilly was in charge of the feminist conspiracy, and he thought that she was a Yakuza princess, because he saw her meeting some blond 'guy' in a suit at the gate."
Akira chuckles darkly at that.
"S-So THAT ex-explains why he was acting s-so weird when we w-were p-painting that b-banner."
"And he's been oddly... happy... this past week. He's been suggesting that I go up to the roof and celebrate with him and a bottle of whiskey, and that the feminist menace has been knocked down a peg or some crazy talk like that. I punched him in the face for that. Oddly, he forgave me for that, but still..."
Hanako's eyes widen.
Akira pipes up. "Wait, didn't you say a while back that Kenji was the guy that lives across from you? Because some guy freaked out when I knocked on your door, as soon as he saw me."
Shit. It was Kenji, wasn't it.
I'm gonna kill that bastard next time I see him.
Hanako hands me a voice recorder. "I-I've got an i-idea."
What.
Hanako must see my expression of shock, as she continues. "G-Go 'c-celebrate' w-with him. I-I'll make sure y-you're safe. You m-make sure the r-recorder is running."
Huh. That's not the worst plan I've been a part of. Only slightly less likely to get me killed than running through a crowded airport to chase after Lilly. Screw it, I don't have any better plans, and it's not like I've got much left to live for anyway. Might as well make sure Lilly's killer is brought to justice.
Today's gonna be a long day.
When I got the call that Lilly had died, I cried for the first time in years. Really, the first time since our parents had abandoned us in Japan.
Our parents sent me back from Scotland to deal with Lilly's affairs. They couldn't even come to do it themselves. What great parents.
After checking in with the office, I head over to the dorms. I decide to check on how Hisao's doing. Hanako's strong, she'll get through it eventually, but Hisao... I'm not sure. I saw how he was when he nearly died trying to stop Lilly from leaving Japan.
As I knock on Hisao's door, I hear the clicking of locks on the door behind me, and that door opens. An overpowering smell of garlic wafts out.
A skinny, dark-haired boy peeks his head out. "Who's there... GAH!"
The boy ducks back in, and slams the door. The sound of locks clicking repeats. That was odd.
I shake my head, and knock on Hisao's door again. This time, Hisao unlocks his door.
"A-Akira? Come on in."
I do so, and Hisao offers me a seat in his desk chair. Damn, that's a lot of pill bottles.
I take a closer look at Hisao, and he looks like he's aged 20 years since I last saw him, and I doubt he's gotten any sleep in the past week.
I decide to break the ice. "How are you holding up?"
Hisao looks around the room, and grimaces. Looks like he's punched the walls a few times, and I notice his busted knuckles. "Not well. You?"
"Could be better."
A silence descends over the room again.
There's an elephant in the room, and both of us are avoiding it. But, this is a rather tiny room, and it's hard to avoid an elephant in a room this size. Screw it, I'm saying something.
"Does something not seem... right... about all this, Hisao?"
"What do you mean?"
"The report. I knew Lilly her whole life, and there's only one time she was ever reckless, and that's when she confessed to you. Otherwise, she was extremely careful about everything. I really don't think she tripped on something."
"Are you saying..."
"I'm saying she was pushed, Hisao." There. I said it. I don't have a clue who pushed her, but...
"But... Why? Who? I mean, it's not like she had many enemies, and why would someone want to kill her?"
"I'm wondering the same thing. Maybe we should talk to Hanako, see what she thinks. I want to check up on her anyway."
Hisao nods, and we both head over to the girls' dorm. Hanako isn't there, but a note on her door says she's at the newspaper room.
----------
"Hanako? What's going on?"
I haven't seen Hanako in class for the past week, ever since we found out Satou had died. And, she's been missing newspaper club meetings since then, too. I've had to take on her work for this week's paper, and got a couple seizures as a reward for it. Nurse gave me the third degree when he heard about that.
But, today, she barges into the newspaper room. She looks like she hasn't slept in a whole week, and she seems a bit delirious. I forget all about any anger at her, when I see her.
"I-I-I th-think we d-don't have the f-f-full s-s-story ab-about L-L-L-Lilly." Damn, she's a wreck. Stuttering is normal for her, but not like this.
I remember something about it being an accident, that she tripped and fell in the path of a car. Wouldn't be the first time an accident like that's happened, but it seems like Hanako isn't taking that at face value.
"You know we can't print anything like that..."
"Th-that's not why I'm here. I n-need a c-couple voice r-recorders, and s-some contacts for the p-p-police. A-And if y-you kn-know of any r-rumors..."
I hand her the recorders, then flip through my contact list and jot down some phone numbers. Like I said, I know we can't print anything that she finds, but she's helped us out enough, so I don't mind helping her out how I can.
"Here you go, Hanako. I don't know of any rumors about Lilly, though. Well, other than that one about you and her, but..."
Hanako's face goes bright red. "I... I... Ivegottogodosomething!" She runs for it.
Huh. Maybe there was something to it? Nah, that rumor can't be true. My gaydar's picked up nothing.
----------
Hanako goes running past us at breakneck speed. I think she might actually have been faster than Emi there.
Wonder what happened in the newspaper room just now. She wasn't crying or anything, so it can't have been that bad, at least.
It looks like Hanako was headed for the tea room, so we head there. The door's shut, so Akira knocks.
"G-Go away, N-Naomi!"
"Hanako, it's Akira and Hisao."
Hanako flings the door open, and almost tackle-hugs Akira.
"Wow, someone's missed me. How've you been holding up?"
Hanako looks like she's fighting back some tears.
"N-Not t-t-too badly... C-Can we t-talk in h-here? I'll m-make some t-tea."
We go ahead and take seats, Akira taking Lilly's usual seat. Once Hanako serves the tea, and sits down, she speaks up.
"I-I think th-there's s-s-something rotten ab-about all this. I w-w-was tr-trying to find out if N-Naomi knew anything."
I exchange a glance with Akira. So Hanako was thinking the same thing as Akira? Maybe they are onto something.
"You get anything from her? Any rumors?"
Hanako visibly shudders. "N-Nothing that c-c-can help us. But she d-did give me some eq-equipment and s-some ph-phone numbers."
Akira raises an eyebrow, but stays quiet when both Hanako and I glare at her. I think I know what rumors Hanako's talking about, and if I'm right, bringing them up will do exactly zero good.
"You know of any enemies that Lilly's made?"
"J-Just o-one. Ha-Hakamichi."
Akira shakes her head. "I know for a fact that Shizune wouldn't kill Lilly. They might have had a disagreement, but not like that. And I thought they made up, anyway."
"What about you, Hisao, know of anyone?"
"No, not really."
Wait a minute. There is one.
"Well... there is one, other than Shizune." Akira and Hanako are listening intently. "Kenji. He thought that Lilly was in charge of the feminist conspiracy, and he thought that she was a Yakuza princess, because he saw her meeting some blond 'guy' in a suit at the gate."
Akira chuckles darkly at that.
"S-So THAT ex-explains why he was acting s-so weird when we w-were p-painting that b-banner."
"And he's been oddly... happy... this past week. He's been suggesting that I go up to the roof and celebrate with him and a bottle of whiskey, and that the feminist menace has been knocked down a peg or some crazy talk like that. I punched him in the face for that. Oddly, he forgave me for that, but still..."
Hanako's eyes widen.
Akira pipes up. "Wait, didn't you say a while back that Kenji was the guy that lives across from you? Because some guy freaked out when I knocked on your door, as soon as he saw me."
Shit. It was Kenji, wasn't it.
I'm gonna kill that bastard next time I see him.
Hanako hands me a voice recorder. "I-I've got an i-idea."
What.
Hanako must see my expression of shock, as she continues. "G-Go 'c-celebrate' w-with him. I-I'll make sure y-you're safe. You m-make sure the r-recorder is running."
Huh. That's not the worst plan I've been a part of. Only slightly less likely to get me killed than running through a crowded airport to chase after Lilly. Screw it, I don't have any better plans, and it's not like I've got much left to live for anyway. Might as well make sure Lilly's killer is brought to justice.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
A Little Push, part 3
Yes, I reused Hisao, after using him in the last part. I couldn't get it to work with Kenji. Not in a way that wasn't comedic relief, and this is so much not comedic relief.
----------
Damnit, Hanako.
Neither Akira nor I were able to come up with a better plan, so we went with Hanako's plan.
And that's why I'm on the roof, with the guy who probably killed my girlfriend, drinking whiskey. Hanako and Akira are hiding out in the radio room, watching.
I swear, if I survive this, I'm going to get back at Hanako for using me as murderer bait. Maybe Kenji's right, maybe all of this is a feminist conspiracy.
Damnit, stay on mission, Hisao. You're a little bit drunk. And maybe lay off the bottle some, you need to be somewhat sober for this. At least it's Kenji that drunk most of the bottle so far.
"So, yeah, this 's gonna blow yer mind, man." Well, pretty much everything Kenji says does that, but not for the reason he thinks it does.
"I actu'lly had a girrfrend once." Cue that video of a guy's head exploding, from that one old American movie that Misha recommended. I'm actually legitimately surprised by this.
"But then, we had sex." Wait, can a head explode twice? Because I think mine just did.
"Afferwrds, I felt so... tired. That's not what iss suppos'd to be like after sex! That bitch drained my life force, and that's why the *hic* feminist scum must die!" Wait, what? THIS is why he's got a vendetta against women? Damnit, I'm not drunk enough for this.
I take a long swig of the whiskey, and hand it back to Kenji. He takes a swig himself, almost finishing off the bottle, and continues.
"So, 'bout a week ago, I shaw that Satou bitch comin' into town. I hid in th' bushes, as she was walkin'. Then, when a car came by, I jumped out of th' bushes 'n' pushed her. Ran for it."
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
He just admitted it. I fight the urge to strangle Kenji, there's too many witnesses.
And Hanako's voice recorder just recorded it. Did her plan actually work?
I see a dim light in the radio room. I know I need to keep Kenji distracted, and stay alive. I'm pretty sure what I was just told was 'I'll tell you, but then I have to kill you' territory.
"So, yeah, bro. I got ya out of that bitch's clutches. And de... demor... demoralized th' feminists, 'speshully that bacon bitch. But I did see a Ya... Yakuza earl'r t'day, ya gotta watch yer shix, bro."
Bacon bitch? Really? I clench my fists, and resist the desire to kill Kenji.
Kenji leans forward. I back away.
"Dude, you're my bro, gimme a manly hug, thank me 'n' all!"
He leans forward again. I back further away. We repeat this a couple times, and then I notice I'm up against the fence.
"Dude, look out, man, th' fence ain't safe."
Kenji sways forward, and almost falls on me. I step out of the way, thanking myself for having a little self-control with the whiskey. Kenji crashes into the fence, and it rattles ominously.
"What the hell, bro? You were supposed to catch me!"
Shit, now Kenji's pissed. He takes a swing at me.
Luckily, this is the moment when the door to the roof flies open.
"POLICE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"
----------
I'm actually amazed that plan worked. I didn't even think that one through, I basically blurted it out. Good thing, though, because we probably wouldn't have caught Kenji otherwise.
Hisao's forgiven me... mostly, anyway. I won't do that again, that's for sure, that was an idiotic idea to send him directly into harm's way.
Which Mutou and Nurse just had to point out to me again. Even though Hisao had screamed it at me before. I would've run if I didn't think I deserved it.
Naomi yelled at me for losing one of her voice recorders. She wouldn't take "the police took it for evidence" for an answer, and I had to go buy a replacement. I ended up letting Akira pay for it, mainly because there was no way I could afford that model.
Akira stayed with us for another week, both to make sure we were OK, and to collect Lilly's belongings. Unfortunately, she had to return to Scotland.
Kenji ended up being convicted of murder, and sent to a mental institution. He won't be hurting anyone again. I just wish this had happened before he killed Lilly. I miss her every day, and I know Hisao does, too.
And, today, it's a couple weeks before graduation. I'm playing chess with Hisao in my room, something we've been doing for the past few months, almost every day. We've been spending more and more time with one another, picking up the pieces after Lilly's death.
I've heard the rumors that we're dating. I'm not so sure I mind them. I'm just not sure if I can make them true, or if Hisao wants them to be true.
"Ch-checkmate."
"Damn, Hanako. You've been getting too good at this!"
I giggle a little at his reaction to his utter defeat.
As I put the chess board away, Hisao looks at his watch.
"6:45... yeah, I should get back to my dorm before curfew."
Not tonight, you won't. I've only got two weeks to do this, and if I'm right about it, I want to get this done as soon as possible. I won't lie, I've had feelings for Hisao for a long time, but I buried them deeply when Lilly confessed to him. Since we've been helping each other through the aftermath, they've come back. I feel horrible about this, but at the same time, I think we both need to move on from Lilly.
I grab onto his arm as he turns to leave.
"H-Hey. H-Hisao. Y-You don't h-have to l-l-leave."
Hisao looks at me with confusion all over his face.
I hope this works.
I kiss Hisao.
Let's just say he doesn't leave, and leave it at that.
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----------
Damnit, Hanako.
Neither Akira nor I were able to come up with a better plan, so we went with Hanako's plan.
And that's why I'm on the roof, with the guy who probably killed my girlfriend, drinking whiskey. Hanako and Akira are hiding out in the radio room, watching.
I swear, if I survive this, I'm going to get back at Hanako for using me as murderer bait. Maybe Kenji's right, maybe all of this is a feminist conspiracy.
Damnit, stay on mission, Hisao. You're a little bit drunk. And maybe lay off the bottle some, you need to be somewhat sober for this. At least it's Kenji that drunk most of the bottle so far.
"So, yeah, this 's gonna blow yer mind, man." Well, pretty much everything Kenji says does that, but not for the reason he thinks it does.
"I actu'lly had a girrfrend once." Cue that video of a guy's head exploding, from that one old American movie that Misha recommended. I'm actually legitimately surprised by this.
"But then, we had sex." Wait, can a head explode twice? Because I think mine just did.
"Afferwrds, I felt so... tired. That's not what iss suppos'd to be like after sex! That bitch drained my life force, and that's why the *hic* feminist scum must die!" Wait, what? THIS is why he's got a vendetta against women? Damnit, I'm not drunk enough for this.
I take a long swig of the whiskey, and hand it back to Kenji. He takes a swig himself, almost finishing off the bottle, and continues.
"So, 'bout a week ago, I shaw that Satou bitch comin' into town. I hid in th' bushes, as she was walkin'. Then, when a car came by, I jumped out of th' bushes 'n' pushed her. Ran for it."
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
He just admitted it. I fight the urge to strangle Kenji, there's too many witnesses.
And Hanako's voice recorder just recorded it. Did her plan actually work?
I see a dim light in the radio room. I know I need to keep Kenji distracted, and stay alive. I'm pretty sure what I was just told was 'I'll tell you, but then I have to kill you' territory.
"So, yeah, bro. I got ya out of that bitch's clutches. And de... demor... demoralized th' feminists, 'speshully that bacon bitch. But I did see a Ya... Yakuza earl'r t'day, ya gotta watch yer shix, bro."
Bacon bitch? Really? I clench my fists, and resist the desire to kill Kenji.
Kenji leans forward. I back away.
"Dude, you're my bro, gimme a manly hug, thank me 'n' all!"
He leans forward again. I back further away. We repeat this a couple times, and then I notice I'm up against the fence.
"Dude, look out, man, th' fence ain't safe."
Kenji sways forward, and almost falls on me. I step out of the way, thanking myself for having a little self-control with the whiskey. Kenji crashes into the fence, and it rattles ominously.
"What the hell, bro? You were supposed to catch me!"
Shit, now Kenji's pissed. He takes a swing at me.
Luckily, this is the moment when the door to the roof flies open.
"POLICE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"
----------
I'm actually amazed that plan worked. I didn't even think that one through, I basically blurted it out. Good thing, though, because we probably wouldn't have caught Kenji otherwise.
Hisao's forgiven me... mostly, anyway. I won't do that again, that's for sure, that was an idiotic idea to send him directly into harm's way.
Which Mutou and Nurse just had to point out to me again. Even though Hisao had screamed it at me before. I would've run if I didn't think I deserved it.
Naomi yelled at me for losing one of her voice recorders. She wouldn't take "the police took it for evidence" for an answer, and I had to go buy a replacement. I ended up letting Akira pay for it, mainly because there was no way I could afford that model.
Akira stayed with us for another week, both to make sure we were OK, and to collect Lilly's belongings. Unfortunately, she had to return to Scotland.
Kenji ended up being convicted of murder, and sent to a mental institution. He won't be hurting anyone again. I just wish this had happened before he killed Lilly. I miss her every day, and I know Hisao does, too.
And, today, it's a couple weeks before graduation. I'm playing chess with Hisao in my room, something we've been doing for the past few months, almost every day. We've been spending more and more time with one another, picking up the pieces after Lilly's death.
I've heard the rumors that we're dating. I'm not so sure I mind them. I'm just not sure if I can make them true, or if Hisao wants them to be true.
"Ch-checkmate."
"Damn, Hanako. You've been getting too good at this!"
I giggle a little at his reaction to his utter defeat.
As I put the chess board away, Hisao looks at his watch.
"6:45... yeah, I should get back to my dorm before curfew."
Not tonight, you won't. I've only got two weeks to do this, and if I'm right about it, I want to get this done as soon as possible. I won't lie, I've had feelings for Hisao for a long time, but I buried them deeply when Lilly confessed to him. Since we've been helping each other through the aftermath, they've come back. I feel horrible about this, but at the same time, I think we both need to move on from Lilly.
I grab onto his arm as he turns to leave.
"H-Hey. H-Hisao. Y-You don't h-have to l-l-leave."
Hisao looks at me with confusion all over his face.
I hope this works.
I kiss Hisao.
Let's just say he doesn't leave, and leave it at that.
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Last edited by bhtooefr on Wed Nov 13, 2013 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Wow. That was dark. Well-written, no doubt - best thing I've read from you so far, no question. I...do have serious doubts that Kenji could do that, though. I certainly believe that he thinks he could kill somebody, and he possibly could if he got enough liquid courage into him. However, he really doesn't strike me as the impulsive type -- he'd plan the thing for months, with diagrams! and spreadsheets! and puppets! - and if he was, he'd probably end up trying to push over a stop sign instead of Lilly . Enjoyable read, though.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
I won't deny that there's problems with the murder method.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was stalking Lilly, and came up with the plan over time, though. I don't think I said anything that would conflict with that, and canon even implies that he was stalking Lilly - he's blind as a bat and was able to see Akira, for fuck's sake.
And, in his own route, he did kinda accidentally kill Hisao the same way he suggested to murder someone in Emi's route. So, I think he's very much capable of killing someone.
I'll note that the radio room was borrowed from NekoDude's story, I needed somewhere for Akira and Hanako to safely watch everything. Actually, I think I have to thank NekoDude for getting me on this path - it was a discussion of who to kill off in his story that led to me pursuing this route. (He had already decided on his character, when I came up with Lilly for the lulz, and then realized that there is actually someone who may want Lilly dead, and went from there.)
I wouldn't be surprised if he was stalking Lilly, and came up with the plan over time, though. I don't think I said anything that would conflict with that, and canon even implies that he was stalking Lilly - he's blind as a bat and was able to see Akira, for fuck's sake.
And, in his own route, he did kinda accidentally kill Hisao the same way he suggested to murder someone in Emi's route. So, I think he's very much capable of killing someone.
I'll note that the radio room was borrowed from NekoDude's story, I needed somewhere for Akira and Hanako to safely watch everything. Actually, I think I have to thank NekoDude for getting me on this path - it was a discussion of who to kill off in his story that led to me pursuing this route. (He had already decided on his character, when I came up with Lilly for the lulz, and then realized that there is actually someone who may want Lilly dead, and went from there.)
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Hmmm...admittedly, I hadn't thought about the possibility that it was planned. That would make sense, but it didn't come to mind from the text. Also, the portrayal of Kenji's eyesight is somewhat inconsistent even within the game, so I'll give you that one .bhtooefr wrote:I won't deny that there's problems with the murder method.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was stalking Lilly, and came up with the plan over time, though. I don't think I said anything that would conflict with that, and canon even implies that he was stalking Lilly - he's blind as a bat and was able to see Akira, for fuck's sake.
Also, until about halfway through, I thought you might have been going for Hanako having killed Lilly out of jealousy .
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
- Kyler Thatch
- Posts: 139
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:13 am
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Well, that was a fun read. At least if you can believe that Kenji would be deranged enough to kill someone, but I don't think that's asking for too much.
Re: bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
I honestly hadn't thought much about it, either, until you mentioned it. I didn't want to give the murderer the spotlight (which is why I couldn't make a Kenji POV on the roof work), I wanted to use the murder as a plot device to make the Hanako and Hisao interaction work. And, Akira turned out to be handy to keep it moving.dewelar wrote:Hmmm...admittedly, I hadn't thought about the possibility that it was planned. That would make sense, but it didn't come to mind from the text. Also, the portrayal of Kenji's eyesight is somewhat inconsistent even within the game, so I'll give you that one .
I opened with Hanako POV, even! This isn't Katawa Yandere!dewelar wrote:Also, until about halfway through, I thought you might have been going for Hanako having killed Lilly out of jealousy .
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!